nosh it

there was a golden age superman comic where someone called a hit out on clark kent, and so a sniper tried to shoot him while he was out having lunch with lois

except he’s fucking superman so the bullets just fell off his chest into his lunch and clark just had to pretend nothing happened and hope lois wouldn’t notice that someone just fucking shot him

the hitman thinks maybe he just missed and gets ready to shoot him again, but then he’s watching through the scope as clark starts to eat the fucking bullets to hide the fucking evidence, acting like everything is totally normal as he noshes down on lead

dude just packs his shit up and leaves town because reporters in this city eat bullets for lunch and he’s not fucking with that no way no how

10

female awesome meme ♡ [1/5] lgbt+ ladies

emily fields (pretty little liars) - i’m not ashamed of who i am…but i used to be, and if we have to hide like this all the time, i’m gonna start to feel like that again. 

lovely-lo  asked:

¡Buenos días!/¡Buenas noshes! (No sé cómo está el tiempo en México) Yo tengo problema con la diferencia entre el Pretérito Indefinido, el Pretérito Imperfecto y el Pretérito Perfecto. ¿Puede explicar me? ¡Muchas gracias para la atención!✨

¡Hola, lovely-lo!

Sure, let’s see one by one and the differences:

Used for:

  • finished actions (focus on the action)
  • period of time, exact time
  • consecutive actions in the past
  • interrupting actions

Examples:

  • Anoche dormí muy bien. (Last night I slept really good).
    **This action is completely finished.
  • Terminé mi tarea a las 7:00. (I finished my homework at 7:00)
    **Completely finished + exact time.
  • Viví en la ciudad por 10 años. (I lived in the city for 10 years)
    **Finished action + period of time.
  • Mi amiga estudió en España. (My friend studied in Spain)
    **She finished studying.
  • Él trabajó en esa empresa desde 1990 hasta el 2015. (He worked in that company from 1990 until 2015.
    **Finished action + exact period of time
  • Ayer me bañé, me vestí y salí con mis amigos. (Yesterday I took a shower, I got dressed and I went out with my friends).
    **Consecutive actions in the past.
  • La semana pasada fui a la playa con mi familia, nadamos, comimos mariscos y nos divertimos mucho. (Last week I went to the beach with my family, we swam, we ate seafood and we had fun).
    **Consecutive actions in the past. (For “nosotros”, the present and the past conjugations are the same).
  • Ayer me desperté a las 8:00, pero me levanté hasta las 9:00. (Yesterday I woke up at 8:00, but I got up until 9:00).
    **Consecutive actions in the past + exact time.

interrupting actions with pretérito imperfecto. ⇊

Used for:

  • past habits, skills
  • finished actions (focus on time)
  • describing people, animals or places in the past
  • time with past habits
  • unfinished actions

Examples:

  • Cuando era niña me gustaba pintar. (When I was a kid I liked to paint).
    **Describing the person + past habit.
  • Antes podía correr muy rápido, pero ahora ya no. (I used to run very fast, but not anymore).
    **Past skill.
  • Mi abuela era una mujer muy guapa. (My grandmother was a very beautiful woman).
    **Describing a person.
  • El parque estaba muy limpio, hacía buen tiempo y habían muchos animales pequeños que comían frutas de los árboles. (The park was very clean, the weather was good and there were many small animals that were eating fruits from the trees).
    **Describing a place, weather, animals.

We can also use [imperfecto] + [period of time] if we are talking about past habits.

  • Iba a la escuela de lunes a viernes. (I used to go to school from Monday to Friday)
    **Past habit + period of time
  • Antes practicaba 3 horas al día. (I used to practice 3 hours a day)
    **Past habit + exact time
  • Visitaba a mis abuelos todos los veranos. (I used to visit my grandparents every Summer).
    **Past habit + time/season

NO:

  • Vivía en la ciudad por 10 años. (X)
  • Él trabajaba en esa empresa desde 1990 hasta el 2015. (X)

Unfinished actions: [pretérito imperfecto] + [pretérito indefinido]

We use the pretérito imperfecto to talk about the unfinished action.
We use the pretérito indefinido to talk about the action that interrupted the first one.

