nope this is not making it better

anonymous asked:

UT/UF bros are somewhere else (at work, at home or far away), and their SO sends to them a malicious and suggestive message, asking to the boys if they want to do some sex-text or an erotic call to pass the time or because they both need it. What do the skellis say? Do they enjoy it or find this thing obscene?

Mmmmm im not a fan of it myself. i dont trust most of my personal pics on any device really. but for you i can write it hun))

Sansy-
you guys go ahead and do the thing, him almost getting caught, cause hes still at work, but it only makes it better for him lol
(did i forget to add ‘risky’ to his kink list? i think i did…oh well. Ill fix it later.))

Papy-
Nope nope nope nope nope. none of that while hes not at home please. its very unsettling and he doesn’t want to be stuck hot and bothered while hes out. He Doesn’t even look at his phone the rest of the day. Though he might do something with you later if that’s what you want. but apologize pls, he really was uncomfortable.

Red-
As soon as he saw the first text, he teleported back home and pinned you to the bed/couch. you should have known better than to tease him dollface, now youre gonna get it~

Edge-
uhhhhhhh hes not sure how to respond to this. he cant text back, being in the royal guard and all, but he will be caught smiling at his phone from time to time…~
yep you gonna get it when he gets home.

Because abortions aren't the only way the patriarchy wants to control your junk

OBGYN: Yeah, you are exhibiting all the signs of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. I’m so sorry.

Me: Huh? Oh, yeah. Insulin resistance, impossible weight loss, pre-disposition to type II diabetes, painful AF periods. Likelihood of bleed outs. Crap. That blows.

OBGYN: Yeah, well that too.

Me: *blinks* What?

OBGYN: Well, PCOS makes it very difficult for a woman to conceive and carry.

Me: BWHAHAHAHA. Yeah. No. No babies. Ever. Never wanted them. At all. Maternal instinct is not strong with this one. Only upside today.

OBGYN: Well then. Not exactly problem solved, but we’ll run with it.

Me: So about the MIND-SEARING PAIN and occasional HEAVY AF BLEEDING. When can we deal with that.

OBGYN: Not until you are 35.

Me: Dah fuq?

OBGYN: Not my rules. Hospitalization won’t even consider any treatment unless it’s life or death until you’re 35.

Me: Why?

OBGYN: Because you might want to have a baby.

Me: I’m 31. I didn’t want kids when I was 11, I didn’t want them at 21, and I sure as shit don’t want them now. Can’t I just sign a form that says “I don’t ever want a baby take it out, take it out now”?

OBGYN: Nope.

Me: Why?

OBGYN: Government rules. No removal of baby making parts before 35 unless your life is in immediate jeopardy.

TL;DR: The government knows better about your baby making parts than you do.

How the Venus signs want to be loved

*use venus but check moon as well*

Aries Venus: love me back but don’t chase me lol it’s my job to chase you duh…I’m going to make it obvious what I want. don’t overcomplicate things, love is simple. let’s make it fast. let’s jump into it. let’s make it exciting!!! it’s like a game and I’m going to win you

Taurus Venus: love me by staying the same. please. be there for me. be someone I can count on. be patient. feed me!!!! I like that. give me things!!!! I like that too. okay, okay, fINE I might want to possess you wHOOPS…just don’t push me or…bye

Gemini Venus: wait wait do I like you or do I like this other person????? or that person??? wait wait I’m just going to not think about it oooooh I’m curious about you now idk we can be together for today if you want but it’s chill!!! talk to me!!!! let’s just have fun!!! let’s not label this that’s so serious and boring!!! you can change, I can change, and I mean it’s cool if we want to also date 3 other people too lol like no biggie, it’s vARIETY haha just don’t pin me down or get too deep otherwise I’ll be out the door in 0.03 seconds

Cancer Venus: love me!!!!!!!! I’m so lonely!!!!! :((((( I just want you to be soft and hold me and tell me you’re committed and that you love me!!!!! I need to hear that because I feel like no one loves me ever :’( I want to stay at home and cuddle with you and you can tell me all of the things you’re feeling <3 and maybe I’ll smother you a little haha but dON’T LEAVE PLEASE

Leo Venus: love me back and I’ll show you how much I love you!!! like, all the time!!!! if I love you, know that it’s a compliment because I only settle for the best. you’re all I’m going to brag uM I MEAN talk about!!! if you make me the center of your world, I’ll make you the center of mine!!! we can have fun, all I need is attention and validation jUST A LIL BIT BE PREPARED and I’m the king/queen here so tell me I’m wonderful and amazing because I don’t hear that enough :/ if I don’t take pride in our relationship, see ya. that means you didn’t dESERVE ME

Virgo Venus: love me by letting me help you!! okay oKAY I’M A LIL INSECURE but I’ll do things for you!!!! I’ll make you feel loved without all of that sentimental lovey stuff - we don’t need that! my one flaw is that I see all of the flaws in our relationship and you - and want to fix them!!! and…nagging…sometimes…but just to make you better!! I just want things to be simple and practical!!! nOTHING BIG NOTHING TOO INTENSE THAT’S SCARY I MIGHT FREAK OUT AND LEAVE

Libra Venus: haha you can love me if you want to ;) but I mean only if you want to…like…I’m not trying to force anything here lol!!!! we can be in love…and have a beautiful pure relationship where we sHARE everything <3 and make everything look like we’re perfect :) I’m into equality :) um like don’t freak out but sometimes I’m just trying to be nice and it turns into flirting bUT IT’S OK…I know it’s weird but I really don’t like people who are too pushy I just want someone who’s going to be polite and nice :)))))) so if you’re not that I mean I’ll still be nice to you but just I might not want to be with you idk we’ll see AHHHH decisions are hard for me in relationships!!!!

