hunk and keith headcanons [insert sunglasses emoi]
“so hunk…how do you feel about cryptids?” “oh god. you’re just like pidge.” “don’t worry. we’ll convert you.”
a month later// hunk: i’ve decided my favorite cryptid is the jackalope. it’s cute and seems arguably nonviolent keith: oh that’s a good one. my favorite cryptid is pidge pidge, in the other room: i Heard that
hunk tries to help make the food coran cooks more palatable for all of them but keith is such a fucking picky eater when he’s able to be
hunk: how is it that you ate canned pears for months at a time and were satisfied but now that you’re in space you’ve decided to get all choosy
hunk is a really nice guy but that doesn’t mean that he won’t stand up for himself lmao so keith gives him an attitude he gives it right back
keith is secretly impressed
keith wants to be as strong as hunk wtf…hunk could lift the whole ship if he wanted to probably
but hunk is modest so keith says this to him one day and he almost passes out
keith’s work here is done
hunk is the only person who can make keith laugh until he cries and nobody else understands it it’s a fucking anomaly
how does he do it? teach them hunk
keith feels most comfortable discussing concerns with hunk or shiro but because shiro is having such a tough time he starts going to hunk more and it’s really so hard for him to open up to people but it seems so nonthreatening when it’s hunk he’s talking to…it’s weird but he can dig it
and hunk never judges him or makes him feel unintelligent for asking about something most people probably know or think is common knowledge and keith really appreciates that
plus hunk is literally always both dying and on fire so he can understand the need for reassurance
which is actually a great plus side to being friends with keith too because he never gives anything but the reality and that’s very grounding for hunk and his anxiety like keith never makes up anything just to make him feel better he describes the situation as it is
on the flip side keith also causes hunk’s heart rate to skyrocket because he’s always doing some type of dangerous shit that everyone has heavily advised against
hunk: are you really sure you wanna do that we’ve all discussed at great length how much of a horrible idea that is keith: …anyways [does it]
keith is touch starved as hell even if he won’t admit it and hunk is the team’s Official Hug Dealer
hunk has had to carry keith away from a fight so many fucking times. can keith calm the hell down. hunk just slings him over his shoulder and walks away with him while keith seethes like an angry cat.
keith cannot get over how strong hunk is. he tried to pick up hunk’s bayard while in gun form and almost broke his spine. what the fuck.
keith: so is hunk a nickname or…? hunk: no that’s my real name keith: hm. fitting. hunk: [screaming with his mouth closed]
hunk and pidge are So Smart it’s wild y’all. at first when they started talking to each other while keith was in the room he felt like they were speaking a different language but he’s like learning by osmosis and now he can understand like 20% of their technical talk
hunk: refers to something using the highly complex technical jargon no one but him understands keith: the what hunk: i’m so sorry. the tool to your right.
the nausea hunk experiences while in flight never really goes away even after they start flying on a daily basis so sometimes hunk will lay on the couch dying silently and keith will just rub his tummy
I know Steve gets in a lot of dumb fights now, but what was the stupidest fight he got into pre-serum?
we grew up mostly during the prohibition, when alcohol was illegal. i mean, it was still pretty easy to get your hands on some, because people like alcohol, but most of it tasted awful, because it was home-brewed to be as strong as possible.
anyway, stevie and i got a bit of some really terrible hooch and squirreled ourselves away to get drunk. it took steve about four drinks to be totally wasted, and it turns out steve is a pretty entertaining drunk, with crazy fast mood swings and a tendency to want to touch things, just to see how they felt. he was wandering around the apartment trying to figure out if dark colors or light colors felt better, and he wanted to see if my hair–a nice dark color, versus his light blonde–felt nice. so i let him run his hand over the top of my head, and i was teasing him because he had all the fine motor control of a baby, so he’d made a mess of my hair. i think i said something like ‘my hair’s terrible now, stevie, and now nobodys gonna respect me’ and steve went ‘NO!! you have nice hair bucky your hair is GREAT it is SO GREAT.’ which was nice of him, because my hair really was a mess.
and then he punched me.
he punched me several times.
drunk steve is not much of a brawler so he didnt do much damage before i tipped him over and sat on him. it wasnt much of a fight. but if youre looking for stupid, attacking me to defend my own hair is probably one for the history books.
sometimes i miss wee steve, because big steve thinks my hair is ridiculous. i bet if tiny drunk steve were around, hed try and fight captain america to defend my hair’s honor. now that’d be a fight worth watching
“I PAID FOR EARLY ACCESS! I PAY A SUB! THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!!”
Uh no, no you didn’t. You either paid $40 for normal or $60 for Special Edition Digital. Or like $200 if you got the physical Special Edition. You did not pay a penny more for Pre-Order. Your get the privilege of early access if you ordered it early. That’s it.
Early Access is useful because it allows SE to get a hang of some bugs with a high congestion of players now rather than on the 20th. So all this bitching about standing in a line that you chose to do? Or whining about the DCs and high queue rate? You knew these were coming. This happened in HW! We’re a high population server, folks!
So just..sit down, have some tea, and check your privilege. Be thankful you’re one of the fortunate folks that could afford the game early, or you won it in a giveaway, or you were gifted it. You didn’t pay a penny more and it’s really not that big of a deal. Don’t like it? Go sit in the back row and wait for the 20th like the folks who didn’t pre-order for one reason or another.
If you ever worked QA, you’d understand that this is useful stress testing on a lower load level than when we approach the 20th. Sure, thing may still break on the 20th, but I’m sure they’ll do their best to fix what they can now, with what early access players are experiencing.
This isn’t exactly new for MMO expansion releases, folks.
or even if your abusive behaviour is you reacting really badly to mental illness or old traumas
even if you’re making an honest and sincere effort to not be abusive anymore and not engage in controlling behaviours
if someone does not want to be around you they have the right to leave
nobody owes you extra chances, nobody owes you a nice sit down where you just explain, nobody owes you forgiveness or understanding or patience or the opportunity to hurt them again just so you can prove you won’t take advantage of that opportunity, this time
if you try to guilt or coax or bully them into staying, no matter how sad you are or how sure you are you can stop hurting them – you’re just doing the same damn thing all over again.
if you are truly committed to not being an abuser anymore, you have to do it specifically to stop being an abuser at all, not as a way to get someone to stay when they don’t want to.
you have to actually follow through with that commitment, and let people make decisions you don’t like without trying to punish, manipulate, or intimidate them into doing what you want.