I force my dad to listen to kpop: the drive to grandma's house
Dad: this is very autotuned
Dad: /grumbles to self
[Rap section begins]
Dad: /turns up louder
Mamamoo “Piano Man”
Dad: /sings along to chorus/ ba-ba-ba-da-da
Seungri “Gotta Talk to You”
Dad: /allows song to be played at loud volume
Me: /remembers how strange a song might sound if the only lines you understand are “I’m hustlin, hustlin”
EXO “Black Pearl [Remixed]”
[proceeds to ignore glorious remix]
Dad: You know how stupid people are too stupid to know they’re stupid? Sometimes I wonder if there are smart people that are too smart to know they’re smart. [commenting on how he wishes my mom and sister would stop calling themselves stupid]
Me: I’ve played this before
Dad: NOT AGAIN
Epik High “Amor Fati”
Me: This is a rap song
Dad: Is this gonna be a whiny love song?
Tablo: God doesn’t love me
Hyosung “Goodnight Kiss”
Dad: y'know I really like your sister’s boyfriend. she’s become less materialistic because of him
[chorus comes on]
Dad: /sings along
Dad: mama’s gonna buy you a diamond ring~ see the tune is the same!
Dad: /mocks Mark’s whiny part
Dad: It’s problematic that your brother is 21 now. That means I have to offer him wine. I buy the wine because of him- it’s therapeutic. Now I might need to go see an actual therapist.
Crush ft. Zion.T “Hey Baby”
Dad: /sings along to ba-ba part
Dad: I don’t understand why people think I look young for my age- I’m balding. Maybe it’s because I have this pimple? [points to forehead]
[Interlude to listen to “Uptown Funk” because one does not simply skip over “Uptown Funk”]
EXID “Up & Down”
[LE comes on]
Dad: is this the korean version of iggy azalea?
Me: nah, that’s someone else.
Junsu ft. Tablo “Flower”
Dad: are these the type of ballads your roommate likes?
Me: nah, she likes the boring ones with pianos
Dad: so no fake symphonies?
MFBTY “Sweet Dream”
Dad: /proceeds to jam
Me: y'know I’m gonna make a post about your reactions, right?
Dad: but I’m not reacting. I’m just sitting here like this [blank face]
Me: if you say so.
Me: I’ll just play the most kpoppish thing ever for you.
Dad: Bring it on.
Dad: were they saying the n-word?
Me: no. they were saying ‘naega.’ that’s how they say “I”
Dad: I think I heard them say sodomy at one point too, so I thought this song was about some anal sex ritual