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“SPORTS Explained by Non-Athletes!” My good friend, @jonerstrokes, and I decided to take some of your burning questions about all things sports! What are sports? HOW do you sports? Well, we (do not) have the answers!!

On History and Pie

Summary:  A nonathletic!Jack fic, where grad student and history nerd, Jack Zimmermann meets the cute Samwell student/baker Eric Bittle at the Bread and Butter Bakery.  Will the two make a love connection?  For @devereauxsdisease and @victorineb who love this incarnation of Jack as much as I do.

Originally posted by butteryplanet


They’d chatted at the bakery enough times that Bitty was able to pull the information from Jack. He’d started coming to the bakery about four weeks ago, and during that time Bitty became more and more charmed with the second year grad student.

He always sat in the corner armchair, ordered a black coffee, two macarons and a slice of whatever the pie of the day was. Bitty first noticed him when he came in to order a slice of Weary Willie cake.

Bitty loved his job at the bakery, it gave him some extra cash while he attended Samwell. Whenever Bitty was there, he was the de facto person in charge. Shirley and Spencer, the owners of Bread and Butter adored Bitty.

“We never had any kids of our own, so you’re the closest thing to it, Bitty,” Shirley said to him one evening over a cup of earl grey tea.

So Bitty stood there, face to face with the bluest eyes he’d ever seen the first time Jack walked in. The Clark Kent glasses in front of them did nothing to hide the fact that they were beautiful. It was a good face, a handsome face. He was burly and tall, and Bitty loved that. He smiled, and Bitty’s body language invited Blue Eyes to speak.

“Can I get a slice of the Weary Willie cake?”

“Sure can, handsome,” Bitty said as he began to ring up Blue Eyes’ order, who blushed furiously. “What else can I do you for?”

“Coffee. Black. Medium, please,” he replied looking down at the counter.

“Why don’t you go find yourself a seat and I’ll bring it out to you,” Bitty said with a warm smile.

“Thank you,” Blue Eyes said softly and then turned to walk toward the corner armchair.

When Bitty approached, Blue Eyes had pulled out a laptop and several textbooks, the one on top of the pile was called Foundations of Modern European Intellectual History.

“Doing a little light reading, huh?” Bitty said as he put the cake and coffee on the side table.

“Oh, haha. Yes.”

“Do you go to Samwell?”

“I’m finishing up my masters in history there,” he said as he held up his book.

“That’s great. I haven’t seen you here before,” Bitty said wanting to know more about History Blue Eyes.

“I saw the chalkboard outside listing the Weary Willie cake and the history nerd in me became curious.”

“Look at you! You certainly are a history major.”

“Did you make the cake?” Jack asked raising his eyebrows.

“Sure did. My moomaw had the recipe from her mama.”

“Well, it’s not often I find a somewhat obscure historical reference on my way back to the history building.” 

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Nathan Chen vs. Victor Nikiforov

Kubo has made some comments recently about how when YOI was being created she wanted it to be a ‘little ahead of where skating is right now’. It’s not as if they had the characters doing quintuples or something. She just, jump content wise, had the characters somewhat ahead of the standard of the top skaters in competition. Victor’s program in the first episode stood out to a lot of people. It seemed a bit fantastic! 

He performed four different quads. No one had done that before. Jin Boyang had first done four quads in a program before, almost a year previous to YOI’s premiere. But… they weren’t four different quads. It did still seem a bit fanciful, although yes, it was inevitable that it would occur within a couple years. There were skaters, multiple ones, who we knew probably had the capability to do it. There was a lot of talk about a trio of teenagers nicknamed the ‘quad squad’ and which one would be first to pull it off. These three young men are Jin Boyang of China, Shoma Uno of Japan, and Nathan Chen of USA. 

Anyway, the ‘first to pull it off’ ended up being Nathan Chen of the USA, and not only did he ‘pull off’ Victor Nikiforov’s jump layout, but he did him one over and completed a more difficult one. There’s no quad toe triple toe in there, but instead the harder combination the quad lutz + triple toe loop. However, he did do four different quads, and on top of that, one more, for a total of five quads. He’s now done this twice in two months, once at US Nationals and once at Four Continents. 

Even Kubo-sensei herself expressed amusement at this. She meant to make the show a little bit in the future, but within a month of the series ending, actual figure skating surpassed it! 

So how does Victor’s (record breaking in the YOI universe) Stammi Vicino free skate compare with Nathan Chen’s (history making in our universe) Polovtsian Dances free skate? Let’s take a look! 

