non-maternity

116.

“Little princess is all tucked up,” Bucky hears as soon as he opens the door, drained and disappointed and smelling of perfume. “No toys broken, no bones either, only one of us ate soap and sadly it wasn’t short stuff.”

He snorts out a laugh, kicking his fancy shoes off to lie beside Clint’s purple sneakers. He should keep em on, should offer to drive him home, but they both know he’s gonna end up crashing on the sofa anyhow.

“Why’m I sensing a ‘but’?”

“Cos mine’s just that good,” Clint says. “It has an aura.”

Bucky walks into the living room, pulling off his tie, but his hand freezes when he sees Clint’s face.

“What the fuck happened?”

See, people (Steve) had said he was crazy to be hiring on Tasha’s weird veteran roommate as a babysitter. People (mostly Steve) said they weren’t sure he could be trusted, said - painfully honest - that maybe, with what he’d been through, with what he’d seen -

People, in Bucky’s opinion, were hypocrites who should shut their damned mouths.

So he doesn’t worry for a second when he sees the red skin around Clint’s eye that promises bruises, the crusted blood above his eyebrow. Bucky’s little bit had loved him as soon as she set eyes on him and Clint had handed over his heart in return; Bucky is sure as hell that Clint would rather die than let anything happen to her.

“There was an Incident,” Clint says.

“Before or after you ate some soap?”

Clint looks thoughtful. “Kinda concurrent. The soap was for the pop-up pirate.”

“What,” Bucky says, and Clint looks sheepish.

“Don’t knock it, the thing got *air*.”

“You’re a fuckin’ idiot,” Bucky mutters. He walks over to Clint, brushes his fingers gently over the skin around his eye, looking at it like a concerned parent for all of the second it takes for Clint’s pupil to widen further in the dim lamp light. For the second it takes to register their closeness, to remember that his little bit’s not the only one to lose their fuckin’ heart to this asshole. Bucky swallows, hard, and Clint licks his lips.

“Gonna kiss it better?” He says.

anonymous asked:

how good are you at physically speaking your non-maternal languages (i guess japanese is the only conversational one)? i ask because i live in quebec so i can read, write, and understand french super well, but despite speaking it for 15+ years my mouth can never quite make the right shapes and it all sounds pretty bad

well see, while french is an incredibly fucked language to pronounce, japanese is literally just a basic set of syllables that are always pronounced the same way and just rearranged to form every word in the japanese language. and also there’s no stressed syllables or anything, or sing-song-y pitch changes the way there are in english (like how some sounds are stressed/emphasized by being elongated and shifting pitch)

so id say im decent at speaking it just cuz its a pretty easy language to get the hang of, but i probably definitely have traces of american accent & also i stumble over my words a lot when i try to talk quickly so like, its by no means smooth.

anonymous asked:

1) Woah. *Sighs* I recently saw a post in which the OP (SK lover, duh) was not even questioning if Sakura was the real mother of Sarada, they were completely acting as if it had been confirmed that Karin was the real mom, not Sakura. They were saying that, while Sasuke protected Sarada with his body as a result of the paternal instinct, Sakura, the "adoptive mother", didn't have maternal instincts and that this is why she didn't protect Sarada from the army of Shins with her body in ch. 9 & 10.

2) Sakura DID immediately ask Sarada to stay behind her, even though Sakura was really injured and could barely move. After that, how could have Sakura protected Sarada considering that Sarada herself decided to jump in front of her and punch the ground in order to protect her mother? All of this happened in the blink of an eye! All Sakura could do during those moments was watch her daughter and be amazed. She was so surprised to realise that Sarada inherited her good control over chakra.


Yep, Sakura was absolutely exhausted from her battle with Shin, as she was seen panting and even wobbling and struggling to sat on her feet. Yet, her non-existent maternal instincts still took over and she told Sarada to stay behind her, because she wanted to protect her beloved daughter:

But it’s as you said, Sarada took the matter into her own hands, and decided on her own to ignore her mother’s words, because she could see how much she was struggling, and she wanted to now protect her:

Lol, you know, I was gonna say something along the lines of

“it’s not Sakura’s fault that Sarada is such a stubborn and headstrong girl”

But then I quickly realised that yeah, it actually kind of is her fault, considering that Sarada gets that trait from Sakura herself! :D

Because after all, Sakura is her mother, “through and through” ^_^

Madison is an abuser. I don’t care what you think about Troy, but she exploited his need for for a non-abusive maternal figure, manipulated him for her own gain, and when he was starting to head on the right path, she snaps and kills him. The look on his face after the first hit made me sad tbh. Things were going well for him. He made friends with Nick, thought he was close with Madison and then BOOM… gets hit in the head with a hammer by that stale and terrible lady.

The mastermind behind yesterday’s surprise baby shower, my lovely friend Clare. It’s been a good couple of years for us both, going to each other’s baby showers, lending tiny baby clothes back and forth and enjoying motherhood. Roll on a few months though when I can leave Miss P snuggled with her Daddy, put on non maternity clothes and go gaga on the bubbles with her! 💖👌🏻🍾 http://ift.tt/2zxaroM

Analysis || Shinji and Misato, the New Century Oedipus and Electra :||

To celebrate the milestone of 1000 followers for this blog, we’re offering you a detailed analysis post about the similarities two of the most loved main characters of Neon Genesis Evangelion, Shinji Ikari and Misato Katsuragi, share with two tragic, old and yet immortal dramatic characters, two protagonists of many plays and famous books, symbols of both modern philosophy and ancient Greek theater productions: Electra and Oedipus.

