nobody ever explains it

Fanon Lotor be like

i am not even sorry just take this

BTS’s reaction to you getting fired because you broke your boss’s arm for touching you inappropriately

Request: Bts, How would they react to you telling them you got fired from your job because you broke your boss’ arm because he tried to feel you up. You didn’t even regret it.

A/N: I was listening to a lot of sad music while writing this. Also, super sorry to all the requesters I was unexpectedly busy last week…

*WARNING: Contains foul language*

-Admin KenKen

Namjoon: He would get so heated after you told him what your boss did to you that he’d start pacing around the house asking where the hell your boss was because he just wanted to talk. You would eventually tell him that s/he’s at the hospital because you broke their arm, to which he replied, “Damn right you did!”

Jin: The thought of what your boss did to you would make him so outraged, but he wouldn’t show it because he wanted to comfort you more than anything right now. “You’re going to be okay, it’s all over now. I’ll make sure nobody ever touches you like that again.”

Yoongi: After you explained what your boss did to you, he would go straight for the car keys without any words, just a very pissed off look. It was once you told him that you broke your boss’s arm, that he stopped from going to your workplace and beating the shit out of that person. “S/He deserves it for trying to feel you up!”

Hoseok: His smile would immediately fade away once he saw you coming through the door crying. “What happened?” He asked and you told him everything that went down at work. His mind flooded with a million thoughts, he couldn’t really think of what to say, so instead he hugged you and ultimately whispered reassuring words every now and then.

Jimin: I think he would be a mixture of Jin and Yoongi, because he would want nothing more than to beat your boss’s ass, but he knew that you needed to be comforted right now. He tried his hardest to hold in his rage as he held you in his arms and listened to you.

Taehyung: He’d start pacing around, like Namjoon, because he couldn’t believe something like this would happen and he wasn’t there to protect you. He would even get a little teary-eyed due to the frustration and just wondering how your feeling. “I hope that bastard is in pain right now.”

Jungkook: He would be a lot like Jimin and Yoongi in this situation. He wanted to go find that boss of yours and deal with that person himself because he feels like your boss didn’t even get half of what they deserve. He eventually would calm down and make sure your were all right.

*GIF’s are not mine. Credits to the owners of them.*


For years, Prince William found himself in a state of shock, unable to deal with the tragic death of his mother Princess Diana. As the nation wept that summer in 1997, in private William couldn’t allow himself to grieve. Quite simply, aged 15, he locked his emotions away, burying them beneath routine and a most dutiful, demanding public life. Until now. Recently, William has started talking about his loss, opening up and admitting his struggle and its effects - now he is passionately calling for all men to follow his example through his mental health campaign, Heads Together. In what is undoubtedly the most candid interview he has ever given, the 34-year-old future King talks exclusively to GQ about his mother’s death, his relationship with the media, his work, his family and how he is determined to lead by example. Oh, that my mother was alive to see me now, walking into Kensington Palace on a sunny spring day, to take tea with the future King William. Born in the same year as the Queen, 1926, and given the same Christian name, Elizabeth, my mother “Betty” was a fervent monarchist; indeed one of my earliest political memories is of the row provoked when, about half a century ago, I refused to listen to the Queen’s Christmas Day message. She and I also used to argue about Prince William’s parents as the disintegration of their marriage provoked a bitter propaganda war between them and their supporters. Once I got to know Princess Diana, in a series of extraordinary meetings (see my diaries, volume one) before Labour won power in 1997, despite the nasty columns I used to write about her as a journalist, I became something of a fan. I was smitten indeed, and so took her side in the Charles-Diana rows taking place in homes up and down the country. My mother was more for Charles, seeing as how he was going to be the next king. It is not a conversion from republicanism that has sparked this meeting with the Prince - though “President Trump” would challenge anyone’s faith in an elected head of state - but a common cause, namely the desire to eradicate the stigma and taboo surrounding mental illness. Prince William, his wife Catherine and his brother Harry, have chosen mental health as their main cause, and their Heads Together campaign has been successfully promoting the importance of being as open about our mental health as we are about our physical health. When they started off down this path, the republican in me was annoyed they could get so much traction for anything they did; but the Time To Change mental health campaigner was overjoyed. They have overseen the making of a series of short films showing the importance of talking about mental health problems rather than bottling them up. To my surprise, I was asked to take part in a film, talking with my partner Fiona about how my mental health troubles impact on us. Then, even more surprisingly, given how few extended interviews he gives, he agreed to be interviewed for GQ. I had met him a few times, on the British and Irish Lions rugby tour of New Zealand in 2005, for example, and more recently at a dinner where I asked him whether he would follow the lead of his grandmother when he became king, by never giving an interview as monarch. Here, I was keen to test two things in particular. One was whether his commitment to this cause was real and whether he had a proper understanding of the issues. You can make up your own mind on that, but after an hour and a half at the palace, mine was made up in his favour. Secondly, I wanted to see how close to the public persona the more private man in his own habitat might be. Would he speak with the same stilted style that seems to characterise his public speaking? He didn’t. Would he have a sense of humour? He did. Would he stand on ceremony? He didn’t. Was there any real passion behind the shy exterior? There was. Indeed, were she still here, I would have called my mum and told her, “Good news - I liked him.”

What son doesn’t miss his mother when she’s gone? As you shall see, almost 20 years on from that car crash in Paris, Prince William clearly misses Princess Diana intensely, saying it is only now he feels able properly to talk about her death, the extraordinary week that followed it, and the enormous impact it had on him and his brother. He doesn’t believe she had mental health problems, and nor does he think that he does. But the trauma he suffered losing her so young, and in such awful circumstances, partly explains why he is determined to get the nation talking more about our emotions, not least because, in life and death, his mother changed the way we express them.

AC: So what’s a nice future king like you doing with an old leftie republican like me?

PW: That’s a very good question Alastair [laughs]. To be honest, I really don’t care where people come from, I like meeting and talking to people from all backgrounds. And this is a good opportunity to talk about something that is very close to your heart, and very close to mine.

AC: And why is mental health so close to yours?

PW: Practically everything in my charitable life, in the end, is to do with mental health, whether it be homelessness, veterans’ welfare, my wife and the work she is doing on addiction; so much of what we do comes back to mental health. Also, if I think about my current job as a helicopter pilot with the air ambulance service in East Anglia, my first job there was a suicide and it really affected me. I have been to a number of suicides, self harms, overdoses.

AC: In what way did it affect you?

PW: Not just the person who lost their life, but the people they leave behind. One of the stats I was given was that, just in the area we cover in the east of England - my base is in Cambridge - there are five attempted suicides every day. Yet suicide is still not talked about. So people have the pain of loss, but also the stigma and taboo means they are sometimes ashamed even to talk about how a lover, a partner, a brother, a sister, a best friend, how they died. That stat - five attempted suicides in the East Anglia region alone - it blew my mind, I thought, “Oh my God, this is such a big issue.”

AC: I am a patron of the Maytree suicide sanctuary in north London, and you and your wife made a private visit there. What impact did that have?

PW: The thing that made an impression on me, it wasn’t just the feelings of the people, the pain they were going through and the care for them, it was that this is the only place of its kind in the UK. It may be the only one in the whole of Europe, and I thought, this is terrifying, it really is, there should be more places like this, where people can go when they’re desperate. I have spoken to suicide groups and having been through personal grief myself, I had an inkling of what to expect, but it was all so raw. When someone does end their own life, [there are] so many questions, people feeling guilty, why didn’t we see it, why didn’t we do more, and all surrounded by this massive taboo. I found it eye opening, so revealing as to what goes on in people’s minds.

AC: When you land in your air ambulance and you get out, what on earth do they say when they see you?

PW: We are only likely to be there if people are in deep trauma or unconscious.

AC: But the other people there?

PW: We are often the first on the scene. Also, I do hang back a little. We land, we secure the scene, I will be sorting the comms for the next flight, and then I might be running around helping with equipment and so on.

AC: Nobody ever has to explain, say, “Sorry, don’t worry about him”?