As a note, I don’t really have a way to know exactly the levels and base values of Victor’s step sequences and spins, so this will be based on jumps only. Also this is based on Nathan’s jump layout at US Nationals. His jump layout at Four Continents was slightly different. :)

Originally posted by eggplantgifs

Nathan Chen:

  1. Quad Lutz + Triple Toe loop
  2. Quad Flip
  3. Quad Toeloop + Double Toe loop + Double Loop
  4. Quad Toeloop
  5. Triple Axel
  6. Quad Salchow
  7. Triple Lutz
  8. Triple Flip + Triple Toe loop

Base Value of jumps alone 91.96

I pulled these base values directly off icenetwork’s official scoring sheets, so if there’s anything wrong, blame them not me. 

Originally posted by vkusnykatsudon

Victor Nikiforov

  1. Quad Lutz 
  2. Quad Flip 
  3. Triple Axel 
  4. Quadruple Salchow
  5. Triple Axel + Triple Loop + Double Loop 
  6. Triple Lutz
  7. Triple Flip
  8. Quadruple Toe Loop + Triple Toe Loop

Base Value of jumps alone: 88.79 

If there’s a mistake in these though, it’s my fault. 

Why is Victor’s so close to Nathan’s despite having one less quad? It’s mostly because his program is a little more backloaded with jumps than Nathan’s is. He puts his quad/triple as his last jump element, and he even squishes that three jump combination in his latter half of the program.  Remember that jumps in the latter part of your program get a 10% bonus on scores. This is emphasized in YOI especially with Yuuri’s character, as his stamina allows him to put the most difficult elements of his program near the end of his programs to take advantage of that. A quad flip within mere moments of your program ending is absolutely balls to the wall nuts, but Yuuri does it in both his short and long programs at the GPF. 

Nathan Chen’s original program plan at US Nationals was a triple loop where the last quad salchow is. If he had done that, he would have had four quads and his base value would have been: 85.51, which is a little below Victor’s (despite the fact that Nathan’s quadruple jump combo, the 4 lutz/3 toe is more difficult than Victor’s choice of a 4 toe/3 toe. In fact, at Four Continents it broke a record for the highest score on an individual element!). The power of those latter half bonuses is strong! 

Anyway, the scores being close w/ four quads all makes sense, as the quads Victor and Nathan have in their competitive arsenal are identical. The one quad they both don’t do is the loop (Victor apparently can but has only done it in exhibition, so perhaps it’s not something he’s consistent enough on? And of course no one does the axel). 

I wouldn’t call Nathan’s program particularly front loaded. However, if he does want his sky high base scores to be even higher, he can try to move some more of those jumps to the latter half. He is still only seventeen though, so he may not have developed the stamina for it yet. Victor on the other hand, has been working on this forever. That being said, that also proves what an athlete Victor is, because he’s twenty-seven years old and still doing this, which is incredible. Twenty-seven is still very young, but figure skating, like gymnastics, is known as a sport with a mayfly life span for a lot of athletes. It’s very hard on the body. Thus, Victor slamming out those quads at the end of his program at twenty-seven is pretty darn amazing. 

But yes Nathan is an absolutely stunning (and non-fictional!) athlete. It’s wonderful what he’s done. I’d be interested to see how Victor’s short program layout compares to his, but we don’t have any info on that, although I could do a comparison to JJ’s Rostelecom layout or Yuuri’s (planned) GPF one! 

On History and Dinner

Summary: A non athletic!Jack fic, where grad student and history nerd, Jack Zimmermann meets the cute Samwell student/baker Eric Bittle at the Bread and Butter Bakery.  Picks up right after On History and Pie.  Jack takes a chance and meets Bitty for dinner. It’s their first date.  A collaboration with the wonderful @zim-tits​ featuring her lovely artwork. Also on AO3

Bitty was closing up shop for the evening at Bread and Buttery Bakery when he heard a small tap. Lardo smiled as she looked through the large picture window and saw who was standing on the other side.

“It’s your boy, Bitty,” she said.

He glanced and saw Jack standing outside as he waved shyly.

Chowder unlocked and opened the door. “Welcome! Come on in.”

“Thanks,” Jack said as he came in slowly, looking at Bitty with a soft smile.

Bitty closed the register and smiled in return as he walked from behind the counter toward Jack.

“Hi, Jack.”

“Hi, Eric. Bitty.”

The two wordlessly stared at one another, smiling. Lardo, taking pity on them, cleared her throat, “Uh, Chowder, can you help me with something in back?”

Chowder frowned disappointed he wasn’t going to be able to watch.

“Sure, Lardo.”

“You came,” Bitty said. “Thanks for that. Thanks for trusting me.”

“My uncle says… well, never mind, but I’m the one that should be saying thanks – for the shortbread. It was really good.”