We can’t talk about them, though, if we don’t know what their story is about before - their legend, often matter of school studies too.  Let’s start with maybe the most complex character, that shares great analogies with out favorite insecure pilot: Oedipus, often considered one of the most famous (or maybe infamous) protagonists of Greek mythology.

THE MYTH

The loved king and queen of Thebes, Laius and Jocasta, were good and right rulers. One day, the king asked the oracle of Delphi (a sort of fortune-teller gifted by the Sun God Apollo) if the queen would have soon given him a heir - and unfortunately the oracle had a very clear answer for him: the magician reccomanded the king not to have a baby with the queen, since the child would have grown up to be a calamity for the city of Thebes and its people. As if it wasn’t enough: the oracle also predicted that the boy would have killed his own father and sexually joined his mother.
Laius never forgot the horrible prophecy and - after some time - when the queen Jocasta gave birth to a boy, he took the newborn baby and abandoned him on a hill, thinkiing animals or criminals would have done the rest; before leaving him though, Jocasta pierced the soles of the baby’s feet with two nails.

However, a shepherd named Forba - allerted by the cry - found the baby and took it to another city, Corinth. The king of Corinth, Polybus, couldn’t have children with his wife and Forba happily offered him the infant. There, Polybus gave him the name Oedipus - which literally means “swollen feet”.

Years passed and Oedipus grew strong and vigorous, surrounded by so much love. But one day, during a banquet, a young prince mentioned how Oedipus was a foundling welcomed into the king’s palace. At those words Oedipus decided ask the oracle of Delphi to know the truth of his origins. The only thing he got to know was that his return to Thebes would have been a tragedy of some sort. 
Angry and outraged, the boy didn’t return to the palace and started travelling the world, seeking for a place to stay. 
On the way, Oedipus came to a place where three roads crossed each others. There he encountered a chariot driven by his birth-father, Laius. They fought over who had the right to go first and Oedipus killed Laius when the charioteer tried to run him over. 

Bad luck wanted that he reached the doors of Thebes, one day; there he met a monster, sent by Hera, a goddess: a sphinx that killed and ate all the men who wanted to enter Thebes but that couldn’t answer her riddle -  “What walks on four legs in the morning, two legs in the afternoon, and three legs in the evening?”. Oedipus knew the answer and replied with “A man” - killing the monster and saving the city. 
He became the hero of Thebes and Jocasta, the just widowed queen, fell in love with the boy. They married and had four children, fullfilling the ancient prophecy. After the marriage though, a great plague started decimating the population of the city. The oracle was questioned again and confirmed that the pestilence would have stopped when the killer of Laius had left the city and exiled.. Panicked, Oedipus called another very old magician to his palace that finally explained him the truth about his origins and parents; the boy also understands he killed his father, Laius, on his way to Thebes.

Jocasta tried to convince the magician that her baby had died years and years ago. But, as she saw the soles of Oedipus’s feet - still with the signs of having been pierced - she fell into despair and shame. The queen of Thebes killed herself and Oedipus escaped the city and its anger.

EVERY CHILD IS A LITTLE OEDIPUS

Sigmund Freud often mentioned these words when referring to very young male children. It’s not unusual to see small boys being overly attached to their mothers, after all - but what does a baby boy thinks of his mother? And what about the father? This led to the formulation of the so-called “Oedipus Complex”.

The Oedipus complex occurs during the phallic stage of someone’s psychosexual development (3-6 years old) and it’s later repressed into the unconscious of the boy. It also seems to lead into the formation of both Ego and Libido - so it seems to be pretty a crucial step for children’s minds. The irrational competition with the father for the possession of the mother, the awareness of their own bodies, the understending of the differences between male and female bodies and the curiosity that leads them to often undress for fun… all these (and many more) features and sensations seem to occur around the phallic stage of a child. It’s being said that the love for a mother is even more complicated to explain, because it actually begins right after a baby is born, with the oral stage - where the baby finds pleasure by drinking milk from his mother’s breasts.

The mother remains the parent who primarily gratifies the male child’s desires, Freud said, as a first source of libidinal energy for a little boy. This leads the child to be jealous, most of the time, of his father; that would explain why little boys often wish to sleep together - innocently - with their mother, or to follow them into the bathroom. Moreover, to facilitate the desired exclusive union with the mother, the boy’s Id ( uncoordinated instinctual trends ) wants to kill his own father.
At the same time, though, the boy fears the adult male presence of his father. The Ego ( rational thoughts ) of the child prevents him from practically killing the hated parent; he knows that the father is the stronger of the two males competing to possess the woman.  Nonetheless, the boy remains ambivalent about his father’s place in the family, and often manifests the so-called fear of castration by the physically greater father; the fear is an irrational, subconscious manifestation of the infantile Id.

The resolution of the Oedipus complex is important for development of the the male infantile Super-ego: by identifying with a parent, the boy internalizes Morality, choosing to comply with societal rules, rather than reflexively complying in fear of punishment.

THE CASE OF SHINJI IKARI

Some critics have recognised how much Evangelion’s story can resemble the famous Oedipus myth. It’s easy to find various analogies with the series.
Shinji - just like Oedipus, can be called a “son of a prophecy”. If the Secret Dead Sea Scrolls had predicted the Third Impact and the arrival of the Angels, then, they also predicted the arrival of Shinji too, in some way. Or at least, his destiny was programmed even when he was too young to understand it: Yui knew, after all, how much her son would have suffered for a greater good.