PW: Most people seem to guess, but I do keep as far back as I can and let the team do what they have to do. I maybe carry the stretcher, carry the kit, sort the comms for the next leg. It is all very fast paced.

AC: Why do the three of you work together on Heads Together?

PW: It is a bit of an experiment really. The Royal Family has not normally done this, three members of the family pulling together to focus on one thing. Normally things are quite disjointed, we follow our own interests and see where it goes, but we thought, well, if we tied it together and had a focused approach, how would that work? We wanted to see the impact we could have.

AC: You must get bombarded with approaches and requests? How do you decide what causes and events to support? Do you try to be strategic about it?

PW: Focused rather than strategic, I would say. When I settle on something, I want to dig deep, I want to understand what I am involved in, I want to understand the complexities of all the issues and, above all, I want to make an impact.

AC: Do you not get frustrated, though? Of course, there are advantages to your position but there are limitations too, because you cannot stray into politics. So you can’t do what I do and bang the drum for more resources and more action from government. Is that not really frustrating?

PW: It can be frustrating at times. I watch the political world, I am interested in it, at times I feel there are things going on I could really help with, but you have to understand where you sit and what the limits are; and with regard to what we do in our charity work, I like to think you can do just as much good but in a different direction.

AC: It’s great you guys are getting involved in mental health. Generally, my worry, though, is there is a danger that making improvements on stigma and taboos is seen as a substitute for services, not an accompaniment. Presumably you saying something like that goes beyond acceptable limits?

PW: No, not at all. I can say that. If I attack government policy, no, I can’t, but I can certainly make that kind of point. What we can do is convene, bring people together, organise private meetings, get experts in one room who might otherwise not always meet, they tend not to refuse an invitation, and we can thrash things out.

AC: Is it very much Harry on veterans, Kate on addiction and young women, you on men in general?

PW: A little bit. Harry has the Invictus Games and focuses a lot on veterans. But we are not stuck in our boxes. We are all three of us trying to understand the tentacles of mental health, which go everywhere. I do think if you are focused about general aims you can have a much greater impact. So we do try to stay focused, not splurge around.

AC: Are you in the mental health space for the long haul?

PW: Medium to long term, definitely. What we would love to do is smash the taboo. Getting the London Marathon as the mental health marathon, that was a big thing, and I hope we are reaching a tipping point. But it is a bit like wading through treacle. It is tough. We are now looking at a legacy programme. We are not going to rush, and the mental health sector has to believe in what we might propose, so we are getting expert opinion and then we will pick and choose and decide what we do.

AC: Why don’t you do the London Marathon yourself?

PW: I would love to, but from the policing point of view, they tested it and they were like, “What?” I am keen to do a marathon but it won’t be London.

AC: What about getting a treadmill in here and doing it while everyone else is pounding the streets?

PW: It would be so boring.

AC: Be great television.

PW: I think I would have mental health issues if I was just staring at that wall. I do want to do it though - and the training. In the military we did plenty of similar things to marathons, like yomping over the Brecon Beacons with a ton of kit on your back. I am just pleased we got London as the mental health marathon.

AC: Do you have specific goals and outcomes for the campaign?

PW: Smashing the taboo is our biggest aim. We can’t go anywhere much until that’s done. People can’t access services till they feel less ashamed, so we must tackle the taboo, the stigma, for goodness sake, this is the 21st century. I’ve been really shocked how many people live in fear and in silence because of mental illness. I just don’t understand it. I know I come across as quite reserved and shy, I don’t always have my emotions brewing, but behind closed doors I think about the issues, I get very passionate about things. I rely on people around me for opinions, and I am a great believer in communication on these issues. I cannot understand how families, even behind closed doors, still find it so hard to talk about it. I am shocked we are so worried about saying anything about the true feelings we have. Because mental illness is inside our heads, invisible, it means others tread so carefully, and people don’t know what to say, whereas if you have a broken leg in plaster, everyone knows what to say.

AC: This is my vested interest speaking here, but what with the marathon and the other things, do you think you might stay in this mental health space for good?

PW: We want to see what impact we can have.

AC: You are making an impact now.

PW: I feel we’re going in the right direction, but not making as much impact as we would like. You know what it is like, you want to get there, grapple with all the issues, get there quickly, make the change that is needed.

AC: But in your position, can you do that?

PW: You can, but you have to do it carefully. Maybe we do make change but the way we do it is slower. We get the benefits of more publicity for the things we do.

AC: I do remember when your father’s letters used to come into Number Ten. Will you go down that route, with his very frank letters to ministers?

PW: [Laughs.] Could you read them?

AC: It wasn’t the handwriting that was the problem.

PW: I have written to ministers but purely to point them towards people I think they should see. So a charity might ask me if I can help with someone and I can help get them access to the people in government.

AC: So you don’t lobby but you introduce?

PW: There are issues I am interested in and I am happy to connect people to ministers.

AC: But you’re perhaps not as robust as your father?

PW: My father has always come at this from a depth of knowledge and a desire to help. He only gets involved in anything when he has those two things: knowledge matched to a desire to help. He genuinely cares. We can argue till the cows come home about whether what he says is right or wrong, but he lives this stuff every day, goes into minute detail, wants to help inform opinion and provide knowledge. I would love to know what the public really think, whether they feel shocked or pleased he gets involved. He has done this for a long, long time, and I think he has used his role really well to raise a lot of questions that people need to ask.

AC: So what might this mental health legacy be?

PW: One idea is getting mental health first aiders in schools. Teachers are under such pressure, they face so many challenges every day. They cannot be expected to be mental health counsellors as well, so we thought there must be a way of having mental health first aiders who can be attached to one or two schools.

AC: Is that something you would promote or fund?

PW: That is what we need to work out. It is a bit of a challenge, but we have a whole range of ideas we are looking at.

AC: Now, tell me about the idea of the films - and thank you for asking me to do one.

PW: Thank for you doing it. I watched it this morning.

AC: What was the purpose of them?

PW: This was predominantly about the importance of the conversation. The point we wanted to get over was that, often, talking is the best thing you can do - it can start the whole process of recovery. For a lot of people things brew up, particularly men maybe, they don’t want to talk about problems.

AC: When you were growing up, when you were still at school, did you feel you were surrounded by people who couldn’t talk about feelings?

PW: Yes, I think so, but I do think a generational shift has gone on. If I look at my parents’ generation, there was a lot more stiff upper lip going on. Don’t get me wrong, there is a time and a place for the stiff upper lip, and, for those of us in public life, times when you have to maintain it, but behind closed doors, in normal everyday life, we have to be more open and upfront with our feelings and emotions. Mental health in the workplace is a huge issue, and a sensitive area, and leadership is important here. When you see people in high-powered jobs in the City and big corporations who got there despite their mental health problems, that is a huge success story and it shouldn’t be seen as anything else.

AC: Or maybe people get there because of their mental health problems too.

PW: Absolutely.

AC: I feel I owe mine quite a lot.

PW: Absolutely, but what is really important here is that we are normalising mental health, so if a CEO comes out and says, “I went through this, I got through these dark times,” that is amazing, it normalises, it has an impact then in that organisation and beyond. But without that kind of thing, people tend to make excuses, avoid talking about issues that may be affecting them, pretend everything is fine.

AC: So as an employer, if one of your staff came and saw you and said, “I am really struggling,” do you think you would deal with that properly?

PW: Definitely. I am not pretending I am an amazing counsellor, or a specialist, I’m not, but I would take it seriously and if they needed help I would find it for them.

AC: Now, on the stiff upper lip, I can see why there may be a place for that. But listen… my mother died when I was 56, she had a full life, died quickly, relatively painlessly, but it was very upsetting. I am not sure I could have walked behind her coffin with millions of people around the world looking at me, without crying.

PW: No.

AC: So how hard was that?

PW: It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. But if I had been in floods of tears the entire way round how would that have looked?

AC: How can you not be in floods of tears if you feel like being in floods of tears?

