psychic: reads my mind
me: hi, you’re on a rock floating in space. pretty cool, huh? some of it’s water. fuck it. actually, most of it’s water. i can’t even get from here to there without buying a boat. it’s sad. i’m sad. i miss you.
HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?
a long time ago… actually, never. and also now. nothing is nowhere. when? never. makes sense, right? like i said, it didn’t happen. nothing was never anywhere. that’s why it’s been everywhere. it’s been so “everywhere,” you don’t need a “where.” you don’t even need a “when.” that’s how “every” it gets.
forget this. i wanna be something. go somewhere. do something. i want things to change. i want to invent time and space. and i know it’s possible because everything is here, and it probably already happened. i just don’t know when to start.
and that’s exactly where it started.
big bang— pause
woah. i paused it. i think there’s a universe now. what’s it made of? quarks and stuff. ah, that’s a thing! in a place! don’t like it? try a new place, at a different Time™. try to stick together, because the world is gonna get bigger and emptier. but it’s not empty yet! it’s still very full, and about a kjghpillion degrees.
about no seconds later
great news! the quarks are now happily married in groups of three, called a “proton” and a “neutron.” and there’s something else flying around that wants to join in, but can’t cause it’s too HOT.
ten minutes later
great news! the protons and neutrons are now happily married to each other! some of them even doubled up.
about 380,000 years later
great news! the electrons have now joined in. congratulations! the world is now… a bunch of gas in space. but it’s getting closer together…
ten million years later
and it’s getting closer together…
500 million years later
and it’s getting closer togeth—
star is born
it’s a star
new shit just got made!
some stars burn out and die. bigger stars burn out and die with passion! and make some brand new way crazier shit.
which allows for newer and more interesting stars to be made, and then die and explode into even crazier space dust!
so now, stars have cool stuff around them, like rocks, ice, and funny clouds, which can make some very interesting things. like this ball of flaming rocks, for example.
meteor hits earth
holy shit, we just got hit by another ball of flaming rocks. and it kind of… made a mess. which is now the moon
weather update: it’s raining rocks from outer space.
weather update: those rocks might’ve had water inside of them and now there’s hot steam in the sky.
weather update: cooler temperatures today and the floor is no longer lava.
weather update… it’s raining.
severe flooding alert, the entire world is now an ocean.
something’s alive in the ocean
oh, cool. like a plant, or an animal? no! a microscopic speck. it lives in the bottom of the ocean and eats chemical soup, which is being served hot and fresh, made from gnarly space ingredients left over from when it was raining rocks or whatever.
microscopic speck asexually reproduces
oh yeah, and it can do that.
reproduces three more times
it has secret instructions written inside itself telling it how to build another one of itself. so that’s pretty nifty, i would say.
tired of living at the bottom of the ocean?
now you can eat sunlight!
using a revolutionary technique, you can convert sunlight into food.
taste the sun!
side effect, now there’s oxygen everywhere and the sky is blue.
then the earth might’ve been a snowball for a while. maybe even a couple of times.
it’s a sponge… it’s a plant… it’s a worm, and some other types of weird strange water bugs and strange fish.
it’s the Cambrian explosion: “wow, that’s animals and stuff”
but we’re still in the ocean. hey, can we go on land?
the sun is a deadly laser
not anymore, there’s a blanket
now the animals can go on land. come on, animals, let’s go on land!
“nope, can’t walk yet.”
“and there’s no food yet, so i don’t care.”
100 million years later
okay, will you learn to walk if there’s plants up here?
“maybe,” said some bugs. and fish.
fish gasps for air
five million years later
okay, so i can go on land, but i have to go back in the water to have babies!
idea: learn to use an egg.
“i was already doing that”
use a stronger egg. put water in it. have a baby, on land, in an egg. water is in the egg. baby, in the egg, in the water, in the egg.
works for me. bye bye ocean
50 million years later
and now everything’s huge. including bugs.
wanna see a map of the land? sure.
oh, fuck, now everything’s dead.
just kidding, here are the survivors. keep your eye on this one, because it’s about to become
75 million years later
here’s another map of the land. yeah, it broke apart. don’t worry about it, it does that all the time. here comes a meteor.
and the dinosaurs are gone
it’s mammal time, here come the mammals. look at those breasts.
now they’re gonna dominate the world, but one of them just learned how to grab stuff. and walk. no, like, walk like that. and grab stuff at the same time. and bang rocks together to make pointed rocks.
and set things on fire.
and make crazy sounds with their voice:
which can mean different things.
that’s a human person!
and now they’re everywhere. almost.
what? you can walk over here? cool.
well i guess we’re stuck here now.
let’s review: there’s people on the planet. and they’re chasing their food.
fuck it. time to plant some grass.
look at this. i get to control the food now. now everyone will want to be my friend and live near me. let’s all build houses, except mine is bigger because i own the food.
this is great! i wonder if anyone else is doing this.
tired of using rocks for everything? use metal. it’s underground.
better farming was just invented in a sweet dank valley right in between these two rivers, and the animals are helping.
guess what happens next?
more food. and more people, who came to buy the food. now you need people to help make the food and keep track of the sales. and now you need houses for people to live in and people to make the houses and now there’s more people and they invent things which makes things better and more people come and there’s more farming and more people to make more things for more people and now there’s business, money, writing, laws, power,
coming soon to a dank river valley near you.
meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, the horse is probably being tamed.
why is all my metal so lame and lumpy?
tired of using lame, sad metal? introducing: bronze. made from special ingredient tin from the far lands of Tin Land. i dunno, my dealer won’t tell me where he gets it. also, guess what?
meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, they figured out how to put wheels on a horse. now we’re getting somewhere. also,
and did i mention
indus river valley civilization
society count: 5
the middle east is getting more complicated. maybe because it’s in the middle of the east.
knock knock, er, clop clop. it’s the… people with the horses? and they made an empire. and then everyone else copied their horses.
ah look, it must be the greeks! er, a beta version of the greeks.
let’s check in with the indus river valley civilization: they’re gone. guess who’s not gone? china.
new arrivals from india… maybe it’s those horse people i was talking about… or their cousins or something…
and they wrote some hymns and mantras and stuff…
you could make a religion out of this.
there’s the bronze age collapse.
now the phoenicians can get down to business
also, can we switch to a metal that’s a little easier to find? thanks.
look who came back to israel, it’s the twelve tribes of israel.
and they believe in God
just one though, and he’s got like a ten-step program.
here’s some huge heads. must be the olmecs.
the phoenicians make some colonies. the greeks copy their idea and make some colonies. the phoenicians made a colony so big it makes colonies.
here comes the assyrian empire. never mind, it’s the babyloni— media—
it’s the Persian Empire: “wow, that’s big”
ah, the buddha was just enlightened. who’s the buddha? this guy, who sat under a tree for so long that he figured out how to ignore the fact that we’re all dying. you could make a religion out of this.
oops, china just broke. but while it was breaking, confucius was figuring out how to have good morals.
ah, the greeks just had the idea of thinking about stuff.
and right over here, alexander just had the idea of conquering the entire persian empire. it’s a great idea. he was… great. and now he’s dead. hopefully, the rest of the gang will be able to share the empire evenly between them.
knock knock, it’s chandragupta. he says “get the hell out of here. will you get the hell out of here if i give you 500 elephants? okay, thanks, bye”
time to conquer all of india
most of india
but what about this part? that’s the tamil kings. no one conquers the tamil kings. who are the tamil kings? merchants, probably. and they’ve gotspices!
who would like to buy the spices? “me!” said the arabians, swiftly buying it and selling it to the rest of the world.
hey, china put itself back together again, with good morals as their main philosophy. actually, they have three main philosophies:
confucianism: have good morals
taoism: go with the flow
legalism: fuck you, obey the law
out here, the horse nomads run wild and free, and they would like to ransack your city.
nomads ransack china
let’s check the greekification levels of the greekified kingdoms: greekification overload.bye, said the parthians. bye, said the jews. hi, said the parthians, taking over the entire place.
heyyyyy, said the romans, eating the entire mediterranean for breakfast. “thanks for invading our homeland,” said the jews, who were starting to get tired of people invading their homeland.
“hi, everything’s great,” said some guy who seems to be getting very popular and is then arrested and killed for being too popular, which actually makes him more popular. you could make a religion out of this.
want silk? now you can buy it from china. they just made a brand new road to the world.
or you can get there on water
“sick! new trade routes!” said india, accidentally spreading their religion to the entire southeast.
hmm, that’s a good place for an epic trading kingdom.
there goes buddhism, travelling up the silk road. i wonder if it’ll reach china before it collapses again.
remember the persian empire? yep, said the persians, making a new one.
axum is getting so powerful, they would like to build a long stick.
has anyone populated madagascar yet? let’s do it together.
china is whole again…
…then it broke again
still can’t cross the sahara desert? try camels.
“hell yeah! now we’ve got business,” said the ghana empire, selling lots of gold. and slaves.
“hi, i’m a member of the roman empire, and i was wondering
is loving jesus legal yet?”
“actually, okay sure,” said constantine, moving the capital way over here to be closer to his main rival. don’t worry about rome, it won’t fall.
it’s the golden age of india
there’s the gupta empire, not chandragupta, just gupta. first name chandra. the first.
guess who’s in rome? barbarians. what’s a barbarian? “non-romans,” said the romans, being invaded by non-romans. r.i.p. roman empire. actually just half of it, the other half is just fine, but it’s not in rome anymore, so let’s give it a new name.
the mayans have figured out the stars
oh, and here’s a huge city, population: everyone.
the göktürks have taken over the entire eurasian steppe. great job, göktürks.
how’s india? broken. how’s china? back together.
how’s those trading kingdoms? bigger, and there’s more of them.
korea has three kingdoms. japan has a kingdom, it’s the sunrise kingdom.
deep in the arabian desert, on the top of a mountain, the real god whispers in muhammad’s ear. so, he goes down to the cube where everyone worships gods and he tells them their gods are all fake. and everyone got so mad at him that he had to leave town and go to a different town. you could make a religion out of this, and maybe conquer the world as well.
the roman empire is long gone, but somehow the pope is still the pope. plus, there’s new kingdoms all over europe. i wonder if there’s room for moors.
here’s all the wisdom. in a house. it’s the baghdad house of wisdom! just in time for the islamic golden age!