  • Estaba caminando por la calle cuando comenzó a llover. (I was walking down the street when it started to rain)
    estaba: imperfecto
    comenzó: indefinido

  • Estaba viendo una película pero me quedé dormido. (I was watching a movie but I fell asleep)
    estaba: imperfecto
    me quedé: indefinido **quedarse dormido: to fall asleep

  • Antes trabajaba en esa tienda pero encontré un trabajo mejor. (I used to work in that store but I found a better job).
    trabajaba: imperfecto
    encontré: indefinido

  • Antes sabía muchas palabras en español pero ya olvidé muchas. (I used to know many words in Spanish but I forgot many of them).
    sabía: imperfecto
    olvidé: indefinido

[pretérito indefinido] + [pretérito imperfecto]

Past action + describing in the past

  • Fui a tu casa pero no estabas. (I went to your house but you were not there)
  • Fui al banco pero estaba cerrado. (I went to the bank but it was closed).
  • Compré esta bolsa cuando estaba en oferta. (I bought this bag when it was on sale).
  • Llegué temprano pero no había nadie. (I arrived early but there was nobody there).

pretérito indefinido =  (focus on the action)
pretérito imperfecto = (focus on time)

  • ¿Qué hiciste? - What did you do? (focus on the action)
  • ¿Qué hacías? - What did you do? (focus on time)

Another way to translate these questions:

  • ¿Qué hiciste? - What have you done?
  • ¿Qué hacías? - What were you doing?
    *The first question focus on what you did, and the second one focus on how you spent your time.

  • Vi una película. - I watched a movie. (focus on the action)
  • Veía una película. - I watched a movie (focus on time)
    *The second sentence can be translate as “I was watching a movie”

estuve vs. estaba (estar)

Estuve and estaba can be interchangeable many times, for example:

Él estuvo trabajando. - He was working (focus on the action)
Él estaba trabajando. -  He was working (focus on time)
These two sentences have almost the same meaning. “Estuve trabajando” emphasizes
what he was doing, and “estaba trabajando” emphasizes how he was spending his time.

Estuve muy ocupada. - I was very busy. (focus on the adjective “ocupada”)
Estaba muy ocupada. - I was very busy (focus on time)
These two sentences are also very similar. But “estuve muy ocupada” emphasizes the fact of being busy and “estaba muy ocupada” emphasizes the time when she was busy.

Most of the times people don’t see these subtle differences, so both sentences can be synonyms.

Just as one of our previous rules, we don’t use the imperfecto with exact time.

fue vs. era (ser)

This follows the same logic:

fue, pretérito indefinido =  (focus on the person)
era, pretérito imperfecto = (focus on time)

Whenever we read a biography of someone, we always see “fue” because the important thing is their profession. For example:

  • Octavio Paz fue un escritor. - Octavio Paz was a writer.
  • Marie Curie fue una científica. - Marie Curie was a scientist.
  • Galileo Galilei fue un astrónomo. - Galileo Galilei was an astronomer.

If we use “era” the sentence is correct, but it feels like it is minimizing the importance of their job.

But we can use “era” when the important thing is how people spent their time. For example:

  • Cuando Octavio Paz era niño vivía en los Estados Unidos. - When Octavio Paz was a child he lived in the United States.
  • Marie Curie trabajaba con su esposo. - Marie Curie worked with her husband.
  • Galileo Galilei tenía muchos enemigos. - Galileo Galilei had many enemies.

Used for:

  • Recent past (finished actions) connected to the present.
  • Experiences.

Examples:

  • He comprado un carro nuevo. - I’ve bought a new car. (I bought a car recently and is still there).
  • He estudiado todas mis notas. - I’ve studied all my notes. (I studied all my notes that I have until now).
  • Él ha tenido tiempo suficiente para pensar. - He has had enough time to think. (until now)
  • Mi amiga me ha dado un regalo. - My friend has given me a present. (and I still have it here).
  • Hemos tenido un buen fin de semana. - We have had a nice weekend. (until now, until the last second).
  • He viajado a Perú muchas veces. - I’ve traveled to Perú many times.
  • He estado en Bolivia sólo una vez. - I’ve been to Bolivia just once.
  • Ella ha nadado con delfines. - She has swum with dolphins.
  • Él nunca ha bebido alcohol en su vida. - He has never drunk alcohol in his life.
  • ¿Has visto esta película? - Have you seen this movie?
  • ¿Has tocado a un elefante? - Have you touched an elephant?
  • ¿Alguna vez has pensado en casarte? - Have you ever thought about getting married?

