Story Summary: Dating Jensen Ackles had never been part of your plan. Neither had falling in love with him, but you weren’t sure he felt the same.
A/N: This is for #Angst Appreciation Day 2017
Warnings: Angst, heartbreak.
Getting tangled up in a relationship with an actor had never
been your plan. Moving to Vancouver, away from the stress of your family,
finding a new life up there. That had been a part of your plan, and then Jensen
had come waltzing in your work one day, giving you one of his heart shattering
grins, and the rest had been history.
The two of you had fallen hot and heavy into a relationship.
Nights spent at his apartment, sweaty and tangled in his bed sheets became your
norm. He was the perfect lover, attentive while rocking your world. Quickly you
had found yourself falling in love with him. It didn’t matter that he was an
actor, that he had millions of girls swooning at his feet. You knew the real
Jensen, the man behind Dean Winchester.
So Michel Foucault, arguably the best thinker and philosopher of the 20th century and original gangster of critical theory, had a set of morals all of his own that we should all consider paying mind to.
Foucault lived and achieved success through a moral code of only three steps.
1. The refusal to accept as self evident the things that are proposed to us.
Don't accept anything as fact. Everything can and should be questioned.
Why should we believe that which is presented to us as fact, for most societal recommendations or instructions are norms, not rules.
A perfect example of this is gender norms. “you’re a boy so you can’t/shouldnt wear a skirt” (but like why?, thats not a rule, thats not a fact, thats nonsense.)
2. The need to analyze and to know, since we can accomplish nothing without reflection and understanding thus, the principle of curiosity.
research, understanding and falling on your own conclusions. most of what we know and believe has been told to us not achieved through self discovery or experience.
most of the time when we believe we’re thinking were actually listening and repeating. So what have you not heard before and why?
3. The principle of innovation, to seek out in our reflections those things that have never been thought or imagined.
Again, figure out what have you not heard, been taught, or seen, and why you haven’t heard, been taught, or seen this.
what is it? and why can it or can it not come to be?
get a new perspective.
Refusal~ Curiosity~ Innovation
and remember. “The enlightenment that inspired the liberties also invented the disciplines” M.F. (the OG)
I've been experimenting with various techniques also I spent longer on this one than on the others, but mostly I think the reason for the improvement is because I'm catching up on my ability to use the digital tools; don't forget that I have years and years of traditional art behind me. It's not magic :P
Yes, but I think I like it better than your traditional stuff? I did remember the ones I’ve seen yes : P
But what if it was magic? I’m gonna say that’d maybe make it twice as cool? You being a wizard sounds pretty much like the best possible thing, really
Forgot to mention here, but between yesterday and today I finally watched The Babadook ;w;
In usual conditions I’d make a really long wall of text explaining everything this movie has that makes it amazing, but sadly I’ve been lazy lately, so I’m just going to say this movie is literal perfection and I’m deeply sad that such an amazing movie became a meme with no relation to the movie itself.
I try to be enough. To be acceptable as a human being. Longer eyelashes, skinnier waist, perfect boyfriend, wider smile, no tears. But I am never enough. And it breaks every part of me when I realize that I’m still so far from these requirements. I realize that no one is perfect but somehow I still try my best to be.
No I’m not hungry. I’m okay. No im not worried. I love myself. No those names don’t hurt me. This smile isn’t fake. I love him. Not sad just a little tired. Seriously, I’m not hungry.
Lies. Things I tell myself to try and fit this perfect norm.
There are billions of other girls and boys out there who feel the same. I know I’m not alone. But somehow I still feel completely and utterly lonely.
If society didn’t push these requirements onto us then maybe we wouldn’t need to save so many young teens from themselves.
The MBTI part of tumblr (especially this blog) makes me realize that at the end of the day, we’re just different individuals that might share the same characteristics. MBTI is just a way to improve ourselves to become almost perfect human beings (by perfect, I meant, the social norms perfect) and although it’s interesting, everything should be taken with a grain of salt.
Also, one last parting ramble before my ridiculous text wall bomb about the series:
People have been complaining about stereotypes and having seen these characters before.
The thing is, what makes them break pretty decisively from the stereotypical mold is the fact they don’t serve the narrative function you’ve been conditioned to expect.
Kala’s faith and religion does not make her naive. It doesn’t make her stupid or “too pure to get her hands dirty.” Her struggle between personal desires and what she perceives as societal impositions and the desires of her family are an actual struggle, because no one’s actually, violently forcing her to do it. She doesn’t love her fiance, not because there’s anything wrong with him - he’s not a monstrous, selfish, threatening creature wanting to own her or claiming her outright - her struggle is because she feels there’s something wrong with her, because rationally she should love him - could possibly grow to love him - but she doesn’t, right now. She doesn’t need to have her naivete removed or be forced to confront “the real world”. Kala is a scientist. Kala knows how the world works. Kala just needs to figure out how to understand Kala.
