not being fat anymore

I can’t stand being fat anymore. I’ve wasted a whole year because I have no self control. I have to stop fucking around and do it this time. I have to be thin. Skinny. Petite. Like a feather. I want to look like I’m floating when I walk, not to look like an elephant. I hate the looks people give me, when they laugh at me when I buy anything else than veggies and fruit. I hate people belittling me. Making me feel worthless when they’re thin and perfect, and I’m a fat pig who can’t do anything right. I need to make this time, I don’t want to cry in front of the mirror anymore and think how did I get myself in this situation. I just need to get thin. This time I will make it. I promise.

Like I’m not stupid. I know that healthy diet+exercise=weight loss. I also know that doing it the “right” way takes for ever, and that I have to do what I have to do
That doesn’t mean I’m not gonna complain every day. I’m not gonna be one of those jolly people, posting before and after pics, snapping my journey, and being inspirational. Imma be miserable. Because being fat was fun. It isn’t fun anymore. Gonna work out and eat right until my body is fun again

I’m a pathetic human and I just downloaded a weight loss app where an attractive anime boy is your coach and he is mean af but his little virtual binch ass got me to do like, 20 sit ups so…

the thing i hate is i know once i get home my mom is gonna be like “you look like you lost some weight!” because every time i come home from a long time she’s either like “you need to lose some weight girl” or commenting about how good i look if she thinks i lost weight like. uhmmm sorry mom but you continuing to try and condition me to hate being fat isn’t fucking working anymore like sorry that was the society you grew up in and sorry that you let it affect you, but im not the one bitch


Helllllo, all!

So as some of you may know, my name is Marissa. I’m a 22 year old mother of an adorable 2 year old boy, and for the past couple of years I’ve been in an up-and-down battle with weight. I’ve come a LONG way from where I was, and have been learning more and more about living a “fit” lifestyle along the way. So - I decided that maybe I could start this blog in an attempt to connect with others who may be kind of in the same boat, or struggling themselves with what they can do to see results, or whatever! I’ve been receiving a lot of positive (along with some negative, but you’ll always have someone with something to say!) feedback from my progress posts and with that feedback have come some questions; i.e. how did you do it? what workouts do you recommend for your tummy? are you on a diet? etc. & I kind of wanted to be able to have a place to answer those questions, from my friends and fellow tumblr users as well!

So I guess I’ll give a little background!

I gave birth to my son on August 23, 2012 and I tell you what, that was the best day of my life. There is nothing as wonderful as bringing a precious baby into this world! I loved the feeling of being a new Mommy and snuggling up with my sweet baby boy. Everything was perfect!
Theeeeen I had my 6 week check-up.
I had gained ten pounds since having gave birth to my son. If anything, I should have lost at LEAST 8 pounds. That was kind of the moment, I think, where I hit a mental rock bottom. I was fat. I was fatter than I was when I was 41 weeks pregnant. I couldn’t explain how disgusting I felt.
Not too long after I had already come out of denial that I didn’t look “that bad” for just having a child, I went to the store with my fiance and bumped into a girl I had known in high school - who then proceeded to post online how I was so fat. Another slap in the face. But, I brought it on myself. And that was the worst part. I couldn’t “blame” being fat on being pregnant anymore.

I decided I needed to do something. I was tired of being tired, of getting winded from walking up a flight of stairs, I couldn’t run for longer than a minute at a time. It was pathetic, honestly. Then I started to think about my Lil’ Man and how I’m a young mother… Too young to be too lazy to go out and throw a ball around or play superheroes or go on a walk. Something had to give, and it had to be me and my excuses.

I tried going to the gym, but soon realized that I wasn’t seeing any progress. I was TOO easy on myself… (I still have the worst mental battles when it comes to pushing myself through a workout, but it gets easier!) I would tell myself after 20 seconds of a lightttt jog that it was time for a rest. It was going nowhere, and I was wasting my money on a gym membership.

Then I started searching progress pics on Instagram, and a lot of people were posting “Insanity” pictures. I had done some p90x videos in school, but never really tried a set program. My sister-in-law had a copy of Insanity that she let me borrow, and I was in LOVE! (I sound like a beachbody rep but I swear by the program, I actually just bought the Insanity Max:30 program!)

