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sexuality, twitter, babygate, management, and louis: a messy rant

Okay. This is just a rant that nobody would probably even read but I’ll give it a shot because I believe there’s no other larries to be found within 50 meter radius of this shithole I’m in and I. Just. Need. To. Say. This. Or else I’ll get even more crazy than I already am.

I have made very little and a tad bit lazy research about the things I’m going to talk about, so my opinions are no way the most credible one out there. I’m just going to voice out what I have known and read from the fandom from the moment I have engaged in this roller coaster that is larry stylinson. I started 2012, if that matters.

I’ll also probably get hated for this but here goes.  

LARRY’S SEXUALITY


From what I have read and from what I have chosen to believe from the things I’ve read, both of them are bisexual. However, Harry seems to be embracing his sexuality more daringly and freely than Louis. No way to confirm this, I know. But.

Harry never seems to like being correlated with girls in interviews. For example, when OT4 played Never Have I Ever with Ellen, she blatantly threw questions to Harry about Taylor Swift and his history with older women. Harry seemed dismissive and even slightly annoyed (in Harry’s way) by those questions, as he always seem to be whenever his womanizer image is being brought up. I have watched other interviews to support this claim, but I can’t remember exactly where. I myself believe that sexuality cannot be judged simply because of certain stigmatized behaviors. However, I have seen videos and gifs with Harry not “acting” very masculine especially in concerts. I mean, if I’m close-minded and thankfully I’m not, I’d call Harry gay simply because of his behaviors. Moreover, Harry’s the one who seem to be the most supportive of Rainbow Direction, the one running around with rainbow flags, the one carrying a rainbow mug in Drag Me Down music video. In conclusion, I’d say that Harry is definitely sexually fluid and definitely not straight. Plus, I’ve seen Harry’s pictures with his first girlfriend Felicity Skinner, and they looked genuinely happy together.

Louis, on the other hand, seem to know how to play the sexuality games really well. He seem to be more willing to have beards and be a dad. He’s also, unfortunately, to the public eye, slightly homophobic. He’s definitely not as supportive as Harry about Rainbow Direction. For one, I think it’s because Louis is older so he knows how things work in the industry. I’m not saying Harry doesn’t, but Louis’ a couple more years of existence have probably made him aware of how venomous society is when it comes to sexuality. It probably have made him bitter and scared (search: internalized homophobia). In addition, he’s the one who’s been in a long-term relationship with a beard and the one who’s been publicized to be a father soon. I’ve also seen his pictures with his first serious girlfriend, Hannah Walker, and well, it seemed legit. In conclusion, he’s also bisexual.  

LARRY WHEN ASKED ABOUT LARRY
Back in the fetus days and when larry stylinson is still allowed to be asked in interviews (I’m not saying it’s not, but I’m throwing a few cents here), Louis seemed to be the more confident one in responding to the question about the fan’s “genuine” belief of their romance.  Harry’s body language is very closed during these moments, but Louis handled the situation a lot better, almost with practice.

TWITTER

Another thing, and this thing I do hate, is Louis’ twitter vomits. I have been discouraged and hurt many times by the things he tweeted concerning larry and the LGBT, but whenever I remember that Louis has a sharp tongue - a tongue that he himself have sharpened because he needed it to defend himself, I forgive him. You know what tweets I’m talking about. Especially the one when he went all gaga when we were so proud of him for wearing a shirt with a rainbow apple. Okay that still hurts. Skip.

There was a time when, whenever I run out of reasons to believe that Larry is real, I remind my self that Louis and Harry have never denied it. But then, after going over Louis’ tweets concerning Larry, that argument felt weak. Because despite not actually mentioning the words confirming that he’s not in a relationship with Harry, the implications of his words/tweets are not far from that. I know management can control their twitter account, but I’ve been following Louis long enough to discern which tweets are his and which ones are for promos. The only consolation is that he haven’t denied it in front of a camera for the world to see. I guess that would be too real, for him, and for us.
When it comes to Larry Stylinson or sexuality, Louis, on one hand, can put on a very convincing mask and make it look like it’s his true self. He can speak lies and make it sound like truths. It’s not meant to hurt anyone, it’s just his way of dealing with the difficulty of his situation. On the other hand, Harry is more reserved. He can’t speak of the truth, but he’s trying and is not afraid to show it. Louis is strong but Harry is brave.

