not a pig anymore

imo dr pig never had the gravitas or iconicism of any of the sandsverse blogs or even constable-frozen. gud thing it deactivated so yall dont put that fugly pig on my dash anymore

Putting Lipstick On A Pig

by reddit user Pippinacious

Except for the whole murder thing, Courtney James seemed like a lovely young woman. She was bright, articulate, a dedicated college student and well liked waitress at a popular restaurant.

I met her when she was sitting in an interrogation room at the precinct. She was a bit on the larger side, dressed conservatively in pastel colors and minimal makeup, and when I came in, she introduced herself with a polite smile, as if we were meeting for a job interview as opposed to a police investigation. She had declined to have an attorney present, so I got right to business.

Keep reading

Dating Peter Parker Would Include
  • him telling the Avengers about you
    • he literally never shuts up about you
    • “Peter, as much as I’m enjoying this, i think Steve would enjoy this even more.”
    • “and shes so smart, maybe even smarter than me. and her y/h/c hair is so cool!……..”
    • “Why don’t you bring her in one day?”
    • “she doesn’t exactly……know about this……….yet.”
    • “TELL HER”
  • Figuring out he’s Spiderman so you never get mad when he has to leave suddenly because of some ‘important family business’ or other stupid excuses
  • ”My guinea pig just died I have to go!”
  • ”Peter you don’t have a guinea pig”
  • ”Well yeah not anymore!”
  • when he finally does tell you if takes him about 10 minutes to finally get it out
    • “I’ve known for about a month actually”
    • “And you’re not mad at me?”
    • “if I was a superhero i would wait a while before I told ANYONE. I’m just glad you trust me enough to tell me now.”
    • “this might be a little abrupt but I don’t care. I love you, y/f/n y/l/n”
    • “I love you too, Spiderboy”
    • “I’m SpiderMAN”
    • “yup”
    • him always being worried about you and you always being worried about him
  • You wanting to help him but he doesn’t want you to get hurt
    Doing it anyway
    Having to stitch him up every time he gets hurt
  • him telling you all about his adventures and missions as Spiderman, but purposely leaving out all of the parts where he gets hurt or nearly does
  • falling asleep on his couch while watching movies, probably Star Wars
  • Aunt Mae finding you late at night cuddled on the couch and has to wake you or call your parents up so they don’t get worried
  • being best friends with Michelle and Ned
  • study dates
    • most study dates turn into makeout sessions
    • Peter being really timid when touching you at all
    • “you’re allowed to touch my waist, you’re fine”
  • Mae loving so much, maybe even more than Peter
  • Meeting the Avengers but they already know everything about you from Peter.
    • “you must be y/n, born  on y/bd, your favorite color is y/f/c and your bedrrom wall are painted y/bdrm/c. Peter has told us so much about you, i took the liberty of storing all of it in a file, would you like to see?”
    • “hi, you must be Vision, I’d love to see my file”
    • your file had just about everything you had ever told Peter, except for the private stuff of course
  • you guys get married as soon as you graduate from high school and move into Avengers HQ, but you have your own wing of the floor you stay on so it’s not like you even live with them for the most part
  • Tony pretty much adopting you as a daughter he never had
  • Natasha and Wanda would be your sisters
  • Steve, and Bruce would be your wise uncles
  • Bucky and Clint woud be your super protective older brothers
  • basically joining the Avengers family, even though they would never let you go on a mission so you have to another person in a chair with Michelle and Ned

I was talking to someone recently who told me they brought their Kid (when he was young) a pig and it just sat downstairs in a cage it’s whole life and eventually got sick and passed, when I asked why they didn’t bother to take it to the vet they said it wasn’t necessary and it was just a starter pet their kid was bored with anyway.

Clearly this annoys me.

So here’s a PSA (excuse me if it’s written badly, I’ve never been good with this kind of stuff):

But as Cute and adorable as guinea pigs are, like any animal they need to go to a vet when they are sick (or in my case when they need their nail trims as well) it is NECESSARY. I kept almost all the records of my guinea pig in her entire almost 7 year life. 

for example -almost- every vet file I kept (minus some nail trim ones):

there are over 13 pieces of paper in that pile ranges from just check ups to creams for cuts and scratches to cancer surgery to her final visit where she passed.

I kept these so when people say about how easy and cheap they are I can say they aren’t. unexpected stuff will come up, it will be pricey, but they are always worth it. This doesn’t even cover all the bedding (if you use it) and hay/treats/food.

