not enough tumblr love for this series

And maybe love isn’t always a kiss on a forehead but rather a hug and a kiss that say’s “I’m sorry let’s not fight” than spilling words out to each other in the heat of the moment that you would regret later. Maybe it isn’t about buy her diamond ring’s and lace underwear excepting her to wear it for you later that night. Maybe it’s leaving her pill bottle next to her phone with a glass of water as a reminder that thing’s can get better with a little help. Maybe love isn’t about giving fifty fifty each way, maybe it’s about giving 100 when that person greatest demons come to visit for the day. Maybe love isn’t about writing about how beautiful her body was the first time you saw it and how you’d have never seen anything more raw and natural. Maybe it’s about writing how she makes your soul dance in the rain of sunshine and how it also makes your heart ache from time to time when both sides are being stubborn. Maybe it’s not about a vow that you both swear to keep but a understanding that sometimes things don’t work out and sometimes they do. Maybe it’s not about saying I love you every second of every day but showing that love in the simplest of ways like “call me when you get home so I know you’re safe.” Maybe, just maybe you’ve been looking for love in all the wrong places and maybe even the wrong people. Maybe the kind of love that you are so hell bound on searching for is taking your pills without no one reminding you or dying your hair the color of the sky because that’s the only time when you feel closest to your real self. Maybe the kind of love that you are searching for in another person is already right in front of you when you look in the mirror. Maybe that’s where you’ll find your one true love. Maybe it isn’t a her or him or someone but a you, maybe just maybe you can find the love that you long for in yourself and maybe just maybe if you’re lucky enough you’ll also meet a person who makes your heart dance in the rain. Maybe that’s what love is, loving yourself or maybe it’s not. I don’t know but when I do I’ll let you know.
—  Deeply Feeling Series

anonymous asked:

(1) Hi Viria, I hope you are well :) I am sorry to bother you with this, but it's really important for me, and I wanted to share it with you. It'll be long and kinda sad at first, but it gets better, trust me. I'm a 23 y/o latina art student. When I was a baby, my mom left my dad and remarried, and my little sister was born when I was 10. She is the light of my life and I love her to no end. Our mom, however, had had and undiagnosed and untreated mental illness for years, and one day

(2) during a severe crisis she hurt us really bad. I was 12. She was taken away to a psychiatric hospital and Child Services prohibited her from ever getting near us again. Since then, I have been taking care of my little sister and practically raised her while my stepdad worked 2-3 shifts to afford our education and payment for my mom’s hospital, living and meds. He was always working and I took full responsibility for my sis. As you can imagine, even though I loved her with my life, 

 (3) the situation was very stressful and exhausting for me. By the time I was 15, I looked every bit a teen mom. One particularly hard night when my little sis had been crying about mom, I couldn’t sleep. So I turned to something that calmed me: the Harry Potter books. I read them online, and somehow ended up searching for HP fanart. That was the night I stumbled upon your DA account. And boy, did I love it! I know back in 2011 your skills weren’t what they are now,

(4) but I was blown away, and what’s more, I felt inspired to draw. I had never tried to make any art before; it wasn’t “my thing”. But that night, you inspired me. As time went by I kept drawing and closely followed your improvements. Your art was so relaxing, calming, and inspiring, that it really helped me during hard times. You kinda dragged me into all the cool fandoms, series and animes, and I found life to be far more bearable with so many awesome things to love and think about.

(5) Your DA and Tumblr were some sort of safe sapce for me. It always cheered me up and gave me joy, peace, inspiration. When the time came, I choose to study Art at college. It turned out you did too, and you kept up all the good stuff in your blogs. Weirdly enough, I kept feeling a sense of pride whenever you improved and got better. I was so strange that you were so so far away and didn’t even know I existed but you helped me so much.

(6) I got accepted at my country’s top University to study Fine Arts; I moved cities and took my sister with me; she grew into a wonderful, sensible, peaceful child, and her presence motivated me to be the best version of myself, while your art motivated me to keep expanding my academic/artistic abilities. Life was hard but good at college, and I had incredible opportunities. I am graduating this spring with an advanced studies specialization, and was recently hired to work at

(7) of a movie. It’s like living a dream. And tonight, just a couple hours ago, the most incredible thing happened. After dinner, my little sis came to me, phone in hand, and said “Hey Ana, you won’t believe what I found. There’s this girl who makes amazing art of all the fandoms you’re in. Her drawings are gorgeous and she has so many!”. She showed me your tumblr. I wanted to laugh and cry. She was amazed when she saw your old drawings and your current ones; speechless.

(8) She fell in love, and you know what? Immediatly after, she went to draw. She’s been doing so the past hours. I know this was offensively long, but Viria, I needed to thank you for what you did. Your art has always been SO much more than just digital drawings of fictional characters. It’s been the source of peace, safety and joy that so many of us crave. You have wonderfully impacted and influenced many people across the world with everything you make.

(9) I am so glad you exist and do what you do; you gave me the hobby that grew into my passion, thaught me so much, inspired me beyond belief and most of all, you helped make life more bearable. And now, you have made the same for my sister. Viria, the world wouldn’t be the same without you. You are truly a magnificent light among us, and for your existence and passion I’ll be forever grateful. Thank you, and may you always live the beautiful, happy, awesome life you deserve. Thank you.

I’m not even kidding I was sitting here peacefully chewing sandwich and by the end of these messages the sandwich was too salty so was my cappuccino I swear you got me to tears and now i’m just like

I’m a shaking emotional leaf but thank you so much for writing me! It means so much and i’m so touched and i just wish you and your sister all the best of luck, though it seems like you don’t really need it. Thank you, and I hope life goes wonderfully for you and your family! 

Please Buy the Korra Comic

Hate being a shill. Cause I’m all for reading scans of comics online. But I would like to provide a little lesson on comics for those not in the know. Comics are probably the shakiest form of entertainment media. Movies video games, music all mainstream sorts of properties expect to push numbers in the millions. Remember a few years back when Square Enix said the tomb raider reboot under preformed when selling “only” 5 million copies in the opening weeks?

Comics are another story entirely. I’m using numbers from last December, but know that they’re pretty standard. The top selling issue last December was Justice League: Suicide Squad at 179,000 issues sold. The rest of the top ten sellers average about 100,000 with # 10 selling 85,000. When we get down to #100 in the top sellers list, we’ve fallen t0 27,000. And below the top one hundred sellers, issues take a nose dive with #200 selling just 8,000 copies. More people will see a movie in the theater in my city in one day then pick up that comic.

And here’s the thing. Of those top 100, sellers, over a third of them were number #1 issues. It’s a sad truth in comics, that the highest selling issue will almost always be the first of a series. After that, it is a guaranteed loss. A series will sell progressively less and less issues as time goes on. You know the saying? Two things in life are certian, death and taxes. Well a third could be comics sell less and less as they go.

Now, Last Airbender, seems do have done well for itself. But I would like to stress how vital it is that the people who are interested in a comic, go out to read it. Fans of the Legend of Korra we know what it’s like to be screwed by the executive’s and studios. If dark horse see’s the numbers of the Korra comics dip, or not meet their expectations, they may not hesitate to end the series. The folks in charge, aren’t dumb. Sites like tumblr show the following of any given IP, and they will expect to get a reasonably large following for this series. 

So please. I beg of thee fans! Do not, wait for the scans of the pages to appear on the internet. If you are able, buy the series when it comes out. If you are unable to because of money reasons, try to spread the awareness for the series. Do what you can. Show the moneyed powers that we care and that this series will be loved with a fanbase devoted enough to make it worth their while to keep the series alive for years to come. I made a post about this awhile ago, but it is a dream of mine to ten years from now look on my bookshelf and see five or more omnibus’s of the Legend of Korra. I’m thirsty for that dork and her engineer and friends and I know thousands of others are too. So to be cheesy, YOU HAVE THE POWER. KEEP KORRA GOING!!!

And you don’t make me feel impossible. You don’t make me feel like I’m impossible to love and I cannot thank you enough for that. You could of loved anyone on this planet and you picked me and I cannot say how grateful I am for that. That you picked me. Me. Me. You picked me to love and I think that is the most magical thing ever. You picked to love my laugh and my obsession with animals. You picked me and you picked to love my love for books and all things nature. You picked to love my four year old boy laugh and my harshness when the world get’s to hard. You picked to love me and my pills that I take every day to battle clouds that seem to always follow me. You picked to love my scarred skin from night’s when everything got to much and you picked to love my stubbornness on what I want to eat for dinner. You picked to love my small hands and my small personality which you make me feel like it’s big and beautiful. You picked to love my 4 pm I love you’s and my 2 am I don’t want to be here’s. You picked to love my love for animals and homeless people and my uncontrollable laugh when you make a stupid joke. You picked to love my long brown hair and my dull brown eyes. You picked to love my love hate relationships with my mother and my sad life story. You picked to love me and you not only have made me feel loved, you have made me feel like I was beautiful when all I have ever felt my entire life was unworthy. You showed me that I did not need to live in a world of black and white and you opened my heart to color again and I cannot thank you enough for that but I’d like to start with our little “forever”. I hope you do too.
—  Thank you for loving me when I do not love myself. // Deeply Feeling Series 
✾✾ fic recs ✾✾

it’s fanfiction writer’s appreciation day so i wanted to make a super short fic recs list; hopefully of stories you haven’t been able to read yet !! ofc this list doesn’t encompass the entirety of the fics i’ve read or adored, but i wanted to spread some more love today :’’) 


:: plage - fluff, smut, swimmer!jin - @mint-tape

i really, really like elle’s stories bc she’s so creative with her plots and concepts. recently, i read plage and fell in love with seokjin all over again :’’) i really recommend you check out her other works as well !!

