normal is just a dryer setting

This is my true account of how my curiosity and interest in men came to be- below are two photos that represent how my father looked when I was younger-

Ever since I can remember I have been somewhat curious, intrigued, interested in thick hairy men. Strong hairy bear types, football player builds, more overweight hairy older men. I strongly believe this goes back to when I was a young kid in a small one bathroom home. If my dad was showering or shaving and I had to use the bathroom he’d let me in. I’d sit on the toilet and watch him soak in the tub- his masculine thick football player bear type physique with the water and suds in the tub caressing his chest and nipple line. His beefy hairy legs sticking out of the water. I would hear him shaving and scurry in to watch him as he would shave naked! I was so mesmerized by his plump round hairy ass and his thick long cock. He had really plump balls and a hairy bush above his cock. I didn’t know what I was feeling or thinking I just knew it was so hypnotic to watch his penis bump against the counter as he would shave and it made me feel something, which I later found out to be arousal - A few years later we decided to finish the basement and add a bathroom it was a long process and I remember that they had put the studs up and sheet rock and install the sink shower and toilet. One day I was in the basement and I heard the shower turn on I was in the laundry room and I could see light coming through the cracks in the sheet rock I went over and kind of peered through the crack in the sheet rock and I saw my dad I’m dressing as he got in the shower!
Once again I was drawn in I couldn’t look away and I started to feel that same arousal feeling as he stood in the shower with water running down his body dripping off his cock coursing through their hair on his chest and his bush in the hair on his thighs- I felt a strange tingling sensation that started at the base of my balls and round up my whole body I had no idea what I was feeling it felt good but it felt different for several weeks every time I heard the shower going downstairs I made a beeline for the laundry room and set up camp sitting on the dryer so I could watch.
One day just going through my normal routine watching him shower I noticed that he started to really fondle and stroke his cock I didn’t know what he was doing I’d never seen that before but he continued to do it while one
hand caressed the furr on his stomach and his chest I noticed that every so often his hands would go up and play with his nipples , he started panting and letting out deep soft quiet moans and groans I had noticed and seen his cock before but I’d never seen it like this he’d grown it was bigger it was hard it was huge! His hand slid back and forth his head leaned back as the water continued to cascade down his body his moans and grunts came quicker and quicker as his hand gripped tighter on his thick shaft he was pumping harder until all of the sudden he let out a large grunt and shot a creamy substance all over the wall there was so much of it it was running and dripping down the wall and Off his hand and off the tip of his cock I noticed that my cock was stiff and hard I started to caress and rub it through my shorts it felt so good !!


I am very interested to know if any other men experienced this when they were young please share!!! Especially if Mormon

my stream of consciousness during death note (2017)

So I finally watched this shit show last night, and kept a running document of every thought I had in order. Here are some of the top ones: (under the cut because….it gets a little long. it’s worth it though!) 

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Laying the Groundwork

A/N: SURPRISE: I wrote a new thing! So my brain was in dire need of producing something with a little more humour and a lot more romance than the other things I’ve been writing as of late. Alas, this steamy, fun little story happened. This is Part I of II or III. Hope you like it! 😊

A/N 2: I began to write this for the ss month prompt “Connected Feelings” but evidently I really missed the deadline.

Summary: Sasuke and Sakura are both ready for physical intimacy, but neither is willing to make a move until the other expresses where their feelings stand. The catch is that neither knows how to express where their feelings stand. SasuSaku. Blank period.

Genre: Romance / Humour

Rated: T (Teen) for sexual themes

Disclaimer: All characters belong to the great Masashi Kishimoto

Read on FanFiction.net


PART I

It was the first night Sasuke and Sakura agreed to share a bed.

And I know what you’re thinking: our vagabond heroes are winding up for a steamy, passionate night, aren’t they? I mean, finally, after months of mutual dependency and roaming foreign lands, prowling the wild like predators and becoming attuned to each others’ basic, primal needs, Sasuke and Sakura must be ready to put a physical seal on their ever-growing, soul-connecting emotional bond… right?

