nobody told me this was a show about feelings

  • ---Outside Keith's Room---
  • Lance: Hey, Keith? Buddy, you in there?
  • Keith: Go away Lance.
  • Lance: //Enters anyway//
  • ---Inside Keith's Room---
  • Keith: I don't want to talk Lance, just leave me alone ok?
  • Lance: Hey, nobody's seen you since breakfast, who said anything about talking? I came to make sure you hadn't died or something.
  • Keith: ....
  • Lance: But we could always talk since I'm here now anyway. //Sits on the bed//
  • Keith: Lance-
  • Lance: C'mon man, everyone's worried about you. You barely show your face around the castle, and whenever you do you avoid everyone like you're on some kind of stealth mission.
  • Keith: //Scoffs// Nobody is worried about me, and I'm not avoiding everyone... I just...
  • Lance: //Frowns// Keith, we're a team, if you're upset, we all feel it. The whole team's out of whack. Just talk to me - despite what Pidge might have told you, I am great with feelings and junk.
  • Keith: I don't - It's just - Ugh, it's just easier not to see everyone judging me, and hating me if I'm not around them, ok?! I don't care what you say, I've seen the way they look at me - and I look normal now, but what if it gets worse? What if I do start going purple? Or I sprout fur or something stupid like that. How would they look at me then? I'd be just another Galra....... Lance, I don't think I should be on the team anymore.
  • Lance: Wait what? Are you kidding! You think you should be off the team? The team that the Red Lion chose you for? That's crazy! Keith, you've saved everyone's butts loads of times, what would we do without you? How would we form Voltron? And you know, keep the universe safe?
  • Keith: You'd find someone else-
  • Lance: There is no one else Keith! *You're* the Red Paladin. So what if you're Galra? ... Well, sure, there's the whole being a member of the race that's 'trying to take over the universe, destroy entire civilisations and trying to kill us all the time' thing but-
  • Keith: Great, that makes me feel much better.
  • Lance: Well when I say it like that it sounds bad, but that's not all you are. You're Keith first, before any of all that. It's just been a bit of a shock - it's raw you know? Everyone will come to terms with it, trust me... Like I don't know if you've noticed, but Hunk's pretty much got an alien girlfriend
  • Keith: What?
  • Lance: Sure, nobody's judging. And we've all seen Shiro's badass glowing arm thing - also Galra I might add. Does it make us think any less of him? No way! And I'm also convinced Pidge is part computer, I just don't have any proof yet.
  • Keith: //Smiles//
  • Lance: Allura's probably gonna take a little longer than the rest of us, but she's still hurting, and hey, she's like over 10,000 years old, she just needs to get with the times. Like, Galra Keith? Whatever, am I right?
  • Keith: ...... //Chuckles// Thanks Lance.
  • Lance: So don't worry, just come back to the team, we miss you. We've all got our little hang ups and stuff, so it's ok
  • Keith: Yeah, everyone except you - you're perfect
  • Lance: Uh-
  • Keith: - ! //Flustered//
  • Lance: //Flustered as hell//

nachtkniver  asked:

Hiiii, can you do a headcanon with the rfa and mc on their wedding night? Thank you!

Heya! Hope you like it! ^^

RFA on wedding night

Zen

  • He’s an actor, he knows how to stay calm before a big debut
  • But no musical he ever started made him feel that nervous. He feels like sweating, but he can’t sweat or it will ruin his make-up.
  • He noticed Seven and Jumin whispering about something looking concerned, what were those two up to?
  • They managed to distract him, but Yoosung entered the room. “Seven, did you already delete the photo of MC? Oh, Zen! I didn’t know you would be here…” “Usually, the broom room is reserved for the broom, Yoosung.” Jumin explained calmly, but it was very perceptive that he wasn’t pleased.
  • “What are you talking about? What photo of MC?” Zen got back to his nervous state. “I don’t think is worthy trying to hide from him anymore, some paparazzi took a photo of MC in her bride dress.” “But don’t worry, I’m already on it, Zen, there’s nothing to worry ab…”
  • “What’s wrong with these people? Seriously, they have absolutely no respect or consideration for such a sacred moment! MC doesn’t deserve this!” Zen ignored Seven and kept on yelling about boundaries and the difference between public and private, then he stopped when he heard a sweet voice coming from outside the room, through the door.
  • “Zen? Are you ok, honey?” it was you. Oh god! He was yelling that loud that you heard from your room? “I-I’m okay, babe. Do-don’t worry…” “Zen, you’re a great actor, but you know I can tell when you’re lying, right?”
  • He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, MC. I’m just pissed at the press! They can’t do that to you! If they can’t respect me, they should at least respect the woman of my life!” “Zen, it’s fine…” “No, it’s not fine, MC! Will it be like this forever? Every step we take is going to be followed around by these vultures? I… what if I can handle this?”
  • “Zen… I’m coming in!” “No, no, you can’t! It’s bad luck, babe!” “Bad luck would be you not seeing what everybody already saw, it’s okay… our love is stronger than any silly superstition…”
  • You came in and took Zen’s breath away, did he die and went to heaven? You looked like an angel… “Babe… you… you are…” you giggled and cupped his face with your hand. “You don’t have to handle anything by yourself from now on, Hyun. I’ll be here for you, no matter what, okay? Let them talk, everything will be ok as long as we’re together.”
  • All his anger from before was fading away, he was still amazed about your power of making everything that was wrong just… disappear. “So, I have a surprise for you” you told him “There’s something nobody saw it yet, you’ll be the first one…”
  •  “Oh, let’s… let’s give them some privacy, guys…” Seven said blushing and moving Jumin and Yoosung out of the room, you rolled your eyes. “It’s nothing naughty! I just… wanted to show you my vows…” “Oh, babe, you don’t have to!” “No, just read it! I… memorized this, so maybe it’ll feel different when you actually hear me there?”
  • It actually felt different when you were in the aisle, professing your love for him, the words were the same, but seeing you say it, your eyes tearing up, was a whole new experience. And in that moment, among all those flashes from all those cameras and all those people, all he could see was you, and it would be like that from now on.