PW: In the situation I was in, it was self-preservation. I didn’t feel comfortable anyway, having that massive outpouring of emotion around me. I am a very private person, and it was not easy. There was a lot of noise, a lot of crying, a lot of wailing, people were throwing stuff, people were fainting.

AC: As you were walking?

PW: Yes. It was a very unusual experience. It was something I don’t think anyone could have predicted. Looking back, the outpouring of grief and emotion was very touching but it was very odd to be in that situation.

AC: When you were up at Balmoral through the week, were you conscious of how big it all was down here in London?

PW: No, not at all. All I cared about was that I had lost my mum.

AC: So you were protected from everything happening on the Mall?

PW: Yes. I was 15, Harry almost 13, and the overwhelming thing was we had lost our mother.

AC: So when you came back, and you saw how big the reaction was?

PW: I didn’t take it in. I still didn’t realise what was going on, really.

AC: Did you grieve?

PW: That is a very good question. [Pause.] Probably not properly. I was in a state of shock for many years.

AC: Years?

PW: Yes, absolutely. People might find that weird, or think of shock as something that is there, it hits you, then in an hour or two, maybe a day or two, you are over it. Not when it is this big a deal; when you lose something so significant in your life, so central, I think the shock lasts for many years.

AC: My favourite soundbite of the Blair era was not from him, but your grandmother after 9/11, when she said, “Grief is the price we pay for love.”

PW: Yes, absolutely.

AC: But for you to say you felt you were in shock for years - how much harder is it when you are having to grieve or try to grieve with this extraordinary level of global scrutiny, and the endless ridiculous fascination in every detail of your and your mother’s lives.

PW: It does make it more difficult. It doesn’t make you less human. You’re the same person, it is a part of the job to have the interest. The thing is, you can’t bring all your baggage everywhere you go. You have to project the strength of the United Kingdom - that sounds ridiculous, but we have to do that. You can’t just be carrying baggage and throwing it out there and putting it on display everywhere you go. My mother did put herself right out there and that is why people were so touched by her. But I am determined to protect myself and the children, and that means preserving something for ourselves. I think I have a more developed sense of self-preservation.

AC: Yet the Heads Together campaign is all about saying we should talk, be more open about our emotions, out with the stiff upper lip, in with more talking.

PW: Absolutely.

AC: So is it different for you?

PW: Well, I am in the role I am in. But if I had mental health issues I would happily talk about them. I think the closest I got was the trauma I suffered when I lost my mother, the scale of the grief, and I still haven’t necessarily dealt with that grief as well as I could have done over the years.

AC: Who do you talk to?

PW: Family, friends, I talk to those around me who I trust.

AC: But it can’t be easy in your position to find people you can trust totally.

PW: It is hard. But I have always believed in being very open and honest. One of the few strengths I might have is I am good at reading people, and I can usually tell if someone is just being nice because of who I am, and saying stuff for the wrong reasons.

AC: Have you ever talked to people other than friends and family about your feelings?

PW: No I have not talked to a specialist or anyone clinical, but I have friends who are good listeners, and, on grief, I find talking about my mother and keeping her memory alive very important. I find it therapeutic to talk about her, and to talk about how I feel.

AC: So we are coming up to the 20th anniversary of her death. Are you looking forward to that? Or are you dreading it?

PW: I am not looking forward to it, no, but I am in a better place about it than I have been for a long time, where I can talk about her more openly, talk about her more honestly, and I can remember her better, and publicly talk about her better. It has taken me almost 20 years to get to that stage. I still find it difficult now because at the time it was so raw. And also it is not like most people’s grief, because everyone else knows about it, everyone knows the story, everyone knows her. It is a different situation for most people who lose someone they love, it can be hidden away or they can choose if they want to share their story. I don’t have that choice really. Everyone has seen it all.

AC: The first time I met your mother, in 1994, she said, “Why did you write those horrible things about me when you were a journalist?” I said, “My God, I can’t believe you read that stuff.” But she did. I was shocked that she had read it and also remembered it, it was years earlier. It made me think at the time that some people reach a certain level of fame at which media and public cease to see them as human beings. Do you think that is what happened to her, and do you think it has ever happened to you?

PW: Not with me, no. I think with her it was a unique case. The media issue with my mother was probably the worst any public figure has had to deal with.

AC: What? The intrusion, the harassment?

PW: Yes, but more the complete salacious appetite for anything, anything at all about her, even if there was no truth in it, none whatsoever.

AC: So you don’t have any sympathy with the argument that she cultivated her own friends in the media and fed the whole thing?

PW: I have been exploring this. Remember, I was young at the time. I didn’t know what was going on. I know some games and shenanigans were played, but she was isolated, she was lonely, things within her own life got very difficult and she found it very hard to get her side of the story across. I think she was possibly a bit naive and ended up playing into the hands of some very bad people.

AC: Media people?

PW: Yes. This was a young woman with a high profile position, very vulnerable, desperate to protect herself and her children and I feel strongly there was no responsibility taken by media executives who should have stepped in, and said, “Morally, what we are doing, is this right, is this fair, is this moral?” Harry and I were so young and I think if she had lived, when we were older we would have played that role, and I feel very sad and I still feel very angry that we were not old enough to be able to do more to protect her, not wise enough to step in and do something that could have made things better for her. I hold a lot of people to account that they did not do what they should have done, out of human decency.

AC: Were you not tempted to give evidence to the Leveson Inquiry?

PW: We discussed it, but decided in the end not to. Remember, we were the first to expose the phone hacking.

AC: You seem to get a hard time from one or two papers these days. Do you think there is a bit of score-settling going on?

PW: I don’t know.

AC: Do you get followed and chased by paps on bikes?

PW: Not often. But there is a lot of quite sophisticated surveillance that goes on.

AC: So even if not phone hacking, which is far from guaranteed, the press have moved on to other things?

PW: I suppose the one glimmer of light is that because of what happened to my mother, we do not get it as bad as she did. We still have problems, for sure, but do have a little more protection because of the ridiculous levels it got to for my mother - the fact she was killed being followed, being chased, I think there are more boundaries to their actions.

AC: Really?

PW: It is a little better than it used to be.

AC: During the week of her death, Tony Blair spoke to your father and he said to me afterwards, “This is going to be a problem, those boys are going to need help, they are going to despise the media, blame them for her death, yet the media will be a part of their lives.”

PW: Yes, they are.

AC: When you were in Paris recently, posing for hundreds of photographers with President Hollande, did you look at them and wonder if any of them were among the ones who chased her that night?

PW: I’m afraid those are the kind of things I have just had to come to terms with. It is so hard to explain, using only words, what it was like for my mother. If I could only bring out what I saw and what happened in my mother’s life and death, and the role the media played in that, that is the only way people would ever understand it. I can try to explain it in words, but to live it, see it, breathe it, you can’t explain how horrendous it was for her.

AC: Do you think the reaction to her death was a big factor in diminishing the stiff upper lip approach, and changed the way we mourn? Do you think the kind of reaction we saw when, say, David Bowie died last year, would have been the same without that reaction for your mother?

PW: No it wouldn’t. The massive outpouring around her death has really changed the British psyche, for the better.

AC: You do think it is for the better?

PW: Yes, I do think it is for the better.

AC: How much did that week after your mother’s death bring you and Harry together?

PW: We are very close.

AC: And that feeling of shock, sadness, you never felt it strayed over to what I would know as an illness, depression?

PW: I have never felt depressed in the way I understand it, but I have felt incredibly sad. And I feel the trauma of that day has lived with me for 20 years, like a weight, but I would not say that has led me to depression. I still want to get up in the morning, I want to do stuff, I still feel I can function. Believe me, at times it has felt like it would break me, but I have felt I have learned to manage it and I’ve talked about it. On the days when it has got bad I have never shied away from talking about it and addressing how I feel. I have gone straight to people around me and said, “Listen I need to talk about this today.”

AC: Like when?