Wolfgang isn’t just an expy of Matt Damon’s character in Ocean’s Eleven. Wolfgang is a deconstruction of that entire character archetype and pushing the quirky, lovable bits of “spice” about him into their most disastrous, painful consequences. Wolfgang isn’t a lovable rogue that’s technically a criminal because he’s a thief but doesn’t actually do anything truly heinous like murder someone because he has a strict honor code against it. Wolfgang isn’t there to be the nominally bad but generally safe guy for a girl to crush on and use the power of love to redeem and remake into something better. Wolfgang owns up his fuckery and makes no secret of it. No excuses. No “redemption”, because what he does is unforgivable but it needed to be done, and he’s not asking for forgiveness. He’s stating a goddamn point.
Riley is not a manic magic pixie girl, or a too sensitive soul whose sole existence is to give angst to the hero. Riley has her own character arc and her own growth and issues to work through and she is ultimately given total agency and choice about her destiny. Her suffering and her “angst” aren’t there to feed into anyone else’s or to give depth to her love story. They’re there because it’s her reality and her entire character arc is trying to deal with them - while also dealing with the dangers of being a sensate. Her suffering is not weakness. Her fucking PTSD is not weakness.
Will is not the hero. He wants to be, as part of his personality and personal ethos, but he’s not. Because Will’s idealism is constantly crushed by the reality he lives in. He doesn’t live in a quaint, small American town where everyone knows everyone and the important thing is to protect the community and keep it whole. He lives in Chicago, one of the most complicated cities in the US, as far as racial tension goes. His impetus to do good and “protect and serve” is not applauded here. It’s mocked, derided and constantly criticized for being outside reality. He approaches his job as a cop as the child of a cop, still idolizing what his father does. Except he’s not a child anymore. He should know better, how the system works and how to work with the system to get what he needs, instead of making loud statements and declaring himself against it because it’s not morally pure enough for him. This is alluded to in-story. Will is not the traditional big, wholesome white dude whose heart is so big he is able to fix everything and take command of every situation. Will is good at what he does and completely lost about what he’s not. Will asks for help and offers it just as freely. Will has his own demons and his own quests but he never puts anyone else at risk for the sake of those. He never prioritizes his story above anyone else’s. Will is scared. Will is nervous. Will fucks up. Will isn’t infallible.
Will cares too much, like any wholesome big, white dude with a giant sticker reading GOOD GUY stuck on his forehead would, but he learns pretty quickly that his reaction to things not going his way can’t be a tantrum or a speech. And that there are consequences about caring too much. Another thing that defies the stereotype is that Will’s “I refuse to give up” mentality tends to be exorcised pretty quickly by a harrowing lesson of “Life has Consequences” and “Acceptable losses”. Will doesn’t have a tolerance for acceptable losses. It was pretty well set up in the beginning of his quest to save that kid. If he did that for a stranger, what else could he have done, for a member of his cluster?
Capheus is a precious adorable moron, but he’s not oblivious to the circumstances or the consequences of his actions. Capheus is a matatu driver. Capheus has lived his entire life in the center of the violence and the brutality of his corner of the world. And yes, his mom has AIDS. But he’s not a cartoon of a good son about to learn or deliver a moral lesson about right or wrong. He’s not a mountain of incorruptible purity that will inevitably be lost by the second arc. He’s not a sad poster child for his reality. He’s cunning and resourceful and laid back because he wants to emulate his hero. And his hero isn’t some paragon of unquestionable justice, or morals even. His hero is an action hero - violent and thorough and over kill and yet honorable and self-possessed. Because Capheus isn’t scared of violence itself, Capheus doesn’t see violence as inherently damning from the very beginning of his character arc. Capheus sees violence as a tool, nothing more. He’s not a foil of innocent lost to the hero, one, because there’s no hero, and two, because he’s not innocent. He just wants to be happy and optimistic and there’s absolutely nothing disconnected from reality or anything childish about that.
Sun is not a dragon lady. Sun is not here to deliver magical wisdom from the East. Sun is a fighter. A survivor. She fights dirty, mercilessly. She doesn’t serve willingly or meekly. She’s not demure silence and obedient ruthlessness. Sun is angry and furious and overwhelmed with emotions she can’t act out on like she’d want to, so she sublimates all that rage and grief and everything into her fists. She’s no one’s “spiritual mentor down a trip of self-discovery”. She doesn’t have all the answers. Shes’ not servile. She’s not there to seduce anyone, most specially not the hero. She has her own issues and her own worries and her own choices to make and they’re never subjugated, narratively, to a “hero’s journey” or something like that.
