not a cider guy


Hot apple cider, magickal woman style. 🍎❤️

Some kitchen witchery for you guys tonight! This is what I use to make hot apple cider. It is my FAVOURITE autumn/winter drink and it’s perfect for any meals you make for Mabon. Super uplifting and comforting! I will list ingredients and their magickal benefits here.

Pure unpasteurized apple cider - you can make this yourself but I just buy it from a local family owned apple orchard that I love supporting.

Whole Allspice - Allspice is associated with the fire element so it is physically warming as well as mentally uplifting and healing.

Cinnamon sticks/ground - Cinnamon is also associated with the fire element. Warming, uplifting, healing, promotes love. It is also known to enhance the male libido (😉)

Nutmeg - Increases clairvoyance, and clear sight. If a beverage with nutmeg is shared between you and another person, it encourages romantic love.

Apples are associated with love, fertility, marriage, and beauty. Oranges are said to bring joy. Coincidentally all of the spices I have in this recipe are great for money and love spells as well! 😊

🍎1L unpasteurized pure apple cider
Put in pot, on low heat on the stove
🍎Cut a medium orange into slices and put slices into the cider
🍎If using cinnamon sticks, you can just read put these right into the cider. If using ground, put the cinnamon, nutmeg and whole allspice into a tea bag or infuser and put into cider
🍎Leave on low heat for 15-20 minutes, stirring occasionally and serve!

Not only is this super delicious but it makes your house smell AMAZING!

Enjoy friends, blessings❤️🍎

um hi so i’m (just under) 50 away from 2k and it’d be ya know kinda cool if i could get there sometime (soon)… and yeap that’s my story (thanks for listening reading) (*awkwardly shuffles off stage ur screen*) 

Oceans Away

Also posted on my AO3 and Fanfiction accounts. Under a cut for length


“I cannot believe that you guys got me this gig!” Lance squealed, punching Hunk repeatedly in the arm as they waited for Pidge to talk to the bouncer. “Seriously, how awesome are you guys?”

“I’d be more awesome if I left with my arm intact, buddy.”

Lance grinned sheepishly and pulled his hand away, fiddling with the end of his shirt instead. “Sorry, Hunk. How do you and Pidge know about this place, anyway? I’ve never heard of-“ he squinted at the neon rainbow sign above them “-the ‘Voltron Lions’ before. It’s not a strip club, is it?”

“Lance, if this was a strip club, do you think I’d be wearing this?”

Hunk and Lance glanced up to see Pidge standing there, her brother Matt alongside her with an amused smile on his face. His arms were crossed over a plain black t-shirt that said “Hey Bartender” along the back, and he was wearing a pair of jeans and converse. Really, if Lance was being honest, the only sexy thing about the outfit was the way Matt’s biceps strained at the sleeves. “Dude, there are some people who would pay you to wear that for them. Got the whole ‘dark and dangerous’ look down.”

Matt rolled his eyes, having put up with Lance’s commentary since he was pre-pubescent. “Whatever. You want that gig or not? I convinced Allura that you were a good singer, and she’s taking my word on it. I don’t want to be out of a job if-”

“Hell yeah I’m up for it!” Lance yelped, leaning down and scrabbling with his guitar case. Hunk adjusted his grip on the cart that was tugging their equipment and they followed Matt and Pidge inside, nodding to the mustached bouncer as they passed. He gave Lance a smile, eyes twinkling almost dangerously, and Lance decided it was probably best not to tease the guy about his facial hair.

“Allura’s over there,” Matt said, pointing to the stage. A dark skinned young woman was bent over something, platinum white hair pulled back into a ponytail and hands clenched around a pair of pliers. “Our mic stand keeps slipping, so she’s trying to fix it.”

“I’ll go help her,” Pidge offered, darting away before anyone could argue.

Lance glanced around the room curiously while Matt led them to the back room that was used to store the band’s equipment when they had live music.

It was very clearly a nightclub that you had to hear about to get in, as there weren’t all that many people there yet. Granted it was only about 9:30, but still. The dance floor was checkered with red, black, and white tiles, and the floor was lit with yellow, blue, and green lights that flashed in time with the music. A couple of people hovered around the edges, like they wanted to dance but weren’t quite sure if it was socially acceptable yet.

The main dining area, or at least, the area with the most tables and booths, was decorated in a futuristic chrome-y way, strips of pink and pale orange running up and down the booths and the chairs decorated with the same colors over white fabric.

Lions were all over the place; stuffed lions, photos of lions, sculptures, statues, female, male. A few patrons that passed Lance held glasses with roaring lion heads etched into them.