[pretérito perfecto] + [time]

  • He estado trabajando todo el día. - I’ve been working all day.
  • He estado estudiando 2 horas al día. - I’ve been studying 2 hours a day.
  • He estado leyendo libros en español desde hace tres meses. - I’ve been reading books in Spanish since 3 months ago. 

I think that’s all. I tried to cover everything I could, but if you still have questions feel free to ask me again. :) 
I hope this was useful!

“Hey, what’s your otp?”

I put my hands in my pockets casually, giving a nervous laugh.
“w-what’s an otp?” I stutter. I take my hand out of my pocket to brush my hair back smoothly.
A list falls out of the pocket. It begins to roll. It is going on seven blocks now. I begin to cry.

LEBANON. Aitaroun. 2006.

I’m a mother of two young boys now. I understand this photograph in a way that I wasn’t capable of when I took it.

We all took advantage of a temporary halt in Israeli air strikes in the middle of the war. Journalists were finally safer to drive around, and those trapped in bombarded villages were given an opportunity to escape. We entered Aitaroun and found people emerging out of a flattened village. It was a moment of chaos as people realized it was quiet and safe to flee. At the time, there were only enough vehicles to evacuate women and children. It was a moment of true fear, as these boys knew they were leaving their father behind.

Photograph: Farah Nosh

4

At the lavish after-party for the Broadway premiere of Amélie, the ice skating rink at Rockefeller Center served as a stunning backdrop, as guests posed in a photo booth and noshed on madeleines. Phillipa Soo, who stars in the show as the titular character, looked gorgeous in a Prabal Gurung dress. “I love Prabal, and he was so generous to dress me tonight,” she explained in between hugging friends, “and I basically told him I wanted something whimsical and colorful, just like my show. And this is what we came to.”

And it’s not the first time the 26-year-old actress has worn Gurung’s designs—she donned his clothes for the opening of a little show she did called Hamilton, as well as the Tony Awards last year. “I love that his work is always surprising me in terms of textures and colors and shapes,” she said. “And I love that it’s wearable, that there’s pockets in this dress!”

Steven universe alien theory.

So I noticed today, that all of the gems have a sort of alien basis to their design that I had never noticed until now. First was garnet

She has huge hands, a black and red appearance, a giant head, and her eyes might look like they were glowing if they reflected off her sun glasses.  Which all reminded me of the Flat woods monster

so that was weird…then I thought of pearl

who is tall, slender, has stark white skin and very exaggerated facial features…which reminded me of Nordic aliens


so that’s upsetting…this theory is building up far too quickly. Now heres the kicker, let’s move to amethyst shall we.

now initially, I wanted to say she was like reptilians….because she can shape shift, and she does have a charming, inherent Midwestern sort of persona. She is very down to earth, and playful. My girlfriend brought up that she is like a lot of “redneck” sort of aliens, reptilians, the chupacobera. ….but then it hit us

SHES THE BLOB

the blob is described as follows
The Blob is an amorphous, gelatinous alien entity that was brought to planet Earth trapped inside a meteorite. Nothing is known about its origins, the natural habits of the species, or how common they are in the universe. This creature has no definite shape or size, being able to change its form at will. It quickly consumes all living things it can capture.

DO YOU GET IT YET!!!

still not convinced. Let’s move to the two most damning pieces of evidence shall we. Let’s talk about the obvious fucking lampshade sitting right in front of our god damned faces. PERIDOT!

SHES SMALL, SHES GREEN, SHE HAS GIANT EYES! SHES SENT TO FUCKING EARTH TO CONDUCT SCIENTIFIC EXPERIMENTS!

she’s a little green man (lady) and the last one, the real smoking gun is lapis

now initially I thought about those people who think that angels are aliens or something… but no

SHES THE MOTHMAN!

the mothman legend came about because this thing showed up and started spooking people right before a bridge fell down and killed a bunch of people, people also say it showed up before Chernobyl, and many other big disasters. Mothman is a warning, an omen. He shows up right before stuff goes wrong



lapis shows up right before home world does. She shows up again and again right before bad guys do. She only shows up in episodes preceding something big. Even this last season we had a bunch of episodes back to back with her in it….and not to shortly after…the diamonds fuckin show up!

lastly. Let’s not forget, as pearl is so fond of saying, their bodies are just made of light. Like the beings made of light, another common “real” alien subtype


not only does the entirety of steven universe’s mythos rely on the ancient alien ideal of aliens influencing almost every part of history….but everyone of them is based on “actual” alien architypes.

even the famethyst has some weird connection to xenomorphs. They were grown on another world to serve another alien race, eventually the controllers (the engineers) lose control of them and are undone by them. They are even lead by a queen of their own species (our earth amethyst). Going to that extent, even jasper has some weird connection to the predator if you dig in enough.

this theory is insane, and because I saw pizzavangelions in kiki’s pizza delivery service, I know the crewniverse is reading this….if I’m right, can you please….leave a clue or something, something minor….let me know if I’m right

please?