“let’s bring stuff to the coast and sell it, and become the swahili on the swahili coast,” said the swahili on the swahili coast.
remember this tiny space you have to go through to get from here to there? someone owns that now.
wanna get enlightened in the middle of nowhere?
the franks have the biggest kingdom in europe, and the pope is so proud that he invites the king over for christmas. “surprise! you’re the new roman emporer!” said the pope, pretending to still be part of the roman empire. then the franks broke their kingdom into what will later be called france and not-france.
the northerners, er, just “norse” if you don’t have much time, are exploring. they go north, from the north to the northern north. and they find some land— two types of land!— and they name them accordingly.
they also invade some other places and get called many names, such as “vikings.”
there’s the rus! the kievan rus! are they vikings? “i don’t think so,” said the kievan rus. okay, fair enough.
the pope is ready to make some more emperors of the roman empire. the holy roman empire! it’s actually germany, but don’t worry about it. new kingdoms—
CRISTIANIZE ALL THE KINGDOMS!!
which brand would you like?
“time to conquer england,” said william.
it’s a bird! it’s a plane! it’s the seljuk turks!
“aah!” said the byzantine empire, who’s getting so small and almost doesn’t exist anymore. “we need help!” they need help! so they call the pope.
“hey pope, can you help us get rid of the seljuks? maybe take back the holy land on the way? come on, i know you want to take back the holy land.”
“yes, i do actually want to do that. let’s do a crusade.”
they did many crusades. some of which almost didn’t fail. but at least the italians got some sweet trade deals.
goodbye mayans. hello toltecs! goodbye toltecs. hello mississippi! look at those mounds.
there’s the pueblo. i always wondered how to build a town in a cliff.
guess who’s here? khmer. where? here! and pagan is there. vietnam unconquered itself, korea just became itself, and japan is so addicted to art that the military might have to take over the government.
china just invented bombs, and typing. and the mongols just invaded most of the universe. nice going, genghis! i bet that will last a long time.
some of the islamic turks were unaffected by the mongol invasions because they were busy invading india.
is it tonga time? i think it’s tonga time.
i just figured out where the swahili gets all of their gold.
look at this chad! it means “lake.” there’s an empire there! right in the middle of africa!
the king of mali is so rich, he’s going on tour to let everyone know. “wow, that guy’s rich,” everyone said.
the christians are doing a great job reconquering iberia, which will soon be called spain and not-spain. please remain christian. we will check in later to see if you’re still christian when you least expect.
whoops, half of europe just died.
ming! china’s back, yay!
hey, khmer. time to share. new kingdoms, here and there.
oh, look who controls all of the islands. it’s the mahajapit.
oh, italy’s real rich. time for them to care a lot about art and the ancient classics. it’s kinda like a rebirth.
here’s a printer. let’s make books!
so you think you can conquer the byzantine empire? yep, said the ottoman turks. nice job, ottoman turks. oops, you missed a spot. don’t forget to ban europe from the indian spice trade.
“what? that’s bullshit,” said portugal, spiceless.
“well i guess we’ll have to find another way to india”
“wait!” said christopher columbus, probably smoking crack. “if the world is round, let’s go this way to india.”
“nah, don’t worry, we already got this,” said portugal.
so chris goes to spain. “hey spain, wanna hire me to find india by going around back of the world?”
so he sails into the ocean, and discovers… more ocean. and then discovers the indies, and japan! let’s draw a line to decide who gets which half of the world.
the aztec and the inca empires are off to a great start. i wonder if they know that europe just discovered their continent.
the hapsburgs are marrying into so many royal families, they might have to start marrying each other.
move over, lithuania, here comes moscow. ivan wants to make russia great again.
move over, timurids, maybe go invade india or something. persia just made persia persian again.
let’s make it the other kind of islam. the one where we thought the first guy should’ve been the other guy.
hey, christians! do you sin? now you can buy your way out of hell!
“that’s bullshit. this whole thing is bullshit. that’s a scam. fuck the church. here’s 95 reasons why,” said martin luther, in his new book which might have accidentally started the protestant reformation.
“you know what would be magnificent?” said suleiman wearing an onion hat. “what if the ottoman empire was… really big?” which it is now.
“what if russia was big?” said ivan, trying not to be terrible.
portugal had a dream that they controlled the entire indian ocean, including the spice trade. and then that dream was real.
and spain realized that this is not india, but they pillaged it anyway. “damn,” said england and france. “we gotta start pillaging some stuff.” then the dutch revolt, and all the hipsters moved to amsterdam. “damn,” said amsterdam. “we gotta start pillaging some stuff.”
question one: can you get to india from north america? no, but at least there’s beaver.
question two: steal the spice trade. that’s not a question, but the dutch did it anyway.
and sugar… guess where all of the sugar is made? in brazil! stolen! in the caribbean! and it’s so goddamn profitable, you might forget to not do slavery.
the next thing on russia’s to-do list is to get bigger.
britain and france are having a friendly discussion about who should control the entire world. more specifically, ohio. then it escalates into a seven-year discussion, giving prussia a chance to show austria who’s boss. but what about britain and france, did they figure out who’s boss? yes they did! it’s britain.
guess who’s broke? also britain! so they start taxing the hell out of america. “fuck you!” says america, declaring their independence and fighting for it, and france helps them win. now france is broke, and britain will have to send their prisoners to a different continent.
wait, if france is broke, why do the king and queen still wear such fancy dresses?