PW: Last week with the air ambulance, I flew to a really bad case, a small boy and a car accident. I have seen quite a lot of car injuries, and you have to deal with what you see, but every now and then one gets through the armour. This one penetrated the armour, not just me but the crew who have seen so much. It was the feelings of loss from a parent’s point of view, the parents of the boy. Anything to do with parent and child, and loss, it is very difficult, it has a big effect on me, it takes me straight back to my emotions back when my mother died, and I did go and talk to people at work about it. I felt so sad. I felt that one family’s pain and it took me right back to the experience I had. The more relatable pain is to your own life the harder it is to shake it off.

AC: How has the passing of time helped?

PW: They do say time is a healer, but I don’t think it heals fully. It helps you deal with it better. I don’t think it ever fully heals.

AC: Is there a part of you that doesn’t want it to heal fully because for that to happen might make her feel more distant? So you feel the need to stay strongly attached? If grief is the price we pay for love, maybe you want to keep the grief out of fear that loss of grief means you love her less?

PW: One thing I can always say about my mother is she smothered Harry and me in love. Twenty years on I still feel the love she gave us and that is testament to her massive heart and her amazing ability to be a great mother.

AC: How different do you think the country would be if she was still here?

PW: I have thought about that, but mainly from my own perspective. I would like to have had her advice. I would love her to have met Catherine and to have seen the children grow up. It makes me sad that she won’t, that they will never know her.

AC: What about the public Diana?

PW: I think she would have carried on, really getting stuck into various causes and making change. If you look at some of the issues she focused on, leprosy, Aids, landmines, she went for some tough areas. She would have carried on with that.

AC: She was an extraordinary woman.

PW: She was.

AC: How hard do you find the scrutiny? I mean you can’t even do a bit of bad dad dancing without someone taking a video?

PW: [Laughs.] Honestly, I can dance better than that. It’s true though, camera phones, Twitter, there’s not much privacy. I don’t think it was too bad. It wasn’t as if I was falling out of a nightclub, totally wasted. I think people realise everyone has to blow off a bit of energy and tension every now and then.

AC: So how did you feel when some of the papers said you don’t work hard enough?

PW: Criticism is part of the turf, I’m afraid. I think the public are much more nuanced. I have my air ambulance job, I carry out the duties the Queen asks me to, I have my charities and causes and I am raising a young family, so I can’t let that criticism get to me.

AC: A couple of the papers do seem to have turned against you, though?

PW: There is a certain element of Fleet Street getting fed up with nice stories about us. They want the past back again, soap, drama.

AC: Do you see it as part of your job to avoid giving them that? A bit of normality, stability.

PW: I couldn’t do my job without the stability of the family. Stability at home is so important to me. I want to bring up my children in a happy, stable, secure world, and that is so important to both of us as parents. I want George to grow up in a real, living environment, I don’t want him growing up behind palace walls, he has to be out there. The media make it harder but I will fight for them to have a normal life.

AC: But surely you must accept it is an abnormal life?

PW: Totally, but I can still try to protect them as children.

AC: The Queen, your father, you, now George. Four people on the planet who might one day be the head of state in the UK. It is fair to say republicanism has lost, not least thanks to your grandmother. The monarchy seems to have bucked the trend even though we live in a non-deferential, anti-establishment age. Do you feel that?

PW: I do feel the monarchy is in a good place and, like you say, my grandmother has done a remarkable job leading the country - her vision, her sense of duty, her loyalty, her steadfastness, it has been unwavering. We now have three generations of working royals, four altogether, and having that movement through the generations allows for the monarchy to stay relevant and keep up with modern times. You are only as good as your last gig and it is really important you look forward, plan, have a vision.

AC: Do you not look at the Queen, yet another garden party, yet another investiture, yet another state visit, and think how on earth can she keep going?

PW: Yes I do.

AC: Do you, your father and the Queen ever sit down, just the three of you, and just natter?

PW: [Laughs.] What, about Lady Gaga or something? [Prince William had recently recorded a Facetime chat with Lady Gaga for the campaign.]

AC: I was thinking more about being head of state. I mean, how do you learn?

PW: You learn on the job. There is no rulebook. I sometimes wonder if there should be, but in the end I think probably not. Having that difference in how we do things makes the Royal Family more interesting and more flexible. If we all followed the same line, it would all be quite stifled. Our characters are different and the different opinions are important to have.

AC: Your grandmother has always believed in there being a bit of mystique attached to it all as well.

PW: Absolutely.

AC: Never ever given an interview.

PW: No. Never. I seem to have sold the pass on that one.

In which we post kitchen best practices that nobody ever bothers to explain to newbies because experienced cooks just assume they’re obvious:

  • The secret to frying sliced meats (e.g., ham, bacon) without scorching or splattering is long cooking times at low heat. If you picture your range dial as a scale from 1-10, try about a 3. Also, lay the meat in a cold pan and let it heat to frying temperature with the meat already in it - it won’t curl up that way.
  • If your re-heated dishes are coming out of the microwave sizzling on the outside and cold in the middle, dial it down to 60% power and double the cooking time. That power setting’s there for a reason.
  • When cooking soup, add the salt at the end. Soup reduces as you cook it, and evaporation concentrates salt - a soup that has the perfect level of saltiness near the beginning of its cooking time will be inedible brine by the time it’s done. Also, the effect of adding salt to a soup is more or less immediate, so it’s perfectly acceptable to rely on trial and error here; just add a dash of salt, stir well, and taste-test right away. Repeat until you get it right.

Your turn!

Uncle Rudy

So, what do we know about the mysterious Uncle Rudy?

“The siren call of old habits. How very like Uncle Rudy – though, in many ways, cross-dressing would have been a wiser path for you.” (Mycroft, HLV).

We know UR was in the Intelligence/British security business as it was he who ‘managed’ the Eurus situation after she torched Musgrave Hall. That UR had both knowledge of and access to a place such as Sherrinford, suggests that not only was he deep within British Intelligence at the time (and remember, this is going back some 30-odd years), but that he also held a very senior post.

Was UR Mycroft’s predecessor? Did Mycroft inherit the mantle of British Government Omniscient from UR’s shoulders? If this was, in fact, a family inheritance, then I feel UR is related on the paternal side - the line of 'Holmes’ rather than a maternal uncle, though there is no evidence one way or the other (is there?). For some reason, I see UR as the elder brother of the Holmes father. Having slightly odd names would have gone in the family, so a 'Rudolph’ would have been entirely normal by family standards. Assuming Daddy Holmes is about 77-ish in the series (Timothy Carlton was born in 1939), then an older brother would have been at least a year or so senior and probably a bit more. This would most likely make UR’s birthdate between 1933-1937. Let’s say 1935.

We also know that UR was most likely a transvestite. Given the timeframe - this would have been around the mid-seventies, bang in the middle of the Cold War - then UR’s personal preferences would have been kept very well hidden; one did not publicly acknowledge such leanings and remain in high office in the Intelligence services at that time.

Mycroft also says “The siren call of old habits…” which further suggests that cross-dressing had been something UR had done and then given up, only to return to the practice (the 'siren’ call) at some point later on, most likely when he felt sufficiently secure in his professional position to handle the risk of discovery without undue concern. This further suggests that during the time of Eurus’ incarceration at Sherrinford, UR had become even more powerful than he had been when he shut her away.

Assuming Mycroft Holmes was born in the mid-sixties, then he wouldn’t have been more than 10 or 11 when Musgrave Hall was destroyed. It would be at least another seven or eight years before he’d be old enough to join the Civil Service (because that’s what British Intelligence officers are, Civil Servants). This means Mycroft would be about 18 or so in the late seventies. Naturally, he would have gone to university first. By his patronising and somewhat superior demeanour, I’d imagine him attending one of the older Oxford colleges or perhaps even London’s Imperial College. For some reason, Mycroft doesn’t feel like a Cambridge man. Cambridge would have been far too liberal for his tastes. UR would now be in his mid-forties, the same age that Mycroft is in the series.

