anyone got a trick for learning how to deal with changes cause lol itd be nice not to burst into tears whenever a small thing changes in my life

PROTIP: If you like something show it off.

Ran into another Steven Universe fan while getting my car inspected and my oil changed after work. First he commented on my other geeky stuffed animals I have on my dash board (he liked my bulbasaur and eevee but wasn’t into the my little ponies) and then noticed my peridot and lapis stickers and asked if I was a lapidot shipper (in so many words, he couldn’t remember Lapis’s name…) and said he was too and that they were super cute together. It was a fun interaction, and part of the reason I do things like buy stickers for my car of my favorite things. I normally hate small talk but I’ll talk about Steven Universe and other things I like for hours and if I can do that instead of “how are you?” “fine” “nice weather…” etc.

It makes conversations less awkward when you have something in common, even short ones with people that work at an express oil change place

6x14 My thoughts

After watching this episode last night I was left feeling like a huge mixed bag of emotions had been dumped over me, but since I’m a person who likes to process things I decided to rewatch today to see if I was able to clarify ‘why’ I was having those feelings.  

Normally plot holes aren’t that big of a deal to me and as long as I can work my way around the reasons ‘behind’ why I feel that xyz happened, then I’m ok. But this episode left me with a scene that I loved but at the same time, I hated, which is an odd feeling to have.  

Across my dash today I’ve read comments from people loving the show to people having the same criticism that I have with it and when some of these people are ones you never agree with, it becomes a curious thing.  

Breaking it down - 

Snow - as in the weather.  It was gorgeous, but darn did it look cold. 

Snow - the character.  I loved her talk with Killian and her kiss on his cheek and hug were so cute.  I also enjoyed her talk with Emma about her ring.  That was nice.  And I’m really happy that the EQ apologized to her about things that she has done. That was a bonus. 

Emma - Bad - I’m sorry, your man gives you a ring and you don’t run out and leave him alone.  You stay with him or take him with you - but she was really cute and happy in her scene in the loft but then the transition to the station was odd. And then in their house when she walked by Killian - how in the heck did she know it was a secret and her grandfather?   And then after everything that happened last year AND the shears this year, I felt she was really hypocritical of his behavior.  She automatically jumped on something and their usually wonderful communication totally broke down.  It just didn’t work for me. Good - I am however excited about a second proposal and her realizing that something has happened to Killian and freaking.  

Killian - Bad - I get this is about him and his feelings of self worth, BUT running is something the old Killian would do.  And how in the heck did he learn to put his memories in that catcher thing?  And burning them, if that was what he was thinking of doing is another form of running, that they should be long past. He’s usually quite eloquent with his words and sadly they were missing last night.  Good - Colin rocked the angst look and the reunion between CS better be one to rock the socks off of Emma.  His talks with Nemo and Snow were priceless.  I wish Nemo would hang around.  That man has such a pleasant vocal tone.  Good/Bad - New coat, liked it but since new coats are really changes in the character then they should have waited for the reunion, but whatever.  Nice decision on going back to Emma but man, send her a text! The big question - Interesting that Gideon wants him out of town - a curse perhaps awaits our savior? 


Robin - Good - I still believe this Robin was there to act as a guide to help mend the 2 halves as well as make them look inside of themselves, and he did that by dropping truth bomb after truth bomb.  And I’m happy that he has the Q and perhaps can learn to love.  Bad - I’ll miss Sean.  I’d rather have his Robin on my screen any day instead of Zelena.  

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anonymous asked:

I've begun to hate/resent my friends who grew up in nice households . Who aren't afraid of asking their parents for help . Who didn't have to live in a constant fear of emotional abuse. Who didn't have to become a pseudo parent when there parents were insufficient

I feel like this is a pretty common phenomena for many abuse/trauma survivors. I, for example, often feel resentful towards people with healthy romantic relationships. It’s just important that we recognize that while this is normal it’s not helpful to validate or feed this hate/resentment. It’s okay to mourn the things you didn’t have, but it’s not okay to take that out on friends that didn’t. Best of luck in your recovery, you didn’t deserve any of that.

What kills me about Mccree is that. Overwatch is a game where the writers used both ‘time travel’ and ‘characters getting frozen to be discovered later on’ as plot devices for various characters, and yet they did not use either of those things on Mccree. He’s not a real cowboy taken somehow into 2060. He’s just a normal guy, the same age as his teammates, who just dresses and talks like a cowboy in the year 2060, because he wants to.
There are so many convoluted justifications for the other characters, but not Jesse. He’s just like that. He just is. The belt buckle. “I’m your Huckleberry”. All decisions made by a 37 year old man of his own free will. I hate him.

Honestly Yurio was so precious this episode??? His angry thing is seeming more and more like fun rivalry than hate. I mean. His reaction to his own great performance was

Excited and lighthearted, and though he did make a callout to Yuuri it wasn’t an attack, or a put down any more than what is normal between people competing for something.