Well, not exactly.

It was a choice borne of logic, not passion, because the only single-person rooms available at the only inn in town were enormous and, frankly, irritatingly expensive (to borrow a word from Sasuke himself). “What’s there to see in this town that made them hike up the prices?” Sasuke mumbled into his travelling companion’s ear, while ignoring the clerk’s glare. She could hear everything he was saying.

He’s got a point, Sakura thought, because this little town, somewhere on the Northern boarders of Fire country, wasn’t even a spec on the maps. “We could just share,” she proposed while trying to keep her voice as nonchalant as one possibly could when suggesting something so obviously… suggestive.

Sasuke stared at her for a moment while a million thoughts crossed his mind. Could she… She doesn’t want to…?

He stopped himself mid-thought.

No, that wasn’t what this was about. Sakura was practical and resourceful and that was why she wanted to share a room (and that was why he liked her).

“One room,” he said to the clerk.

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dag nabbit! that pesky june weather has gotten fairly cloudy and left the matsunos’ hair looking like as if they just got out of the shower and couldn’t find a blow dryer! for some reason, they look better than they normally do…

anyways, a “june gacha” is out, with a nice “sun praying neets’ big strategy!” event set rate up! it’ll last from 2PM JUNE 5TH to 11:59PM JUNE 9TH, JST. good luck getting those meddlesome matsus!

original tweet | mod kara

Heaven Scent Chapter Eight

Heaven Scent | Dan Howell rarely leaves the house unless he has too, too socially awkward to function normally around other people, and generally making his only friends through Louise, a sweet beta who took him under her wing a few years back when they were both still in college. It’s no surprise, then, that the omega has yet to find a mate, despite craving one rather a lot. It’s not until he attends Louise’s birthday party and gets accidentally-on-purpose set up with an attractive alpha named Phil Lester who smells absolutely heavenly that Dan starts to fall into a proper romance, complete with courting and scenting and the like. | Phan | Mature | A/B/O dynamics (Omegaverse fic), Fluff, Getting Together, Eventual Smut, Courting | 7,465 Words this chapter

Disclaimer: In no way do I pretend that this is real or cast aspersions on Dan or Phil.

Hello my friends! Ahhh, this is the final chapter of Heaven Scent, and I can’t believe it’s ended up quite as long as it appears to have :O In three weeks, I’ve managed to write 57K words, and to top it all off, this is the first chaptered fic I’ve completed on my own in at least 4 years, if not more, so… to say I’m proud of myself would be a complete and utter understatement.

Thank you to everyone whose supported this story since day one, when I first started writing it, and when I first started posting. It’s meant the world to me to have people so excited to see a story that defies the norm of what this trope usually is. Thank you as well to every person who has left a comment, or messaged me to show me their support and to tell me that this is the first time they’ve enjoyed this trope, as that is all I’ve ever wanted to do with this fic.

I’m so sad to see this ending, but all great things must come to an end, I’m afraid. I hope to eventually do a semi-sequel including some mpreg, for those who are interested, but I do start school again in 3 days, so I can’t promise when or if that sequel will appear <33 Still, maybe look out for it <33

This chapter does contain smut and sexual situations, so please read the second half in particular with caution. I promise you’ll know when it’s coming.

(Ao3) (Previous)

Chapter Eight

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I’ve been debating whether or not to make this post for a while now, but given recent events I feel like it’s as relevant a time as ever to share this story. 

I’m as happy as anyone else that Wonder Woman is so successful, and I’m psyched as hell to eventually see it myself. But people tend to use it as a vehicle with which to tear down the previous DCEU movies, and while people often come to the defense of Man of Steel and Batman v Superman, more often than not I see Suicide Squad being left out or thrown under the bus or otherwise ignored. 

As many of my followers know, I am obsessed with Suicide Squad. It just struck a cord with me in a very deep and meaningful way, and this personal story I’m about to share is only one of many reasons as to why.