At university, Mycroft would probably take PPE and languages given his inherent linguistic skills. He would almost certainly knock off his undergraduate studies in record time and possibly spend an additional year polishing things off with an M Phil. This would make him around 22-23 by the time he’d finished with his studies and was ready to find productive employment. At this point, in the early1980s, Margaret Thatcher was PM and there was significant growth in British Intelligence, not only to deal with the fallout of the Falkland Islands war, but also the risk posed by Soviet interference due to the rise of rampant unionism in the UK at the time. UR is now around 50 and at the height of his power (most senior Civil Servants retire between 55-60 years of age).

It would have been at this point that UR had the perfect opportunity to recruit his nephew, the young and fiercely clever Mycroft Holmes into the Intelligence services, probably as a junior analyst to begin with, until he was able to demonstrate his incredible intellectual prowess. This brings the timeline to around 1985 or so. It would take a few years for Mycroft to begin to rise (despite all fantasies, the British Civil Service has some of the strictest employment and promotion policies in the Western world). Therefore, Mycroft would be in his mid-to-late 20s (25? 26?) before he’d be in any position to share secrets with UR. At this point, I think UR would have been in the top seat himself and thus able to expedite Mycroft’s upward movement.

These (admittedly huge) assumptions being even remotely accurate, then at some point in the 20-year period between 1990 and 2010, UR dies and Mycroft is promoted into his uncle’s shoes. He takes his uncle’s government role, his responsibilities (Eurus’ ongoing captivity is only one minor issue) and his wedding ring (this begs another question about UR’s wife. Whom did he marry? What happened to Lady Holmes? (I see UR as being knighted by this time)). That the ring belonged to UR also explains why nobody ever asks Mycroft about it or why he’s wearing it - they all know that UR was his mentor and naturally, there would have been a closeness of sorts. This then postulates that Mycroft would have been in his current role for at least fifteen-years before the series starts in 2010, which feels about right.

Can anyone add further detail to my surmising?

anonymous asked:

Support!reader who has a crush on cuties of your choice that are of a different class, but they're nervous about making a move because "oh I'm just a medic. I'm not nearly as impressive as they are"

(Let’s go withhh…Hanzo, D.Va, and Junkrat!)


Genji quietly watched as you watched Hanzo, waiting for the moment when you’d get up and actually say something to him.

“It has been a long time since someone has expressed romantic interest in my brother,” he pointed out.

“Oh, I don’t doubt it,” you sighed wistfully.

“And he often looks lonely after missions,” he continued.

“Yeah, I’ve noticed,” you mumbled, eyes still glued to the archer.

“…So!” Genji finally groaned.

“So what?” you snapped, finally turning to him.

“Go talk to him!”

“T-Talk to him?” you stuttered nervously, “No way, th-there’s no way he’d want to talk to me. Especially since he’s busy with those targets…”

“He’s always busy with targets,” Genji rolled his eyes from behind his visor, “He doesn’t need the extra practice, he just does it when he’s lonely or troubled,”

“It’s nice to watch…” you smirked a little, watching as his muscular arms drew back the bow.

“[Name!]” Genji brought you back to reality, “Why don’t you go talk to him. You’ve had this crush on him since you came to Overwatch, but you never make a move!”

“Well that’s because–I mean–he’s a sharpshooter, a sniper, a strong warrior of Overwatch! And I’m just a support unit…I hop in and out of fights to help people, relying on my teammates to protect my sorry butt…”

Genji sighed, “So you’re intimidated? Is that it?”

“…Yeah…” you admitted.

“[Name], I’m an offense unit,” he said bluntly, “You weren’t afraid to approach me,”

“Th-this is different,” you stammered, “I didn’t have a crush on you,”

“[Name], none of us think you’re a useless addition to the team. We all value our support units, especially you,” Genji explained softly, “Nobody would ever belittle you for your support status, especially Hanzo. I think he admires those who can save lives so easily,”

You shifted uncomfortably as you thought it over. It was just that grim, dead-set face Hanzo always had. He seemed like he never had time for anyone much less little support units.

“We are defined by who we are, not what we are,” Genji concluded, sounding just as zen as his master.

Taking a deep breathe, you nodded, “Ok, you’re right! I need to stop telling myself I’m not good enough! I-I just…need to go over to him…a-and say something,”

“That’s the spirit!” Genji cheered.

“Well go on,” he urged.

“I can’t. My feet feel like they’re stuck!” you whimpered nervously.

“Just get out there already!” Genji laughed, giving you a nudge towards his brother.

Stumbling forward, you watched the archer hit another bull’s-eye, pulling another arrow to his bow. Cautiously, you came up next to him, watching him release the arrow and hit another target in the center.

“Hello, [Name],” he said gruffly, still totally concentrated on his work, “Is there something you need?”

He looked so scary and powerful! Why were you trying to waste his time?! Aaagh! Nervously, you glanced back towards Genji for some kind of help. The cyborg just gave a little “go on” gesture.

“A-Actually…” you mumbled anxiously, “I–uh–came to watch your target practice a-and um take notes! Yeah, my…my aim really i-isn’t very good so um I mean yours is! So I thought I-I could learn a thing or–uh–two from you…I mean as long as that doesn’t bother you, you know…”

Hanzo suddenly stopped midway from grabbing another arrow. Then his eyes slowly turned toward you, looking more surprised than usual.

“You…want me to teach you?” he asked with a hopeful look in his eye.

“Ummm…” you glanced back to Genji who was nodding furiously and giving you a thumbs-up, “Y-Yes! If it’s not too much trouble!”

“Of course not,” Hanzo shook his head, picking up a practice bow and handing it to you, “I’ve noticed your aim in battle. I was hoping you would try to fix it,”

You cringed. Were you really that bad at hitting your targets?

“But I am glad you sought me out to help you,” he gave a slight smile, “I was afraid you had been avoiding me,”

“Avoiding? Heh, nah o-of course not!” you giggled.

“Support units seem to be so nervous around me,” he said in a ponderous tone, “I was beginning to worry that I had been frightening you away…”

“No, no, it’s not th-that!” you tried to tell him, “I’m shy by nature, I promise!”

He tapped his finger to his chin a few moments before saying, “Very well, let us begin with your stance,”

Your whole face grew hot as Hanzo suddenly stepped behind you, wrapping his arms around yours and guiding your hands into the right positions. Then he nudged your foot with his and instructed you to tighten your grip. You glanced back at Genji again, who looked like he was laughing from behind his visor.


You always admired D.Va so much. She fearlessly flew into every fight with her meka, disrupting the enemy’s ranks and wreaking havoc. Then just when they thought they had taken down her meka, she’d shout “nerf this!” and blow them all to smithereens! You thought she was simply amazing and almost made you wish that you were a tank unit. But you were just a support unit, sticking back with the offense units and keeping them supplied with shields and heals.

But one day, during a really rough battle, D.Va started calling on her comm link for extra backup: things like more firepower, defense, and a support unit to keep her going. No other supports responded, so you were the one to answer her call and move to the front lines. It was scary as all hell up there, explosions and bullets flying, yet Hana kept her cool like it was another day at the arcade!

“Thanks for coming to help guys! Their snipers are really annoying but their offense won’t let me get close to them! Could you guys keep their offense busy?” she explained, then turned to you, “And [Name], could you pocket heal me? My meka’s gonna fall apart without your heals!”

“U-Uh–yes! Yes ma’am!” you piped almost like a robot.

“Hee hee!!” Hana snorted, “Who’s ma’am? I’m D.Va, silly!”

You felt a little blush form on your face as she laughed her bubbly laugh.

“R-Right, D.Va…” you muttered.

“Let’s mooove out!” she cheered excitedly, taking off with her boosters.

Somehow you were able to keep up, steadily healing her as she disrupted the snipers, disarming them and booping them out of their nests. It was really hard at times; sometimes her meka’s health would go dangerously low even as you healed her all you could. But luckily, her meka never got wrecked…well until she wrecked it herself.

“Snipers eliminated!” she reported happily into her comm link, then looked back to you, “Watch this, [Name]!”

With that, she boosted her meka into the air, ejecting at the last second and sending it into self-destruct mode. It turned into a big ball of light, soaring through the air and eventually landing in the enemy base with a KABOOM! You watched awe-struck as the whole sky lit up and the base flew into a thousand pieces.