“let’s overthrow the palace and cut all their heads off!” said robespierre, cutting everybody’s heads off until someone eventually got mad and cut his head off.
you could make a rel— no, don’t.
haiti is starting to like the idea of a revolution, especially the slaves, who free themselves by killing their masters. “why didn’t we think of this before?”
wait, who’s in charge of france now? “me,” said napoleon, trying to take over europe. luckily, they banished him to an island. but he came back!luckily, they banished him to another island.
there goes latin america, becoming independent in the latin american wars of independence.
britain just figured out how to turn steam into power, so now they can make many different types of machines and factories with machines in them so they can make a lot of products real fast. then they invent some trains. and conquer india and maybe put some trains there.
“hey, china!” said britain. “buy stuff from us!” “nah, dude, we already got everything,” says china. so britain tried to get them addicted to opium, which worked, actually. but then china made it illegal and dumped it all into the sea. so britain threw a hissy fit and made them open up five cities and give them an island.
britain and russia are playing a game where they try to stop the other person from conquering afghanistan.
also, the sultan of oman lives in zanzibar now:“that’s just where he lives.”
india just had a revolution, and they would like to govern themselves now. “nope,” said britain, governing them even harder than before.
incoming telegram: HI I JUST SENT YOU A MESSAGE THRU A WIRE
technology is about to go crazy!
the united states finally figured out whether slavery is good or bad. it’s bad, they decided, and then they continued manifesting their destiny, which is to kill the rest of the natives and take their land and maybe kick out the mexicans too.
“i know! let’s rape africa!” said europe, scrambling to see who could rape it the fastest. they never got ethiopia…
britain and france are still hungry. they never got thailand…
the united states ran out of destiny to manifest, so they’re looking for more:
wait, spain controls cuba.
well, blame something on them and go to war! what should we blame on spain?
u.s.s. maine sinks
“let’s blame the maine on spain.”
so they blame the maine on spain.
now we’re in business.
to celebrate, they kick panama out of panama and make a canal, connecting the two oceans.
britain just found oil in the middle east. it makes cars go…
china is so tired of being bossed around that they delete their old government and make a new, stronger government, which is accidentally weaker and is controlled by a guy from the previous government.
europe hasn’t had a war since the last war, so they start world war one. look at those guns! it’s gonna be a great war, so great we won’t need a second one. after it’s over, they blame germany.
russia went on strike, and the workers overthrew the government. now, everyone’s paycheck is the same. communism in the soviet union…
the arabs revolt and britain helps. now the ottoman empire is gone, so we can give the jewish people a place to live. hopefully the arabs won’t mind.
“let’s cut the cake!” said sykes and picot, carving up the remains of the not-so-ottoman-anymore-empire.
except turkey! turkey makes a brand new turkey!
and then the saudis conquer arabia. it just seemed like the right thing to do.
hello? yes, it’s the 1920’s calling. let’s get to a car and drive to a party and listen to jazz on the radio and go to the movies. the economy is great and it will probably be great forever. just kidding.
germany’s back, featuring hitler, the angry mustache model, and he’s mad at the jews for existing.
japan is finally conquering the east, and they’re so excited, they rape nanking way too hard. they should probably just deny it.
hitler’s out of control, so the international community tackles him and tries to explain to him why killing all of the jews is a bad idea. but he kills himself because they could explain it to him. that’s world war two!
bonus round! pacific showdown
united states vs. japan
united states drops two extinction balls on japan
let’s unite all the nations and have some world peace! seems legit.
“hi, im gandhi, and if britain doesn’t get the hell out of india, i’m going to starve myself in public.”
“wow, that worked?”
bonus! now there’s pakistan. actually two pakistans, one of them can be bangladesh later.
the jews and the arabs finally figured out which one of them should live in the holy land. “me!” they both said at the same time. let’s divide up the lands so we’re both happy. SIKE! they both get angrier!
look out, china! there’s a new china in china. what’s on the menu? communism! no thanks, said the other china, escaping to an island. i wonder which one is the real china…?
there’s the korean war. korea versus korea! nobody wins, then its on pause forever.
let’s meet the sponsors. oh, it’s the two global superpowers. they’re having a friendly debate over which economic system is good and which one is an evil virus of satan. and they both have atom bombs. FIGHT!! wait, no, that would be the end of the world. let’s just keep it cool and spy on each other instead. and make sure we have enough atom bombs.
“i’ll race you to space.”
united states plants a flag on the moon
now let’s make more countries fight themselves.
europe is tired of pillaging other continents, and the continents they were pillaging are tired of being pillaged. so here’s a new map with new countries. now you can’t tell who they’re being pillaged by.
the united states finally decided whether racism is good or bad. they decided it’s bad, and the world agrees. south africa might need another minute to think about it.
let’s check the world population!
technology is better too, that might keep happening.
the soviet union decides to relax a little, and accidentally falls apart.
europe makes a union, so now they can all use the same money. except britain, because they don’t feel like it.
let’s check the mail… surprise! it’s on the computer!
whoops, someone just attacked america. i bet they’ll remember that.
phone call! surprise! it’s in your pocket! wanna learn everything? surprise! it’s on the computer! now your phone’s a computer, which is in your pocket!
whoops, the economy just crashed. don’t worry, the big banks won’t fail, because they’re not supposed to.
surprise!… flying robots. with bombs.
wanna print a brain?
some people have no friends. some people have no food. the globe is warming, and the ocean is full of plastic!