Along with Shaun T. kicking my ass and making me cry, I started paying more attention to what I was shoving down my throat. Cutting portion sizes/cutting back on junk food snacking has been my hardest obstacle. I tell people I was a black hole that was never satisfied, and that’s loosely accurate. I could eat a whole digorno rising crust pizza and still have room. fjhdajkfhdakfhdak disgusting. (Granted, pizza is the most important food group, this was still a bit excessive.)

I’ve been trying to improve my workouts lately by being more conscious of “little” things that make a huge difference - keeping your core tight, focusing more on breathing, keeping your butt down, knees behind toes, etc. & I can already feel a difference in strength and progress in my workouts!


I just want to have this page here to share my own success, celebrate with others for their own accomplishments in their journey, offer any help I can to anyone who has questions, whatever! I know when I first started trying to make a change, it was hard for me to go and ask for help, even with basic questions. I loved finding other women, mothers especially, who have made a huge change in their lives, because I felt they offered a bit more realistic advice than say someone who’s always been somewhat thin and has been awesome at toning. Losing THIS much excess weight/fat is HARD, and I don’t want anyone to ever feel like they don’t have someone to reach out to, cry to, complain to!

I also acknowledge that I am not a fitness professional, and any advice that I offer has been obtained from personal experience/read/informed by a fitness professional/etc.

I hope this blog is useful to someone, and I hope everyone lives their life in 2015 in a healthy and active lifestyle!

A Place For Us To Dream || Turn Left

Title: A Place For Us To Dream (60/65)
Rating: T
Summary: —Doomsday AU— What would have happened if the Doctor’s lever had been the one to slip? If the Doctor had been the one trapped in the parallel universe? Rose has to pick up the pieces and carry on in his place. After all, someone has to be the Doctor.
Characters: Tenth Doctor, Rose Tyler, Jackie Tyler, Pete Tyler, Mickey Smith, Martha Jones, Donna Noble
Notes: This story was inspired by a number of things — namely badwolfrun trying to keep me entertained at work by sending me this ask, which became this graphic and this graphic made by MK, and subsequent discussions with MK and perfectlyrose. Enjoy!

Note: Updating early in honor of Turn Left Thursday. Yay for episode-themed days!


“Leeds,” Donna said in disbelief as the officer handed her the folder. “I’m not moving to Leeds.”

“I’m afraid it’s Leeds or you can wait in the Hostel for another three months,” the man informed her, a bit rudely. Donna scowled.

“All I want is a washing machine,” Sylvia said.

“What about Glasgow? I heard there was jobs going in Glasgow.”

“You can’t pick and choose. We’ve the whole of Southern England flooded with radiation. Seven million people in need of relocation, and now France has closed its borders. So, it’s Leeds or nothing. Next!”

* * * * *

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Based on 5x16 Tested spoilers. When Blaine starts gaining weight, he doesn’t know what to do. MPREG.

I need to stop eating so many sweets, Blaine tells himself as he shimmies out of yet another pair of pants. Several discarded pairs of multicolored jeans lay strewn around the room and he knows that if Kurt comes home to this mess, he’s gonna be pissed. Yet, Blaine can’t find it within himself to care. Nothing is going right for him that day and he’s tired, annoyed, and most of all, hungry, but he’s really not in the mood to even deal with food right now. Because nothing fits.

Ever since he moved to New York, Blaine’s found himself becoming lax in a bunch of things: exercise, healthy eating, etc. Now he’s got the pudge to prove it and it’s all sitting on his belly, his puffed out, slightly squishy belly. Disgust mars his face as he throws himself backward on the bed, pants off and arms cast out to the side as he stares up at the ceiling. He feels fat and unattractive and all he wants to do is curl up in a ball and sleep.

But he can’t because he and Kurt have a date tonight. If only he can find something that fits before Kurt gets home.

Keep reading

Fat acceptance and me.

I hit the 40lb weight loss mark. I’m happy but need to say something.