Mocha has my first real pet and the love of my life, I did go in not knowing anything or the real expense but I was in it for the long run, I loved her and come what may, I promised myself I’d never leave her. When she got cancer at 4 we did everything in our power to help her through it (including a gofundme as the price was more then we could afford at the time) even when we almost ended up moving and I was told I might have to give her up, I said I would find a way to bring her. she was going to be with me. My only wish was if she goes out, she goes out on her terms (which she did. she just couldn’t go on. but they were her terms)

We did a lot together, she helped me during the worst depressions and sicknesses while I helped her through her sickeness. we did great things together including being put in a calendar
(I have the calender somewhere but can’t find it - we only had a small photo on the back but the only guinea pig in it! that wasn’t a stock image) 

All of this was thanks to this little form I signed late one night before the store closed.

So like any pet, get them when you know your ready and you’ll take care of them not a “just for now” thing. if something happens when you can no longer take them (I won’t judge, stuff happens and sometimes giving them up is the best option) give them to a rescue, a no kill shelter, find a friend - something. do not just ditch them or leave them to die. 

unexpected expense will arise so do what you can ask for a payment plan, borrow some, start a gofundme (pro tip: if your doing this - provide proof of expenses or something. don’t play with people or scam them)

Basically just love your animal. You are everything to them. they rely on you. Love them always. They will love you unconditionally and be one of the best things in your life, Mocha was for me. I’ll miss her always but if I can convince at least one person to rethink having a “temp pet” or a “till my kid gets bored with it pet” it’s worth it. I know a lot of people make post like this but it’s worth a shot.  Sometimes i wonder what would have happened to Mocha if I didn’t adopt her, specially during her cancer issue and that thought kills me inside.

Let the pigs be loved.


Aaaaand now I made myself sad

Creepypasta #1218: Putting Lipstick On A Pig

Length: Long

Except for the whole murder thing, Courtney James seemed like a lovely young woman. She was bright, articulate, a dedicated college student and well liked waitress at a popular restaurant.

I met her when she was sitting in an interrogation room at the precinct. She was a bit on the larger side, dressed conservatively in pastel colors and minimal makeup, and when I came in, she introduced herself with a polite smile, as if we were meeting for a job interview as opposed to a police investigation. She had declined to have an attorney present, so I got right to business.

“You understand why you’re here, Miss James?” I asked, both to get it on the record and to verify for myself. It wasn’t often that I met with such calm people.

“Yes. Officer Clarent, I believe, explained it to me. He was very nice.”

“Good, good.”

“I’m sorry this has turned into such a mess.” She said.

And she really did look apologetic; not so much over what she’d done or even getting caught, but over the fact that we were now having to take our time to piece together a case against her. I’d definitely need to get a psych eval done on her.

“Why don’t you tell me about this ‘mess’. Help me understand what happened.”

“I thought you’d know already. Isn’t that why I’m here?”

“Yes, but I’d like to hear your side.”

“Oh. You mean, like, why I did it.”


She glanced contritely down at her hands, which were folded in her lap, and sighed. “Because no one else was going to.”

“Excuse me?”

“She was just going to be allowed to keep on doing what she was doing and no one was going to stop her.” She looked up and, for the first time, I saw a glint of something dark flash through her eyes. It vanished with a blink. “So I did.”

In order to move things along and, I decided to get a bit more direct with my questions. I flipped open the folder in front of me and took out a photograph to slide across the table to Courtney. “You know this girl?”

She nodded. “I did. Melissa Del Hanes.”

“How do you know her?”

“I killed her.” She said it so plainly, like it was just a routine part of her day.


“She was a classmate and customer at the restaurant where I work.”

“You see a lot of other students and customers. Why her?”

“Because she wasn’t a good person.”

Getting Courtney to talk in more than short, semi-vague sentences was a challenge. While she didn’t seem remorseful over what she’d done, she also wasn’t eager to discuss it. After a frustrating hour of back and forth during with she gave me little new information, I opened the file again and tossed another picture in front of her, one of her deceased victim as she’d been found at the crime scene.

“Let’s start over at the beginning.” I said, steering her away from the murder itself for a moment. “Where’d you get the pig face?”

“My uncle’s a butcher. I took it from his shop.”

“And why did you take it?”

“Because I finally actually wanted to do what she was always saying I did.”

“Which was?”

Courtney squared her shoulders and met my gaze steadily. “Put lipstick on a pig.”

The darkness appeared in Courtney’s eyes again and, this time, it remained. A single tear slipped down her cheek and she wiped it away hurriedly. She exhaled slowly and smoothed her blouse with exaggerated care.

“I’m sorry. You must think I’m being difficult; I don’t mean to be. It’s just that…it’s hard for me to talk about. You understand, right?” She asked.

