norm gunderson

  • Norm: They announced it.
  • Marge: They announced it?
  • Norm: Yeah.
  • Marge: So?
  • Norm: Three-cent stamp.
  • Marge: Your mallard?
  • Norm: Yeah.
  • Marge: Oh, that's terrific.
  • Norm: It's just a three-cent stamp.
  • Marge: It's terrific.
  • Norm: Hautman's blue-winged teal got the twenty-nine cent. People don't much use the three-cent.
  • Marge: Oh, for Pete's sake, of course they do. Whenever they raise the postage, people need the little stamps.
  • Norm: Yah?
  • Marge: When they're stuck with a bunch of the old ones.
  • Norm: Yah, I guess.
  • Marge: That's terrific...I'm so proud of ya, Norm. Heck, Norm, you know we're doin' pretty good.
  • Norm: I love you, Margie.
  • Marge: I love you, Norm.
  • Norm: Two more months.
  • Marge: Two more months.

I don’t understand people who become jealous, unhappy messes on Valentine’s Day for one simple reason: no love currently exists and it’s illogical to be jealous of something that doesn’t exist. Sure, a lot of people think they’re in love, but it’s just not the case. After all, my own parents have been married for 35 years and continue laughing together at DVRed episodes of Frasier, but that’s not love - that’s good writing. In the history of the universe, there has been only one instance of true love and that love was found between Marge and Norm Gunderson in Fargo.

“Bullshit,” you’re saying right now, “I’m in love.” Sorry lunatic friend, but you most certainly are not! Do you remember that scene in Fargo when Norm makes Marge breakfast even when she has to go to work early? What about the scene when Marge congratulates Norm on his two-cent duck stamp? I wish you the best of luck trying to fake that kind of passion tonight, but we all know your Valentine’s Day plans don’t hold a candle to Marge and Norm just layin’ in bed talkin’ about this ‘n’ that.

Theirs was the first love, theirs was the only love, and they’re not even real people - so how stupid would it be to feel jealous of the perfect love between two fictional characters? Don’t be unhappy. Just watch Fargo.