Self Made Man: Norah Vincent chooses Female Privilege over Male Privilege

Lesbian Feminist Norah Vincent lives as a man for 18 months, goes nuts and is happy to get back to life as a woman.

Reporter: Do you think women understand what it’s like to be a man?

Norah: No. Not at all. No clue. No idea.

Norah: I’m so much closer to myself than I ever was, that I really like me, I really like being me, I really like being a woman.

Reporter: Did you like being a woman before Ned?

Norah: I did, but I like it more now because I think it’s more of a privilege.

"Because I think it’s more of a privilege"


Norah after publicly assuming the identity of a man for 18 months, admits that socially females possess a privilege or men.  I qualify this statement as socially and publicly assumed because those were the obvious limits of her experiment.  She didn’t work in an office environment nor did she take her male disguise with her into her private spaces.  

Females have clue what it’s like being a man, their assumptions of us are at best without context.

if you need to feel something - playlist

draw your swords - angus and julia stone
dust to dust - the civil wars
high horses - the swell season
holocene - bon iver
landfill - daughter
little lion man - mumford and sons
poison and wine - the civil wars
all the wild horses - ray lamontagne
dreams - fleetwood mac
words - gregory alan isakov
follow you down to the red oak tree - james vincent mcmorrow
slow it down - the lumineers
down in the valley - the head and the heart
colors - amos lee and norah jones
anymore - ethan thompson


Self-made Man

Author Norah Vincent lives 18 months as a man to study gender, checks herself into three mental institutions after the crushing depression that follows.

"At its core, it’s a bodily function. It’s a necessity. It’s such a powerful drive and I think because we [women] don’t have testosterone in our systems, we don’t understand how hard it is," she said.

not only is she sexist she’s also factually incorrect. and cissexist. bye


"Gender lives in your brain, it’s something much more than costume". 

If you have 20mins to spare today, this will be worth it. Share it with everyone you know who will benefit, women and men alike.


Woman lives as a man for 2 years as an experiment

A Self Made Man on 20/20 (The undercover journey of a gay woman as a man)

     Unfortunately I’m not able to embed these videos here.  I’ve linked to an article about this woman in the past.  These videos are from the episode of 20/20 that featured her story.

     Norah Vincent went undercover as a man for 18 months, dating, hanging out, going to a men’s retreat and even going to a monastery.  The experience radically changed her views on men.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

They wanted a man to be confident. They wanted in many ways to defer to him. I could feel that on many dates, the unspoken desire to be held up and led, whether in conversation or even in physical space, and at times it made me feel quite small in my costume, like a young man must feel when he’s just coming of age, and he’s suddenly expected to carry the world under his arm like a football. And some women did find Ned too small physically to be attractive. They wanted someone, they said, who could pin them to the bed or, as one woman put it, “someone who can drive the bus.” Ned was too willowy for that, and came up wanting.


Yet as much as these women wanted a take-control man, at the same time, they wanted a man who was vulnerable to them, a man who would show his colors and open his doors, someone expressive, intuitive, attuned. This I was in spades, and I always got points for it, but feeling the pressure to be that other world-bestriding colossus at the same time made me feel very sympathetic toward heterosexual men, not only because living up to Caesar is an immensely heavy burden to bear, but because trying to be a sensitive new age guy at the same time is pretty well impossible. If women are trapped by the whore/Madonna complex, men are equally trapped by this warrior/minstrel complex. What’s more, while a man is expected to be modern, that is, to support feminism in all its particulars, to see and treat women as equals in every respect, he is on the other hand often still expected to be traditional at the same time, to treat a lady like a lady, to lead the way and pick up he check.

Expectation, expectation, expectation. That was the leitmotif of Ned’s dating life, taking on the desirable manly persona or shrugging off its dreaded antithesis. Finding the right balance was maddening, and operating under the constant weight of so much political guilt was simply exhausting. Though, in the parlance of liberal politics, I had operated in my real life under the burden of being a doubly oppressed minority – a woman and a lesbian – and I had encountered the deprivations of that status, as a man, I operated under what I felt in these times to be the equally heavy burden of being a double majority, a white man.

Women and men communicate differently, often on entirely different planes. But just as men have failed us, we have failed them. It has been one of our great collective female shortcomings to presume that whatever we do not perceive simply isn’t there, or that whatever is not communicated in our language is not intelligible speech.”