It’s easy to understand how Oedipus is similar to Shinji by looking a the different paternal figures the two boys had. King Laius, who thought abandoning his only son and leaving him to die would have gone against the fullfillment of the propechy, was killed by his own son for a quirk of fate. Oedipus didn’t know the man he killed on the road was his biological father. 
Shinji, on the other hand, is well aware of who his father is. From the moment he abandoned him as a child, Shinji started feeling like an unwanted human being and the anger and hate he feels for Gendo are indeed some of the results of Gendo leaving his son growing up with a teacher/his uncles in the manga. But there’smore… as Shinji soon starts “competing” for Rei’s attentions, going against his own father: from the moment he notices Rei talking and smiling to Gendo in private, he starts trying to get the girl’s attention; of couse, we know who Rei Ayanami really is and we clearly remember the famouse episode…

SHINJI:  Oh, when we were cleaning room today, you were wringing the floorcloth… to me you looked like a mother.
REI:  A mother?
SHINJI:  Yeah, that was just like the mother’s way of wringing. I bet you’ll become a housewife.

Shinji couldn’t have known, at that time, how painfully true his words were being. In fact, he only discovers the truth about his mother and Rei during the last scene of episode 23, and that only leaves him more angry and confused than ever. Let’s remember though that Shinji never felt true sexual attraction for Rei Ayanami, rappresentation of the non-carnal pure “maternal” love, the Eros (with Asuka being the sexual impulse of both love and death, Thanatos) for Shinji’s heart and mind.

Yet, that still remains a sort and form of attraction. And it doesn’t stop Shinji from hating his father even more. Both Gendo and his son, competing for the love of the “woman”… a clear yet insane example of the famous “Complex”.
In Shinji’s mind, while Yui appears as an angelic being caressing his cheeks - with very fair and long hair and a perfect body - Gendo is often depicted as a disproportionately tall man, with flashing angry eyes and sometimes skin of different innatural colors.

Is the the fear of castration - Freud often mentioned - present in Shinji? Well, he isn’t a baby anymore but in the series he is, without any doubt, a teenager stuck into the “oral stage” he never truly resolved, because of the trauma of Yui’s death when he was barely 3. Still, the desire of killing the hated father has often taken adavantage of Shinji’s mind and thoughts. These primal impulses are very common in our protagonist - and often destructive too: from the time he tried to escape Tokyo-3 alone, to the moment he chose to masturbate in front of the comatose Asuka (and still, this wan’t a real impulse… he had the time to lock the door, probably doing something to the camera and then dress her up again).
Some examples: after Toji was injuried, Shinji tried to destroy the pyramid of the Geofront, in the manga he also tried punching Gendo after being hospitalized and being called to his office… always in the manga, in a nightmare, he even manages to kill his father. And finally Gendo himself confesses to Shinji how much he came to hate his son for the love of Yui. Is Gendo another kind of “Oedipus”? Well, we can’t consider his words fully honest, if we look at the last chapters of Sadamoto’s work anyway.

In conclusion: the desire to kill the father for the love of the mother is very present in Shinji’s case… sometimes it appears as a latent feeling, sometimes not. The sort of Oedipus Complex Shinji has for Rei is not entirely real or wrong, considering he doesn’t feel sexual attraction for the blue-haired pilot. Yet, he is seen associating Rei to his mother and that’s what brings him to enter the “competition” for her attention.

THE MYTH

You remember the tale of Troy, no? Well, princess Electra was the daughter of queen Clytemnestra and king Agamemnon, the one who actually fought the Trojan War. Their palace was located in the city of Mycenae, where Electra and her brother Orestes grew up along with their mother - waiting for Agamemnon to return from war.

As we know, the Greek forces won over Troy and that meant the king of Mycenae could have finally returned to his kingdom, after ten years of absence. But meanwhile Clytemnestra, the queen, had fallen in love with her own cousin Aegisthus, after having being seduced by the man - and forgetting the love she felt for her rightful husband.
So when the king returned home safe and sound, the queen and Aegisthus began plotting his death; some versions of the myth also say that Clytemnestra still couldn’t forgive her husband for another crime: Agamemnon had sacrificed their eldest daughter Iphigenia to the gods to assure himself a good war and fortune. First the queen and her lover killed Cassandra, the war prize the king had bought with him (a fortune-teller that had already given birth to two bastard twins), and then managed to assassinate the King with poison.

The city fell into panic and despair and Orestes and Electra, both barely teenagers, were sent to Athens to live in the house of a distant relative of theirs. The siblings never parted and stayed there for a couple of years. After some time, the sister convinced the brother to return to Mycenae to visit the tomb of their father.
The two secretly entered the city and arrived to the resting place of Agamemnon. It’s being said the poor girl’s desperate cry were so loud and painful to hear ( an ancient greek tradition says that, at a funeral, the girls would have cried, screamed, pulled off their hair and scratched their cheeks - moistened by tears ) that even Orested was brought into tears. Desperate for the death of the loved and awaited father, Electra convinced Orestes to plot against their own mother, and their stepfather.

Clytemnestra - who had no problems admitting of having killed her husband and that was now ruling the kingdom with his lover - recognised the two siblings who came to avenge their father’s death. Electra killed their mother, Orestes their stepfather. Before dying though, the queen cursed both of her sons; Orestes, in particular, would have been forever tormented by Furies, whose duty it is to punish any violation of the ties of family piety while Electra lived ther rest of her life in misery with a shepherd.

THE ELECTRA COMPLEX

As explained for the male counterpart of the Complex, a child who grows up in a family with both a mother and a father, should feel greater attachment to the parent of the opposite sex. Freud and Jung explained that even little girls behave like Electra, by loving the father way more than the mother. The resoultion of the complex happens when the child identifies him/herself with the parent of the same gender.