I know a lot of people like to make fun of Suicide Squad, and that’s fine, whatever, have your fun, I don’t care. There’s just one line in particular from the movie I see criticized possibly more than any other line of dialogue in the film.

When Harley Quinn is chastising Diablo for wanting a normal life and a family while also being a metahuman, and she says “Normal is a setting on the dryer.”

Yeah, okay, it’s a funny line. It does totally sound like something you would see on a T-shirt at Hot Topic or something. But that line is so important to me, and here is why:

For anyone who doesn’t already know this about me, I’m autistic. I was diagnosed when I was eleven, just starting middle school. I had a guidance counsellor who decided the best thing to do in order to prepare my fellow classmates for dealing with me was to tell my entire class that I was autistic.

At this point in time, autism wasn’t something that was widely talked about or educated about, and these are middle schoolers we’re talking about here. Most of them didn’t really know what autism was or what it meant. I wish I could tell you that I got bullied, but that’s not what happened. If anything, I was picked on more BEFORE my diagnosis came out.

But once everyone knew? They avoided me like the plague, because they thought that they would catch it if they got too close.

I didn’t have a friend in the world.

I came home from school one day, crying, and told my dad about it; told him that no one wanted to talk to me or be my friend because I wasn’t “normal.” I will never forget what he said to me.

He said, “Well, what’s normal, anyway? Normal doesn’t exist. Normal is just a setting on a dryer.

That stuck with me ever since. Hearing that line said in a movie, a superhero movie, and coming from Harley Quinn of all people, a character I’ve loved since childhood, was huge for me.

That’s what Suicide Squad means to me. It means that no matter who you are, even if you’re someone who society considers “bad” or “wrong” or “abnormal,” you can still be a hero and do good things and be successful even if you don’t even believe that about yourself. That’s why I connect so much more with the Squad than I do to any of the Avengers or yes, even the Justice League. These characters feel like they are made of the same stuff that I am made of. That’s why this movie is just as important as any other movie in the DCEU thus far.

So people can have their fun and their jokes, I’m not gonna try and take that away from them. Just so long as they don’t try and take that deeper, personal meaning away from me.

The Mods

Maria:

- an actual hoe

- does not know how to internet

- a grandmother (will learn how to knit for you, child) (Cano: aaaww)

- forgetful but has a planner

- will spend 2 hours in the shower singing showtunes (but the water’s off bc SAVE MOTHER EARTH PLZ) (Cano: me)

- pretends she can draw but can only letter oops (Cano: mE)


Eggy:

-musical trash

-confused all the time

-speaks in references (Cano: same) (Effie: stop stealing my title)

-there are so many interests i wanna pursue

-draws too many nerds

-normal? is that a disease? (Maria: normal’s just a setting on the dryer,,, EDGY)

-can’t sing or dance or act but still tries (Tac: shut the up your singing is good) (Cano: Seconded!) (Maria: you’re doing gr8 honey keep it up)

-doesn’t say “I love you” enough

-loves hugs too much (Cano: yes)


Eli:

- Introvert

- 0 fashion sense

- In wayyyyy too deep in wayyyy too many fandoms (Cano: high-five!) (Maria: three way high five?)

- Early bird

- Night Owl

- Breaks everything they touch (Tac: please touch my art form teacher’s skull) (Cano: yEs please) (Effie: same)

- Productivity who? (Cano: can relate)

- Good grades who?

- Likes being alone (Maria: relatable)

- Hates being seen alone


Tac:

- Mom (Maria: MY CHILD)

- k I n k y

- College!Alexander Hamilton but also not in college but also not really Hamilton y'know (Cano: sON—)(Tac: DON’T CALL ME SON)

- tries to draw and write

- hug :> (Cano: YES)

- internal and external screaming probably (Maria: big mood)

- Venn diagram of things you tell her not to do and things she does??circle

- A BIG MESS AND TRYING TO HELP EVERYBODY INCLUDING HERSELF CAN’T CONDENSE EVERYTHING SHE WANTS TO SAY INTO 8 POINTS HELP HELP H (Cano: sAME really)


Cano:

- Sucker for debate

- Pathological pen-spinner

- Suffers from Iamaspinelesspushoveritis and Crippling Procrastination™️

- Is really sorry (Tac: nO-)

- Has commitment issues

- Takes things way too seriously

- Hugs are the best

- Is kinda squishy (Tac: best bby) (Maria: C U T E !!!)