AND BETTER YET when Yuuri was struggling with his own performance, Yurio on the sidelines


Of course he’s still not buddy buddy with Yuuri because he’s a grumpy boy. BUT THEN-

Is it just me, or is this Yurio’s weird, convoluted way of trying to cheer Yuuri up???? I mean he’s not good at it, but he actively sought out Yuuri, albeit not exactly for this, but he brings it up almost immediately. He’s trying, even if he wouldn’t admit to being friendly.

AND GIVE YUURI A BIRTHDAY GIFT. So Yurio bothers to remember when Yuuri’s birthday, and seek him out to give hie something. Not just something. Something special.

Yurio wants Yuuri to eat it now because he wants to see yuuri’s reaction, because he’s obviously thought about it quite a bit.

honestly I thought this was going to be Yurio making a crack at Yuuri about pork cutlet bowls, cause the way he waits for Yuuri’s reaction he’s waiting for Yuuri to say it.






Friendly reminder that Klaus’ letter was preceded by “that is the beginning of another story”, which is meant to highlight key components in the letter, such as Klaus wanting to thank Caroline in person. This suggests that they do eventually meet up, and that their meeting is not a mere fleeting chapter in their lives.

This isn’t a nod to their friendship. They’ve never been just friends. This is a promise of a romantic future. 

There is no doubt in my mind that if Caroline and Klaus were to ever reunite (and according to the finale they do) that Klaus would want something romantic from her. And if you believe otherwise, you’re kidding yourself. 

However long it takes is a throwback to a romantic scene. A romantic scene that suggests a promise of a romantic future between the characters. This isn’t mere banter between friends. Because Caroline has never been just a friend to Klaus. It’s a promise of a romantic future. 

“that is the beginning of another story”
“however long it takes” 

Eventually this story will be realized. And it isn’t a story about friendship. 

Fun things about mental illness: Having been ill for most of your life, so that you don’t even know what being healthy is actually like and always being completeley suprised when you realize that some things aren’t “normal”.

It isn’t normal to hate yourself so much - Okay.
It isn’t normal to hurt yourself to feel okay - Seems understandable.
It isn’t normal to try to kill yourself every now and then - I get that.


It isn’t normal to want to lie in bed and not do anything all day? This seems strange.
It isn’t normal to rely completely on others for happiness? Good to know.
It isn’t normal to react extremely intensively and impulsively to any minor thing? Can’t imagine…

And so on.

I don’t even remember a life without mental illness and every time I really realize that, it makes me feel worse.
But I know there is no way that this will ever change.

They all say that I’m going to forget the color of his eyes and how his smile formed but I don’t think it’s true. I won’t forget the color of his eyes, his smell, his soft lips pressed on mine, his voice when he used to call me at 2 a.m and I also won’t forget that he made me feel like I was the most beautiful girl inside and out and that it all made sense because of him. I hated silent places before you took me there with you. It was completely silent but with you it felt like the world. I could’ve gone anywhere with you and I would’ve felt like I’m home. They all say I’m going to forget all of these things normally people don’t notice that much. But I won’t forget it because I loved someone so much that it hurt.

Study organization- notebooks

I love stationery of all kinds, especially notebooks. And when you’re planning on studying, of course you need notebooks for taking notes and practicing! In this post, I’ll talk a little about my notebooks.

What kind(s) of notebook(s) do you use?

My personal preference is for spiral notebooks. I used to use notebooks that just opened like normal books, but they never liked to stay flat and they took up too much space on my desk. It’s funny because I used to hate spirals back when I was younger and way into drawing because the pages were more free to move against each other which led to more smudging, but I love spirals so much for note taking. They lay flat with no problem, which is the biggest thing for me. The spiral does get in the way of my hand sometimes, but it’s a minor annoyance.

I also consider the quality of the paper when buying my notebooks. It doesn’t have to be super high quality, but I just can’t deal with paper the quality of standard US looseleaf. It’s too thin and, more importantly, the surface is too rough. Paper with too rough a surface has led to the early death of too many of my pens—if you use fine-tip pens, size 0.5 or lower, and find they stop writing before the ink runs out—little bits from poor-quality paper probably got into the tip and ruined it. The paper I like the most feels a little bit weighty and nice and smooth!

Hardcover or softcover is also a choice to make! I use both, types:

Left to right- hardcover lined notebook, softcover lined notebook, softcover 원고지 squared paper notebook

How many notebooks do you use?

I have three main types of notebooks! I’ll go over each type:

Grammar notebooks

My grammar notebooks are all hardcover. I use them to collect grammar explanations and other important notes. I write them as cleanly as possible and even use my many colorful highlighters to make them look a little nicer. If I need to know about a grammar point that I have already learned, I open my grammar notebook for the right language and find it. This way, I don’t have to remember which textbook or source I saw a certain grammar point or explanation in—if it’s important, I write it down in my grammar notebook! So, my grammar notebooks are mashups of multiple texts and sources. These are for reference only; I don’t do any practice or extra writing in them. Nothing but the facts!

