norm's restaurant

Norm of the North Highlights

-a caribou wins a bet and demands the other caribou pay up. He pulls his antlers clean off from his head and says “at least these grow back” and puts them in the other caribous hooves (?????)
-A major plot point is everyone thinking Norm is an actor in a bear costume. There’s scenes where he switched places with an ACTUAL actor in a TERRIBLE polar bear costume and the villain is the only one who can tell the difference.
-there’s a scene where Ken Jeong’s character breaks into a sushi restaurant where Norm is dining and tries to shoot him with a tranquilizer. Norm takes the gun and stops him to the applause of the restaurant. The stereotypical Japanese sushi chef bows and says, I shit you not, “thank you, Norm-San. You will always be a guest to us”. Norm thanks him in fluent Japanese.
-my favorite FAVORITE FAVORITE scene that had me gasping for air was when Norm is on a talk show with an Oprah stand in and out of nowhere says “let’s take this to a BIGGER stage!” Suddenly “Shut Up and Dance” starts playing and Norm bursts out the door of the studio dancing, with the host dancing with the same smiling unmoving expression. Suddenly in less than a second THE ENTIRETY OF TIMES SQUARE CHEERS AND STOPS WHAT THEYRE DOING/STARTS DANCING WITH THESE STIFF REPEATED DANCE MOVEMENTS WITH SHUT UP AND DANCE PLAYING FOR LIKE A MINUTE.
-all the background character movements look like something from Xavier:Renegade Angel
-the minions-wannabe lemmings have a scene where they urinate in a fish tank with living fish swimming around for a solid minute. When the scene ends and they go into another room they proceed to urinate in a potted plant.
-there’s a girl polar bear with big eyelashes who talks to Norm maybe two times throughout the entire film but is treated like the long sought after love interest in the end and it shows them with cubs because she clearly needed to exist in the film just to have sex with Norm and give him a family he can tell his great twerking adventures about. (Credit to the film, against my expectations the cubs do not twerk)
-a small child is the only person to immediately recognize Norm as a real Polar Bear immediately but this is ONLY because she’s a literal genius who studies them intensely. Everyone else actually thinks he’s a guy in a bear costume.
-Norm is held at the bottom of the ocean by a laughably small piece of a ship that he could have easily pushed off. He closes his eyes and has a flashback of his entire life which just consists of random two second shots of every major character in the film, also the girl polar bear from their one conversation. This is enough to inspire Norm to persevere.
-there’s a wildly baffling and unneeded joke where Norm is put into a flashy colorful outfit but is hiding behind a curtain. His agent says “Norm! We need you to come out!” And when he steps out into the light he says “I think I already did”. The film gives you a few seconds to take it in and laugh because gay jokes in the talking polar bear movie!
-you think the film is going to end when the music swells and there’s a big dramatic shot of the starry sky as the film fades to black. But then a new scene starts that’s just Norm dancing and slapping his butt on a stage for about 30 seconds. Norm jumps off the stage and flattens the lemmings. Then the credits start for real. There is no relevance to the plot in what is the last scene in the movie.

anonymous asked:

Hi! Next year I'm going to live in France for Erasmus and it will be my first experience living alone (without my parents) and abroad. Could you give me some tips about it, please??

Hi! Looks like we’re in the same boat - I’m going to the UK with Erasmus this September and I’ve never lived by myself either (though I have been on vacation alone before). I don’t know what will happen either but I’m very much looking forward to it! I’ll try my best to give you some advice :) I’ll do a masterpost about this in October, but I guess you don’t want to wait that long haha

First, remember that Europe is comparatively small. You’re not going to the end of the world, and your parents are max. a 5 hour flight away (depending on where you’re from). If absolutely everything fails and you want to go home for the weekend, you can. It doesn’t mean you should or that you’ll even want to, but I think it’s good to remember that if everything feels overwhelming. 

Second: Living alone is scary, but you won’t be alone! If you’re staying in dorms (which you might not in France), there’ll be other people, and otherwise you’ll probably live together with roommates who are in the same boat as you. You’ll learn together! If you want to prepare for the challenge (your roommates will love you), learn how to cook and clean beforehand (what supplies you need, some basic recipes etc). It’s what I’m doing too, and I already feel much more independent. I bought Martha Stewart’s Housekeeping Handbook (it’s a huge thing and everything you could possibly need to know is in it) and I’ll also bring that with me to the UK for emergencies. 

