not even close to gluten free

singelisilverslippers  asked:

I feel like an important question to ask is: what KIND of donuts are we talking about in this trashbag? Is it a bajillion plain glazed from Krispy Kreme? Is it a variety? Are there jam-filled? Are there chocolate? Are there donuts with icing? Are there apple cider donuts (my favorite tbh)? Are there sprinkles? Do you contain multitudes, basically, is what I'm asking.

OKAY SO THE THING ABOUT TRASHBAG DONUTS IS: i worked at a camp for kids the summer that I was 20. and part of that meant eating the same things that the kids ate, being on the same nutritional plan. which was great, you know, because it was theoretically a good nutrition plan and we should all treat our bodies like temples OR WHATEVER.

but the tHING WAS, right, that sometimes, someTIMES, you just. you just want JUNK FOOD. you just want to put stuff into your body that you KNOW IS GOING TO CLOG YOU ARTERIES, BUT LIKE, FUCK IT, DEATH COMES FOR ALL OF US. IT COMES FOR ALL OF US, EVEN GLUTEN-FREE VEGANS WHO LOVE RUNNING.

so one night a bunch of us were on our night off and we were like, “if someone doesn’t put some fucking junk food in my mouth RIGHT NOW i am going to full on rip the flesh from my bones and start the first skeleton war,” so we went to dunkin donuts (because WHERE ELSE DO YOU GO TO AVOID THE SKELETON WAR????).

the problem was that it was like…. 10ish p.m., and dunkin donuts was CLOSING. what in the SWEET NAME OF JESUS did dunkin donuts think it was doing????? closing???? AT 10ISH P.M.????? didn’t it know we were TRYING TO AVOID A SKELETON WAR?

the guys who were closing up were like, “uh, sorry, this is just. when we close, but if you want some leftover donuts i guess you can have them? we usually throw them away?”

  • THROW THEM AWAY???????
  • WHAT KIND OF DEVIL SPAWN EVEN ARE YOU?
  • who does this??? what is this cold, corporate world we live in where we just THROW DONUTS AWAY???

“how many of them can we have?” we asked.

“how many do you want?” he responded.

HERE’S THE THING. i THINK he expected us to giggle and be like, “oh, just a bear paw for me, please,” or “well i’ll take a strawberry glazed!” or “well, maybe just a little donut hole.”

what we said was: WE’LL TAKE ALL OF THEM.

“all………of them???”

ALL OF THEM.

“there are. there are lot. as you can see here, there are—a lot.”

ALL OF THEM.

“are you sure you—i really think maybe you’re underestimating just how many—”

ALL.

OF.

THEM.

he put them in a trashbag. where else are you going to put them? but in a trashbag? where else are you going to put your trash donuts to give to five-ish wide-eyed monsters who are looking at you like if you don’t give them their sugar fix they’re going to grind your bones to make their bread?????

  • listen, i ruled over a cabin with ELEVEN TO THIRTEEN YEAR OLD GIRLS and i only cried TWICE.
  • YOU THINK I’M SCARED OF ONE DUDE IN A DUNKIN DONUTS UNIFROM JUDGING ME FOR MY VOLUME OF DONUT CONSUMPTION???
  • please.
  • please.

we brought them back to the car, literally giddy with victory. i cannot explain to you what the feeling of those trashbag donuts felt like. i cannot. it is, i imagine, what pirates felt like when they took over government ships. it is the ending championship game scene of every sports movie. it’s the part in the romcom where they kiss in a hot air balloon. IT’S EVERY P&G COMMERCIAL ABOUT MOMS.

we brought them back to camp, frantically texting the other counselors. COME 2 FRONT 4 DONUTS. KEEP IT SECRET. KEEP IT SAFE.

they came in hoards, but we were the masters. they were our donuts. we were gods among sugar-starved mortals. “oh, you want the last boston cream pie? well, gosh. so does jenny. WHAT CAN YOU DO FOR ME THAT JENNY CAN’T?”