Lito’s struggle with homophobia is not about the world actively hating on him like on a PSA for tolerance. It’s about the internalized shit. About fucked up gender roles and expectations and trying to handle his own fears about not fitting the bill. It’s about homophobia at its most insidious, seemingly harmless ways: the pure assumption that straight is the norm. He’s not a perfect, unchanging angel just because he’s gay. His changes throughout the story are not treated as a bad thing or as a betrayal of who he is. He’s not there to offer sassy commentary on people’s clothes or any other stereotypical gay sidekick gag. He’s a main character and his contributions to the group and the plot are valuable on their own. And while he has issues to deal with, in order to be healthy, dealing with those issues isn’t the point of the show’s story arc. His talents are not dependent on his sexuality, but his talents are powerful and useful and respected, both inside and outside the cluster.
Nomi is trans and engaged in the community to better it on the long run. Her arc is closely tied to her transness but it never brings into question her womanhood or her identity, per se. Her arc is not about being a noble martyr for the greater cause or a personal motivational poster or representation of every trans person ever. She’s Nomi. She’s trans. These two facts are tightly bound together and cannot be denied. She’s not a teachable moment, for anyone, and anyone who tries to turn her into one gets shut down so hard you can hear the mood whiplash cracking in the background.
In short, for characters to be truly stereotypes they need to not only fit into the traditional classifications, but work within the scope of the stereotype, in a narrative plane. These characters adamantly do not. They challenge their status as stereotypes by becoming their own people and having their own tastes and preferences that either challenge or oppose the challenge as it is.
The point is, you might have seen character molds similar to these before, but they were always secondary to the Hero - always White and Righteous, in the center of everything - and sacrificed any potential growth or roundness for the sake of leaving room for the Hero’s own arc to be explored. Here we have no Hero, in capitals. And the stereotypes are all the main characters, all with wide room to grow in. They’re not static. They’re not cartoonish. They’re people and they learn and fail and grow and become something completely different, from the stereotype you’d expect from them.
Hey Niu! what are the downsides to living in Japan you talk about? (＾ω＾)
Oh man, there are so many of them it will take forever if I list them all, but here are some:
- Women are below men -> Foreigners are below Japanese -> Foreigner women are the lowest combination in the society - No matter how long you’d live there, you will always be a foreigner. You will never be taken into the culture or the country as one of its inhabitants. Also your children will be treated as foreigners, even if they had another parent from Japan. - No thinking for yourself; you have a certain path from birth to death you are supposed to follow. If you divert from the path, you are rebellious and cause trouble to the society. Your purpose is to serve the society without questioning it and cause no harm to it (you can see this in for example how families abandon their unemployed family members even to their death, because unemployed person isn’t contributing to the society and this disgraces both themselves and their family). - Anything that doesn’t fit into the societal norm of perfect, fitting and functioning, will be hid. This includes handicapped people, disabled people, transgenders, sexual minorities and elderly people who can’t take care of themselves anymore. (Also only the perfect vegetables, berries and fruits are suitable for grocery stores) - Always put others first, even if it harms you, otherwise you are a selfish anarchist. Lying is a perfect form of social activity, because anything you can do to not trouble someone or shame them - or you - is considered polite. Whenever I have Japanese guests over - except for one friend - I need to think very carefully what I feed them or suggest them as an activity, as they WILL say YES and I LIKE THIS even when they would mean NO and HORRIBLE PLEASE NOT THIS - and then eat everything they hate and go with the activity they don’t want to do, because the polite lying. Close friends and family members are different, with them you don’t have to tell polite lies. - Individuality doesn’t exist, everything is seen as a big mass. It’s hard to go against the societal pressure, though for foreigner it would be easier - you, as a foreigner, will not be expected much of anything, because “you can never understand the culture or get into it as Japanese”. - Alcoholism and domestic violence run free (same as in Finland) - Mental health problems because of a) you can’t be you, just play your role b) expectations for success are high c) no time to rest. Suicide rates are very high (they are also high in Finland) - The country is actually quite racist. My friend’s friend is married to a Japanese man and they had horrible time trying to find a rent apartment in Tokyo - the place with the most of foreigners - because “Can’t trust you, your wife is a foreigner” (she had nothing to do with the rent contract and she’s also working). She’s gotten harassed and even kicked multiple times just for sticking out from the mass and being different than Japanese. - No long holidays, average Japanese has 7 days holiday in a year, plus a few days during December-January. - No extra earnings by working overtime, at night time, at evening, on weekend or on holidays (in Finland you get extra salary for these) - It’s difficult to get a job nowadays, the economic depression has hit Japan, too. This is especially difficult for men who need a job to get a wife but if they are single, they can’t get a job without a wife (because company wants to make sure you are dedicated to it and as men still bring the money to the household - and women control the money - being single is a sign you will not stay loyal to the company) - Expensive!