“What’s with the lion theme?” Lance found himself asking.

Matt chuckled. “Allura’s father, who owned the place before her, was super into lions and lion conservation. He was a zookeeper before he opened here, if you’d believe that. Actually, all of our tips we get go to zoos that preserve the lion population.”

“That’s really cool,” Hunk noted. “So like, Asiatic lions, or-?”

Lance tuned them out, finding the bar in the center of the room and running his eyes appreciatively over the body of the other bartender there, his arms bulging even more than Matt’s and his low slung jeans clinging to a nicely sculpted-


Keep reading


More silly doodles of this silly au, this time with extended family,

Okay so, Starting with the Apple Family, or in this case I would call them the Cider Family? This family was made for the city, always rearing to jump into the hustle and bustle with that famous Manehattan attitude.  Granny Smith is a world renowned graphic designer, food critic as well as a world traveler. Mac, still a man of few words, lets his artistic works speak for him. He is known in the art scene for his sculptures and is a frequenter of the underground scene with his poetry. Applebloom is your typical go-getter city gal with never a moment to spare in the big apple.

As for Rarity and her family, I have yet to figure out what Rarity’s folks would be like but I imagine Sweetie Belle being a little more scruff, always trying to prove herself to Ivory by showing how tough she is. Ivory still won’t let her into the caves though, not with those spaghetti arms…

To be frank I don’t think Applebloom and Sweetie Belle have changed much personality wise, just placed into a different setting.

Also again, if you guys have any ideas for names for Sparkling Cider and Ivory’s family members feel free to share!

Edit: Marble is a fitting name for Sweetie Belle, thanks Glitch!

Edit 2: “Mulled Cider for Big Mac, Apple Spritzer for AB” Sounds good Mroreoman, thanks again!

Edit 3: I’m going to call this Granny Smith “Madam Applecrest” combined with a suggestion from mlpzebastian. 


Wanna be your star!

인간사이다 같이 청량한 여섯남자!
아스트로의 카카오톡 플러스 친구 계정이 오픈되었습니다!

다가오는 5월 29일 ‘Baby’ 로 컴백하는 아스트로의 소식과
플친들만 볼 수 있는 스페셜 컨텐츠도 준비되어 있으니
많~은 관심과 사랑 부탁드립니다.
곧 아스트로의 새로운 소식으로 만나요~♥


Wanna be your star!

6 refreshing guys as fresh as human cider!
ASTRO’s Kakao Talk Plus Friend Account has been officially created!

There will be news of these hot guys of ASTRO who will be coming back this 29th May with “BABY”. There is also special content that is only available for Plus Friend, so we’re hoping for a lot of interest and love.

Let’s meet with next ASTRO’s news soon~♥

trans via astrodaily

Wedding Date

Requested by anonymous: Hi!! Can i request one where you’re going to a wedding and shawn is your best friend so you bring him as your date and all your family members are thinking he’s your boyfriend and it makes you guys question your relationship thaaaanks   

Note: This one is a little longer, but I had fun writing this and hope you guys enjoy :)


You roll your  eyes for what feels like the hundred time in the past twenty minutes. You, your mother and your sister were gathered together at your dining table arranging centerpieces for the tables at your sister’s wedding. They constantly asked you if you were going to have a date to the wedding since you were the Maid of Honor and apparently that meant you had to have a date.

“Y/N, we just think it would be nice of you to bring someone, that’s all.” Your sister Emma simply shrugs, tying some twine around some flowers.

“Em, your wedding is tomorrow, who am I going to take?” You ask her, hostility evident in your voice.

“I don’t know, jeez, I’m just saying. You’ll probably be grateful that you brought one.” Emma says, her eyes widening at your tone.

“Y/N, please be nice to your sister. She’s simply trying to help you.” Your mother defended Emma, raising an eyebrow at you.

You scoff, not retaliating any comments to them and continued to tie flowers together. An hour passed and you had still not said anything, making your sister and mom uncomfortable. But, you didn’t care. Let them be uncomfortable.

Your phone buzzed, indicating you had an incoming text and you stop what you’re doing to look at it.

Shawnie boy:  hey, you up for a little study group at my house? we have that huge chem test on Monday and you’re a genius at chem, pls help? I want to pass lol

You  laugh at your best friend’s low confidence in himself and start to get up, telling him you’ll be there in ten minutes. 

It takes you a second to find your chem textbook, but when you do, you get everything ready to head over to Shawn’s.

“Where are you headed off to?” You mom asks, noticing that you’ve put your shoes and puffy jacket on, as well as gathered your schoolwork.

