nor do i know how to fix it

John, the cheesecake baker

A little context: After having tracked down our campaign’s villain we discovered he was hiding inside of an abandoned dwarven fortress wich he was renovating and fortifying with the aid of all the local bandits (who he had unified to pursue his goal) We ended up laying a little siege to the fortress, and after loosing almost all of our friendly NPCs (30 rangers) we finaly made it inside. After goung through some rooms…

DM: On the right side of the hallway you see a closed wooden door.

Igan (Paladin): I kick it open (Rolls Strength and gets a high enough roll to break the door into pieces.

DM: You see three men. Two of them are talking in one corner and the other is sitting in a table on the oposite one, cutting some cheese. They quickly turn their heads.

Igan: *Charges against the cheese-cutting one, rolls a nat 1*

DM: You get right next to the guy but in your impetus, you hit the wall instead of him.

Gnome Cleric (Me, OOC): Don’t worry Igan, I’ll save you! I run to the cheese guy and attack with my dagger.

*I got a nat 20*

DM: You rush to the guy, pull his head and thrust your dagger into his throat, he tries to say something but he drowns in his own blood. The other two guys scream terrified and cover themselves, shaking in fear.

One of the guys: No! You killed John! How could you?!

Me (OOC): Wait. They don’t attack?

DM: Nope, they don’t have any weapons, nor armor of any kind.

Me: But you said they were three guards.

DM: I said three GUYS! I never mentioned them looking like fighters.

*Turns out those three were just carpenters hired by the villain to fix the fortess’ doors, they had nothing to do with him or the bandits and didn’t even know what was going on with the villain’s plan. Actually, the one I so gorely killed was an incredibly nice guy, loved by everyone, who had two daughters and whose wife had recently died. Also, he baked the tastiest cheesecakes, which everyone loved, including the villain… I felt like a monster*

We don’t believe what’s on TV - Chapter 20

<<Chapter 19 / Chapter 21 / Chapter 22 / Chapter 23 / Chapter 24 / Chapter 25 /  Chapter 26 /  Chapter 27/ Chapter 28/ Chapter 29

Resume: I had an ordinary life, or that’s what I wanted to believe. I lost myself in the TV series that I listened to forget the normal boring life. What I didn’t know, however, was that my life would change completely overnight.

Finding myself in 2013 at Beacon Hills County.

This will be a Stiles x Reader but only further in the story

In this chapter: The bus ride is long. Too long. Something’s missing.

Word count: 2959

A/N: AHHHHHH I’m late but here ya go!!! Thanks to @maddie110201 who helped me proofread this! I hope everyone like it! (none of the gifs are mine)

Tell me what you think about it!


“Derek is alive. ”

“What? What do you mean, I saw him, he fell and … ”

“You heard me, Scott. I won’t repeat it in case a certain rabid alpha listens,” I added, glancing behind me at the front of the bus. Stiles was sitting near Scott in the last row of bench and I sat right in front of them, turned towards them. Ethan, who was sitting at the front, didn’t turn his head towards us. I hoped disclosing the information to Scott wouldn’t make things worse, but to see him still hurt from the fight against the alpha pack was worrying me too much.

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One More Light

A/N: This is a totally random drabble I wrote a few months ago while I was feeling sad and listening to way too much Linkin Park. 


warnings: angst, smut, suicide tw


Originally posted by finnfreezedemon

Finn groaned and woke up, the darkness of the room and doziness causing him to be momentarily dazed. For a fraction of a second, the warm body heat next to him was the only thing he was aware of. In that minuscule slice of time his mind was stuck somewhere. He sighed heavily when the fully awake realization of the nature their relationship was brought back to his mind. He groaned the scent of her, in the space between their bodies. She sighed and shifted her weight, her ass pushing against his crotch.

Finn lay there still for a moment, listening to her breathe. The bitter idea that she may be moving away soon and that he could possibly end up devoid of her warmth chewed at him. She grunted and rolled over on her back, letting out a dreamy sigh. Finn sat up and rubbed his face, reaching over to the table lamp and switching it on. He looked over to her, her tank top had rose up exposing one of her breasts, and she hadn’t removed her makeup before going to bed. Her mascara had smudged on her eyelids and her red lipstick had stained the pillow and smeared across her full lips. 

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BREAKING: Sen. McCain says "cannot in good conscience vote for" Graham-Cassidy health bill, putting latest GOP effort in further jeopardy.

FULL STATEMENT: “As I have repeatedly stressed, health care reform legislation ought to be the product of regular order in the Senate. Committees of jurisdiction should mark up legislation with input from all committee members, and send their bill to the floor for debate and amendment. That is the only way we might achieve bipartisan consensus on lasting reform, without which a policy that affects one-fifth of our economy and every single American family will be subject to reversal with every change of administration and congressional majority.

“I would consider supporting legislation similar to that offered by my friends Senators Graham and Cassidy were it the product of extensive hearings, debate and amendment. But that has not been the case. Instead, the specter of September 30th budget reconciliation deadline has hung over this entire process.

“We should not be content to pass health care legislation on a party-line basis, as Democrats did when they rammed Obamacare through Congress in 2009. If we do so, our success could be as short-lived as theirs when the political winds shift, as they regularly do. The issue is too important, and too many lives are at risk, for us to leave the American people guessing from one election to the next whether and how they will acquire health insurance. A bill of this impact requires a bipartisan approach.

“Senators Alexander and Murray have been negotiating in good faith to fix some of the problems with Obamacare. But I fear that the prospect of one last attempt at a strictly Republican bill has left the impression that their efforts cannot succeed. I hope they will resume their work should this last attempt at a partisan solution fail.

“I cannot in good conscience vote for the Graham-Cassidy proposal. I believe we could do better working together, Republicans and Democrats, and have not yet really tried. Nor could I support it without knowing how much it will cost, how it will effect insurance premiums, and how many people will be helped or hurt by it. Without a full CBO score, which won’t be available by the end of the month, we won’t have reliable answers to any of those questions.

