which member wrote humanz
  • I Switched My Robot Off/Ascension: Russel
  • Strobelite: Noodle and 2-D
  • Saturnz Bars: Noodle and Russel
  • Momentz: Noodle
  • The Non-Conformist Oath/Submission: Noodle and Murdoc
  • Charger: 2-D
  • Elevator Going Up/Andromeda: 2-D
  • Busted and Blue: 2-D and Murdoc
  • Talk Radio/Carnival: Murdoc and Russel
  • Let Me Out: Russel
  • Penthouse/Sex Murder Party: Murdoc
  • She's My Collar: Murdoc and 2-D
  • The Elephant/Hallelujah Money: Russel and 2-D
  • We Got The Power: Murdoc and Noodle
  • New World/The Apprentice: 2-D
  • Halfway to the Halfway House: Murdoc
  • Out Of Body: Noodle
  • Ticker Tape: 2-D
  • Circle of Friendz: Noodle and 2-D
Lazy tips for Tofu

Tofu gets a bad rap, and really it’s undeserved. 

Yes, tofu tastes bad when you cook it badly, but then so does just about anything else. It’s just that we’re much more conditioned to be forgiving of bad chicken, bad cheese, etc. And at least tofu is unlikely to give you food poisoning if it’s under cooked.

Yes tofu takes some prep. But then, so do a lot of other foods. You pay more for convenience foods of many kinds because some of the work is done for you. But as far as a ‘raw ingredient’ goes, tofu is cheaper than many animal products, and when you compare it to the work involved with preparing any ‘raw ingredient’ it’s really not much different.

That being said, here’s a few ways to make dealing with tofu less effort


Pressing tofu is kind of an art - convincing the water to come out of the soy sponge without mushing it. This is an art I refuse to master. It’s up there with the art of eating gracefully, and ironing collars.

So I just freeze the tofu I buy. If I’m planning on using it in the next two days, I move it to the fridge. Somehow, some weird magical thing happens that makes recently defrosted tofu stronger, so you can basically squeeze out almost all the water in your hands without mushing it. This doesn’t work for silken tofu though - seriously. Don’t make the same mistake I did.

Another option, if you don’t care about the tofu being mushed up, is a clean tea towel, stick the tofu in there, wrap it up, and squeeze it that way.

Or don’t press it at all. This makes it less likely to absorb other flavours, but so long as you cook it enough it still tastes good.


To be honest, I almost never bother marinating tofu for any length of time. My idea of a marinade is to throw random stuff in a bowl, then stir in some cubes of tofu. If I’m really patient, I might last a couple of hours. Usually it’s a couple of minutes.

If you want to marinate tofu to make it taste like something specific, like the ham component of a hawaiian pizza, you can make the flavours soak in a lot faster by immersing the cubes/chunks/whatever in the marinate and baking it for about ten minutes. Shallow frying with about 1cm of oil in a pot also works (avoid marinades that have a strong powder component).

Super easy marinades

  • Vinegar, Salt, Soy sauce
  • Brewers yeast (sometimes called nutritional yeast), salt, tumeric, garlic, cumin, lemon juice, oil (if you’re feeling like reaching for the spice rack)
  • Mustard, Soy sauce, Sugar, Sesame seed oil or tahini (optional, because expensive)
  • Veggie stock
  • Basically any stir fry or pasta sauce you have lying around will do


The ways to cook tofu are pretty much endless. You can even have it raw if it works with the recipes. My favourite quick ways are;

Deep frying - It’s not really deep frying since you only need about a cm of oil in a pot. You want it to be pretty hot (but not smoking). You don’t even really need to press tofu if you’re cooking it like this, just squeeze it a bit over the sink. It’ll be crispier if you go hotter, softer if you go cooler. I often don’t flavour tofu before frying like this, I just have it with salt and maybe a little vinegar (seriously, it’s good) after. I’ve found it takes less than ten minutes to cook a bowl of nommy tofu bites. Probably not so healthy, but I’m prone to the odd treat now and then. I’ve found this also is a fast way to cook tofu that’s going to go in other things - like curries and stirfries.

