noooo thea ; ;

DM: Your blade is locked in a guarded cathedral. Because you are techniqually a demon, you cannot enter.

Thea: send in my bafoons.

DM: Richard Nixon, Gerard, Tin Man, how do you enter?

RN: (is a giant man bird) can I fly through the window?

DM: you crash through the window and now are hovering just over an enemy.

RN: ..can… Can I paint brush him?

Thea: no.

DM: *sighs* roll a D20

RN: *Rolls a 13*

DM: ….. You successfully paintbrush him in the most graceful way possible-


DM: BUT. But, as you do so, at the last moment, the enemy nips at your dick. You lose an inch.


Thea: well, there goes his entire penis.