north korea jokes

to armys worried about bts going to the bbas:

no matter what happens and what hate, disrespect, and racism comes their way (which, lots will), they’re not walking alone. they’ve got us. they’ve dealt with hate since day one but the difference between then and now is the literal millions of people behind them. as you can tell by the voting we’ve obviously got a strong online presence that we gotta use to cheer them on and shape the narrative in their favor. bangtan defends army, army defends bangtan. they’ve talked about this plenty of times and have always given us overwhelming love and thanks. they trust and rely on us. we’re the reason they don’t have to worry and can focus on growing bigger and better. this is the time to show that and show how no hate can slow them down or dampen their shine even a little. we’ve easily got the numbers to call out any bullshit ignorant western critics wanna throw at them. tho please be careful because how we behave reflects on them and we want to make the boys proud so dont be an asshole, dont be petty or disrespectful, but dont stand for bullshit. lets earn the thanks they will no doubt give us win or lose.

lets be real yall, more fame and attention in america and the west does expose them more hate. gross racists are going to call them chinese, make north korea jokes, make fun of their english, reference asian stereotypes. misogynistic assholes are going to ridicule them for defying gender roles, for putting effort into their appearances, for having a largely young girl fan base. ignorant fucks will try to devalue and dehumanize them by treating them like a “cute little boy band” but none of that shit is gonna stop them from being mother. fucking. bangtan. sonyeondan. the internationally acclaimed, world tour selling out, record breaking, amazingly strong and hard working group that we love. and this is just the beginning cause they’re only going up from here.

at the end of the day the boys are gonna be true to themselves and we’re gonna be there supporting them. let’s make them bulletproof.

Now this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I’d like to take a minute, I hope you’re here to stay,
I’ll tell you all about how I became dictator of North K.

In west Pyongyang, born and raised
In the bomb factory was where I spent most of my days
Chillin’ out, maxin’, relaxin’ all cool
Pointing nukes at other countries, and calling them fools
When a bad heart attack, which was up to no good
Showed that my dad wasn’t living the way that he should
I lost my old man and North Korea got scared
They said ’Your dad’s six-feet under, you’re the new emperor.“

I called for a Kamikaze and when it came near
The fighter plane said ‘NUKES’ and it had explosives in the rear
If anything I can say this plane’s gonna blow
But I thought ‘Nah forget it,’ – ‘The democrats don’t know!’

I. Made. Threats to America, 7 or 8
And I yelled to the nation ‘Rong rive the North K!’
I looked at my country, I was hated by all
To settle my throne as the new Kim Jong.

Prince Choi Seung-hyun and Sir Kwon Ji Yong on the set of 쩔어 (Jjeol-ouh) music video. 
By a great number of historians this is considered to be one of the most important days in the history of mankind. It is a well known fact that the blonde hair of Prince TOP brought worldwide peace. 
Astounding and very detailed panting by Franz Xaver Winterhalter.

June 16th, 2017 Jokes

Amazon is buying Whole Foods in a deal valued at $13.7 billion. What a steal! I never pay less than $15 billion for organic food.

According to a recent report, advanced CIA firmware has been infecting Wi-Fi routers for years. Thankfully I am still using my neighbor’s Wi-Fi so I don’t have to worry about it.

 A man in Pakistan has been charged after taking a lion for a ride in his pickup truck. The lion was also later taken into custody on charges of attempted mane slaughter.

A Kansas City man who robbed a bank to escape his wife was sentenced to house arrest this week. The man is currently on edge because he’s scared he’ll be shanked in his sleep by his cellmate.

Russia claims it has killed ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, though I’ll believe it when Isisee it.

An Aztec temple was unearthed beneath a hotel in Mexico City this week, and housekeeping is already stocking up on lemon pledge because it’s going to be a huge pain in the ass to keep clean.

 US doctors say the American captive freed by North Korea has “extensive loss of brain tissue,” so much so that he’s now qualified to run the Department of Health and Human Services.

President Trump’s personal lawyer Michael Cohen has reportedly hired his own lawyer, though no one knows yet if it was Cellino or if it was Barnes.

A South Korean startup is fighting age discrimination by only hiring people over 55, though the only problem is that they’ll have to spend the first three months teaching them how to use email.

The Discovery Channel has announced that Michael Phelps will race a great white shark during Shark Week. Not to be outdone, Ryan Lochte will claim he was robbed by two sharks with guns at a gas station.