For the abroad part: Living alone is scary on its own, but you’ll also be in an unfamiliar environment which can make it even more of a challenge. But again: You’re not doing a complete 180 in cultural environment, because we’re in Europe and we more or less get along and agree on most cultural norms. Shopping, Netflix, amazon, restaurants etc etc are basically the same everywhere, just in French (which you probs already know really well). Apart from trying to not get run over in the UK’s weird left-side traffic and working out how self-service checkouts function, I don’t expect many big differences in the day-to-day life (based on the weeks I spent in Edinburgh plus several stays in London). Try to continue the hobbies you had at home so you won’t feel like you abandoned everything! 

Also, a tip from over-organiser yours truly: Plan as much as you can beforehand. Insurances, flights, bank cards are a given, but also think about getting a public transport card, a railcard, adapters if needed, a list of things you immediately need to buy there and a list of things you pack or send yourself via mail, a map of France where you can mark all the things you want to visit, a map of your campus/district where you mark a supermarket, pharmacy, bus stop, underground stop, hospital, doctors, library, police, the way to class, the nearest shopping centre, and other things you need to know. You can also look up if there are specialty shops in your area that sell stuff from your home country, or if there are restaurants serving food from there! That way, you won’t go to completely unknown territory and it will seem less scary! :) 

I hope this helped! I wish you an amazing time in France <3

i find the lit up diner after breaking down. 

the car weeps after it’s left bare & cold,

the door is kissed with receding ghosts of rain, 

the waiter can’t look me in the eye,

the tunes twinkling from the walls leak melancholy,

& the food seems delicious (but made for one solitary soul,

so tastes very lonely).
i hear the ringing of service behind the counter,

feel the movement  of wandering vehicles on the other side of the glass,

order 2 sugars & receive 6
because they know 
it’s been a while
since i’ve experienced anything 
sweet
or joyous
or wonderful to cherish. 

the strong fragrance  of the person seated behind me

causes my eyes to feel fire & seep waterfalls. 

i search the neighbouring cigarette shop for cancer french made

but i settle for genuinely manufactured american marlboros. 

i hear the paris moon & sing smoke at dusk.  

i call triple a & they converse with me about buddha

whilst they tend to my white machine.

my car sighs with pleasure 
after they massage her into good health

& they head off with waved farewells

after she lies satisfied & feeling bliss underneath the sky’s shine.

i have 3 coffees with two sugars in each & i thank god for retail refills.

i spend 8 hours on each cup
& find myself in the next date on the calendar.

after that, i wash up in the lav
& after cleansing my soul in the recesses of the aging sink,
i slump back into my seat,
my hands finding the complimentary knife
 laying with the spoon & fork,
so i set to cutting myself underneath the table
as the employees make their daily rounds.

i see the blood yet feel no pain.
i taste the sin but feel no remorse.

i stay until the sky reaches another continent; 

until my self-inflicted wounds become scars.

the aged diner music is fading into dark 

& at the moment, i feel very distanced from emotion.

Review: Luma Restaurant, Bell TIFF 2nd Fl., 350 King St. W., Toronto.

On the 2nd floor of the Bell Tiff cinema complex on King St is Luma, a somewhat upscale yet casual place to eat. Going to films at the TIFF I was unaware of Luma’s existence as it is tucked away down a passageway and one could go to films without ever seeing it. The canteen on the main floor is hard to miss, as is the Luma bar on the 2nd floor, but the restaurant itself is out of sight.

I say somewhat upscale as the food is good but fairly simple. Duck wraps as a starter, steak frites as a main, and a Luma chocolate brownie for dessert speak more of comfort food than gourmet adventures, though Luma did an excellent steak, and claims to have one of the best liver main courses in the city.

The duck wraps were not as good as those I usually order at Origin North - Luma’s version had a bit too much chili, and using lettuce instead of a soft taco-type shell made them more difficult to eat. The Origin North version was also more generous with the duck.

Luma’s lettuce duck wraps.

So I was not overly impressed with the duck wraps, however Luma did win me over with their steak frites - a very generous steak cooked to perfection and of high quality. The frites too were good. I ordered the root vegetable side dish which was tasty as well and not overcooked. One of the few vegetable sides at any casual restaurant I’ve been too that actually was cooked perfectly and came in its own little cooking pot which was rather quaint and pleasing.

The dessert menu was limited, which is the norm for Toronto restaurants, though sometimes I am pleasantly surprised. I opted for the house specialty called the Luma Chocolate Bar.

The Luma Chocolate Bar

This dessert combined peanut butter ice cream with dark chocolate and a dark chocolate brownie. If you are a chocolate fan, this dessert does not disappoint - the textures were good and the chocolate sinfully rich. Even the peanut butter ice cream was good.

My brother comes here often and wanted to introduce me to it, and it was kind of him to do so. Where Luma really would shine is as a place to get a meal when seeing a film at the TIFF cinema, especially if one was meeting up with friends. Dinner followed by a movie. It is the best in-cinema restaurant I have encountered anywhere, that is for sure.