- Eats way too much for her own good (Maria: once again, relatable)


Effie:

- Usually TheReferencer

- Hello naughty children it’s angst time (Maria: h e c k y e a h)

- “dO NOT” (Tac: let’s do the thing)

- (but also please do)

-haha productivity who’s that never heard of her

-hug? (Cano: Y E S) (Maria: GROUP HUG) (Tac: GROUP SQUISH) (Cano: SQUEAL)

Suicide Squad | Sentence Meme

So even though I didn’t really care for this movie - the cheesy soundtrack, the casting, the overacting, etc. - the script was perfect for a sentence meme. So here ya go. A compilation of quotes from the film and deleted scenes, all wrapped up in a nice package. You can thank me later. xo

“I want to build a team of some very dangerous people.”
“My job is to keep you alive until you die. Do you understand that?”
“It’s taken me some time, but I finally have them.”
“You gonna come down from there or what?”
“Somehow, somehow, I’m gonna get outta here. And I’m gonna rain down on you like the Holy Ghost.”
“We’re bad guys, it’s what we do.”
“You know what they say about the crazy ones…”
“No money, no honey.”
“You are really in bad shape upstairs, lady!”
“Only my friends call me ____.”
“Oh, I’m not gonna kill you… I’m just gonna hurt you really, really bad.”
“Love your perfume. What is that, the stench of death?”
“I can’t wait to show you my toys.”
“Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you people?”
“Huh? What was that? I should kill everyone and escape?”
“It’s got a little bit of pasghetti in there - toenails, rat shit. Everything a growing fella needs.”
“Ya’ll jokers must be crazy.
“I’m known to be quite vexing, I’m just forewarning you.”
“You sweet talking me?”
“All that chit chat’s gonna get ya hurt.”
“Are you the devil?”
“Come on! I’m bored! I’m bored. Play with me.”
“I sleep where I want, when I want, with who I want.”
“I’m fighting fire with fire.”
“This is the exterminator you called for your rat problem.”
“My account’s looking a little thin.”
“I want you to come and live with me.”
“I know you do bad things. Don’t worry. I still love you.”
“Let’s just say, I put him in a hole and threw away the hole.”
“You know, I live for these moments with you.”
“I got you a kitty.”
“I need a machine gun.”
“Talk about a workplace romance gone wrong.”
“What do we have here?”
“What are you gonna do? You gonna kill me?”
“Oh! Party foul! Not cool!”

Keep reading

8

female characters i love [ 6/∞ ]
        harley quinn/dr harleen quinzel
 played by margot robbie in suicide squad

‘own that shit. own it! whad ya think was gonna happen, huh? what you would just think you could have a happy family and coach little leagues and make car payments? normal’s a setting on the dryer. people like us, we don’t get normal.’

Killer Croc: Long time no see

Words count: 1259

Warning: None

REQUESTED: Not my best work , but I hope you like it.

Killer Croc: Long time no see

“HEY, LET ME GO!” You shouted as military men held you down as a doctor injected you with something. They tied you to a wheelchair. You heard yelling and from Floyd Lawton better knowing as Deadshot, then Harley Quinn and they started wheeling you away, before you could see anything else.

“What are you doing with us?” You asked one of the men but they all ignored you. “Just you wait until I get my hands on my swords.”

You were wheeled out of the prison to un-known place. It had a lot of tints and soldiers and agents. You were tied to a chair, when they brought Deadshot beside you then Harley on his left. You were surprised when they brought Killer Croc out they placed him on your right. Then El Diablo, Captain Boomerang and Slipknot.

“Hey, Croc long time no see.” You gave him a smile and he looked down at you and gave you a nod.