“I understand you killed a girl who, by all accounts, didn’t do a thing to deserve it.”

“Then, with all due respect, Detective, all accounts are wrong.”

“Unless you tell me what happened, it’s all I’ve got to go on.”

Courtney leaned forward, her fists resting on the table, and her previously pleasant expression was consumed by one of trembling hurt and anger. The perception that Melissa had been a good person acted as a switch and the floodgates opened.

Once she started talking, she barely even paused for breath.

Keep reading

                                     Vikings; Revenge

❛ We have to ask the Gods for their help ❜
❛ We have to prepare sacrifices ❜
❛ What shall we sacrifice? ❜
❛ If the army fails; If they are defeated by ____  our people might never recover ❜
❛ I think ____  mean(s) ‘who shall we sacrifice?’
❛ I want to ask you something ❜
❛ Are you saying he wanted you to be our leader? ❜
❛ What? What? ❜
❛ That was the woman who made me believe I have to be King of all ____ in order to marry me ❜
❛ I think of ____ everyday of my life ❜
❛ ____ wants to lead the army ❜
❛ ____ should lead the army! ❜
❛ What did you say to ____ ? ❜
❛ I told ____ that I’ve always loved ____ ❜
❛ I’m surprised to see you ❜
❛ You saw me but you didn’t bother come to say hello ❜
❛ I wanted to marry you. You turned me down. I wasn’t important enough for you ❜
❛ Everything I have done, I have done for you, and the Gods! ❜
❛ Please don’t kill me. Please ❜
❛ You know the rules of the race, ____ , you have to serve the feast ❜
❛ It is you that is not happy, ____ ❜
❛ Something happened to you in ____ and you have not been the same ❜
❛ It’s a truth. I just don’t know what the truth is ❜
❛ You have seen all you needed to? ❜
❛ They are not as safe and secure as they think they are ❜
❛ Go and make your plans. We wait to hear of your success ❜
❛ You should have killed ____  when you had the chance ❜
❛ I love all of our Gods. All of them. But I only love two people; you, my ____, and ____ ❜
❛ If I decide not to kill ____ then no one can ❜
❛ I don’t think it’s fair that I should keep ____ to myself. It doesn’t seem right ❜
❛ I know you two like each other. I can see ❜
❛ You are talking about sharing me. How can you not be jealous? ❜
❛ Tonight you will die and feast with the Gods ❜
❛ I hope that was enjoyable, otherwise is not worth it ❜
❛ This is my decision! ❜
❛ We are all equally ____, but we are not equal in battle. So I will take the lead. I will establish the battle plans and I will give the orders, do you understand that? ❜
❛ You don’t agree ____ ? ❜
❛ I didn’t say anything ❜
❛ Your age makes you believe you know more than you do ❜
❛ What have you done? ❜
❛ What battles have you won? And what battles have you lost? ❜
❛ It is in failure, my ____, that is when we learn the most ❜
❛ You don’t want to listen, that is your choice ❜
❛ I am the leader of this great army. Me! And you will obey me! ❜
❛ I was about to receive the body and blood from Christ, our savior ❜
❛ Thank you. Now get out! ❜
❛ You should have listened to me ❜
❛ Most of my life you’ve either manipulated, or humiliated me. You used me to fulfill your ambition ❜
❛ What kind of a father are you? ❜
❛ You’re not behaving like a King anymore ❜

❛ How the little pigs will grunt when they hear how the old boar suffered ❜
❛ How much gold and silver do you want to spare my life? ❜
❛ Name your price. Anything ❜
❛ My father was worth more than gold and silver. That is not the price you must pay ❜
❛ I’ve been told your God is a carpenter and guess what? So am I ❜

quick pynch fic based on this playlist:


Ever since Gansey and Adam became friends, they started eating lunch together in the cafeteria. Which meant that Gansey did not eat with Ronan outside next to the Pig anymore. Which meant that, every week day for half an hour, Ronan sat next to Gansey and across from Adam Parrish in the midst of hundreds of other people he did not know.

This had been going on for weeks.

Ronan struggled with how he should categorize Adam in his mind in accordance to Gansey and the rest of the student body. He still didn’t know Adam well, but he could see easily why Gansey was so taken by him: he was smart, thoughtful, quiet unlike the other boys, handsome in the way that forced you to notice.

Adam was - not that Gansey thought this - a bit of an asshole, too.

Keep reading


Me, as an EXO-L when I shared to EXO’s Ko Ko Bop with my non-Kpop friends.

I don’t know what is my life anymore. :^)