I’ve been over weight for over 7 years now. Since I married my sweet, handsome, loving, perfect in every way for me husband I have gained 100 fucking pounds. ONE-HUNDRED. I went from 167 to 270. I’m not going to pretend this 270 thing is recent, because it sure as fuck isn’t. I have been over 200 pounds since about a year in, around this weight for probably the past 3 years. He gained weight too, around 60lbs, but when we did low carb a couple years ago he lost it, and has kept it off. Meanwhile, I stay the same. Constantly fidgeting with my clothing, going through 10 outfits before we go out so I don’t look like I’m wearing clothes too small for me. I dress for my weight. I have not worn shorts or a tank in a couple of years, we live in Washington so the summers don’t get too hot so I can get away with it. I’ve dieted many times, my husband has never told me to, I know he knows I am unhappy, but every fucking day he tells me how beautiful I am, how much he loves me, and how he just wants me to be happy.

Never once has he ever mentioned my weight, fuck knows he thinks about it, who wouldn’t. 

So why can’t/couldn't I lose the weight? 

-Because I can’t stop popping shit into my mouth that is absolutely horrible for me, and eating more than a person should in a god damn day. 

I can not emphasize enough how this is my own fucking fault. It is not society, it is not Mcdonald’s, it is not my parents. IT IS ME that keeps putting this shit into my body. I could blame someone all day for why I eat as much as I do, why I don’t exercise enough. Or I could create a movement that makes society love me and accept me for my body type…and totally rip on girls who are ‘skinny’ who work their fucking asses off at the gym. Oh wait I forgot, they are naturally skinny…right? That is how we are doing this? I was born with big bones, right? It is perfectly to gain weight as you get older right? Big is beautiful? There is a huge fucking difference between being a little overweight, or curvy. We all realistically know what curvy is, so please, don’t call that fat roll you and I have hanging over our pant waste a curve, because it isn’t. 

Big is beautiful. 

Can I just for one moment please tell you why big is not beautiful, why big is not fun, why being OBESE (because that is what this is) is not sexy?

  1. I can’t pick shit up, I have to do a mean weird legs spread squat to pick shit up because my stomach gets in the way. My husband picks stuff up for me when he is around, he fucking knows.
  2. When I walk too much (too much, HAH) my LOVE HANDLES start to hurt and get sore. 
  3. The inner thighs off all my jeans maybe last a month. They rub out due to the friction
  4. Wearing a dress? Chaffing to the point of blood due to the thighs touching if I walk around longer than an hour. 
  5. My hair falls out more than it should, because of my diet
  6. On hot days, my beautiful wedding ring doesn’t fit my finger, it fucking hurts because my fingers swell up really bad…this also happens if I walk around a lot. 
  7. Buying clothes is awful, I know I’m big. What is the point in buying something to dress up how awful I feel inside. 
  8. Sometimes I get so upset about being overweight and not making a change I take it out on those around me, namely so, my husband. 
  9. I just flew internationally on a 787, the seat belt, barely, and I mean barely buckled. I kept checking online at the seating arrangement and kept moving to where no one would have to sit next to me. If I cross my arms I don’t pour into the next seat, but 10 hours like that would have sucked. 
  10. I’m out of breath, a lot. It is embarrassing.
  11. When I am out in public with my husband I feel embarrassed for him. He is a great looking, sweet guy, with the fat wife. 

Why did it take me so long to finally dedicate myself? I really can’t tell you why before none of the reasons listed above, and reason why I did not even mention were not good enough. Being overweight is really weird, you would love to lose the weight, but then you…I… see a taco or something and eat it..okay like 8 of them.

But then this movement came along

. Obese people started putting skinny people down. Started demanding as if it would brain wash the nation, that big people are the new standard, the new beautiful. Inspirational quotes started popping up all over facebook to justify the reason why no one wanted to lose weight. It was a huge “We don’t want to lose weight, we are not going to change, so we are going to make thin people feel bad about being thin” Only it didn’t work…well for some it has…but it sent me running in the other direction. Nobody has to accept me. No one has to love my


…oh sorry…curves.

