nobodys got time for that

“Dude, you’re crushing on Keith? I heard from someone that he’s ace.”
“Yeah, he is. Isn’t that amazing? He’s so wonderful and he loves aliens, too.”

Because Ace Keith who loves to read is my jam. /o/ Redbubble

Advice to young fans and young fandoms: You don’t have to let creator Q&A reveals of “canon” spoil your fun with fanfic and fan art. You’ll be a lot happier in the long run if you don’t give in to the idea that you have to retcon all your fan works and tear down blog posts about your headcanons every time a creator lets slip some “fact” online or at a convention.

It’s early in the morning and nobody will probably read this but I just had the greatest ‘humans are space orcs’ idea

Imagine if humans are the only species that experiences impatience.

Think about it. Most prey animals are extremely patient. Ever meet a deer or a rabbit in the woods and hold still to try and out-wait the thing? I can guarantee your brain starts sending bored bored bored messages very quickly, and your instincts start telling you to give up and find something else to do. Humans can do the patience thing- as evidenced by our endurance hunting methods- but our instincts tell us not to. Correct me if I’m wrong, but this feels like a predator development. I have the idea that if aliens are mostly prey-based, and we’re predator-based, then the aliens will be very patient and we just aren’t.

As an evolutionary development, being impatient can be brilliant. It means that we didn’t sit around and wait for the ice caps to warm up, we knew we didn’t have the technology to survive that level of cold, but we did it anyways. We were trying to send people into the sky and then into space before we had fully figured it all out, simply because we didn’t want to wait and think it out, we wanted SPACE and we wanted it NOW. And personally, I tend to be extremely productive and inventive when I’m feeling impatient. Mechanic is booked for a few days? I’ll figure out how to change my oil and tires and tint my car’s windows myself. Strawberry season is still 4 months away? I’ll get a heat lamp setup and grow them myself. Friends can’t visit and help move furniture for a week? I’ll build a trolley out of some toy cars, tape, a chessboard, and do all the lifting myself.

This impatience is what made us design faster cars, faster computers, faster internet, faster communication, methods of growing food faster, of processing food faster, we’re always looking for the quickest and most efficient thing simply because we are not patient. 

Impatience leads to a type of creativity and persistence that patience just doesn’t have.

Imagine aliens starting to realize this.

“You got to your moon before you had developed LED screens??? You didn’t even have computers that could do basic math?!”
“Well, what else were we gonna do, sit around and wait?”

“Your planes don’t have gravitational control? Don’t you experience discomfort from the acceleration and directional changes?”
“Sure. But we needed to get on the other side of the planet in a decent amount of time.”
“So… what you’re articulating is that you’d rather have physical distress than have to have a long journey?”
“Yeah, pretty much.”

“Human____, our mechanical teams will be on site in several of your earth hours, so we won’t be going anywhere until then.”
“Screw that. Where’s the manual for this thing? I bet I can fix it.”
“But you don’t have any mechanical training.”
“I also don’t feel like sitting around on this rock for ages.”

“You’re back already? I thought your medical representative told you to not be walking on that limb for another of your weeks.”
“Ugh. I just can’t anymore. I’ve got to get up and move and do something, anything.”
“But doesn’t that hurt to walk on?”
“Absolutely.”
“…You would choose pain over waiting?”
“What can I say, I’m not a patient person.”

Like aliens just being baffled that humans would rather work hard or struggle with a problem or even experience pain and discomfort. They, as prey species, are used to just waiting it out. They don’t have the same impatience driving them to get up and go and to fight through things just because they can’t wait any longer.

Bonus: 
Human: Ain’t nobody got time for that!
Alien: Why don’t you have time? Is something scheduled soon?
Human: No, I just don’t feel like wasting time.
Alien: But… it’s not wasted. It’s time well spent. And you do technically have the time to spare for that. If there’s nothing scheduled, then you do ‘got time for that’.
Human: No. No, I don’t. It’s just… no.

See Yeh Break

Harry X Reader

In which you become well acquainted with Harry’s thigh.

Request? Yes:

riding harrys leg on a balacony overlooking the aegean on a sunny july day

THIGH RIDING THIGH RIDING THIGH RIDING THIGH RIDING THIGH RIDING THIGH RIDING THIGH RIDING THIGH RIDING THIGH RIDING THIGH RIDING THIGH RIDING THIGH RIDING PLEASE

Author’s note: The beginning turned all mushy? Idk what that’s about (Yes I do. It’s because I’m fucking whipped for mushy Harry.) but if the transition seems sudden, whooops. :)


This vacation is an absolute blessing. A week away from the madness and noise of fans and paps and meetings. From the moment the two of you arrived to your private little getaway on the coast, Harry’s been warm and relaxed, and you couldn’t ask for anything more than that.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

People saying Hufflepuff is the worst or lamest house are usually self-proclaimed Gryffindors and we all know that is the actual worst house so I don't let it get to me.

the shade is real

Horoscopes by Gil Hizon - Week of March 26 - April 1, 2017

Cease and desist, queen!