“let’s save the planet!” said everybody, not knowing how.
“let’s invent a thing inventor,” said the thing inventor inventor after being invented by a thing inventor. that’s pretty cool.
by the way, where the hell are we?
thanks for watching history
i hope i mentioned everything
psychic: what the fuck
Taking a look at Salvianus from skyrim, how do you think each of the playable races and cultures treat war-related PTSD?
I don’t think there’s enough lore info to answer this, and I don’t think I know enough real world info to answer this, but I’ll give it a shot anyhow. (If I say something dumb, please do correct me.)
The Imperial Legion (especially during its conquering height during Tiber’s years) recognize it as a stress response to combat and do what they can to rotate out troops and generally minimize occurrences. They do this more for strategic reasons than humane ones, however. In their later, less effective years (like, say, the 4th era) they are worse about this than they previously were. Treatment likely depends on the area - Colovians would probably be of the “work hard to take your mind off it” approach, while Nibeneans would be more likely to pray about it or go on a pilgrimage.
The Dunmer don’t run into PTSD very often (they’ve got the Morag Tong or personal duels to take care of what would fall to armies in other provinces), but, when they do, the House or the Temple provides. They’ve got powerful family networks to fall back on, and, if those aren’t available or willing to be utilized, the Temple provides for the poor and the sick.
Nords, despite being a warlike people, don’t seem to have much of a military structure, and therefore I don’t think would have systems in place to recognize and deal with PTSD in structural ways. I can see a sort of mythologizing of the effects of combat stress - “oh, that’s Ragnar, the ghosts of his victims talk to him sometimes, he’s hardcore like that.” The Nordic fondness for alcohol may be, in part, self medication.
The Khajiit and Bosmer fight a lot with each other, but have little of the sort of bigger, prolonged conflict that’s more commonly associated with PTSD. Under normal fighting conditions, I can see the Bosmer having some sort of storytelling ceremony to reintegrate into peacetime society and rid them of the baggage of combat. The Khajiit, meanwhile, I can see having a similar ceremony involving moonsugar and dreamstates. Both systems wouldn’t have been equipped to handle the Great War.
Redguards probably had a good idea of the effects of prolonged war when they first invaded Tamriel, rotating new troops as they arrived from Yokuda and giving the veterans all that conquered land to retire on. They’re at war semi-frequently amongst themselves and with their neighbors, and probably have a good idea of how to recognize and treat PTSD. They certainly have a god or three to deal with it.
The Bretons are always fighting amongst themselves, and have dedicated knights, so they’re certainly aware of PTSD as a thing. For some reason I think they’d be pretty bad at dealing with it, though. If you’re wealthy and suffer from combat stress, you’d likely become the “eccentric” aunt that’s doesn’t get to do dinner parties, or would be sent to an asylum/monastery. If you’re poor and urban, there’s a good chance you’ll end up on the streets.
I can’t really make up my mind about Orcs. I can see them being very individualistic about it, seeing it as a weakness must be overcome. I can also see them being very communal about it, taking care of the one suffering and performing rituals so that the one suffering may return to life as quickly as possible to assist the clan. As with all things Orc, it’s likely very much influenced by where in Tamriel they are and whether they are a stronghold culture, part of a city, functionally nomadic, etc. The idea of Malacath as a God of Those Who Do Not Wholly Return From War is kind of interesting to me.
With a few exceptions, Argonians don’t do much military battle, and when they do, it’s likely under the hivemind of the Hist. Therefore, they likely don’t have much experience with military PTSD. (PTSD incurred from abuse/slavery/etc. is probably a different matter). That’s all assuming that lizards who have been given sapience by trees are capable of PTSD in the first place. Treatment would probably involve licking said tree.
Niall knew this all too well. His parents were both betas, which was very controversial in his hometown, so they didn’t have any family to hold them down to any certain place. This meant they were always very nomadic, moving him from city to city, meaning he had very few friends.
By very few, he means he has a very docile fish named Nemo and that’s about it.
But this time, his parents promised him that this was the last place they would be moving. Sadly, this was one of the many places they went where Niall just didn’t fit in.
Well, personally, Niall liked Ashton and Mikey, two alphas in his grade. The boys liked Niall well enough, but there was just something about Niall that set people off. His scent was odd.
Niall’s parents told him that it was because he hadn’t shown yet, which was a very strange scent to other teens because most people showed when they were in primary school.
Niall just shrugged it off, he didn’t mind going to school that much. Though he didn’t really get along with any of the students, the teachers at his school seemed to really like Niall.
Mr. Styles, the school counselor, was the first person Niall met. His parents insited on Niall going to see Mr. Styles every Wednesday to talk about his “problems”. For some reason, his parents thought that the reason Niall hadn’t shown yet was because of their ultimately negligent upbringing and his lack of alpha influence. Niall didn’t mind too much though, Mr. Styles was the tall, handsome and charming alpha every omega and beta dreamed about. He had a slow, captivating voice that curled around every letter. He seemed to really like touching Niall. He always sat next to Niall during their meetings, a hand resting on Niall’s thigh or a hand around his neck. Niall thought maybe he was just a tactile person, but he had seen other people in meetings and Harry was always sat at his desk, so he didn’t really understand.