“I take no pleasure in announcing my opposition. Far from it. The bill’s authors are my dear friends, and I think the world of them. I know they are acting consistently with their beliefs and sense of what is best for the country. So am I.

“I hope that in the months ahead, we can join with colleagues on both sides of the aisle to arrive at a compromise solution that is acceptable to most of us, and serves the interests of Americans as best we can.”

Fanfic - If the Speedster Won't Come to the Cakes - 1/1

Summary: Due to Flash duties Barry keeps missing cake tastings for their wedding which leaves Iris to think up a solution.

Rating: PG

Word Count: 1323

A/N: Day 1 of Westallen Wedding Week : Wedding Preparations 


“I’m sure he’ll be here any minute.”

Iris winced at the unimpressed look coming from the bakery clerk. Not that Iris could entirely blame the clearly annoyed clerk. A half an hour had passed since Barry should of arrived for their cake tasting for their wedding. Even she was starting to get frustrated despite knowing his delay was probably Flash related. The question always came down to how long would the delay be?

“Maybe you should call him again,” The Clerk said in a overly friendly voice too fake to be taken as genuine.

Iris knew that if her last four attempts to call Barry went straight to voice mail the fifth call probably wouldn’t make a difference.

Instead she called the next best thing.

“Escaped meta-human.” Cisco informed Iris when he picked up the phone. “Barry and Wally are trying to contain him right now.”

“And how long do you think that will be?” Iris asked while giving the clerk an apologetic smile.

“Honestly? I think its going to be a lonnng while,” Cisco said.

“Shoot,” Iris said under her breath realizing any hopes of Barry making a last minute appearance were gone.

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So Close (part 1 of 5)

Pairing: Lin-Manuel x Reader

Summary: This started as a 4+1 setup on Lin asking you to marry him. It devolved into a study of a year plus some in a relationship, and how you can be so close to the end and yet so far in the blink of an eye.

Word Count: 6580 (oh god I’m so sorry)

Warnings: Medical speak (nothing too graphic), badly translated Spanish, some swears.

Notes:  I am not a medical professional, nor do I speak Spanish, nor have I ever been on Broadway. I put a lot of research into this stuff to make it seem as realistic as possible, but if you can tell me how to fix a situation or change a translation to make it better, please let me know, I’m happy to listen.

I took a lot of inspiration from random things, but I want to point out some of my sources, because they are important.

  • Favorite Human comes from “When You Come Home” by @teamgtnw Take the time to go read that, please, for me.
  • The Hamiltome gave me most of the original cast/crew names and timelines for when things happened (transfer to Broadway, opening night, etc.) I also heavily relied on the timeline on the Hamilton Wiki page.
  • One of the recurring quotes throughout this work comes from Peter Pan. Kudos if you know it.
  • Spanish translations are courtesy of Reverso Contexto. Better than Google, but I’m sure, not infallible. Let me know if I’m way off the mark.
  • Title comes from the Jon McLaughlin song of the same name. It is the over arcing theme song for this fic. Link

This is the first thing I’ve written in at least 5 years, and it’s the first thing I’ve written for a Broadway fandom in 10+ years. Please be kind.

Tags: @musicalmoriarty (my beautiful Goddess, thank you for being my cheerleader!) //// If you want to be tagged, just ask ☺

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A Humorous Overview of the Weaknesses of Various Theories of Counseling

I am in an exceptionally salty mood for no real reason, so while studying for my Theories exam, I came up with these.

These vignettes in no way represent actual therapy with someone of the specified theoretical orientation.  I’m just being excessively mean and snarky, and you get to enjoy it.


Psychoanalytic therapy:

Client: I’m genderfluid.  I sometimes am male, and sometimes am female.

The therapist’s head literally explodes.


Existential therapy:

Therapist: Why are we so afraid of death?  Is it because we fear not fulfilling our life’s work?  CAN THERE TRULY BE ANY MEANING TO LIFE WHEN DEATH IS COMING FOR US ALL?

Client: You’re right. Life’s not worth living.  

Therapist: I didn’t mean that in the literal sense.  I meant it in the philosophical sense.  Because at heart, I’m a philosopher.  But you can’t find a job in philosophy for love nor money, so HERE I FUCKING AM.  And you get to sit and talk philosophy with me AND IT WILL FIX YOUR MENTAL ILLNESS.


Person-centered therapy:

Client: I need to figure out some skills so I stop doing the thing.  Can you teach me skills to not do the thing?

Therapist: It seems like it’s very important to you that this problem be solved.

Client: … are you going to fucking help me or not?

Therapist: It must be so frustrating.

Client: YES IT FUCKING IS BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW HOW TO GET BETTER

Therapist: How does that make you feel?


Gestalt therapy:

Therapist: Let’s try an experiment.  See this empty chair?  Pretend that’s your wife.  Say what you want to say, then switch chairs and reply as your wife.

Client:… ahem.  Jill, I think this idea is pretty fucking stupid.

Client moves chairs.

Client, as Jill: I agree, honey.  What the fuck is this shit even?

Client moves back to original chair.

Client, as self: Not helpful, that’s what it is.


Behavior therapy:

Therapist: Don’t do this thing.

Client: But how do I stop myself from thinking about it?

Therapist: No one cares. Just don’t do the thing.

Client: But–

Therapist plays extremely loud and unpleasant noise.

Client: Ow, what the fuck!

Therapist: Don’t do the thing or that will happen again.


Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Therapist: Here you go, it is now week 5 so do this assignment and turn it in next week.

Client: I thought this was therapy, not school?

Therapist: This has worked for literally everyone ever who has had your condition.  So shut up and do the work.

Client: But I am an individual—

Therapist, interrupting: NO INDIVIDUALS.  ONLY ROBOTS. EMPIRICALLY SUPPORTED TREATMENT.  ARE YOU BETTER YET?