:: the discovery - smut, dom!jin - @noona-la-la-la

this is maybe the first story i’ve read from them, but it still remains one of my favorite jin fics ! what i like the most about all their stories i’ve been able to read is the realistic approach they take when describing a relationship’s progression :’)


:: better place - fluff, hogwarts!au - @workofteaguk

out of all of traci’s works i think i’ll always like this one the best. i loved the build up which made one of my favorite tropes  (friends to lovers trope) so believable :’’)

:: lost in paradise - fluff, smut, angst, summer faerie!au - @fireheart-namjoon

this is the first work of gi’s that i read, but i was instantly hooked and fell in love :’’) i love their writing style and the descriptions especially !! i recommend you read everything else on their masterlist too :D


:: costume - fluff, hybrid!au - @xhixtape

i remember reading this story before i had even joined tumblr. it’s still one of my favorite hoseok stories :’) i just found their relationship so cute.

:: kisses of carmine (ft. taehyung) - smut, angst, vampire!au - @cosykims

maybe one of my favorite series ? so much effort was put into the writing and the world building, it really sucks you in !! i can’t recommend this series enough tbh


:: and you as well must die - smut, murderer!namjoon - @pleaseseokjin

ah i really love this author. they’re one of the few authors i was familiar with before i joined tumblr, and i love their writing style and their plots. actually i love all of their stories, but i want to recommend this one specifically :’’)

:: passionfruit - smut, college!au - @rapmonluv

i’ve only started reading this series today, but i’m hooked :’D and i love everything i’ve read so far on her masterlist, and i can’t wait to get through the rest !!


:: metanoia - fluff, hogwarts!au - @taesthetes

i wasn’t sure which fic of cat’s i should pick bc i’m in love with everything she’s ever written, esp the universe of us ! but metanoia was the first fic i’ve ever read from her and the one that started our friendship, so it holds a special place in my heart 

:: the ocean - fluff, angst, mermaid!jimin - @chinnychimchim

i might have not told you, but this is actually my favorite story of yours i’ve read so far :’) i really recommend addie’s fics bc you get a little bit of everything. angst? dystopian? soulmate? fluff? gross amounts of sex? this is ur girl !!


:: salt and shadow (ft seokjin) - smut, incubus!tae - @floralseokjin

well you already know this one is my favorite :’’) jordan writes so many good fics, with original plotlines and relatable oc’s, so i recommend you read all her fics - if you haven’t already ! 

:: across the multiverse (4) - fcking angst, greek mythology!au - @gukvory

even though i’ve enjoyed every piece of yours i’ve been able to read, there are times when i think back to this fic and cry a little !! i’m really in awe at how you can convey so much through so little words;;

✾ JK

:: orange tulips - angst, fluff, soulmate!au, reincarnation!au - @kainks

i’ll always love this story so much :’’) i love reincarnation/soulmate fics so much, and this one will always have a soft spot in my heart !! ofc i rec all their other fics as well

:: love like you (ft seokjin) - angst, royalty!au, mxm - @wenotes

this story still breaks my heart dlfkjdfkj i’m still so emotional !! i know unrequited love fics always hurt but i’m always drawn to them for some reason ? 


i love every writer mentioned, as well as the amazing others i read from and follow !! i’m looking forward to discovering new fics as well :’’) you are the ones who inspire me and help me grow as a writer, so thank you everyone !!

My Korrasami (TLOK finale) “funny” story

I don’t know how many people are still following my blog but I feel the need to share this with you, because Tumblr is the right place for it. Always.

Years ago I stopped watching Legend of Korra at the end of first season because I. Fucking. Hate. Love. Triangles.
As huge fan of ATLA I decided to wait for it to end and see if it was worth enough of my attention, and after some years… Korrasami happened.
I’m not gonna talk about the amazing feeling of POWER I felt that night when tumblr exploded because of it, and how I screamed and laughed even if I didn’t follow the series.
What I want to tell you, is how I started watching Korra last saturday and how I finished it all in one week (I know, it’s not impressive, but I work 8 hours per day now, so.)
I’m gonna give you a quick idea of what’s going on right now, then:

- I am utterly, out-of-space, crazy in love with Korra.
- Asami is a fucking badass.
- Bolin is my precious baby.
- This show is the most fucking feminist show ever.
- I don’t hate Mako, but he truly needs to improve is fucking relationship skills (meh)
- I have a total unconditional respect for Bryan and Michael.


When I watched the finale (even if I have seen billions of gifsets during my last year in tumblr), I imagined my reaction would have been a normal one, I mean… I knew it.

Oh boy was I wrong. 

I cried for 45 minutes, I watched that scene 10 times, until I couldn’t look at it anymore for the heartache. I cried and whipered “no, it can’t happening, this cannot be real.” Like I couldn’t believe it myself even tho I already knew it.

I physically felt my inner child crawling up from my memories, from the places I was hurt the most in the past, and crying with me. I felt all the frustration and the memories of why being gay is so beautiful but at the same time so exhausting, it was like my brain couldn’t believe I was watching something that was about


without queerbating, without shitty compromises or fights, in a animated show nonetheless.

So I cried for 45 minutes and then I got a panic attack because my emotions were too much. It was like opening a gate and let the water flow and crush everything. It wasn’t just happiness, it was also sadness in realizing how much pain I felt and I repressed becuase of the shit we have to put up with every day of our life. It was so overwhelming that I had to take a day off work, and I think I know that it took me so much to watch Korra because I knew it would have such a huge impact on me.

But since that day (two days ago) I feel strange, like something changed within me and I just can’t understand how a scene so simple and short can be so powerful and better than a lot of love stories I’ve read and seen before.

I don’t know how they did it but maybe (I bought all the artbooks already and read some of the notes at the end) it is beause the writers treat us like people, and not just like a rating number.

It’s such a power feeling. I still feel like crying if I think about it.

Sorry for the rant but thanks if you read it all,

“Can You Feel The Love Tonight ?” // Harry Hook x Reader (Daughter of Scar)

Hey hey hey ! This is my first OS on tumblr, and the first Harry Hook x Reader of a short serie. Thanks for reading/liking/leaving a comment/everything. I’m sorry if there any mistake - English isn’t my first language. Hope you’ll enjoy this one ! xoxo

Summary : You are best friend with Harry Hook, who immediatly sees that you had a bad day…


There’s a calm surrender to the rush of day
When the heat of the rolling world can be turned away
An enchanted moment and it sees me through
It’s enough for this restless warrior just to be with you

“Y/N ! Wait ! Y/N !”

You heard his steps onto the ground, then you felt his hand around your wrist. You tried to keep walking and to not paying attention to the young pirate, but he didn’t let you go. You finally stopped to turn round in front of him.

“Please, Harry ! I’m fine, leave me alone now !”

“No, you’re not. If you were, you hadn’t yelled at me like that.”

Harry, the son of captain Hook, was your childhood best friend. You two were still really close, but now he spent most of his time with Uma, her captain, and the rest of her crew.

You had to see him tonight. This day wasn’t the best of your life, and you were in a such bad mood that you had yelled at him when he had started to flirt with you, like he always does. And then you ran away until he caught you.

“I don’t want to talk about that.”

“Bad day, uh ? Alright, love. You don’t have to say anything. There, hug me.”

You let him wrapping his arms around you. Your head was against his chest, and you could hear his heartbeat.

And can you feel the love tonight? It is where we are
It’s enough for this wide-eyed wanderer that we got this far
And can you feel the love tonight? How it’s laid to rest
It’s enough to make kings and vagabonds believe the very best

The sun was slowly disappearing. You knew your dad was gonna be mad at you if you went back home too late, but you didn’t care. He had never been a good father, you hated him, and the only thing you wanted now was to cuddle with Harry forever. You wanted to cry, to let go all the things you had kept for you all thoses years on the Isle.

“What’s wrong, Y/N ?” Harry asked camly. His hand was playing with your hair.

“I’m tired, Harry. Tired of being evil and of not being evil enough. I’m sick of this place, of those horrible people I live with, my father first.”

The truth was you wanted a peaceful life. You were jealous of you ex-best friend, Evie, who left you a few weeks ago to go to Auradon with Mal, Jay and Carlos. You wanted to go there too, with your friends, and lived a wonderful life such as in fairytale. You hated being the villain, daughter of a villain. You would love acting as nice as you really were. But you were the child of Scar, you had to be as cruel and nasty as him.

“Am I a such horrible person ?” Harry laughed.

“No, you’re the only one who makes me happy here.”

You bit your lip when you realised what you just said. Harry released you to look at you, but you couldn’t stare at him. What was he imagining ? Did he understand that after all these years of friendship with him, you had fell for him ?

There’s a time for everyone, if they only learn
That the twisting kaleidoscope moves us all in turn
There’s a rhyme and reason to the wild outdoors
When the heart of this star-crossed voyager beats in time with yours

The night was here. And you, you were still in Harry’s arms, his eyes looking straight into yours.