Mr. Tomlinson was crazy and Niall loved every second of his science class. Leaping around the class and shouting obscenities, trying to convince everyone in the class that “Chemistry can be fun!!”. He also took a special liking to Niall, it seemed. He constantly scrawled all over Niall’s paper, scribbling smiley faces and “A+++++++”’s on his homework. He often touched Niall as well, running a hand down his arm, or even flicking Niall’s forehead when he seemingly wasn’t paying attention in class.
Mr. Payne, on the other hand, was the compete opposite. Niall had heard from Mikey that the British Literature teacher was super strict and harsh on his grading. But when Niall had stumbled his way into his class, mumbling a soft apology with hunched shoulders, Mr. Payne had just rubbed a soothing hand on Niall’s back, telling the smaller boy that he had nothing to worry about. No, Niall didn’t do too well in Mr. Payne’s class, but Mr. Payne offered all of the extra help he needed. When Niall had told Mikey this, Michael had whined, telling Niall that Mr. Payne wouldn’t tutor him even when he asked. By this time, Niall was flat out flabbergasted.
Last but certainly not least, Mr. Malik. Mr. Malik was a whole different story. Mr. Malik was the art teacher, who everyone loved. From paint stained skinny jeans to perfectly styled hair, Mr. Malik was the epitome of the quiet and mysterious type. He often told Niall to stay back after class, gripping Niall’s hand softly as he showed him the proper technique to hold a paint brush. Sometimes the older man’s breath would lightly hit against Niall’s ear, resulting in a shiver and a blush on the younger. Niall didn’t even know what was going on anymore.
It all came together on a Friday.
It was the day after Niall’s parents had decided they were tired of dreary old Bradford and decided to go on a 10-day adventure to Brighton. Of course they had offered to bring Niall, but the kid was just beginning to get comfortable in his new home, so they decided to let the boy stay home alone.
They would’ve never done this if they had thought Niall was going to be an omega. For goodness sakes, there was a 90% chance that Niall was going to turn out a beta! Even after that, there was only a 3% chance that he would turn out to be a male omega. They were so sure that he was going to be just like his own parents that they just up and left him alone at the end of the month.
Only problem, Niall isn’t so sure anymore.
He wakes up in a cold sweat. The moment he moves to sit up he lets out a loud, involuntary whimper. He claps a hand against his mouth, eyes wide with surprise. He feels a stirring in his pants and yeah, he’s half hard.
‘What the hell?’ Niall thinks to himself as he gets into the shower, which is set completely to the cold side. Sure, Niall has had morning woods before, but he feels a pain in his backside that just doesn’t feel natural.
Shaking it off, Niall gets out of the shower, does his hair, brushes his teeth and goes to put on clothes.
Another surprise is when Niall begins to pull up his briefs, and he’s hard again.
Niall’s face is screwed up in utter confusion and dismay. He has no time to do anything about it. He even considers staying home, but his parents would definitely find out and he can’t just– Niall groans as he pulls the briefs over his hardening member.
As soon as he pulls his joggers on, hoping that the bagginess in the waist will conceal his problem, he pulls on a large tee, grabs his backpack and runs for the bus.
* * * *
Niall is really regretting his decision to go to school.
He’s been sweating for his entire first hour, and the alpha boys in his class are giving him questionably sexual gazes. Niall shudders, keeping their gaze, kind of wishing one of them would just stick their c–
‘what. the. hell.’
Niall bolts up the second the bell rings, making a run for the office, ready to fake sick and get home as quickly as possible.
It isn’t until, “Hey, I’m talking to you, bitch!” some asshole yells in Niall’s face as he shoves him up against the wall.
Niall’s eyes are crinkled in confusion. Bitch was a word people only used for omegas…
Niall’s eyes widen in realization. “Fuck.” He says lowly, but it comes out as a whimper and Niall realizes it’s because the guy is pushing his bum roughly against the brick wall and–
“You better let him go right now or you’re going to regret it.” A dark, dangerous voice growls and Niall mewls loudly.
Niall watches as the boy who was holding him whimpers in fear of the obviously stronger alpha challenging him. The boy scrambles away, basically sprinting from the area.
“Fuck, Niall.” Niall hears and he looks over to see Mr. Payne looking back at him, a hungry, desperate look in his eyes.
Niall nods in agreement. “Yes, fuck Niall.”
‘WHAT THE HELL’
Mr. Payne lets out a huff of air, looking like he was using every once of self-control to not do just that.
“Niall you need to go home, let me call your parents.”
Niall shakes his head “They aren’t home. 10 more days.”
Mr. Payne looks vicious. “They left you alone at the end of the month? Who’s supposed to defend you?”
Niall whines. “Didn’t know I was an omega. We don’t even have an alpha in my family.” He doesn’t want to think about that. Mr. Payne’s a perfect candidate for a mate, it’s only natural for Niall’s omega to want him.
Niall’s family wouldn’t be sufficient for him anymore. Every omega needed an alpha in the household to protect them from crazed alphas trying to fuck them whilst in their monthly heat. Obviously, Niall didn’t have that.
