A thought on making difference ok

One issue with accommodations and modifications in school, is that it can often be hard to avoid stigma. Kids don’t usually like being singled out or doing things conspicuously differently. Also, nondisabled kids often resent it when disabled kids are allowed to do things that they are not allowed to do.

Further, one frequent objection to accommodations is “but if I let one kid do this, then all the other kids will want to.”

Sometimes that’s true — and, often, the best solution to that problem is to just let all the kids do whatever the thing is. Sometimes there’s no good reason to restrict access to something. Sometimes changing the rule works better than making exceptions to it.

One way that something works to correct this problem is to make some of their accommodations available to other kids who would like to try them. The kid who has a documented need for accommodations probably isn’t the only one who would benefit from them.

And even aside from that, it’s good for kids to explore the world and experiment with different ways of doing things. This is a good way to learn that difference is normal, and that doing things differently is a basic fact of life.

For instance, if one kid needs to use manipulatives for math, maybe try making manipulatives available to all the kids.

If one kid needs a large print worksheet, maybe make a few large print copies and let kids try doing it that way.

If one kid needs to chew stuff, maybe make things available for other kids to chew.

If one kid needs to use fidget toys, maybe make them available to all the kids who would like to try it.

If one kid needs to type, and you have the resources to make that available to other kids too, maybe let them try doing assignments that way. And let the kids that works better for continue to do it.

And, beyond that, it helps to get in the habit of providing different ways to do things even when there isn’t a kid who needs them as a specific accommodation.

Not in the sense of “take a walk in the disabled kid’s shoes”, this is not a disability simulation. The point shouldn’t be empathy building, and it should not be presented as being about the disabled kid. The message is “there are a lot of legitimate ways to do things, and it’s ok to experiment and figure out what works for you, even if most people don’t do it the same way as you”.

You can’t always do this, and you can’t always do this for everything. When you can, it helps, a lot.

J'ai detest....

I sometimes detest the idea of the future. I went to a job fair today and I got so overwhelmed I wanted to run screaming from the place.

I also hate the fact that nobody wants me as an employee just because I can’t stand for long periods of time. I found so many jobs I’d be so happy to have, but they all require me to stand. It makes me want to cry.

What am I going to do if I’m stuck like this? How can I support my family and keep us afloat if I can’t get a job? It already sucks that I can’t go to the gym but now I can’t even hold a well paying job because of the same reason. I miss my life I had. I want to be alive and free. I miss school. I miss work. I miss having a purpose. How can I prove to myself I’m not worthless if I can’t find something I can do that’s worth wild.

Talking with the doctor, I discovered I’m not conceited disabled, so I just have to find a job that I sit at. Great, where the hell am I going to find that in the poduct I live in? Ugh. It make everything even more horrible.

act disabled, show that you’re mentally ill, and inconvenience others by being non-neurotypical as a powerful act of resistance against assimilation

refuse “treatment” that seeks to change your thoughts, behaviour, and way of experiencing reality to be more like nondisabled, neurotypical people as a powerful act of resistance against assimilation

it’s easy to forget sometimes that nondisabled people aren’t disabled. i mean, to start comparing myself bc they just talk about their normal selves in a normal way and dont say things like “im NT and able bodied so xyz thing presents only these moderate-to-nonexistent challenges” and disability is normal to me and im like dang… i suck, im not trying hard enough… But then im like Hey Wait a sec

honestly accessibility and critical analyses of beauty standards and productivist notions of ~*usefulness*~ and ~*strength*~ are the bare minimum

i want a feminism that unpacks how strides made for nondisabled people with marginalized gender identities were made at the expense of disabled people

i want acknowledgement that as nondisabled people with marginalized gender identities escaped from abusive institutions that pathologized their natural ways of thinking, feeling, and functioning, disabled people remained in these institutions, and many still do, with no support for the goal of living independently regardless of how very possible that goal should be

i want a reproductive rights politic that does not shy away from the fact that the abortion rights we have today were gained by the promotion of the idea that disabled lives are not worth living, while disabled people continue to be denied the same advances in reproductive rights granted to nondisabled people. 

i want a feminism not just tolerant of, but about disabled people. that’s what i want.

"Physical handicaps are made the emblems of evil… . Giving disabilities to villainous characters..."
“Physical handicaps are made the emblems of evil… . Giving disabilities to villainous characters reflects and reinforces, albeit in exaggerated fashion, three common prejudices against handicapped people: disability is a punishment for evil; disabled people are embittered by their “fate”; disabled people resent the nondisabled and would, if they could, destroy them. In historic and contemporary social fact, it is, of course, nondisabled people who have at times endeavored to destroy people with disabilities. As with popular portrayals of other minorities, the unacknowledged hostile fantasies of the stigmatizers are transferred to the stigmatized.”

- Death, Disability, and the Superhero: The Silver Age and Beyond (via genoshaisforlovers) Holy shit i just realized the villain cane connection.not cool(via hollowedskin)

from Edward the Booble

nondisabled parents of disabled children deserve this so fucking much like i stg i would do it just because they said the word “behaviours”
Dis/Identification with Disability Advocacy: Fraternity Brothers Fight against Architectural Barriers, 1967–1975

This article addresses how nondisabled people identify with and become disability advocates and how this identification can also fail to occur. The advocacy work of a group of fraternity brothers in the late 1960s highlights both the local successes that personal connections to disability offer and the shortcomings of large-scale advocacy efforts that lack meaningful engagement with disabled groups. Situated histories of advocacy offer models for how we can build and sustain solidarity across difference, craft more inclusive understandings of accessibility and disability, and engage more thoughtfully in our advocacy work.

A nondisabled man who asked the state to help him take his life would get suicide-prevention counseling, but McAfee had not been considered rash or even depressed.  Instead, a judge had praised him as sensible and brave.

What does it say about me that my automatic response to this chapter so far has been “oh, the class discussion on this is gonna be terrible”?

i just don’t know how you can disagree with me when i say that your existence is tragedy and i want to help make it a reality that people like you are a thing of the past?? i’m such a good ally???
—  nondisabled people