Baking - If you don’t mind waiting for noms to cook (I go surf the net while I wait), you can just put whatever flavourings you want on the tofu (immersing it in veggie broth and baking is awesome too - thank you @theveganzombie), and throw it in the oven.

Shallow frying - I’ve found this takes a bit longer than I personally like, but it has its uses. If you’re frying tofu to go with other stuff, put it in first, even ahead of onions, and don’t be afraid to let it sit in the pan without being turned constantly, it’ll cook quicker if you only turn it every so often. If you want the tofu to still be crispy when you eat and you’re using a sauce, cook the tofu separately and add it at the end.


If you want nommy soy goodness straight from the fridge for sandwiches, salads, world domination, noodles, whatever, then you can make it up ahead of time, and see how long it lasts. 

I pretty much never bother to do this. The last time I made tofu bites to go on a pizza, it took all my willpower to allow even two thirds of them to actually make it to the pizza. Cooked tofu does not last long when it’s within my reach.

But if you have more self control than me it’s a good way to have teh noms on hand.


Fridge - Tofu has a long shelf life, it usually comes sealed. You can keep it in the fridge for a few days after opening so long as you immerse it in fresh water and keep it sealed. For tofu that’s been cooked, just keep it sealed.

Freezer - Unless I have reason to want the tofu soft and mushy, I tend to just freeze it, and take it out when I need it. If I need to defrost it fast I just stick it in a bowl of hot water, then add more hot water when it starts to cool. This is enough to get it to the point where I can cut it without any trouble.


NEW NOODLE ART‼️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Older Brother Mark

Requests: Heyyoo!! Can you do an older brother! Mark sometime :3

i dont feel bad lmao how about twin mark or twin chenle or twin renjun or twin jaemin - shinyeol-ie

  • guess who’s back with writing again after a month’s/or less of hiatus!!
  • okay not officially back yet but
  • i’ll be slowly getting back! so the ‘hiatus from writing’ will still be there in my bio/askbox but feel free to request still,, i’ll remove it once i post regularly again!
  • i wanted to write today because so many things have been on my mind lately and im a mess so i had to let it all go so im here writing!
  • so why not start it off with the person i love most in the world, margarie!!!
  • with an older brother! au
  • i did one with jeno & jaemin
  • enough of my nonsense, let’s start

