noodle-arm

Automatic Can Opener

Stop wasting your time trying to open jars and cans with those puny noodles you call arms – because now you can employ the services of the automatic can opener and easily pop up the top of your favorite foods while weeping over your diminutive physique.

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Epic Things To Buy

radiodwarf12  asked:

buttons meet one of them newfangled protectrons with a wig, tricorner hat, and improvised wooden peg leg. "Yarrr Matey. Captain Ironsides of the U.S.S. Constitution sends ye a humble missive and a powder monkey's outfit. Report to the bally vessel as soon as possible. we need a young scallawag in a sailor suit carrying canon balls around"

HINT: it cannot.

JESUS TAKE THE WHOLE GODDAMN CAR-EY THIS BIH IS coming in here looking like a cot DAMN COTTON CANDY PINK FAIRY PRINCESS WITH THAT BEAUTIFULLY LONG FULL PASTEL PINK SKIRT. THIS BIH IS ASSAULTING ME ON ALL FRONTS I SENSE-H8 HER. LIKE GODDESS BLESS LOOK AT HER NOODLE ARMS AND THAT TINY TINY MIDRIFF. SO MODEST. SO RISQUE. SO FASHION FORWARD.

OH MY GOD FUCKING LOOK AT HER, SHES BLESSING ALL THESE BIHS IN THIS PHOTO LIKE FUCJING MOTHER THERESA SURROUNDED IN AN ETHEREAL HALO OF LIGHT. THAT PURE WHITE BABY CROP TOP IS A PERFECT FIT FOR THE PERFECT FIT AND I AM ALIVE. MY CROPS ARE THRIVING, MY ANIMALS ARE SATIATED, MY CHILDREN HAVE BEEN BAPTIZED IN THE HOUSE OF THE FATHER, THE SON, AND ADC WITH HER HEAVENLY GLOW.

??????????????? ARE U FUKN RIGHT NOW? BITCH NO THIS IS A SCENE AND ITS A COTDAMN RED CARPET EVENT AND THIS BIH SHOWS UP IN SMOKING CHERRY RED HEELS CAUSE SHE IS ~ELEVATED~ AND DONT YOU FORGET THAT MUSTARD GOLD BAG WITH THE GOLD ACCENTS AKA ADC ROCKIN HER FAVE FALL COLOR EVERY HOUR EVERY DAY EVERY WEEK OF THE YEAR. FUCK PANTONE, ITS ALL ABOUT THAT MUSTARD GOLD AND SHE IS ON TOP OF THAT SHIT LIKE KING KONG. BLESS TF UP AND HALLE-ALYCIA.