“Wait you know him?” A man, who looked like he’s in charge asked.

“Wait you don’t?” You asked him sarcastically.

“Anyway, my name is Rick Flag…” He continued on talking, explaining what they injected in you how when you try to escape they will make your neck explode. What you were all doing and stuff like that. “…Now we’re going to untie you, so remember if you try anything you’re dead.”

They untied you all and you smiled. They even gave you your things, clothes and all. You finally got your swords, but you frowned when you still have the bracelets on your arms. They stopped you from making ice with your right hand and fire with you left. So when you held your swords one was frozen and the other was on fire.

“Hey Croc, can you help me?” You asked your old friend. Raising your arms to show him your hands.

“Yeah, sure.” He said but no one heard him but you. He crushed the bracelets very easily. You smiled and gave Croc a hug.

“Thank you.” You let go of him and turned around to go back to your box, but you soon realized everyone was looking at you. “What?”

They all turned back to what they were doing.

“You could have asked.” Flag said walking to you.

“Yes, but I’m not putting the on any more so there was no need.” You gave him a smirk and went back to what you were doing. You removed the ugly prison jumpsuit and changed into your clothes, right in front of the whole yard. Harley was doing the same as you, so when you were both done, you looked at each other, and then the silent men.

“What?”

.

.

.

It turned out the word needed you sooner than anyone thought. You were in the city and trying to save a mystery man. You were walking at night time, when suddenly weird creatures came out and started attacking you all. Croc was right beside you, he killed everyone who came too close to you. You were kicking ass with your swords, and soon everyone was dead and you didn’t have a scratch thanks to Croc.

“My hero.” You joked with Croc as you followed everyone else.

“Where did you go after that night?” Croc asked you and you sighed sadly, you knew he’d bring it up at one point. “I waited for you to come.”

You and Croc known each other for four years, you met by accident. You were using some tunnels when you came a cross him, while trying to escape from the cops. He let you hide, and surprisingly didn’t eat you. So every day for a month or so.  You’d bring him food and what not. Then he helped you in a job and you helped him in one, and soon you were doing jobs together.

It was one night when you were doing a big one, you were robbing a big bank, when Batman came. You were had no way out so Croc, held Batman down and shouted for you to go.

“GO!” He shouted and you shook your head.

“No, not without you!” You called back.

“(y/n), just leave.” He was desperate. “We’ll meet at our place(he’s talking about a hiding spot, not a house or something).”

So you did as he said, but you were ambushed. There was cops waiting for you. You fought hard to get out of their hold, but they were too much for you and they captured you.

“I got caught.” You told him sadly. “Thy cops surrounded me and put on me the bracelets to stop my powers, so I was defenseless.”

Croc didn’t know what to say so he just nodded. You continued our walk to the building, and surprise surprise the one you need to save was Amanda Waller. To say you were pissed would be an understatement. You got even pissed when she ordered Deadshot to kill Harley when Joker came to bust her out.

Waller helicopter got shot down, Haley is alive and you all went to a bar to see what you’ll do.

El Diablo was telling his story, when he finished.

“Normal is a setting on the dryer, people like us… we don’t get normal.” Harley told him and you looked at Croc sadly. You were sitting beside him.

“Why is it always a knife fight every time you open your mouth?” Deadshot asked her. “You know outside you’re amazing, but inside you’re ugly.”

“We all are.” She said and shrugged.

“We all are!” Deadshot agreed, and so did Boomerang.

“Except for him.” She said and pointed to Croc. “He’s ugly on the outside, too.”

“He’s not, he’s beautiful.” You stood up for Croc.

“Yeah, not me Shorty.” He said playfully. “I’m beautiful.”

You all laughed and you hugged Croc. Everyone kind of got into their own conversation.

“I missed you so much Croc.” You told him and put you hand on the table supporting your head.

“So did I (y/n)” He said sincerely, it was different hearing Croc show any emotion to anyone but to you it was normal.

“After all this is over, if we can I’ll stick with you.” You told him and put your hand on his mutated hand.