“Woohoo! Bonus points!” Hana cheered.

“That was amazing…” you breathed.

“Yeah, I guess it was,” she shrugged, “But I couldn’t have done it without you, [Name]. Your healing was what really kept me going!”

You blushed again, staring down at your shoes bashfully, “I mean, I wasn’t that great. Nothing different from what I usually do…”

“Hey!” she grinned, taking you by the hand and leading you back to your own base, “Do you wanna hang out sometime?”

“H…Hang out?” you couldn’t believe someone as famous and strong as D.Va was asking you to “hang out!”

“Uh-huh, you know that thing that people do when they wanna spend more time with each other?” she chuckled at you.

Your expression slowly dropped, remembering your place.

“But…you’re a tank unit, and I’m a support unit…” you mumbled.

“Yeah? Why is that important?” she shrugged.

“Because I’m just a support unit,” you admitted, “Don’t you want to hang out with someone cooler like another tank or attack unit?”

“Nope!” she smiled, “I wanna hang out with you, [Name]! Units don’t matter! They’re just dumb, stuffy titles,”

With that she slung an arm over your shoulder and pulled you close, making you stiffen up. You were so close to her! She smelled like bubblegum and new car…

“So what do you want to do? We could play video games or go to the arcade or go shopping–ooh! Do you like ice cream? I know this great place that gives me free…”

She’d be talking all the way back to base.


“Oi! I need healin’!” “Where’s my heals?” “Oi! Healer, over here!”

Why did you have to fall for a guy who treated supports like servants? Why did he only ever call you “Healer” or “Doc?” He was so tall and lanky, yet muscle-y at the same time, with a cute laugh and an outgoing attitude. Junkrat was everything you looked for in a guy, despite your friends saying you were crazy for it.

But you never once made a move. It always seemed like an arsonist would never have any time for a support unit, especially when he seemed to think they were so unimportant to the team. A lot of the other support units would get bad at him for his rude tone around him. They’d punish him with a smack on the head or a “no heal” policy for at least one battle. Some supports had given up on healing him altogether–he was the one who’d accidentally drop grenades on himself, after all.

But you just couldn’t keep yourself from healing him. It meant you got to admire him up close…even if you never said anything to him. Sometimes he’d even give you a little “Thanks, mate!” But as far as you were concerned, Jamison would never like a support unit. It wasn’t until the end of one of your missions that you were proven wrong.

“Hooly dooly, that was some fight!” Junkrat marveled at the wreckage as his hair smoked.

“No kidding,” you huffed as you tried to catch your breath, “I thought for sure we were gonna lose the point,”

“Same! We were the only ones on it!” he laughed, “I kept waitin’ for them to punt me off, but you kept me goin’!”

“Oh, yeah whatever,” you shrugged as you flopped down on the ground exhausted, “Well you did all the hard work,”

“Me? You were the one dodgin’ all those bullets and givin’ me all them buffs!” he pointed out as he sat down next to you, “I wouldn’t’ve been able to hold the point if it weren’t for you!”

A small blush crept its way onto your face, but you quickly shook your head and waved your hand dismissively.

“No, I wouldn’t have survived it if it weren’t for you blowing up anyone who came close to me.”

Seriously. Any flanker who’d try to sneak up on you would get a “Not my healer, you bitch!” from Junkrat.

“Well at least we can admit we work well together, eh?” he chuckled.

“Sure…” you mumbled bashfully, “Why not?”

“Eh c’mon, why ya hidin’ yer face now?” he smirked as he took your chin and gently guided it toward him.

“I-I’m not!” you squeaked in shock.

You hadn’t expected him to do that! His fingers felt all sooty and calloused…

“Yeah you are!” he sang.

“Sh-shut up…” you pouted, pulling away.

“Oi, why can’t ya just accept the complement?” he whined.

You crossed your arms, “Because I know you don’t mean it. You don’t care about support units in the slightest, Jamison,”

“The hell I do!” he retorted, “Well, only the good ones, that is,”

You gave him a glare and he put up his hands in defense, “I get it, I get it, you support-y types don’t like me. But you’re one of the only good ones on the team! You actually heal me and stick by me unlike all the other pricks who up and leave me for being ‘rude.’”

“But you, [Name], you’re a healer I can lean on!” he grinned, “ya’ve never let me down! That’s what I like about you!”

That’s what he…liked about you? Your face went red as you processed his words, looking like you had seen a giant spider.

“So…you don’t hate support units?” you asked.

“Hate ‘em? Nah!” he cackled, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you close to him, “Just drongos who don’t give me the time of day!”

Slowly, a smile appeared on your lips as you melted into him, letting him hold you closer. Jamison was a prickly guy and hard to get close to, and you always thought you’d never get very far with him, but all that time you had spent around him had been one big step towards knowing the real him.

–Mod Sirana

anonymous asked:

imagine if the squip became a human au. idk I think that'd be kinda cute.

Oh my gosh, let’s.

Jeremy introduces him to everyone as “Reeves” (he was gonna go with Keanu at first, but he thought that’d be too suspicious.) and calls him his “second cousin”, because how else do you explain a random guy that nobody’s ever seen before popping up out of nowhere and staying at your house?

When Michael finds out it’s the SQUIP, he dumps a whole liter of Mtn Dew Red on him. Which does nothing but make the SQUIP hate him more. They then spend most of the day glaring at each other when Jeremy’s not looking.

He pretty much survives on Mtn Dew, but being just “born”, it’s not like he has any money. So needless to say, Jeremy’s dad now believes he has a Mtn Dew addiction.

Eventually Jeremy tells him he’s gonna have to get a job. He suggests working retail at the mall, since telling people how to dress is one of his specialties.

The SQUIP, despite being human, still has the same basic programming and has to now get used to the fact that he can’t make decisions for Jeremy anymore, which takes some time. The first few days are especially hectic; while Jeremy’s at school, the SQUIP takes the liberty of replacing his entire wardrobe, updating his social media, changing all the music he listens to, and ALMOST throwing out all his video games (thankfully, Jeremy arrives home just in time to put a stop to that.)

It also takes him awhile to learn how to use electronics normally (Jeremy jokes all the time about the irony of the fact that a computer can’t use a computer.)

It’s not all problems, though! The SQUIP is great at keeping house, he likes to keep things presentable in case any guests should stop by (he’s all about making a good impression.) He’s also ideal for helping with homework. And he almost always gets a discount at Starbucks.

Michael takes a looong time to warm up to the SQUIP, for obvious reasons. They butt heads a lot because they both think Jeremy’s life is better off without the other, and they both have their own ideas of how to protect him. Jeremy has to be the buffer whenever they’re in the same place at the same time, poor guy. They do eventually learn to live with each other, though, once they realize that neither of them is going away anytime soon.

Also, the SQUIP still can’t touch alcohol. He’s not exactly sure whether or not it’d still affect him in the same way, but he’s not taking any chances.

He also watches way too much MTV.

Thunderstorm - Kol Mikaelson.

Based on: Hello Lovely! I was wondering if you could do a Kol Mikaelson one shot (lol because Nate is a freakin adorable and Kol is just a badass character) about being best friends and admitting you love him while he comforts you during a nasty thunderstorm? idk just something cute and fluffy (because we all know Kol isnt all bad lol)            
Author: mxltifandom-imagines

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hi! Headcanon of jealous Clay? Thanks!

1. Clay hated feeling jealous but he couldn’t help himself. Tony was the perfect guy; kindhearted, funny, smart, and cute. No matter how many times Tony explained that nobody would ever compare to him, Clay often had his doubts.

2. Even before becoming a couple, he couldn’t stand seeing him with Brad. He was handsome, tall, and seemed to have a lot more in common with Tony than he did. Anytime he saw them together, he would flee the scene before they could potentially notice him.

3. Clay has never been a big biter, he prefers nibbling on Tony’s earlobe and collarbone. He doesn’t leave marks, that is until after one night where someone was eying Tony up at the club they were at. Clay, fueled with annoyance and jealousy, sucked a hickey right in the middle of Tony’s neck once they got back to his house.