Just like the Oedipus one, the Electra complex occurs in the third—phallic stage (ages 3–6) of the psychosexual development stages. Of course Freud explains how castration anxiety is absent in the girl, that actually feels what is called the “penis envy” once she starts understanding the differences between the male and female bodies.
He says that to form a discrete sexual identity (Ego) a girl’s decisive psychosexual experience is in fact the daughter–mother competition for possession of the father; when a little girl’s initial attachment to her mother ensd with the discovering that she has a body similar to hers; she then transfers her “libidinal desires” and attachment to her father, increasing what it’s supposed to be the so-called “sexual competition” with her mother.  

THE CASE OF MISATO KATSURAGI

Misato doesn’t like talking about her father too much and the audience is led to think, by her first sentences, that the girl actually hates him. This is not entirely correct: as we enter Misato’s deepest and most private thoughts in the last two episode of the series or in the End of Evangelion, we can understand how much she - especially as a little girl - seemed to both love and hate his father.

Misato blames him of loving too much his work, of having abandoned her mother (”who always cries”) and of having never understood his own daughter. Still, she can’t forget how that man, so obsessed with his work, that 13th September 2000, chose to sacrifice himself to protect and save from certain death Misato. The sign, the silver cross he gives her before being erased from the world, a testimony… a proof of strenght and paternal love in this case - that Misato is always seen wearing and often clutching againt her chest in some dramatic moments…
The loss of her paternal figure soon leads the girl to years of mutism and catatonic state, from which she seems to recover before completing her studies and entering university. Did Misato avenged her father? Ritsuko knew well that Misato’s enthusiasm in fighting Angels can be considered her “revenge”, even though Misato firmly denies such motives.

Misato fell in love only with only one man: Ryouji Kagi, a boy she met in her univeristy years. This relationship lasted some years, the two really were in love. Until…

MISATO: I am sorry that I insisted to separate at that time. I told you that I had another one to love, yet it was a lie. Did you find that?
RYOUJI: No.
MISATO:  I found that you had something that resembled to my father. I was looking for the appearence of my father. When I found that, I feared. I feared everything. I feared to be with you. I feared to be a woman. I feared everything. Although I’d hated my father, I happened to love a man looking like my father. To forget everything, I joined NERV, which, however, was an institute at that my father had been. I have been illuding myself to revenge him fighting the Angels. I tried to escape… to escape my father’s curse! I’m a coward!

We never get to see Dr. Katsuragi’s face. In some scenes and flashbacks he appears as a tall man with long dark hair tied in a little ponytail - exactly how the adult Kaji is seen thoughout the series by Shinji and the others. If Misato’s words are true, then the spy really resembled her deceased father and that was - for her - one of the reasons why she actually fell in love with him years before the story takes place, during their college years. Also, the shame of recognizing of being attracted to a man who resembled her father that much is what brought Misato to end her relationship with the boy.

But what about her “revenge”? What role Kaji has in her plan against the Angels?
Can Kaji’s character be associated with Agamemnon, the father figure?
For Misato, probably not. 
In a play about Electra and her tragic story, a scene very similar to the one we see at the end of episode 21 takes place: the princess Electra receives a message informing her of her beloved brother Orestes’ death. The girl starts crying and sobbing without control in front of a handmaiden and a young servant before the ashes of Orestes are given to her; at that confirmation, Electra faints, falling on the ground. We can assume Orestes resembled Agamemnon (being his only male son) and that Electra really loved him as a sister: not only he helped Electra having her revenge against the queen, but he was now the only family she had… her only brother. 
Kaji must have had a similar role, for Misato. Her mother was totally absent in her life and only with Kaji she probably felt like being with her father/family again. Can Ryouji’s character be associated with Orestes in the Greek tragic myth? Probably. As Orestes did for her sister, the spy also helped Misato a lot by leaving her all of his data e informations about the Impacts, Lilith, the arrival of solidiers inside Nerv, the last Angel and Seele’s plans. Plus… in the play, after Electra finally had become conscious of Orestes’ fate, she promises to return home to claim the throne as rightful queen, the same decision we can feel and see in Misato’s eyes. He let her and helped her “get closer to the truth”.

MISATO:  I ain’t irritated anymore by the telephone that does not ring, since I now understand what you wanted me to know.

In conclusion: the anger and shame for having loved for years a man who looked a lot like her father is still present inside Misato’s memories and thoughts, as the last two episodes also confirm, till the very end of the original series. Is this a real, clear, example of the Electra Complex? Not quite, since Misato doesn’t take her place in the mother-daughter competition – supposedly because the sacrifice of her father happened when she was already a teenager, not a child. It can be related to the Complex for other reasons… of course, we can’t know that for sure, but it is unlikely that the mere good appearance of Kaji was the only reason she loved him and became his girlfriend. 

A human’s mind is way more complicated to understand than that – than all of this, no matter what.
   
   

“I KNOW THAT I KNOW NOTHING”  -  Socrates

Y'all. Sleeping happened last night. His feedings were perfection, 20 min, then back to sleep for 3 hours 😍😍 so much sleep for everyone!!

Today we are trying the baby Ktan. It’s pretty good, he kind of rolls up into a ball which makes me a little uncomfortable, but it’s nice to have free hands. We are going to get a walk in today or else!!

Oh hey, in other news, yesterday I was 159, and I wore a non maternity shirt 😎😎 NBD.

alwaysworryneverhappy  asked:

Explain!

OK, @eldritch-cthulhu also asked me. But it’s a lot less fun than explaining about demonic summoning, because it’s not actually about that. It’s about misogyny.

It’s by a dude but a useful book I read in explaining these feelings (which I had starting early, but couldn’t really sum up) I encountered in college was The Triple Bind: Saving Our Teenage Girls from Today’s Pressures and Conflicting Expectations, by Dr. Steven Hinshaw. It’s not a perfect book, and I don’t agree with everything in it, but the thesis was a useful one to me and I’ll paraphrase it here.