“And I won’t let you go.” He said and Flag walked in.

Rick said somethings and we all agreed to help him. So you all went out and guess what you won this fight. You killed the Enchantress and her big ass brother.

After saving the world they wanted to get you back to prison. When one of the men tried to cuff you. Croc got angry and he kicked the man away from you. You saw all the guns move to him.

“Wait!” You shouted to the men, and stood in front of Croc. “Croc, it’s okay. I’ll be okay.”

He grunted but let them cuff you and put on new bracelets, and put you in a big car, with the other. You sat next Croc. You leaned onto him, you were so tired. You fell asleep very fast.

When you wake up, you were almost at your destination. Croc had his arm around you. You were glad that you requested to see Croc every day when you get back to the prison.

“Croc.” You said quietly so you wouldn’t be heard, over ever ones chatter.

“Yes.”

“I really am glad that I got to see you again, and that I’ll get to see you every day.” You told him honestly.

“So am I.”

Why did everything in Harry’s house have to be so damn high?

It hadn’t been long since Kingsman’s very own Jesus had been cleared to go home from medical after spending months of gruelling physical therapy at the manor, and the moment he was cleared Eggsy had offered to help in any way he could. It was only fair, considering everything the man had done for him (there was also the teeny, positively almost nonexistent, really, little fact that Eggsy was in love with him, but that was neither here nor there).

While Harry puttered around the house trying to do as much as he could - and sometimes more than he could handle - Eggsy had taken to doing chores around the house; cleaning things like the floor where the repetitive movements were still hard on Harry’s muscles, making sure said man took the medication for said muscles as well as for his migraines (there was a whole rainbow of medications, and Eggsy had made a list to keep track of them all and pinned it to the fridge. And the bathroom mirror. There may also have been one on Harry’s nightstand. He just wanted him to get better, was that a crime?), and laundry.

Oh, laundry.

Eggsy could feel the strain in the backs of his calves as he balanced precariously on a stool, one leg jutting out behind him for balance, while he tried to reach for the socks that had made a home at the bottom of the dryer. It wouldn’t have been a hard task, normally, had Harry not gone for a stack set in the hall closet so that there could be a neat little folding table. But the fact of the matter remained that it was up high enough that Eggsy had somehow managed to get himself inside the machine. Almost. He was certain that with a little bit of wiggling he could unstick his shoulder.

Probably.

Eggsy let out a high keen at the back of his throat at the unfortunate nature of his circumstances, and right on cue there was a polite cough from the doorway. He felt himself sag.

“Need help?” There was laughter in Harry’s voice as he no doubt watched the process with interest, but Eggsy managed to turn just enough inside the dryer to be able to look at him.

“I’ve got it, Harry. Thank you.” Harry chuckled and closed the distance between them, one arm skimming up his back before wrapping around his waist firmly, and then the man appeared at his side, still holding him, to reach past him inside the dryer. Without looking at what he was doing, Harry plucked out all three socks Eggsy had been trying to reach.

“You could have just asked, you know.” The arm around his waist tightened as Harry helped guide him out of the machine without hurting himself or trying to dislocate any joints. Eggsy tried valiantly not to think about Harry’s hands on him, but with him so close it was a rather difficult task. Eventually - by the loosest sense of the term - he gave up and focused on trying not to make a noise that had the very real possibility of making Harry uncomfortable. When Harry managed to get him free he toppled backwards, feet hitting the floor about the same time as his back wound up against Harry’s chest, the man’s arm still locked around his waist.

“Didn’t want to trouble you.” Harry’s laugh was a rumble against his back, deep and rich, and Eggsy was glad Harry couldn’t see his face.

“You didn’t want to trouble me? Darling.” Eggsy slipped a little further into Harry’s hold at the endearment, and he considered it a rather embarrassing reflex. Harry’s fingers splayed over his side, and there was still laughter in Harry’s voice as he rested his chin on Eggsy’s head. “Nothing you could do will ever cause me trouble.”