nobody knows it...so it won't get any notes but I don't care

You know...

I’m tired of being a people pleaser. 

I need to do something for my fucking self and stop worrying about what you will think of me afterward. 

When people up and leave me, I call it “pushing them away”. Like it’s my fault and entirely on me somehow. 

but no. thats not it at all. they CHOSE to leave. Every decision that they made, they made consciously and I will not sit here and blame myself for it. I will not sit here always feeling like I’m on the verge of tears. Like there is a 20 pound weight on my chest. I don’t care that I don’t have a shitload of fans or a crew. Nobody stayed because they were toxic or didn’t want to be there. And that’s fine. I was put here for a reason and that reason isn’t you. so I’m done with this fucking pity party.

It is my life. You’re either coming along for the ride or in it for the long haul.