Yoosung

  • He was unrecognizable, everybody was expecting a sweaty stuttering mess, he was just sitting there, quiet… staring at the wall.
  • “There’s something really wrong, dude!” Seven stated. “What are you talking about? He looks great!” Zen shrugged.
  • “Hey, Yoosung? Do you want anything? Some water, breathmints, a roofie?” Yoosung didn’t answer to Seven’s teasing… Yeah, this was bad.
  • “Yoosung? Are you okay, dude?” Zen asked, now noticing what Seven was talking about. Zen and Seven looked at each other, they had no idea what to do.
  • Seven went looking for you, he knocked at the door, Jaehee answered. “Hey… huh, try to be discreet, but… Yoosung is being really weird right now…” “If he’s panicking, just talk to him, he’ll be fine.” “No, that’s the problem, he’s… not panicking, he’s just… there.” “What do you mean?” Jaehee went out of the bedroom.
  • “Seven? Is that you? Is something wrong, Jaehee?” you were standing next to the door, oh god… “Talk! Is something wrong with Yoosung?”
  • “We’re… not sure… “ “So… what is it? Did he run away?” “WHAT? NO! I mean… Zen could stop him if he tried, right?” Oh my god…
  • “I should go and check him.” “MC, I don’t think that’s a good idea…” Jaehee warned you. “Seven, is he not saying anything? Looking like he’s spacing out?” “Yeah…” “See? I know my future husband and I know how to deal with him.”
  • You went to his room, it was worse than you thought, he looked like he had been playing LOLOL for 36 hours non-stop, but he didn’t play LOLOL for a while now.
  • “Yoosung? Are you okay, honey?” you came close to him carefully. “Tell me if there’s something wrong, and if I can help  you.”
  • He finally looked at you! You looked like a fairy! He could not believe it was real, you were real1 And you were going to get married to someone like him? “That’s exactly what’s wrong, MC.”
  • “What?” “Us…” “Yoosung…” “No, I’m serious! Look at you, coming to comfort me because I keep getting pathetic in front of you… what if I’ll never be able to comfort you? To help you? To protect you? It will feel like you’re my older sister, exactly like it was with…”
  •  You hold his hand sweetly. “Yoosung, do you love me?” “Of course, MC!” “You love me as much as you did that time when you got into Mint Eye?” “I love you even more, MC!”
  • “Well, didn’t you do everything to protect me back then? You’ve been acting like my guardian angel way before we decided to get married, Yoosung. It’s not a pair of rings or… saying vows and signing a document, it’s about us being able to rely on each other. And I rely on you so much, I look at your eye like this and I remember why I can rely on you that much, my Yoosung…”
  • Both of you were tearing a little. “I’m gonna be… the happiest man on Earth, right?” “It depends only on you.”
  • And when he saw you coming towards him in the aisle. He knew: yep, he was definitely the happiest man on Earth.


Jaehee

  • Both of you were anxious, she was better at hiding it.
  • You had breakfast together in complete silence, it felt like you two had to keep your feelings to yourselves right now and let everything out later in that aisle.
  •  You decided to come separated to the hotel where the wedding was going to happen. That way, you would actually miss each other.
  • You came first, Yoosung and Zen were already waiting for you to help you with whatever you needed. Jaehee would be here anytime soon.
  • But time was ticking, and you didn’t hear from hear. You asked the hotel staff, she haven’t arrived yet.
  • You called her. “Jaehee, is everything okay, honey?” “MC, I’m sorry, I’m stuck on traffic, there was an accident and…”
  • “AN ACCIDENT? OH MY GOD! ARE YOU OKAY? OH, I KNEW WE SHOULD HAVE COME TOGETHER! WHAT WAS I THINKING? ARE YOU HURT? WHICH HOSPITAL  ARE YOU AT?”
  • “MC, calm down! You didn’t let me finish! There was an accident on the road and now it’s intermitted, I might stay stuck here for a while…” you sighed in relief, but you quickly tensed up when you actually understood the trouble you were in.
  • “What do we do now, Jaehee? Oh, this is all my fault!” “MC, it’s not your fault, stop panicking, please! You’re making me nervous too.” “I’m sorry, love, I’m so so sorry, I… can’t help myself! I… I’m so afraid everything will go wrong! I can’t live with myself if something goes wrong between us, Jaehee, I can’t!”
  • “MC… I’m scared too, but it’s that good fear, you know what I mean? Like that one we felt when we opened the café, it’s not really a fear, it’s just…”
  •  “Anticipation” you completed her sentence and you both giggled. “It’s just… I treated you so coldly this morning, Jaehee, I’m so sorry.” “It’s okay, I did the same thing, we’re just trying to make the best out of it, but the best is when we act like we normally do, right? Maybe that’s our first lesson for when we get married…”
  • “Yes… I wonder when that will be…” “Be patient, I’ll be there as soon as you realize, MC!”
  •  And then something clicked in your mind. “Zen, can you do me a favor?”
  • Riding a bike on a dress was the most uncomfortable and craziest thing she’s ever done, but she was in a hurry as much as you were. She couldn’t wait anymore being away from you on such an important day…
  • When she got there, she barely had time to get her helmet off, you were all over her, hugging her tightly and kissing her face. “I’m so happy to see you, there’s so much I want to say to you now, Jaehee, I…” she put a finger on your lips. “I’m here, I’m safe, you look wonderful, and I wish to hear what you have to say when you read your vows to me. Everything will be fine, my love.”
  • And both of you said everything that was stuck on your throats since that awkward morning. Fortunately, mornings like that one would be soon replaced by the sweetest and romantic ones.

Jumin

  • Was he nervous? Nobody could tell. But he’d been checking his tie and adjusting his cufflinks  each 10 seconds
  • Seven and Yoosung were talking a lot, Jumin couldn’t hear them, he was only thinking of you. How perfect you would look coming down the aisle, how amazing it would be your first dance as a married couple, how sweet would be the first moment you two would be alone… calm down, Jumin, you’re getting ahead of yourself! Maybe you shold check your tie again.
  • His father entered the room, Seven and Yoosung immediately excused themselves, truth be told, Mr. Chairman could be as intimidating as his son sometimes.
  • “I should tell you how proud I am of you, son. Seeing you so happy about sharing your life with a significant other is something I only hoped for you, and it actually happened. And she is a wonderful lady…”
  • “She’s really marvelous.” “Yes, I regret I ever doubted her intentions. If I knew better, I wouldn’t have convinced her to sign a pre-nup…” “You did what?”
  • “Well, I was worried about after that Sarah and Glam situation, and I thought she might be another gold digger, so I talked to her and she agreed on signing it. I should have known that moment when she didn’t even hesitate, she really loves you.”
  • “Yes, shocking, isn’t it? My own father didn’t think I could actually make someone fall in love with me for who I am, unbelievable…” “Son, it’s nothing like this…”
  • “Seriously, you really think talking to her behind my back because you were doubting her was a good idea? And why would she even agree to this? I…” “Son, calm down…”
  • “Yes, I will as soon as I talk to her. Excuse me, father.” Jumin entered in your room without previous warning, you tried to cover the dress, scared. “Ju-Jumin? What are you doing here?”
  • “Don’t need to cover yourself, love. I already saw the dress, remember? We were together when the designer sketched. Although seeing you like this is a heavenly vision, indeed…” you felt his eyes a little distant.
  • “Jumin, are you okay?” “Why didn’t you tell me you signed a pre-nup?” “Oh, this is… I thought your father wouldn’t say a thing, I just… was trying to make a good impression for him…”
  • “You don’t have to worry about what my father thinks, MC. You’re getting married with me! I’ll be the one to protect you, and I need you to have financial stability if something ever happens to me…” “Jumin, don’t even say a thing like that…”
  • “I’m sorry, but we have to be realistic here. If something ever happens to me, I can’t leave you without nothing, MC. This is much more serious and important than causing an impression on my father.” “I… I’m sorry, Jumin, I didn’t want to make you get mad or…”
  •  “I would never get mad at you.” He rushed to hold your hands. “I think it’s adorable you want to please my father, but from now on, we should make a commitment of discussing matters like that.” He felt himself calming down just by holding your warm soft hands. “Yes, I promise, Jumin…”
  • And you really did, as you repeated that in your vows. He didn’t regret seeing you before the marriage, it didn’t really make a difference in the end, since looking at you like that felt like he was seeing you for the very first time.