‘Yet.’ the omega within him reminded.
“Fuck. Okay.” Mr. Payne says, grabbing Niall up in his arms and rushing him out into the parking lot.
Niall whines, biting the exposed skin at his neck, wanting to drown in the scent of a horny alpha.
“No, Niall. Behave.” Mr. Payne orders, his alpha tone in place. He places Niall in the car, buckling him in the car tightly before getting on the phone.
“Haz, Call the others– Niall’s gone into heat– I know that– Just trust me–Haz, Haz! If you don’t bring the others home quickly, then I’ll be fucking him without you lot– Don’t try me.” The teacher says, pulling out of the parking lot and speeding down the road without glancing at Niall once.
Niall doesn’t say a word, wanting to behave like his alpha commanded, but he couldn’t help but moan at the image of Mr. Payne fucking him. Niall was panting by the time they arrived at a large apartment building. The teacher grabbed the small, sweaty boy and immediately began jogging up the stairs, stopping at a door on the 5th floor. The apartment was large, and the teacher pushed Niall onto the couch.
Niall mewed at the sight of the alpha standing over him, looking incredibly dominant. “Mr. Payne–”
“You can call me Liam, Niall, or daddy, even sir. Whichever you prefer. That goes for everyone, by the way.” Liam says with a smirk on his face. “Take off your shirt, baby.”
Niall doesn’t hesitate, not even asking who “everyone” is, obeying instantly, pulling the large shirt off and kicking his shoes off hastily.
Just as he’s looking back at Liam for permission to take off the rest of his clothes, three more familiar faces burst through the door of the apartment. It takes Niall a moment to recognize the smell and sight of his art and science teacher and his counselor. They all stare at the half naked boy for a moment until their unbearable alpha scent hits the blonde and he wails. He can feel his empty hole stretching and gaping, just begging to be filled. He can feel himself rutting against the couch, digging his nails into his thighs, tears filling his eyes in need and exasperation.
“Fuckin’ shit.” Mr. Tomlinson gasps.
“Get him into the bedroom.” Liam says, grabbing up Niall’s discarded clothes and folding them quickly, motioning towards the other three.
Zayn and Harry haul Niall off, dragging him off towards the bedroom, which is adorned by a bed that must’ve been larger than a king-sized. Niall’s thrown onto the bed, whining loudly and writing around desperately searching for any kind of contact.
“Where’s Liam?” Louis asks excitedly, already climbing onto the bed and grasping Niall’s wrists together above his head, enjoying the way he struggled and sniveled.
“Right here.” Liam says, walking into the room and dropping a heavy box onto the floor next to the bed. Liam grins at Harry, who looks overwhelmed and terribly excited, and undoes the tie wrapped around his neck, throwing the soft piece of fabric to Zayn, who climbs on top of the boy who is wriggling in Louis’ grasp. Zayn sits on the boy’s chest, who cranes his neck, trying to get closer so that he could maybe dig his face into the art teacher’s crotch. He just wanted something. Anything. Zayn tied the tie around the boys wrists tightly, then pulled it to tie around the headboard, securing the boy in place.
Louis grinned at the other alpha’s handy-work. “Nice, babe.” He says, pulling the tanned boy to an open mouthed kiss right above Niall’s face. Niall sobbed, thrashing around underneath the boys. Harry and Liam both let out breathless laughs. “Enough teasing, boys.” Liam says, as Harry pulls down the boys joggers and briefs, letting them twist around the boys legs. With the boys cock completely on display in the cold air, the boys all laugh as Niall begins bucking as well as he can, trying to get any relief.
Harry shakes his head at the boy, shoving three of his fingers in front of Niall’s face tauntingly. Niall cried out, opening his mouth as wide as it would go, understanding completely what he had to do. Harry relented, only for a second, just allowing the tips of his fingers into the boys’ needy mouth, before going over to the other side of the bed, pulling Niall’s legs and positioning them up in the air. After a nod of approval from the rest of the boys, Harry pressed the first finger into Niall’s self-lubricating hole. Niall screamed, trying to press back and fuck himself onto Harry’s long finger, but Harry wouldn’t let him, pulling back every time he got close. Louis finally felt pity on the younger boy, pulling down his own boxers and taking Zayn’s place on Niall’s chest and waving his fully hard prick in front of Niall’s tear-streaked face. Niall’s mouth fell open immediately, tongue stuck out and eyes closed as Louis began fucking into his willing mouth. Liam and Zayn watched with lust-filled eyes as Niall’s pink little mouth stretched around Louis’ engorged cock. Smirking at each other, Liam and Zayn take their places attacking each other’s mouths, fighting for dominance in a never ending cycle, only stopping to watch Harry finger-fucking Niall. Niall moaned around Louis’ member severely, feeling Harry stick another finger into his bum.
“Daddy.” Niall whined loudly, obviously surprising everyone in the room as he felt each of the alphas’ aura flare dangerously.
“Fuck!” Louis growled, pulling out of the boys mouth before he came prematurely.
Harry seemed to spur on, encouraged by the too-too hot words coming from the young boys’ mouth. He brought another finger into their boys’ little hole, leaning forward and whispering, “You like that, you little whore? You just love being your daddies’ little slut, huh?” Harry growls, his words turning everyone on even more.
