people holding certain regional versions, unverified personal beliefs, translations or debated theories as solid facts about mythology.
Some frequent examples: Valhalla is the honourable afterlife and Hels is BAD (likely not, Hel might have originally been the standard destination) Freyja whored to get the Brisingamen (very rarely mentioned) Loki tricked Hödr into killing Baldr (not in every version, each one another’s contemporaries) Loki is Thor’s uncle (via vague kinship ties to Odin which is… okay? why do you read it like that, sometimes Loki is Odin’s slave, sometimes “all gods of Asgard serve Odin as sons”) All of Asgard were big meanies to the giants for no reason (everyone in all the realms is a selfish ass, and i mean an arse, not specifically an asa-god) All giants are biological hermaphrodites (shapeshifter/magic doesn’t really equal that in any context) Fenrir is misunderstood (he is a symbol) This and this character always factually is/isn’t POC in modern racial terms (some are described as dark, some are described as white, but not according to the US English connotations. race studies come from the 1700-1800s) All the realms are separate entities and there’s an absolute solid list of nine (no there isn’t) Hel was wronged and is misunderstood (Hel was an important life cycle deity) …
Like, I do understand that it’s tempting to yell lovely relisations from the rooftops. I do understand that especially for someone who’s practising a religion, a personal experience/opinion is easy to take as the truth. And when you’re starting to study the myths, it’s easy to find one version and say “okay, this is the “real one”.
But historically, just because one text says something, doesn’t make it an absolute unmutable truth. There is no “real version” and there never was. The stories are all just regional, time-bound, author-relative truths for certain audiences at the time of their writing.
It’s good to make theories and interpretations! That’s how the old texts live on. But it’ll make your life difficult if you decide on one truth (based on a tumblr post) and it ends up colliding with another, different one. People in the Viking Age were no more a unified hivemind than we are, so the stories really do vary quite a lot!
So when you find a truth, treat it as what it is:One of several possible coexisting truths.
i hate to be this person, but if you post any of the following pls interact. i want more blogs to follow so i don’t keep seeing the same info over and over 😭 ((you don’t have to follow me but that’d b cool, and all following will be from my main @xontly))
-mythology (norse is v needed, but greek, celtic, etc as well!)
-recipes, kitchen witchery
-aesthetic based, especially nature
-gardening and tips
-grimoire / grimoire pages
-paganism in any way shape or form
-also, interact if you feel your blog relates enough even if you don’t post any of these specifics! i’d love to see similar things as well, but from blogs and not just following the tags ugh 🙇🏻♀️
“I’m allowed to take up space!”, a long vent post about Loki, war magic, confidence, and being petty.
!!Trigger Warning!! If today is super heavy and you don’t have enough spoons to hear about more shitty things, please move on from this Alizar AAAAAAA. Please feel free to come back to it another time. Also sending love your way. I hope you bounce back from whatever you’re going through soon!
The last week of my life has been YIKES. Just plain fucking awful. I should’ve guessed that Uranus retrograde followed by a Leo solar eclipse would throw some unexpected nightmare shit my way. I had no idea that shit would take human-form, sleep for a week at my house, flirt with my partner despite knowing we’re monogamous or how uncomfortable I was with it, be a complete bitch to me, and leave dishes and messes for me to clean up! For those of you who pay attention to my blog, I’m about to spill the beans on my recent vagueposting.
But for those of you new readers that Tumblr and the Powers That Be have sent my way, let me catch you up. My name is Alizar Hart and for the last 9 days, I’ve been dealing with a “petty tyrant”.
What’s a ‘petty tyrant’, you ask?
My landlord explains it as a magician who goes out of their way to consciously be a dick. This one was particularly bad. For days, she shat around the house, trying to assert her dominance over everything. Touching my shit and putting it in her mouth or licking it when I was watching her! Moving our stuff without asking on my work space! You’d think I would’ve seen this coming considering my latest astro blahs, but Uranus is in the mix doing things. You can never really predict Uranus. And I couldn’t have predicted that this guest of my landlord’s would be so fucking rude!