  • how do we describe him

  • he can be the sweetest, most caring & most protective brother one could ever ask for
  • but at moments you feel like punching yourself because he’s like clueless 24/7 and he asks for you help with everything
  • back then when both of yall were 12, your parents had to leave the country for a business trip for a few days
  • and for some reason they trusted the both of you to stay at home and not cause any trouble
  • “mark, take good care of your sister we’ll be back soon”
  • “yes of course, dont worry!!”
  • two hours after they leave, he disappears into the kitchen for fifteen minutes
  • you hear a slight shout from him
  • then you see him going into your room with an embarrassed smile and giggle
  • “uhh, i may or may not have burnt our noodles-”
  • “god mark they’re INSTANT noodles, who in the world burns their instant noodles-”
  • “you cant blame me, i tried-”
  • “yeah sure, let’s just call in”
  • but he’s always there to help you out in school?
  • would lend you his notes even if you didnt ask
  • and would also specially find you at your classroom so he could pass you the lunch he packed for you
  • “mom asked me to give you this”
  • “mom? her sandwiches arent that-”
  • “shush fine it’s from me, tell mom i’ll be coming back late today, hanging out with the boys”
  • and like always, mr absolutely capable has tons of people around that admire him
  • your friends fangirl to you and often tell you how lucky you are he’s your brother
  • and they would always find ways to talk to him
  • or make you introduce him to them
  • your guy friends would try to hit you up so they could make friends with him
  • and you’re so used to it you dont even bother doing anything anymore
  • “he’s busy, he’s always busy, dont ask me”
  • would probably barge into your room in the middle of the night
  • to ask you for ideas for lyrics
  • or to tell you random and weird facts that he probably read online
  • or even just suggesting to watch a movie together because he was bored
  • never gets pissed & mad at you
  • in your whole life, probably only once or twice??
  • because he’s an angel
  • and they were over matters where he was concerned for you, so you couldn’t blame him for getting mad
  • like that one time he found out you skipped school just because you werent feeling your best and he got all worried after he heard from his classmate
  • he left school early just to find you
  • and thank goodness he found you at your favourite park just staring blankly
  • then he shouted at you for not telling him and making him worry, saying how he’s upset and scared that you had gotten in trouble
  • but as soon as he saw you cry
  • he’d soften and apologise for shouting
  • and become the sweetest brother ever!! he’d let you cry on his shoulders and listen to your problems
  • he even offered to treat you to your favourite ice cream?? aw
  • always complaining about the boys to you
  • mainly the dreamies
  • especially hyuck & chenle
  • on how they always tease him and make fun of him
  • and when you finally met them, you joined their squad™
  • hyuck & you would always plan pranks together and enjoy laughing at mark’s reactions
  • while the other members take care of you
  • “MARGARIE’S SISTER AYE” -jaehyoons
  • “Y/N ah, did you eat well today? do you want to stay for dinner?” -taeyong mom
  • “omg Y/N’s as cute as our mark!!” -mark’s number 1 fan, doyoung
  • very overprotective
  • like that one day he found out you were dating jaemin
  • (you couldn’t help it this boy was making your heart pump so quickly as if it was popping out of your chest)
  • “HYUNG CALM DOWN, we’ve been dating for 2 months already-”
  • “TWO? TWO??? oh my god i cant believe this, i feel so… betrayed”
  • “mark you’re overreacting”
  • “as if you’re against jaemin” “or are you omg”
  • “YOU COULD’VE PICKED JENO OR RENJUN BUT- jaemin? Y/N i dont know what to say”
  • “hyung am i that bad”
  • “no you’re not, it’s okay this is too much for me, i’ll talk to you all tomorrow”
  • 2 hours later you receive a text from him
  • “got to be honest here,, i fully support you and jaemin, this kid will take good care of you. i trust that and i trust him. i’m happy for you all”
  • and you get another text from jaemin
  • “babe!! hyung just came into my room and gave me a long talk, on all the things you like, your habits and all wow. he looks really happy about this matter though-much different to his reaction just now, is this a good sign?”
  • eventually he often brings you two out for lunch
  • and is always interested to hear stories or interesting things that happen between you two
  • aside from all that
  • he’s really supportive!
  • everything you do he’d give you positive feedback and give you encouraging words if you need it
  • because after all you both are siblings/twins, you have the same personality and he understands how you feel deeply so he tries his best to motivate you while he can
  • makes really bad jokes all the time
  • but you still laugh because hey, at least he’s trying
  • and he gets all giggly and confident after that
  • hypes you up A LOT
  • which is why hyuck always teases him about
  • “hyung you never do that to me”
  • “you’re not my sister”
  • “oh”
  • “kidding dont be mad”
  • “sorry cant talk right now”
  • all in all
  • he’s always bringing you happiness
  • and he’s also there to be your pillar of support
  • dotes on you a lot!!
  • even though you cant see it because he doesnt express himself well
  • but you know he cares and loves you
  • so you love and cherish him as a brother too!!

THIS IS LOVELY‼️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

bts as dads: knj

dad!bts au: kim seokjin | min yoongi | jung hoseok | kim namjoon | park jimin | kim taehyung | jeon jungkook