Saeyoung

  • Nobody could bare him! He was getting snappy and rude to everybody, including his brother.
  • Saeran excused himself before he could punch him. Imagine a black eye on a day like this, MC would kill them both.
  • But he had to do something, and he knew you were the only one who could actually make Saeyoung go back to his normal stupid self.
  • “He’s being an ass, MC!” “Oh, I’m sure he’s just nervous, Saeran, give him time.” “Well, how much time do you have before getting on the aisle?” he had a point…
  • “Okay, I’ll talk to him…” you sighed and went to him, you knocked at the door. “Saeyoung? What’s going on?”
  •  “I can’t believe he called you! I told him I was fine! Ugh… just… go get ready, MC!” “Don’t tell me what to do like this, Saeyoung, I already said I don’t like it!”
  • “Well, I’m sorry if I’m actually worried about the wedding schedule, but if you want to waste time, be my guest!” oh no he didn’t!
  • You stormed out inside of his room. He looked at you surprised, you looked like you just stepped out of a fairy-tale… a very angry princess was coming towards him, oh crap!
  • “Listen, you prick! You can’t treat me or anybody who cares about you like this just because you’re nervous, you heard me? You think I’m not nervous too? That I’m not anxious about sharing my whole life with you? I’m freaking terrified, Saeyoung! But I swallowed my fears, put a smile on my face and just started thinking about how amazing it will be being with the person I most love in the whole universe. So I suggest you do the same and stop being an asshole! Was I clear?”
  • His eyes were widened, you sounded so… sexy! And you were absolutely right!  “Was I clear, Saeyoung?” “Crystal clear…”
  • “Good… so apologize to your brother and, fix your tie!” he fixed it so fast you felt like giggling, but you had to keep it serious “Hey, MC?” “Yes, Saeyoung?” “You look stunning!” “Yeah, thanks… “ you blushed and he grinned.
  •  “I’m really sorry, MC. I still have a long way to go about controlling my anxiety, but I know you will always be there to sensually scold me like you did jus now…” “ I wasn’t trying to be sensual, but ok…” “No,I… promise I’ll be the best for you, MC! I’ll never let a wet towel on the bed and I’ll always put down the toilet seat and… I’ll do my best to only show you my best side, because you deserve the best, after all…” “Thanks for saying that, but I hope these aren’t your vows, I don’t really want to hear about toilet seats in front of the priest, Saeyoung…” you two laughed.
  • And his vows actually weren’t nothing like that, it was so sweet and honest that you cried. He promised himself if he would ever make you cry again, it could only be tears of joy like this.


You can see Saeran and V here~

Trauma & physical disability

At 27, I’m finally realizing that what I’ve gone through with my disability is trauma. (I’ll describe a bit of what I mean, but proceed with caution if this sort of thing gets to you.)

Falling and being on the floor for an hour while trying desperately to find a way to leverage myself back up into my chair caused trauma. And it was legitimately bad and not something to just dismiss as an everyday occurrence. Even though it happened several times.

Slipping in the shower, landing on the base of my spine, and being unable to move for a while was traumatizing. I called for help and then listened to my roommate’s footsteps going down the hall away from me. My voice was too weak for her to hear. When I could finally move I had to haul myself up by the safety bars, and just sat shaking naked on the toilet until I had the strength to stand. That was not just some little thing. I never told anybody aside from the doctor who treated me afterwards.

The fact that I can recall these moments in vivid detail after all these years shows that trauma can happen when nobody is at fault. Accidents can be traumatic and they can stick with you for the rest of your life.

Because of what happened I will never feel comfortable living away from family, away from people who genuinely care about me and know that I could fall at any moment.

I have Ajax now, so I don’t have to worry so much about calling for help and having nobody hear me. He’s trained to alert, and even if nobody comes for a while at least I’ll never be alone on the floor, grabbing onto anything solid in an attempt to get up, my skin picking up grime from the floor as I scoot desperately along.

Trauma taught me that I need others. It’s taught me that I need to be cautious more than I need to be independent.

It’s changed who I am.

What it Feels Like

Originally posted by nct-madness

Requested: Yes

Word Count: 1,687

Characters: You(f) + NCT’s Ten (ft. EXO Baekhyun)

Genre: Angst

PART 2 / PART 3

When my agency approached me and asked if I would be comfortable with getting fake married to another celebrity, strangely enough my first thought was not about asking my boyfriend of 3 years. 

Keep reading

I’ve reblogged so much LazyTown stuff recently and it gave me some kind of flashback.

I watched the show when I was around 9 years old. My mom hated it.
I wasn’t watching it regularly or anything.
My life wasn’t that easy as I was 9 because my dad had moved out and my parents got a divorce.
I kinda forgot about the show at that time because of the stuff that was going on around me.
When I was 17 I was at a really low point in my life.
I was struggling to find my gender identity. I was depressed and frustrated.
But then this blue elf came flipping back into my life and told me that he’s proud of me whatever I do and no matter how I feel about myself.
Nobody gave a damn if a man wore dresses to pretend to be someone else in LazyTown.
In real life it’s kinda a big deal. That’s one of the reasons why I love this show, because gender isn’t all about clothes.

Magnús is a real inspiration for me.
He’s the superhero I needed in my life that my dad never was.