Practice notebooks

My practice notebook is where I write down definitions of new words I learned, practice sentences for my vocab flashcard words, breakdowns of articles I’ve studied on my Chinese reader apps… I guess calling it a “practice notebook” makes its purpose pretty self-explanatory. It’s nothing special; I write quickly and messily in it, and when it gets full, I can just throw it in the recycling bin and start a fresh one. My practice notebook is a softcover spiral.

Chinese article notebook

Korean squared paper—or I guess any squared paper—is wonderful for writing Chinese characters. Once I’ve encountered an article in a Chinese reader app and broken it down in my practice notebook, I rewrite it cleanly in my article notebook so I can easily find and read it again later.

I don’t always have all of my notebook types with me. If I plan on studying grammar, I will bring the correct grammar notebook along, and if I plan on studying Chinese articles, I might have my article notebook with me, but not always. However, my practice notebook is always in my bag!

How do you organize your notes and all? For those of you who might be struggling to get your notes together, I hope this helped!

Happy studying~

nothing is worse than making an effort to express genuine excitement for something for the first time in an extraordinarily long time, trying to share what made you excited with someone you trust, and have that someone blow you off

How them 2000s live actions kids shows be
  • Normal Girl: *internally* I'm just a normal high school girl. I suck at math. I hate my parents. When someone asks me about my opinion on complex socioeconomic issues, I just go "What the heck!?" and start "texting" or something like that. My life would be just like yours, except for one thing: I have an amazing power... I can talk to cetaceans!
  • *at the docks, a bell tolls as our normal protagonist hears the voices of cetaceans bubbling in her mind*
  • Normal Girl: *staring deeply into the ocean*
  • Best Friend: Ahoy! What're you doing?
  • Normal Girl: Just staring into the oceanic abyss, thinking about how much I hate my parents. *internally* I have to keep my ability to speak to cetaceans secret or else... uh...
  • Best Friend: Haha, I feel that, friend. What a colorful life we teens live, our seaside environment awakening a rumbling darkness within ourselves of which we mull on our own with nothing but the unbounding depths of the ocean as our one escape. An escape which serves to only maim our fragile egos with newfound adolescent anxieties.
  • Normal Girl: What are you even talking about?
  • Best Friend: I don't know. I haven't slept in a week. Let's go to the mall.
  • *at the mall*
  • Normal Girl: *internally* My town might as well be called Lamesville. Nothing ever happens here, but the mall can be pretty fun. It's only place in the whole town with anything in it that isn't fish or excessive amounts of woodlice.
  • Best Friend: ...So I'd just dance and I'd dance until my feet broke. When that happened, I'd just get up and dance on my broken feet. And I did this until they were raw and blood was everywhere. I kept waking up in the morning extremely exhausted after this dream. I decided to record myself one night and it turns out I was dancing in my sleep. I haven't slept since I saw that. *leans in close to the normal girl* I'm afraid of what I'll do in my sleep.
  • Normal Girl: Wow, sounds weird... I guess. *sips coffee*
  • Best Friend: OMIGAWD! It's Chad Alphakid. He's coming this way!
  • *the normal girl and her best friend squee*
  • Normal Girl: *externally* That's Chad Alphakid. Who is he? He's only the hottest most coolest boy in this entire lame city. I've been crushing on him since I was like twelve.
  • Chad: Uh, okay.
  • Normal Girl: Did I just say that out loud!?
  • Chad: *sits at the table* Listen, I don't care what you or your friend think of me. I need help!
  • Best Friend: Have you murdered somebody?
  • Normal Girl: Do you need a girlfriend?
  • Chad: No, it's the ocean. The sound of her waves crashing against the shore is like a faultless siren song. There isn't a single night where I don't have visions of floating within her cold embrace. The allure of her boundless depths beckon to me like a lover. I'm afraid that if I don't get help soon, I'll find myself taken away by her to a fate unknown.
  • Normal Girl: *internally* Great, this is a chance to finally use my power to speak to cetaceans to my benefit! *externally* But why do you need us to help you?
  • Chad: You guys are the biggest fucking degenerate weirdos in this washed up town. If anyone knows how to deal with this, it's you two.
  • Best Friend: Haha, truuuuuu!
  • Normal Girl: I'm not a weirdo! I'm a completely normal girl.
  • Chad: Dude, you fucking talk to fish.
  • Best Friend: You do talk to fish.
  • Normal Girl: I don't talk to fish! *internally* I talk to cetaceans, they're mammals, not fish. Also, that's supposed to be a secret, dammit!
  • *at the shore*
  • Chad: Ah, Mother Ocean! Take me!! Take me!!! *attempts to run into the ocean, but gets held back by the normal girl and her best friend*
  • Best Friend: Simmer down, aqualad!
  • Chad: Why did you fools take me here, if not to release into the embrace of sweet Mother Ocean!?
  • Normal Girl: We talked it over and we decided that the best way to get you over your obsession is make you hate the ocean.
  • Chad: Does it involve you talking to fish?
  • Normal Girl: Yes, I mean no. I mean, fuck! Cetaceans aren't fish.
  • *the normal girl sits at the edge of shore, her eyes rolls up in her head as she proceeds to make fucked up porpoise sounds*
  • Normal Girl: *falls over limp*
  • Best Fried: She died.
  • Chad: Does this mean that I'm free to wade into Mother Ocean and meet my fate among her ever chaotic waes?
  • Best Friend: *lets chad go* Yeah, dude. I'm too far gone to care about things anymore.
  • Chad: *strips off all of his clothes* Good. I now understand that there was no avoiding this. This was always a forgone conclusion. My fate is with the waves. Sayonara, weird best friend guy.
  • Chad: *runs into the ocean*
  • Best Friend: *kicks the normal girl's body* Guess she really is dead.
  • Best Friend: *walks home as the night encroaches* My closest friend is dead, and Chad is probably dead too. I wonder where my fate lies?
  • Best Friend: *yawns* Maybe I should go to sleep and just dance myself to death finally. No, I don't think I could go to sleep even if I wanted to anymore. I'm probably going to die from exhaustion in the next few days, not having felt rest or comfort again. Or maybe I'll just stay awake forever. I feel like I was supposed to have an epiphany here, or some type of awakening. But, there's nothing. I feel like everything I've ever done has been pointless. God, I'm just really tired.
  • *back at the shore*
  • Porpoise: *beaches itself*
  • *a gray fleshy version of the normal girl crawls halfway out of the porpoises mouth*
  • Normal Girl: There goes my corpse! *drags her weird porpoise body towards the corpse* Why did I die with such a dumb expression on my face? Lame! I hope Chad didn't see.
  • Normal Girl: *looks around with beady eyes* No one's here. I can finally do this.
  • Normal Girl: *kisses her dead body on the lips* Blargh!
  • Normal Girl: *spits out blood* I bit my tongue when I died. Gross. I guess I can cross making out with my dead body and becoming a mermaid off of my bucket list, though.
  • Normal Girl: *sighs*

