not an avenger but still

Drabble Challenge

okay so this is not my drabble list but i found it on tumblr so all credit goes out to the person who made this. send me in any numbers and who you would like it to be about (example peter parker, tom holland, stiles stillnski, etc…) 

leave the number and person/character in my ask and id be happy to write it!!

1. “That’s starting to get annoying”
2. “Hey, hey, calm down. They can’t hurt you anymore.”
3. ‘You can’t just sit there all day.”
4. “I’m too sober for this.”
5. “I’m not here to make friends.”
6. “I need a place to stay.”
7. “Well, that’s tragic.”
8. “You’re seriously like a man-child.”
9. “You can’t banish me! This is my bed too!”
10. “The ladies love a guy who’s good with kids.”
11. Dear Diary, …”
12. She’s hiding behind the sofa.”
13. “I lost our baby.”
14. “They’re so cute when they’re asleep.”
15. “I’d kill for a coffee…literally.”
16. “You’re getting crumbs all over my bed.”
17. “Good thing I didn’t ask for your opinion.”
“18. What’s the matter, sweetie?”
19. “You’re Satan.”
20. “I don’t want to hear your excuse. You can’t just give me wet-willies.”
21. “I’m bulletproof…but please, don’t shoot me.”
22. “Did you just hiss at me?”
23. “Do you really need all that candy?”
24. “It’s six o’clock in the morning, you’re not having vodka.”
25. “I swear, I’m not crazy!!!”
26. “The diamond in your engagement ring is fake.”
27. “No. Regrets.”
28. “How drunk was I?”
29. “How is my wife more badass than me?”
30. “Be you. No one else can.”
31. “I haven’t slept in ages.”
32. “I locked the keys in the car.”
33. “Are you sure that’s the decision you want to make?”
34. “You work for me. You are my slave.”
35. “Take your medicine.”
36. “They’re monsters.”
37. “Welcome to fatherhood.”
38. “Why can’t you appreciate my sense of humor?”
39. “It’s your turn to make dinner.”
40. “The kids, they ambushed me.”
41. “Sorry isn’t going to help when I kick your ass!!!”
42. “Stop being so cute.”
43. “I feel like I can’t breathe.”
44. “You need to see a doctor.”
45. “You’re getting a vasectomy. That’s final.”
46. “I was a joke, baby. I swear.”
47. “Dogs don’t wear clothes!”
48. “I didn’t think you could get any less romantic…”
49. “Safety first. What are you? FIVE?”
50. “This is girl talk, so leave.”
51. “Where am I going? Crazy. Wanna come?”
52. “There’s a herd of them!”
53. “Do you think I’m scared of a woman?”
54. “They’re not your kids, back the f*ck off.”
55. “You’re a nerd.”
56. “I’m late.”
57. “Just get home as soon as possible, okay?!”
58. “You smell like a wet dog.”
59. “I could punch you right now.”
60. “Are you going to talk to me?”
61. “Welcome back. Now fucking help me.”
62. “If you can’t sleep…we could have sex?”
63. “Flea markets don’t carry fleas, you know?”
64. “Here, take my blanket.”
65. “I don’t want you to stop.”
66. “How could I ever forget about you?”
67. “You’re bleeding all over my carpet.”
68. “Run for it!”
69. “We need to talk.”
70. “Not everyone is out to get you. Stop thinking that. It’s annoying.”
71. “I want a pet.”
72. “Just smile, I really need to see you smile right now.”
73. “I’m not wearing a dress.”
74. “I’m not wearing a tie.”
75. “Quit beating me up!”
76. “Please put your penis away.”
77. “It’s a Texas thing.”
78. “Don’t argue. Just do it.”
79. “I hope I’m never stuck with you on a deserted island.”
80. “Does he know about the baby?”
81. “Hold still.”
82. “I just ironed these pants!”
83. “Enough with the sass!”
84. “Show me what’s behind your back.”
85. “I’m not going to be sympathetic until you go to a doctor.”
86. “Fine, don’t say anything and make me worry.”
87. “Stay awake.”
88. “STOP INTERRUPTING ME!”
89. “You’re not interested, are you?”
90. “I’m not buying ikea furniture again.”
91. “Tell me you need me.”
92. “Oh honey, I’d never be jealous of you.”
93. “I’m telling you. I’m haunted.”
94. “I had a bad dream again.”
95. “Have I mentioned, I fucking hate Halloween.”
96. “It’s Christmas, don’t be mad at me.”
97. “You’re not going to starve yourself on Thanksgiving.”
98. “The store ran out of Easter eggs.”
99. “How could you forget your son’s birthday?”
100. “You can only suffer through my whining for so long until you get up and make me a sandwich.”

infinity war theory:

in the trailer, peter saying “i’m sorry” isn’t becuase he’s dying and feels like he’s failed tony. it’s because he can’t fight anymore and feels like he’s failed tony. do you guys remember in civil war when peter was slightly injured tony was just like “yoU’RE DONE!!! YOU’RE GOING HOME!!! I’M CALLING AUNT MAY!!!” peter had a black eye, maybe a minor concussion at the most, but tony is so protective over him that even the slightest injury is a big deal. he sees peter as his son and the thought of losing him terrifies him. what i think is happening in that scene is peter is badly injured and can’t go on and tony has to send him home. peter feels guilty that he can no longer be apart of the war and you cannot convince me otherwise.

You know it still Fucks Me Up To This Very day that Thor, the literal DemiGod Alien Being, was allowed to just grab Tony by the neck and choke him whilst everyone else (including his best friend(!!!!!!)) just stood around and w a t c h e d

Tony Stark: What if someone had died tonight? Different story, right? ‘Cause that’s on you. And if you die, I feel like that’s on me. I don’t need that on my conscience.
Peter Parker: I’m sorry.
Tony Stark: Sorry doesn’t matter.
Peter Parker: I- I just wanted to be like you.
Tony Stark: And I wanted you to be better. Okay, is not working out? I’m gonna need the suit back.
Peter Parker: No- no, please! This is all I have, I’m nothing without this suit!
Tony Stark: If you’re nothing without this suit, then you shouldn’t have it.

Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)

anonymous asked:

thor's short hair makes me so mad cause i first saw it and i was like "hey, chris hemsworth is doing another movie!" which is obviously a bad thing since the look of the movie doesn't give off thor vibes. i literally thought it was some sorta john carter movie im shaking in my boots I MISS THE LONG HAIR

it cracks me up that according to the marvel comics clint is taller than steve like

could u imagine steve meeting all the other avengers and hes reveling in how hes still the tallest human in the room even in the future (thor may be 6′6 but hes a god he doesnt count) and he gets to command all these short people

and then clint barton enters in all his 6′3 glory like “sup” and steve screams cause he still has the urge to assert height dominance like all short people do

Tony Stark is the type of person who would meticulously research corny dad jokes on the internet just so he can recite them to Peter during Superhero Outings and embarrass him.