Now at 19 I joined the fandom and I love it.
The memes and the genuine love for Magnús, Stefán and the characters are awesome.
This show helped/is still helping me through rough times and I love it for that.
Whenever I need a quick laugh I can count on these two guys for delivering it.
It will always be part of my childhood and myself.


Thank you LazyTown for existing!

anonymous asked:

22 jongin please 😌

22.“Can you stay the night?”

You knew that Kim Jongin was trouble, everyone did but you couldn’t help yourself. You craved him, every part of him. He was irresistible. You had a weird relationship. Sometimes you acted like a couple, sometimes you acted like you didn’t know each other. You were sick of it. 

Jongin had climbed all the way up to your window and got inside, without your parent’s knowing of course. It was a typical night, Jongin would sneak in, he would stay a couple of hours and he would leave without saying anything.

“What are we, exactly?” You asked, getting irritated.

“Something. I’m not sure.” Jongin said, looking at his phone.

“Jongin, you need to leave and don’t bother coming back, I don’t want to do this anymore. It’s over whatever this is.” you pointed between you two.

“Don’t be stupid, (Y/N). You know how I feel about you!”

“How would I know? You’ve never told me, you don’t even bother talking-”

Jongin got up from his seat and cupped your face with his soft hands. He made you look into his chocolate brown eyes.

“I love you, okay?! I’m fucking in love with you! I’m not good with words, I suck at showing my feelings. You were the first one who didn’t judge me because of my looks or what I did before. You befriended me when nobody did, you make me feel loved more than anyone else.”

“Jongin, I-”

“Shhh, don’t say anything.” he said and placed his plump lips on your soft ones.

“Can you stay the night?” you mumbled against his lips.

“I’d love that.” he smiled and lead you to your bed.

You quickly got under the covers, getting cozy. You rested your head against Jongin’s chest as he caressed your back.

“Jongin?”

“Hmm?”

“I love you too.”

I just binged Anne with an E. 

You have to bare in mind here it’s been about a decade since I last read the book or watched the film, so some of my memory is a little hazy, but I loved it as a child.

I went on google when I finished to see whether I had really missed Aunt Josephine being very gay in the original or if this was something netflix had added in and was surprised to find a lot of articles slamming the series.

The main complaints are the fact the series strays away from the happy-go-lucky, oops-that-was-unfortunate feel of the original. Sure, there are some bits that seemed excessive, but time and time again they were mentioning the focus on Anne’s PTSD. 

For me, this focus is what made this adaptation. In the books we know Anne has a traumatic childhood, we are told about some of it, but it never really crosses your mind how that effects her. Netflix (admittedly kinda smashes it in your face) shows you the effect. It shows moments where she get’s triggered, and if Anne wasn’t our focus, we wouldn’t notice. Nobody else notices, it’s never noticed, and I think that’s a big thing to note. She’s so good at hiding it. She is this happy, optimistic person, because she needs to be. She has to be alright and make people think she’s alright, better than alright, otherwise they won’t want her around, or they’ll worry and she doesn’t know what people do when they worry about her- because she hasn’t had that ever. She hasn’t been allowed to be an inconvenience, to let people have emotions over her. She’s a daydreamer, because that’s the only way she could survive. But there’s moments where life breaks through these walls of happiness and optimism and dreaming, and that’s where the show excelled. Because why wouldn’t she be traumatised? Why wouldn’t she be good at hiding it? 

So yes, there were some moments that were a little of-point, but Anne’s emotions and trauma were not one of them.

anonymous asked:

I'm new to the cc Fandom and I wanted to ask A) I thought this was a kids show what the fuck, why did nobody warn me??? B) Why do you ship max x nikki C) is there a jermy rp blog because I would love to see one lol Love ya blog bb!

1) omg i feel ur pain. when my friends told me about it they told me it was kids at a run down summer camp i did not expect this glorious show

2) idk, it’s cute! i’m a v open shipper as long as the ship isn’t gross or bad!

3) yes there is @ask-jermyfartz is ur blog it’s fantastic and i love it so much??

and thank u bab!!! :D

When we were young #Adele songfic

Listen


He was back to Holmes Chapel for a few days. He needed some time in his hometown. It felt like everything was starting again for his career. He didn’t know yet what he was going to do, even though he had a little idea. He felt like some time in a familiar place would help him remember why he wanted to do this job in the first place. The familiar feeling he always had when he was in the place he had been in for seventeen years was nothing you could compare to. Everything felt so good, almost as if he had never left. He was sent back five years ago when everything had started. His mother near him smiled at him when she noticed that he was completely lost in his thought. She was so glad to have him by her side for some time but he had never seemed so deep in his thoughts. It was like he was planning everything he was going to do in the next few months or just remembering some memories including people who were attending the “party” his mother had organised for him. A lot of his old friends were here, laughing with him at old high school memories. But even though he was acting as always as the most charming man, his mother knew that his mind was elsewhere. She apologized to the guests and took him apart to check up on him, starting to worry. “Are you going to be this way all the evening darling?” Anne asked her son with a sweet smile.

Harry shook his head to make all his disturbing thoughts disappearing into the back of his mind.

Sorry.” He apologized.
No need to be. But try to enjoy the night. These people are here for you.”
Yes, I know, absolutely. I’m sorry.” He said and kissed her forehead.

She was about to answer him when the doorbell ranged to announce a new guest. Anne cocked an eyebrow, looking around her, trying to guess who was missing but she couldn’t find. By her side, a glass of wine in his hand, Harry held a long tired sigh. He was happy to see all his friends again but in a way, it made him think of all the things he had missed during all those years on the roads. Some of them were married, others had children. What would he have become if he had stayed? She stood still when someone went to open the door, curious to know who the late person was.

You greeted the man who opened the door with a perfect smile that left him speechless. Making a few steps onto the house, you became a lot more reserved. You weren’t able to recognize anyone even though every single person was looking at you. You were walking with such confidence that it was making them insecure. A made a shy awkward little wave towards everyone, not really knowing how to behave. You hadn’t come back to Holmes Chapel for almost seven years. They couldn’t recognize you. The USA made you change so much. From the way you walked to the way you moved, you had changed for the best but you still had the little friendly light in your irises that made them realize who you were. Anne was the first one to realize.

Dear lord, (Y/N)!”

You turned your head towards her, watching her coming to take you in her arms, giving you a long hug. You hugged her back, hearing the whispers about you starting.

I almost didn’t recognize you. I’m so happy you could make it.”

Your smile widened. You had missed her so much. You were breathtaking and everyone could see it, yet you were so unaware of it.

So am I. You look so good Anne, I’m so happy to see you.”

