not even a squirrel

Drarry pick up lines
  • Harry: Hey, Draco.. Is that a cellphone on your backpocket? Cus that ass is calling me
  • Draco: Harry wtf is even a cellphone
  • -
  • Draco: You know why I am like a squirrel?
  • Harry: Because you are kinda annoying and you steal people's food?
  • Draco: No.. Dammit Harry! Because i want to bury my nuts in you! Fuck you, you always have to ruin my pickup lines!
  • -
  • *in Astronomy class*
  • Harry: Hey Draco, there are 8 planets, but only 7 after I destroy Uranus
Voltron characters as shit I've done
  • Hunk: screamed and flailed so much I fell off my couch while watching tv cause one of my favorite characters was in danger
  • Pidge: put an entire gallon of milk in our plate cabinet and left it there without even realizing
  • Allura: screamed 'SHIT, FUCK--SQUIRREL' on my school bus when a squirrel ran into the road in front of us
  • Lance: dabbed at my old science teacher and screamed when he dabbed back
  • Keith: burst into tears at 4am because I realized I had a crush on Lance
  • Shiro: jumped down a flight of stairs to prevent my baby sister from falling off the bed
  • Coran: ran into my brothers room and threw an actual teabag I had just used and screamed 'YOU JUST GOT TEABAGGED'
  • Matt: jumped onto my bed and my pants were so big on me that they flew off
  • Zarkon: carried my baby sister under my arm like a briefcase (she loves it)
  • Rolo: had my friend talk me down from stealing my teachers stapler bc 'the opportunity is right in front of me'
  • Nyma: stabbed a child in the head with a pencil when I was five bc he made fun of my hair
  • Shay: 'Phoenix get out of the tree you need shoes'
  • 'I WILL jump onto the roof if you don't shut the fuck up'

Squirrels and mushrooms by Odd E. Kjølstad

“Squirrels don’t only eat seeds and nuts. They also eat most types of mushrooms, even those whom are toxic for humans. Mushrooms contains chitin which the squirrels utilize though the small intestine. It turns out that the poisonous substance in the mushrooms are broken down and converted into harmless byproducts.”

Nowhere AU

Character A has always lived a nomadic lifestyle in the mountains and never expected anyone to bother them way up in the middle of nowhere….so why in the heck won’t Character B, an overly eccentric hiker, leave them alone?!! You’d think that throwing an axe at their head would deter them, but no - they just keep coming back. Character A even found them in a tree once, acting like a freaking squirrel and throwing acorns at them like the nutter they are. Hopefully the storm that’s coming will drive them away…hopefully…

ok but seriously

What I Expected When Starting D&D: Epic battles, awesome character interaction, badass spellcasting, all that thing Critical Role had made me daydream of.

What Actually Happened: Terrible orc puns, the rogue trying to squirrel out gold for services she never even offered every 20 minutes, our paladin gaining “proficiency” in face-palming, the cleric somehow squirreling out even MORE money than the rogue, and me, the wizard, answering, “I’m the garden-gnome variety” bc I fucking panicked when our paladin asked me about my home life.



I mean… I can kinda see Lapis living in nature, but then again we don’t know much about her to make conclusions about her tastes and personality.

Steven how would she even make squirrels pets?

How would she cook the acorn pie?

Steven she’s not a Disney princess.

I was gonna make fun of how excited Steven is but then I remembered, Lapis doesn’t know anything about the Earth. For her, this is all new and exciting.

Good jub lil buddy.

Yeah Lapis, our planet can be pretty rad sometimes.

Youtube Witches

Listed below are many of the amazing witches who’s videos provide their own personal beliefs and practices.They are many of whom i consider mentors and have influenced my practices tremendously. Check them out!


Lovely woman and witch who knows a lot about what she does. Very inspirational and is a follower of the Goddess Hekate. She encourages the powerofyour intent and the ability to follow your own self and intuition. Her channel has a plethora of videos on different topics concerning magick and even vlogs that shows her beautiful family. She has a fear of squirrels but that’s a long crazy story. Overall, very kind and not opposed to communicating with her followers.


Just as her name says, she’s a a bright ray of sunshine. very positive and kind in her videos. Very educational and just a total joy to watch. Her videos could fix even the worst of days with her bright personality.


Follower of the wiccan path. Very lovely individual with a lot of help and guidance to offer. Her videos range from magick, witchcraft, and wicca, to poetry and original writings.


Beautiful person and very inspirational. Her videos range from witchcraft and magick to just shooting the shit and having a chat. Just like Sunshine her videos can cheer up the gloomiest of people.

House Of Conjure:

Again, another beautiful lady. Practitioner of hoodoo and conjure. Her videos aren’t very long but do contain a nice bit of information. She and ladyGraveDancer do a little talk show on their channels which involves great talks and at the same time a lot of laughter.


Gabrielle has recently stopped providing information her practice which is completely understandable. She still has previous videos with information on her beliefs and practices. Topics range from luciferianism to just stopping in to check up on her followers. The type of person to sit down and have a cup of tea with and just talk the day away.


Ordained high priestess in Santeria. She provides information on candle magick and other vast topics. Very pleasant to watch and very knowledgeable. 

Madame Pamita:

Practitioner of Hoodoo and gives advice on how to perform candle magick and other forms of conjure. In depth and has a wonderful energy about her.


Pleasant to watch and has many interesting idea’s and topics. Provides information on dark energy/ matter and it’s place within her practice.


Shows of her beautiful collections of crystals and crystal creations. Skilled artisian and her crafts range from jewelry to wonderfully crafted tools for witches.

Joey Morris:

Joey is a daughter of The Morrigan. She has videos that discuss her relationship with The Morrigan and the beautiful aspects about The Morrigan as well. She owns a shop which she uses her channel to introduce her new items available. Her personality and energy is very calming ad wacky at some times and is overall very pleasant.

All of these amazing witches are who i watch daily and jump every time i get the notification that a new video has been posted. I’m sure i’m missing some very lovely witches and i will compile a second list as soon as i can.

Much love to you all!

listen if a dude starts quizzing you about superheros and comic book shit to see if ur a “fake nerd girl” just be like “who would win in a fight squirrel girl or (literally anyone)” bc guess what the answer is always squirrel girl she can kick anyones ass remind him squirrel girl could kick his faves ass she kicked dr dooms ass, wolverines ass even thanos got his ass kicked by squirrel girl


Where the fuck have you been? Just bailed Monica out of jail. She let Carl play bumper cars with a Buick– So, you know Monica spent all the squirrel-fund money? I wouldn’t have even had the cash to bail her out if I didn’t return a bunch of dolls I found in Debbie’s room. The first rule you learn in this house, you hide the goddamn money– For fuck’s sake, she tried to get Ian to enlist.

One of my favourite things about Raimundo is how he occasionally just drops into frame. I mean look at this:

He just drops down like ‘Hello friends, I am ready to fight!’. That and what was he even doing up there. The squirrels were on the ground Rai. Were you just floating around chilling and occasionally punting a fire breathing squirrel out of a tree?

Also when he scares the shit out of Clay.

Just background Rai kinda just dropping in to give his pal a heart attack.

Here, have another one.