  • nothing.
  • you and jenny are both cogs in the wheel.
  • i am the donut god.
  • these donuts are joy, they are victory, they are light.
  • they are in a trashbag.
  • get in, motherfuckers. WE’RE GETTING SUGAR HIGH.

(image from the SmithbySmithies post about Chase x)

Today room assignments came out and I couldn’t be happier! I’m in Chase which has substance free housing and is entirely singles! There are 57 students, and we share a dining hall with Duckett. It is also very close to Dawes, the gluten free dining hall. This was my first choice for housing, so even though I’m in one of the smaller rooms I’m very excited! Only 35 more days till move in!

Kissing in the Rain: Callbacks

“I love you. I love you, I love you, I -”

“Oh, shut up.”

Lily looks up at her potential co-star, whose name she’s already forgotten. Ben Cute-Hair-Weird-Eyes Something. She hopes to God they don’t cast him, he delivers his lines like they’re in a college production of Our Town, all boyish charm and theater-trained intensity on cue. She leans in to kiss him, then -

“Thank you, Ben, we’ll be in touch,” says Nancy the casting director.

Lily pulls back and smiles at Ben politely. He’s cute in a Neutrogena commercial way, but he smells like an ad for Axe Body Spray and she bets he’d kiss like a public service announcement. She glances at Nancy, who’s already scrolling through her smartphone and doing her best impression of Very Busy Casting Director Lady. If people were rain, Nancy was a freak occurrence LA thunderstorm that casually ruined your day on its way to the Caribbean.

Keep reading

myarmsareridiculous  asked:

Beautiful darling I have to ask: how do you think cat's peers and employees will react when they find out about her relationship? I'm so sad there's only one more chapter when I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS

oh my honey bee. i have so many feelings about this and they’re all warm and fuzzy. i’ll tell you about the employees, because you’ll prob see her peers reacting on the actual story.

WORK FROM HOME, the headcanons

supergirl/supercat. AU. Romcom. Cat’s building a new house. Kara is her hot contractor. AO3 / TUMBLR

Cat’s employees and Kara.

Cat’s employees are drawn to Kara like bees to honey. They’re so goddamn smitten by this girl it almost pisses Cat off. They fawn over her like they do with Maxwell Lord, who is quite the competition with his genius mind and stupid face. It’s different, though — Kara doesn’t have to rely on name or looks or money.

She memorizes the names of everyone in the CatCo building, from the doorman to interns to managers. She stops for a chat and a cup of coffee, too, like she’s friends with all the creatures to ever walk the Earth. She remembers birthdays, listens, and asks about their kid’s science fair.

Once, she brings a delicious gluten-free cake for Rosa from IT, the mother of a 4 year old child with celiac who’s very unhappy with his condition. Lucy tells Cat all about it: Rosa crying fat, happy tears, Kara blushing and mumbling she hopes the kids at his birthday party would enjoy it.

Honestly.

After those first white lilies, flowers arrive at her office religiously every Monday at 8am. How much money is Kara spending on these beautiful, color-coded flowers?

And Lucy. Her office isn’t even close to Cat’s, but she always manages to be around when the flowers arrive. The woman thinks she’s being sneaky with her photo taking, but Cat has eyes and Lucy’s as subtle as a meteor shower.

When confronted, Lucy says it’s for archival reasons. She will never give up the idea that Cat will have a museum dedicated to her someday, and that it’s up to Lucy to document as much as possible. For the historians of the future, Cat!

Then. Cat’s employees catch up with what’s happening, and they start looking at Cat like she’s a human with actual emotions. It’s exceptionally difficult to scare people into submission when there are fresh, gorgeous flowers from your suitor on your desk every day. Even Nargis, her usually stoic Senior Editor, smiles when she sees the orchids on the fourth week.