  • two sons, his little boys, the little stars that shine in his life
  • older son: kim korain, 5 years old; younger son: kim sungwa, 2 years old
  • namjoon is going to raise the sweetest, most intelligent, most well-rounded kids in the entire world
  • he understands that they’re kids but he doesn’t dumb things down to them he’s always earnest and explains things as thoroughly as he can
  • his little boys look at him like he hung the moon himself
  • he’s their number one role model, their idol, their confidant
  • imagine joon taking them on walks around seoul
  • he’s holding on to their hands and they’re on either sides of him and it’s so cute because joon is so tall in the middle and his boys physically have to look up to him
  • he’s the kind of dad the supports any and all of their endeavors and interests and hobbies he always encourages them to learn something new
  • he encourages them to always explore their feelings so these boys don’t shy aware from affection or believe in whatever social standards have been set for them at a young age
  • they’re gonna learn to just be themselves and love themselves you know
  • and joon is the best teacher for that
  • so they’re very hard working, curious, open-minded, level-headed little boys
  • yes they have his dimples so yes they’re the cutest kids you’ve ever seen
  • namjoon is basically a human totem pole for them
  • they’re always hanging on to them in some way
  • either piggy back rides
  • or him spinning them around
  • or randomly lifting them up
  • or sitting on his shoulders bc they’re tired or want to reach something on the shelf
  • mostly bc they love their dad but also because he’s 6’4 why wouldn’t they hang from his arm like it’s a monkey bar
  • imagine they find some old pictures of joon and try styling their hair like him rip
  • he’s so cringey when it happens but you can’t help but laugh
  • as long as they don’t get their hands on some hair dye then you’re ok
  • he’s probably the kind of dad that puts on an old white t-shirt and lays on the ground and let’s his kids draw all over his back or drive their toy cars on him or something cute like that
  • if you thought namjoon had an overgrown collection of ryan plushies then you have not seen his kids
  • he smothers them in plushies
  • plushies for their birthdays
  • plushies after their piano recitals
  • plushies after he comes back from tour/promos
  • plushies just for the heck of it
  • he loves giving them plushies
  • they’re such soft boys so they love it too
  • um if you think his sons don’t become a part of kimdaily then you’re wrong
  • definitely puts the boys in matching outfits
  • sometimes they just match with each other bc joon feels like making them look extra stylish (watch out yoongi)
  • but sometimes he likes to match with them and that’s when the special edition kimdailycubed posts emerge
  • ofc you’re the photographer behind it
  • he probably raises his kids to learn to appreciate the little things in life even from a young age
  • so even when there’s the smallest of events or anniversaries in the house the boys are always willing to celebrate
  • i definitely see joon’s oldest getting along with either jin’s kid or yoongi’s daughter
  • joon loves taking you all out on little family events even if it’s super small he just likes having his family together
  • he loves you guys more than anything and loves you guys more than anything
  • so lots of little family cafe dinners or picnics in the park or walks to the river
  • might even take you all to things like live music shows or plays that others might deem too “mature” for kids but joon doesn’t because his boys are so curious and love to learn
  • at least one of them probably takes up after joon’s interest in music
  • whenever he brings them to the studio though, they’re always so energetic and lively, bouncing off the walls
  • not too much into the recording aspect of it all but love love love learning about the soundboard and what all the buttons do
  • try so hard to remember everything their taught to impress their dad
  • love their dad’s music so so much
  • when joon’s birthday comes around they ask you and uncle yoongi to help them make him a song because they love him so much and want to show him how much they appreciate him
  • and his oldest uses the little lyrics he wrote down and the whole thing sounds like a children’s poem with the sickest bass ever in the background (thanks yoongi and hobi) but its the sweetest cutest most adorable thing ever
  • namjoon cries on the spot and hugs them for six days straight
  • and it makes them so happy because
  • they’re so proud of their dad and now their dad is proud of them!!
  • his number one fans
  • next to you of course
  • *screams* UNCLE JIN
  • easily their favorite uncle
  • uncle jin always lets them stir the batter when they make cake and always lets them be his taste testers when he’s cooking and uncle jin makes the best noodles in the world why wouldn’t he be their favorite uncle
  • and uncle jin is tall like their dad so he’s human totem pole #2
  • jin also loves being their favorite uncle because they laugh at his jokes
  • ok but other than uncle jin, you best believe uncle tae is earned a permanent spot in their hearts
  • uncle tae is also the driving force behind kimdailycubed outfits and if tae can’t get his own kids to be gucci models then he’ll do it joon’s
  • namjoon is also for once thankful for tae’s unresting addiction to the cyphers because that video he sent of his little boys dancing around trying to say all the lyrics to cypher part 4 is easily one his favorite things in the whole world
  • i have this head canon that joon reads them to sleep every night
  • and when joon can’t be there he facetimes them from wherever he’s been traveling and their faces light up so much when they see him on the screen
  • loves watching them fall asleep to the sound of his voice
  • sometimes when he comes home late from the studio he sees korain reading sungwa to sleep
  • and that warms his heart so much he smiles so big and his dimples are showing
  • loves that his boys take care of each other and that his family is so close and loves each other so much
  • and i feel like the bedtime stories is something they even look forwards to even when they get a little older because they know their dad is always there for them at the end of the day with a good story, a soft smile, and a sweet kiss to the forehead

anonymous asked:

