nobodys nothing

the most telling thing about the political climate this year is that usually my dash is filled with 4th of July posts by now but there’s been absolutely nothing… like nobody can even find the strength to post ironic eagle memes are you guys alright over there

the concept of a healslut is fucking hilarious to me because have you ever fucking played a healer

have you ever met a healer

healers are almost always the saltiest, angriest people in any given group comp and there is nothing and nobody we hate more than someone that makes us do our goddamn jobs and actually heal
we are angry little balls of spite who will stop healing you if you’re being stupid or pissing us off because we hold the key to life and death in our hands and more importantly fuck you

what im saying is if you’re going to try and eroticize the healer/tank dynamic, the healer is not the submissive party here

Great lines from Pokemon main series games:

  • “It’s a switch. Press it?” [Yes] “Who wouldn’t?”
  • “You daft codger, your mask’s absurd!”
  • “This is bad! Badbadbadbadbadbadbad! Bad for Team Plasma! Or Plasbad for short!”
  • “Judge an Egg?! That’s a tall order even for me!” 
  • “The train hasn’t come in… I know! I’ll carry the passengers on my back! That won’t work.” 
  • “The way it works is blah blah… radioactive energy blah blah… blah blah blah infrared technology… blah blah blah…” 
  • [Name] paid an outrageous ¥500 and bought the Magikarp… 
  • “I am at this hotel now.”
  • “I’m the Team Skull boss, and I’ve never been scared of nothing or nobody. Heck, I live my life making people scared of ME! So listen to what big bad Guzma has to say… Y'all are stupid!”
  • “I CAN’T STOP SHOUTING! I THINK I’LL FREEZE IF I DO!”
  • “Today’s smell check of our beds is done! They’re fine. They smell good.”
  • “You dim-witted…dense…dumb…daft…dippy…dorky…doltish DOOFUS!!!“
  • DDDDDDDDDDOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!
  • “Whoops, dropped my balls.”
  • “Verily has it been our most treasured possession, since I happened to pick it up in a shop a week ago. Or two weeks, mayhap!” 
  • “I need to find a way to get more into the character of a Pokémon… maybe I should get the Day Care to raise me?” 
  • “My Hiker friend was so pleased by your right answer that he simply had to battle you! Come, my fine Hiker!”
  • “This pretty Pokemon looks just like me when I was younger. Right when I said that, my husband spewed the coffee he was drinking. Did I say something funny?” 
  • “You compare ME, Tabitha, the next Chief Admin of Team Magma, to a Makuhita?! You’d better at least make it a Hariyama!”
  • “Truly marvelous! And also a bridge!”
  • “I’m not stuck! It’s just that a pleasantly cool breeze drifts through here.”
  • “Lighthouse Point: The point that has a lighthouse.” 
Best Pun Ever

Mallory and Mark Kensington were two star struck lovers who had been married for 12 years. Mallory was a commercial airline pilot and Mark was the captain of a nuclear submarine. They were both very responsible with their money, lived simply, had no children, and no vices. The only exception to their frugality was their dog Max whom they doted on at every possible occasion. Unfortunately for Max, fate had terrible plans in store for him. One dark August day, Mallory and Mark were both at their respective jobs and in a cruel twist of fate suffered major mechanical failures at the same time. In a million to one oddity, they both perished in the astonishing first-of-its-kind airplane/submarine accident.

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Accept that sometimes people walk around with a false perception of who you are. Keep doing your own thing and being the best version of yourself that you can be. Believe in the people who know who you are, and let go of all the rest.

Things I love about each type!! based on multiple personal experiences

ENFJ love: You genuinely care about your family. You’re softies. You have a way of making everyone listen to you and believe you, no matter what. That inspires an inner leader in me, well done. You’re usually great at making friends and meeting new people.

ENFP love: You are energetic when around people you like, which is almost all the time. I see you have a longing to deeply connect with people. You are attracted to people that you want to be, or have qualities you wish you had. You are intelligent, so stop acting dumb. My time spent with you is never wasted, I always learn something, and feel loved. Thanks for the brilliant and accurate compliments btw.

ENTJ love: You are strong. I can say evil and inappropriate things in front of you that would be considered socially strange and you either add on to it or laugh, rather than calling the police or my therapist. You are passionate. You secretly want people to like you instead of just follow you.

ENTP love: We don’t have conversations, we have discussions. It’s beautiful. I’ve never heard you engage in small talk. Your emotions are intense. I love how all you do is argue and debate and invent. I need you in my life.

ESFJ love: You are the most loyal and caring people I’ve ever met. You just want to have fun, and make sure everyone else is having fun. You cry openly, but loathe doing it. Despite what you think, people like you, okay? You are likable. Also, learn to turn your back on people who turn their back on you.

ESFP love: Nothing will stop you. NOTHING. Nobody could survive the way you do. You have endless energy and love. You are deeper than the internet says. You people have inspiring messages, and you’re never done saying yes. Everyone knows your name.

ESTJ love: You’re bluntness inspires me. You are true to yourself. You won’t let things get you down. You are trustworthy. You don’t care about popular society norms. You are crazy and hilarious, your quotes are memorable. Fabulous story tellers. Fucking brave, ruthless, and metal as fuck.