“You know what, Y/N ? Me too. I feel happier when I’m with you.”

You blushed as his hand started to stroke your cheek. His other arm pull you closer to him in a tighter hug.

“Harry ? I-I have something to tell you. You… I mean, I really… you are…”

But he didn’t let you finish. His lips met yours and he kissed you. Harry Hook. Was. Kissing. You. When you felt his mouth was about to left yours, you kissed him back, your eyes closed. His lips were salty, and you loved that. He kissed you like you were the only thing in the world that mattered for him. He softly bit your lip as he put his hand on your neck. Your wrapped your arms around his, your fingers running in his dark hair.

“I love you, Hook” you wishpered against his lips and he smiled to you.

“I love you too, darlin’.”

And can you feel the love tonight? It is where we are
It’s enough for this wide-eyed wanderer that we got this far
And can you feel the love tonight? How it’s laid to rest
It’s enough to make kings and vagabonds believe the very best
It’s enough to make kings and vagabonds believe the very best

An ENFP Gone "Wrong”

I’ve noticed some general online frustration (and had a few conversations with various ENFPs that expressed annoyance) that there aren’t really any good examples of what happens when an ENFP “goes wrong” in film.

Psychotic ESFPs? Tons of them. ENFPs? Not so much.

So what does it LOOK LIKE when an ENFP is morally questionable?

I know there’s a ton of Closer fans on tumblr, so don’t get me wrong –  I love Brenda Leigh Johnson from The Closer. Love isn’t even a strong enough word. She is arguably one of the greatest TV characters since Columbo. She’s fabulous, but she is also a good example of what can happen when a FiTe decides to go “off the book” and “exact her own justice.”

Numerous times throughout the series, Brenda runs up against criminals that could get off on contingencies, or that she simply cannot PROVE did something truly heinous. Rapists, molesters, murderers, drug dealers. And, I can think of several instances where she decided to go outside the system and ensure the person was PUNISHED for their crimes, because she deemed it worthy of punishment, regardless of what the law said.

Two instances in particular stand out to me – in one, she chased a pedophile to Mexico, where she wasn’t allowed to arrest him, because he was outside of US jurisdiction. So what she did instead was got him to confess to his crime in front of the Mexican police – and because the underage girl he raped and murdered was from Mexico, they immediately arrested him (sickened at his crime, she took pleasure in telling him that Mexican prisons are much harder on criminals than State prisons – and when he begged her to take him back to the US, she refused, and left him to suffer).

In another, a man murdered several people at a gas station; the gas station was in “gang territory,” but “off bounds,” and he violated the rules. Since he had immunity for his crime (he was a witness against someone else, and the DA’s office “stupidly” offered him immunity), Brenda could do nothing about the murder – but she could drive him home, drop him off, and let the gang know about his actions, which made him a target. He wound up dead. In her mind, that was justice. He deserved to “pay for his crime,” and did.

In all these instances, her sense of moral indignation overruled what the law allows – and she didn’t care about the consequences nor the moral implications of her own actions because she saw it as “justice.” (Nor did she care about seeing them suffer for a long time; she wanted to ensure they never did it again - Te: stop them, forever.) Her Fi decided on a black and white moral code (what he did is unforgivable) and she used her Te to make it happen (in one instance, playing the Mexican criminal justice system, and in the other, ordering her subordinates to leave the man behind, ignoring their moral protests - she pulled rank on them, and forced them to commit a crime). If the law could not get them, she would let someone else do it – and in both instances, she ignored their appeals for her sympathy.

This could easily, in another ENFP character, become a villain, who is either controlling people, exacting their own form of justice, or committing morally dubious actions in order to fulfill their own sense of righteous rage – an EXFP villain is frightening, because their evil is often based in a sense of “I know what is right, and you do not, and I will PUNISH your sins” (see ESFP Daenarys in Game of Thrones as a good example; her form of “justice” is just as cruel and merciless as the slavers she replaced; she is in very great danger of becoming a tyrant).

Fi is an extremely black and white moral function; in a true villain, it can be totally immune to sympathy for its victims. Te has a habit, in any villain, of becoming a tyrannical force – of exacting their authority in such a way that it oppresses people, uses their power for nefarious ends, or is willing to sacrifice other humans either for a personal goal / gain or out of a warped sense of moral superiority and self-righteousness (bad Fi).

Unlike an ENTP villain, who wants to create chaos for its own sake “to see what might happen if I do this…” an ENFP villain will want to PUNISH – not to torture someone just to feed off their pain (that is bad Fe) but to make them pay for their sins. Te is often most interested in STOPPING something – and that may include enforcing their own moral code upon the masses (and punishing those severely who resist) or just … killing the problem.

Imagine, if you are an ENFP (or any other type, really) what kind of a villain you would be, if you acted on those enraged thoughts of moral indignation at the deeds committed in this world (someone should just kill that person… they should have every torture inflicted on them that they inflicted on that kid/animal…) – the moment of hearing about someone raping and murdering a little girl, and escaping justice. What lengths would you go to, and what would you DO about it, if you had no moral code of your own that prohibited murder and allowed your rage to fester? And what if you had the POWER to make anything happen that you wanted to make happen? Would your Te kick in and “enforce” your moral code on others… through violence?

In Ne/Te looping in particular, how would you stay “one step ahead” of the law and field off potential problems? Manipulate your way out of situations? Ensure you didn’t get caught?

There is your ENFP villain.

- ENFP Mod

The most annoying thing about fandoms on Tumblr is when there’s blogs dedicated to hating the creators.

No seriously, they supposedly LOVE the game/show/comic/series but the creator is shit and deserves death. Oh yeah and spamming the tags so that fans can see their bullshit.

And the reasons for hating said creators are so petty:

Said shit in the past and even though they apologized for it it’s “not good enough”

Don’t support a ship

Aren’t “diverse” enough

Wrote a character “wrong”

Don’t support a headcanon/proved a headcanon wrong in canon

Like honestly can all these anti-creator blogs fuck off and get a life? Shit make your own content if you hate it so much but leave the creators and fans alone.

anonymous asked:

Headcanons for being a slightly older (maybe 16ish???) Damian's first love??? your work is so cute and I love it so much!!! 💕

Whoa, suddenly received quite a few requests for Damian and Alfred too! Will get to working on those soon! I also have a few more to work through too! I am also nearing a 100 posts on this tumblr (as of this post, we are 5 posts away from 100 posts!) and I feel like I might post the second part to ‘Five Times They Pretended and One Time They Didn’t’ or post another completely different series! We shall see!

Hope this was alright enough for you! (If it wasn’t, send another one in and I’ll whip you up a new one!) Thank you for requesting!

Damian isn’t a big fan of PDA. The most he would do is just stand really close to his s/o when they are in public and the occasionally, letting his s/o hold on to his arm when they are afraid they might get separated from Damian (because this has happened on multiple occasions)

Which leads to Damian holding hands with his s/o. He gets shy about this so if his s/o asks him about it, Damian will probably just drop his s/o’s hand like hot potato. If his s/o is otherwise pretty content, Damian just worries in his head: what if his hand is too sweaty? But his s/o probably just thinks it’s super adorable for worrying about things like those, not that his s/o will tell him.

Damian probably dislikes being called adorable or cute, especially from his s/o. He might want his s/o to think of him as manly or handsome – those two he will accept but not adorable or cute. So his s/o might take to calling him ‘adorable’ and ‘cute’ behind his back.

With his s/o, Damian is pretty blunt and honest so whenever his s/o decides to do something out of the blue to surprise him, his s/o can easily tell how Damian is feeling. Mostly from how red his cheeks are and how speechless he becomes. For example, his s/o would probably try to learn the basics of Arabic just so they can talk to Damian in Arabic.

Due to his bluntness / straightforwardness, this means that sometimes Damian can say things that his s/o might not want to hear right at that exact moment. He probably lacks tact too – but he’s working on it so he tries, sometimes. This tends to cause problems with his s/o – though at a later day or sometime during the day, Damian and his s/o will sit down and talk it out.

Though if it is Damian’s fault, Damian will not hesitate to apologize first because he really wants his s/o to know how sincere he is despite his shortcomings.

Despite how he acts out in the public, Damian loves showing his ‘soft’ side once the two of them are either at his s/o’s place, one of the apartments Bruce has set up or even his bedroom in the manor. Like if his s/o wants to hug him, wrap their arms around him or even play with his hair, Damian will let them.

Sometimes Damian even falls asleep to his s/o playing with his hair as he lays his head on their lap. Or Damian falls asleep as he attempts to read with his head pillowed by his s/o’s lap.

Something I wanted to get off my Chest.

This is something I really want to get off my chest and I don’t know how else to start since I usually am not very good with introductions in general but I think I’ll start with how I felt over the years and the events that transpired yesterday and a few days ago.

Over the 26 years of my life, I’ve always been the usual kid you see in the block but I think I’m just like any kid who really loves entertainment just as much as everyone else does. Over the course, I grew up loving sci fi and many various stories that really invigorated me to go on adventures together and meet new people. Like I was your stereotypical kid who loved Star Wars, Star Fox, Super Mario Bros and of course anything that was made by Nintendo.