No, no…that’s a lie. In the pit of my gut, I knew that this petty tyrant was going to hate me. I ignored my feelings and wished for the best, though. Why do that? Because every member of this household is friends with them. Even my partner is fucking friends with them and has been for years! You know, except…me. To deepen this, I knew this person. She hadn’t forgiven the drama that happened between us a year ago. We’d left it off at a sour note and never picked it back up. She comes from the community on Facebook that I recently split from to come and share my rambles here. Hindsight 20/20 here but visitors from the past is totally a retrograde thing so duh, this whole spiel was written in the stars, but…my eyes were all covered in roses. Besides, my landlord, and my partner assured me that all she wanted was another chance at being friends. I wanted to trust that a lot with my big, stupid heart.
The above image is a picture of my big stupid heart that I drew while all of this drama was happening.
Another hindsight moment was the fact that she arrived at my house out of the blue.Sure, my landlord had said sometime this year there might be a chance we’d meet, but she apparently hopped on a plane without any warning and just showed up! This was the day that Uranus retrograde happened so there I was at the end of a lightning bolt early in the morning (just like my post) with a kind of dumbfounded face, holding my coffee, as someone random from the Internet I had blocked a year ago for being fucking shitty to me was now sitting in the living room. In my spot. (This is my fucking weird life) With a large smirk playing on her face when everyone’s back was turned. I knew that smirk. It brought me all the way back to my only memories of elementary school when I had bullies and people targeting me for nastiness because I was different, an outlier. A freak. My gut twisted. I remember she didn’t even verbally acknowledge me when I greeted her before she turned her back. Then began to laugh, and engage my friends…without me. Pretending I wasn’t there.
Among the things I’ve listed, she caught me during a break down, and invalidated everything I was feeling. My room mate and partner were there at the time but they don’t really understand emotional nuance like I do. They both didn’t comprehend the scathing implications of her “helpful advice” for me. Or how things she said offhandedly specifically targeted things that were weird about me. I felt so mad and alone. I felt small. I still kinda do as I’m processing this shit out now. I didn’t stand up for myself when she was doing that to me! I should’ve instead of expecting anyone to set a boundary for me. My partner and room mates aren’t my parents or my white knights. I can’t rely on them to have my back on these things. I have such horrible reaction time when someone’s hurting me. I guess I shut down… I need to work on that.
Let’s not mention the many times I caught her pulling my partner off to places when I wasn’t around. I mean, I trust my partner, but every relationship up until now has always included me being eventually phased out and cheated on. I can’t exactly stop my paranoia but I held back any selfish action to stop them from being alone together. I’m better than my PTSD.
I attempted to disassociate into Steven Universe. Was I in some horrible fairy tale where the main character’s friends all become enchanted with some new stranger who just shows up out of the blue and nobody sees how terrible their new friend is actually being?! Nobody seemed to acknowledge all the mean-spirited, abusive things she’d direct at me through conversation when I was around. I felt like I was back in seventh grade again, being picked on, and no adult but myself to intervene and stop it. Not only did I feel small again, but I felt helpless to defend myself. Hopeless. Isolated. I mean, it was my landlord and friend/partner’s friend that was doing this! What could I actually do? At a certain point, I even hid in my room. I heard her laughing so loudly with my friends downstairs that it echoed through the walls. This went on for six days. Six whole days. Until the solar eclipse rolled around, that is…
I stopped eating. I stopped taking my blood sugar pills and got sick. I broke down crying and raging on that day. I wanted to leave everything and everyone. I still want to leave but another part of me is just kind of stuck here. There’s all this pressure being exerted on me to make money, do the chores, diet, don’t relax, take responsibility, work harder, validate yourself because nobody cares what you do, think smarter, do better…but also nothing I do is ever enough and whatever I do is still less than what needs to be done every day. Also your partner loves you but doesn’t know how to respond or deal with your intense emotions when you’re having them and you’re a burden on everyone.
My partner and I got into a really heated discussion. While I’m still pretty raw over some parts of it, my partner said something that resonated. They told me:
“You are allowed to take up space!”