Scorpio Venus: I’ll love you if you can handle me. I would say I don’t open up easily in love, but then that would be opening up to you. and I can’t do that. what I can do is be in control. I know how to handle this. oh, I’ll commit, it’s just not everyone knows how to figure me out. and I won’t stop until I find someone who’s willing to go deep with me. and I might stare at you for extended periods of time. you call it obsession, I call it intensity.

Sagittarius Venus: we can be in love if you show me the world!!!!! let’s grow!!!!! and expand our horizons!!!!! and laugh!!!!!! and have FUN!!!!! lot’s of FUN!!!!! oooooooohhhhhhh and if you’re foreign then I’ll REALLY like you!!!!!!!! wooooooooo love is an adventure!!!!!!!!!!!!! the only time I’ll leave is if I feel like you’re dragging down my free spirit!!!!!! I’ll find someone who’s more interesting and cultured than you are on my next expedition!!!

Capricorn Venus: okay. we can be in love but first I have to have a plan. I like plans. and feeling competent in love. I like seeing what I want and going for it. nothing crazy or overly gooey. nope. can’t do that. I just need someone who’s going to help me succeed. I’m cautious, but only because I don’t want you to waste my time that I could be using to be better and work harder. I’m always looking ahead, and I need someone to be there with me. let’s put effort into this and make it long-term. if you’re not willing to, then I will turn stone cold.

Aquarius Venus: I would say we could be in love but let’s not call it love!!! let’s call it whatever!!!! something we can’t label!!!! let’s mix it up because this world is so dull without us!!!! um…what’s attachment??? could you explain that word to me, please??? all I know is that we can be friends, you know??? and I’ll choose the terms, okay?? haha let’s be intellectual that’s pretty cool there’s no attachment there I know that and um sorry but eW FEELINGS lol not in a rELATIONSHIP if you want to bring that stuff up I’m not right for you I guess :/ find someone more boring

Pisces Venus: looooooooooveeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!! uh, sorry, what were you saying? oh, I’m just projecting all of my ideals onto you. no, it’s a compliment!!!!!! I accept all of your flaws!!!!!! aw let’s be romantic that’s so cuuuute <3 and yeah I’ll forgive you, it’s okay!!!! but sorry um I like you and all but it’s hard for me to commit sometimes because I see all of the possibilities!!! um, who am I??? I guess it doesn’t matter!!!! let’s live in a world of rainbows and unicorns together!!!!! but I mean it’s not really nice if you take advantage of me :((((

anonymous asked:

Could you list all of the tropes that you consider "feel good violence"?

Okay, “Feel Good Violence” is very simple as a concept. It’s violence that feels good, when you’re reading it, when you’re watching it on screen, because for the perpetrator violence can feel really damn good. However, that is violence when taken outside of context. It is violence without consequences. It is violence for the sake of violence. Violence that serves no purpose but to prove the character or person is tough.

Protagonist Sanctioned Bullying - Bullying in general is a fairly popular method to achieve “Feel Good Violence” because bullying does feel good. The audience sympathizes with the protagonist, so when the protagonist acts they cheer for it. Its not presented as bullying by the narrative, but it is still bullying. Usually it’s a rival or a character set up to “deserve it”, but sometimes not.

Making people afraid makes you feel tough. Many authors will fall prey to the sweet lure of bullying and not even know it because bullying is violence without fear of consequence. Most often, they’ve been the recipients rather than the perpetrators, and acting as the bully is a very different ballgame. It is an emotional and psychological high. You feel big, strong, safe, and untouchable. Powerful. In their worst incarnations, most superheroes become bullies.

Bullying is all about control, protected status, and freedom from consequences. An entirely fictional world creates the opportunity for all these things, with the narrative itself siding with the bully. Bullying is Feel Good Violence writ large in real life. It’ll follow you into the fictional world just as easily. Power is a high you never forget.

This is very common trope for characters who also act as a means of self-insertion by the author. For them, it isn’t bullying. It’s an example of how awesome their character is and how tough they are.

Everything But Dead - When the only morals applied are if someone died, the rest is sanctioned without comment. There are no narrative consequences for the character’s behavior, and everyone cheers them on. Anyone who calls them out is an acceptable target, usually evil, or the protagonist wins them over in the end because their actions are “justified”.

By Any Means Stupid - This is the “by any means necessary“ trope, where the violence really isn’t necessary and the author just wanted an excuse to paint the room red.

