The thing with being gay, or anything in the LGBT spectrum, is that you grow up diferently.
And I don’t mean that you have a different homelife, or that we are raised different.
I just mean that you grow up differently in the way you explerience relationships. I will start off by stating that this is simply just my expereince and that others’ experiences may be or have been different.
I’ll start with the good things.
You find someone you think you love, to help you start your journey. And you dont just date someone the same gender as you because you “want to try it”. No. It just happens. You dont wake up and think “ Hey Ill try expriementing”. Thats not how being gay works. It just happens, because it feels right, as with straight relationships. There are more sleepovers with your partner, more secret kisses. You develop a secret way of communicating with them, and send more texts or messages, or letters.
But with this, you also have more secrecy, more lying to prevent anyone from finding out. Less hand holding, less public affection, and you dont tell ANYONE exept your closests friends because you are afraid that someonewill find out that isnt so accepting. You get called Dyke, lesbo, faggot, fag, bitch, and other fun names by your fellow students when you cut your hair short because it feels more “you”than anything else ever has.
And then you breakup, and everything stops for awhile.
Time rolls on, and another relationship. It starts again, no hand holding in public, and skerting around your parents so they dont find out. You plan to move out together, but dont dare to tell your parents the real reason why. You struggle to find reasons to see each other more often, cringe when you are introduced as “ my really good friend” to everyone. It hurts. You don’t know what will happen, and you are constantly scared of being judged for your relationship. You are afraid to kiss, hold hands, or even hug in public for too long, just in case.
You don’t introduce them to your parents as your boy friend, girlfriend, or even your partner, because you are too scared to come out for fear that your conservative parents wont understand.. or worse… they will and will kick you out. You hope someday that you can get married and have your parents there to walk you down the aisle, or to support you while you wait at the end of the altar. You think about how much better it will be to move out, and you feel stifled in your parents home because you can’t just be yourself. You have to pretend to like boys, or girls, or pretend that you dont cringe everytime your parents try to put you in thewrong clothes, misgender you, or ask when youllstart dating.
Growing up LGBT+, gay, is different, because you spend your entire relationship wanting nothing more than your parents support and love and help, and wanting them to even just SHOW UP to your wedding. Only to find out that you can’t get married anymore, because the one in control of your country is trying to ban your right to love. Something so many take for granted, is something that those of us in the LGBTQIA+ community fear, Our simple right to love and cherish and be with those that we want to spend the rest of our lives with.
Now that the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services and The White House have finalized new nondiscrimination provisions under Section 1557 of the Affordable Care Act, it is more important than ever to know your rights and what to do if you face discrimination.
To better explain what these protections mean, Out2Enroll partnered with trans comic artist, Dylan Edwards, on a series of illustrated discrimination situations.
A little kid at my painting camp pulled me over to the side and said “I don’t know how to ask this, but are you a boy or a girl?? I can’t tell.”
And I was thrilled because I had passed the “child pointing out your appearance means gender” test as well as being approachable enough that he could ask. So I sat down and told him I was neither and explained that growing up I was told I was a girl but that I’m not, but I’m not a boy either. And he just looked at me and said “so you’re just a person.” Swear to god I had the biggest smile on my face when I told him that’s exactly what I was.
For the rest of the day he just called me Izzy instead of Ms something or any gendered title and I got a hug at the end of camp.
So if you say gender is too confusing for children to understand, I have a first grader who would tell you otherwise.
uhm so anyways support nb/genderqueer ppl who arent mlm/wlw or “male aligned”/“female aligned” or whatever and feel out of place cause this site is so focused on binary terms even for nb/genderqueer ppl
like… this is 100% why i ID as a trans guy/male aligned nb person for so long cause like… i felt like i had to? but like… im not really? and it kinda hurt cause i felt like i had to pick whether or not i was male aligned or female aligned (or a wlw/mlm) so I basically misgendered myself because i felt like i had to Choose
but like yeah support nb/genderqueer ppl who arent male/female aligned but feel like they gotta choose bc this website is so focused on binary terms that they even need to apply them to ppl who are non binary