You couldn’t remember how many times you had wished you could call her to hear her sweet voice. You were so young when you had left Holmes Chapel that you almost lost yourself in the town when you came back a few days ago. You had gone across the ocean because of your parents’ job. Getting used to the United States when all your life was in England was the hardest thing you had done in your life. You had your friends there. Fifteen years of your life and your first love. But you had kept going and memories faded, just as the moments you had had there. Until now.

Anne and you kept talking for what seemed to be forever. People were joining you, starting a conversation with you or hugging you to death, telling you how much they missed you. So many stories were shared. Your laugh was making them smile, they couldn’t look away from you. It was just like a movie. Your voice was calm, reassuring, yet so emotional. In a few seconds, you were back to the good old days but something was missing: the main reason of your presence. You could feel his gaze burning your skin. He was looking at you as if he was trying to figure out if you really were the girl he used to know. He could hear your voice over all the others. It sounded like a song; your tone going from extremely happy to calm, your smile appearing and disappearing for a few seconds. Nobody told him that you would be here and suddenly, a cold wave full of memories of you made him drown in your eyes when you turn your head to look at him.

The day you told him you were leaving, that you were moving overseas, the last thing you said to him. The last smile you shared. He was in the back of the room while everybody was around you, it had always been this way. It was the exact same way when you were young. It was so surreal that he wasn’t sure, were you the girl he used to know or someone else? He blinked a few times to get rid of the pictures in his head, realizing that you were then standing in front of him, looking at him like the first time, your usual smile on your face.

Would you offer me a moment before I go?” you asked him.
I...I was hoping you were someone I used to know.” He answered you, still in shock.
Oh please cupcake don’t be speechless it makes me feel so old.”

Your laugh warmed up his heart and the next thing you feel is his strong arms around your body. You stood still for a moment, realizing that he was hugging you. The sensations that were taking over your body were blurring your mind. You had passed seven years without those feelings and suddenly they were back because of him. You hugged him back, feeling his hand your back. His arms wrapped around you were keeping you against his body as if he was afraid of letting you go. You closed your eyes, inhaling his scent, easily recognizing his perfume. None of you cared about how long you had been hugging until you took a step back to look into his eyes which were burning into yours. You had always loved them. So green, so pure, so shiny.

Nobody told me you would be here.” he smiled, showing you his dimples and you couldn’t help but do the same.
I know, it was supposed to be a surprise. Plus I didn’t wanted to disappoint you if I couldn’t make it.”
You’ve changed so much.” he spoke softly.
Why do people tell me that! You’ve changed as much as I have, look at you. What are those? Black jeans. I only know you with blue jeans and tee-shirt while this is…Probably some Yves Saint Laurent shirt and the boots you’ve bought a few days ago. And don’t let me start about the hair, it is almost longer than mine.” you joked.

You were like a dream coming true. He couldn’t believe it. You knew it better than anyone even seven years after. It was so familiar. He wished he could go back to when he was young. It would be his only wish right now but you were in front of him and it took him back to all the moments you had shared as teenagers. He gave you a cheeky smile, you had guessed well, as always. You simply felt like home.

So, I heard that you’ve become a star?” you asked innocently, as if he wasn’t on all the front page of the magazines.
Oh, just rumours.” he answered, raising his eyebrows and shrugging.
Oh god Harry I knew you would be so humble! I was wrong you haven’t changed a bit.”
Is it a bad thing?”

You froze, shaking your head. No, he was the exact man you had fell in love with. He just had longer hair. Kind of.

Don’t be silly, of course it isn’t.”
So what about you?”
In college, as planned.”
Stanford?” he tried to guess.
Harvard.” You corrected with a smile.
And you were the one saying you would never go to college a few years ago!” he responded, truly amazed.

He didn’t know why he said that, talking about old stories. He was still holding on those memories. He couldn’t let it go. Not with you standing in front of him, looking better than ever. Who knows where he would be if he hadn’t let you go away.

Yeah I know. I was such a bad student but we were young, scared of getting old.”
But now we are.” He completed your answer. “Are you here alone?”

You were about to answer when your ringtone filled the room. You took your phone from your pocket, reading the name that was appearing on the screen. It answered Harry’s question for you. You looked up to meet his gaze who suddenly lost a part of his happiness. You apologized and answered, looking away for a few minutes to talk to your boyfriend, just long enough to reassure him and tell him that everything was okay. Harry suddenly realized that he wasn’t going to be able to win you back. He couldn’t move forward if he was still holding on his past. He wished he could stay forever young with you but people change, even though his feelings for you didn’t. When you hanged up, a flash showed up from Harry’s side and you raised your eyebrows, surprised.

Sorry, you were just looking incredibly beautiful under the light.” He explained.
Just in case it’s the last time, he thought and you could read his mind as it was an open book written for you.
I have to go, Harry. I have a flight in a few hours. I just passed by to say hi.”
Wait, you won’t disappear again, will you?”
No, I promise. Anne gave me your phone number so I’ll call you .” You reassured him.
Pinky promise?” he asked.
Pinky promise, Cupcake.”

You shared another hug. The kind of hug you don’t ever want to let go but you had to. You rested your forehead against Harry for a few second, just enjoying each other’s presence before turning away, ready to leave. He was letting you go again. He should let you go. You weren’t his anymore. It was years ago. The same thing as happening: you were going away, leaving him behind. He was leaving the same scene again and again and he remembered the last words you shared the last time. You had asked him if he would still care about you when you would come back. He didn’t answer because he didn’t know. He had wanted you to move forward with your life without knowing that he wouldn’t be able to. He should have let you go. You were in a relationship. But he was getting old. And reckless.

Wait, I still care. Do you?”

You stopped walking when you heard those words that made you reconsider everything. You looked at him, your lips possessed by a smile.

I do.” It was just like a movie.

The Faerie Queen said to Granny Weatherwax, in Lords and Ladies:

It must be terrible, knowing that you have no friends. That no one will care when you die. That you never touched a heart.

Death said to Granny Weatherwax, in The Shepherd’s Crown:

BUT YOUR CANDLE, MISTRESS WEATHERWAX, WILL FLICKER FOR SOME TIME BEFORE IT GOES OUT–A LITTLE REWARD FOR A LIFE WELL LIVED.  FOR I CAN SEE THE BALANCE AND YOU HAVE LEFT THE WORLD MUCH BETTER THAN YOU FOUND IT, AND IF YOU ASK ME, NOBODY COULD DO ANY BETTER THAN THAT…

And then, the rest of the chapter, and the chapter after that, and the rest of the book in fact, shows so many friends mourning Granny and celebrating her life, so many lives touched.  The Queen was as wrong as it is possible to be.  A multitude cared when she died.