Unprovoked Violence Is Always the Solution - This is the one where the protagonist skips all the other steps and goes straight to preemptive violence against a total stranger, for no reason other than it makes them appear tough. Usually not framed by the narrative as bad, but it is. Oh, yes, it is. Worse there usually aren’t any consequences for the hero physically assaulting someone in a room full of witnesses because everyone knows they’re the hero, right?

Random Violence Before Strangers is A-Okay -  The protagonist disembowels a bully in front of their victim in order to protect them and receives effusive thank yous. Nothing comes from this. The bad guy is dead. We all feel good. All is right in the world. Except… violence freaks people out.

Acceptable Targets - These are people designated by the writer as non-entities and targets for violence regardless of narrative context. A very slippery slope that is ever descending. But, you know, it feels good? Sure, so long as you’re not on the receiving end. This kind of dehumanization happens in real life too, just in case you were wondering.

Beating Up My Source - You have a character who collects information from an old standby, they threaten and beat up that standby regularly to show they’re tough. At what point does this seem like a terrible idea? Never! Hey, they’re a bad person so you feel good, right?

Waving My Gun Around - Trigger discipline is just the beginning of this problem. A gun is not a toy. but you’ll find a vast array of narratives who use it that way in order to look tough.

Killing Your Way to the Top - You can’t really destroy organizations like this. Killing the people at the top will just lead to someone else taking their place. Whenever you create a power vacuum someone will fill it. You can’t destroy an organization by killing. It doesn’t work. But, it feels good!

Must Obviously Be Boy - Because female fighters are unicorns and the mooks have never laid eyes on a woman before. Usually part of a larger narrative issue with violence, but acts as a “get out of jail free” card.

Clear the Building - That time the character decided to knock everyone out to prove that they are tough. Weirder when it happens on stealth missions.

I Am Not Gaining Levels - When you’re reading a book and the character is fighting like it’s a video game. They fight everyone like they’re in an RPG chasing XP. Why? We don’t know, but it makes them feel good.

Let Me Shoot Him Twenty Times - We could call this spray and pray, but let’s pretend for a moment the magazine could run dry.

Magic Bullets - The bullets that go where you want, stop when you want, and don’t cause accidental casualties. You know, like the protagonist blind firing through a wall and hitting a four year old playing in the yard across the street.

Body Armor Always Prevents A Blow-through - Nope!

New to Training, Perfect Sparring - That time the main character took on their evil rival (school’s top/better trained student) in a sparring match and won, especially when it was their first day.

Sparring Just In General - The vast majority of Western media doesn’t understand the concept or purpose of sparring. Many authors seem to think its a UFC match where you just beat each other up and the first thing you do during training to “assess your capabilities”.

Queuing for Combat - This is an old Hollywood trick where the burden of a group fight is lifted as the stuntmen wait their turn to fight the protagonist. Particularly egregious in written action sequences where the author doesn’t grasp the concept of teamwork. It also warps the understanding of how many people its possible for a human to fight at once.

Terrible At Torture - Torture is a terrible way to gain information in general because it doesn’t lead to a confession so much as confirmation bias. The subject will tell you whatever you want to hear because they want the pain to stop. It’s even worse when done poorly, which it is 90% of the time. Usually, media uses it for shock value or to prove how tough a protagonist is. Torture is not putting a blowtorch to someone’s foot and hoping for the best. It’s far, far more complicated than that. Neither torturer nor subject come out of the experience whole. Besides, the unimaginative protagonists say, “screw you!” The clever ones lie.

What Is: Dress for Success - How we dress our characters is often necessary for crafting a sense of narrative realism. This comes in often as a reason for why its so difficult to take female action heroes seriously, but it happens to the guys too. Not a bad trope on its own, but often symptomatic of a larger narrative approach to violence that ends with “feel” and “good”.

Beautiful and Badass - This one is a very specific female fantasy, which is that you can meet all the cultural standards and definitions for beauty while being in direct defiance of them. These are the female characters who are never touched by the combat they engage in. They are always graceful, always elegant, always beautiful in motion and the narrative will pause to tell us this often. “She fights like she’s dancing.” For these characters, their supermodel-esque beauty is a natural extension of their being. They don’t work at it. Combat is incidental. It’s a set piece to tell you how awesome the character is. It generally amounts to nothing, serves no real narrative purpose, but by god the author is going to walk us through it in excruciating detail. Combat and character are separate, and consequences are for other people.

My Instincts Performed A Wheel Kick - Your instincts just don’t work that way.

There’s probably more, but that hits most of the major sins.

Keep in mind that many of these tropes are not issues by themselves. They often work when context and consequences are taken into account by their narrative/setting. Generally, this results in characters with no accountability for their behavior and exhibit no responsibility for their actions. The issue, of course, is that responsibility and accountability are what make well-written violence work. Violence often drives the narrative. It’s part and parcel to who the character is, and their decision making. It’s the difference between a character who presents themselves as tough or skilled and one who actually is.

-Michi

This blog is supported through Patreon. If you enjoy our content, please consider becoming a Patron. Every contribution helps keep us online, and writing. If you already are a Patron, thank you.