“Shawn’s,” you reply, grabbing your car keys. “He needs help with some chem homework.”

“Oh my god, Y/N!” Emma shouts, startling you. “You could take Shawn to the wedding with you! Why didn’t I think of that sooner?”

You shake your head, “I’ll be home before nine.”

“Wait, you won’t be coming home for dinner?” You mom asks you.

“Nope, the Mendes household is having tacos tonight, I think I’ll stay over there. See you guys later!” You say, not waiting for an answer as you shut the front door behind you and drive off in your car.

You arrive at the Mendes house in a little under fifteen minutes, making your way to the front door. You knock, knowing you can’t open it with all this work in your hands.

Manny opens the door, smiling as he sees you.

“Very nice to see you Y/N! Come on in, it’s cold out tonight.”

You thank him, entering the warm house.

“Shawn’s in his room and dinner will be ready in forty minutes if you’re staying.”

“Sounds perfect, thank you Manny!” You smile at Shawn’s father and make your way up to Shawn’s room. There, you can see him visibly struggling with whatever problem has been presented to him.

“Ah, thank god you’re here Y/N, I think I’m starting to get an aneurysm.” He ruffles his dark brown hair with his hands and you laugh.

“You can’t get an aneurysm from that, Shawn.”

You plop all of your stuff on Shawn’s bed and he then becomes extremely alarmed.

“Why’d you bring all this shit?” He asks, looking even more stressed out.

“To help you, Shawn, calm down, drama queen.”

You take a seat on his bed and let the studying begin. About ten minutes in to trying to match formulas to compounds, he practically begs you for a break.

Granted, you’re not a complete monster, so you allow him to have one, but he wants to talk about things you don’t.

“How’s the wedding going, Maid of Honor?” He smirks, knowing it’ll piss you off.

You groan, shoving your face into a pillow on his bed, not wanting to answer the question or talk about the god forsaken wedding.

“Oh come on, it can’t be that bad.” Shawn rolls over onto his stomach, looking at you seriously.

You sit up suddenly, because, yes, it is that bad.

“Shawn, Emma is one second away from turning into a freaking bridezilla.” You’re about ready to tell him all about how your mom and sister won’t stop asking you about a date, but you stop. Maybe, it’s not such a bad idea to ask Shawn. I mean, he is your best friend, right? The worst he could do is say no.

He laughs at your comment about your sister becoming a bridezilla, but looks a little confused when you seem like you want to say something but don’t.

“What, Y/N?” He smiles.

“Do you…uh,” you stop, not looking at him in the eye. Maybe this was a bad idea? Yeah, bad idea, forget about it.

“Do I what?” He pushes, making you rethink very quickly about your decision.

“Do you maybe want to be my date? I know it’s last minute and all so you don’t have to, it was just a question. You totally can turn it down if you want to, it was just a question so no hard feelin-”

“Y/N.” Shawn interrupts you. “I would love to be your date, jeez. You don’t have to blow chunks by asking me that.” He chuckles.

Your skin heats up as you’re slightly embarrassed, but he said yes.

“Good, so do you have a suit?” You ask him, knowing that the wedding is tomorrow.

“Do I have a suit? Seriously? You are talking to the king of suits.”

You laugh at how weird he’s being and smile, thankful for your best friend.


It was finally your sister’s wedding and let’s just say - she made this so much more difficult than it actually had to be. When you, Emma and your mom arrived at the venue, your sister almost started crying because they put up black balloons by the front doors instead of gray ones. You told her that they were just balloons and she responded with an icy glare, stating that they were “not. just. balloons.”  

However, things mellowed down as she began to get ready, knowing that after today, she’s not going to care what color the balloons were.

Emma had requested the help of a professional “beautification squad,” who were doing the bride’s, bridesmaids and your hair.

After they had gotten finished with your makeup, they did your hair, leaving it in a half up -half down curled bun. You actually thought you looked pretty damn good for having your makeup and hair done by your sister’s “beautification squad.”

The bridesmaid and Maid of Honor dresses were the same, except instead of your dress being a dusty grey, it was a pastel pink. You did think that your sister had very good taste in what she picked for everyone.

As everyone was almost done, you received a text from Shawn, letting you know that he was here.

You left the room where everyone was getting ready and noticed him standing by the foyer. And - holy crap, did he look good.

He was dressed in a full black suit, which in your opinion, was going to make him upstage the groom. His brown eyes glistened under the fairy lights that hang from the ceiling and as he caught sight of you, his jaw practically dropped.

