not a wilson quote

  • Wade: come over
  • Peter: I can't my car only has three wheels
  • Wade: Do you have a tricycle
  • Peter: You were supposed to say "but my parents aren't home"
  • Wade: I was distracted by your tricycle
  • Peter: ok, start over
  • Wade: come over
  • Peter: I can't my car only has three wheels
  • Wade: what color is your tricycle
  • Peter: fuck you
I love saying ‘fuck me’ because it can either be sexual or self-loathing and those are two things that describe me perfectly.
— 

Wade Winston Wilson, probably

Clint Barton could probably perch on top of a flagpole and nail a perfect shot if he needed to but he has definitely fallen off of his own kitchen counter when trying to reach something high up.

  • <p> <b>Tony:</b> [to Peter] So, this is how an immature, engaged, high school idiot, with no car, no job, and no money try to become a hero.<p/><b>Peter:</b> That was like eight burns in one sentence<p/><b>Wade:</b> An octo-burn.<p/></p>
  • *Violent stomping, getting louder*
  • *Wade pushes open the door wearing blinking LED sneakers*
  • Wade: I got new shoes!
  • Peter: Wade, what the fuck.
  • [texting]
  • Wade: Hey babe, are you ready for tonight?
  • Tony: Hey Wade, this is Peter's father. Do you love my son?
  • Wade: Yes, of course.
  • Tony: Would you take a bullet for him?
  • Wade: Yes...
  • Tony: Lovelly, meet me at our house in the backyard in 10 minutes.