nobody likes a show off

One morning Sirius Black saunters into the Great Hall with his hair in a bun and tie loose as can be. And he plonks himself down at the table and everyone just stares. 

Because his neck is covered in hickeys. 

And he’s all grins and showing them off like nobodies business.

And all the girls in the Hall are eyeing each other up like ‘Which one of you bitches got to do that? Fuck you why wasn’t it me…’

McGoangall just stares for second before averting her eyes. She can’t think of any rules he’s broken but Jesus Christ should that be allowed?

And James walks in, hand combing through his hair before he see. And he just raises he eyebrow and smiles.

‘Merlin Remus, get a bit carried away did we?’

And Remus is just siting there, red as tomato, wanting to die because it’s so embarrassing and someone is laughing oh no.. 

But secretly he is really fucking pleased with himself. Like, damn. I did that.


I don’t know man.. Wolfstar with hickeys just makes me happy.

  • Simon: which way did they go?
  • Jace: well based on the direction of the wind, the broken sticks in the corner and the slight disturbance in the dirt, I'd guess they went left
  • Simon: you could really figure it out from all that?
  • Jace: no you idiot. they sent me a text, see?
6

ACI

Moulin Rouge opening, practice

Having seen the first two episodes of The Crown I can say that this is quality period piece shit right here, and you should all watch it.

Featuring:

  • the King of England saying “cunt” within the first ten minutes
  • Philip telling a tribal king that he likes his hat only for Elizabeth to hiss “That’s a CROWN darling” beginning the lifelong Windsor issue of “Don’t Let Philip Talk To POC Just… Don’t”
  • King George VI being like “she is the job Philip loving her protecting her that’s the job” and Philip nodding vigorously because holy shit his father  in law is literally holding a shotgun
  • (I died)
  • ELEPHANT ATTACKS
  • Margaret being so scandalous you can’t handle it~
  • like???? lots of unexpected medical stuff???? so watch out
  • The quiet but insistent screams of American Netflix viewers going “I DON’T UNDERSTAAAAND” and “DON’T KISS HER FEET THAT’S GROSS” and “WHYYYYYYYY DO YOU HAVE THESE PEOPLE?”
Imagine #22: What a Stupid Cube

Request:  Heres a request for you :3 how about reader vs pan with pillow fight


It was a dreary day on the island, clouds hung overhead, and there was a constant pitter patter from the rain hitting the rooftops of the cabins. You were currently sitting on the floor messing around with the rubik’s cube you had Peter create for you. Although you couldn’t remember why you were so insistent on him creating it for you considering you always hated them growing up.

You blew your hair out of your face and with one more twist of the cube you threw it across the room, still frustrated that you couldn’t seem to solve it. “Stupid cube,” You muttered with a glare, “No one can solve it anyway. If they do they’re cheating.”

“I don’t think that’s true, Y/N. I think you’re just upset you can’t solve it.” You glanced up and saw Peter standing at the doorway, a smirk on his face and amusement in his eyes at your frustration.

Your glare sharpened and you crossed your arms, “Oh yeah, like you could even solve that stupid thing.”

He only chuckled as he walked across the room. He picked up the cube and you watched in amazement as he twisted the cube around and in a minute had the thing complete. He looked at you and held the cube in the air, “See? Not that hard.”

Your jaw was hanging open, and seeing the cockiness in his eyes made you want to scream. You stood up and looked around before your eyes landed on your pillow. Without another thought you grabbed it and swung. The pillow knocked him in the shoulder and he yelped in surprise. “Nobody likes a show off, Pan.”

He stared at you for a solid minute before conjuring a pillow of his own, “If it’s a fight you’re looking for, Y/N, then it’s a fight you’ll get.” He swung his pillow, but before you ducked before it hit you. You simply laughed before taking another swing at him, hitting him in the stomach. A grin stretched across his face as he smacked you in the arm.

The two of you went back and forth with one another, laughing and mocking each other before at the last moment he grabbed your pillow and pulled you forward. You knocked into him causing you two to crash you the ground. You both shook with laughter as you caught your breath.

As the laughter died down you guys were left staring at one another. It seemed as if everything slowed down, the rain had stopped, and there was nothing but the two of you. Just as the two of you were about to kiss, Peter smirked and said, “So not only did I solve the rubik’s cube, but I won the pillow fight, too.”

You glared at him, but the smile was fighting its way to your face. “Oh hell no. You’re going down, lost boy.” You stood up and grabbed one of the discarded pillows.

He stood with you and grabbed the other, a smirk covering his face as the playfulness shone in his eyes. He simply quirked an eyebrow, “Bring it, lost girl.”

About crop tops and self-confidence.

Characters: Phil Lester, Dan Howell.

Summary: Dan wears a crop top for the first time. He’s insecure.

Word Count: 328

Warnings: hurt/comfort, fluff.

A/N: Inspired by that comment on the Sims from Dan. My beta is still awesome @lauraalla.

Dan looked at himself at the mirror and couldn’t quite tell if he looked good or ridiculous. He heard Phil call him from the lounge and bit his lip.