After Hours [m]

pairing: reader x Yoongi

Genre: tattoed!yoongi, rapper!tyoongi, angst? fluff? smut, idk how to label this haha

word count: 16,212

warnings: graphic sexual content, alcohol, language

a/n: this is loosely based of Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist. i am v nervous about this as it isn’t the usual angst fueled plot I normally write. so if it’s crap, please be kind haha. i’m tagging the lovely @dimplecoups​ because i know you’ve been waiting for this. and @2seoke for always being the best babe.

Originally posted by lethargicmin

You looked in the mirror, making sure your face mask was properly in place. If you were going to look like a serial killer for the next 20 minutes, you at least wanted to look the part. Your bed was calling your name as you walked over to the soft mattress, choosing to ignore the missed calls and text messages from your best friend. This was the first Saturday night you had to yourself in months. No work. No brother. No best friend. You were free to do whatever you wanted.

Or at least that’s what you had originally intended. But as the door to your bedroom crashed open you soon realized that the night had other plans for you.

“Why haven’t you answered my calls?” your best friend Irene squealed as she plopped down at the foot of your bed. “It’s Saturday night and I know you don’t have to work tomorrow!”

You gave her a look. Well, you tried to give her a look to the best of your ability as the motions of your face was restricted by the sheet mask on top of it. “There’s a reason why I didn’t answer your calls. And just because my idiot brother gave you a key to our apartment doesn’t mean you can just waltz in here any time you want.”

Irene rolled her eyes, blowing a large bubble from the gum she was constantly chewing. She was clearly not amused at your disinterest on leaving your apartment tonight. You reached forward, popping it with your pointer finger. “You’re no fun, Y/N” she whined, collecting the gum back into her mouth.

“I can’t have fun when I’m always too busy taking care of you.” you quipped, reminding her of the last time the two of you went out. “I had to beg that cop not to give you a ticket for being drunk in public. Why aren’t you bothering my brother? I’m sure he would love to see you.”

Keep reading

Aaron was the first person to break down Robert’s defenses, to challenge him to be better, to me more, to be himself. Aaron was the first person to show Robert he could care, he could love, without losing himself in the process. Aaron gave Robert a place to exist without judgement, encouraging his good traits, and making Robert want to be less bad. I don’t think Robert ever really thought it was possible to be this accepted, this loved, to feel this at home, to find a place where his flaws aren’t picked apart but someone helps him hold them together. Aaron has given Robert that priceless place of sanctuary, inexorably tied to this one person, and Robert has a relationship with Aaron unlike any he has had with anyone. Robert Sugden has always been broken, but for the first time in his life, that’s ok.

No more PDA for you...

I’ve been working at a hobby store for awhile now. Recently a 18yro high school girl(we will call her molly) started to come by and loiter. She would buy a snack here and there, but mostly she would walk around and bother people who are actually there to play board games, cards, RPGs etc. Now this didn’t really bother me, she was not a threat. I would usually be bothered if it was a stinky transient/drifter or a scumbag cheater (I have to run sanction Magic: the Gathering events) For the first couple months she was there is was meh, I was more concentrated about the store, but I started to notice she would take up tables to just vent about drama in her life and recently was bringing her boyfriend in the back rooms to cuddle and kiss. (I politely asked them to stop but nope)oh..hell no. That same day an older gentleman came in during that time, I did my usual greeting. (we will call him bob.)

me: hello sir, welcome! can I help you find anything?

Bob: I’m looking for my son?

Me: oh what is his name? (we will call him billy)

Bob: Billy

Me: okay let me call him out…Hello billy! your dad is here!(no answer)

Bob: he is with uh, Molly-lyn?

***Petty revenge***

Me: Ah…her…yeah they’re in the back making out…you better talk to your son, heard she is trouble.

Bob: oh…really? hm No worries, we will talk…

**fast forward to the end of my shift**, she approached me and and demanded what I said to Billy’s dad and that she just got dumped by billy via text. I actually was caught off guard and said…“uh…nothing” I left as soon as possible after that. she still comes to the shop though.

Dumped before valentines day.

Fluff Meme: Cuddles Edition

“Mm…you’re warm….”

“You are ridiculously comfortable…”

“Awe! But I don’t want to get up….”

“Get back here and cuddle with me…”

“Nope! You’re my prisoner today…”

“I’m tired, come to bed and cuddle with me please?”

“Well I guess I could come over there and cuddle with you for a bit…”

“Well if it’ll make you feel better…”

“A little cuddling won’t kill you, I promise.”

“It’ll be warmer if we cuddle together….”

“I’m sorry babe; I’m just not in the mood today, could we cuddle instead please?”

“I always sleep better when you’re here with me…”

“Why don’t we just relax and cuddle all day, hmm?”

“I’m really sore today, could we just take it easy and cuddle today please?”

“Somehow cuddling with you is even better than I expected it to be…”

“Can we cuddle for a bit please? I’m feeling kinda down…”

“I’ve had a rough day and honestly all I want right now is a drink and someone to cuddle with…”

“You’re so cute when you’re half asleep like this…”

FMAB: The men are body builders. The women are weight lifters.