tbh u know what i hate: the whole idea that you can’t really be a fan of a celebrity if you call them out on stuff. like, if anything, i think it makes you just as much of a fan as everyone else because you’re recognizing them as a normal, human being who does dumb/shitty things like every other person in the world. & while its DAMN hard to admit that someone you admire isn’t perfect, its super important to be able to humanize them too.


Summary: You’re the one who is always picked on, almost every day, and you’re so sick and tired of it. Nobody helps you, until one fateful day. 

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (ALTERNATE UNIVERSE)

Word Count: 3,109 Words

Warnings: Bullying, fluff, angst, a bit of violence and gore, sappiness 

A.N: I’m always one for women standing up for themselves, but this idea just came to me and some standing up happens in the end. I swear I normally don’t like ‘damsels in distress’ but this story just happens to have a reader character a bit like that. Sorry. 

You hate life. Specifically, you hate school. No, it isn’t all those tests and assignments that teachers wanted you to do all the time, because despite those being an absolute pain, it definitely isn’t the worst thing you endured. You’re actually a reasonably smart person, and you find classes relatively easy. However, outside of classes…things are pretty terrible.

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Joker/Harley/Reader imagine: You’re sick

Hi, can you do a Joker x Reader x Harley? I would appreciate. :)

Originally posted by geekcomics

Originally posted by i-mitacja

Your P.O.V.

Oh dear how bad things could feel when I was sick. Everything seemed ten times worse than normally and I hated every bit of it!

My throat was sore as fuck and my head felt like a bomb, ticking every second and the pressure was building up. My muscles ached and overall I felt like a wreck. Harley ,Joker and I were driving around Gotham city two days ago and by the shore I got out of the car. Perfectly I decided to jump down and take a swim. It started raining and everything sucked. Batman came around and I had to swim in the cold sea for longer than expected and I was sneaky enough to get away. But I had to walk home with wet clothes.

Now I had a fever.

‘’Aw poor thing’’ Harley sighed and slid down onto the couch next to me. I was watching tv, a series called ‘Gotham’. So far it was pretty okay. I tilted my head to see my girlfriend in her pink pajamas. Oh did I forget to mention that we were in a poly relationship? It was kinda awesome, at least for us.

‘’Let me take care of ya’’ Harley smiled widely and moved on the couch, standing on her knees. ‘’You’ll catch this’’ I warned her with a hoarse voice. I watched as she rolled her pretty blues and grabbed a pillow. Then she poofed it in her hands. Just then Joker appeared out of nowhere. ‘’How are my two favourite girls?’’ He purred and his red lips curved into a big metallic grin. I opened my mouth to speak, but then I felt like I had to sneeze.

I put my hand in front of my face and then took two deep breaths before sneezing. It made me a little dizzy. ‘’She’s sick’’ Harley told Joker and then put the pillow behind my head. ‘’No shit’’ I whispered playfully and then grabbed a tissue, wiping my hands and nose on it. ‘’Oh Y/N..That leaves us with one thing’’ Joker started and then I noticed he was shirtless. He grabbed a dark grey blanket and put it on me, tucking me in softly. ‘’We’ll have to take care of you. Right Harley?’’ Joker looked at miss madness over here a little darkly.