I don’t want to be apart of that crowd

, I don’t want people to think that I am some fat person who refuses to change, and puts down any other type of healthy body type because I don’t love myself enough to stop putting burgers in my mouth. I’m terrified to be in that group, I want out, I want out as soon as I can. Being fat isn’t just about being fat anymore, they made it something more, something that everyone could take notice and hate, rather than something that simply existed. Those are things that effect me as a person about my weight. I’m 27 years old, I can’t keep going like this, the health risks that are involved in being overweight have been proven, they are showing, so why is this lifestyle being encouraged? I can’t understand it. There is nothing healthy about this, mentally and physically. I can’t believe someone could be this weight, and still function normally as a human being day to day, without once thinking that all this extra fat is getting in the way of something for them. 

How my life is

My husband and I have two dogs, and they are my whole world. I have such a happy life, I can’t believe how much I love my husband and how much he loves me. Our money problems went away in the past year, we have a savings and extra to just mess around with. We go camping, we go for walks, we get out, we travel. I don’t live a sit down lifestyle, but due to the things I eat and the amount, it isn’t enough to sustain a weight loss. My heart is full at every moment and I know that I could have never imagined such a happy full of love life that I have here in front of me, I’m aware every single fucking day of how much I have, and how I never want to lose it. The only thing wrong is how my weight effects things in our schedule, our relationship. Even if he didn’t think about it, and again he never tells me, I do. We still have sex regularly, but I’m conscious of my body I created. When the weather gets warm it gets really bad, I just want to hid inside if the temperature gets too hot, and get irritable at him if he suggests doing anything out there. I love my job, I love my home, I love my tiny family we have together…I just don’t love myself…well I’m starting to. I’m starting to better my decisions. It takes seeing progress, it takes time, and it takes a supportive community to get going. I still slip up, I always will…but I don’t want to go back to being the way I was. I’ve lost a little, and want to keep chugging a long. The Keto community on reddit is amazing, and I often lurk there for support, and have posted a couple of times. I will continue to write about my struggles and my weight loss but I just wanted to rant about this movement and why I think it is bad for us as adults, and children who grow up to think that being overweight is a something to be proud of. 

If you are happy with yourself, go on being happy, but please recognize the risks and health issues associated with being overweight. No one has to accept us, no one has to think we are beautiful, so quit pushing it. You shouldn't have to tell anyone that you are beautiful, they will figure it out for themselves, I promise. 

Quit saying bones are for dogs skinny/healthy people are people too….it is just mean. 

anonymous asked:

Oh my goodness I need to lose this weight quick and I keep trying to fast and I made it a couple days but my mom practically made me eat and I binged. Do you have any fasting tips? I know you may not condone this behavior and neither do I but I can't stand being so fat anymore please help.

I used to have a problem with binging. I used to think, It’s so hard to not eat the fucking cookie when it’s right in the fucking pantry that’s right fucking in front of me!! And as I was thinking this, I was eating that damn cookie. And then another. And you know how that story goes. Poof, box of cookies gone. Completely obliterated. Then on to something else in the freezer. God damn, we used to get so much ice cream. Okay, so what I just explained? We don’t want that.


One word: discipline!!!!! Holy lord, this is the hardest part, trust me! But these tips can help you with a lil’ control.

  1. Make a motivational list of why you want to shed pounds. Everytime you think of “ooh, this would be good to eat!” THINK OF THE LIST. Think of how much better your life will be when you’re skinnier!
  2. Pinch yourself.
  3. Think of thinspo and fitspo.
  4. Read encouraging quotes, maybe?
  5. Think of your skinny ass, fit ass body in a few months.
  6. Remember: 30% exercise, 70% eating healthy!
  7. Think about that cheat meal you’ll reward yourself one time later this week. Yum, amirite?
  8. Just don’t move lol
  9. This one really helped me. Think: how will this food ever even benefit me??? Like bruh. Will I even remember the taste when I’m done eating this shit??? In years from now, I will not remember this cookie. So what’s really the point? Is it gonna save the world? Nope. Uh-uh.