The book describes a ‘Triple Bind’ that many young women and girls experience, and carry into adult life. These are basically three conditions that cannot conflict to remain valid, but inherently contradict:

  1. Be good at all the ‘girl stuff.’ That’s not just performative femininity, looking ‘like a girl’ and having access to resources required for feminine appearance. But also performing all of the emotional labor expected from girls, roles expected from girls, and be good at them.

  2. Be good at all the ‘guy stuff.’ If you want to survive in our current culture, women need to ‘trespass’ into activities that our culture once coded exclusively male like work and careers, sometimes in school sports, being aggressive or assertive in projects, sometimes just having access to and spending money. This includes emotional approach and labor, performing a sort of numbers-filed-off suggestion of masculinity because the feminine is inherently considered subordinate. But not one that’s ‘good enough’ to transgress against assigned gender, or has access to challenge men in their own sphere of life.

  3. You MUST conform to the above, within a narrow set of standards of success that can’t mutually fulfill both of the prior conditions completely. Women’s role models are expected to have both traits, but not too much of both or either. You can be a star athlete, but people will criticize the same body they celebrate. You can be a successful career person but be prepared to be seen as cold, demanding, and non-maternal. Alternatively, you can be a mother but you better not be one of those no-career moms who just aren’t Feminist™. But a mother with a job is a bad mother and a bad worker because she’s not one thing or the other. You can be a tomboy but you better not transgress against the gender binary or heteronormativity too much. Girls who don’t wear blue jeans and aren’t cool with ‘the guys’ aren’t ‘cool.’ But some (gross men) want those girls because feminine girls are typified as not aggressive. But you better not have worn a skirt to the club, because you were asking for what happened next. You also better be aware of all of this, in control at all times and not have any form of disability or mental illness that effects your behavior or presentation.

Because the ‘girl stuff’ and the ‘guy stuff’ contradict (many people have described femininity as a lack of masculinity, and masculinity as a lack of femininity) it’s impossible to meet both demands at the same time in a satisfactory way. And then the third part of the bind that you must meet both, that it is not optional further traps women and girls. Basically it is a hell of inauthenticity that can leave someone feeling empty trying to meet all of these contradictory demands, inevitably doing something ‘wrong,’ and never being able to tell what is actually their real personality and what is just something that was expected of them that they can’t actually ever succeed at properly.

So that was long, but back to the whole joke of ‘why settle when you can have it all’ via demonic summoning. 

Because it’s impossible to fill these demands, so much media,

both by men who idealize a woman who magically achieves the contradictory demands (think: women by Joss Whedon)

and by women and girls who are tortured and are trying to invent ‘better’ versions of themselves that fulfill the contradictory demands (think: women by Stephanie Meyer)

depicts women and girls that come across as ‘too perfect’ or else strangely not subject to reality or their environment that in real life maintains we can’t ‘have it all.’

And yeah some of it is misogyny– there’s no reason to call Rey from Star Wars a Mary Sue other than that you think women shouldn’t be competent at anything. 

But you can’t deny that in a lot of media women’s power fantasies are not merely about ability or image, but about control: achieving a very specific sort of ideal persona that is able to be in control of patriarchal demands upon them, perfectly respond to everything society asks of women. Be strong but not so strong you threaten men. Be maternal but not too maternal, and still do all of that work to reassure men that you’re there for them. Be one of the guys, but don’t lose your feminine appeal to them. Be sexual and model a typified-male detached view of sexual encounters, but don’t be a slut. Be beautiful, but don’t come across as if you need to maintain your beauty. Be powerful, but remain firmly within the male gaze. Be independent, but not too independent.

It really can feel like the only way anybody in real life could somehow fulfill all of this at once is to sell your soul to demons. A lot of lateral hostility among women follows that script. it’s framed as ‘jealousy’ but it’s more complex than that. It’s a warped perception that some other women ‘have’ managed to fill the triple bind a little, and a self-loathing that we can’t. She must have sold her soul somehow, is faker, is more superficial than we are, to have met some of her contradictory hell demands.

Often this kind of anger has to do with hatred or idolization of money, which is one of the ways to lessen the triple bind; be able to buy all this shit that fills the image and makes it ‘easier’ for some women. But it better not be your career. Get a rich husband. But then you’re a gold digger. And it begins again.

So in the end that picture isn’t just a joke about summoning demons to gain control over your life and avoid the eventual mediocrity all people will achieve in some aspect of their lives. Intentionally or not, It’s also about women discussing that they are in hell and the only way one could ever win is to somehow impossibly bend the demons to their will. It’s a bitter joke because in real life you can’t make the patriarchy lay off of you, just as much as you can’t actually ritually summon imps to do all your chores.

anonymous asked:

A thought: Blue Diamond coming back somehow, and seeing Steven for the first time. (Because I love the idea of protective momma-Blue just holding him tight and crying tears of joy)

Okay… here ya go. :D

Just so everyone knows, this piece is ‘non-canon’.


Maternal Instinct

Children.

When Blue Diamond learned of the idea, it had seemed like such a strange concept. Messy and inefficient, compared to the Gem method of reproduction. But the more she had learned, the more she had seen the beauty in it. The poetry, the magic. The ability to create: not just a copy, but something wholly new. Somebody who could be better

And she also noticed how Greg’s eyes lit up when he saw human children playing on the streets or in one the many parks around the city. And Blue Diamond began to feel something new, something burning inside herself as well.

Together, they had decided to have a child.

But… it hadn’t worked.

There had been tears after the stillbirth. Grieving. But Greg had moved on, saying at least he still had her. He had urged Blue Diamond to move on as well.