That look never meant anything good. 

‘’Yes Puddin’’ The words left Harley’s mouth slickly. ‘’I don’t want you to to get sick as well’’ I tried to speak without losing my voice. Suddenly Joker just laid down right next to me, wrapping one arm around me. I sighed and tried to ignore that he just couldn’t understand no. I didn’t want him or Harley to get sick because of me. 

‘’Don’t worry. We’ll get some medicines for you to pop up and you’ll be good to go’’ He promised cheerfully. Yeah right. Harley snuggled up to me on the other side and put her hand on my stomach, of course on the blanket. ‘’Don’t be so worried Y/N. It’s going to be okay!’’ She purred lovingly and traced patterns with her fingers. Well I warned them.

‘’What’s this show?’’ Harley asked me as we all stared at the big flat screen in front of us. ‘’Gotham’’ I replied shortly and then tried to relax. ‘’Oh how exciting!’’ Joker chuckled and sounded happy. He liked shows that were filmed here or had anything to do with Gotham. ‘’ Hey princess’’ Harley looked at me, straight into my eyes. I just nodded. ‘’I’ll go and getcha some drugs to make you feel better’’ She promised and placed a kiss on my cheeks. Knowing Harley I wasn’t sure whether she meant real drugs or medicines by drugs. Then she got up and walked away, leaving me with Joker.

‘’If I knew how to cook I’d make ya some soup’’ He admitted after a while. I couldn’t help but to smile at him. ‘’I’ll be fine J’’ I whispered calmly and leaned a little against him. ‘’This is Batman’s fault’’ He stated bluntly and I just nodded. ‘’Well we can kick his ass later’’ He laughed again and I knew he’d do anything to piss off that bat. ‘’You, me and Harley. A deadly trio’’ I said although my throat hurt. Joker looked into my eyes and I saw love in the middle of that chaos. ‘’You two are my’re so clever’’

‘’I’m back!’’ Harley declared and ran over with something in her hands. I looked closer and saw two things which didn’t surprise me at all. She had Burana, water and a joint. A long joint. ‘’I thought we could share this’’ She answered my unspoken question. ‘’Come here Harls. We’ll have to stay in all day’’ Joker fake pouted. Harley was back on the couch with us quickly. 

I loved these two.

*claps hands together*

Opinions, dude
Personal preferences, dude

Isn’t this the Internet, people behind screens and not random souless bastards?
I’m not on anyone’s side but, this isn’t the first time this has happened. 
Even though, I believe it’s one of the first times in the EW fandom though..?

Many other fandoms have those kinds of ships. Some hate them, some love and praise them. But is it really people should callout others about? What about DMs? Wouldn’t the situation be settled if they TALKED like normal people instead of one of them starting it off as PUBLIC??

You can’t just,, do that man,, That’s like me calling out *I dont wanna insult this tumblr, but they’re also a famous eddsworld artist* that has drawn Rick x Morty *sexually* in the past (and a few unnerving DHMIS things on their old account, which is deleted now) 

But I have NOT SEEN a SINGLE POST about them being a  “Pedophile that is turned on by insest”??

I’m just confused
What even is ‘Tumblr’

A Spell to Sweeten a Lover

So let’s get something straight: I hate arguing with my boyfriend. It stresses me out and makes me feel shitty. But sometimes, we’re both having a bad week and can’t help getting on each other’s cases about the smallest thing. And it is tiring, let me tell you. This spell is to help you and a partner cut down on the sass and get back to the love. It has the added benefit of being a delicious smoothie. 

There are two ways to do this. The first is quite simple. Make a normal strawberry smoothie and focus on your intent. Do whatever is is you like to make it witchy, such as burning an incense while it blends, have a rose quartz in your hand, say some magic words: whatever you want. Strawberries already have a love association, so the magic is all there ready and waiting for you to call upon. 

Or, you can do things my way, which means making it more complicated fun. 

Which means we’re making a simple syrup.

A strawberry one.


To make the simple syrup, bring one cup of water to boil. Then, add one cup of white sugar and stir clockwise until dissolved completely. Reduce heat; Add in 6-8 strawberry tops. Continue to stir clockwise until the strawberries begin to lose color and the water turns a pale pink. If you so desire, strain the syrup using a cheese cloth to get rid of the small seeds or strawberry particles. 

Ensure the ~witchy-ness~ by focusing on intent, on peaceful and loving vibes, I also burned a vanilla incense, white candle, and had some crystals set on my stove as I cooked the syrup. The effect was quite pleasing. 

The great thing is, this syrup can be used in a lot, not just this spell. While it will be charged with loving energy, you can use it for self-love, devotional acts, or other forms of love spells. Get creative! Be sure to store in the refrigerator so that it stays good. It will likely keep for a week, maybe two. 

Alright, now the smoothie. Get in my belly. 

- 1 cup frozen strawberries
- 1 banana (optional – if omitted, add more strawberries)
- 1 cup of milk*
- honey*
- 1 tablespoon strawberry simple syrup

Place fruit in the blender, followed by honey, milk, and syrup. Blend. Add more fruit (or ice) or milk depending on thickness preference. If so desired, add more syrup or honey to sweeten further. 