Out of sight, out of mind, right? Take all the unhealthy foods out and replace them with fruits, veggies, and proteins! All that healthy stuff. While you’re at it, throw all the big plates in the dumpster! Get small plates that fit portion sizes. Your stomach will no longer be able to take in large amounts of food you’ve recently been chugging.

This might make you have to talk to your mom about it, which really sucked for me. But do you want

Okay, so. Lose weight fast? Seems like a hard feat, but I’ll give you some links to the programs I partook in when I was first starting to get fit. I saw results pretty darn quick, so I still do 1 & 2 a few times a week. Maybe my quick weight loss was due to the fact that I also started tennis and two types of dance. Hm. Well, if you look at the the comments, you can see that people are crazy about the workouts below.

  1. How to Get Slimmer Legs (Mon, Wed, Fri)
  2. 9 Exercises for a Flat Stomach (Mon-Fri)
  3. How to Lose Arm Fat (Tues, Thurs, Sat)

I think I hit all the points :) Good luck, kay? Message me again if you need more help.

accidentalevil  asked:

Just a reminder: there is no such thing as "fat-phobic" doctors. Only doctors concerned for your health. Fine, you don't want to lose weight, you like your body as it is - fine, your choice. But it's not heathly for your body, so don't try to smash the batch "fat-phobic" on educated people because you don't want to listen. I'm overweight too. I know it can be a sensitive subject. Doctors are concerned about possible dangerous conditions, even if you don't want to change.

Sorry, but you being fat doesn’t make me sympathize with or care anymore about what you have to say. I’ve read many accounts about doctors thinking weight loss was the answer to someone’s issue, misdiagnosing people only to have their problems worsen without proper care, sometimes very close to a fatal point.

Tl;dr fuck off

Not One

TITLE: Not one


AUTHOR tomcuddlesfic


GENRE: fluff / romance / comedy

FIC SUMMARY: OC is worried about her baby bump being too big.


Author’s comment: I have one more exam to write and then I’m free for the summer. However, I just got a job so i’ll be really busy throughout and then i also took a summer class so my life is in ruins right now. Hopefully, I can still supply fluffy one shots for all. Thank you to all who have sent in prompts! It was very kind of you.


THE PROMPT SENT IN WAS: I have a Drabble prompt? You have an unusually large baby bump for only two months along and Tom is worried sick that something is wrong. When he comes home from work one day, you announce to him that his suspicions were correct, as you’re having twins.

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I am fat. I’ve been fat for a really long while now. And my weight was always an issue. I could make fun of me being fat, things like “be careful, I could easily sit on you and crush you”. But it always hurt when other people made those jokes, because I knew they meant it in a different way than I did.

When I tried to loose weight I always lost the battle.

I never was truly depressed of my weight, but the stares, the whispers and all that crap always hurt. And it still does.

I discovered feminism and body positive a year ago or a bit longer than that. I read a lot of feminist literature and especially enjoyed “Fat!So?” by Marilyn Wann. And I started to hang around feminist and body positive blogs. And I started to see things differently.

How much I’ve changed I discovered this very last Christmas:

My sister (we are not close) told me I should loose weight, because “it isn’t healthy” and I said to her, that yes, I want to build up stamina again (I lost a bit there because in the last months I couldn’t get away from the computer because of work and I really miss doing a bit sport), but I don’t really want to loose much weight, I feel comfortable. And as an answer she went “ts” and looked disgusted to her side, clearly not believing me, because how can anyone be comfortable being fat? (you all know that look)

This would’ve crushed and haunted me a few years ago. Because when someone thinks you’re disgusting, how can you stay positive?

But you know what: I don’t give a f***ing sh*t about what she thinks.

Weight does not define how happy one can be.

And if one feels uncomfortable seeing me being my fat happy self, than they are not worth my time anymore!

So thank you all out there for being body positive!



January 14, 2014


            Introductions are either brilliant or horrendous. This one (and the middle and the end and every little thing in between) is exceptionally horrendous. And, for that, I am sorry. With that little disclaimer out of the way, I can get to the really meaty portion of this rather starchy paragraph and let you all know that I am fat. Always have been—although there was that time when I was born and was rather average. I am squishy and round and decorated with the stripes of a fleshy tiger. But I’m not going to be fat anymore.