BABYGATE AND CONSEQUENCES
Babygate is, probably the most tragic and insane stunt that the management have pulled. Zayn leaving have pulled rags under our feet, but we’ve always known the boys can’t be together always. The whole thing is still shady af, but we’ve managed to come to terms with it.

Louis’ having a baby, however, is just a disaster. There’s just so many reason that this is wrong, but what concerns me the most is how this is hurting Louis’ image. His name have graced the headlines a lot of times in a span of a few months. Which is the goal, I think, because they needed something to distract the fans from Zayn leaving and Louis is probably going to be an X-factor judge during the hiatus. He broke up with his long-time girlfriend only to be seen kissing a girl in a pool the next day. He shades NaughtyPig and Zayn over twitter. And the worst of all, he impregnates Briana Jungwhatever.

There is no way, no way in hell to know if he’s really the father or if the baby is even real. Larry shippers, natural detectives as we are, have found holes in the whole story. We’ve also heard how “buzzin’” Louis is about it. We’ve learn about how much time he’s going to spend with the baby during the break (oops we didn’t). We have that, we have theories, we have facts, we have observations, but we don’t really have the truth. A few months from now a certain “truth” will come out of the headlines (The Sun, I’ll bet), but even then we’ll never know if it really is the truth. So as much as I want to believe that the baby isn’t real, I can’t. I’m not saying it’s real, either. But the fact that we are able to chuck out the possibility of a baby, an actual human being, in the category of publicity stunts, is too much for me. Even if it isn’t real or Louis isn’t the father, the outcomes will still be devastating because it’s a BABY.

And that, the fact that Louis acknowledge (grudgingly and with apathy, I know) that he is having a baby soon, is the biggest blow in my faith in larry. Because just how much Louis Tomlinson is willing to pay to hide that he is in a relationship with Larry? What is he willing to do? I can deal with rumors, shady tweets, or beards. Just, just not a baby. That’s too much.

NOW, MANAGEMENT (This is the part where I might get hate)
What bothers me the most is the fact that Louis agreed with all of this. I know, management. But I refuse to believe that they have zero control over the things that the management put them through. They have contract, I know, and none of us have any idea what kind of contract they have signed, but I am confident that they are still allowed to decide. I can blame management for the absence of larry interactions for the past years (even though I don’t), but Louis being rumored having a baby? I can’t blame that to them. That’s Louis. He may have not liked the idea, but he’s still participating. I refuse to believe that he doesn’t have any call to that, that’s absurd. I want to stop blaming the management for all the shit that’s happening. It’s true, they are perpetuators, they have control, but I believe the boys still has autonomy. They wouldn’t sign a contract stating that they should follow orders blindly. Okay, maybe Louis didn’t have a choice about Eleanor, maybe it’s in his contract to have a beard, maybe. But agreeing to be a father to a baby? With a girl he met and apparently shagged from a club? I don’t think he should have agreed with that. I’m questioning the morality of it.

And if Larry is really real, just imagine what kind of catastrophe awaits them when they come out. The more publicities like this, more girlfriends, and more denials that they do, the more difficult it will be for them to come out someday. All those things will be held against them. At least I think so. Because, for the most part, they have lied to the public. To the fans. I’m not saying that they owe us the truth, but I like to think that to some extent, they do.

But if they do come out, I’ll rejoice. That’s all I’ll be doing. Probably for a month. I’ll think of these consequences again, but I’ll be happy for them first. I also think that, if they do go through hell with the media or the fans or the world after coming out, it’s gonna be okay. It’s gonna be the most wonderful thing because they’re finally free. And they’ll have us.

(I’m a hardcore Louis girl, by the way. He keeps hurting me, I know. But it’s always the bad boys, isn’t it?)