Keep reading

lefou moments™
  • “she’s so well read and ur so fucking hot athletically inclined”
  • "why do you need her when you have us?” translation: “u and me are practically married already why r u never happy goddamnit gaston”
  • “i’m not done with you yet” “me neither” ;-;
  • “it’s never gonna happen ladies” *prances off after his actual bf*
  • lefou copying gaston’s mannerisms ;-;
  • lefou biting his lip as gaston’s describing married life…and then looking annoyed once gaston mentions belle
  • gaston: “while my love massages my tired feet” lefou: *starts to massage gaston’s back*
  • when he got the dirty old drunk guy to rub gaston’s ears ahahah i was laughin
  • i s2g i thought he broke that dude’s neck jfc
  • lefou, laying across a table in draw-me-like-one-of-ur-french-girls position & singing about gaston’s manliness,
  • “they’ll tell you which team they prefer to be on”
  • tom dick & stanley’s faces say it all
  • the wink
  • when he smacked stanley on the head… & then when he grabs tom by the face to get up onto the table ahaha
  • hes just rlly adorable during the “who breaks hearts like gaston”. happy clappy boi
  • “NOBODY BITES LIKE GASTON” *SHOWS OFF GIANT BITE MARK IN AN AREA NO STRAIGHT MAN SHOULD BE BITING* WHAT DO THESE WRESTLING SESSIONS ENTAIL?? IS WRESTLING A CODE WORD FOR FUCKING??? UM???
  • lefou turning a bro handshake into a gay ass cuddle sesh & looking like it was his favorite place in the world to be (“too much?” “yyyyyep”)
  • him paying everybody to go along with it. him perfectly orchestrating & choreographing everything. my what a guy that lefou
  • when he couldnt get on the table i laughd so hard man
  • gaston: “i shoot from behind” lefou: bent over the table, now on top of the table, now on his hands & knees, now flat on his back staring up at gaston…
  • clearly everyone was choreographed except josh gad. they just told him “prance around & act gay. stand on tables a lot. u can improv the rest. just make it rlly homoerotic” & he was like “k”
  • the…noises as gaston’s describing how he hunts. those r. questionable noises..
  • gaston picking lefou up with one arm & lefou swooning..his faceeee lmfao
  • him dancing while gaston’s on the table aww i luv him
  • gaston dropping his drink down for lefou to catch & drink ;-;
  • the graceful jump from one table to the next ahah
  • how happy they both were when they were dancing on the table, even if gaston shoved lefou out of the way so he could have the spotlight. like those were genuine smiles. the actors were havin a damn blast.
  • my illiterate son,,
  • how he modestly looks down at his feet when gaston says he’s the best
  • “how has no girl snatched you up yet?” 
  • “i’ve been told im clingy” he says, practically sitting on gaston’s lap, his arm around him, “but i really dont get it.”
  • awkward moment of silence. awkward gaston coughs awkwardly. lefou stares at gaston, clearly thinking, “why hasnt a lady snatched me up yet? did ur dumbass srsly just ask me that? r u fuckin serious?? u dumb motherfucker??”
  • lefou’s bitch face….
  • like his arms r crossed & he looks pissy as hell when maurice walks in. hes rolling his eyes. what a little bitch. i fuckin luv him
  • “ohhh”
  • “do u really wanna marry into this family?”
  • how he like. slowly & gingerly cimbs out of the carriage. i thought that was sweet. he’s slow & calculating, in comparison to gaston’s fast & impulsive. 
  • "deep breaths, gaston. deep breaths. think of the war! think of the widows!”
  • ofc gaston’s “…the widows :)”
  • the nose boop. the booping of the nose. pls.
  • lefou’s face after maurice says "u will never marry my daughter” “i saw that coming”
  • lefou’s face when they leave maurice
  • lefou’s face when he sees maurice is alive
  • hes so precious he was so worried augh 
  • i like how he’s talking abt maurice but then gaston looks at him & he shuts up instantly. poor lefou. my poor boi
  • gaston practically seducing lefou by grabbing his chin and staring deeply into his eyes, their faces like barely an inch apart,,, fuk,,,,
  • it was in order to manipulate him by disorientating him in an intimate way…but it was still p fukin hot & def p fuckin gay
  • lefou’s face during that…poor thing
  • also maurice’s face during that says a lot too i think
  • also josh gad has nice eyelashes lmao
  • lefou protesting that they should storm the castle. gaston threatening him. lefou glaring at his back the rest of the mob song. poor bb
  • “are u not the least bit concerned this castle is haunted?” “dont lose ur nerve, le fou”
  • “oh hello! u must be the talking tea cup! & u must be his grandmother!”
  • “gaston!” le fou shrieks as a piano falls on him, which gaston purposely allowed to fall on him,
  • “gaston, help me!” “sorry old friend. it’s hero time” “ouch” defeated sad le fou gives a defeated sad le sigh
  • plumette harassing le fou,,poor le fou. hes having a bad day already
  • le fou & mrs potts teaming up
  • “well ur too good for him anyway” *gay nodding*
  • he was disinterested in the dance & then stanley showed up & he was like ‘omgomg ok cool yes i cant live w this’
Asphalt Saviors, Pt. 9

Jared Padalecki x Reader

Characters: Jared, Reader, Caliban (OMC), Landlord

Word Count: 1.4K

WARNING: FLANGST, CONFRONTATION, PISSED OFF JARED (def a warning) DOUCHEBAG LANDLORD, FAINTING

Summary: Jared Padalecki is a successful actor with millions of fans around the world. But as an unmarried 35 year old bachelor, he wishes he could share his success with someone special. He truly believes he’ll be single forever, until he witnesses a robbery in progress.