Niall nodded, mouth now empty and wanted. “Yes! Yes! Daddy Daddy, sir, oh my god.” He whimpers, completely unable to function any longer.
Harry takes his fingers back, not even bothering to look to the other boys before plunging his cock deep inside the needy omega in front of him. Niall cries out, mewling desperately pulling against the ties, “Bite me, Bite, Please, Claim me! Alpha! Daddy!”
Harry doesn’t even try to hold off on coming, he had spent too many nights dreaming of this very moment, he unclenches his jaw and sinks his elongated teeth into the junction between Niall’s shoulder and neck. Niall lets out a silent moan, cumming instantly, clenching around Harry’s already releasing member.
Louis shoves Harry away as soon as he’s licked over the wound, taking place in front of the moaning boy, shoving his dick into the somehow still tight hole, and reveling in Niall’s gasp of “Too much, daddy, daddy, Alpha!” Louis growls.
“Oh, princess, you take it real good, yeah? Real good for your daddies.”
Niall nods as vigorously as he can, bucking up against Louis’ abdomen, already hard again. “Yes, yes! I’ll be so good daddies, dad– OH, god!” Niall whines as Louis hits his prostate over and over in a burst of energy, cumming right in Niall, biting right over Harry’s-already-healing bite. Niall whines, feeling himself cum once again.
Panting harshly, tears and sweat mixing on his cheeks, Niall needs more.
Niall can’t even focus when Zayn mounts him, Louis is shoving his tongue into the younger boys throat, drinking in the boys scent and the engulfing way he could smell himself and Harry within the boy. He would finally be theirs.
Niall finds him self pushing down against Zayn’s huge cock, moaning into Louis’ mouth for the tan boy to go harder and faster, hating the quiet and calm way Zayn was slowly fucking into the needy omega.
Zayn continued to take his time, warning the boy lightly, “Be patient, baby boy.” When Niall whines out once, Zayn delivers a hard smack to the boys already red bum. Niall whimpers even louder, making all of the boys raise their eyebrows. “Oh, what was that, does the baby like it when daddy smacks his pretty little arse?” Zayn teases, making Niall whine in embarrassment, still nodding. Zayn grins devilishly, smacking against the boys ass once more, not prepared when the boy cums on impact. The clench around his cock sets Zayn off, a bit before he had intended, making him surge forward and bit into the same area as the other two alphas.
Niall is breathing heavily at this point, overstimulated and still not sated, still squirming around as Harry and Louis attack his nipples, pinching and sucking as Zayn takes over kissing the boys tiny little mouth.
Liam grins, stalking forward as if Niall was his prey. Niall whines, eyes trained on the usually kind-looking man.
Liam pulls Niall’s legs up against his shoulders as soon as he hits the bed, pressing his tongue flat against Niall’s stretched hole.
Niall mewls out, already begging for Liam. Liam doesn’t have it in him to continue his torture, and decides to save rimming for another day. “Alright princess.” Liam mutters, pressing his cock into the boy, slowly like Zayn.
Watching all of his mates torturing their new omega slowly and cruely, Liam began fucking into the blonde, relishing in every moan and mew coming from the boy. Every slow, dedicated thrust hit against the boys small bundle of nerves perfectly and Niall just couldn’t take it anymore. He whined, “Daddy, daddy, I’ve been good, please, please, daddies? I’ve been good, Bite me, bite me, please, daddy, daddy–” And Liam can’t just be unaffected by that. Liam groans loudly as he unloads his seed within the boy, biting into the same place as all of the other boys and licking it so it would heal into a nice scar. Niall screamed, cumming for the last time, his chest smeared with white and the bed spread beneath them dripping with sweat and cum.
“Well.” Louis says, laughing out loud.
Liam joins in after, and Zayn and Harry do as well. As for Niall, well, he looks knackered, but he has a lazy smile on his face, eyes nearly closed.
“I’m an omega.” He says, nodding to himself and they all bust out into laughter again.
“Really? I wasn’t so sure…” Harry laughs, and then goes to nuzzle into the boys’ shoulder. kissing the painful looking bites surrounding that area.
“I’m you guys’ omega… all of yours’?” He asks hesitantly, looking up at us with a tilt to his head that is the most adorable thing ever.
All of the alphas coo, “Yeah.” Zayn nods along with the rest of them
“Your ours, Niall. No one elses.” Harry grins, a bit possessively.
Liam agrees, “No one else can touch you, okay? I don’t think they’d dare try, seeing as you have 4 powerful alpha claims on you… but if they try you run and find us, alright.”
Niall nods lazily, and Liam thinks he’ll need to give this lecture again in the morning. “Yours.” Niall says, cuddling into the nearest person who just so happens to be Harry.
Louis nods, “Ours.”
Niall wasn’t too sure what he was going to tell his parents– or anyone really, when they figured out about him being an omega– or what he was going to do when they figured out that he had 4 alphas now, who were his teachers. But at least for now, it didn’t matter. He had his alphas curled around him, whispering things like “ours” and “never letting you go” and everything was alright. He had another 10 days before all hell may break loose.
:( :( :(
Was that bad? Idek. I tries, okay? It’s like 1:50am and I’m tired and upset about 1d right now and and and this made me feel better. I hope this helps everyone who’s sad about OT5 rn. I love you all <3