is like looking behind-the-scenes and when you return to the actual books all the encounters between those specific characters that were also in the fanfic feel so fucking sexual like they’re trying to cover up what they just did (but didn’t actually do) like “oh let’s just pretend that I didn’t squeeze my dick up your left nostil and resume our burning hatred for each other” naaaaaahh son you know full on that you had your dick in full jet mode don’t even try to deny ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I have corn rows right now lawl. Today was alright, Russ is downloading Terraria for the psp, it’ll be the third copy for third console he’s purchased this game on now…. Addict? I believe so. @russdawgunlimited
24. Dragon’s Heart Wanda is a dragon and Steve is a dragon hunter.
Life was peaceful as a dragon. Even more so when you could go disguised as a mere human at your pleasure. You weren’t disturbed and you got all the gold and could steal all the princesses you wanted. Gold was better in the claws of a dragon than in the hands of a human. Greedy and rude and it just brought sorrow to all of those who had and didn’t.
Normally, she could rest in peace. Quietly napping on all the gold she had collected over the years. She could have a nap in the middle of the day and nobody would know. Today was different though. She could hear someone approaching. She lifted her head, a puff of smoke escaping her nostils. Who was disturbing her? Who thought that it was okay to enter a dragon’s lair without invitation?
A man, clad in armour, walked up to the opening of her cave and Wanda breathed out a hot puff of air. Warning him to stay back. Her ruby eyes glowed in the dimness and she took a few slow steps towards him.
Quickly, she snapped her neck forward, maw open, teeth bared. She snapped them shut mere inches away from his body. A puff of air left her, smoky, dancing with sparks.
“Brave little thing, you are. To enter a dragon’s lair…or perhaps you are a fool.”
They’d offered him a fourth of what the dragon owned, with a choice of what went into it. If the legends were true, then it was enough to purchase a large castle near the coast and persuade a royal woman into marriage. But he wasn’t in for the riches. The dragon had taken several lives, so the story went. That alone was enough to convince him to take the task.
The cave was easy enough to navigate. The dragon itself let out smoke with every breath, so he followed the smell of fire until he came to the lair.
He stops, a few yards from the beast. He stands still as he gazes upon the magnificent creature in front of him. He’ll admit, he was expecting a beast far beyond beauty, an ugly beast. And he’ll also admit that he was wrong. He stares at it, in awe of the sheer mass and gracefulness the dragon possesses. In a word, beautiful. He hadn’t walked into the cave expecting to call his death beautiful, but alas, here he is.
He almost startles when he hears it speak, the voice of a woman coming from heavily armoured jaws. He stands still as she snaps at him, too far in to back down now. “Foolishly brave, perhaps,” he corrects, looking up at her.