However I really wanted to join within the communities that had a similiar interest as me. Just like any other kid who wanted to be a part of the community for anything. I’ve tried sticking with them but more and more as I grew older I found so much negativity within them. Instead of expressing how much I love this genre, games or make fan made content, all I ever got was hate, troll responses or just plain negative downvotes. Many of which of course made me really sad and felt like I will never contribute anything to any fan community. So i felt isolated.

Soon afterwards, I just went in the dark, rather than talk or discuss with anyone online, I just sat there just playing games all day, do the usual homework from school but at the same time, I felt kind of isolated. Even if I joined any school clubs I usually stick to it for one day and kind of leave. So even though I was glad I didn’t have to deal with the amount of negativity, it also made me sad and lonely and I felt very isolated from many people who already have connections.

When I first saw Xenoblade X back in 2013, I thought ooh cool, mechs and regular on ground ARPG combat. Can’t wait to try it. Little did I know this would change my life around.

When I finished beating the game for the first time, I loved it so much. The story, characters, the world of mira, the cutscenes and the amount of fun sidequests that were available. I didn’t expect to fall in love with it so much. At first I thought man I should see what others think of it. Of course, to my big surprise it was a very mixed reaction from most people I noticed and it had tons of excessive bashing that I felt was unnecessary or it’s one of those it doesn’t cater to my specific niche case scene. It honestly made me feel sad and I thought I would never join back. However there was something I did that I never thought I would do to get people to notice me.

During my playthroughs, I did a lot of video recordings of moments that I loved from the game. I created a bunch of gifs, webm videos, commission artists for drawing Xenoblade X fan arts of my favourite characters and people started to notice this pink shirt meme mim that seems to circulate around. Although I had the usual it’s that guy again, some of them took notice to me and I felt I wanted to meet these people. We quickly became friends and soon I started posting these to tumblr and I feel as cool as the game is, there aren’t enough fan contents cause it’s a niche series. I asked various sources and helps from my friends and I went on to compile stuff like the Party Member banters, making hacks, screenshots, emote gifs of characters that don’t normally have emotes, cross interactions etc.

It of course felt great and I felt very satisfied with the amount of things I’ve contributed but at the same time, it still kind of felt lonely especially when I had to find work and I can’t stick with doing these things all day. It wasn’t until around Feb 17th 2017 when my birthday happened. So many art gifts kept pouring into my feed and I just could not believe it. I just have no words to express how happy I was. I was literally shedding tears at work while doing whatever task or projects my boss wanted me to do but of course I finished them all really early and he let me off early. Something that burst in me, I started crying. 

I just don’t know. It was such a wonderful feeling like I’ve accomplished something in my life. It felt like I helped bring a community together and as someone who loves art in general, it just blew my mind. All my friends that I got to know through discord, tumblr, twitter and now even the people from the Japanese Xenoblade X community. It was soooo overwhelming and I can’t thank everyone enough!!! You guys are amazing!! I’m just an ordinary programmer just trying to make a living and I think all you guys together are one amazing people and the Xenoblade X community is such a wonderful community. And of course your love has also motivated to get back into drawing. Something I never thought I would attempt to do again after 15 or so years of not doing because I felt I would never improve but now I’ve been thinking positively about it.

So I would like to say once again thank you to the Xenoblade X community and for giving me back so much over the years. I really hope you’ve guys enjoyed the content that I’ve created and the amount of hours I’ve put into it to make them possible.  I don’t want to name specifics as I feel that would be very bias but for those that I’ve DMed with on my personal time you know who you guys are.  But I would love excessively say thank you to those and the community. You guys are the ones that motivated me to do all these things and I really mean it. So thank you! You guys as a whole are the most wonderful people I’ve ever known and I want to continue to supporting all of you as much as I can. I just…..

Thank you!!!

okay, so an article has been posted about how toxic the ya book community is. it was basically the black witch drama rolled out again after it happened in february(!) i personally see it more as a publicity stunt because why else post an article about something that has happened almost half a year ago? anyway, enough about that. for the people who read this post (thanks for reading):

almost one year ago i told ashley jokingly about my idea to make a youtube/tumblr series about the booklr drama i’ve lived through. she actually loved the idea. so i thought about it more and my plan was to tell what happened without stating any names (it’s unnecessary to say names when the situation is important) but with the intention of analyzing it. what went wrong? why did it start drama? why did it become big? why were people hurt? how can we prevent such an escalation again? how can we learn and evolve from it? what can we do to benefit from it and build a better community out of it? 

i haven’t done it because i was lacking the time and i was already annoyed about the possibility of someone feeling attacked by it and send a mob after me. i have never received hate mail and i don’t want to. i am not here to start drama. i just want to rant about the things that happened and how we can be better than that and build something stronger and better out of it.

in light of the recently published article (and my at least 25 minute long rant ashley ( @sparkylovesbooks) received) this idea came up again.

soooo what do you guys think?


As anyone who’s been following me long enough on Tumblr would know, I really enjoy the Ever After High animated series. I think it’s a really well done digitally animated cartoon from a visual standpoint, with a story that’s surprisingly darker than one would expect from a cartoon about teenage fairy tale characters.

When I found out that the webseries has ended production, I knew I had to create a big fan piece to show my love for the cartoon. I thought about creating a poster, but with my crossover series “Team Teen” ramping into production, I decided having EAH characters appear would be even better. it was really difficult to draw and animate the characters but I’m really happy with the results.

I am really glad I was able to add this series to my crossover. Based on some comments I’ve received however, doing something fun for myself is apparently too much to ask for as a Youtuber.

Click here or on any pic to watch the cartoon!

I don’t want to be in love with you anymore

We settled down on your bedroom floor
After you pulled me through a crowd of bottled blondes and flannel shirts
I wanted you and you wanted me
Not because I thought I could fix you
Not because you thought you could save me
But because we both knew it was useless.
Just to be near you, watching the paint peel from the windowpane was enough for me.
You were enough for me in a way that was never fulfilling in the long run.
I guess that’s how young love goes though
We want what we know is going to kill us and we never think twice about it
Not even with your hands around my neck.


Hi there!

I am Lerato D Males, well-known as LarryxTatum, an emerging photographer from South Africa. I am a self-taught photographer, with a love for fashion, portraitures and food. I would like to share this photo series titled, “I Shot Sleeping Beauty In My Bathtub”. This photo series simply signified how much willingness goes a long way. Sometimes as photographers, we rush to have the best equipment or the best studio. However, just starting with what you have can be more than enough to create magic, and this image is living proof of that. Who knew one cup of milk in your bathtub would create such beauty!

Here’s a link to my portfolio for more of my work :): /

Thank you!

Feigning The Connection

Prompt: You seem so invincible. But just touch you and you’ll wince. You have secrets and trust no one. You’re the perfect example of betrayal. Because anyone you’ve ever trusted broke you. Thrust into a new world, will you be able to stay alone, or will Bellamy work his way in?



A/N: So here we are! The season finale of season three, and I just wanna say I absolutely loved writing this season. It was so much fun and I can’t thank you all enough for the amazing support you’ve all given me, every chapter! It warms my heart and i’m so glad you all requested to start this series because I feel it’s really helped me branch out, my tumblr blog to get out there more and for my writing to grow :) I can’t wait to get started on season four!

THIS IS IMPORTANT FOR STORYLINE: There is a lot of italics used in this story so I want to explain. When reader is being forced to take the chip, italics means ALIE is speaking but of course reader doesn’t hear or see ALIE, so I put it in italics.

When the battle thing is going on and reader is choking Bellamy all the little stories italics are flashbacks to previous chapters. Except this time they are in Bellamy’s POV which you never read, you only read those exact same scenes in *your* POV. So I wanted it to be like Bellamy is reminiscing on his past with reader so he is thinking back on pivotal moments of their relationship.

Thank you!

I hope you all enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. Send me a little comment in the ask section or leave it below on what you thought of this chapter. It doesn’t have to be long, I appreciate every single comment I receive and telling me just helps inspire me to write it more frequently.

AGAIN, remember if you’d like me to continue this series, just leave a little comment or an ask letting me know. I will NOT continue the series if no one wants me to.

Pairing: Bellamy x Reader

Based off of: The 100 03x15 and 03X16

Warnings: torturing, force and spoilers.

Tag’s List: @super-river-walker - @deathofthethrones - @dontstopxx - @chebz - @isabellaskyliner - @jeppthatsme - @sarita-villa - @jedibookmasterofnorta - @hoesugh - @wsternhaikus - @doctorwhoandrory - @claudsgodz
want to be featured on my tag’s list? message me letting me know.

Originally posted by stilinskikissme

“Rover’s almost charged. We need to pack up. We’ll be home soon.”

“Then what, run away?” Clarke asked, finally stopping her pacing. Sighing, you placed your hand against the front of the rover, looking over at Clarke. Bellamy came around the side, shaking his head at Clarke. “We’re not running away, Clarke. We need to regroup with the others, find another way to defeat–”

“There is no other way,” Clarke interrupted, raising her voice. “We need to find a night-blood. We need to unlock the flame. It’s the only way to stop ALIE.” Taking a deep breath, you jumped off the front of the rover, knowing Clarke wasn’t going to quit anytime soon. You understood her point of view, but at this moment in time you had no night-blood, you had no other solution, you had nothing.