For some reason, you felt extremely self conscious and nervous and you cared about his opinion on if you looked good or not.

Judging by the way he looked at you, you were either so hideous that he couldn’t look away, or you looked better than you thought you did.

The thing about you and Shawn’s friendship is that you never lied to each other, you could always count on him giving it straight to you.

You walked towards him and when you stopped, he finally spoke.

“God, Y/N, you look stunning.”

A huge smile erupted on your face as you hugged him.

“You clean up very well, yourself.” You tell him. “Come on,” you link arms with him. “The ceremony is about to start which means you’re sitting by yourself or next to my crazy family members.”

He just laughs, following your lead.

You weren’t going to lie, seeing your sister walk down the aisle and recite her vows and then well - get married, made you tear up. She is your sister after all, you two grew up together and are the best friends that you wish every sibling had.

The reception started slowly after, Shawn never leaving your side and thankfully, had his seat next to you as well.

“It was a beautiful ceremony.” Shawn commented, taking a sip of the sparkling cider in his crystal glass.

“It was.” You smile, doing the same as you two ate the food provided.

“Do you know where the bathroom is? A guy can only take so much cider.” You laugh, pointing him in the direction of the restrooms before he places a hand on your shoulder and gets up, leaving the room.

“Y/N!” You hear from across the room and you look up, noticing your some of your aunts and cousins, headed your way.

You stood, excited to talk to them after not being able to see them in so long.

“So, uh, who’s the boy?” Your aunt asks you, wiggling her eyebrows. “He’s cute.”

You just smirk, silently agreeing that he was.

“What’s your boyfriend’s name?” One of your cousins ask and you have a weird sensation in your gut, almost as if you weren’t supposed to tell them that he wasn’t your boyfriend.

“Shawn.” You respond, receiving ‘ooh’s’ from your family.

“You two are so cute together, I mean the way he looks at you makes me want to die!”

You’re slightly confused, not knowing what way Shawn looks at you like, but ignore it.

“You two do make a very good couple. Perhaps the next Y/L/N wedding?”

You almost choke on air.

“No, no. Shawn and I aren’t actually-”

“Hello, ladies.”

You look up, seeing Shawn enter the circle your cousins and aunts have made by you and you see some cousins look him up and down, smiling to themselves.

“Shawn right? We were just telling your girlfriend how cute you are together! And why we didn’t hear about you two sooner is honestly a shame. A great shame!”

Shawn scrunches his eyebrows together in a confused manner and looks at you while somehow, your family members disappear around you. 

It was awkward for a second between you two and you knew you had to clear it up.

“I tried to tell them that we weren’t together-” you rushed out, not wanting Shawn to think you were telling people that you two were together.

“Maybe we should be.”

To that, you were surprised and didn’t know what to say. Was he being serious? Your skin suddenly felt as if it were on fire and you’d be lying if you said the thought hadn’t crossed your mind a couple times. But then Lauren came along and you thought you had lost all chances with him.

“What- what do you mean?” You stutter.

“I mean,” Shawn sighed, taking your hands in his before continuing his sentence. “Maybe we should be. Together, I mean. I thought I was making it obvious that I like you?”

Oh god, he likes you and you feel as if you were dreaming.

“You could’ve made it a little more obvious.” You chuckle, trying to act as if your thoughts weren’t all jumbled up in your head.

“Well,” he paused. “Then let me make it more obvious. Y/N Y/L/N, I like you and would love if you went out on a date with me.” He smiled cutely, not showing his teeth and you could tell that he was trying to keep it together.

“I would also love that.” You smiled as he embraced you.

You sister had been right all along, you were thankful you had brought a date tonight.          

0utofbody  asked:


-you both DEADASS buy ALL the fruit + snack platters and have a mini party in the living room
- bust out the cider cause y'all WILDIN
- you guys can’t stop dancing to the recent music and get so hyped you just fuCKnIg diE
- there’s like what; 14 to 15 pineapples, grapes, and strawberries on the ground now?
- there you are laying on the floor, with your blue skyscraper bf, locked in arms next to you, neither of you actually sleep

- Murdoc himself already parties like a bad mf so now with you around, he has something extra in mind 👀
- there is so much,, SO much beer involved
- it goes back and forth from kissing, to dancing, to kissing, near mouth fucking, to evidently doing a live stream of ALL 3
- you both end the stream, throats strained from belching out “THE SKY’S FALLING BABY DROP THAT WAS FORE’ IT CRASH” 656,594,48393 times
- you roll to him and just straddle his lap, out of breath