4. Clay, feeling defeated since he wasn’t nearly as strong as Tony, starts to go to the gym. He argues that he’s been planning to start working out for quite sometime, but Tony knows the truth. It also gives Tony the chance to see Clay sweaty and flushed, which is definitely a plus.

5. Neither Clay or Tony like to be ‘possessive’ over one another, but they have boundaries. If someone seems to be getting a bit too cozy around Tony, Clay will glare at them. And if he happens to kiss Tony for longer than probably necessary, there’s never any complaints made.

6. On Halloween one year, Clay dressed up as Tony to prove a point to the school that he was taken. He wore black skinny jeans, a white t-shirt, combat boots, and a leather jacket. Even though he didn’t win the costume contest, Clay grabbed Tony and kissed him in the middle of the gym, for once not caring about who saw.

There is nobody.

“Have you told him?” Molly asked, as she set the table around Sirius at 12 Grimauld Place. Sirius looked up at Molly.
“No.” He sighed, “I can’t seem to get the words out. Emmeline is getting more and more upset with me.” He said quietly. Molly looked at him sadly.
“Why didn’t anyone else tell him?” Sirius asked. “Then I wouldn’t have to think about it.”
“Sirius, nobody knows how to tell him.” She replied gently.
The front door slammed shut and Sirius looked at Molly, “Who is it?”
Molly shrugged, looking worried. “The others aren’t due back until later.” She whispered.
Emmeline burst into the room. “Tell me you told him.” She said looking directly at Sirius, pleading with him. She quickly realized by the look on his face that he hadn’t. “Sirius, it’s one thing to pretend you don’t even know me around him, but it’s not fair, he thinks the world of you, and he doesn’t know anything about you!”
“I don’t know how!” Sirius said shouting back at Emmeline. Molly had excused herself from the room and shut the door behind her. “I don’t want to think about her, I can’t because once she’s on my mind I can’t get her out.” He said standing now. “So don’t you dare stand there and tell me that I have to tell Harry anything, because we both know that I can’t do this, and I’m not going to. I’ve tried before and it didn’t go well, if you want to tell him please do, but I can’t.” He said,defeated. He sank to the table, resting his head in his hands.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be so forceful.” Emmeline muttered, sitting across from him.
“Em, you were always forceful.” Sirius said. “Not quite as stubborn as her though. She was so bloody stubborn.” He said quietly.
“She liked to say strong willed actually. I can’t tell him Sirius, he barely knows my name, Remus can’t tell him and you know it. You need to tell him.”
“I know that he should know, but I can’t help but think that I shouldn’t have to tell him, they should be here. I really tried to, when we sent Harry back to Hogwarts, had pictures with me and everything. Pulled him into a waiting room but as soon as I pulled out the Order photo, and saw her face I could barely get the words out. I just about managed to say her name, and that’s it.”
Emmeline looked up at Sirius, and saw the pain in his eyes, the lost look on his face that presented a broken man she was unfamiliar with. She saw a mere echo of the fun, happy man he was when they first met.
“Please Em, I know I need to but I just can’t.” His voice cracked and Emmeline saw a man who had lost everything in the world, except his godson.
“But what if he finds out from someone else Sirius?” Emmeline asked, exasperated.
“Like who? Emmeline tell me that. Who on this earth, that knows what really happened would tell him? There’s nobody left,” Sirius rose to his feet in front of Emmeline, “I would say a strong percentage of the people who even know are in this room! And if you, or Moony for that matter want to tell Harry what I lost, feel free, but I couldn’t explain it then, and I sure as hell can’t explain it now.”
Emmeline looked up at Sirius and saw a shadow of the man who came stumbling into an Order meeting he and Marlene were late for with blood and scratches covering him, and an empty hollow aura surrounding him since the dreadful evening.
The door to the kitchen opened and Remus sheepishly walked in. “Molly said you were in here. What’s going on?”
The pair paused, looking at each other.
“I think Sirius should tell Harry about everything.” Emmeline croaked.
“Everything?” Remus asked. “And by everything you mean? Everything?”
Emmeline nodded.
“Merlin get me a drink.” Remus muttered sinking into a seat at the table.
“Where did that idea come from?”
“Oh let me think, not the fact Harry doesn’t know about a huge part of our lives, and an even bigger part of his life! Or maybe, if he walked in this room right now he would be surprised I was here, and his thoughts would go something like ‘what was her name again? I wonder why she’s here?’, and that sure as hell hurts! Or maybe just maybe the fact if anything happened to any of us, or god forbid all of us, nobody would be left to tell him.” She shouted. “He doesn’t even know that I was one of their best friends Sirius, he doesn’t know I even knew them.” She whispered pleading now. “You need to.”
And once again the door creaked open and a thin, confused looking Harry stood in the doorframe, searching his Godfather’s face for answers that would never be spoken. “Tell me what?”
Nobody answered his question then, or in the years to come though he tried to ask, but the exhaustion on his godfathers face, and the sorrow in his uncle Moony’s eyes, and the desperation of that lady Emmeline left him speechless.
In fact nobody ever explained to Harry what his parents friends couldn’t bring themselves to relive.
Nobody was left to explain who all those people in the pictures Harry found in Sirius’ room in Grimuld place after the war.
Nobody was left to explain that Sirius had once loved and lost much more than anyone could imagine.
Nobody was left to explain who Marlene Mckinnon was.
Nobody was left to help figure out who Sydney Black was.
Nobody was left to fill in the gaps.

But after some time and help from Hermione, Mrs Weasley, McGonagall, Flitwick,
Mrs Longbottom and anyone else he could find he could piece together the basic facts.
Harry had been shocked to find out that Sirius had a daughter, Sydney, with Marlene Mckinnon. And they were both murdered by death eaters in front of him in 1981, when Sydney was only a few moths old. She had been slightly older than Harry and apparently Sirius had never been as happy as when his little girl was born.
And even more shocked to find that Remus had been in love before Tonks, very deeply madly in love with a 'pretty little thing’ as she had been called by Mrs Weasley, 'A real cute, innocent little thing.’ But he felt broken when he heard that Remus been late meeting her for a drink and she was killed in a bar by death eaters waiting for him, he never quite forgave himself.
Appalled to find out that Emmeline Vance, who had helped to protect him all those times and he had merely thought her nice, but quiet had in fact been one of his mothers bridesmaids, one of her closest friends and in fact had looked after him many a time when he was little. It hurt Harry to hear what a wonderful woman she had been, and how she had helped his parents both before they died and afterwards, and how he hadn’t even known her when she was alive and she had been once of the best chances for learning about his mother. And he cried when he found out she had been personally killed by Voldemort while he was still in Hogwarts and he hadn’t even noticed who she was at the time, he cried for his own ignorance and he cried for the brave woman who fought so hard for him, without him even knowing. But when McGonagall told him many years later that Emmeline had actually called for help the night she died, but nobody was left to help her all too busy elsewhere, and had knew he was coming in the short few minutes before she died. So she had tried to send Harry a note telling him she really was sorry she never told him who she was, and that she knew he could do it, and if she was about to pay the price for protecting him and his friends so be it, because if someone had done that for her she wouldn’t be the last one left.
And Harry cried for Sydney whose smile was enchanting in the few pictures of her that Sirius hasn’t burnt and he cried for the pictures of them together, fighting and playing oblivious to the chaos about to enter their world and tear them apart forever. Little Sydney with Sirius’ eyes but an attitude that could only be Marlene’s as she stood only 2 years old with her hands on her hips and her eyebrows raised.
Harry sobbed for Dorcas Meadows who did nothing wrong but love somebody. And Emmeline who lived her whole life protecting him without him even knowing it, his guardian angel.
And Harry was left in desperation, at the sorrow his friends had suffered through but nobody was left to remind Harry about the good times they had too because the only people who truly knew that even through the bad times they had all gotten on like a house on fire, and had laughed at each other and had fought for their friends in a reckless protection.

tried to be different and talk about my feelings yesterday and my mom rolls her eyes and gets an attitude and says “you need to change the way you talk and think if you ever want to get better.” like ok what was I trying to do? & then today she got mad at me and I asked what I did wrong and she ignored me so I asked again and she goes “you can’t even cope with your own problems let alone mine.” that was a low fucking blow. period. love how my mom acts so supportive and caring while I’m in the hospital to make me look stupid to the staff and doctors but as soon as we get home she says shitty things and makes subtle sly comments and is sooooo passive aggressive. and like it triggers me and that’s the shit I try to explain to people but nobody ever understands especially because my mom is so deceiving she convinces social workers and therapists she’s so supportive and shit but she’s really not.