“What do you expect us to do, Clarke?” Jasper asked incredulously. “Walk into random villages asking for their night-bloods?”

“If that’s what it takes.”

Shaking your head, you turned to Clarke. “No, Clarke. We have no night-blood. We have no other solution other than what Bellamy suggested.” You pressed, snarling your lip in confusion. “That’s not how it works.”

“If ALIE can find us on Luna’s rig, then she can find us anywhere.” Octavia added, “I won’t help you destroy another innocent grounder village.” 

Clarke took a step forward; “if we don’t find another night-blood, there won’t be any grounder villages. Or a home for us to go back to.” Taking a deep breath, you took a step backwards in frustration.

“That’s all the more reason we need to go there and make sure our friends are okay.” Bellamy snapped. When she looked back at you, you only shook your head, making it clear you didn’t agree with her. She did the same with the rest, receiving the same answer. Taking a breath, she put on a facade of calm, nodding before walking past you four.

“She’ll be fine. Just let her cool off.”

Jumping out the back of the rover, you sighed, happy to be back in Arkadia and to see your friends were okay. Stepping out before Clarke, you walked around the rover, finding Raven limping over to you all. “We were getting worried.” She smiled, but as the rest filed out of the rover, her smile fell. “Where’s Luna?”

“Luna said no,” Octavia explained. Taking a deep breath, you offered Raven a shrug when she looked over at you. 

“Who the hell is this?” Harper asked and you turned to find Roan, the man Clarke and Bellamy had captured walking up behind you. His presence had been unexpected, but you hadn’t said anything as it seemed Clarke had a plan in mind. She also seemed to know him a bit more than any of you did, and despite everything, you did trust her judgement.

“He’s Ice Nation,” Bryan spat.

“King of Ice Nation actually,” Clarke corrected. “And he’s our way into Polis.”

“Let’s go, your highness.” Bellamy instructed, pushing Roan forward slightly. Turning to Bryan and Miller, he ordered them to come along before turning to you. “Y/N, you coming?”

“Yup,” you smiled. You offered Raven a small smile on your way across and she let her hand fall on your shoulder shortly before you continued walking. 

“We’ll take him to lock-up.”

Walking up behind Clarke and Bellamy, you stopped near the door. You didn’t really have much to say to the King of Ice Nation but you weren’t willing to leave him alone, even if Clarke was there, with Bellamy, especially since he was the one who shot him. You also would like to know exactly what the plan was that Clarke had. Kane was in Polis, and you didn’t know if he was okay or not. You needed to find out.

“Sorry about your arm,” Bellamy offered when Clarke and Roan looked at him expectantly. You let a smile slip, shaking your head. 

“Makes us even.” Roan nonchalantly shrugged.

“Like it or not, we need each other,” Clarke informed Roan.

“Cut to the chase, Clarke. You said we both wanted the same thing,” Roan sighed, shifting in impatience. “I want an Ice Nation Commander.”

“And i can give you one.” It made sense. You had no other option for the new Commander and Clarke could use Roan’s help to destroy the chip and ALIE while he got what he wanted. “With this.” Clarke gestured to the chip she’d been carrying this entire time.

“And why would you do that when you know she’s vowed to wipe you out?” Roan asked suspiciously.

“We don’t have a choice,” Clarke cut it short. “This isn’t just our war. The enemy we’re up against is after everyone, including the Ice Nation. The only way to stop her is to get the information off the flame, and the only way to do that is to put it in Ontari’s head.”

“The Ice Nation isn’t afraid,” Roan dismissed.

“You should be,” you cut in, standing up from the wall as Roan’s attention briefly fell on you. “This thing doesn’t care what clan you’re from. It controls people, and it will take over Ice Nation just like it took us over. One person at a time until there is no one left.”

Roan’s eyes narrowed, his eyes falling across the room before they fell back on Clarke.

“It already has Ontari.” Clarke added.

“I’m listening.” Taking a deep breath, you positioned yourself back against the wall. There was nothing more you needed to say.

“We need to disconnect her before she get’s the flame, or we’ll be giving ALIE exactly what she wants. To do that, we have to abduct her from the center of a city filled with thousands of people who’s minds are linked. All of them thinking as one. Whatever one sees, they all see. Whatever one hears, they all hear-”

“I get it,” Roan nodded slowly. He stood as Clarke and Bellamy took a tentative step back, looking at them, he asked; “when do we leave?”

“You don’t have to do this.”

You laughed, turning around to face Bellamy. Shaking your head, you raised an eyebrow; “when have I ever backed down from a fight?”

He shook his head, and you saw the worry flood through his eyes. You hadn’t seen that look in a while and part of you remembered that while this all felt very familiar, it also felt very odd. Pushing back your thoughts, you walked up to him, hesitantly grabbing ahold of his hand. “Besides, you said you needed me by your side, remember?”

Bellamy sighed, “I know-”

“My dad’s in Polis, Bellamy. I won’t sit around knowing he’s in danger or something’s already happened.” Bellamy smiled lightly, nodding. You returned the smile, jumping when Octavia walked through.

“What are we waiting for?”

Pulling your hand away from Bellamy’s grasp, you turned to the rest, steeling yourself for whatever was going to come. “Let’s go,” Bellamy ordered.

Walking up to Monty, you gave him a hug, wishing him luck, just as you did with Jasper and the rest. Stopping before Raven, you paused. You needed to just say it, incase you didn’t make it out of this alive. “I am sorry that I wasn’t there-”

“It’s fine, Y/N.” Raven smiled down at you, and you hesitantly smiled back. Leaning up, you gave her a hug. She squeezed you tight and you relished in it, it might be a while before you see her again. “Good luck,” she whispered to your ear and you nodded, stepping back from the embrace.

Stepping into the rover, you shut the door behind you, smiling at your friends as you pulled away.

“Let’s get ready.”

Nodding to Bellamy’s command, prepping your gun before pressing it against the opened window. Taking a deep breath, you steeled yourself. This was it, this was your one chance and everything was riding on it.

“Are we ever going to be done fighting?” You heard Bryan ask to no doubt Miller. Pausing, you leaned back on your feet, curious as to what they had to say.

“Hell yes,” Miller laughed. “We’re gonna build a house on the lake, and you’re gonna plant corn.” Leaning down onto the heels of your feet, your gaze fell on Octavia as her expression fell. You already knew what she was thinking, it wasn’t hard to tell. Your heart dropped when you looked over at Bellamy.

“Raise chickens,” Bryan laughed. 

Biting your lip, you pushed your gun up again, looking through the view-finder.

“Yeah,” Miller breathed. “And grow old.”

There was silence, and you didn’t dare to stare around you to see what Octavia was feeling or if Bellamy was okay. Instead you focused on looking outside for Clarke and Roan. “Eleven’o’clock,” Bellamy announced and looking you saw Clarke and Roan step into view. “Roan will signal when he sees Ontari. We wait until she’s standing in front of them, and then we launch the gas.”

“They’re gonna be holding their breath, so we gotta move fast.” Bryan explained, tossing the gas to Miller. 

“Anyone who gets in our way, we use nonlethal force,” you stated, looking back at everyone. They nodded in response. “These people are not the enemy. They’re being controlled.”

“The only thing we’re here to kill,” Bellamy spoke, following your order. “Is ALIE. Is that clear?”

A chorus of clears followed, and nodding to Bellamy, you turned back to your gun. “Good.”

You watched Roan and Clarke step forward, reaching the door that Ontari would step through. Roan turned to Clarke, nodding at her as she silently agreed to move forward with the plan. Taking a tentative step forward, Roan raised his hand. “I am Roan, King of Azgeda… and i have what the Commander seeks.” He held up the flame.

With wide eyes you watched as all the people that had been previously kneeling, opened their eyes, standing up before Roan and Clarke. A man stepped towards the two. You don’t know what Roan said to make them all responsive, but you guessed it had something to do with the flame.

“I don’t like what i’m sense, so if she wants it, she can come to me.” Roan informed the man. 

“It’s Jaha.” Bellamy announced and you watched Jaha step up to the two, stopping just before them. Your heart tightened, knowing that this wasn’t exactly how the plan was suppose to go. And something within you told you this wasn’t going to end well. 

“What the hell is he doing here?”

“You see Ontari?” Miller asked.

“No,” you shook your head.

“Hold,” Bellamy ordered Miller and Bryan.

“Hello Clarke,” Jaha greeted, though you couldn’t hear. “Your mother will be so pleased to see you.”

“Who are you?” Roan asked, “where’s Ontari?”

“Not coming out,” your breath quickened. Something wasn’t right. “But you can give the flame to me. I’ll be sure she gets it.” Roan’s hands tightened around the flame and Clarke’s somewhat panicked expression fell over to where you all were.

“Something’s wrong,” Bellamy explained. 

“Your friends in the tunnel can’t help you,” Jaha informed Clarke. Though you couldn’t hear what he was saying, you saw Clarke’s attention snap back over to Jaha and her eyes widen. “Now give me the flame.” The group stepped closer to Roan and Clarke, threateningly.

You winced when Roan suddenly pulled out a knife and pressed Clarke against his chest, the knife now against her throat. “Back up, or she dies.”