The kings look like this:

See the definition in their muscles? How it shows off their bodies and gives the idea of power? 

(Live Action Reference: Dave Batista-WWE)

This by no means indicates that they’re weak. It just means the workouts that the men do are meant to enlarge their physique apposed to increase their strength. Yes, those are two different things. 

(Matthias Steiner-Olympics 2008)

This man looks NOTHING like the above picture of the pro-wrestler, yet is lifting 258.0 kg (568 pounds). Again, this doesn’t mean Batista can’t lift that amount. But his body shape gives the impression that it can lift more than Steiner’s.  

Now, let’s look at the queens.

Keep reading

Asylum

Note: Based off of the recent fanart that we reblogged. Enjoy!

Pairings: H2OVanoss, Minicat, Brohm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three doctors stood outside of the asylum, having their normal chat before they walked in.

“Honestly, I don’t know which one I should be worried about; Mini or Pablo?” Tyler sighed, scratching the back of his neck.

“I say both. At least you don’t have my problem where Delirious keeps trying to get me to let him out,” Evan replied, fixing his coat.

“And then there’s Ohm, who will not stop flirting with me. I honestly think he does it to try and get me to let him free or something,” Bryce added, fiddling with the pencil in his hands.

“Mini flirts with me too, and sometimes it gets real uncomfortable.”

“I don’t know if I can say Delirious is necessarily flirting with me, but I really hope it doesn’t get to that level.”

They all nodded in agreement before going inside, mentally preparing themselves for the day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tyler walked into the padded room where his patient stayed. “Hello, Tyler~” He heard Mini say. He turned to see the Brit smiling at him from the corner of the room.

“Good morning, Mini. How’d you sleep?”

“Okay, I guess. It would have been better if you were there, though,” he teased with a smirk. Tyler just sighed and grabbed his clipboard.

“Did you talk to Pablo while I was gone?”

“Nope. He tried to talk to me, but I blocked him out. Aren’t I just such a good boy?” Mini asked, taking a step closer to Tyler.

“If you take one more step closer, I will make sure that straightjacket is tightened,” Tyler snapped. He immediately regretted that, as the look on Mini’s face unnerved him to the bone.

“Oh, you have no idea how much I love it when you get rough,” he purred, taking another step forward. “You know, I would have never known you were into that stuff, but I think I’ll be fine with it.”

Tyler didn’t say anything. He couldn’t; anything that came out of his mouth would be used against him in someway. Instead, he just finished writing something down and started to leave.

“You’re gonna leave me without my goodbye kiss?”

Tyler stopped and silently cursed. The only way Mini would listen to the other staff was if Tyler gave him a kiss. Tyler turned back around, sighing. Mini walked up to him and waited. Tyler gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before quickly leaving.

God, he hated doing that. Especially when he knew that Mini had a shit-eating grin on his face, knowing that he had won that day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As soon as Evan stepped inside the room, his patient’s head bolted up, a grin plastered onto his face. “Evan! It’s so good to see you again,” he chirped.

“Likewise. How did you sleep, Delirious?”

“Pretty good, actually. The sound of the voices telling me to kill everyone here is surprisingly soothing. You should try it out sometime,” he laughed. Evan shook his head and wrote something down on the clipboard.

“Was that all the voices said?” He asked.

“Well, they also said that you should let me out…” Evan sighed at that.

“Delirious, you know I can’t do that. Even if I wanted to, I wouldn’t let you out. Let it go already.”

Delirious started to pout. “Aww, but it’s so fun making you annoyed!”

Evan sighed and shook his head once more before writing something on the clipboard and tiring to leave. “I’ll be back in a couple of hours to check up on you. Don’t do anything bad.”

“I can’t promise anything, but I’ll try. Will you let me out if I do?”

Evan didn’t reply as he left the room, slamming the door shut behind him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bryce held a small smile as he walked down the hall. He couldn’t help it; that’s just how he normally was. When he got to his patients room, however, the smile quickly disappeared. He opened the door and closed it quietly behind him.

“Hey Brycey-poo~” his patient called from the bed at the other side of the room.

“Don’t call me that,” Bryce replied, annoyed at the nickname he had gotten.

“Oh, come on, Brycey. You know you love it~”

“Actually, I don’t. Now, how did you sleep?”

“Not good. You weren’t there, so I didn’t sleep well. Do ya think you’ll be able to get the night shift here as well as the day one?” Ohm asked with a smile on his face.

“No.”

Ohm laughed and leaned his head back against the wall. “Bryce, why don’t you love me? All I’ve ever done was compliment you and loved you. Are you shoving back your feelings?”

“No, because I don’t have any for you. You’re a mental patient, Ohm.”

“So?”

“So, my answer will always be no. Stop asking me.”

“Nah. I like seeing you get angry. It’s real cute, y'know? It’s also kinda hot, if I’m being completely honest.” Bryce sighed before leaving the room as quickly as possible as he wrote something down.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Does Mini still have you do that thing so he doesn’t give trouble to the others?” Evan asked Tyler as he took a bite out of his sandwich.

