noir by numbers

today i thought of the actual Worst miraculous ladybug fake dating au ever

so ladybug and chat noir exchange phone numbers (let’s say adrien and marinette don’t already have each other’s) and o/c ladybug says only to call her in an emergency but then chat is like “you didn’t say anything about texting so check out this meme”

anyway so it goes on and they actually end up texting constantly and grinning at their phones the entire time. 

and alya notices. she notices them both doing this at the exact same time. so of course now she thinks they’re secretly dating.

she confronts marinette and of course marinette has no better explanation, and neither does adrien when alya gets nino to ask him about it

so now adrien and marinette are pretending to be secretly dating to cover up their secret identities but they also haven’t told each other that they’re pretending to be secretly dating so they’re secretly pretending to be secretly dating to cover up their secret identities.

plagg: “you morons. you absolute morons.”

pleahy97  asked:

Is Jazz music a legitimate staple in film noir? I've only heard it used in Chinatown and Blade Runner, which are more neo-noir than anything. It seems like such a popular thing affiliated with Noir but I've yet to legitimately come across it.

Jazz is not to be found in the non-diegetic music of classic film noir. Most 1940s and 1950s noir feature traditional soundtracks for the period. Neo-noir is more about jazz, probably because both classic noir (which neo-noir typically looks back on as a source of inspiration and nostalgia) and jazz music are associated with modernism, I guess. I think there are a few classic noirs which feature a jazz number or two– like as in the main character is a singer or musician, or they go to a night club. Kiss Me Deadly from 1955 has a scene with a woman singing a jazzy blues number at a club, but that’s the only example I can think of right off the bat.

But yeah, the whole “sexy saxophone accompanying the entrance of the femme fatale” thing isn’t to be found in classic noir movies. It’s more of an addition we have looking back on film noir. I have no idea where it exactly came from.