And that I should stop minimizing my impact around others. A bunch of tiny bits from my past flashed before my eyes as I remembered feeling so small my whole life. Then realizing that without knowing it, I minimize myself around others, and have since my days in foster care where I had to hide. That I was making myself an easy target for any predator. I was even making it easy for people at home to hurt my feelings. I get that this is a basic epiphany for someone who does serious magic but…it’s something that seems to have developed layers of meaning for me. I come from a background where I was subjected to all sorts of shit against my will. I was locked in a room for half my life and then thrown onto the streets for years after that. I had to make myself a tiny, unseen, speck on the radar in order to survive.
That was back then though.
Not now. The present was happening right now and I was a 20-fucking-9 year old dealing with 22 year old child person who hadn’t grown up. Someone who could only feel big by making other people feel small. A school yard bully… ‘A petty tyrant’, as my landlord likes to say.
I spent the day after the solar eclipse brooding and drawing…and thinking on my life…
My best thinking is done while drawing.
If I continued to act small my whole life, everyone would do the same. It would become a routine because, unfortunately, we live in a world where people mostly treat you like you allow them to treat you. Some people…no, a lot of people these days are fucking wolves. They say the older you get the harder it is for you to change your habits and based on this past week, I really don’t want any of this to stick. At all. I want to stop being the door mat these petty ass people strike at first. I will stop being a door mat.
That was when Loki showed up leaning against my bedroom wall, asking if I was ready to make some mischief with him. To clarify, I’m a medium, and have stanky wizard eyes that allow me to see non-corporeal beings. Like tricksy Norse Gods. Spirits, gods, and beings of all sorts kinda pop up in my life asking for all sorts of things. Anyways, this was the cherry on my cake because I’d been avidly avoiding Loki for about a week prior to this. But clever him, he waited patiently for me to be in a weird spot before he came to suggest (again) that we work with each other. I agreed to the partnership and his condition that I write a story for him. The underlaying context here being that he wants me to weave a new destiny for him. How? Fuck all if I know. He seems to think it’s possible.
I usually don’t throw bindings and magic around at people who fuck with me however, this was a situation that I really felt needed it. I was being victimized in my own home.
So Loki sat on my bed, lounging causally, as he told me all about how the next couple of days was going to go down. Along with instructions on ritual, I was given a sigil, and some very hard truths about myself. Ones that I didn’t want put on highlight like the fire god of chaos so graciously did. First and foremost, that this gremlin person who was bullying me was more like me than I gave her credit for.
She was a person who was scared, came from an abusive past, and just got off the street from being homeless for awhile. She had PTSD and trauma that she was ignoring. She felt very alone and alien from everyone else. She also looked for people to take responsibility for things in her life that she refused to. And compensated by bringing those around her down when she thought she could get away with it socially. Loki instructed me that when it comes to conflict and hate, we are most often disgusted with things we hate to see about ourselves in others. Or things we never became. And when it comes to the art of war magic, we destroy our enemies, by acknowledging those hated/never happened parts of ourselves in others and embracing the wisdom that those acknowledgements bring. While Loki didn’t quite encourage me to have compassion in this process, I began to find some for her. Not in a way that violated my boundaries but in a way that wasn’t as fueled by rage. Because I was having compassion for myself. I knew now that I was dealing with a hungry ghost of my past self that I hadn’t properly absolved. It was taking the form of this troublesome person.
In a weird way, seen through the lens that Loki had provided, I began working on my own subconscious darkness through her. I began seeing the things I’d done in the past to others and the mistakes I’d made when I was young and 22. I also saw, through her cruelty, what I was allowing myself to become/be done to me by not owning confidence in myself without anyone’s help. I was opening the door for any kind of toxic person to enter and shit on my psychic, inner temple. And the phrase “I’m allowed to take up space!” became a mantra of clarity for me. All this time, all 29 years, it hadn’t occurred to me that I can take up space and be myself! That this is a basic human right that I have as long as I’m not hurting myself or others.
