not always the same person

just saw “don’t out a trans person” and “always ask someone’s pronouns” in the same list of How To Be A Good Ally and frankly…… do not always ask someone’s pronouns. please for the love of god do it in private or in an explicitly trans space and then ASK THEM WHERE/WHEN IT IS OKAY TO USE THOSE PRONOUNS. i have been stuck in very uncomfortable situations before where people have asked my pronouns and i have either had to lie or out myself when i wasn’t ready.

Concept: a TV show where every episode has a different setting, premise and genre, but it’s always the same cast of characters, with the same names, personalities, and broad-strokes backstories. Each episode begins in medias res and ends with a cliffhanger, effectively giving us dozens of individual slices from dozens of purely hypothetical storylines.

I never really thought that friend break-ups were a thing. Yeah I’ve heard people say ‘we used to be friends’ or ‘we don’t talk anymore’ but I’ve never actually pondered the ending of a friendship.

I’ve witnessed girls going through breakups, and they always talk about the same things. The way one person stops showing interest,
how they talk less, fight about stupid things, stop feeling the spark. I’ve never felt that before. Never watched a person gradually lose interest in me, text me less, stop wanting to spend every second with me.

Never until now. And god, it f*cking hurts.

Who would have thought my first heartbreak would come from my longest standing friendship? But that’s the way life works, isn’t it? You watch the one good thing you have slowly slip away until you aren’t even sure why but suddenly it’s almost out of your grasp and there’s nothing you can do but wait.

So you feel yourself waiting. Waiting for the texts to stop all together, waiting for the hangouts to become a thing of the past. Waiting for that final blow. But nothing could hurt more than the realisation that there will be no 'final blow’. Because it’s already over. And you’re not exactly sure when, or how, but you know if you stop trying now then everything will cease.

And who can you blame but yourself? And do you know what the worst part is? You can’t even be mad at the other person, because what have they done except lose interest in you? It sucks when all you want is to be by their side, to call them and text them and see them everyday, but they’re done with you. And how can you be any more than you are now, I guess you’ll just never be enough.

So you’re left mourning the end of a friendship, without even truly understanding what’s been lost.

And now your heart is f**king broken but who would even understand because are friend break-ups even a f*cking thing?

anonymous asked:

Even though Harry is my favorite actor from the cast, I think his acting is a little over the top in the sneak peek from next episode. I mean I know Magnus is dramatic, but he is sort of coming across as a caricature of who Magnus actually is in that scene.

You know, it’s interesting you point this out because I personally don’t believe this is a misstep on Harry’s part; I think this is a deliberate choice in terms of how Magnus behaves with various people. The reason I say this is because I’ve noticed it’s been a very consistent trait Harry has given Magnus when he’s around those he doesn’t fully trust or know.

I think in S1 and throughout most of 2x01, we see him largely around Alec, someone he’s willing to be more genuine with (Clary, too). But watch him in 1x04 (with Elias where he twirls like 3x in the scene, but also when he’s flirting with Alec while Jace is watching – when he flips that table with his foot, please), 1x07 where Jace and Luke are both present (Jace’s presence is usually the main factor because Magnus isn’t especially fond of Jace), 1x12 during the Institute meeting and when they’re going to find Ragnor (again, Jace (and Hodge) are present). Even the way he approaches Jace and Clary in 1x12 after the kiss is over, there’s a swagger you don’t see when his focus had been Alec.

You’re right, it’s an exaggeration and it’s not representative of who Magnus actually is. But I think that’s the point: it’s a deliberate front he puts up, a way of deflecting people from seeing the real him. Magnus does not like to be seen as who he really is. He’s an extremely guarded individual, and the hair, the makeup, the clothes, the gestures, even his speech patterns – that’s all there to shield him. The real Magnus is a privilege reserved for the rare few who have managed to sneak their way into his heart. At the time of that scene, Simon isn’t one of those people.

6

Sometimes it makes things hard, but Kuroo doesn’t really mind

For sapphics who want to raise (a) kid(s) with another woman…

Imagine the first time you’ll see your child. Whether that be from you giving birth, your wife giving birth, or the adoption being finalized. Imagine the warmth that you and your wife will both feel, the immediate feeling of unconditional love. 

Imagine your child’s first day of school. You and your wife help them pick out a cute outfit for your kid. You both fuss a bit. And when you see the bus pick them up, or when you drop them off… you can’t help but shed a few tears. You’re scared. But you’re also excited.

Imagine teaching them all the different ways love can exist, and modelling that with your own relationship. You’ll teach them that regardless of whether they fall in love with a boy, a girl, someone outside the gender binary, or nobody at all, you’ll always support them.

Imagine helping them with homework, teaching them about the world, showing them new things, helping them grow into someone more well rounded.

Imagine the fights you’ll inevitably have, but you know deep down that no matter how bad it gets, you’ll always love your child. Nothing can break that.

Imagine your child growing up. Imagining you and your wife talking about how it felt like just yesterday that they were so little. Imagine the bittersweet, but ultimately warm feeling you’ll get, knowing you raised someone so incredible. They’ll always be your baby.

Imagine them graduating high school. Imagine the pride both you and your wife will feel, the tears that will be shed as you hold each other, the way you’ll practically scream as you cheer when their name is called and they collect their diploma.

Imagine them moving out. You and your wife are old now. You look back on raising this beautiful child and all the twists and turns, the bumps on the road… and you feel so happy. You feel this overwhelming sense of joy that you got to partake in such a beautiful thing with the woman you love.