#ronaldowasright

IRAQ. Baghdad governorate. Sadr City. March 4, 2009.

“I’ve listened to Iraqis share their tragedies over the years. “This is freedom?” is the ongoing Iraqi dark humor. I met Rena a year after she was hit by an American airstrike. She was eight months pregnant and walking hand in hand with her young sister in Sadr city in 2008. American forces were on a mission to ‘clean up’ Shiite militias. In an instant, Rena lost her left leg, her unborn infant, and her youngest sister. And in the same instant, much like the country itself, she became imprisoned by sadness. In my days with Rena, as much as we cried together, we laughed. Her longing to laugh and her surprising sense of humor filled me with humility. Exhausted by trauma and sadness, there was an innate strength and desire to move forward towards something better. Repeatedly lost with shattered expectations, hope is something that Iraqis have exhausted themselves in holding. Eventually Iraq’s violence would grow its own tired face, and like Iraq, Rena had to find a way to cope: through triumph. When you find lightness and humor, you find your way back.”

Photograph: Farah Nosh

Zen Judaism

(Stolen from a Jewish friend of mine)

If there is no self, whose arthritis is this?

Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated?

Drink tea and nourish life. With the first sip, joy.
With the second, satisfaction.
With the third, peace. With the fourth, a Danish.

Wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage is another story.

Accept misfortune as a blessing. Do not wish for perfect health
or a life without problems. What would you talk about?

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single “oy.”

There is no escaping karma. In a previous life, you never called,
you never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that?

Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness.
And then what do you have? Bupkes.

The Tao does not speak. The Tao does not blame. The Tao does not take sides.
The Tao demands nothing of others. The Tao is not Jewish.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.
Forget this and attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems.

Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as the wooded glen.
And sit up straight. You’ll never meet the Buddha with such rounded shoulders.

Be patient and achieve all things. Be impatient and achieve all things faster.

To Find the Buddha, look within. Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers.
Each flower blossoms ten thousand times. Each blossom has ten thousand petals.
You might want to see a specialist.

To practice Zen and the art of Jewish motorcycle maintenance, do the following:
get rid of the motorcycle. What were you thinking?

Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions.
Keep in mind that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness.

The Torah says,”Love thy neighbor as thyself.” The Buddha says there is no “self.” So, maybe you are off the hook.

The Buddha taught that one should practice loving kindness to all sentient beings.
Still, would it kill you to find a nice sentient being who happens to be Jewish?

Though only your skin, sinews, and bones remain, though your blood and flesh dry up and wither away,
yet shall you meditate and not stir until you have attained full Enlightenment. But, first, a little nosh.

6

Lana Beniko is not amused.

AAiM: This’ll Be a Breeze!

As always, this is all in fun, tag however you want if reblogging, credit me when using my screencaps and links to all the crack are in the ML Crack Post Master List.  This was a series, but was discontinued.  Follow this link to find out why.  It works well as a one-shot, though :)


Alya’s Adventures in Matchmaking: Round 1

Episode:  Stormy Weather/Climatika

The Goal: To get Marinette’s head out of the clouds and teach her how to interact with Adrien like a normal human being.  Also, flirts.  Teach her the flirts.


  • Alya shows up at Marinette’s with GREAT NEWS
  • Adrien’s in the park doing a photoshoot
  • What better opportunity to get these knuckleheads together than to interrupt him at work and STARE at him?
  • I mean, it’s not like you can talk to him while he’s working…
  • …not sure what Alya’s plan was here…
  • when you think you have a foolproof plan to get your friends together
  • but you need to look up the definition of “foolproof”
  • you forget who you’re dealing with there, Alya
  • ah, no
  • she knows EXACTLY what she’s dealing with
  • Mari:  what would I say to him?!
  • …well, she’s got you there, Marinette
  • real friends are honest AF
  • or that’s a reenactment of Jurassic Park idk

Let the lessons begin!  After the cut…


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