- d UDE
- you aren’t even home bRO you guys are OUTSIDE ILLEGALLY USING FIREWORKS
- you both have wine in hand, hearing dogs scream and the sound of all the popping
- neither of you give a shit at this point THE ALBUM IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE DOG
- you end your somewhat legal firework show with a big ol’ kiss !!
- you come back inside and continue to get wine drunk

- did you just call me rissle
- Russel typically is relatively chill, but OH BOY not TONIGHT
- you guys get TEA DRUNK
- you can’t stop dancing!! You and your big loving bf!! “ALL MY LOIFE”
- after maybe and hour or two of legitimately NOTHINg of rigorous dancing and tea-sippin, you breakdown on the bed in a strong, wholesome cuddle

captainalinjastars  asked:

Well, if we're talking about drinking, I'd like ask: what type of alcohol "adult" part of series would prefer: Kakashi, Asuma, Kurenai, Guy, Genma, Iruka, Yamato, Jiraya, Tsunade, Shizune (Of coursr, please do the caracters you've met already)?

I thought long and hard about this and I’m pretty confident with my answers. I had to do some serious research for these headcanons.

Naruto Adults’ Favorite Alcoholic Beverages

Kakashi loves Hennessy Black. It’s sleek black packaging is very appealing to the eye. He prefers to drink it over ice. While it can have a variety of undertones in its flavors, Kakashi tends to notice the honey taste more than the others. 

Asuma is a beer drinker. His favorite is actually Irish Dry Stout. It’s dark in color and it goes well with the barbecue he often eats with Team 10. It’s a little bitter in flavor, which mixes well on his palate with the taste of cigarettes.

Kurenai likes her red wine, particularly Pinot Noir. This wine pairs well with a variety of different foods, especially with Japanese dishes like sushi and salmon. She likes how delicate it is as a beverage and how she can easily pick out the fruity aromas like strawberry or plum. 

Guy likes hard cider. He finds the crisp apple flavors to be very refreshing after a long day of training. It can cool him down and stimulate his tastebuds without making him so drunk he can’t function. 

Genma prefers bourbon - the kind that will instantly make you grow chest hair with how much it burns on the way down. He likes the kind that has aged a bit more so he can really pick out the vanilla notes that he can’t find in younger whiskies. 

Iruka loves Baileys Irish Cream. While he has tried many flavors of this liqueur, he tends to stick with the original cream. To Iruka, nothing is more relaxing than coming home after a long day and brewing a cup of dark roast coffee and pouring two shots of Baileys in. It’s not the strongest alcohol, which he appreciates, but it definitely helps put him to sleep when he needs it.

Yamato actually appreciates white wine. His favorite kind is Gewürztraminer, a German wine. It is very sweet and pairs well with Asian cuisine. He likes to sip it over dinner. He likes the hint of peach flavor in the wine and likes how dry it is.

Jiraiya loves Belgian Quadrupel beer. Pairing well with smoked meats, Jiraiya can often be seen with his type of alcohol at his table. He likes the sweetness of brown sugar that he can taste. It has a high alcohol percentage, so it usually doesn’t take him long to feel the effects.

Tsunade really enjoys white wine, particularly the more velvety kinds of Chardonnay. It goes down smoother than usual dry wines and has bold hints of citrus flavors. On occasion she will drink the fresh barreled kind for the taste of vanilla and coconut. She can go through two bottles in one night if she isn’t careful. 

Shizune loves Merlot red wine. It’s a softer wine which she only drinks on the occasion where she needs a hardcore relaxation period. She likes how she can taste plums and other herbs on her tastesbuds. It was this wine that really introduced her to alcohol when she became old enough to drink. 

Game of thrones alcoholic head canons

Sansa: The kind of girl who orders a cosmopolitan because she’s heard about it on TV and carrie bradshaw drinks it. Will get the trendiest cocktail at the time no matter what the cost, so right now, her thing would be esspresso martini’s. Also likes sweet champagne like prosecco, and she’s a giggly drunk, and her long legs work against her as she exits across the club dancefloor like bambi on ice.

Petyr baelish: One of those guys who has a room in his house just to age his wine, actually takes note of the vintage, and buys bottles that cost more than your first car. You know this, because he insists on telling you. Is the one buying Sansa’s expensive cocktails and assisting her across the dancefloor.

Arya: can’t bring herself to like beer unless it’s all Gendry’s bought to the party and theres nothing else to scab. If she has enough money of her own she gets cider. If any of the guys give her shit for drinking blackcurrent flavoured somersby she threatens to glass them. They TASTE good! shut up!