Garnish with a fresh strawberry. When you serve the smoothie, take the first sip at the same time as your partner. And, of course, enjoy!  

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I just  miss Ziam Masterpost

I’ve been missing ziam to much lately :(

Just look at the fond in their eyes 

Zayn just really loves Liam ok 










They are such dorks I am in love







Med Bays - Bucky Barnes

Title: Med bays

Parings: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Since Bucky has been to the med bay once and saw (Y/N) there, he just could not stop getting hurt.

Words: 2’908

Warnings: blood, me pretending to know stuff

Genere: fluff (I guess)

A/N: Hi, I am aliiiive. I’ve not written since august and I am not as active as I used to be. But I am trying again. Be patient with me, it’s my first Imagine in months still trying to get into things again. As always not from an English speaking country, so excuse my mistakes.

- Katie xx

Your name: submit What is this?

(Y/F/N) - your first name

(Y/L/N) - your last name

(Y/H/C) - your hair color


If there would be something Bucky Barnes hated the most, it would be doctors. They only did bad things to him. Like the medics in Hydra, who were supposed to help him, or at least that is what normal people think, when they hear the word doctor or nurse. Someone who took care of them. But Hydra medics made everything worse. The tried new methods to whip his memory, wounds he got from fights as an Agent usually only got stitched up quickly and careless. But it wasn’t just that. Even before the war Bucky refused to go to the doctors.

He explained to Steve once: ”Listen Jerk, If there would be something wrong with my health and I could die or I am sick I wouldn’t wanna know it“.

Steve didn’t understand that. Because Steve spent his whole live in hospitals and doctors offices.
Even after Hydra, after becoming an official Member of the Avengers Barnes wouldn’t go. Every wound had to be stitched up by Steve or himself. Steve still urged him to go. He just refused every time. But there was a point where Bucky just didn’t have a choice anymore. Because two gunshot wounds couldn’t be stitched up so easily. Even though Bucky still didn’t want to go. But Steve already called the medics to the hanger bay, before the Quinn jet even landed.

”I hate you,” Bucky said.

Steve rolled his eyes at his best friend although worry was written all over his face.

”Just keep pressure on that wound. I really hope she can fix you up my friend,” he said shaking his head.

He was still angry at Bucky. His actions on this mission were careless and stupid. The Duo infiltrated a Hydra base and instead for doing it in stealth mode like planned, Bucky seemed to look for a fight. Which got him shot. Twice.
The plane landed and Steve opened the door. Bucky saw the stretcher two men held ready for him and he freaked out.

”I will not let you roll me in to the med bay on this thing,” he said with gritted teeth.

Steve shook his head and helped his friend up, who obviously seemed to struggle with that simple task. Bucky let Steve help him, because the pain was getting harder and he really needed help. They reached the stretcher and Bucky looked at it angry. That was beneath his dignity. He was a solider and a Avenger he would not be rolled in just to get treated by some lousy doctor.

”Hell no, I’ll walk,“ Bucky said crossing his arms and ignoring the pain.

Steve was close to fixing him on to this thing. It would be easy. He could just push him down. But to be honest it was hard to even get him to go to the doctor. So making Buck angry really wouldn’t help.

”Just get on this thing or I’ll carry you over my shoulder,“ he said sternly.

He had his Captain America voice on. But Bucky didn’t care. So Steve did carry him to the med bay. Because he was to stubborn. Bucky didn’t really know this way. He has never been here before. But he could see that Steve entered a big open room. Well Bucky was already fading in and out of consciousness.

”Oh Stevie, who is that big lump over your shoulder?“ A female voice asked.

To be honest she sounded very nice. Did she have an accent? Not from here. And she called Steve Stevie?  
His friend didn’t like when people called him that. He tried once. Got him beat up in training pretty bad. This girl must have been some special kind of snowflake.

”He got shot two times,” Steve sighed and placed friend on the surgery couch.

Bucky could see a shape of a woman. She seemed young and had (Y/H/C) hair. She was beautiful. Maybe it was an angle. Although he could not make out features, she must have been beautiful.

”We have Stretcher to carry him you know?,“ she giggled, turned around and grabbed something.

Bucky nearly didn’t feel how the needle of the injection went through his arm.

”Please just take care of him (Y/N),” Steve pleaded. The young woman nodded.

”No worries Steve,“ she said placing a hand on his shoulder and smiled at Bucky.

Her face was the last thing he saw when he faded in to unconsciousness.


James Barnes was never in the med bay before. That is why (Y/N) found him so interesting. She stitched him up and now waited until he was waking up. She also got the chance to take some blood from him, his DNA and all that stuff. He was the only Avenger they didn’t have in there data bank yet. Although Steve told her not to tell his friend that she took blood from him. He would get way to paranoid. She was testing his blood when he woke up. She couldn’t hear that though. Because Bucky was absolutely quiet. And when a master assassin was quiet nothing would be heard. He got up and stood behind her. He starred at the woman’s back with his head titled to the side and his eyes squinted together. Should he just leave without her knowing? He didn’t trust her. Did she even stich him up right? He was about to check his bandages.