But she had refused.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

You're a smart person, how come you can't see the symbolism? Denial? It's more than sex! Kaneki finally has a non-abusive maternal figure. Hence the depiction of Touka’s breasts, which is more than just pornographic since breasts have been used as symbolism for maternity and life-giving. This appropriate in context. Touka basically was this maternal figure at various points even though she was younger than him. This is sealed with her likely getting pregnant. Why are you so mad about this?

There’s blood in my eyes.

03/08/2017

Our little girl is getting bigger as the days pass by, I swear, she’s going to be a little chub when she finally arrives. I cannot wait for her to arrive. A few days ago we visited my parent’s house for a family barbeque so Cloud and Archer got to meet more of my large family, all of them completely obsessed with Cloud’s bump. They all shared their congratulations and joy with us. 

Now onto Cloud;

How far along: 23 weeks and 6 days!
Weight gain?: 2.5lbs.
Maternity Clothes?: Still wearing non-maternity clothes, but my jeans are much tighter.
Bump status: Definitely bigger than before.
Stretch marks?: More have started to appear.
Sleep: Not much changed, still the same.
Baby purchases this week: A few sets of clothing.
Best moment regarding baby this week: Visiting Lorenzo’s family and getting showered with love as well as gifts for the baby.
Gender: Girl.
Movement: Lots of kicking and moving around.
Food cravings: Burgers.
Food aversions: Fish.
Miss anything?: Nothing.
Belly Button In or Out?: In.
Rings on or off?: On.
What I am looking forward to?: The next update.
Our baby in veggie/fruit terms: Corn.

-Lorenzo

For the (cranky and opinionated) record:

  • Carter doesn’t act maternal toward anyone except her son.
  • Shaw doesn’t see Carter as a mother figure.

anonymous asked:

He won't attend the baftas because he'll be home, bathing pillow nuber one in the shell of a giant holy water basin found in a 17 th century abbey in Tuscany, lovingly looking at his non pr not maternal wife not breastfeeding their not second pillow, sprawled naked on the fur of a white wolf while watching a 20 hours long Hugarian documentary about Pina Baush (without subtitles), eating salmon gravlax on blinis and drinking iceberg water. A normal evening in the cumbermanor of avant garde.

I think I love you nonny!

Today, I fucked up... by being pregnant at the mall

I have a fancy black tie event coming up in a few days and I am too far along in my pregnancy to fit in anything that would have worked in my wardrobe, but not pregnant enough where I am restricted to just maternity clothes. I went to the mall today with the intent of going into a few stores I like and purchasing something in the next size up.

I found three dresses to try on and headed to the fitting room. The first one fit fine but was baggy and awkward. On to the second. It was a little tight as I put it on, but I took this as a good thing because I wanted something form fitting. The dress looked great and it was the winner. I unzipped the side zipper and proceeded to try and pull it over my head. It wasn’t working. There was no way it was going down, it had to go up and over. I tried again and got it up just under my boobs. Then I realized I was stuck. I couldn’t see and my upper arms were restricted to the sides of my head.

From inside the dressing room I had started to cry and sweat. Pure panic ensued. “Hello? Is anyone working back here?” That was all I could get out. No answer. I tried louder. No answer. My strategy now was to rip the dress. Doing anything I could to get the fuck out, but no luck. Keep in mind I also can’t see. Angrier, I try to get someone’s attention again. I opened the door to the dressing room ever so slightly to try and see if anyone was there. This did nothing though as I was blinded by red fabric.

At this point I estimate that about 10 minutes had passed. I had to go out, I was starting to feel lightheaded like I was going to faint. So out I went in my underwear and big belly out for the world to see, and everything from the boobs up covered by this dress. A woman quickly saw me and guided me back into the dressing room. She worked there and tried to help me get the dress over my head, but there was still no luck. The dress was cut off of me and I was so thankful yet so embarrassed at the same time. They refused to let me pay for the dress and said they would write it off as damaged in store. I am never going back there again.

tl;dr - tried to squeeze into a larger, non maternity sized dress and got stuck while trying to take it off. Had to waddle out into the store half naked with a dress over my head to have an employee cut it off.

Check out more TIFUs: Internet`s best fuck ups are here.

Spinsie answers my question:  “Why are Skeptics so important to convince?” and lays down the law of the land.

Hi Anna! Spinsie here, wearing my flak jacket as the nanny-nonnies continue to launch their spitballs. A spectacularly lovely person has posed some very pertinent questions, so I have provided a response.

Why are the Skeptics so important to convince? Why would anyone care what we have to say about this ridiculous situation? Why are we being monitored so closely? Aren’t we supposed to be the crazy paranoid ones whose opinions do not matter? I can’t help feeling like we’re missing the big picture here..

I wonder this a lot. We’re variously tagged as mental, obsessed, malevolent, envious, deluded and pathetic; it really does beg the question as to why anyone bothers reading our posts or bothering to change our views.

I can only offer an opinion(s), and only based on what I see. I don’t have any inside information about the secret lives of Rachel and whoever she married. I’ve sorted these random thoughts in to sections because sub-headings can be fun sometimes. I’ve started with the obvious and then moved onto more opinion based responses.

Bleeding obvious

We’re on social media, on a pretty big site that is populated by lots of fandoms. We’re part of a well-known fandom so we’re sitting ducks for trolling, and sitting ducks for the Tea Party type nans who are convinced that anyone who disagrees with the enforced narrative is the enemy and must be punished. That would account for a large amount of our detractors. We also engage with them a lot, so it makes their attacks worthwhile. (For what its worth, I think at least some of the trolling is a desperate attempt for company. I’m not excusing people who do it, I’m just suggesting that sometimes they are a good deal more lonely than we realise.)