Now the Universe was testing me to own that space. Through adversity. Through a battle of wits and a test of my patience. I spent the last days of the terrible guest’s stay at my house charging that sigil with energy, speaking my true feelings to it, and using various forms of transmutation and shamanic drumming to tap into that person’s negative energy (the energy that was also in me too) and release it from the house. In particular, Loki had me banish her ability to deceive. Interestingly enough, 20 minutes after I banished, she comes stomping through the door. Apparently, she’d annoyed my landlord’s girlfriend, and said some fucked up things in front of my teacher. For the first time, her mask slipped, and she stated that my landlord’s girlfriend and their relationship together was “boring”. I caught my partner’s look of terrible confusion as they didn’t quite know how to react to that.
Later on that night, my landlord comes home, and she says something fucked up to me again. I forget what it was because my brain has conveniently forgotten it at the moment. Instead of saying nothing however, my landlord catches the insult, and snaps at her bitch ass to stop. Finally! I feel vindicated because the weird glamour of “nothing is wrong with my attitude” was beginning to falter hard. People were starting to be aware of her underlying mean snobbishness towards me. My landlord mentioned very pointedly how much he liked me around at once point in her presence after a barb she threw my way.
Another odd but also telling sign that her influence was dying was her busting out her natal chart in front of me. Ya know, while she was bonding with my partner, back turned, and ignoring me. Big mistake on her part though. She basically gave me all the keys to knowing how her ego works by underestimating me. Long story short, her bucket-shaped natal chart all funnels through the asteroid Lilith in the last degrees of Gemini. So her life is all about her Id. I really think that was Loki working in the back ground, having her expose such vital information about her psychology, so I could know exactly what made this person tick. Isn’t Loki all about that life?
Then she had to go to the doctor due to an upset stomach to find out she has some kind of worm in her intestines. What a metaphor for a confidence-eating, solar plexus parasite! Which figures given her general energy at this point but holy shit, that sigil Loki gave me was bringing up all of the truths about her.
I knew it was over for her bullshit when my landlord pulled me off to the side and straight up told me that he couldn’t wait until she was gone. That, like me, he wasn’t impressed with her attitude and after this she’d never be welcome back here again. That sigil and the cinnamon banishing I did had not only released her negative hold on the house (I felt) but also released my negative feelings that I had about myself. I came to understand how far I’d come in my own life in comparison to and through things I observed about her. I saw that she had taken different routes that I had been tempted to take when faced with similar problems..but had never taken. I also grew more confidence in myself and have since begun to “take up space” as it were. I’ve also been banishing every day. WHICH AGAIN SHOULD’VE BEEN A THING BUT LOOK AT ME ALL MESSY AS FUCK WITCH OVER HERE hahaha! Ha… Ugh. It’s time to focus on my energy management or lack there of again. I just have this big stupid heart that internalizes what people say about me in the worst ways. Sometimes I wish I was like my partner, seemingly impervious to that shit.
After going heavy on that war magic Loki broke down, I noticed that she spent a lot of time alone. And looking bitterly at me. She started going on her own walks and mostly avoiding me. She didn’t swagger and boast as loud. Although she did attempt a few times to subvert my workings because, as a magician, she probably felt the shift in her luck. So I had to reinforce it several times. I noticed each time I did, she’d go lay down, and take a nap. But the minute I stopped actively banishing or actively charging the fuck-off sigil, she’d be back at it with her bullshit again. I also noticed her growing agitation as more and more of her clever words began to bungle up for her. And more of her true colors would seep through. Yay, Loki powers activate. Her last day here was yesterday. My landlord eagerly rushed her into the car and took a shocking 10 minutes to arrive back home without her. It was very quick although parking is a bitch at Seatac so that might’ve been a factor.