You looked away from your gun, turning to Bellamy with wide eyes. Turning to Miller and Bryan, he nodded. “Do it. Do it now.” He rushed. Miller and Bryan went to follow orders before grounders stepped up behind them, pushing them to the ground.

“On your knees, now!” A hand grabbed your shoulder, the other wrapping around your neck as your gun was ripped from your hands. Your were suddenly shoved forward, your chest smacked against the wall as your eyes were able to peer out the window. The grounders behind you kept you pressed against the wall and you could feel a gun press against your back in warning. “You two, against the wall.” Soon enough, both the Blake siblings fell beside you, their bodies pressed against the wall.

With panicked eyes, you looked over at Bellamy. Groaning in pain when you were shoved harder. Something had gone wrong. How had they known about your plan?

“Take this one.” Your heart beat quickened when you realized they were talking about you. You let out a groan, kicking at the man behind you. You weren’t going to let them just take you, especially since you weren’t even sure why they wanted you. Though your struggles were useless as more came through the door, grabbing your arms aggressively. 

“Hey,” you heard Bellamy yell. “Get off of her!”

“Y/N!” MIller called.


With wide, panicked eyes you felt the men and women wrap their arms around your body, pulling you against them as they began dragging you out of the room. Your attention turned to the rest, trying to get back to your friends. You didn’t understand why they were taking just you. You offered nothing and it wasn’t like you knew how to set up the flame. You struggled, kicking your feet out desperately but one of the grounders just back-handed you across the face.

“Bellamy!” You bellowed, trying to reach him. “Let me go, no!”

“Y/N!” Bellamy bellowed and looking back at him through wet eyes, you tried to calm down. But your heart beat was rapidly beating and no matter how hard you struggled, nothing worked. “Where are you taking me?” You asked, but the grounders holding you only ignored you.

You watched Bellamy try to break the grip of the man holding him, only to be shoved harder against the wall. His head smacked against the concrete, and you thought he would’ve stopped. But instead he continued struggling, his eyes falling on you the best they could as you felt fear run through you.

“Let her go! Y/N!”

The last thing you heard before being dragged out of the room was your friends grunting in indignation and Bellamy calling your name.

“You guys missed the part where it’s time to go?”

Looking up from his sister to Murphy, Bellamy shook his head. “We’re not leaving.”

Murphy laughed, shaking his head. “We just saved your lives, why do I think i’m gonna regret that?” 

Taking a step forward, Bellamy walked towards Murphy, worry etching his features. “Clarke’s in trouble-”

“Clarke’s always in trouble.” Murphy interjected.

“Y/N,” Bellamy mumbled, finally catching Murphy’s attention. Pausing Murphy’s smile fell, he hadn’t heard your name or seen you in a long time, just as he hadn’t seen Bellamy. The last time he saw you was before he’d gone off to the City of Light. “Y/N’s in danger. They took her, I don’t know where.”

Miller stepped up, followed by Bryan. “I’m not leaving Y/N behind.”

“None of us are.” Bellamy shook his head, turning back to Murphy. “They took Clarke and the flame to the tower. It’s a safe bet Ontari’s there too. Everything we need to stop ALIE is in the same place. I’m betting Y/N will be there too.” Bellamy swallowed the lump in his throat, all he could in-vision was your fearful face and hear you plea and call his name. He needed to find you.

“If we go up that tower, we won’t be able to fight our way out again.” Octavia warned. 

“If we stop ALIE, we won’t have to.”

Turning to around to Pike, Murphy stared at him questioningly. Sighing, Pike handed Bellamy a hand gun who accepted it without hesitation. Murphy turned back to Bellamy, an unimpressed look on his face. “Up the tower, great.”

“I won’t take the chip.” 

“You will,” Jaha dismissed. You tried to ignore the way your heart beat rapidly increased, tried to ignore the vulnerability you felt with having your wrists restrained. After they dragged you through a few hallways, they’d brought you into a room, tied your wrists up so they were hanging from the ceiling. Your feet were barely able to touch the ground, an increasingly vulnerable position for victims. You could only imagine what was about to happen to you, and none of it you liked.

The minute they’d finished tying your restraints, Jaha had walked in. He’d said nothing but stared at you for a few minutes, watching as you desperately tried to break the ties that kept your wrists up. Nothing worked. No matter how hard you tried. 

Your thoughts flew back to Bellamy and the rest. Were they okay? Had they managed to escape? Was Clarke okay? Your dad? You knew that you’d either die here or take the chip, and you were willing to die yourself if it meant that no one else would suffer and you wouldn’t betray your own people. But something told you that things would go differently. They had something up their sleeve, if Jaha’s confident expression was anything to go by.

“You’ve suffered through a lot, haven’t you, Y/N?”

Biting your lip, you refused to respond to Jaha, knowing he was only trying to trick you. “You’ve also managed to be the cause of a lot of peoples sufferings too.” Clenching your teeth, you glared at Jaha. You’ve never felt such hatred towards him before this point, but you had to remind yourself that he was chipped and clearly wasn’t thinking straight.

“Why not take the chip? Erase the thoughts that plague your mind constantly.” Jaha offered, taking steps towards you. He brought one of his many chips up your eyesight, taunting you with it. Snarling, you shook your head.

“Where’s Clarke?”

“She’s safe,” Jaha shortly answered. 

“She won’t take the chip willingly.”

Suddenly Jaha’s expression changed, and he turned away from you, instead to the doors. “Come in.” Confused, you turned your gaze over to the door, scared to see who would walk through. Your heart leapt through your throat as your father walked through. You wanted to smile at the sight of him, you almost did, but by the way he walked you knew something was wrong. “Dad…?” You called hesitantly.

Kane continued to step through, stopping so he was beside Jaha. He stiffly turned towards you, his expression blank. You felt your heart drop and tears well within your eyes. You knew that expression. He was chipped. 

“Hello, Y/N.” Your father greeted, but there was something different. You said nothing in response, your breath frantic. Turning to Jaha, he nodded and Kane followed whatever order he’d been given, walking toward you. He stopped just in front of you and you swallowed the lump in your throat, your determination falling as your eyes welled up. “Take the chip.” 

“Please,” you whispered, moving your head away from the chip he’d brought to your lips. “Dad, please. This isn’t you.” Kane said nothing, only shoved the chip closer to your lips. Your aggressively moved your head away, taking the chance to bring your knee forward, hitting your father in the stomach. You winced, hating to hurt him, but you had no other choice.

He stumbled back, grunting as he nearly fell but Jaha helped him up.

“I won’t take your damn chip,” you spat.

“We don’t have time for this.”

Getting up, Kane straightened his back. Your eyes widened as his hand moved towards the gun that hung by his hip. 

“Got to plan B.”

“Dad,” you mumbled. “Dad, don’t do this please.” You heard how ALIE got Abby to take the chip, and what they did to Raven. You felt your breath stuck in your throat as Kane pulled out his gun. You weren’t worried about him pointing it at you, ALIE knew what would crack you.

Breathing heavily, you pulled on your wrists, trying to break free. “Dad, listen to me. This isn’t you, this isn’t you.”

“Press it against your throat.”

Your eyes crinkled in fear as your father pressed the gun against his own throat, and his finger fell on the trigger. Your struggles increased, your wrists burning in pain as you pulled harshly on them. “Please,” you bellowed, tears falling. “Please!” Turning to Jaha, you saw him just as stoic before. Shaking your head desperately, you pleaded with him; “don’t make him do this! Don’t-”

“No one but you is making me doing this, Y/N.” Kane interrupted. Tearful eyes fell on your father, as he pressed the the gun harder against his throat. Your head fumbled with coherent thoughts, desperate to stop your father from killing himself. You couldn’t lose him. Not him. Not your father too. “Take the chip, and all of this will end.”

Shaking your head head, you tried to think of a solution. Nothing came to mind, and you knew that if you didn’t do what ALIE wanted, that your father would shoot a bullet through the back of his skull. Part of you remembered why you hadn’t taken the chip when first offered, and that had been before you’d known what it could do. This was now. With every single piece of knowledge of what it’d do to you. Make you fight against your own people, betray your own people.

You couldn’t. You couldn’t take the chip. You’d just gotten them back. You’d just gotten Bellamy back. But you’d just gotten your dad back too… Tears fell down our cheeks with no care who was watching, your panic stricken eyes fell on Kane. “Please don’t kill him! ALIE, don’t kill him!”

“She’ll crack.”

“ALIE’s not killing me.” Kane replied calmly. “You are.” Everything froze as his words sunk in. Your eyes focused on the way his finger begun to press down on the trigger. You couldn’t- you can’t loose him too.

“Stop!” Kane froze, his finger coming off the trigger. “I’ll take the chip! Just don’t- i’ll do it!” Your head fell in shame, “i’ll take the chip…”


“You didn’t see Y/N anywhere?” 

Taking a deep breath, Clarke shook her head apologetically. Bellamy swallowed the lump in his throat, the possibility of what could’ve happened to you flooding through his mind. Part of him knew, it wasn’t hard to figure out. Especially since they had Kane chipped, and if they did anything like they tried to do with Abby and Clarke… “Bellamy,” Clarke offered. “We’ll get her back.”

He nodded, dismissing her pity. 

“We’re all set,” Abby informed. Nodding at her, Bellamy took the steps up so he was standing next to Clarke. “Okay, you ready?”