“Sadly, yes. It gets unnerving, especially when he has that grin that just reads ‘I win’.”

“I know what you mean. I hate the smile that Ohm gives me whenever I start to get angry with him. He enjoys it way too much,” Bryce said as he took another spoonful of yogurt.

“What about Delirious? Still giving you trouble of letting him go?” Evan nodded.

“Yeah. I swear he knows that he’s gonna get the same answer everytime, but he keeps on going for it anyways.”

“Ohm’s the same way. He thinks that we should be ‘together’, even if I tell him no. He says I’m ‘holding back by feelings for him’. Excuse my language, but that’s complete bullshit.” Evan and Tyler nodded.

The bell rang, indicating that their lunch break was over. They all sighed and said their goodbyes before going back to check up on their patients.

5

Eric x Reader

Requested by Anon

Warnings: strong language, smut, dirty talk, sex


“(Y/N)…” Your brother’s eyes dropped to the skirt you were wearing, frowning because you were wearing the dress and not your usual jeans and because it was anything but the Dauntless colours.

“What is it?” You sighed expecting an earful.

He shook his head and decided you’d had enough of him telling you to train seriously the night before and didn’t need him nagging you again. “Will you go and find Eric he’s late.”

Keep reading

Like an Arrow to the Chest

Summary: Rather than Chat Noir being struck by Dark Cupid’s arrow, what if it had been Ladybug?Or rather…Bridgette?

Note I: Obligated Valentine’s Day fic…but with the PV kids ;D Hope you enjoy!

Note II: I took a direct line from a post made by edorazzi, who I recommend you following for lots of nice art! 

ao3

.

It was Ladybug who paid attention to the akuma victims’ stories, not Felix. He usually liked focusing on winning the battle with minimum damage done, focusing on the victim’s general background.

For example, this victim had been heartbroken and now turned love to hate. Fairly easy to guess, and no need to elaborate.

It also should have been an easy battle; he was not afraid when the akuma appeared in front of him since there was hardly any love in him to turn to hate in the first place. He’d pretend to get struck, then run off, transform, and distract the akuma until Ladybug arrived so they could take down the villain together.

He did not count on Bridgette Cheng shoving him to the ground, the arrow lodging itself in her chest before dissolving in an array of red and black sparkles.

Keep reading

Humans are Weird

So…how would aliens react to realizing that humans wear makeup?

“Human, why are you coating yourself in paste?”

“This is foundation obviously, we use it to hide blemishes on our faces.”

“So….what purpose is it used for? Battle? Camouflage?”

“Well, we think it makes us look prettier, I guess?”

“That sounds kind of silly and pointless?”

“Hey, this is better than in the 18th century and we used to stick drops of belladonna in our eyes to make our pupils larger.”

“Aren’t those poisonous in your planet?”

“Yup! It cause blindness and hallucinations. We only use it for medicine now.”

Confessions - Carl Gallagher Imagine

Originally posted by zgallagher

Warning: Sexual content, swearing, etc.

Word Count: 2277



“Carl, give it back!” you yelled, rolling your eyes and chasing your best friend up the stairs of the Gallgher house.  Since you had stopped to text a few times while the two of you were playing a video game on the couch, he took it upon himself to snatch the phone out of your hands and run away with it.

“Hey, I just wanna know who could possibly be so important that they could distract you as I kicked your ass in Call of Duty,” he teased, sprinting into his room and unsuccessfully attempting to slam the door before you put your foot in the doorway.

“Ow, what the fuck, Carl?” you yelled, limping in on the foot that hadn’t been crushed by the door.  “I was literally just answering my brother to let him know that I was spending the night here per usual!  And I was letting him know that I’d go grocery shopping tomorrow.  Now give me my phone back so I can finish kicking your ass downstairs.”

Carl smirked and raised his eyebrows at you, plopping down on Ian’s empty bed.  “Your brother.  Mhmm.” His eyes continued to nosily scan the screen of your phone.

“Yes, Carl, my brother.  I’m pretty sure we both know that I have nobody interesting to text considering I’ve been single for, what, six months now?  Now give me my phone back,” you demanded, inching forward and banging your hip into his dresser.  The rocking of the dresser caused a box to fall on the ground, spilling out its contents.  A smirk formed on your lips as your eyes scanned the ground.  It was your turn to tease him now.  “Ah, nice condoms.  I see someone has been getting the ladies?”

Carl immediately shot up to his feet, shoving you to the side and bending down to pick up the condoms off of the ground.  “Ha, I wish,” he said with a chuckle, a slight blush forming on his cheeks.  His shaky hands struggled to shove the contents back into the box.

You raised an eyebrow in response, stepping forward and ripping your phone out of his back pocket.  “What do you mean by that?” you questioned, walking around him and climbing up onto his bed as he remained on the ground.  “We’ve been best friends for years and I’m pretty sure we both know you’ve had your fair share of girls over here.”

“Yeah, I have, but…” He paused for a moment as he shoved the box into one of the drawers and slammed it closed.  “I’ve never gone, like, all the way with any of them… you know. Sure I’ve done just about everything else, but I’ve never actually done that with any of them.”  It was pretty clear he was embarrassed to confess this to you.

