noir-movies

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Alfred Hitchcock Presents Lamb to the Slaughter. (1958) - YouTube

One of the best short films ever made. And it got to the point of Roald Dahl’s story.

“I’ve killed him. What do I do now?”  She is anxious and scared through this entire thing. 

The cops vaguely suspect something. Then she literally makes them eat the evidence. 

The way she giggles to herself at the end. She’s won. She knows she has.

As a child, this story terrified me.

some ladynoir stuff
  • chat noir will drape himself over ladybug’s lap during the downtime on their nightly patrols and moan about how awful plagg is just for some head scratches from ladybug (let’s be honest, plagg taught the kitty well; complain and receive cheese/ladybug)
  • they once spent an afternoon atop the notre dame after an akuma attack critiquing civilian’s fashion choices. both learned that their partner has excellent taste in fashion.
    • ladybug: “oh my god is that a man bun? those things should be burned.”
    • chat noir: “who the hell wears crocs anymore? they look like shit, and they make your feel smell. god, shoes have three deciding factors: quality, price, and style. crocs have the rare combination of being expensive, poor quality, and being ugly. it’s quite a feat for one shoe to suck this much. i will judge anyone who wears crocs.”
  • ladybug uses chat noir as a mannequin to measure some of her designs during their downtime. 
  • there are frequent arguments over akuma names because some are too stupid to say aloud. ladybug believes in creativity and free will and vows to let the akumas keep the names they declare themselves with. chat noir files petitions to change many of them because he absolutely refuses to admit he nearly got beat by a Mr. Pigeon.
  • if ladybug and chat noir are literally anywhere together outside in public without an akuma, someone’ll always ask, “are you two together? are you on a date?”. chat has to hold ladybug back from clobbering them.
  • during their stakeouts, chat noir sings “99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall” and has gotten to 1 before, even though it usually ends up with him getting pitched off a roof.
  • one early morning, there was an akuma battle, and chat noir learned that ladybug has bad bed head. he makes sure to keep a comb in his pocket now at all times for whenever there’s an early battle, and ladybug doesn’t have time to fix her hair before going to school. she doesn’t say it, but she’s really thankful. (also really jealous because tikki, pockets, give me pockets, god fucking damn it)
  •  one time there was a mermaid akuma in the seine and chat noir fell in the water and revealed he couldn’t swim. ladybug saved him and made him take swimming lessons. nothing beats coming to sunday morning swimming lessons and finding one of paris’s famous superheros with floaties and a kick board.
    • you can bet your ass that ladybug constantly makes “a cat to water” jokes every second she can.
  • ladybug keeps a tally of how many puns chat noir makes. his gets to 162 in one night before she sets a limit of 10 puns per day. he breaks it all the time and has to wear the Collar of Shame™ for the rest of the day, which is black collar with a huge pink bow. (ladybug thinks he secretly likes it).
  • chat noir actually hates ladybug’s puns and buys her the “Punning for Dummies” book for Christmas.
    • she gets him “31 Ways Not To Be A Douchebag”.
  •  ladybug doesn’t actually know how to use a real yo-yo. chat noir laughs for two weeks.
  •  ladybug and chat noir regularly attend movies as themselves because no one really knows why the superheroes are going to the movies, but it probably means there’s an akuma or something equally bad so let’s just not go. it just means they get the best seats every time.
  • sometimes when they’re really tired and stressed out, and ladybug is being bossy and chat noir is fed up with hearing it, he’ll say, “okay, deborah” which causes her to pitch him off the eiffel tower.
  • chat noir can never get into a hammock. he always flips over every time he tries to get on one.
  • one time ladybug flubbed a back handspring, and the news stations got it live. chat noir plays it on repeat for a week.
The Bros Mario: Noir

A few months ago I was trying to think of a way I could re-imagine the characters from my favorite Nintendo series. The Bros Mario Noir is a series that takes the characters from the colorful world of Super Mario Bros and throws them into a dark, gritty world inspired by classic film noir movies.

Detective Mario

Police Commissioner Toad

Peach Toadstool

Detective Luigi

Daisy

Wendy O

Sir Mouser

Kingpin Koopa & Peach

Daisy & Luigi

Mario

Peach

The Mario Bros

Humphrey Bogart, 1941, a publicity photo for The Maltese Falcon

“I’m not good-looking. I used to be but not any more. Not like Robert Taylor. What I have got is I have character in my face. It’s taken an awful lot of late nights and drinking to put it there. When I go to work in a picture, I say, ‘Don’t take the lines out of my face. Leave them there.’ “

“Back when we met he’d gone by Rex Glass, and within two days he’d stolen a lot of junk from me. A key, a mask, a kiss, and… Eh, forget it. Not this time. I wasn’t gonna fall for it this time.”

yet another noir mockup for @thepenumbrapodcast - ignore the misspelling, im very tired