Nodding hesitantly, Clarke shifted to prepare herself. Turning the valve, Clarke let her head fall against the back of the chair. Bellamy’s eyes watched as Clarke’s blood travelled up the tube, going into Ontari before her own blackened blood began travelling. With watchful eyes, Bellamy watched Ontari’s blood flow into Clarke’s. 

“Try doing that hanging upside down,” Bellamy teased. 

Clarke smiled reluctantly, nodding to herself more than for anyone else. “This will work.”

“And if it doesn’t?” Abby asked. 

“If it doesn’t work, she dies. If she doesn’t try, then she dies with the rest of us.-” Murphy bluntly explained, walking towards Bellamy and Clarke. Murphy stepped up grabbing the flame as Abby, in a panic tried to stop him. “-When the climbers get here. If we’re going to do this, I need the flame.”

“Mom, please.” Clarke pleaded. “He knows what he’s doing. You have to let me go.”

Letting go of his arm, Abby backed off. Grabbing the flame, Murphy turned to Clarke. Walking around Bellamy, he stopped beside Clarke; “lean forward.” He ordered and taking a deep shaky breath, Clarke complied. “You ready?”

“Yeah, do it.”

“Ascende Superious.” Murphy whispered, and the flame reacted. Slowly but surely, he brought it closer to Clarke’s neck before it attached itself, digging it’s way into her skin. Jumping, Clarke snapped her head up, letting out screams of pain and grunts. Suddenly her screams stopped and her eyes fell shut, the back of her head hitting the chair behind her. 

“No, no, no.” Abby rushed, moving her fingers to feel for a pulse. 

“Is she okay?”

“Her hearts racing,” Abby informed. “Get that thing out of her head-” Murphy stayed put, “I said, get that thing out of her head!” Sighing reluctantly, Murphy moved to comply with Abby’s orders before Clarke’s head moved up, and her eyes opened. “No. I’m fine. Not yet.” 

Abby moved forward, grabbing Clarke by her cheeks. “Are you in any pain?” 

“No. I’m okay. I know how to stop ALIE… I have to take the chip.”


“I have to go into the City of Light,” Clarke explained. “And find the kill switch.”

Murphy pursed his lips together, nodding. “Yes. That sounds like a great idea.” He mumbled, walking off.

“Clarke,” Abby called, leaning down to Clarke’s eyesight. “Listen to me. ALIE wants the flame. If you take the chip, you’re giving it to her. The second someone sees you, ALIE is gonna know that you’re there. She’ll kill you. If you’re mind dies, you die.”

Narrowing her eyes, Clarke looked back at her mom with determination. “The flame will protect me.” She nodded, “I don’t know how I know… I just- know.” Bellamy took off down the steps, walking towards one of the chips. Picking it up, he examined it before turning back to Clarke. 

“I believe you.” He declared.

Abby still seemed concerned as she dismissed Bellamy’s sentence, turning back to her daughter. “Do you even know what you’re looking for?” Abby objected.

“I’ll know when I find it.”


“Bellamy come on!” Shaking his head, Bellamy continued making his way out of the room. Once he reached past the door, he let go of Pike who limped over to get something to hold onto. Turning towards the door, Bellamy caught sight of you. You smiled at the sight of him, cracking your neck as you climbed over the ledge.

Bellamy shut the door, ignoring the sinking feeling in his stomach. You’d been chipped.

“I told you, you need to get yourself under control if we’re gonna survive this.” Pike told Octavia, helping Bellamy drop the piece of furniture in front of the door as a barrier. Bellamy leaned down, with the help of the other two and lifted another piece of furniture up on top of the other. Grunting as they did so. Panting, they all leaned against their barrier.

Bellamy noticed Octavia’s frustration, and turning to her with wide eyes he called out; “O, O, listen to me. I know how you feel. I let my need for revenge put me on the wrong side. I don’t want that for you.” Bellamy advised, confiding in his sister which he hadn’t been able to do in forever.

Suddenly the door that they were holding pushed forward, meaning that the chipped army were pushing back. Grunting, Bellamy repositioned himself so he was in a stronger position. 

“You keep it closed,” Octavia ordered Bellamy. “I’ll get more for the barricade.”

Shifting closer to the middle of the barrier, Bellamy let his head fall against the the wood behind him. His suspicion was right. They had forced you to take the chip, and he couldn’t even began to think how. It was his fault. If he hadn’t allowed you to come or tried harder… If Clarke’s plan didn’t work… he would die here today, and it could be by your hand.

“You called Y/N’s name.” Pike suddenly spoke, catching Bellamy’s attention. 

Bellamy grunted, trying to think of what to say. “Yeah- Yeah, she took the chip.”

Pike nodded, leaning down to tie something over his wounded thigh. “Wasn’t the wrong side,” he grunted, pushing back on the barricade. “If the grounder army was still there when Lexa died, they would’ve attacked and you know it.”

“I wanted to see things like you,” Bellamy confessed. “I needed that, to believe that they were bad and we were good… I don’t know what I believe anymore. I just know I have to live with what i’ve done.”

Bellamy felt his heart stop. He knew it was inevitable. You would walk through that door just like the rest, just like Kane and every other person who’d been chipped. Part of him just wished, willed that it wouldn’t happen. But no, in the midst of a full out war in the throne room, you stepped through the door, a smile on your face.

Bellamy felt time slow down. And he watched you, every movement you made, as your eyes turned to him and an even sicker smile grew on your face. It felt like his heart was plummeting down. The inevitable was coming and he watched you take a step towards his direction.

Grunting, Bellamy bent over as a grounder punched him in the stomach. Straightening back up, he punched the grounder in the face, making him stumble back. But nothing happened, because they felt no pain and the grounder who attacked him came back full force. Out of the corner of his eye, Bellamy watched you step closer, your hands held out at your side in preparation. Kicking at the grounder before him, he turned to you, shaking his head. “Y/N,” he called. You didn’t respond. “This isn’t you, I don’t- can’t.”

You only smiled, reaching your fist back to punch him. Bellamy did his best to dodge it, grabbing your wrist. You broke off his grip, the grounder from before coming back and smacking Bellamy in the side. Grunting in pain, Bellamy stumbled back, weakly looking back up. You only continued to step towards him, your foot coming out the kick him. Taking this chance, he grabbed your ankle, pulling you forward to shove you back.

The grounder came around, punching at Bellamy ruthlessly as he did his best to retaliate. It was impossible. It was two against one, and Bellamy couldn’t even hit one of them. Because every time he reached out to hit you, he imagined your face, smiling at him. He remembered every memory the two of you shared and what you’d been through together. Even when your fist came and hit him in the face again, and your other hand punched him in the gut, he wouldn’t hit you.

Wiping at his bloodied face, Bellamy staggered. “Y/N-” You only punched him across the face again, blood flying from his nose and his head snapped in the other direction. You didn’t stop and continued to hit him, riddling him with punches. Taking your chance you shot your foot out, kicking at his feet. Bellamy grunted as the back of his head smacked against the ground, his vision blurring. Before he had anytime to think, you straddled his waist, your hands coming out to wrap themselves around his throat.

There was no way to describe it, the expression you gave Bellamy. It wasn’t you. Bellamy kept thinking. This wasn’t you. Because if this was, you would be helping him fight off the many grounders and such, not fighting him.

Gagging, Bellamy desperately tried to breathe. His hands coming out around your body to pathetically try to shove him off of you, of course it didn’t work. He desperately tried to help himself without actually hurting you. Because he couldn’t hurt you. Not you

You smiled. Twisted and sickly. Bellamy stared up into your E/C eyes, your hair falling around your face as your hands tightened their grip around his throat.

It was then that Bellamy realized, maybe you weren’t so bad.

“Didn’t even know you could smile and mean it.” 

“It’s only for reserved people.” Bellamy smirked, finding your reaction more than amusing. You gasped, helping him set down the log and hold a hand against your mouth, feigning a gasp. “I’m hurt.” You acted offended, laughing with him when he rolled his eyes. Bellamy felt at ease, relieved that he actually managed to have a decent conversation with you. And you were funner than he’d originally thought. Even in the midst of everything, Bellamy felt himself genuinely relax.

“Well, maybe one day you’ll be on that list sweetheart.” He teased, before turning. He knew that you’d say more, expected and only found himself correct when you uttered: “what does one girl need to do to get on Bellamy Blake’s list?” Your laugh was something he’d never quite heard. Turning around just so he could see your face again, he smirked.

“Continue, and you just may see.”

Bellamy had never seen you so vulnerable.

“Y/N look at me.”

With worry, Bellamy watched your defeated eyes meet his. “I don’t know what happened between you and your mom, but one thing I know for sure is, you’re not a murderer.” There was something in your gaze, something he’d never seen in anyone else. You almost seemed distressed but calm at the same time. Bellamy could see deep down in your eyes that you weren’t all you seemed to be. And he felt hope flutter through him at the thought that maybe you two weren’t so different. “I trust you, Y/N.”

He wasn’t sure how you’d react, but the three words he’d been dying to hear you say, instantly made him feel better; “I trust you.”

Bellamy knew his life was filled with guilt, but he never knew that you being upset with him would make him so visibly shaken.