Jamie: long island ice teas. Because he has a lot of problems and he want to forget them.

brienne: Just a coke with a straw. she is Jamies designated driver. Can she get some peanuts too please? In like a little bowl? Thanks.

Tywin: Straight whisky without mixers, no ice, just fucking straight up Glenfiddich 50 year old whisky that cost him a casual $16 000 and sits in a decanter on a proper bar cart he keeps in his study.

cersei: would filter the alcoholic content from a bottle of nail polish remover, lets not play here

Ramsey: *drinks an entire gallon of PCP and has the police called on him when he tries to throw his room mate out their apartment window after he ate all their pet fish*

anonymous asked:



“Rejection”; Chapter Six

NOTES: Wowie, humans! This story is going better than I thought it’d be. Thank you! More bad language in this chapter, and it’s probably going to be like that throughout the whole story. What can I say; I have a thing for curses. Pretty long chapter today, just cause I felt like it. Enjoy!

(Once again, “(Y/N)” means “Your name”. Just a reminder, in case any newcomers stop by to read!  (◕ω◕✿) )


His eyes narrowed, and studied your figures intently. Finally setting you down after a few moments, he pointed to the kitchen. “GO SIT DOWN AND WAIT FOR DINNER. I CAN’T HAVE EITHER OF YOU MAKING ANYMORE OF A MESS IN HERE, NOR DO I NEED TO HEAR ANYMORE OF YOUR PUNS.” Papyrus glared directly at you, which made you giggle. Sans walked past you, entering the kitchen, while you stayed behind with Papyrus.


He winked at the part where he mentioned Sans, and you blushed brightly. “A-are you sure?” You stammered, cringing at your awkwardness. Papyrus outstretched his arms, and you gladly accepted his offer for a hug. “I’M POSITIVE! I’LL BE IN THERE SOON. THIS WON’T TAKE LONG.” He held you tightly against his armor, and you smiled. Papyrus was such a sweetheart. After you let go, you wove to him and made your way to the kitchen. The subconscious of your mind was happy for a break from the depression you were in. You wondered Sans felt the same way.

Sans took a seat at the the right seat next to the head of the oak table, and tapped his fingers impatiently. He leaned on his right fist, and mindlessly started tapping his foot. Just when he looked to see why (Y/N) wasn’t there yet (it’s literally a five foot walk), he picked up on a little of her and Papyrus’s conversation. Listening carefully to their words, he smiled when she asked if she could help.

i knew she wasn’t that bad of a person. As he was about to argue against it, thinking that she might just be messing with him and making him believe she was good, (Y/N) accepted Papyrus’s offer for a bear hug. And it looked pretty damn genuine from where he sat. Calling off his nerves, he lost some of the concern that had begun to eat away from inside his soul earlier when he had to show the human who was the boss around here.

You practically skipped into the kitchen, only to find Sans watching you once more. Observing. Analyzing. Taking mental notes, if you will. Your cheeks stayed at their high temperature, and you pulled out the chair across from Sans. However, it pulled backwards as soon as you went to sit down on it, and your butt hit the hard tile with a thump. “Ow!” You cried out, but Sans chuckled under his breath. You got up, and gave him a playful glare. This time, you made sure that the chair wouldn’t run out from under you.

“i’m just messing with ya, ki- er, (y/n).” Sans corrected himself, and you nod in approval. You leaned forward quickly, resting your elbows on the table and smirking at the small skeleton in front of you. “Are we going to finish our conversation? Or are we gonna talk about something different?” Sans responded with a shrug, and you squint curiously at him. “eh, i don’t care. if you want to, but i feel like it’s gonna mainly be insults about me and how i can’t guess age for shit.”

You winked, and sat up straight. “Damn right it was gonna be.” “ay, watch your fucking language.” Sans snapped playfully, and pretended to give you an evil glare. You scoffed, and shot right back at him. “Wouldn’t that be reading, wise guy?” Sans opened his eyes, looking as if he were about to snarl back a good comeback. It never came, and he sat in silence. However, that didn’t mean he wasn’t was determined to make sure you wouldn’t win this feud.

He ruffled his jacket like a gangster would, and propped an arm up on the table. “you think you’re so clever. but can you think of a good comeback for this?” Suddenly Sans stood up from his seat and teleported out to the living room. As soon as he left he was back again, holding that half empty bottle of ketchup. You raised a brow, and inspected it. “It’s a bottle of ketchup.” Sans rolled his eyes, and crossed his arms. “no duh.” You winced at him, and an incredulous look spread to your ears.