Feminist Therapy

Therapist: …and thus concludes my 1,000 slide power point about how our shitty cultural norms and intersectional oppression causes literally every mental problem that exists ever.

Client with schizophrenia: Seriously?

Client with bipolar: Really?

Client with autism: Uh.

Therapist: FEMINISM WILL FIX YOU ALL!!  Group hug!!!


Family Systems

Therapist: Wait, where is your family?

Client, sobbing: They all died in a car crash last week!  I’m such a mess, doc, you gotta help me!

Therapist: Um. Well.  LOOK OVER THERE!!!

Therapist tries to climb out of the nearest window rather than face a client without any family relationships.

Title: Facing Snakes
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Summary: Betty doesn’t like the way Jughead is struggling in order to spare her from the wrongs of the south side, and she decides to find a solution for that in her own way. She visits the Serpents Bar, and she won’t leave that place until she can learn more about her boyfriend’s new reality.
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A/N: Okay… I really can’t wait to see Betty around the Serpents! Like, she might seem like this cute, fragile girl in their eyes, but I feel like as soon as they get to know her, they will all love to have her around! It’s probably a silly idea I have of the situation, but I would love to see this happening! Hope you enjoy it!

Also, adding a “Continue Reading” even if it's not long!
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Never, in a million years, would she have seen herself where she was.

With her impeccable, golden ponytail; clean, blue cardigan; jeans and white sneakers, Betty Cooper stood in front of the Serpents’ bar Archie had told her about. Outside, people were smoking and whispering, as well as fixing their bikes and getting ready to leave, starting those powerful engines that ripped all the silence of her thoughts. For she had come straight from school, her bag still hung over her shoulders, and there were some notebooks firmly pressed against her chest. She was feeling apprehensive at that very moment, as her presence around the South Side was still not entirely overwhelming, and as she could feel all those eyes set on her.

Confused eyes. Suspicious ones. It was probably the way she dressed or the way she just seemed too perfect to be around that place. Too perfect to be around the wrong side of the tracks, trying to blend in with her boyfriend’s new reality in order to help him feel lighter regarding the dual life he tried so hard to keep for her sake.

Betty appreciated his efforts, and she loved him even more for that. However, she couldn’t let him do all the hard work in that relationship. She had to help him. She had to show him how she was willing to relieve the pressure over his shoulders by simply embracing this new, ophidian part of his life.

She survived Riverdale High and her mother. A bikers’ bar would be nothing compared to those things.

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Bridge Back To Your Heart

Okay, so this is my post for Jake’s Appreciation Week, Day Seven: Fanart/Fanfic and I hope you will all enjoy it. I’m gonna tag the week’s hosts, @jakeymckenzie and @jakemcspooky, thank you for an awesome week.

Words: 4,792

Warnings: Mentions of sadness, depression, PTSD, death. Sex is implied but not mentioned anywhere.

Pairing: Jake x MC

Author’s Note: (This idea came to me before the final two chapters of ES Book 2 so sorry if it is a bit all over the place. Also I’m sorry for any grammar mistakes, English is not my first language.) This is based on a song called ‘’Bridge Back To Your Heart’’ by The Beach. This is an AU where you manage to save your friends and the world so you can return to a normal, mortal life. Jake had to kill Mike because he was too far gone. Ludgren and the Arachnids survive and return so Jake is still a fugitive. Rourke is dead. Aleister is forgiven by the group and takes control of his father’s company. Jake chose to leave MC because he was afraid of her getting hurt because of him. But after a year the group found evidence of his innocence and MC goes to Costa Rica to tell him.



It had been a year since they escaped La Huerta and returned home. The group still hanged out, going to Michelle’s favorite brunch spot every Friday, supporting Sean and Craig in their games, chilling and cooking at Raj’s place. Most of them had almost returned to their normal lives. But she hadn’t. It wasn’t only the PTSD from the island or the nightmares that still haunted her. It was his absence.

He decided to cut ties with her. When they got on the plane, she thought he was going to be there, beside her. Instead, he let her go without a word. When realization hit her, they were already a hundred feet off the ground. It had been a year since he left her and still she found herself all torn up on the inside because of him. She refused to speak about him, or join the group chats the others made with him from time to time, she wouldn’t even say his name.

It was a typical Friday and the eleven of them were heading to their now usual booth in the bistro. They usually happily chatted together while drinking their mimosas and waiting for their food to come. But that day was different. There wasn’t much talking, an awkward silence filling the air, glances of nervousness between one another and glances of anxiousness toward her. She started to get sick of it.

‘’Okay guys, what is it, why are you like that today?’’

‘’MC… we gotta talk for something… but we don’t know if you’ll be okay with it.’’ , Diego said, a worried expression on his face.

She looked carefully all her friends who tried to somehow avoid her gaze. She knew they wanted to talk about him.

‘’It is about… Jake. Isn’t it?’’

His name sounded weird coming from her lips. She hadn’t said it in so long. It was weird for the group too. Most of the times they avoided mentioning him when she was around. Diego cleared his voice and continued.

‘’Yes, yes it is. Look, MC… you know we still talk with him sometimes.’’

‘’Yes, I know. I don’t mind.’’

‘’That’s not the point… we don’t just talk with him… we’re trying to bring him home.’’

She was taken aback by his reply. Why didn’t she knew that? Why did they keep it a secret from her? Yes, Jake hurt her but she still cared about him, she still loved him and wanted him to be happy. Did they actually think she wouldn’t be happy about that? Did Jake knew? Did he knew and still didn’t try to contact her?

‘’He doesn’t know that, if that’s what you’re thinking.’’, Diego said to her, knowing she would think that.

‘’We didn’t know if we could actually find anything. It took us a lot of time. But we did. Aleister and I managed to find some top secret documents of the military. And they make good evidence.’’, Grace spoke in a soft voice, pulling out two folders from her bag.

‘’Also, I hacked the Arachnids and some military systems. Took me some months but I did it. I have every conversation the bastard made. Some payments. Accounts. Everything.’’ , Zahra said with a cocky smile, ‘’The bastard is going down finally.’’