”Yea, Mr. Barnes. I am quite qualified to treat two bullet wounds,“ (Y/N) said and turned around in her chair.

Bucky took a step back. She did quite surprise him by talking. He looked at her face. And it took his breath away. She was beautiful. Her eyes shone in a bright (Y/E/C) and a few (Y/H/C) framed her face. The rest of her hair was in a low ponytail. She was dressed in a white doctors coat, jeans and a blouse. So simple but filled with radiation beauty. He was so caught up in starring at her that it took him a moment to register what she said.

”How did you do that?“ he asked.

(Y/N) laughed slightly.

”Mr. Barnes. You are not the only one here with ability,“ she said in a deep voice.

She did try to sound like Nick Fury, but really failed. She was lying it was just a coincident that she looked up and saw him standing there in the reflection of the window. The handsome man scared her a bit. He looked very grumpy. Well then she would make him more happy. She giggled.

”Just kidding. I don’t have any superhuman talents. Just a doctor,” she said and stretched out her hand for the grumpy man to shake.

”I’m Dr. (Y/F/N) (Y/L/N). But call me (Y/N),“ she continued.

Her nice voice and warm smile on the plump lips made him lift a corner of his own mouth with a crocked smile. He couldn’t stop it. There was just something about her. He shook her hand.

”James Barnes. But call me Bucky,” he said.

She nodded. And let go of his hand.

”Well I have never seen you here James. Let’s hope this time was the first and last time you got hurt,“ She said still smiling, ignoring his please to call him Bucky.

He didn’t comment on it verbally, but the little movement in his eyebrows gave away the unpleasantness he felt when she called him by his real name.

”You shouldn’t do to much of physical activity in the next weeks. Your supersolider heeling makes that only two weeks. So ’yey’ to that. No missions but you should be fine in any another way. You are free to go,” she explained.

Bucky nodded. Finding himself not wanting to leave just yet. This woman intrigued him. She was nice. Not like he expected a doctor to be like. And he didn’t even expect the doctor to be a woman. He liked her and he felt like getting to know her. But he didn’t really find an excuse to stay. So he moved to the door.

”Thanks Doll,” he said with a cooky smile.

He didn’t really know form where that, pet name came, but it worked. She blushed slightly.

”It’s doctor (Y/L/N) for you, James,” she said as he was nearly out of the door.

He turned around looking at her happy.

”It’s Bucky, Doll,“ he said and then the brown haired man was gone.


This wasn’t the last time Bucky visited the med bay. At the next mission he had a knife in his leg. Not his worst wound, but still dangerous. Steve offered to stitch him up but Buck instead on going to the medics. Steve didn’t think a lot of it. At least he didn’t at the start. Bucky started to get hurt more and more. Never fatal. The opposite really. They were so precisely, like he meant to have wounds but none fatal ones. He always went to the med bay.
Doctor (Y/L/N) always fixed him up. And after he felt better he would even stay around for a chat.
(Y/N) once said to him: “I’m starting to feel like you are getting hurt on purpose, James,“.
Bucky laughed it off. But there was some truth to it. He didn’t mind the the attacks. He could have prevented all of them. But he stopped caring. If it meant seeing her. There was some thing about her. He couldn’t really place it. It was this feeling she was giving him. Warmth to be exact. Okay to be honest Bucky was in love with her. It felt like the moment he saw her, he was.
Bucky got stabbed again. This time a worse wound just next to his rip cage. Steve was worried. But Bucky was smiling, when he looked at him. Steve shook his head. Something was just wrong with his friend. He has been acting weird lately.

“Okay, why are you so happy. Buck you just got stabbed,” Steve said as he helped his friend walk to the Med bay.

Bucky shook his head at himself. He tried to stop smiling, but the idea of seeing (Y/N) again, made him so happy.

”Nothing. I mean we won…Hura”, Bucky lied.

They indeed did stop the Hydra agents. But Buck had the price to pay. Both of them. Steve wasn’t hurt bad, but he was exhausted. It was a bad fight and a long mission. And Steve felt like he deserved a cup of tea and a few days on the sofa rewetting that Gilmore Girls show (Y/N) showed him. The thought of a chill tv session made him calmer.
They arrived in the med bay and Steve laid him on a stretcher in the room. Bucky closed his eyes really quick and took a deep breath. Laying down hurt. Also breathing hurt. So he flatly breathed in. The knife was still stuck in him because pulling it out would making him lead out. But this just hurt like a bitch.
He heard footsteps walk in and opened his eyes quickly. He was so excited to see her. But he was disappointed when he saw someone else. A young man with glasses and messy hair.
Bucky’s smile fell and he stared at the man with anger.

“Uhm, Hi I am… I’m doctor Jacks,“ he introduced himself.

He was nervous. Bucky assumed he was scared of him.