The first time Kara actually shows up during the workday, it’s ridiculous: she’s wearing Cat’s favorite dark jeans, the ones that hug her ass and stretch her legs for days, along with spotless white sneakers, a grey hoodie and flannel. Her hair is down, curls falling on her shoulders like she’s a goddamn model, and she’s smiling like a goddamn Prince Charming when she enters Cat’s office with a beautiful vase of white carnations.

Cat leans against her desk and watches Kara place them on the spot Cat has saved for the flower of the week — a fact Kara would never have known unless Lucy had already babbled off her mouth, that tattletale.

Kara turns to Cat and rests a hand on her waist, smartly testing the limits of their interactions at Cat’s workplace. Cat nods and places a hand on Kara’s chest, enjoying their proximity. The rich sandalwood and musk notes of Kara’s perfume are downright appetizing, and fuck if it isn’t the best gift Cat has ever given anyone. She will personally thank Hugo Boss’ heirs when she meets them again.

Cat’s hand sneaks to the back of Kara neck, pulling her in for a quick, wet kiss. Kara looks so satisfied, Cat steals another kiss, longer this time. Just wanted to wish you a good week. Cat nods, wishing she had more than a mere 7 minutes before her board meeting begins. See you around, Kara says, and she fucking winks before she leaves, like she knows the effect she has on Cat.

The nerve.

Obviously, when Cat takes a deep breath and looks out to her bullpen, face impassive once more, the entire floor is staring in disbelief. They all scramble to pick up where they left off, half terrified and half embarrassed. An intern lets a pile of paper fall on the ground with a loud thud, mouth gaping in disbelief.

They’re wise enough not to look in Cat’s eyes the entire week. It takes an inordinate amount of restraint not to fire anyone who has dared to breathe that morning.

So, in the span of 4 minutes, Kara becomes a living legend, The Girl Who Won Over The Queen.

Lucy will keep track of every comment and gossip about them in a file labeled TrashCo.

I greatly dislike breeders, as in animals not heterosexuals, I like them just fine. Mostly. Good breeders are very hard to find but they do exist. Polite, educated ones that are willing to work with a vet I have no issue with. I have a problem with breeders that feel they know more than the vet and then give ridiculous instructions for owners to follow. Not only is it absolutely insulting to bring medical instructions from a breeder and expect them to be followed but generally vets will then assume you are a nut job and are going to be a very difficult client. Every once in awhile I have a client that does this and after a discussion they say “I had no idea. You’re the doctor, I will go with what you say” and a shaft of pure sunlight pierces the ceiling and bathes them in golden light. The delicate scent of roses fills the air and just off in the distance a beautiful choir can be heard. Truly this is a magical experience akin to seeing a unicorn or getting your order correct the first time at Dunkin. 

Can you imagine going to see your dermatologist and giving them a list of things that can and cannot be done that your cosmetologist wrote? Or taking your car to the mechanic and handing them the phone to discuss the repairs with the guy that works at the car wash? Not only is it silly but much of the information is absolutely wrong. There is no such thing as a “half vaccine”, the entire dose must be given to ensure it stimulates an immune response. Tiny dogs have the same “sized” immune system as bigger dogs. Even if your dog stays inside its entire life it could get leptosporosis or lyme disease. I have seen it happen. You don’t have to rub honey or corn syrup on puppy gums every few hours. Nor do puppies need gluten free/grain free diets. Animals cannot even develop a food allergy until they are close to a year old and the vast majority that do are not allergic to corn or gluten but to beef, chicken, or lamb. 

It is almost important to realize that regardless of what you or your breeder wants, as a veterinarian I have to at least discuss the various diseases and feeding recommendations with you. Even if you will never, ever, never vaccinate your dog for lepto I still have to discuss it with you. Why? Because let’s say your dog gets infected with lepto and then your young child also gets it. Then you file a complaint against me as a vet stating I never told you about it. I would be found guilty. So I have to discuss it with you and write in the chart that we discussed it and you still declined. You are also paying for that discussion. A vet visit is not just an exam, we are being paid to give you the best medical advice for your particular pet and by thrusting a list of things at us that we cannot do and you won’t even discuss is robbing you of something you are paying for anyway.