“What the heck am I supposed to do with this?” Sans gazed at you with half lidded eyes as if you were an idiot. “you eat it. jeez, and i thought you were this wise human that knew everything-” “I KNOW THAT YOU EAT IT!” You shouted with frustration, nearly breaking the bottle in two. A little crack spread across the surface, and Sans’ eyes widened. Then he went back to his sarcastic and carefree attitude. “so do it.” “Do what?” He smiles, and raises a non existent eyebrow. “eat it. the whole bottle.”

You contorted a face of pure disgust, and shoved the damaged glass container away. It bumped into Sans’ jacket, which he took in his hand and examined. On the outside, he had a poker face on so strong he didn’t think that you realized how shocked he was that you actually cracked the thing. It would at least had to take him in his most fearsome state to shatter it just like you did, where no amount of physical pain or struggle mattered to him.

“what? are you too chicken?” Sans smiled, thinking that would affect (Y/N) like it would Undyne. Undyne would never let a challenge go down. Neither would Frisk or Papyrus. But (Y/N) just rolled her eyes, and remained firm in her seat. “Don’t even start with that crap, Sans. I’m not a chicken. I just think that drinking ketchup like you is a feat that can only be done with monsters who have no tongue or tastebuds.”

Sans made a couple of chicken and rooster noises to try and change the girl’s mind, but she was stubborn. No matter how much he beckoned, she would not take the condiment and down it. He frowned, and uncapped the bottle. “who said that monsters don’t have tongues?” (Y/N) tilted her head, and whispered a quiet “what?” under her breath.  “Well, one: you’re a skeleton. You are made up of bones, and bones only. The tongue is a muscle, which doesn’t classify as a bone. Two: apparently monsters don’t have tongues if you guys eat weird and gross food like cider made out of spiders or snail pie! Gross!”

You blanched, and stuck out a tongue for drama. Sans looked like he could care less about what you thought, and shrugged. “you’re wrong about both of those statements. welp, more for me.” And then it was….gone. Just gone. You scoot your seat forward, watching the ketchup go straight through his teeth like water. You stared at his spine where his neck should be, and saw how it was moving; just…no ketchup was coming out. It’s like the ketchup was turned invisible on its way down.

After he guzzled the empty glass with the words, “Grillby’s” in a fancy calligraphy, your jaw gaped open with utter amazement and shock. Sans wiped his mouth, and flinched when he saw how intently you were staring at him. His cheekbones tinted a slight blue from all the attention, and rubbed the back of his skull sheepishly. “no manners when others are eating either, huh?” He commented, which snapped you out of your dumbfounded stupor.

“How did you do that?!” You asked excitedly, your grin spreading to one the size of a plate. Your eyes were saucers, and you’re sure Sans was creeped out by it… but you were so astounded that you wanted answers immediately. “uh…do what?” He stuttered, and looked back at the living room for Papyrus. His brother was on his way over, and Sans was relieved that he wouldn’t have to handle this topic on his own.

(Y/N) gave him an aggravated but stunned look. “You know exactly what! How do you eat?! The ketchup…it just went...fwoosh! Right through your teeth! How’s that even possible?! It’s just- I just- gah!” She threw her hands up in the air, and Sans grinned contently at her amazement. Frisk had asked this question too, but Sans just gave her a simple answer that he thought (Y/N) would smack him for.

She went silent, and left Sans on his own. Papyrus walked behind her, but she didn’t notice. Her eyes were focused on Sans’ eye sockets, it was actually quite unnerving. Sans sweat nervously, but he didn’t know why. just answer it like you always do, man. Sans told himself, and managed to speak. With a wave of some jazz hands, he smirked as (Y/N) glared at him with annoyance. “magic.” He stated, and refused to elaborate any further. Guess he didn’t need Papyrus’s help after all.

She growled angrily, and turned around in her seat to face Papyrus. so she had noticed him. Sans thought bluntly, and crossed his leg over the other. He watched (Y/N) whine to his bro the same question she’d just asked him, but unlike the short skeleton Papyrus went into a whole spiel about it. With the amount of infatuation the human held, Sans thought she would fall out of her seat just by leaning into Paps’ words.

“SO BASICALLY, WE PUT THE FOOD INTO OUR MOUTHS…” Papyrus started off, and you rolled your eyes. “I think I got that already. But where does go?” Papyrus pointed to his abdomen, and she glanced downwards. “AS YOU CAN SEE, WE HAVE NO STOMACHS. BUT THAT’S OK, SINCE MONSTER FOOD IS MADE UP OF MOSTLY MAGIC AND DISAPPEARS ONCE YOUR BODY ABSORBS THE FOOD’S CALORIES.”