[[This is a work of fiction. No hate/disrespect intended towards Genevieve or the Padalecki children. For this purpose of this series, Gen was never on Supernatural and therefore never met Jared.]]

Catch Up Here!

Keep reading

Growing up a street orphan, and a blind one to boot, certain social niceties just…. pass Chirrut by.

He learns the basics the hard way, like when he’s very small and gets cuffed hard round the head by a merchant for taking a leak in front of his stall. Where else was he supposed to go? How was he to know how and where everyone else did it? The only lessons Chirrut ever learned as a child were taught with pain.

He learns the finer nuances of people when he’s older by listening, picking up conversations from the types who forget the blind can hear them perfectly well. He learns, for instance, that nobody likes a show off, despite the fact that every one of these people loves to talk about themselves, conveniently for him.

This is something of a revelation for Chirrut; his lack of manners has often cost him the friendship of the other beggar children, and this could be the reason why. Chirrut is good at many things, but showing off is one of his specialities. This is his first lesson in humility, and it earns him friends for the first time in his life.

These friends are the ones who take him to the temple when he’s wracked with lung illness from the cold, the ones who say they’ll miss him when Chirrut accepts the Masters’ offer of a home. They see his need to understand the world around him and the humble strength in his milky eyes. He will make a fine guardian.

That is, if they can just get him to understand the point of clothes. See, the streets of Jedha are so cold that Chirrut knows with confidence that he wore his filthy layers of banthahide round the clock to keep the freeze out. It’s only logical then, that in the acolyte lodgings lit with well-stoked braziers, or down in the kyber caves with their glowing, core-heated salt pools, or anywhere in the temple with a roof, and therefore warmer than chirrut has ever been- why would he wear clothes?

His only clue to the fact that he might have messed up yet again is when Baze, his new friend, and the best he’s ever had, chokes and coughs when Chirrut enters the mess hall bare and happy on a rare, tepid Jedhan day. Baze always reacts this way to Chirrut’s nudity, always bundles him away from the others just when they start whistling and calling things he never picks up. No one ever explains these things. He just pushes Chirrut’s robes into his arms every time, scurrying away before Chirrut can ask him.

“What is it this time?” he complains. Baze’s sleeve brushes against his lower back. “Aren’t you warm in those? It’s not even cold today!”

“Clearly,” mutters Baze, and he sounds breathless. What in the stars is that supposed to mean? More riddles of the sighted.

Not many years later Baze explains the concept of showers and growers to him, hot face buried in the crease of Chirrut’s hip, and he understands.

Baze explains everything for him now, and Chirrut sees the world in ways he never thought he would. He still begrudges clothing on warm days, though.

6

Remember that turtle you had last summer? Walter? And you guys were really, really into him for like two weeks… and you talked to him and you fed him. I mean, you took him everywhere with you, right? But after a while, you know, you guys got busy with other things. So Walter’s water never got changed and nobody fed him. Then like two months later… Debs, you wanted to show off Walter to your friend Susie… and you guys started looking for him and when you found him, he was all dried up and dead. Now, you see, you guys are that turtle, okay? And dad’s you.

Me on a date: So what do you think about Tron:Uprising being cancelled?

Them: What that spin-off show that nobody liked? It’s a good thing that it was cancelled! The animation and the characters were near unbearable! It would have destroyed a bit of Disney’s reputation if it continued.

Me, shoving breadsticks into my purse: Sorry I have to go home right now immediately. 

Baby Rule Book.
  • Food does in fact taste better after its been mushed into your hair, hands, clothes and any furniture within reach.
  • The best time to poop is without a nappy on.
  • If the above is not practical, just before you leave the house when you’re already running late works too.
  • Bath time= splash time. The more mess the better.
  • You don’t need to be sad, tired, hungry, too warm, too cold, wet or bored to cry, just do it!
  • Toys aren’t really that fun.. plug sockets and breakable things on the other hand, are.
  • Your parent’s hair is only there to be pulled.
  • That baby who lives in mirrors and looks like you is hilarious. 
  • 5am isn’t really that early.
  •  Feet belong in the mouth. (The tongue does not however- leave it hanging out as much as possible).
  • Oh and even if you’ve done something 1000 times in front of your parents, don’t do it when they try to show someone else what you can do. After all, nobody likes a show off.