This isn’t just dog and cat breeders either. I get told all the time that an owner called their rabbit breeder for advice. Once I had an owner demand I call and discuss my deworming protocol with the breeder of his ball python. I refused. I have even had a gecko breeder send a client with a list of things that the veterinarian was going to say and what to say to refute them. These people mostly paid for their exams and left with absolutely nothing, not even advice.

Be open to what your vet says and listen to everything they have to say. Remember that just because someone breeds animals doesn’t mean they understand how they work or what medications they need. Once you discuss everything with the vet you are still welcome to disagree but do it the right way. Just say “I appreciate you explaining this to me, however I still believe ___ and would really like it if we could find some way to work with this and still provide my pet care.” I promise if you are polite I will find a way to work with you even if I don’t necessarily agree with your stance.

Vegan teriyaki seitan with noodles

As a person who follows a ridiculous number of vegan food bloggers for someone who is neither a master chef nor a vegan, I’ve been reading a lot about seitan recently. Made from wheat gluten, it’s a meat substitute that more closely resembles the texture of meat than tofu, and contains lots of protein while being soy free. I found it at a grocery store that stocks a lot of asian ingredients. Also look for it at a health food store. You can also make it at home if you’re feeling especially adventurous.  A package for me cost $3, and had enough to feed me, my boyfriend, and lots of leftovers. I’m a vegetarian and loved it, but my omnivore boyfriend possibly loved it even more than me!

Ingredients

  • 1 package seitan
  • fresh or frozen veggies (I used: 1 small red pepper, 1 small onion, a handful of sliced button mushrooms, 1 shredded kale leaf, but use whatever you’ve got on hand!)
  • olive oil
  • Teriyaki sauce
  • noodles (I used pho rice noodles)
  • avocado (optional)
  1. Start by placing the seitan in some sort of bowl, dish, or zip lock bag to marinate. I used a dish large enough for the seitan to sit in one layer, and enough teriyaki to cover the bottom of the dish about a quarter of an inch. Mix the seitan around in order to coat it in the sauce. Do this periodically as it’s marinating.
  2. Next, cook up your veggies in a pan with some olive oil on a low-medium heat (about 4 on the scale of 1 to 10). Add things that take longer to cook first (like onions and red pepper). Add a little water to the pan if things start to stick. 
  3. After about 10 minutes, add in the seitan and the sauce. Let it heat for another five minutes or so. While that’s cooking, boil your noodles. (The noodles I used only take two minutes in boiling water, so check your package instructions beforehand to make sure you time the noodles to be done when the seitan/veggies are.)

Serve in a bowl, mixing around the seitan/veg to coat the noodles with the teriyaki sauce. Garnish with sliced avocado or whatever else your heart desires!

(Tip: I used my leftover seitan/veg mixture the next morning with two fried eggs and some sour creme for a savoury (non vegan) breakfast. Also could be great on a sandwich, or served with rice!)

3

This sandwich was such a happy accident! I had some leftover grilled eggplant and threw it on a sandwich with what I happened to have around, in this case homemade pesto, avocado and spinach and the results were just fantastic! Even though it’s only a little bit of pesto it packs such a strong basil punch alongside the creaminess of the avocado. And the eggplant! Well, I just love eggplant, especially grilled, so in my book this is about as close to veggie sandwich perfection as it gets haha!

For more easy healthy sandwich & lunch ideas go here. :)

Fan Canon Summary (3/10-3/13)

This summary has been reviewed and approved by Yulin Kuang.
All fan canon cited with author username and a link to the post on the lilyandjameskitr blog.
Strikethrough indicates canon that has since been redacted/contradicted.

