north pole living

Whats with this bullshit about Santa living in north pole? Santa lives in fucking Finland you fucking idiots. That fucking dude in north pole is some gross impostor, he’s a lie, stop buying into his bullshit, wake up sheeple!

Dear bigots, before you start your “let’s ban Muslims 2k16 “ rallies remember that we were the same kids in your 1st grade class that never ruined the truth about Santa … Because we came from homes that told us to respect others traditions.

You’re Welcome.

In Scandinavia, a Nisse (or Tomte) is a household spirit that is responsible for the care and prosperity of a farm or family. A Nisse is usually described as a short man or woman (under four feet tall) wearing a red cap. While belief in guardian spirits is a very old tradition in Scandinavia, belief in Nisser was prominent in the late eighteenth and nineteenth centuries in Denmark, Norway and Sweden. Many farms claimed to have their own Nisse. The Nisse took an active interest in the farm by performing chores such as grooming horses, carrying bales of hay, and other farm-related tasks. These chores were usually done much more efficiently and effectively than by their human counterparts. However, Nisser could be temperamental, to say the least. If the household was not careful to keep its Nisse satisfied – usually in the form of a single bowl of porridge with butter in it left out on Christmas Eve – the spirit could turn against its masters. In the 1840s the farm’s Nisse became the bearer of Christmas presents in Scandinavia, and was then called “Julenisse” and has been associated with Christmas ever since.The Swedish “Jultomte”, the Norwegian “Julenisse”, the Danish “Julemand” and the Finnish “Joulupukki” still has features and traditions that are rooted in the local culture: he doesn’t necessarily retreat to the North Pole, but lives in a forest, field or stream nearby, or in Denmark he lives on Greenland, and in Finland he lives in Lapland; he or she does not come down the chimney on Christmas night, but arrives through the front door, delivering the presents directly to his household friends.

anonymous asked:

I have a confession to make: I only learnt that Finland existed when I was 11 because of a Norway-themed essay I had to write. Before that I believed that it was a kind of fictional land *in* the North Pole where Santa Claus lived alone with reindeers and penguins. I am so ashamed

I am sorry to hear that you had to spend 10 first years of your life in darkness. I am thankful for your Norway-themed essay, which led you to light.

anonymous asked:

So if Nicki Minaj asked you to make another show would you do it?

If Nicki Minaj told us to go to the north pole and live there naked forever we would do it. So yes.

Joel the Lump of Coal

Some time ago at Santa’s place up in the old North pole,

There lived a lump of anthracite whose parents called him Joel,

Joel, Joel, the lump of coal,

Happy as a lump can be,

He just wants to keep Santa warm and make the elves cosy,

But Santa Claus has other plans for Joel one fateful day,

“Joel, you’re just the lump I need, come join me on my sleigh”,

Joel, Joel, the lump of coal,

Heart leapt up with joy,

I’ll soon be Santa’s present to a lucky girl or boy,

We’ll laugh and play together and we’ll hold each other tight,

Snuggle under clean white sheets when we go to sleep at night,

Then Santa’s elves all laughed at Joel,

“You’re in for a surprise. You’re not a special Christmas gift, you’re just a booby prize,

What kid would ever want you? You’re filthy as can be,

and now you have to go and live with one who’s been naughty.”

You pollute the air with CO2 and Mercury,

Joel, Joel, the lump of coal,

Fell down upon his knees,

“I don’t want to live with a naughty kid, don’t make me, Santa, please”,

But Santa laughed his jolly laugh,

“Ho ho, you stupid lump,

you’re just the thing to teach this brat that Santa ain’t no chump, ho ho ho”,

So off they flew and before he knew Joel was in a sack,

he cried and yelled to Santa Claus,

“Why don’t we just go back?”

And then came Christmas morning and much to Joel’s surprise,

He saw a boy with the saddest face and tears were in his eyes,

(Tears were in his eyes)

He picked Joel up, he held him, he said “You can be my friend”,

(Be my next best friend)

“I would have liked some presents but you’re what Santa chose to send”,

(Santa chose to send)

“It’s true I’ve been a naughty boy and maybe that’s a sin”,

(Maybe that’s a sin)

“But if this is how Santa treats the kids, I’m just glad that I’m not him”,

Joel, Joel, the lump of coal,

Knew what he must do,

He said “Now I know the reason why I got sent to you”,

Because when a person hurts inside it turns him hard and cruel,

But I know how to make your pain into a precious jewel,

So take me in your hand, young man, and squeeze with all your might,

Let’s turn your pain and anger into something that shines bright,

Joel, Joel, the lump of coal,

He gave his life away,

So one good naughty little boy had a diamond on Christmas day.

A Letter to Santa from Kid Hitler
At Post Branch 4802 in Ebensee, Austria a recent discovery of a letter from a young 10 year old Adolf Hitler to Santa Claus has given historians some insight into the dictators mind.

Below is the original copy, amazingly kept well preserved despite being enclosed in an envelope along with a flourless cookie, as well as an English translation.

  12 December, 1899

Dear St Nicholas,

I have been a very good boy this year.  I always place my toys in the correct area they belong too after play time.  I am diligent with my cleaning and physical health as well.  Above all, I listen and obey my fathers requests.  I only ask of you for one thing this holiday.

Winter is my favorite season.  Perfectly white snow covers all.  What was once dirty and different is now glorious and uniform.  It pains my eyes to see our land tainted during the summer with unwanted dust and trash that travels from neighboring countries.  Oh how I wish everything was white and pure like the winter.

It is for this reason that I want to move to the North Pole and live with you.

I admire and respect your work. How you demand control over the elves having them work towards one common goal is encouraging.  Your organization skills listing all the children as good or bad is inspiring.  I truly wouldn’t have thought before that a separation of people on such a large scale could be accomplished.  You give me hope, Santa. Awaiting your response,
Adolf   Ps. I really like your color scheme. [Chris Chromak]