‘’We will actually visit him in Costa Rica in a few days, as a surprise. He might appreciate it, we going there to tell him the news in person.’’ , Quinn interfered, with a nervous smile on her face

‘’Okay, okay guys, wait a sec… why do I learn about this now? What did you thought? That I would be pissed that you are trying to help him? And you’re all going to Costa Rica and you just announce it now?’’

‘’We didn’t want to get your hopes up. Neither your hopes, nor his. But now, with the proof we have and the support we can give, it is actually possible.’’ Aleister fixed his gaze on her.

‘’We also didn’t know how you would take it. You are feeling blue all these months and we were worried it would just make you feel worse.’’, Michelle answered her, a worried look on her face.

They were right. She would always get upset even in the slightest mention of him. How could they have told her about this before they were sure? She took a long breath and calmed down, trying to get her head around the idea of him being back to the States. She was happy for him. She really was. But it still hurt her. She didn’t want to speak about it more.

‘’Okay guys. I’m happy for that. I’m happy you have made progress. Is that all?’’, she said, trying to sound somewhat indifferent, even if she was dying to learn more about everything.

‘’Nope. We’re not done. Look MC, we all know you still care about him, okay? Don’t hide it from us. He does the same thing all the time but you two can’t even convince yourselves you don’t love each other anymore. He isn’t looking good either, he always sounds apathetic and he’s gloomy all the time. So do yourselves a favor and go find him earlier than us. Go and make things clear with him. It will be good for both of you.’’, Diego answered her, sounding a little exasperated.

She looked into Diego’s eyes, stunned. She knew he was right. She had to stop running away from this, from him.

‘’Okay… okay I will go.’’



The plane finally landed. The flight seemed to last forever. It was afternoon, the sun almost setting. She was growing impatient. The only thing she wanted at this point was to find him. Diego had said Jake wasn’t exactly in high spirits all this time as well. She wondered how he was. If he was healthy enough. She was worried about him. That was the reason she agreed to come earlier. She wanted to check out if her pilot was okay. She didn’t know what she would say to him when she saw him again. Would she scream at him for letting her go like that? Would she be able to resist kissing him right away? How would he react? Would he want to see her? He was the one who pushed her away after all.

She started wandering the streets of Costa Rica, her traveling bag in hand. She didn’t need a lot of things anyway, she wasn’t going to stay long. Jake had told her once when they were in La Huerta where his house was, next to that one beach, a small bungalow. She asked a bit here and there as well and managed to arrive at the beach he had told her about. She saw the small house and froze for a second. Was she ready for this? So many what ifs went through her mind as she slowly walked toward, her feet burying in the soft sand. Her stomach was tied in a knot, her hands were sweating. She was going to see him after a whole year. A whole year of not even saying his name, let alone see his face. She actually missed him even if she never told that to anyone, she was too stubborn to admit to anyone else she still cared for him. Her breath caught in her throat as she knocked on the door and heard a sharp “Coming”.

Ever since returning to Costa Rica, he just gave up. It was all too much. He had to kill Mike on that damned island. He had to kill his best friend because of what he had become. And so, when their adventure ended with his old commander still alive and going, he had to leave her. He was afraid to be with her. She would always be in danger next to him. She would never accept it of course. So he had to push her away. He preferred to be in pain than see her getting hurt. But his thoughts were killing him, his sadness was slowly taking him over. He didn’t want to do things anymore, even getting out of bed was hard. He actually spent most of his days in bed. Even drinking wasn’t making him feel better. He still talked with the group from time to time but it had been a year since he had heard her voice. He learned about her through Diego but it wasn’t enough. He knew she didn’t want to speak with him, he knew he had hurt her.

If there was one thing he never expected to see that day, it was her. He heard a knock on the door and thought it would be someone randomly asking for directions. It happened quite commonly there. He got out of the couch he was lying all day and walked to the door. He didn’t expect to open and see her, his princess, standing on his porch. He looked straight into her eyes, shocked. Words didn’t seem to fall from his mouth. What could he actually say to her after what he did? After letting her believe he would go back with her and fight and then leaving her alone without a word, breaking her heart? He thought she would hate him, would never want to see him again, and he wanted that because he wanted her to have a better life. Yet there she was, standing in front of him, beautiful as always. Her hair were longer now, falling around her back, her eyes as magnetizing as ever.

His light brown hair was still a bit higher from his shoulders but he was fresh shaved. He looked like he had lost some weight and most of his tan. More faired skin than she was used to. There were dark circles under his eyes. He looked like he didn’t get out of his house a lot, he looked unhealthy and she held back a sob. He looked depressed. It was killing her to see him like this. His blue orbs moved from confusion to relief to fear when their gaze met. She missed his beautiful stupid face even if he hurt her in ways she couldn’t imagine before him. The silence between them started to get awkward and she decided to break it. She managed a few words out.

‘’Hello Jake… how are you?’’

‘’MC… what… what are you doing here?’’

‘’Wow Top Gun, forgot your manners?’’

She slightly chuckled. Seeing her smile made him relax just a bit.

‘’I’m sorry, I… Come in.’’

She walked into his house. Much to her surprise, it was tidy. But of course it would be. Carryover from the Navy. She looked at the sea, out of the big glass window from his living room. She understood why he had chose to stay beside the beach.

‘’You have a nice view here. It seems calming’’

Jake rubbed the back of his neck as he was trying to think what to say to her. It was so hard for him not to just hug her and kiss her but he knew he had lost that right some time ago.

‘’Thanks, uh… come, sit.’’

He didn’t wait for her as he sat on the couch and he rubbed his face with one hand. She took the place beside him and he looked at her.

‘’How… how are you, MC?’’

‘’I’m okay Jake… I… can’t say the same for you though, you… you look a little off…’’

‘’I look like shit, don’t I?’’, he chuckled, a hint of a smile on his face as he took her in. She was a sight for sore eyes.