The Universe

The Harry Potter books exist in James and Lily’s universe. (clavisa)

Acting History

Lily starred in a “teen witches movie” last summer. (yulinkuang) The film was called Spelling Lessons and was about a high school senior named Sally Sowerby who “must decide whether she will live a life of normalcy with humans, or a life of surprises in the magical world.” (belovedcreation) The film received a 53% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, the critics consensus being that “charming leads and supporting cast aside, the film adapts its source material too literally and fails to rise above or even meet expectations of the teen magic genre.” (shipwreckedcomedy)

James and Lily met at a “CW pilot” last year. They had “like, one scene together.” (yulinkuang) The pilot was for a TV adaptation of Warm Bodies. (spinstermoderne) James curiously watched Lily eat a peach on set. (rosieramblings)

James has been turned down for a lot of roles recently because casting directors “don’t see much romance appeal in his demo reel.” (rosieramblings)

Casting

Ben, a recent UCLA grad and nephew of one of the producers, also auditioned for the role of James. (yulinkuang)

Nancy, the casting director for the film, drinks “greenish juice that looks unappetizingly healthy.” (yulinkuang)

During the Scene

Lily “doesn’t appreciate the tongue.” (Kyrie-Anne) “THE TONGUE SHALL NOT BE FORGIVEN.” (prettyfaroutman) Lily thought James may have left his gum behind her molar. (genderific) Lily “won’t stop talking about [James’s] overuse of tongue.” (rosieramblings).

Lily has conflicted feelings about the glasses James wears in the scene. (Kyrie-Anne)

Lily wipes her face after the “cut” because she can still feel the rainwater on her face from when James was kissing her. She’s distracted by the “lingering evidence of how close they’d been just moments before.” (untiltheveryend)

After the Scene

James goes to “the pub he wanted to bring Lily to.” He orders a pomegranate martini and mini burger sliders. He does not order mozzarella sticks. (imagineagreatadventure) The mini burger sliders are gluten-free. (shipwreckedcomedy)

James visits the Starbucks where Lily works. He orders a grande half-caf hazelnut mocha (presumably with soy milk) and a slice of pound cake. (aeternamente) It’s gluten-free pound cake. (shipwreckedcomedy) He buys the pound cake (even though he can’t eat it) “just to stall.” (ekth) “The second time he buys a banana, the third time he buys an apple, and the fourth time she isn’t there, so he stops going. […] There’s a Coffee Bean across the street that has gluten-free walnut muffins.” (shipwreckedcomedy)

About Lily

Lily is allergic to gluten. (yulinkuang)

Lily is “no stranger to onscreen kisses.” (untiltheveryend)

Rumor has it that Lily’s hair color is “from a bottle.” (rosieramblings)

Lily currently works at Starbucks between projects to support her acting career. (aeternamente, shipwreckedcomedy)

Lily’s friend Pam ships Lily/James because of Harry Potter, but Lily “[doesn’t] date costars, especially ones as awkward as that guy.” (clavisa)

About James

James is allergic to milk, eggs, wheat, and tomatoes. (spinstermoderne)

James has never done an onscreen kiss before. (rosieramblings)

James has had several steady girlfriends. "One girl remarked [James] had a nice tongue, so he tried to use it often.“ (rosieramblings) He had a girlfriend named Lily just after high school. He ”liked how their names seemed to fit together.“ This Lily was not a redhead. (clavisa)

James once made out with his best friend Sirius, resulting in the realization that James was straight and Sirius was bisexual. (rosieramblings)

James is not very coordinated. (ankahikoibaat)

James and Sirius have joked about the fact that they have the same names as Harry Potter characters, but decided it was "just a weird coincidence” since “they totally met each other the year before Pottermania swept the globe.” (clavisa)

Three Olympic gold medals. One World Cup victory. A pro league championship, which she won while three months pregnant, with Sky Blue F.C. Training through pregnancies and, for nearly a decade, balancing her job as an elite athlete with her job as a mother. Coping with Lyme disease, the Epstein-Barr virus and chronic fatigue syndrome, which doctors diagnosed in 2011, prompting her to eat gluten-free.