Maybe your pride and joy will get married now. Maybe they’ll give you grandkids. Ultimately, it’s up to them, because you taught them that as long as they’re happy and don’t hurt others, you’ll support whatever they choose to do in their life.

For the sapphics who want to someday have (a) kid(s) with another woman… I hope you manage to get that, and I hope it’s as wonderful as you imagine it. Remember that regardless of what bigots may say, having two mothers doesn’t have a negative effect on children… and in some ways, it’s even better. Remember that families with two moms are beautiful.

// hey guys!! there’s been a lot of negativity on the dash lately so I’m going to try something to hopefully brighten the mood! please reblog this and write in the tags something nice about the person you rebloged it from! it can be anything from how good of a writer they are to how nice they are! also, try to reblog it from people that haven’t had it rebloged from them yet so everyone can get some compliments <3

I think it’s really important to remember that Steve’s perspective, coming in to Civil War, is still very heavily influenced by WWII. The movie calls back to this significantly in a few instances, and for good reason; WWII was a global clusterfuck. Governments made bad choices, some worse than others, and a lot of people died before alliances of nations bothered to get involved. Even the ‘good guys’ made the call to drop atomic weapons, which would be a recent discovery for Steve. He was shit at taking orders then, same as now, because Steve has always done what he personally saw as right, knowing that governments and councils might not make the moral call, or might wait too long to make it. 

We see this when Tony busts out FDR’s fountain pens, apparently in some attempt to appeal to Steve’s nostalgia. But Steve has lived through the war those pens brought his country in to, and seen the far-reaching consequences of one man signing a document – it’s not something he can take lightly. 

He’s still almost on board though, until Wanda being held in the compound comes up. And the word Steve uses then is very important:

Internment.

The internment of American citizens of Japanese ancestry is not a distant memory to Steve; for him, it happened only a few years ago, and his friend and comrade-in-arms, Jim Morita, would probably have had family in internment camps. All supposedly for the greater good and safety of the nation. Steve balking and balking hard makes a lot of sense; even if Wanda is technically in a cushy situation, what happens when more enhanced people turn up? Ones Tony doesn’t have room for? What precedent is set for imprisoning them if he agrees to this? 

Steve has always been about the individual right to choose what is moral. The kid who didn’t want to kill anybody, just stop the bullies, is the same guy who doesn’t want to sign over his will and his shield to others, to step in and follow orders given to him, regardless of what they are.

(Steve remembers all too clearly the acts of men just following orders.)

anonymous asked:

Got any coming out tips?? I'm in a safe environment so I'm not at risk, but it's still difficult...

Here is literally everything I can think of about coming out:

In general:

  • Don’t come out around holidays or stressful family events
  • Be clear with the person you’re coming out to about who else you are out to so they don’t out you to other people accidentally
  • Specify what changes you want to make now, e.g. new name, new pronouns, etc.
  • Specify, if it’s appropriate (e.g. when coming out to a parent or close friend), what changes you may want to make in the future, e.g. hormones, surgery, etc. Don’t feel obligated to share this information to anyone but people you are close with.
  • Remind them that you’re still the same person you’ve always been
  • Be kind and patient with them if they are sad, confused, shocked, or scared. Don’t engage if they are hostile or refuse to even try to understand or accept you.

Coming out in person:

  • Plan what you’re going to say ahead of time. It will save you the difficulty of having to figure out how to phrase things when you’re nervous.
  • Choose a time when the person is not busy and is in a good mood
  • Try to anticipate questions they might have and plan how you will respond

Writing a letter:

  • This is a good method if you get very anxious coming out to people in person
  • Proofread and revise; try to have someone else read it if possible (you can post it (anonymously if necessary) on online support forums if you aren’t out to anyone)
  • Give it to them and then give them space to read it, but still make sure you are still accessible (personally, I went to a friend’s house, but knew my mother could call or text if she needed to; you can also just stay in your room)

Coming out on social media:

  • It’s often a good idea to tell close friends and relatives personally before coming out on social media
  • A brief post explaining the changes that need to be made (e.g. name, pronouns, gendered terms like niece/nephew, etc.) should suffice
  • You can also just change your name on the account and wait for people to catch on
  • Really, you can do anything you want. Coming out on social media is pretty flexible.
  • If you have conservative people who follow/friend you on your account, be prepared for the possibility of rude comments. Feel free to block/unfriend them.

Coming out with a powerpoint:

  • Seems oddly formal to me, but it works great for some people
  • Helps you organize your thoughts
  • You can add silly slide transitions if you want to be a bit less serious about it

If you’re nervous:

  • Deep breaths
  • Positive thoughts
  • Consider how you will respond ahead of time if people react badly, but don’t dwell on it
  • Tell someone you’re already out to so they can provide moral support

Afterwards:

  • Communicate frequently. Tell them when they do things that upset or hurt you. Ask them what you can do to make the change easier for them.
  • As long as they’re trying, be patient. Adjusting to a new name, pronouns, and way of seeing someone takes time. Give gentle reminders when they slip up.
  • Provide resources. Our resources tag (link) has info that can be helpful for families of trans people. You can also direct them to this blog to ask questions, if you think that would help.
  • Be prepared for conflict. It can take a while for people to understand.
  • Rely on your support system
  • Encourage the person/people you came out to to rely on their support system. Acknowledge that having a loved one come out as trans can be difficult or scary, but discourage them from trying to make you deal with their fears and confusion. If possible, direct them to a local support group for family and friends of trans or LGBTQ people.

Good luck!

Followers (and Kayden/Ami), if you have any other tips, let me know and I’ll add them in.

-Jesse

“I’m the same person I’ve always been. Now everything’s just out in the open.”