The smirk reappeared on your lips as he hesitantly climbed up onto his bed and plopped down beside you, his eyes refusing to meet yours.  “Wow, Carl Gallagher, a virgin?  When did you plan on telling me this?” you mocked, shoving his side before giggling quietly to yourself.

Carl clearly wasn’t amused.  He rolled onto his side so his back was facing you.  “Stopppp.”

You laughed yet again and rolled your eyes, squeezing his shoulder.  “I’m just messing with you.  I’m in the same boat as you.  No need to be embarrassed.”


“Really?” Your words caused Carl to roll back over to face you, his eyes scanning your face.  “Hmm. Interesting.”  Slowly, a smug grin formed on his lips.  “I guess that makes me feel a little better, but not completely.  Now since you’ve embarrassed me, it’s your turn to confess something about yourself.”

Your eyes widened as you shoved his chest with the palm of your hand.  “What? How is that fair?  I just confessed to the same thing!” you exclaimed, but Carl wasn’t having it.

“Nope,” he responded with a chuckle, grabbing your hand off his chest and holding it in his own a few seconds longer than usual. “You can’t have the same confession as me.  It has to be original.”  He was relentless.

“Ugh, fine,” you huffed, rolling over onto your back and staring up at the ceiling.  After a few moments of silent pondering, an idea finally came to your mind.  “I’ve never had an orgasm.”

The sheets ruffled as Carl shot up into a seated position on the bed.  A puzzled look took over his face as he stared down at you in disbelief.  “Wait, huh?”

You bit your lip as your cheeks began to heat up.  “I mean, yeah, is that so weird?”

Carl went silent for another few seconds, combing his fingers through his wavy hair as his face remained scrunched up in confusion.  “Well, yeah, kind of,” he started, nodding his head. “I get that you’ve never had sex, but I know you’ve done just about everything else with your past boyfriends.  And, what?  I just don’t understand.”

Your cheeks darkened even more as you looked down and began to play with your fingers.  “Sure I’ve done a lot of things with my past boyfriends, but… I don’t know.  None of them ever really brought me to that level.”

Still, Carl looked confused.  His eyes wouldn’t leave your embarrassed face as he tried to figure this out.  “Okay, so like, obviously your past boyfriends went down on you, right?”

This wasn’t exactly how had planned to spend your Friday night.  With a sigh, you sat up and rested your back against the wall.  “What do you mean by obviously?  Joey attempted it but got ‘tired’ and gave up after like thirty seconds. And Matt and Ben never did.  Matt said that it was weird and he’d rather not do it.  Ben said that girls like to go down on guys but guys don’t like to go down on girls.” You shook your head and covered your face with your hands.  “Can we please talk about something else now?”

Carl held up his hand in rejection and shook his head.  “No, no, no.  Not yet, Y/N.  I’m still confused,” he said, his wide eyes still burning into your face.  “So you’re trying to tell me that all three of those guys didn’t like going down on their girlfriends?”

“Yes, Carl, I guess that is what I’m saying,” you replied, beginning to get a bit annoyed.  “Why is this so hard for you to understand?”

Finally, a quiet laugh escaped Carl’s lips, but he still continued to shake his head.  “So you’re trying to tell me that there’s real guys that exist that don’t like to go down on their girlfriends?”

“Oh my god, yes, Carl.  That is what I’m saying.” Plopping down on your back again, you grabbed his pillow and threw it at his face.  “Enough now.”

“Wow.” He still wasn’t done.  “You’ve dated some really fucking weird guys, Y/N.”  When you only responded with an eye roll, he finally allowed himself to lay back down beside you.  “But still, never had an orgasm?  That’s insane.  You’ve been deprived.”

Your eyes at last met his as you shot him a glare.  “Wouldn’t know.”

“It’s amazing.  Heavenly, almost.  Feels so good it’s almost indescribable.” Carl’s eyes glowed as he described the obviously incredible sensation you had never experienced.  “Wish I could help you out with this one.”  After realizing what he said, the boy let out an awkward cough as his eyes darted to the ceiling.

“Yeah, me too,” you murmured, your cheeks changing to match the current color of his.  Not wanting to make things too awkward, you cleared your throat and sat up.  “Okay, we’re done with this.  Now it’s time for me to kick your ass in Call of Duty.”

The topic was dropped and the rest of the night was spent playing video games and stuffing your faces with junk food, which were your usual activities.  But something was different.  There was a tension between the two of you that usually wasn’t there.  Every so often, you’d catch Carl staring at you, causing his eyes to immediately dart away whenever you noticed.  More than once, you’d both go to reach into the bowl of popcorn between you at the same time and your hands would brush and linger near each other for a few moments too long.  The typical banter you two always shared now almost appeared to be what it always had been but neither of you would admit: flirting.  Sleeping together had never been an issue for the two of you, but tonight it was much more difficult for you both to get comfortable – not too close or too far away from one another.  Spooning was never weird before, but tonight Carl seemed extra fidgety as you pressed your backside into him.  Still, neither of you addressed the change and eventually managed to drift off to sleep.