“Really good? I was aiming for so amazing it would make you wanna slap your mama but then again, I’m sure you love your mama, so really good will do.”

Jack laughed softly, “I do. So, are you… that is… if you’re still interested…”

“Jack, would you like to go grab something to eat?”

Jack smiled, relieved that Bitty had taken the lead.

“Yes, I’d like that.”

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Before We Were Us

Summary: The story of how you and Zach first met and became a couple

Pairing: Zach Dempsey x Reader

Warning: Fluff

A/N: I got the inspiration from @zacchdempsey ‘s Being Justin’s best friend and dating Zach would include…

Part 2 >>

Originally posted by rafaelasgomes


The inevitable end of summer was fast approaching with the start of a new school year. But you weren’t going to let that disappointment stop you from making a statement marking your change from your usual quiet, non-athletic nature to a spontaneous, workout fanatic. You spent your summer working at the local YMCA and taking full advantage of the workout facility. Your body had completely changed. Muscles were more defined and waist clenched with perfect sculpted abs. Whenever, you walked past the mirror you became more and more impressed with your new physique and started to love your body more.

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lead my life astray

Title: lead my life astray
Author: strangetowns
Rating: Teen and Up Audiences
Warnings: None Apply
Completed: Yes
Word count: 3797
Summary: Mr. Zimmermann raises his eyebrows. “Are you implying, then, that I expect too much?”
“Not as such,” Eric replies. “I am simply asking you to keep an open mind.”
A Pride and Prejudice AU.

Most memorable line: “I am not very, very sad,” Eric protests. “I am, at most, simply sad. This is a gross exaggeration of my character, and I will not stand for it.”

2

Gifs of Thomas and Joan from the SPORTS Explained by Non-Athletes! video.

Thomas, what are you doing with your mouth? It looks adorable. >w<

I’m posting both because I couldn’t decide where I wanted the gif to start and I really wanted the tongue sticking out of his mouth to be in the gif without the gif being too big. You know, for cuteness bonus points. 8D

Also, Joan looks just as adorable with their beanie. :)

EDIT: OMG guys I’m sorry for using the wrong pronoun for Joan!! That sometimes happens to me because I haven’t gotten used to using them yet. I fixed it!

Saturday Night’s Alright For Dancing

Title: Saturday Night’s Alright For Dancing
Author: McBangle
Rating: Teen and Up Audiences
Warnings: None Apply
Completed: Yes
Word count: 4813
Summary: Jack Zimmermann was a photographer for the Daily. Samwell University’s ballroom dancing club - the Dancing Wellies - had been heating up the Massachusetts amateur ballroom dance competition circuit thanks to Eric Bittle’s and Alexei “Tater” Mashkov’s dance partnership. Jack would have to get some newsworthy photos of Bittle if he wanted to keep himself assigned to cover the Dancing Wellies.

Most memorable line: So, no, Jack didn’t have a crush. He was just… an admirer of talent and skill. That was all.

Watching Noel Fielding on Bake Off feels like being a parent watching your strange, non-athletic son on sports day. You want him to do well for himself but absolutely no one gets what he’s doing and you’re constantly on edge that he’s going to do the wrong thing and start crying.

anonymous asked:

Jack loves everything about Bitty, because what's not to love? But the thing that he appreciates most is the sharp v crease outlining his hips that becomes Extra Visible when he's wearing sweatpants that are just a Bit too baggy so they hang low over his hips... Jack is just so gone on how fucking buff Bitty is and he gets annoyed when people brush him off as small of cute because Bitty could easily kick your ass. -Alcohol Anon

Bitty is fit as hell, yeah size wise he’s on the smaller side compared to the rest of the Hockey team but compared to the non-athletic crowd he’s BUILT. He’s lean as hell but its mostly muscle, and he can lift a ton too. Baking requires so much damn kneading and lifting of flour bags so his arms are like… really nice.. his abs are… really nice.. and Jack is living for his bf who is… really nice :^) 

On History and Pie

Title: On History and Pie
Author: MwuahnaWrathoftheStag (Mwuahna)
Rating: Teen and Up Audiences
Warnings: None Apply
Completed: Yes
Word count: 2593
Summary: A nonathletic!Jack ficlet, where grad student and history nerd, Jack Zimmermann meets the cute Samwell student/baker Eric Bittle at the Bread and Butter Bakery. Will the two make a love connection?

Most memorable line: “Well, who does he think he is?! Making a decision about my life on my behalf. Oh no, sir!”
Bitty slammed his laptop shut, grabbed his WWII Ration Cookbook from the bookshelf, and marched straight to the Haus kitchen.
“Not on my watch, Zimmermann!”