A bit not good

Sceptics of anything rarely get good press. They’re also prime targets for derision, and mocking them is an easy way to scare off anyone who doubts the pushed narrative. I am sure a lot of closet sceptics are very scared of being ostracized by their followers or doxxed by the nans. Staying silent is a safe option, and therefore the nans’ punishments could be viewed as very effective.

Yes, some sceptic views are controversial, but I’ve yet to find a valid reason why the nans think it is their role to police that, particularly when there is so much toxicity out there on the webs that could use some policing. In any case, anyone with a ounce of common sense would realise that one person’s view does not represent a whole group’s view. The more wily nans have sought to take the most controversial views and present them as the general sceptic view, when, if they had any nous, they’d be plastering their sites with rock solid proof of how great the Batch union and progeny are. They’d have pictures and irrefutable arguments and could drown us out with their reason.

A rational person would just block sites they don’t want to read; the nans just come back salivating daily, waiting to be outraged and inflamed.  I wonder sometimes if they actually secretly like us.  

Nan Power in anonymity

There must be a lot of comfort to be had in joining group onslaughts anonymously. The nannies live on anon and can say whatever hateful things they want to and about us. All it takes is a couple of the more vituperative nannies to give implied permission to the other more timid nannies and next thing you know, the sceptics are inundated with pompous, patronizing nonny posts.

Importantly for the nans - while we’re busy defending ourselves against their tirades, we’re not posting the pregnancy pics or discussing the blinds or questioning whatever Seb is writing now. It’s an old tactic – keep your opponents defending and their arguments will never look valid.

Which leads me to …

Spinsie’s Law

I’d like to enact a sceptics’ legislation, a law that requires every single nanny-nonny submission to be answered with the pregnancy chronology pics. New rule, nannies: no one gets an answer, justification or defence until you explain the how Rachel’s pregnancy worked. As soon as a nanny - or indeed anyone – can provide a plausible explanation as to how Rach twisted her pregnancy body on the Vogue couch, why she shilled a wedding dress she obviously didn’t wear, how her belly was upside down in Brora Brora, how she bowed at LL and how she wore her old size 4 non-maternity clothes when she was seven months pregnant, then we’ll start arguing.

Section 2 of the act forbids any nanny to use details of their experiences as their reasons. No one gives a toss what nannies wore in their pregnancy or that they were able to scale Big Ben two days before going into labour. All nannies who wish to present their case are required to explain only Rachel’s experiences, and to provide receipts. Section 2b defines receipts as not being People, a Daily Fail article or any other news report or tweet.

The legislation will allow special credit to any nanny who can adequately explain why Rachel BLURRED HER HUSBAND’S FACE in images she used to sell a pair of shoes. I mean, seriously. Why nannies, WHY? What part of that action suggests this is a normal union? What part of that action doesn’t unsettle your belief that this pair is in love? TELL US. Explain how that blurring is the action of a normal devoted spouse.

Just buy the thing

We’re actively refusing to accept a popular product. That form of dissent is never popular.

What’s more, the product is an actor who, up until last November, had a peculiar, organic charm, and a large tightly gathered, vocal fandom that appreciated an actor who seemed genuinely funny and creative. In the last year we’ve seen him streamlined, seemingly taken over by corporations. He’s become a lot less palatable for the rustic crowd, and a lot more digestible for the mass market. Sad, but not unusual. He seems to want a franchise and the perks that come with that. His (varied) handlers seem to believe that in order to achieve global success and represent the value of a studio, he has to present a particular image.

No one wants to believe their fave could be so easy to repackage. Anyone who argues that he is, is not going to popular.

Nans: a field guide

How much of the trolling and opposition is from the nans, and how much is outside influence? I’d say, based on what I see, that about 80% comes from nans, 20% from outside. I don’t think the outside influence is really interested in pushing the narrative and if they are, they’re dopier than I originally thought: they don’t have to push the narrative anymore. It’s pushed. That Rach and Whoever are married, procreating, parenting, buying houses and living the dream is the default setting these days.

I think the outside influence is entrenched in sexism and elitism and driven by nastiness. They depict the sceptics as mad fangirls who wanted to marry a actor, and view them as an exclusively shameless female base who will never get their picture in Tatler, sprouting opinions and sprinkling snark over a pair of privileged polished upper middle class actors who are selling everything from cars to clogs and expecting their pitches to be received without question. They never refute any sceptic views, just insult and degrade.

The sceptics’ refusal to bow is annoying for the outsiders, I’ve no doubt. I envisage the outsiders as privileged and not used to being challenged by those they perceive as less important.  I interpret the outside trolling as frustration, shouting down ornery commoners who won’t accept Rachel and Whoever’s intrinsic superiority. Their on-going wailing has no impact yet they keep coming back, so it must be for their own benefit.

Why won’t we just die

As for infighting amongst the sceptics – well, both the nans and the outsiders would love watching that. We’re a pretty broad church and yet we’ve been, until recently, pretty friendly. Worse, we’ve been defiant and refuse to shut up. No matter what they do, we just keep blogging.  That would have to be a great source of irritation to nans and outsiders. Divide and conquer is their only hope. Watching us squabble would delight them, so of course the less stable (or desperate) amongst them would come charging in to keep the fights going.

(And this is just a guess, but if you hypothetically ran a website business that specialized in shaping social media perceptions, wouldn’t it look great on your CV if you could prove you took down an opposing faction for a big client?)

Fifty shades of beige (and they’re all beige)

Finally – the whole fauxmance was fascinating in its early stages. As celebrity watching goes, it’s boring now. I think the nans are as bored as us. Batch and Rachel may have learnt to hold hands, but she’s never going to make any exciting fashion choices and he’s no longer the charming goofy person he was two years ago. They both look fairly glum.