“If women are trapped by the whore/Madonna complex, men are equally trapped by the warrior/minstrel complex. What’s more, while a man is expected to be modern, that is, to support feminism in all its particulars, to see and treat women as equals in every respect, he is on the other hand often still expected to be traditional at the same time, to treat a lady like a lady, to lead the way and pick up the check.
—  Norah Vincent in Self-Made Man

Anonymous asked you:

"i’m just kind of sick of this mental illness hierachy where well-off rich white ppl with (usually not life-long debilitating) depression & anxiety use their personal experiences to speak for all of us" same. i don’t want to say that people who "only" suffer from depression or anxiety have it good or anything, but sometimes when i read what some of them say about us with other kind of mental illnesses it really pisses me off.

yeahhhh i mean in ways this is a mixture of different issues, like, one is that there are mental illnesses that are sort of unquestionably more stigmatized than others.  and unfortunately that stigma is often also perpetrated by other mentally ill people with less stigmatized disorders, like norah vincent in her book.  there’s just something profoundly annoying about people who were depressed for a little bit and then decided that they’re the Expert on mental illness, especially the Expert on those crazy people that they’re quick to assure you they’re not.    the other issue is that there’s a huge range of experiences with mental illness in general, and especially with depression and anxiety because they’re less likely to be as debilitating and chronic as something like psychosis.  because of that, there’s a huge extra leap in stigma and the treatment people with chronic and severe depression and/or anxiety experience compared to say, the people who experience low-level anxiety or a few depressive episodes that last maybe 6 months each time.  not to say that these people don’t deserve treatment and respect - they do! especially since without it it may morph into something more chronic or severe! but all the same their experiences aren’t going to be the same as someone for whom depression is a lifelong chronic illness.
like this is why i kind of resent all those 1/4 campaigns trying to normalize mental illness bc these campaigns always seem to predicate on how these ppl are just like everyone else and there’s not much talk of dysfunction and being disabled or how even people who’ll have mental illness so debilitating that they’ll never be able to work deserve normality and respect.
'I remember when I was in the army,' he'd say, 'and I was drunk off my ass as usual. And there was this huge guy playin' pool in the bar I was in. And I don't know why, but I just flicked a beer coaster at him, and it hit him right in the back of the head. And he turned around really slowly and he looked down at me and he said in this really tired way, 'Do we really need to do this tonight?' And I said, 'Nah, you're right. We don't. Sorry.' So he turned around, and fuck me if I didn't just throw another one and hit him again, right in the back of the head. I don't know why I did it. No fuckin' idea. And I knew when I did it that he was gonna kick my ass, so I turned around and tried to run, and I slipped in a puddle of beer and fell on my face, and he just picked me right up and bashed the shit out of me. And the funniest thing about it was that the whole time he was punching me, he kept apologising to me for having to do it.'
—  Norah Vincent (from The Guardian)

anonymous asked:

Just gotta say if anyone gets the option to, read "Self-Made Man" by Norah Vincent. I bought it and it's pretty different. A woman's view on what it's like to be a man having experienced it first hand. Norah Vincent is the only woman that isn't trans that I would let tell me how it is to be a man.

How can a woman experience being a man firsthand if she isn’t a trans woman? 

But yeah, it sounds different, definitely. If I get the opportunity I will certainly give it a read!


anonymous asked:

It had nothing to do with gender dysphoria ahahha it was how she was treated as a man, what the fuck haha she even says that she feels sorry for men, what the fuck how did you pull that autistic shot out of it

(This is probably in response to this post.)

I’m guessing you meant, “autistic shit,” which makes this message make slightly more sense, though not much. I guess you’re using autistic as an insult, thereby implying I’m…bad at reading social situations?

Also, I agree that part of her point was that sexism etc. hurts men. Sorry if I glossed over that; I forget that there are people who don’t acknowledge that sometimes, so I will forget to mention it explicitly in contexts where I should.

I admit that I am not a mental health professional in any capacity, but I believe that there are men who do not experience depression due to being treated as men. So I’m guessing that there is something that Norah experienced that was not just being treated as a man, but was also being treated as a man while being a woman.

I’m calling this additional bad feeling gender dysphoria, because dysphoria is basically a word that means, “a generalized bad feeling,” and gender dysphoria is the standard term for bad feelings caused by being gendered incorrectly—by oneself, by others, etc.

I hope that explains how I came to the conclusion that she was experiencing gender dysphoria, feel free to message me again if anything I said was unclear!