You blinked into space for a few seconds, then asked another vital question. “If it just…vanishes, why do you guys have a bathroom?” Papyrus posed heroically, and his cape flowed behind him with the draft coming from the window. You didn’t understand why the window was open in the first place, since Snowdin was still in the middle of a bad snowstorm. “I LIKE TO TAKE SHOWERS WITH MY COSTUME ON! ALSO, I LIKE TO BRUSH MY TEETH AFTER DINNER ANYWAYS! SANS DOES TOO.”

You switched your attention back to Sans, who nodded in agreement. You gave him another incredulous look, and he stared right back at you with a “oh, come on!” glare. “what? i like to have good hygiene just as much as the next guy. i’m not overly clean; just enough.” Papyrus laughed, and it scared you for a second. “TELL THAT TO YOUR ROOM. IT IS ONE HECK OF A MESS IN THERE COMPARED TO MINE. PLUS THE FACT THAT YOU NEVER WASH YOUR SHIRTS OR SHORTS-” Sans stood up immediately, and tried reaching to his brother’s mouth to close it.

Since Papyrus was over a foot taller, the action was pointless. “paps, shut up! my room is fine! and i do wash my clothes. i’m not a hobo or somethin’.” Papyrus shoved him backwards, and proceeded to take out some more pans and ingredients for a new batch of pasta. “YOU ARE A SACK OF LAZY BONES, BROTHER.” You snort at that, and Sans threw you a warning look to stay on his side. Of course, you didn’t.

How lazy, Papyrus?” You asked sweetly, and the taller skeleton whizzed around quickly. He laid his hand on his hips, and began to list off all the things Sans doesn’t do. “WHAT DOES SANS DO? BESIDES GO TO GRILLBY’S, OF COURSE. EVERY MORNING, I ALWAYS HAVE TO WAKE HIM UP FOR SENTRY DUTY, AND MAKE HIS MEALS! SANS ALWAYS FALLS ASLEEP AT HIS STATION, AND NEVER RECALIBRATES HIS PUZZLES!”

You laughed hard to Papyrus’s burns, but Sans did not. He had been begging his brother to stop, but eventually quit and simply let his brother ramble onwards. That didn’t get you off the hook though, as you were the one who encouraged it. Sans teleported over to you, and looked down upon your curvy figure with dark, empty eye sockets. Normally, you would’ve been frightened, but Paps was in the room. Sans couldn’t harm you in front of his innocent brother.

Knowing this, you smirked a shit eating grin and got out of you seat. “oh no you don’t.” Sans murmured loud enough for only you to hear, and you ran around to the opposite side of the table from him. There was a good six feet between the two of you, so you continued to taunt him. It was like asking for a Death Wish, but you didn’t care. You were being dangerous, but with fact that Papyrus was there you knew you weren’t in too much trouble.

“So what you are saying is that Sans is a baby that constantly needs the Great Papyrus’s help changing his diaper?” You spat evilly, and Papyrus laughed from across the room. He was cutting up different sorts of vegetables together, and let out a gleeful “Nyeh-heh-heh!” “EXACTLY. YOU TOTALLY UNDERSTAND ME, DEAR (Nickname).” You smiled at Paps’ compliment, but flinched when you looked at Sans again.

His face was a dark blue from embarrassment, and if looks could kill, you would be minced meat. A sinister aura floated off him, and you gulped. His eye sockets were pitch black, and a teal flame flickered violently in his left eye. He teleported beside you, but instinctively you jumped over a chair and hid behind Papyrus for protection.

Clinging onto his scarf, Papyrus looked down at you and smiled. “WHAT’S THE MATTER, (Nickname)? IS SOMETHING WRONG?” You shook your head “no”, but Papyrus didn’t believe you. “NO, THERE MUST BE IF YOU WANTED MY ATTENTION! IS THERE SOMETHING MISSING FROM THE PASTA?” You prayed that he would disagree, since Sans had teleported right after you dodged his first grab at your hair and was now approaching me fast.

But, of course, luck was not on your side. “WAIT! I’M MISSING THE MOST IMPORTANT PART! I’LL GO RUN TO THE STORE. TIME ME!” He shouted, and bolted out the door, leaving you in the dust. Well, fuck. You thought, and the lights to the kitchen flickered on and off creepily. One second, Sans was just standing there with a horrifying expression by the table. When the lights went off, he teleported away and left you with an overwhelming eerie feeling in the kitchen.




Chapter Ten (Where all the chapters before that are.)

Chapter Twenty (Links for Chapters 11 –> 19)