She looked at him, being at a loss of words. Seeing the man she loved being like a shadow of himself caused her even more pain.

‘’Jake, why do you look like this? Do… do you even eat?!’’

He wanted to be distant, she shouldn’t see he still cared. He looked at the other side of the room. He had chosen to push her away and he had to keep it up for as long as he could. His voice came out cold, devoid of emotion.

‘’I don’t think you’re here to discuss my eating habits, princess. So why are you here?’’

“I’m here for you, Jake.”

“Why?”

“Because I need to talk to you.”

“Okay princess, you want to talk, let’s talk. Tell me why you’re here for me after everything that happened? Why do you still want to talk to me? You don’t even know if I want to talk to you.”

She felt her frustration toward him grow. How could he just speak to her so coldly? Why did he have to act so much, putting walls between them? He couldn’t hide from her, he knew that, but kept trying it anyway and she was tired of it.

“Are you seriously gonna do this, Jake? Even now?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, you do. Stop acting.”

He looked at her with an angry expression in his face.

“Stop acting?! Yeah, tell me about it, really! You coming here and pretend to suddenly care really does the job for it.”

She started to disagree with Diego. Her coming here may have been a bad idea. She had started to lose her temper and he made it too hard for her to keep calm.

“Pretend to suddenly care?! I am here because I still fucking care about you even after all this time we do not talk, even after you decided to ruin everything for us and run away not only from me but from yourself, so stop this bullshit act and let me talk because you’re not fooling anyone!”

He stared blankly at her. Of course she wanted to talk to him. She had the right to confront him for leaving her in a sudden, she had the right to scream at him for never loving her and he would take any accuse she would shoot at him even if it wasn’t true because she had the right to do it.

“I would have never believed you’d just get up and leave me like that! You had agreed to come back with all of us, with me, and fight for your innocence! You left me believe and then you left me alone! You didn’t even call! And I couldn’t bring myself to contact you! If you believe there would be a better future for me without you, I am sorry you think so lowly of yourself because I don’t! I still think about you, I still care and I know you care too! But you still owe me a reason, don’t you think?!”

Angry tears run down her face as she let out the bitterness that consumed her all this time. Seeing Jake in his current situation made it really hard for her to let out all that anger but she couldn’t help it. He was on the verge of tears as well. He knew she was right but he couldn’t find the right words to explain.

“There is no reason MC… I’m a coward, I can’t fight anyone anymore. He’s still alive and going. He has already won. There was no hope for me. For us There still isn’t. Putting you and the others in danger because of me again was not an option.”

“For what it matters, there is hope for you.”  

She opened her bag and slammed the papers on the coffee table. He looked at them confused. He slowly picked them up as if he was afraid they were going to bite him and started reading a bit. He turned his gaze to her as the shock of realization hit him.

“You think we forgot about you all this time? Aleister and Grace hasn’t stopped looking for proof since Aleister took charge of Rourke International. Zahra has been trying to hack military systems for months to find evidence. All the guys are rooting for you, waiting to have you back, love and care about you! They will actually come here in a couple of days, I just came here earlier because I needed to talk and make some things clear with you. Now there’s only one thing; are you willing to fight this now with us by your side?”

He buried his face in his hands to keep himself from crying. How could he be so stupid? How could he ever think these guys would leave him alone in a fight or that they wouldn’t be much of a help anyway? He knew these kids. He should have realized after all the things they had survived together that they would all stick with each other. He let out a long exhale and looked out the window. Night had fallen, the moon shining in the sky. She noticed too. For him, everything was too overwhelming that moment and she thought she had to give him some space. She stood up.

“I should go, I… I think you have to think about a lot of-”

“Stay.”

She stared at him in confusion. He looked back at her, his blue eyes gazing into her own.

“It is late. It is dangerous to walk out there now, you… you don’t have to leave. You can sleep in my bed, I’m sleeping in the couch the past few weeks anyway.”

She was surprised by her own answer.

“Okay… I will.”

They didn’t talk much after that. He asked her a couple of times if she was hungry or if she needed anything but she declined. She was confused, he tried so hard to push her away, yet he told her to spend the night. She changed into something comfortable and lied on his bed. She lied there with her eyes closed, trying to process what had happened. Even if he didn’t sleep in the bed, his smell still lingered. Oh, how much she missed that smell.

He lied in a hammock in his porch, staring at the starry night, the waves hitting the seashore, tears falling down his face. She just suddenly came into his life again, even if he did everything to push her away, even if he tried not to be a part of her own. How much of an asshole could he actually be to underestimate her feelings for him? His feelings for her? And now there was actually a chance for him. To be a free man. To be part of his loved ones’ lives. To see his family again. All of these because of the gang of little rascals. Because of her. He went inside glanced at his bedroom to see if she was asleep. She seemed so. He took his guitar from the living room, went outside and sat on the sand. He hadn’t touched his guitar in months. It reminded him how much she loved it when he sang to her. A song came to his mind and he started playing.


//People like you make people like me so fucking nervous,

But I’m calm on the surface.

What’s wrong with the world and how’d we get so cold,

Oh we don’t deserve this, we need something to worship.//


He remembered all the times they had spent on the island. All the flirting, the teasing, her tousled from the wind hair and her big smile when they went rock climbing, how she held onto him for dear life when they first kissed underwater and thought they were gonna die, her beautiful face when he first made love to her. The laughing, the jokes, the bonding with everyone else in their group.


//If our time came back around tell me, would you hear me out?

If we knew what we know now?

Like the waves roll with the moon, did we rise and fall too soon?

It’s been so long I can’t remember.

If I could walk between the stars or be given one more chance,

I know which I’d surrender just to build a bridge back to your heart.//


He knew he had no right to ask for her forgiveness. He certainly didn’t deserve her unconditional love. She was too kind, too perfect for him, still he managed to fuck up, to damage something so pure, to mess with her feelings. Even if she would ever forgive him, he would never forgive himself for giving up on her.