You felt like you were on top of the world.  In heaven.  Straight ecstasy.  What a dream.

Your eyes flew open but the feeling didn’t go away. Your legs began to tremble as you propped yourself up on your elbows.  “F-Fuck… Carl?”

The moment you spoke up, the blankets were pulled back from your stomach and Carl’s face became visible between your thighs.  He looked up at you, flashing you a smirk.  “Good morning.  Wasn’t sure you were ever gonna wake up.”  Without another word, he inserted two fingers inside of you and moved his face back between your legs, darting his tongue across your clit.

The sensation was too good that you hardly knew how to react. A gasp escaped your lips as you bucked your hips up toward his face, increasing the pressure.  It was in that moment that it started to dawn on you what was happening.  “W-Wait. F-Fuck, Carl.  S-Stop,” you breathed out, but you knew it wasn’t what you wanted.

Carl pushed your hips back down on the bed and resurfaced again, pushing his wavy hair out of his face.  A smirk formed on his lips again as his eyes glanced between your shaking thighs and your awe struck face.  “You really want me to stop?”

Without another word, you pushed his head back down, caving into the feeling that was taking over your body.  “Don’t stop,” you demanded, contradicting your previous statement and tangling your fingers into his messy hair.

Carl immediately began to move his fingers inside of you again, his lips moving around your clit as he began to suck and swirl his tongue around at the same time.  Your moans got louder, causing Carl to increase the speed of his fingers.  His tongue was now gliding up and down your clit, increasing the pressure each time he made it to the top.

That was all it took.  Your hips ground against his face and you tugged on his hair, your eyes closing tightly as you climaxed and came against his tongue.  

As the world spun around you, you felt Carl climb back up and take his spot beside you, propping himself up on his elbow.  While you recovered, you could feel him staring at you, his eyes filled with nothing but admiration.

When you were finally able to catch your breath, you rolled over onto your side to face him and raised an eyebrow at him, grinning.  “Wow.”

“Sorry I didn’t wait to ask for your permission, but you were kind of moaning my name in your sleep beforehand, so I saw it as the perfect opportunity,” he said with a chuckle.  After a moment, the smile fell from his lips and he rolled onto his back. He cleared his throat and bit down on his swollen lower lip.  “And, uh, I don’t know if it was just me, but something felt different between us yesterday and, um, yeah… Kind felt like all those repressed feelings finally started coming up or something… I don’t know.”

Shaking your head, you moved closer to the embarrassed boy, cuddling into his side.  “It wasn’t just you.”

A small smile formed on Carl’s lips before it transformed into a smirk.  “You know, I once read that in order to have an orgasm, you need to be physically attracted to the other person.”

Rolling your eyes, you pushed Carl onto his back and climbed on top of him, straddling his waist.  “Yes, I’m attracted to you.  I guess everyone was always right whenever they said that we couldn’t just be friends,” you confessed, raising an eyebrow at him as a bulge began to form through his pants.  “And I’m guessing the feeling is mutual.”

Carl’s cheeks darkened a bit, but the smirk remained on his lips.  “You’re right.  I don’t go down on just anyone… Recently, at least.”

“How could I ever repay you?” you flirted, leaning down and resting your forehead against his.  You could tell you had the upper hand for once from the way he swallowed the lump in his throat and stared at you with wide eyes.  “Remember that confession you shared with me yesterday?”

Carl furrowed his brow and gave you a questioning look. “The one where I shamefully told you I’ve never had sex?  Yeah, what about it?”  God was he slow sometimes.

Brushing your nose against his, you wrapped your arms around his neck.  “How would you feel about changing that?”

That was all it took for it to click in his head.  His eyes widened for a moment before he grabbed your hips and flipped you over so he was on top.  He flashed you a smirk before brushing his lips against yours.  

“I guess maybe we’ll be able to call it even then.”


———-


Once again, I’m new to the game on here so please let me know if you enjoy! xx

Dear healthy people

Please stop suggesting things that you think will cure me.

Yes i have tried yoga thanks, but nope sorry no help

Yes i have tried the special honey you gave me but again its not going to help.

Yes I have tried “wanting to get better” funnily enough most of my time is spent on making sure i don’t get ill or die, I do want to get better but its not like I’m going to get  better because i really want to.

Please understand that a progressive illness is just that progressive. It means I’m not going to get better, at all ever.

Thanks, annoyed person with a progressive illness.

If you’ve got persistent/chronic illnesses and/or fatigue, you have permission to be tired. You have permission to not get all the things done right now. You have your own time you do things within, and it is perfectly okay to take that time and move at your pace and rest when needed.

Even when things are going well and exciting stuff is happening! Even when you feel that now that things are taking a turn for the better, your energy and spoons should be going up too! You don’t have to recover and be full of energy automatically, you’re not lazy if you have to rest. If your bones and muscles say “nope” then it is okay for you to decide that it’s time to stop, regardless of how nice a day it is, regardless if it seems like the perfect time to do a given chore. Don’t feel obligated to spend your time on work just because you feel like you should be busy.

I am typing this to myself to make it click.