None of her teammates have résumés that even come close.

—  NYT on Christie Rampone (x)
Tofu Tips

My parents used to run an Asian grocery, and one of the biggest questions that came up were how to store tofu after opening. The following is what we would tell people that don’t eat all of the opened tofu immediately or within a 2-3 days of opening. To ensure that tofu stays fresh as long as possible, any tofu you do not use immediately should be submerged in fresh cold water in an air-tight container and refrigerated. This water needs to be changed daily if you want it to last more than a few days. It’s kind of a pain to do, but it really does help extend it’s freshness. Every day would be ideal, but every other day is okay, too. There is no need to rinse the tofu each time you change the water. Just strain it out and submerge it in fresh water.

Most of the time, restaurants and dining halls that offer tofu don’t change the water it’s stored in after opening (some will even leave it open to air), and their tofu ends up having a very odd taste or spoils quickly. Do not let this turn you away from the glory that is tofu! Even tofu past the expiration date is not necessarily bad. The best way to tell if tofu has gone bad in unopened packages is to inspect the package. Like metal cans, if the plastic containers have expanded and look like they may burst, they have most likely gone bad. Another indicator is to see how much air is in the package. Some tofu brand packages, such as Pulmuone or House, have a clear covers. If you can look inside and there is more air than a few small bubbles, you should probably stay away from it. And of course, smell and taste tests are the best final quality checks you can do. Bad tofu will have a sour smell and an odd rancid taste. And if you buy tofu that is close to the expiration date or even past but still okay, the best thing you can probably do is drain it of the packaged water and submerge it in fresh water.

Karlie Kloss' interview for ELLE Brazil (part I)

When Karlie Kloss, 23 years old, enters the studio
on an ordinary Monday morning at Chelsea, New York, barely distinguishes her from the fashion team assembled there.
Discreet, she arrives 20 minutes after the scheduled time (her final test of the semester at NYU to blame, she explains)
With a clean face, hair in a ponytail, jeans, flannel shirt and a low bootie. She smiles and goes one person at a time with her hand outstretched for a firm handshake followed by “hi, I’m Karlie Kloss, nice to meet you!”.

Discovery at age 13 at a charity event in St. Louis, Missouri, it only took her two years so that Kloss stepped on the catwalk for Calvin Klein, making her debut at NYFW. On the following season, she scored 64 shows between New York, Milan and Paris.
Since then, campaigns to powerful brands as Christian Dior, Hermès, Yves Saint Laurent, Marc Jacobs and Versace came, and two years as a Victoria’s Secret angel. Today, the eighth highest-paid model in the world (she put no less than 5 million dollars in her pocket in 2015) is ambassador for L’ Oréal Paris and has valuable contracts with brands ranging from Kate Spade to Topshop.

Face to face with her, one thing becomes clear immediately: Karlie has something different. Maybe it’s her naturally open way, curious and not even a little bit dazzled. Maybe it’s how she decided to lead life, without closing herself in the world of top models. Last year, Karlie joined the Gallatin School of Individualized Study (an interdisciplinary college from NYU), ran her first half marathon, created a channel on YouTube, recorded two video clips (one of her BFF Taylor Swift) and created the Kode with Karlie - a project that offers scholarships to girls between 13 and 18 to study code and computer programming.

She still commands philanthropic actions, such as Karlie’s Kookies (a line of vegan cookies, gluten free, which she created in partnership with Momofuku Milk Bar, in New York, and whose income from sales reverts to social projects aimed at feeding children in poverty). All these challenges were very well designed, she made sure to highlight. “I like to put myself in uncomfortable situations”, says earnestly. “The achievements of the past year came from calculated decisions. I wanted to take the reins of my life.”

Karlie is this interesting mix of excitement and curiosity of a girl and concern, responsibility and attention of an adult woman who has learned a lot along the way. In an interview with ELLE, she talks about education, social media and her powerful circle of friends.
@karliekloss