//Oh, drifted apart, how did we get so far?

Forgot where we came from.

You know I never meant to let you down.

Sometimes, these moments, they come and they go, the only thing that you can do

Is hope that they come back around//


She was thinking about all the time she was away from him. How much she missed him. How much she longed for his eyes, his touch, his smile. Lying there, in his bed, she felt a kind of comfort she missed all this time. His smile seemed to have been wiped off of his face. He suffered all this time as well and she knew it. She wished he was lying there beside her, wished she could kiss him so hard that all of his broken pieces would come back together. While thinking all of these, she heard guitar playing from the beach. She knew it was him. She got out of bed and went outside.


//If our time came back around I would never let you down.

‘Til my lungs can scream it out.

Like the waves roll with the moon, did we rise and fall too soon?

It’s been so long I can’t remember.

If I could walk between the stars or be given one more chance,

I know which I’d surrender just to build a bridge back to your heart.//


She listened to him from the moment he started playing. He was sitting in the sand, eyes closed, with a pained expression on his face as he poured his heart out to the song. The moonlight fell onto him, making him even more beautiful, if that was even possible. She quietly sobbed while hearing him sing, understanding his pain and wanting to hold onto him and never let him go again. She missed his voice.

//Don’t fade on me.

I’m holding on to these memories.

Wait for me

As I lay my heart out across the sea.//


He knew she was there, listening to him sing for her. Maybe that was what he wanted. He was never good with words, could never bring his mind to say the right thing. But in that moment, that song and her presence made him feel hope. Hope that he could fix it. Fix everything.


//Like the waves roll with the moon, did we rise and fall too soon?

It’s been so long I can’t remember.

If I could walk between the stars or be given one more chance,

I know which I’d surrender just to build a bridge back to your heart.

People like you make people like me so fucking nervous.

But I’m calm on the surface.//


She walked shakily, with tears in her eyes, to his direction as he finished the song and laid his guitar on the sand. She kneeled behind him and slowly wrapped her arms around him, pressing a soft kiss on the side of his neck, making him shiver slightly. He missed that feeling for so long. Tears run down his face and fell on the sand.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry I left you alone… I’m so sorry…”

He turned to her and wrapped his arms around her. She sat on his lap, hugging him tightly. They just sobbed in each others’ company for a while, taking out all their sadness caused by the time they were apart. He wiped away some tears off her cheeks.

“I love you so much, MC. I’m sorry, I’m sorry I pushed you away and left you alone. I’m sorry you had to go through all of this. I never meant to cause you trouble, I only ever wanted the best for you but ended up destroying what we had. The thoughts of all the awful things I’ve done are killing me. The past year was a living hell for me as well. There wasn’t a single day I wouldn’t think of you or of what I did, what I had to do.”

She knew he was reffering to Mike. She knew Jake carried so much guilt and sorrow inside him. He cupped her face with both his hands, gazing into her watery eyes, their noses almost touching, a vulnerable expression on his face.

“I know you carry a heavy burden but I’m here for you and I want to help you with it. I love you so much Jake. More than you think I do. Life without you is a miserable life.”

She closed the gap between them, bringing their lips together for the first time in so long, tears still running down their faces. The kiss was soft and tender, their lips moving in perfect tandem. Her lips were velvety against his own. She parted them slightly, allowing his tongue to slip inside her mouth. She could feel the soft tickle of his breath beneath her nose, her fingers entwined with his sandy hair as they breathed each other in.

After a long moment, they broke the kiss and stared at each other in the moonlight.

“I missed you Princess.”

“I missed you too Top Gun.”

She laid her head on his shoulder and looked at the stars she had wished so many times to bring him back to her. She forgave him the moment she saw him again. She knew how much he still loved her. How hurt he was. How much he loathed himself. Loving someone who hates himself is a special kind of violence but she would make it better for him. She had to.

After a while in each others arms, she started shivering slightly because of the cold breeze.

“Should we go inside princess?”, he whispered into her ear, then kissed the spot behind it.

They went inside. Neither of them slept much that night.


Bonus:

A thin beam of sunlight fell on her face from the half-closed window as she was slowly waking up. Her back touched his naked chest, his arms around her waist, holding her close to him. She felt small kisses on the side of her neck and couldn’t help but smile to herself. She turned around, with her eyes still closed, and wrapped her arms around his chest, placing a kiss on the crook of his neck.

“Good morning to you too, Jake”

He chuckled slightly, taking in her sleepy figure and then speaking in a quiet, husky voice.

“You’re up early, why?”

“Could ask you the same thing.”

“I… I just couldn’t sleep more and…”

He blushed a little and she looked at him with a playful smile on her face.

“How long have you been staring at me?”

“I don’t know.”

She giggled and kissed him softly.

“It has been a long time since I woke up this happy… Or actually got a peaceful sleep… so thank you for coming here even if I don’t deserve it.”

“I should have come here sooner. I should have tried to reach you, I knew-”
“Hey, none of that now, you’re not to blame, I’m just… grateful and happy that you’re here. ”

He smiled warmly at her. He already felt better than yesterday, better than he had been the last year. They lied on the bed for a while, cuddling, nuzzling, kissing. Then a dark thought crossed his mind.

“Do you think I can actually pull this through? Win? And then… I have to tell people what I’ve done… I don’t know if I can make it. I’m afraid MC.” , he said, holding back a sob.

“Jake… do you remember what I had told you in our tend, the night before we would break into the MASADA?”

There is nothing in this world or the next we can’t face together.”

“And I meant it. I’m here for you Jake and you will pull this throught, we will. You know I love you right?”

“ I do. I love you too.”

“Then everything will turn out okay. You will come back home with us.”

“You’re right, you’re always right.”, he nodded and smiled, “By the way, when will our friends come here?”

“Tomorrow.”

“So what do you want to do today? We could go out, I can show you around if you-”

“We have time for those.”