We’re more quiet these days because we’ve grown so used to the Batch process of red carpets and sour faces. I daresay the sceptic ranks will continue to grow as long as the Batches keep trudging down the red carpet. We just won’t be as vocal, or as noticed. We might get the occasional laugh (I so hope she is making mood boards to celebrate the baby’s teething) but even those things will get dull eventually.

I think the nans are as bored as us. They troll and provoke a lot more when there’s no news.

Postscript

As for the final outcome – well, the Batches have managed to keep it going for a year. If they do break up, we won’t hear about it until it’s all sorted, months in the past and finalised. Any truth behind the union or the break up will be skillfully buried. If I’m wrong, and there is a blaze of publicity and an unspeakable scandal, I expect the nans will all come rushing over here, insisting they were always sceptics and they never liked Rachel at all. The outsiders will disappear instantly.

There’s always hope

If you liked Batch and admire his work, that’s still available to all of us. I really enjoyed the Sherlock special. Sometimes I re-watch TTSP and marvel at how good he can be, and remind myself that he will continue to get better and better. Who knows what kind of films he’ll make in the future. Consider the long term for a moment: what if he breaks through the mainstream US market – aided by the fact he is “married and parenting”   - and establishes himself a world wide audience? What if he uses that power to produce interesting films, star in exceptional roles and is able to take some creative risks because he’s scrambled to the top of the pile?

Time for bed

I think the nans are unavoidable, but we don’t have to entertain them. Let’s change the tune and make them work for their supper. Rather than having us have to prove our views to them, have them prove theirs to us.  I do know that nothing I’ve seen or heard so far has changed my mind, and every foot stamping, bad mannered nanny makes me more convinced that we’re witnessing a clumsy PR stunt.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Thank you Spinsie for this absolutely brilliant post!

I hereby pledge to uphold the Spinsie Law from here on out.

Happy due date to us! Look at me wearing a non-maternity shirt like a person who is not pregnant! (Am I still wearing maternity pants and hospital-issue disposable underwear? Yes. Yes I am.)

Happy New Year! A lot has been happening around these parts and I’ve really missed [over]sharing with y'all. I hope that everyone had a happy holiday season. 

Whew. The above photo was taken yesterday morning– the beginning of week 29. And yes, I need to clean my mirror. That belly has exploded and I am well into stretching out any of the non-maternity clothes that I can still squeeze myself into. Thank goodness Santa & the birthday fairy heeded my call and brought me a few pairs of size up workout pants for Christmas. I have a feeling that will be a big part of my wardrobe towards the end of my pregnancy. 

I had a big checkup on New Years Eve. Glucose test, an u/s to check baby’s size, a visit with my favorite doc, and then a not so fun shot as I’m Rh-negative. Thankfully, I passed the glucose test literally by the skin of my teeth (we’re talking ONE DAMN POINT) and all is well with our little nugget. She did have one small issue that we discovered during our anatomy ultrasound @ 18 weeks but, thank God, it has since resolved itself. Healthy baby as far as we know. What a blessing to be able to say that. 

This child has apparently hit her growth spurt and is measuring almost 10 days ahead of where she should be (saying this in hopes that we have a healthy, chunky little girl not in hopes that she comes early at all). I realize this is only according to the doctor’s calculations (which put her at 3.6 lbs), but I can only assume that she’ll be a hearty nugget when the ultrasound tech exclaims “Holy cow- look at that femur! I’ve never seen anything like it!” Oh, and she’s still breech. I have been told to not worry about this until week 36- but I need to start preparing myself for the possibility that she might not decide to come naturally. I’m on the fence about trying an ECV so I’d love to hear from anyone that’s had experience [of any kind] in this department. 

FINALLY sweet baby decided to let us catch a QUICK glimpse of her face (thanks to the orange glucose drink I imagine). Oh, you guys- her lips and those cheeks! I can’t stop staring at her little features. I imagine that our desire to finally meet her will only increase as the weeks go on, but something about seeing her little face makes me giddy with excitement. 

Much to the avail of anyone over 65, I’m still wearing heels. The only issues with my feet thus far has come from going barefoot as my heels are starting to feel the impact of my (baby’s) weight gain. 

Thanks to 10 days off of work, we have nearly finished up baby H’s nursery. All that we are waiting for now is the delivery of her rocker (that I ordered way back in October). I always made fun of those folks that said they really enjoyed going to sit in the nursery before baby’s arrival- until I realized that I do that very same thing myself these days. The little room is just so serene and neutral. I can’t wait to share photos with y'all once it’s finally complete! 

Windsor is starting to get a little territorial with the baby’s room so I have taken to closing the nursery door during the day. Momma only needs to clean up so many messes during the day if you know what I mean. I’m not concerned about W bonding with Baby once she arrives but Windsor is not an idiot an clearly understands that something is about to change given the time we’ve been spending getting the room ready.

A few other tidbits over the past couple of weeks…

  • Weight gain thus far: 18 pounds
  • Cravings: chocolate milkshakes, red meat, avocado salad, hint water (particularly the mango/grapefruit and the blackberry)
  • Sleep: Ha. I toss and turn for a good majority of the night. Thank God for a king sized bed. 
  • I feel a little like a Shar-Pei these days. I’ll let you figure that one out for yourself. 
  • Discomfort: still in my right abdomen (directly related to the position of her head and giant cheeks), heels, sporadic charlie horse in both legs in the middle of the night

I do have some new “favorite things” to share later with you all. Not that I’m a maternity expert by any stretch of the imagination but just some goodies that I’ve come to love. Stay tuned as this post is already far too long. Sorry about that- but I told you I had a lot to share ;)

oxo