“What the hell is your problem!” It broke his heart to hear you, hear you sound so angry at him. “I trusted you for God-sakes! Did you know?” Part Bellamy remembered that every action, every word you said could be heard by everyone around. But it was clear to him you didn’t care.“Did you know that taking that radio would kill all those people?”

Angry and insulted, Bellamy grabbed ahold your shoulders, violently shaking you. “No! How the hell was I suppose to know? Y/N, I didn’t force you, you did it on your own. Stop blaming me!” He screamed at your face, but in his mind he hated himself. Hated himself for yelling at you for his mistakes. Bellamy had done this, he was the one lashing out and you were frustrated beyond belief. Bellamy hated himself because you were the one person who could change him and he was shoving you away.

“I’m not blaming you.” You whispered, “but this? Bellamy you can’t just kill and destroy anything that becomes a threat to you! Listen, I don’t want the Ark down here and I definitely don’t want the grounders to murder us, but this is not the way!” 

Bellamy’s face fell, looking away from your gaze. “I have too…”

Bellamy’s eyes fell on the gun in your hand as you tried not to shake. 

“You don’t have to do this.” He clarified.

“I’m not gonna leave our friends, you, to die.” You stressed, and Bellamy watched with pride as determination flooded your gaze. You were more than met the eye. “I’ve got this. I’ll-I’ll be fine.”

When he saw you, his heart froze.

“Y/N!” Bellamy yelled over the screams, “go!” His hand shot out behind him, to the drop-ship, desperate for you to listen.

“I’m not leaving you!” Your words sunk in, realization flooding him that you both may die today. “Please, just go! I can’t loose you too.” Bellamy, grabbing ahold of the ground and trying to hold him back. Give you a chance to leave.

“I’m not leaving you.” 

Bellamy had been so worried.


Bellamy felt you press yourself against him, your warm embrace surrounding him. “I am just glad you’re alive.” You whispered so low that only Bellamy could hear. “I didn’t se-see- I thought you were dead.”

Deciding to lighten the mood, Bellamy grinned. “You know i’m not that easy to get rid of, Y/N.” He found himself mesmerized by such a simple act, you brushing your hair behind your ear.

“Yeah, I guess I do.”

Bellamy hadn’t seen you so broken since that night at the depot.

“I-I tried…” You whimpered, it breaking Bellamy’s hear..

He nodded, “I know.” Bellamy wasted no time in wrapping his arms around you, holding you in your time of need. He only squeezed tighter when you sobbed.

Bellamy should’ve known, you always were too stubborn.

“To me it isn’t worth the risk.” 

“Y/N-” Bellamy started once again but you held your hands up, effectively stopping him.. “I’m not gonna stop you, you wouldn’t even listen to me. But I told you, if you’re going in there so am I.” You said, raising your head and Bellamy noticed how you tried to hide the pain you felt. This wasn’t right. It was already risky with him just going in, and it didn’t settle right within him if you went.

“Y/N, it’s too dangerous. It’ll be quicker if I go by myself.”

“True, you might move quicker, but who’s gonna watch your back when you get in trouble?” You asked, smirking up at him. “I’m going with you, and that’s final.”

Something told him he’d regret this later. “Fine.”

It had taken every bit of Bellamy’s will-power to not have gone after you sooner. 

“I’m sorry it took so long.”

“Thank you.” You whispered. Relief flooded through Bellamy. He had you. He had you in his arms and you were safe. Looking down, Bellamy noticed how your eyes fell shut and you fell into a slumber. You were safe. Bellamy felt like he could breathe again.

“I got you.” He whispered, pressing a kiss against the top of your head.

Bellamy never knew he needed to hear something so bad until he heard you finally forgive him.

“I was so angry at you,” you whimpered, sniffling. Bellamy’s felt his entire being flood with guilt, watching through wet eyes as you struggled with your own emotions. “Everything you’d done, everything you said.” What you said did nothing to calm his nerves, but he knew you needed him to hear it. And for you, he stayed and listened.

“I-I don’t want to feel that way anymore.”

Bellamy took a deep breath, wiping at his tears. “I need you, Y/N. I need you by my side.”

“This isn’t you…” Bellamy gasped.

Suddenly, something within you snapped. Everything came flooding through you and it was like you could see through your own eyes again. What you saw was not what you expected. Letting go of Bellamy’s neck, you stumbled back, eyes wide. Bellamy took a deep breath in, slowly sitting up as you stared at him. 

Holding your hands out before you, you watched as they shook violently. You- You’d just been choking Bellamy? You couldn’t- you would never. And then it all came flooding back. The chip. ALIE.

“Bellamy…?” You mumbled out, your voice barely above a whisper. His eyes widened, worry flooding through them as tears welled in your eyes. What had you done? What… how? Falling back, you moved to crawl away, too ashamed to even be near Bellamy. You’d tried to kill him. You-

“Hey, hey, hey.” You heard him call, grabbing ahold of you before you could get away. Shaking your head, you stared at his reddened face, his bloodied face, all because of you. You were going to murder him. Choke the life out of the man you’d fallen in love with. It didn’t matter if you’d been being controlled, it had been your hands. “It’s okay.” You heard him whisper and then his arms wound around you, pulling you against him. It felt wrong but you fell against him, your eyes crinkling as tears fell.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Bellamy.” You repeated, desperate for him to hear. He held you close, running his fingers through your hair as you cried. What had you done? “They were going to kill him… I couldn’t- I didn’t have a choice.”

“It’s okay.” Bellamy whispered, pulling back from the hug, he grabbed ahold of your cheeks. Bellamy searched around, trying to get you to focus on him. Once his eyes found yours, he nodded at you. “You’re not a murder.” You nodded, tears running down your face as you looked completely vulnerable in that moment.

Leaning back to hug him, your eyes found your father, sobbing. Though, soon enough Abby came around and you knew he was fine. Part of you felt relieved that he had someone to support him and you could allow yourself to heal without having to worry about him. 

Staring up at Bellamy, you pushed yourself closer to him. You relished in the warmth. Relished in the way he was able to forgive you despite nearly choking him to death. You don’t know what would happen now, but you were relieved to be back in his arms.

A sudden groan caught your attention. Pulling back from the hug, you looked over to Octavia only to find her sword in Pike’s stomach. Your eyes widened, unsure of what to say as you looked over at Bellamy. Octavia pushed the sword forward, then aggressively pulled it out. Pike fell to the ground, his body thumping loudly as no one uttered a word. Taking a deep breath, Octavia walked over to the door, leaving the room.

Bellamy turned to you, shock filling his system as he gazed down at you. Nodding, you smiled, trying to give him some reassurance; “i’m okay. I’m okay.” You both got up, Bellamy helping you as you shakily stood. Following behind him, you made your way over to Clarke. She smiled at the sight of you and you offered a small, unsure smiled yourself.

“ALIE’s gone,” she nodded.

“Yeah,” you mumbled.

“I figured.” Bellamy agreed.

Though your furrowed your brows in confusion when no smile or look of relief passed over Clarke’s face. Looking over at Bellamy, you saw him look just as confused as you. “Clarke, you’re not acting like someone who just saved the world.”

She shook her head, smiling lightly; “because we didn’t. Not yet.”

Part 23?


you’re mounting the open sea, you can’t take your eyes off him,
glittering cascades of sand, how the coral ruckus
swirled inside his oceania eyes, arms carved into fine
candle opera, the world strums to his chords
(his bones, his breath.)

blue raindrops curtain purple mornings, that candy apple
sweetness still soft on the tongue, there’s a gap somewhere
in between his disillusion and your mirage
(a place where all of heaven’s discarded harps go.)

so he’s sitting up on his elbows, lashes flirting the light,
& he asks, "can you make a bed out of me?“
you laugh, he’s more than bed. he’s the whole goddamn room.
(and the earth thrums in agreement.)

the picture frame with crooked teeth. the phosohorescent
galaxies on the ceiling; and his mouth makes you feel like
the cupboard you stuffed your shaking body into
when you wanted to hide away from the world
for a little while.

some nights you want to close your eyes, and you don’t anyway.

just in case the dream fades while you weren’t looking
& you forget the warm length of it and how it splinters
your every nerve like a flower with swords for petals.

and you only bleed on saturdays, when it’s all flesh wounds
and your reflection going cold through rainy windows. 
but the world spins where his hands press against the
countertop and you watch imagining the weight
of them replacing the faulty ribs in your chest.

and he’s still fluttering across your highway lines, when it’s
dreamless outside and the moon isn’t full enough to
swallow you up and kill the black maiming
hands of your reality.


Well, shit.

That was…an odd episode. It felt a lot like a season 1 episode, really, from the Scooby Doo villain monologue on down. This was definitely the weakest episode of season 2 by a long shot, and it went down the mind control trope road again for the umpteenth time, much to my dismay. Unlike The Love God, this one didn’t have astonishing humor or character development to offset it, either, although those weren’t exactly bad. Just not good enough to pull this one back up. 

Honestly, if you’d told me that this was a fanmade episode, I would believe it. It had the whole Gravity Falls formula, but it just didn’t have the same vision I’ve become accustomed to recently. The Stanchurian Candidate gets a 5/10. Respectable, but well below the standard for this series.

If you enjoy what you’re reading and you’d like to help me keep this project going into the foreseeable future, help me out a little. Every little bit adds up.