”Where is Doctor (Y/L/N),“ he asked grim.

The young man looked between Steve and Bucky.

“It’s her day off, so I will take care of you today,“ his voice was tiny.

He was scared of the wide shoulders man that was covered in blood.
Bucky didn’t like it. He hated doctors. Well except for one. He’d rather not get treated at all.

“Okay, I’m fine then,“ he said and tried getting up.

But Steve placed a hand on his shoulder. A strong hand. But let’s be honest Bucky felt week. He didn’t like that feeling. He wasn’t used to it. He wasn’t used to being venerable.

“You are not fine. Don’t be an idiot Buck,“ he said.

Bucky shook his head.

“No I’ll only get treated by her,“ he said loud.

Steve sighed. Why the hell was his best friend so stubborn?

“I’ll call her and tell her it’s an emergency,“ Steve said and gabbed his phone.

The doctor picked up after a few times ringing. Bucky heard Steve explain what was happening.

“No he doesn’t want him to be treated by Mike…No…listen, (Y/N)…I,“ he stuttered.

Bucky new by Steves face that she was not happy.

“Okay…She wants to talk to you,“ he said grim and held the Phone infant of Bucky’s face.

Barnes took it with worry eyes. Steve walked to Dr. Jacks and gave him some orders from his Boss.

“Hello?“ James asked slowly.

“You are an idiot. I am on my way. But you are gonna have to pull the knife out. Or that wound could get infected and you could die even faster. So…pull it out and keep pressure on it. I’ll be here in 10’,“ she said in a distressed voice.

Bucky agreed.

“Oh and James, If you die on me now, I’ll freaking kill you,“ she said and hung up.

And that made Bucky smile again. God, he loved her.


(Y/N) was angry when she walked in. Steve sat next to Bucky looking distressed. She dropped her bag, grabbed her doctors coat and her gloves. James sat there slowly bleeding out.

“God Barnes. Why?“ she said annoyed and started stitching him up with what Dr. Jacks already prepared for her.

“You look beautiful,“ James sad with a quiet voice.

But (Y/N) just shook her head. She hated seeing him hurt. She also ignored him and looked up to Steve.

“Steve, I promise you he is gonna be fine. I know you want to stay here, but I need space to work. So can you please..,“ she said and nodded to the door.

Steve sighed and walked out. He looked like a kicked puppy. Great he made Steve sad and her angry. He just sucked at having friends.

“You could have let Jacks help you. I am quiet qualified in choosing my employees. He is good in what he does,” She rambled and continued working .

She was nervous. The wound was deep. It scratched an important vein. She would have to close it fast. He lost a lot of blood.  

“I don’t like doctors,“ Bucky mumbled looking at how she worked on his lover abdomen.

She did look beautiful. He wanted to touch her. Anything of her. Her hand, her face or her shoulder. Just something. He wanted to feel her soft skin under his hands. But he held back. She was working for his survival.
(Y/N) was impressed. Bucky didn’t flinch once. Even tough she didn’t give him anything against the pain. That was because James didn’t like these things. They made stuff blurry and he didn’t like being unaware of his surroundings. That is what he told her. It was true. But Bucky wasn’t sure if there may was another reason to it. Maybe he welcomed the pain.

"James I am a doctor. You let me treat you,” she mentioned and looked up to him.

Her hands stopped after she pulled the needed trough his flesh. Bucky sighed. She looked as if she wanted him to say something. As if she wanted him to tell her that he was in love with her. He cocked his head. He lifted his hand and placed it to her cheek. He hovered over it. Not sure if he should follow the urge to touch her. She was so pure and good. And he just had to look at his hand to see what kind of person he was. His hand was bloody and his knuckles were bruised.
She noticed his waiting and smiled. Sometimes she thought he was stupid. He didn’t see. He never saw how utterly in love she was with him.

“It’s okay,” she said and grabbed his hand to place it on her cheek.

It was so soft. Just as he remembered it, when he touched her before.
He smiled as well. He couldn’t not smile. And then he just decided to go with it. He kissed her. It was shy at first and he was holding back, but as soon as she leaned in to him, he stopped holding himself back and pulled her closer. Her lips were so soft on his. And it just felt so right. There lips belonged together. After they kissed for a while he stopped and pulled away. He placed his forhed on hers and breathed heavily.

“Listen (Y/N) I’m so sorry. I just got hurt because I wanted to see you more,“ he mumbled.

She laughed quietly.

“I’ve realized that James. But next time just ask me out,“ she mumbled and kissed him again.

And to her it felt like coming home. It took her blurry brain a bit to realize that he was still not good. So this time she pulled away.

“I mean as good as kissing you feels. You are still hurt,” she said and Bucky laughed.

She got back to stitching him up and he didn’t even feel anything but happiness anymore.


A/N: I’ve posted it like five minutes ago and then realized that it took my name for every (Y/N) part because I had my InteractiveFics turned on. And it fills out the name automatically. So Ih ave to upload it on Safari but I forget sometimes. So please don’t think I am weird and write my imagine with my own name.