ARIES (March 21 – April 19)

Bitch, the time for mulling and pontificating is OVAH! This week, you must make the decision that will change your life 4EVAH! Usually, I’ll be the first to tell you to follow your heart but ERRBODY knows that in this economy, that shit is easier said than done. There are consequences to your actions, whether it’s well-intentioned or not. Be strategic about your next maneuvers. You still gotta look out for yo own ass and not end up selling your “wares” at the corner of Highland and Lexington at 4AM in the morning.
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TAURUS (April 20 – May 20)

The key to brainstorming a new project is having pure intentions. Think of it like seeds, gurl. The healthier they are at the onset, the better that tree will look like. Of course, I’m not a fucking gardener so what the fuck do I know? What I do know, is karma, bitch. And the rules of karma is as follows: you will always get what you put in, and you will always get it two-fold.
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GEMINI (May 21 – June 21)

Bitches should be angry at you for changing your mind too damn much. But I have to say, I have grown to respect your flair for flippy-flopping. It’s not that you’re scatterbrained, it’s just that you recognize that being passionate about a certain project requires your mind to be flexible and open to different ways of executing the damn thing. But gurl, not everyone is as accepting as me. You may have to explain your ways to other hos.
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CANCER (June 22 – July 22)

And just like that, it would seem that your vision in regards to making your dreams come true snaps into fucking focus. It’s like you’ve been seeing images with a different filter and this week, you’re finally trying out Valencia. But think of it another way: maybe the key into figuring out the path to success is not using any filters at all.
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LEO (July 23 – August 22)

You’ve been spending the past few weeks in brainstorm mode and that’s all been great. But there’s such a thing as too much pontificating. The more you dwell in “what ifs,” that more yo ass will get confused and the more you’ll aggravate your investors. Find a stopping point in this brain exercise you’ve been immersing yourself in before you drive yourself and ERRBODY else mad.
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VIRGO (August 23 – September 22)

You’re a wise ass person with a lot going on. Why are you immersing yourself in this high-school-themed quandary? That shit is all beneath you, gurl. Maybe you’re experiencing a moment of weakness about a current sitch and it’s making you nostalgic about easier, podunk challenges you’ve faced in the past, but lemme tell you, queen: playing with fire, no matter how small, can lead to a flaming shitshow. And nobody got time for that.
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LIBRA (September 23 – October 22)

If you’re trying to build your new legion of fans, then badmouthing your former boss might not be such a good idea. Whatever your experience with that nasty ho has been, you are to keep mum about the details. If you have to fucking lie, so be it. And here’s where it counts. You’ll be the one singing your ex-boss’s praises while she be the one talking shit about chu. Guess who’d be more palatable?
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SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21)

If there’s ever a question this week as to whether you have the bandwidth to put up with the shenanigans of your posse, the answer is a big fat fucking NO. I urge you to put your muthafucking foot down when your usually-fun-but-very-annoying-this-week bitches get out of line. You are not errbody’s mother and you are certainly not anyone’s doormat!
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SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 21)

You would rather retreat in the shadows this week, and if it was any other time, it may be cute. But circumstances are such that there just ain’t enough manpower to get a project through the finish line. Look, queen, it’s okay to utilize the bare minimum of your part in the process rather than standing some bitches up. Like I always say, if you’re gonna shit on someone’s process, you bettah have wipes.
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CAPRICORN (December 22 – January 19)

This so-called “well-rounded” diet of yours may be making yo ass… well-rounded. Look, queen, it’s so easy to get tantalized by fads in the nutrition world, but in the end, there is no such thing as a quick fix. With any dietary journey, it’s best to stick to the basics. Simply put, the more you put bad shit in your body, the more your body will go to shit.
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AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18)

Look bitch. I know that you’ve been managing your well-being your entire life. I am proud of what you have accomplished by yourself without any help from other queens. But this mode of doing things on your own cannot sustain itself. I’m not saying, play the fucking damsel in distress. I’m just saying, try your best to allow others to make your life better. Trust me: you’d be doing them a favor and it’ll make you feel all good inside that heart of yours (if any).
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PISCES (February 19 – March 20)

Where your social media friends are concerned, those bitches bettah run for cover. You are in the mood to fucking unleash this week, and there ain’t no stopping that mouth and those type-thirsty fingers of yours. Hey, we all have our ways of dealing with certain shits the world likes to throw in our faces. It’s all good. All I’m saying is that, some of your constituents may need a warning or three.
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(DISCLAIMER for all entries: This is all a shitshow!)

For more Horoscopes By Gil Hizon, click here, gurl!

2

Why ya’ll screaming Necrophilia when it’s clearly a lesson in dismembering bodies. I mean you gotta be naked to do it cos ain’t nobody got time for dealing with blood stains.

(If Bum has a secret talent in this we could be back on the road to domestic bliss/murder husbands)