Tell Her You Love Her: A Rilaya Songfic

Pairing: Riley x Maya
Summary: Maya reveals her feelings for Riley to her.
Song: Tell Her You Love Her - Echosmith
Rating: PG
Length: 2,535 words

Tell her a story
Tell her the honest truth

Maya takes a deep breath and takes Riley’s hand, absentmindedly rubbing her thumb over Riley’s knuckles as she stares down at their linked hands for several long seconds.

“Peaches?”

Maya blinks and looks up. It’s obvious there’s something on her mind, but Riley doesn’t know what to make of it. She’s been acting strangely all day and she’s worried that there’s something seriously wrong, but Maya had brushed her off earlier when she’d asked about it.

Now, Maya doesn’t say anything, but she keeps her hold on Riley’s hand and leads her through the apartment to the bay window. She only lets go when she they reach it and she sits down, waiting for Riley to do the same.

“Maya?”

She tries to coax Maya into talking again. Riley reaches out to gently lift Maya’s head by her chin as she had so many times before and she smiles encouragingly when their eyes meet. Maya smiles back and her tense shoulders relax slightly.

“I’m going to tell you a story, Riley,” Maya says. Riley tilts her head, ready to listen, and reassuringly squeezes Maya’s knee as she starts her story. “Once upon a time, there was a Riley and Maya….”

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So, yesterday I was reading fanfiction, and the writer mentioned how Emily has power over Alison - more power than she knows.

And that got me thinking, because I’m pretty sure I heard something like that before… 

This little rant includes things from the show and the books (because we’ve all noticed the little parallels, especially when it comes to Emison - or Emily/Courtney on the books).

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10
 『Free!』関西上陸スペシャル REPORT!! Part 1: The Before and After

I left for Kansai at 5 AM Saturday morning so I could spend Saturday with my (husband’s) family in Nara (part of the Nara-Osaka-Kyoto triangle of cool places in Kansai). I spent the day playing Pokemon with my niece and nephew and trying to explain what kind of event I was going to to 8 and 9 year olds… I went to bed early, as I was witness to the Makoto posters selling out within minutes of the Nakano event and I wanted to be up at the crack of dawn. But at 3 AM I got a Line (a chat thing) message from a friend ALREADY THERE WAITING saying about 60 people were ALREADY IN LINE. Holy crap. Lots of fans were staying in hotels near Miyako Messe so they simply chose to not sleep… I guess. I couldn’t get back to sleep myself and my father in law, bless him, was up at 4:30 AM to drive me to the first train I could catch (around 5). It was freezing cold in the morning, but my only jacket was a Samezuka jersey and it’s kind of weird to “cosplay” in the train, but I had no choice and pulled it on. From Nara to Kyoto, a real swim club, about 20 of them, boarded, and were pointing at me and giggling. I FELT LIKE SUCH A FAKER. As I neared Kyoto, more people with Free! straps and paraphernalia were boarding, but I was easily the most obvious in my freaking Samezuka jersey with my bright red hair. We pulled in around 6:30 and fast-walked to the venue. I followed a person in front of me I HOPED was going to Miyako Messe, and a group of about 20 others followed me, POSITIVE I was going there. We had NO idea how to really get there. My friend who had lined up at 3 wanted to let me sit with her, but cutting in line might have caused an issue (even though the staff said it was fine, we are too shy) so I sat with the group of people who’d gotten off the train with me. I was so sad thinking I would be so bored and alone, but soon another friend from Twitter (a Japanese Kou fan!) tweeted me to say was I in Rin cosplay and she thought she saw me and could she come play for a bit? Of course I said yes, so she came and sat with me for a while! Kou is her favourite and she had every Kou merch ever plus multiples on her phone, and we had a really fun time talking for a good half an hour about Season 2 feelings :D She offered to get me the Event Set, since we thought it might sell out and she was far ahead of me in line. Yessss!!! By the way, I was about 250 people deep in the line. There were about 2300 people in line a bit later. I don’t know how many eventually lined up, but it became a huge drama, and I will discuss it more later. I was still lonely so I began to hand out cookies to people around me to make friends. And it worked! They said they’d been listening in on me talking to my Kou friend and were interested in some of my opinions. So we began to talk! It was two of us, then it became four of us, then five as more people were drawn into our discussion about every single aspect of Free! and man it was so fun. I am SO GLAD I brought those cookies. I admitted I was following the one girl there, and the rest admitted they were following me, and all noticed me on the train in my Rin cosplay. I said my hair is always red and to cosplay Rin I just put on the jacket, but one day I SWEAR I’ll do it right. Once my hair is longer! It’s too short for a good Rin right now…. They were so curious about the non-Japanese fandom, and I talked about (mostly the good points of) it. One of the girls was a huge OLDCODEX fan so we talked about Tattsun’s horrible English and that went into Mamo’s horrible English. We talked about shipping a lot too, and I was kind of nervous at first, before I realized they were all super chill about ship-related stuff, so we had fun fangirly discussions. Whew!!! We were also given a voting card to vote for our favourite scenes (we found out later only the first 1000 got this card). Around 9:45 they began… though really, they should have begun at 9, because what a disaster this became because there just was not enough time to get 2300+ people through the line before the show started at 3. Soon after, my Kou friend came over and handed me my Event Set!!!! So we had the pamphlet earlier than everyone else!! We opened it and began screaming. Soon half the line was craning their necks to look at my pamphlet. So much screaming!! I tweeted one pic from inside drawn by director Utsumi and for some reason it started to get thousands of retweets? While almost inside I saw this and was astounded, and a girl near us leaned in to say “I retweeted it!”. Her and her friend became members six and seven of our group. Waiting for the line to move SO SLOWLY was boring and I won’t write more about that, except I saw so many cool Free! fans in line and took photos of some of their bags, especially an awesome Rei fan! It turned boiling hot too, and I threw off my Samezuka jersey at one point while yelling in my Rin voice “It’s too hot, fuck it! I quit Samezuka!” My friends laughed a lot at this so I felt like I was funny for a while.