How would the band members react to their first child being born or just interacting with their new little baby with their S/O and being head over heels in love with their baby? btw I'm in love with all of your imagines )

im in love with u how about them apples

thx btw

Murdoc Niccals:

  • His fears about being a terrible father are washed away when he sees his newborn daughter, swaddled and being held by yours truly.
  • Murdoc has always messed up in life, but when he holds your child, he feels something that he has never felt before.
  • “Mudz, this is your little girl.”
  • “I’ll make sure nothing ever happens to her.”
  • “What?” Looking you straight in the eyes, you see tears start welling up in his as he blinks, looking back down to his daughter.
  • “I will never fuck up again.”
  • “Murdoc, not around the baby.”
  • “Oh, shit-”
  • Murdoc!


  • Throughout the entire birthing process, Stu made more noise than you did.
  • he got freaked out when you started crowning, he screeched, noodle has it on tape
  • When the baby is finally birthed, Stu starts crying when the doctor claims that it’s a girl.
  • “Stu, are you okay?”
  • “S-s-she’s s-so beautiful! She d-doesn’t look like either of us, but maybe o-our next one will!”
  • Next one?
  • yeah ok stu boy u try poppin a melon out of your bagina see how u like it
  • 2D would be very happy for the rest of his days. He loves holding the baby, even if he never supports her head.
  • “Stu, you’re not holding the baby’s head.”
  • *eating chips and guac w/ baby in arms* “Wha’?

Russel Hobbs:

  • He would be completely overjoyed that you and him had your first kid together.
  • When the two of you find out that it’s a boy, Russ is so giddy with excitement but looks pretty calm and collected, nevertheless.
  • He was holding your hand throughout the entire birthing process. He never cared that you squeezed his hand harder than a stress ball, either.
  • When you get to hold the baby for the first time, Noodle takes a quick picture of the two of you and your new son.
  • “Hobbs family +1 new baby boy ❗❗❗ welcome to the world!
  • “Noodle, stop posting pictures on Snapchat–”
  • *close up on russ’s face*  “Noodle, stop posting pictures on Snapchat–” *caption* “make me big boi”
  • help me

Noodle: she gay haha

  • When you birth your first son, you can almost see the highlight in Noodle’s eyes as she bends down besides you to see your son.
  • “Oh my god… He looks so fragile–
  • Noodle would probably be the parent to say up for a whole 2 days, just staring at the baby intently while you fell asleep this was basically my mom i love her so much god bless moms and dads everywhere
  • She would be the one taking pictures and videos when you were having your kiddo, as well as taking pictures of the baby when he’s all bundled up and whatnot.
  • Whatever you needed, she would get it for you. Noodle would take care of the baby when you needed rest, she would go out and get you food if you wanted, and most definitely wouldn’t take a shower until the two of you were home ew.


don’t u mean benis

not be sentimental but honestly namjoon is the softest sweetest tall noodle in the world like he never loses an opportunity to do more and do better even when things are hard for him and he never forgets to appreciate anyone for the things he has or forgets where he started like he’s always thanking fans for being by his side and acknowledges how important they are to him and is constantly ???? praising n loving n supporting every single member ??????? not to mention that he keeps re-evaluating both himself and his life decisions and what path he’s on and whether he’s happy with life and he fucks up a lot and he learns from it and acknowledges his mistakes n grows and he’s dorky n tall n soft n smart n ethereal n beautiful n sometimes when he’s shy the tips of his ears get red n he can’t look up n i just really really really love kim namjoon