She climbed on top of him, straddling him, and leaned down, close to his face.

“Can I just stay inside with you all day?”

She placed a sensuous kiss on his lips, then started kissing his neck softly.

“I can’t say no to that princess, can I?”

So blinds are often (rightfully) criticized because of how bad our blind spots can be. Out of all blind spots, so blinds are often the edgiest/most vocally against and critical of anyone with an so fix.

I kept wondering why, and also wondering why this tends to annoy social variants so much. I mean, people criticize sx all the time, and it doesn’t bother me much (nor does it bother other so blinds that I know). So why do social variants get so mad when so blinds criticize so, and why are we often so adamantly against so?

It’s likely because of how much society values so (obviously). Careers expect so by default (networking) and so blinds are at a natural disadvantage– we often are both poor at it and see it as unnecessary, and thus become resentful. As an so blind sp dom, I’ve always thought skills/knowledge (human capital) should speak entirely for itself, yet the workplace simply no longer works that way, and we are shunned quite often for our lack of desire to network or attend events/parties aimed at such.

In the area of personal relations, so is also generally expected. Being “nice” to people you just met, being “open”, being “friendly”: these are all default expected behaviours. No one likes an edgelord (not that most of us care). We’re seen as “edgy” “bitchy” and “assholes” because we don’t often expend the extra effort to be welcoming to everyone we meet, and we don’t usually place value on being “well liked” or “popular” (wow I’m using a lot of quotation marks lol). We also are the most likely to speak out mind about things other people really would prefer us not to. This tends to, for some reason, really bother social variants too. Perhaps because they realize how pathetic and exhausting their chasing popularity and being “well liked” is? But of course so blinds get annoyed with this too– there’s no reason that “trying to be liked” should be expected DEFAULT behaviour.

Don’t even get me STARTED on online stuff where we are ALWAYS expected to give a shit about SO MUCH we just DO NOT CARE ABOUT (like whether or not something is contrarian, will make people upset, or will make people unfollow us). It’s always so bizarre to me when people give a shit about this sort of thing, and even more so when they expect US to care.

Even the high FE users who are soblind that I know are notably less friendly/interested in people that they don’t know and are way choosier about their friends. Some of them are downright mean, and purposely blunt (for a high FE user, anyway).

Obviously, everyone expecting this (imo, bullshit) behaviour from us BY DEFAULT, CONSTANTLY to the point it becomes an inviolable social norm required for actual survival (in the sense of functioning properly in the workplace for example which as an sp dom I REALLY HATE A LOT) is really fucking??? Irritating??? It leads to us often being edgy and contrarian especially online and amongst other so blinds irl, since it’s one of the only situations where we can comfortably express our displeasure and anger without being pointlessly reprimanded for it.

SO OF COURSE we are often gonna be pissy, edgy, or just not social/uninterested in a lot of stuff/people. Why should we be?

anonymous asked:

do you know what makes me very sad? the fact that there isn't a lot of fanart of Lukas smiling. Can you please fix that for me? thank you for your time mi amigo

My perverted butt started giggling at “can you please fix that for me?” because that sounds straight out of an F-boy i used to date know’s dialogue 


I like how he turned out! I hope you do too dude!!!!

So Close (Part 5 of 5)

Pairing: Lin-Manuel x Reader

Summary: This started as a 4+1 setup on Lin asking you to marry him. It devolved into a study of a year plus some in a relationship, and how you can be so close to the end and yet so far in the blink of an eye.

Word Count: 5774 (the shortest one, you’re welcome)

Warnings:  Badly translated Spanish, a swear, maybe.

Notes:  Oh my god, this is end! Thank you all for all the likes, comments, reblogs, replies, and follows. I am so glad you stuck around for the end. You made my day with every single reaction and I couldn’t have asked for a better welcome to the Tumblr fic community. You are all amazing!!

I do not speak Spanish, nor have I ever been on Broadway, nor am I a traditionally published author. I was proposed to once and it was not like this at all (but still good). I put a lot of research into this stuff to make it seem as realistic as possible, but if you can tell me how to fix a situation or change a translation to make it better, please let me know, I’m happy to listen.

I took a lot of inspiration from random things, but I want to point out some of my sources because they’re important.

  • The Hamiltome gave me most of the original cast/crew names and timelines for when things happened (transfer to Broadway, opening night, etc.) I also heavily relied on the timeline on the Hamilton Wiki page.
  • One of the recurring quotes throughout this work comes from Peter Pan. Kudos if you know it.
  • The JFK Airport website gave me the layout but having never flown out of JFK, it may still be very wrong.
  • Spanish translations are courtesy of Reverso Contexto. Better than Google, but I’m sure, not infallible. Let me know if I’m way off the mark.
  • I based the book/surprise off the true story. If you don’t know it, please send me an ask and I will send you what I have on it! (Trying not to give this away.)
  • The start of Lin’s speech was inspired by a prompt from @sentence-fragments. Lots of good starts to be found at this blog - go look!
  • Title comes from the Jon McLaughlin song of the same name. It is the over arcing theme song for this fic. Link

This is the first thing I’ve written in at least 5 years, and it’s the first thing I’ve written for a Broadway fandom in 10+ years. Please be kind.

Tags: @musicalmoriarty / @invisiblerambler / @mistressofdawn / @hamwriters / @keikoraventeller / @spicydice / @defenestrate-yourself-please / @helplesstoday / @superwholockbooknerd526 / @multi-fan-dom-madness / @ihamilhatemyself / @umyas

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4

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Through space and Time (Part one)

There has always been four of you, however when Sam left for Stanford you went with him, leaving Dean and Katie to continue hunting. “Where will you go?” Sam asks you once the two of you are far enough away from the motel.

“London… I want to stay out of this life for as long as possible.” You reply. “I already have my passport and everything.” Sam looks a little surprised but doesn’t say anything about it.

Instead he says: “Promise me that you will look after yourself and please text me when you get there.”