             I don’t have an issue with being fat. I really don’t. The word used to leave a bad taste in my mouth but I can now use it freely in conversation without my brain buzzing with self-hatred. I love my body; blubber and all. That might be confusing to some because it kind of contradicts my previous declaration of bidding farewell to my excess weight so I’m going to explain myself the absolute simplest of terms by doing a little self-Q&A.

So, you’re going to lose weight?

That would be correct.

If you love your body, why do you want to change it?

Contrary to popular assumption, one can yearn to change their appearance in a loving manner as opposed to the rather traditional (and rather unhealthy) self-loathing motivators. I want to change and grow and be healthy. Body, mind, soul, bank account, pantry, etc. I adore my body as is and I am of the belief that my self-love won’t be hindered by any weight loss that may or may not occur from here on out.

Did you just say that fat people aren’t healthy?

Fuck no! Fat people can be super healthy in the same way that thin people can be super sickly. If I, personally, could stay morbidly obese and live a normal life—I would. Think of all of the heartache I could save and all of the junk food I wouldn’t be depriving myself of! The horrible truth of the matter is that my spine is an evil little bastard that disagrees with my sedentary lifestyle and my binge eating. And, on a more serious note, my mental health doesn’t really appreciate the unwelcome pity party I throw for myself every time I overeat for no good reason.

Long story short, I am striving for health. Not a waistline. And right now, I am unhealthy.

[Insert sarcastic tone here] Do you always make this much sense?

You bet I do! Three cheers for shitty sentence structure and clichés!

Why are starting this two weeks after the New Year?

Because I’m a rebel. I’m not gonna conform to some greeting card company’s idea of a holiday! I refuse to let some fascist social gosh diddley darn tradition inspire my life choices. AND I WILL BE DAMNED IF I EVER RESOLVE TO THE IDEA THAT A NEW YEAR MEANS A NEW ME.

In all honesty, I fully intended to but I’m a lazy schmuck who was itching for some noodles and fries two weeks in and completely caved. Alas, I am now bound by the laws of this here text. And plus, I’m pretty sure I pinky swore to myself that I would stop being a jerk to my smokin’ hot bod by feeding it processed crap and watching 10 hours of Orange is the New Black a day.

So what is with the journal entries?

I’ve run a health blog for about two and a half years. I think it is about time that I start taking it seriously. I spend a lot of time on it writing fiction (not lies, actual fictional stories) and posting photos of hot people and supporting equal rights and such. But I’ve never been an active blogger in the sense that I, well, blog about my life.

So, I’m going to do that and hopefully makes some people laugh and cry and stuff.

What is your endgame, Brynn?

What it has always been, Brynn. To be happy and healthy and to have more money than Starbucks has coffee. Maybe not that last one but probably.

anonymous asked:

hi...i hope this doesn't sound offensive/weird, but do you think it's okay to go on a diet/lose weight because you can't take being shamed for being fat anymore? i see all those posts (including yours) that make me feel comfortable about being fat, but then i go outside, or people make comments, or i realise i can't find in most clothes i wanna wear and it's just frustrating, y'know? what do you think? i've been fat all my life so i've been thinking of tryng to change this...

it is your body and your choices so yes of course you can do anything you want to alter it to make yourself feel more comfortable!! i would advise you to analyze your feelings and think on whether it would actually help, however, because im not sure how satisfied youll actually be in the aftermath to be honest. if the standards of society eat away at you internally and intimately, it doesn’t matter if you change to fit these standards, you will never escape them, no matter how hard you “work” to be conventionally attractive. there will always be something to “fix” - this is how the beauty industry thrives. you will most likely continue to suffer from image problems until you emotionally drudge through and overcome the shaming, and once you have, you will be free. 

i truly think that once youve worked at loving yourself, accepting yourself, and realizing that other people’s input have nothing to do with your self love, self respect, and self image, that you would feel more whole. when you live like that it doesn’t matter how nasty others are because you will have your own warmth to lean back on which makes u more or less indestructible. it’s hard work but well worth it, and this is always the route i advise to people. ily and believe in you lil lion baby!! you can do it!