But now peace is restored in my environment again and I can calm the fuck down. Again, still trying to decompress from that 9 day time loop where I went back into my days getting bullied in elementary school. Mercury is about to go direct in a few days and the planets are going to start coming out of retrograde, so I’m kind of looking forward to winter and the end of 2018. Astrologically, it’s been a hard ride, and I wanna get off now. Hopefully the near future will include something not so fucking harsh on my anxiety. Like a vacation. But there’s work to do still. I need to finally banish everything of her by cleaning up this house and drowning what remains of the sigil via the toilet.
Also gotta write. An astro post about Mercury direct and a story about Loki. No clue what the story plot will look like. I guess that’s up to destiny and the muses. I never really seem to finish anything so I don’t understand or get his confidence in my abilities but whatever. He helped me banish a parasite so…a deals a deal.
For those of you interested in the particulars of the cinnamon and holly banishing ritual that Loki taught me, here it is in outlined points. There’s no real order to it so pick and choose intuitively whatever fits your situation:
Stab the sharp edges of a spiky holly leaf along the image of the sigil in this post while charging it with energy and intent. Brushing or sweeping the sharp points over the sigil, pretending you’re sweeping away the layers of illusion your target is casting, is very helpful as well.
Place cinnamon sticks over your door frame to expel unwanted influences from entering your place of residence. Imagine they create a festive fire wall.
Use a piece of cinnamon like a wand and trace a clockwise circle around the sigil while speaking the written incantation [insert appropriate pronouns and whatever variable if “lonely” doesn’t fit the situation or the target].
Imagine the cinnamon stick being traced clockwise around the sigil is bubbling their influence and funneling their negativity back into them. Also try to spread the visualization, for further effect, into reality outside of them being rebelled by their attempts to manipulate it. I used the metaphor for oil and water to help me with that.
Use a cinnamon broom to sweep the walls of your house or room. Imagine spiritual fire burning away any hooks your target has in your home. Use a holly stick as a wand and point at the four corners of your house, meditating on the image of a large holly bush growing over any spot you want to enforce your boundaries in. Have you ever tried to crawl through a holly berry hedge? Yeah, not me. It looks painful.
Cover the sigil in cinnamon, holly leaves, and liquorice root and hide it in a dark place where no one can see until you’re ready to burn the sigil and release it’s whole potential.
Until next time witches, wizards, forest spirits, gods, goddesses, vampires, Otherkin, and supernatural forces of Tumblr. This is Alizar Hart, signing out.
Skin tone, body type & anatomy practise for me, and some… shirtless Asgardian dudes for you. Your dash is now blessed. You’re welcome.
Thor and Heimdall.
Originally they were all standing in a line but poor Freyr just kept looking like a hobbit next to Heimdall the damn basketball-player, so I decided to cut the whole picture in half and save him some shame.
The design of Thor’s hammer Mjönir is based in part on the decorated Mjölnir pendants you’ve all probably seen,
in part on the remains of the stone-age Nordic “hammer-axe culture”.
Thor: confused sheepdog Heimdall: 9000% done with everything
You can resolve that bet yourself by looking up my culture on wikipedia. It’s a little odd that there were no books, because one of the chief dudes was one-eyed-mega-nerd. He never bothered to write down anything aswell.
If this counts as a book… you can try and take it and carry it away, but if you manage that nobody is going after you, because holla not bad.
They wanted a redesign for a Christmas Hel skin! They came up with the amazing idea of using a Jack Skellington look for her dark stance, obviously i changed a few things because copyright but yeah! Christmas vs Halloween!
🌻🌻🌻please do not use or repost this anywhere without my permission 🌻🌻🌻
I don’t know if this is a final book in a trilogy but it was alright. I think it was a situation where it was “It’s not you, it’s me.” I don’t know what it was about this book but I just couldn’t stand it. I forced myself to finish. But I think if I was younger I’d like it more.
things that weird me out as a myth illustrator rn:
- people tagging my works as “fanart”. fanart of what? these are my designs? designs i made for me? my art! - people tagging my work with myth-based fandom wank. like, don’t take your hollywood otps or plot frustrations out on me? i just read these dusty medieval poems here!
like i love that we can all share memes, and i enjoy marvel movies and it’s cool to see myths in modern literature again, but this blog is neither of those.