We were all certain they’d run out of things the instant we got in, but as slowly as that damn line moved, still nothing was sold out even once we got inside. And inside was another line, winding around and down the stairs, where we saw the hold up….they had only about five or six registers?? And hardly any space. No wonder it was moving so slow. As we watched two more staff arrived in a hurry and they began to set up a new table to add two registers…too little too late. It was already 12:30 by the time we got our goods, ordered our alarm clocks (we get those in July! they were a special order item) and got out. So yes, I got up at 4:30, got on a train at 5:00, got in line at 6:30, which began to move at 9:45, and got my goods at 12:30. As I said, I was about 250 people deep, so it took them almost THREE HOURS to get through 250 people, with a line of 2000+ people waiting. There was NO WAY everyone would get a chance to buy goods, not at all. The line was so slow, not enough staff, not enough registers, and it was boiling hot, so people were getting ill. So yes, it was super worth it to arrive as early as I did, especially because I made so many new friends and had a GREAT time talking, making the time fly, but still! You had to arrive at the crack of dawn to even have a shot at it? Bad Planning + Free! fandom + Merchandise = always going to be drama. We met an eighth friend!!!!!!!!!!! And began to explore Kyoto to find food and rest and shelter from the heat! I kept looking at the huge goods line and feeling so bad for everyone in it :( We checked twitter updates all day, and the things we all wanted most… the Uchiwa (fans) and Rubber Straps…sold out shortly after we made it out. Waaah!! It wasn’t too long after we left that things began to vanish. Apparently 6:30 arrival was just right…. With eight Free! fans now gathered, we went for Kyoto noodles and had a good hour and a half long rest, during most of which time we spent fangirling. Our group was a pretty mixed batch that also well represented the Japanese Free! fandom. Everyone liked Makoto, much Makoharu, some Rinharu and one HUGE Reigisa fan (ME) while everyone else agreed they are “such an item”. Four girls loved Makoto the most, two were big on Rin, many of us seemed a bit mixed too? Which is also fairly representative of the Japanese fandom. Though I was the one who loves Rei best, the way I talked and dressed everyone assumed Rin was my top favourite (many people do since I ALWAYS TALK ABOUT HIM!!).
In any case……it made me feel happy, and I really enjoyed the Free! fandom that day, and everything about it. It was just wonderful and peaceful and fun to talk with so many different fans who loved different aspects of the show and fandom. Nobody was fighting with one ANOTHER, though some fans were quite mad with the staff…understandably. To cut a long story short, this is the part where we headed back and went inside and found our seats. The seat numbers were made up for this event so no map told anyone where they were sitting. One girl from our group ended up in the VERY FRONT. I actually had a GREAT seat myself, maybe twenty or so rows back, but that was quite close compared to some people in some seats that were utterly awful, I felt so bad just looking at those seats… though the voice actors tried to make up for it later… :D After the event, we were asked to stay in our seats while the director of the event got on stage and profusely apologized for the goods line clusterfuck. He began to instruct people about what goods they still had (they’d made something like 6000 pamphlets for an event with 3200 people…?) and how to get them and again how sorry he was for how bad and horrible the line was, but I was already tuning this out since I had tweets to twit and I already had my most wanted goods safely tucked in my bag. But, this guy’s ten minute apology + twitter reports are how I know people were quite pissed. I don’t blame them!! The other seven people in my group and I all followed each other on twitter and plan to remain friends in Free!dom happiness for all time, even though we are all from Tokyo, Saitama, Osaka, Hyogo, Chiba, and other random places… Thanks to them, what was supposed to be a day spent munching goldfish and reading my kindle all alone turned into a fast paced, fun and fangirling filled day of 100% Free! obsession and discussion and speculation and love :D

Now stay tuned… for Part 2 of the 『Free!』関西上陸スペシャル report… the CONTENTS OF THE EVENT ITSELF!! Thanks for reading!!

This conversation today about actors and fanfiction reminds me of Jennifer Morrison and Michael Raymond-James being asked about it back at SDCC 2013. I really respected their responses:

Has there been fanfiction written about your characters?

MRJ: I’m sure…

JMo: Yeah, we don’t read it. I find it kind of hard and complicated with the internet and Twitter and all this stuff. I do feel like it’s a wonderful way to interact with people who are so supportive of the show and I also feel like I have to be very careful, and I think we all sort of feel this way, to avoid looking at any of the good or the bad of some of that stuff because otherwise it’s  … if you believe the good then you have to believe the bad and there’s some really nasty things out there. So in order to sort of protect the decisions we make for our characters and to be genuine about the way we play our characters we have to sort of try to stay clear of some of that stuff and do our best to kind of not look at the good or the bad … a little bit.

MRJ: It’s also just not practical really. Nobody has a simple backstory in this show. Things are complicated enough and we have to focus on the words that we’re told to say that are written for us as opposed to reading about somebody’s else’s sort of extrapolation of where they would prefer it to go. Or you don’t want the brain to be like “That’s a really good idea! Let me run that up the flagpole!”

[x]

So, how would I feel if Jen or Colin mentioned that they read a CS fanfic? Honestly, probably a little disappointed. The exchange above was absolutely the way I want my favorite actors to answer the question of fanfiction … at least while the show is going on.

I think fanfiction must be consumed responsibly. Kind of like alcohol. I see it in fandom all the time that people apply their headcanons or character traits they picked up from fanfiction and then applying it to the canon of the show. I joined the fandom following the S3 finale and after a summer hiatus filled with fanfic the Emma and Hook I saw on screen in S4 were a little bit jarring …

So for actors I think it’s important for them to not confuse the character that they play by introducing someone’s else’s interpretation of the character and possibly letting that person’s reaction and decisions seep into the choices they are making for their character.

A potentially negative opinion under the cut:

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vanityfair.com
Hollywood Is Staging a Quietly Feminist Pregnancy Revolution
The Night Manager, Outlander, Neighbors 2, and more are carving a new niche for pregnant women in Hollywood.
By Joanna Robinson

Over on Starz’s Outlander, the Season 2 faithful-to-the-book pregnancy plot is more standard TV-drama fare, including a devastating miscarriage. But as is usually the case with that series, the revolution here is sexual. When Claire and Jamie Fraser—the smoking-hot couple at the center of the series—finally overcome their Season 1 trauma to reconnect sexually, Claire just happens to be quite pregnant.

Rather than hiding it under sheets, Outlander showed actress Caitriona Balfe with an impressive prosthetic belly astride her husband. “It’s a beautiful part of the story line,” Balfe tells Vanity Fair. “[Jamie actor] Sam [Heughan] and I, we kind of fought to keep the belly. Originally, I think they were just a little bit like, ‘Maybe nobody wants to see that.’ It was so important to us to show that this is their safe place, and this is the hope.”

Though Balfe has never been pregnant herself, she says she learned a lot about pregnant women from Outlander author Diana Gabaldon. “Diana had written me the most beautiful e-mail about pregnancy. She was like, ‘I’m going to tell you things that your mother’s never told you.’ She was so honest and so articulately beautiful about the process. The good things and the bad things. We talked about how sexual pregnant women feel and how that can be such a strong feeling, and to relegate that and to not use it I thought would have been a real disservice to the journey of this couple.”