“Of course Sammy.” Before the two of you go your separate ways, your older brother pulls you into a hug and kisses your forehead. As you’re walking you look over your shoulder once watching Sam’s receding form. The song Separate Ways by Journey gets stuck in your head as you head to the airport.

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For a show that pride itself for “having the first black woman protagonist in a star trek show!” I find pretty telling how much they butchered her introduction and trying hard to fix it now but not necesserily doing a very good job that I’m seeing more posts about Lorca and the complexities of his character than for Michael.


The thing with Michael is that there is litterally no mystery anymore about her nor her arc. They gave us the entirety of her backstory in the first two episodes, rushed at warp 10 the “breaking point moment” and now they are trying to scrap back a very obvious “redemption arc” that is so obvious and shoe horned you already know how it’s gonna go and end. There’s also a prety fucking big cognitive dissonance with the fact she was a Starfleet first officer two hairs away from getting her own command and her only starting NOW to barely starting to get into the “starfleet morals and rules”.


They wrote a “Strong Female Character” but now that they have more male characters to play with, they reamember how to do subtlety and depth but since they started with a very Mary-Suesque setting for Michael, they are tiptoeing around her and it’s going to take a long time for them (and viewers) to get a more engaging character.


And it makes me furious because I was very excited for Michael (the whole dumb Sarek thing aside) but they were so “oh my god oh my god we said we would make a female protagonist oh my god HOW DO WE WRITE WOMEN???” they butchered her entrance and they still don’t know how to fix it.


The fact that she is called Michael is stating to make me think that it was their coping mechanism to try to remeber to “write her like you would a male character so you wouldn’t fall into the stereotyping of ‘female’ characters” and still falling into those stereotypical narratives anyway.

8

Hetalia + Motivational cards! ᕙ( * •̀ ᗜ •́ * )ᕗ

I thought of making this set a while ago. Since I noticed most of my friends were feeling down. Me being my ol’  awkward self didn’t know how to approach them about it nor did I know for sure what to say or do. And this is a much easier way for me to say that everything will turn out alright when the time is right.

It was fun doing it since it helped lifting my own spirit :> 

anonymous asked:

Before you said SC/OL&Co prob know & PR people most def prob know of fandom drama fallouts. So they're aware of drama MM is causing but do you think anyone knows of the fan-to-fan drama? The downright hate that's being spewed between antis & shippers & now between shippers & shippers? It just feels like it's getting worse by the day when I know I at least expected it to get somewhat better. Def not exponentially worse. Is this something PR may try to fix? Idk how. Or will gloss over/not care?

Fan to fan infighting exists in every fandom and it’s not - nor should it be - up to the celebs or their PR teams to try and police the behavior of hundreds of thousands of grown-ass adults. The onus is on each and every one of us to conduct ourselves in a manner we can live with, and to deal with the consequences of how others perceive and react to that. There is not any one person, Sam and Cait included, who can snap their fingers and fix the toxicity in this fandom or any other. It’s up to us to tailor our experiences and to take what suits us and leave the rest. Unfortunately, not everyone sees it that way and it’s the largest contributor to this never ending cesspool of dickassery.

Radiance (Crush x Reader) Part 1

(Greek God!Crush x Reader Ancient GreeceAU)


You clasped your hands to your chest, quietly whispering a prayer to the gods. Hoping luck would be on your side tomorrow, you looked out at the sea and setting sun.

There was one god who had the ability to do exactly what you wished for.

(C/N), the god of radiance.

It was rumored that if (C/N) was pleased, good fortune would come to those around him. Through the myths that you heard, (C/N) was a charming god who always had his way. It seemed luck and favor were always on his side. Girls would swoon the moment they saw him, other men would treat him respect and even other gods would acknowledge his power.

You weren’t sure what to think of him, knowing this form of special could make a man arrogant. What you thought wouldn’t matter though, the gods did as they pleased, plus you were just a common girl. You didn’t have a say in anything.

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TITLE: F#*king marry me already

CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 9

AUTHOR: Valarie Ravenhearst2

ORIGINAL IMAGINE:

Imagine Loki trying to propose to you, trying to make it the most perfect occasion. But every time that it comes to the big night, something happens, like you getting sick or have to work, so it keeps getting put off because he wants it to be perfect

RATING: MA

NOTES/WARNINGS: Smut. Sorry for lateness.

We stay inside the loft all weekend, and since I don’t have to work today Loki decides to hide from the world another day. Though I have a suspicion that that  would have been he’s decision whether or not I had the day off. And who could blame him? Lordy I have never wanted to deck someone so badly. I imagine Thor will be the one to eventually break us out of isolation; if the need for food doesn’t get us first. And boy oh boy imma clock him square in the jaw. He knows how much Loki’s trying to make up for what happened, despite it not being his fault. Yes, he does defend him and encourages him to try and make friends with the others; but he doesn’t do it with confidence. Nor does he do much to encourage the others to put in the effort. Everyone’s just expecting Loki to fix the problem, when it’s their fucking fault. Ugh! This is when I wish I had superpowers so I could go do some serious ass whopping on them.
  
I roll over, propping myself up on my elbow to look down on my sleeping god. His raven hair is sprawled across his pillow, contrasting starkly against its whiteness, even in the dull lighting. His modestly defined chest rising and falling in a sedated rhythm; the occasional snore escaping his mouth. I stroke his cheek lightly with the back of my finger before sliding out of bed. I pull on one of his shirts before heading downstairs and beginning breakfast.
   I make his favourite pancake mix and prepare a tray with his favourite garnishes, before taking the small stack back up to him. He’d rolled onto his stomach whilst I’d been cooking.

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how you get the boy - eighteen

“You didn’t think I could handle it myself?” I asked then, bitterness creeping into my voice.

“No,” he was quick to answer that, shaking his head profusely, “I mean I know you could handle it but.. I, erm, you looked so upset, bunny and I just wanted to fix it for you.”

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