ESTP love: The perfect amount of sadistic. Reliable and loyal. You are strangely seductive and charming. You know what you want. Decisive.

INFJ love: I want to be more like you. I’ve always been drawn to you people. You are incredibly organised. The definition of saying nothing and thinking about everything. You have a likeness for the strange and for the antique. Old souls.

INFP love: Attracted to the fucked up things in the world. Wallow in your own sadness swamp, and don’t want to get me involved. You guys always put others before you. Way too selfless.

INTJ love: The way you think. You make people worried, angry, and laugh without trying. In fact, you have no clue what you do that makes them feel that way. Keep going.

INTP love: You are mental. You have an amazing brain but you don’t train it hard enough. Smarter than people think. Generally funny.

ISFJ love: I love that when you are angry or drunk you guys are always the boss. Great leaders because you see what you’re capable of and cater to people specifically. Will do anything for the people you love, or people who are going through a shitty time.

ISFP love: You live in beautiful spaces. You keep to yourselves. I love that you guys love me. Somehow you see the best in people. You are all secretly emo.

ISTJ love: I actually trust you. If someone tells you something or if you see or hear something you aren’t supposed to, you keep it to yourself even if people hound you for it. A brilliant friend, you won’t lie to them. Interested in things that make you think. Strong moral compass.

ISTP love: Soft, yet hard. Extremely quiet, but when you speak and contribute you make everything better. Problem solvers. Disappears all the time, people don’t question it anymore. Really hard to hate.

 written by an INTJ female

Things I hate about each type!! based on multiple personal experiences 

when your buddy gets white girl wasted and then says ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about it the next day, not even a, “hey I don’t remember what happened last night, can you fill me in???” this means they are embarrassed and Don’t Want to Talk About It and it is common courtesy to not bring it up. this is why nobody said anything to yuuri about the banquet outright until it got brought up in ep 10 obvs obvs what good party buddies all those skaters are :)

ok so I just finished listening to the howl’s moving castle and it was the GREATEST THING like I don’t even need to gay it up that’s how great it was but then there was the difference in character in howl between the movie and the book and @ibijau said the movie howl is how howl probably think he is which led to the GREATEST IDEA that the movie is how howl tells the story to his kids when sophie isn’t here like

  • other women ??, what other women I have never courted a single other woman than your mom ha ha hhhaaa
  • I was so smooth tbh i was the smoothest tall and handsome
  • ok there was the green slime incident ok but like it was TOTALLY not about another girl not finding me hot enough to drop at my feet n o i was never LIKE THAT
  • btw I saw through sophie’s curse straight away haha
  • oh yeah I think sophie had a sister ??? y e a h i think i remember she was named lettie I remember because I’m very careful about remembering stuff about sophie like the number of her sisters or their name.
  • “oh god, michael was like, a baby at the time. Like. He was probably eight or something.” “I was fifteen” “were you ? im probably thinking of some other child idk maybe it was marco” “there never w… whatever”
  • my room was full of cool shit so much cool shit don’t touch my room
  • oh yeah we… totally befriended the witch of the waste y e a h nobody died or nothing also I did cool stuff to stop a war like cool shit like full body transformation !!! and never into a dog I WOULD NEVER
  • nobody was ginger ever ginger is terrible
  • nobody ever had pink hair either
  • and I NEVER WAS DRUNK A DAY IN MY LIFE I SWEAR
  • family what family ha watchamean i never had a family
  • I NEVER TOOK POSES
  • AND I SEDUCED YOUR MOM ON THE FIRST TIME I MET HER OK BY BEING REALLY COOL AND TOTALLY NOT HOLDING A GUITAR I DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO PLAY
  • yeah and yeah I’m the only wizard in the family, yeah sophie does some shady stuff sometimes but. I’m the wizard ok. is she called sorceress sophie ??? no she’s called mommy sophie there’s a reason I’M THE WIZARD OK KIDS
  • I think.. we had a dog… at some point…
  • i never relied on a charmed suit to seduce anyone, ever
  • *sobbing* my beloved teacher never died it was a lie

i love those kinky nalu official arts mashima drew as much as the next fan, but seeing people talk about it as if that’s what made nalu canon is really annoying. 

you know what made nalu canon? all the amazing, countless “more than friends, less than lovers” moments between them since they first met and became a team. the teasing from fairy tail about their relationship. natsu falling on lucy after the war, telling her “i’m home” and lucy responding with “welcome home”. natsu calling lucy precious to him. the finale, where he promised they’d be together forever. natsu literally losing himself and turning into a demon over lucy’s “death”, almost killing one of his best friends in the process. the relief on their faces when they finally reunited. natsu and lucy willing to do absolutely anything if it means they can protect each other. the entirety of dragon cry. natsu, lucy, and happy being a family and finding comfort in each other, worrying for each other, because this is their home.

that’s what made nalu canon. the bdsm roleplay was just a great bonus.

Wouldn’t it be great if Civil War involved absolutely no romantic subplot whatsoever?