After being in love with a boy for a long time, receiving nothing but friendship back I decided to tell him.
I wanted to tell him how I found everything about him perfect, and that there was nobody else I would ever love like him, because he was my first love.
But I didn’t do that, I would never show him that I could be so weak. Instead I told him that I liked him, and that I knew he didn’t feel the same. And then I asked for his thoughts on the matter. As I read his response my heart slowly broke into thousands of pieces. But I couldn’t be mad at him, because he told me in the most gentle way. To me this was the hardest part; I wanted to hate him, but I couldn’t. Because he never hurt me, he just didn’t love me the way I loved him.

Nobody is suddenly empathizing and caring about Anne Frank for the first time because its possible she’s bi. Nobody. This is not something that’s happening at any worrying level. If you can show me otherwise, do so.

People are happy about Anne Frank being bisexual because it means representation. Everyone knows Anne Frank. Everyone has heard the name and at least one or more versions of her story. (Play, actual diary, etc.) 

Do you know what that feels like? To be told that someone everyone knows was like you? 

If you’re straight or even gay, probably not. You have representation. Now I’m not saying that gay representation is perfect or in excess, and I’m definitely not saying its equivalent to straight representation. But its there. You have role models. Both gay and straight people have people of their sexuality that are well known and famous. Some of them are even actually bisexual. 

So you have no idea what it feels like when someone so well known is shown to be like you.

Stop shaming bisexuals for being happy that Anne Frank could’ve been bisexual.

Darren motherfucking Criss as Hedwig.

I don’t often do recap posts, but I am still so overwhelmed, twelve hours later…I just need to put all my thoughts in one place. I’ll want these memories someday. I don’t want to forget a moment of last night.

To start, my seat was amazing. Eighth row, dead center. Max Adler was two seats in front of me, and Mia was right in front of him. There was an important producer type that I recognized in my row - I haven’t been able to place his face yet, but I know he’s VIP. Orlando Bloom sat in the row in front of me. He caught me staring at him. My three Legolas action figures and I are not sorry.

(SPOILERS START HERE.)

And then: the lights went down, I turned my phone off, clutched my tissues in my lap - and down came Darren, looking absolutely stunning. I’m sure there’s been commentary on how he clearly developed abs for this role, but I think he also worked on his thighs…they were a sight to be seen in those fishnets.

So, he looked fabulous. Everything else was…well, I was nervous for him, during Tear Me Down (the first musical number). He missed a few notes, and had some difficulty singing into the mic, due to both the choreography and the wig getting in his way. He also dropped the mic several times, and at least once was clearly flummoxed and unsure what to do about it. At this point, I was on high alert for a potential hot mess.

I am so fucking pleased to report that no hot mess took place. You could feel the transformation from “Darren figuring his shit out” to “Darren owning the stage.” It was a slow build, though. During rehearsals a while back, the band had tweeted that Darren’s version of Origin of Love would bring us to tears. I braced myself for that…but while it was a really great rendition of the song, it was just. A song. Not a Moment, not something that moved my heart. Darren definitely nailed the vocals and the emotion of it, though. I’m so interested to see how he changes up the phrasing and riffs on this over time. I really believe it’s going to be AMAZING, given time for him to get comfortable with it.

For me personally, the transformation, the “oh shit” moment when I realized Darren was going to be great, happened in the lead-up to Sugar Daddy. He was so fearless with the story of meeting Luther. (Side note: the first time he broke out the Luther voice, all deep and raspy, exactly one person laughed, cracking up loudly enough to be heard throughout the theater. It was Mia.) He just really committed to that sequence. And then…Sugar Daddy happened. Oh my good god did Sugar Daddy happen. The audience interaction, the lewd dancing, the suggestiveness, the cocked hips, the hip thrusting, climbing up and down the set pieces, the facial expressions…oh my god. There’s just nothing else to say. Oh my god. That was the moment when I knew: he was gonna kill it. Angry Inch and Wig in a Box just cemented that. Wig in a Box in particular - he was just JOYFUL. Transcendent. He owned that song.

I had gone in assuming that I’d be crying the whole time, but it actually took me a long time to get there. I was clapping and screaming a lot, which, luckily, everyone around me seemed to appreciate, as they were doing a fair amount of it themselves. (Everybody was. The crowd was GREAT.) What ultimately did it for me was Wicked Little Town, which I didn’t expect - it’s not even close to my favorite song in the show. But the arrangement let Darren’s voice shine and really be at the forefront, and he was just so goddamn heartfelt. Cue the waterworks.

The waterworks continued right through the lead-up sequence to the Long Grift. The way Darren portrayed Hedwig’s breakdown and inability to sing the song…it was heartbreaking and perfect. More tears. Hedwig’s Lament was chilling, and Exquisite Corpse was INTENSE. Both Darren and Rebecca smashed it. Darren’s body language and the way he interpreted the choreography, the way he writhed and rolled around on the stage and just used his body to act out Hedwig’s pain…crazy good. He left it all out there. No holds barred. I did a lot of face-clutching at this point. (Well, extra face-clutching. I’d been pawing at my face on and off since the curtains went up.)

And the last numbers…the Wicked Little Town reprise and Midnight Radio? Darren sounded amazing, Rebecca sounded amazing, the crowd was so into it, it was spiritual and uplifting and perfect. Turns out Darren pulls off a pair of tiny black pleather boyshorts with aplomb. Nobody is surprised, I’m sure.

Darren’s face at his curtain call was priceless. He mouthed “we did it” to the crowd, and he was right - we super fucking did. His eyes were shining, and his whole body radiated happiness and gratitude. Orlando Bloom gave him a standing ovation.

Perhaps the best part of this experience, though, happened after the show ended. We were all doing the slow theater exodus, shuffling in the general direction of the doors at about .037 miles per hour - which meant that I could hear everything VIP producer from my row and his buddies were saying. And that was a gift, because they were RAVING about Darren. Just everything you could ever hope to hear. “He’s got it all” and “he’s amazing” and “there’s nothing he can’t do”…that almost made me cry more than the show. For me, 2015 will mark five years of stanning Darren. The first time I saw him live was in December of 2010 at the Roxy in West Hollywood, with a few hundred other people. Nobody knew who he was, or cared. When I came home and told people who I’d seen, they all answered “Who? What?” I can’t even describe the pride and joy I feel when I think about how far Darren has come. It’s just so incredibly gratifying and important and emotional to see other people, important people, acknowledging his talent, his stage presence, his everything.

So, in short: brb buying fifty million more tickets to see him again \o/