Cost of Freedom (21/52)

Summary: In which everyone is in Tokyo, and Heiji joins the investigation to find the very people he’s helped break out. Prison!AU.

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Tokyo - 4.01 pm

“I still don’t think that this is a good idea.”

Kaito doesn’t respond to the nervousness this time, grabs hold of Shinichi’s words and throws them out into the wind. 

Nothing they’re going to do, really, is going to be a good idea - breaking out of prison and causing panic across the police force was technically a bad idea, but they’ve done it. Catching the train into Tokyo wasn’t the smartest idea either, but well, they’ve been walking around Chiyoda for over an hour now, weaving in and out of crowds.

He’s not even sure what Shinichi’s worried about. Either he’s uneasy by the crowds that swamp them, drowning them in a sea of pedestrians, or he’s unsettled by the fact that they’ve slowly started to wander in the direction of the police station they’re planning to break into.

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I have a lot of feelings about Matt Boyd. He’s with the weakest and most ridiculed Class I team but loves them like family. He feared is future girlfriend and was scared shitless even when asking her out. He’s the tallest on the team but worst enemy on the team is five feet tall. Nobody will stop fighting around him. His five foot enemy tricked him into drug relapse for said enemy’s brother’s sake. His best friend got kidnapped and nearly died. His best friend ends up dating his five foot enemy. Nothing ever goes right for an entire year. Nobody ever explains things so he probably loses a lot of bets. He keeps getting punched. All he wants is to play exy and for everyone to get along but suddenly there’s the mafia and the FBI and murders. Someone help Matt Boyd.

Questions I have about Autistic Jack Zimmermann:

  • Was he ever assessed or diagnosed?  Did someone spot that this wee babby was touched in the head?  Did anyone catch it, think it was significant, care?  I mean, there’s good odds he was, but what if he wasn’t? 
  • If he was assessed or diagnosed, do Bob and Alicia know? (You’d think, “they’re his parents, of course they know” but I know many people whose parents weren’t told.)  If they were told, do they think it’s a valid diagnosis?  Did they reject it as criticism of Their Perfect Baby? Do they champion “He’s not disabled, he’s just unique”?
  • Did anyone ever tell Jack? Did anyone ever tell him why he was so weird, why he had problems making friends, why he had screaming meltdowns when his hockey bag wasn’t packed just so, why he couldn’t eat half the foods everyone else did, why everyone got bored of listening to him talk before he got bored of talking, why the world was too loud and too bright and nobody else seemed to notice?  Did anyone ever explain that to him and help him with it?  Did anyone ever tell him that he wasn’t broken, he was just Autistic?
  • Or did they keep it a secret from him? Did they “not want to stigmatize him”?  Did they “not want him to feel ‘less than’ the other children”?  Did they just leave him to conclude that he was broken, and not the kind of person who would have friends or be lovable the normal way, but at least he could play hockey?
  • When did he first encounter Autism in somebody else when he knew what it was?   Did he sit down with an Autistic classmate at Samwell to work on a group project to have her say, “It’s so noisy and overwhelming in here, can we move somewhere quieter?” and while they walked across the Quad she apologized, “I’m just really sensitive to environment, it’s an Autism thing,” and he said, “No, that makes perfect sense. I don’t know how anybody could think in there.”? Did he meet a child, a seven-year-old who wouldn’t look him in the eyes but could recite all his statistics, hands flapping like leaves in the breeze, and exclaim how impressed he was because her hockey card collection was bigger than his?  Did he sit down in a classroom for a community outreach event while someone explained how the school was designed to teach children how to self-regulate through sensory activities, pick a Tangle toy out of the basket of fidget toys on the desk, play with it the entire time without noticing and almost accidentally walk out with it after? 
  • Does he figure it out when he has an Autistic child, when the pediatrician explains Autism to him and he says, “Wait, but–I was exactly like that when I was a kid.”?  Does he hum back, that wild high distressed noise he’s forgotten he used to make, the noise their kid makes that drives Bitty a little nuts, hums and adjusts the pitch and rocks back and forth on his toes until he and his kid are doing it at the same frequency, in the same rhythm, and then his child is calm again?  When he tells Bob and Alicia, do they say, “Yes, the doctors thought you had the same thing when you were a child”?
  • Does he start to understand himself as an Autistic adult, let his hands start to flap at his sides again when he’s feeling anxious, accept that his weirdnesses aren’t flaws? Does he take deliberate joy in the ritual of taping his stick before a game, does he let himself go grocery shopping for both the super-organic-ultra-natural peanut butter Bitty likes, and also the exact same brand of cheap, processed peanut butter he liked as a child?  Does he get Autistic friends, people he can sit around a table with not making eye contact but definitely making sly, deadpan jokes?  Does he meet fans who say, whose parents say, they’re autistic, and tell them, “Me too?”  
  • Does he understand himself as an Autistic man who gets a life of his own, a house he takes care of, a job that he loves, an Allistic husband who loves him like mad, and a bright future that shows no signs of dimming?
  • Does he find a way to tell the rest of the world that’s what he is, too?
Crying Soulmate!AU - Michael 5SOS Imagine/Preference

When you were younger, your parents explained that you had to be very careful not to hurt yourself. You didn’t quite understand why, until you turned five. Your first day riding your new bike was pretty exciting, until your parents started to bundle you in knee pads, elbow pads, long sleeve shirts, thick jeans, and every protective item ever made. It was then that your parents thoroughly explained why they were being so careful. Whenever you bled, your soulmate would cry, so if you bled for two hours, your soulmate would cry for two hours. There were some cases where the rules changed a bit, but for the most part, if you hurt yourself and bled, your soulmate would cry. You remembered the time you accidentally ran into your friend at school and made her cry, and from then on, you swore not to make anyone cry ever again.

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okay, but: yuri on ice soulmates au, the kind where you have their first words on your body somewhere. 

the banquet happens as in canon, but viktor is EVEN MORE lovestruck, because this adorably drunk japanese studmuffin is his soulmate. he has always wondered about the future of his career, knowing that his soulmate would ask him to coach them, but he is unprepared for just how much he wants to throw himself headlong into doing everything he can for this cutie.

only yuuri, blackout drunk as he was, not only doesn’t remember, but also runs away from him the next day.

viktor is pretty crushed about this, thinking that his soulmate doesn’t want him, and nearly quits skating himself. until the stay close to me video. that, to viktor, reads as “i’m sorry for running away, but i’m ready now.” obviously, he immediately rushes off to hasetsu. and hey- yuuri wanted him to coach him, so viktor can kill two birds with one stone!! brilliant!!!

meanwhile, yuuri goes through the exact same freakout as in canon, but with the added stress of trying not to fall for viktor because he’s not his soulmate, damn it! viktor is crushed to find his efforts rebuffed, but tries to give yuuri whatever space he needs- after all, yuuri is the one who reached out and called him to japan. so maybe this is just him being scared of rushing into things- fine, viktor can respect that. they can totally just take things slowly. they don’t have to act like soulmates yet- they can just be boyfriends! 

and sure enough, they grow together over time. china happens, and their relationship takes a huge leap forward. (viktor doesn’t even THINK about threatening to leave yuuri, let alone actually do it, but they still have a much-needed talk in that parking lot.) they make it to barcelona, where they independently buy each other rings. viktor is thrilled beyond belief- finally, he can show his love for yuuri to the world!

(yuuri protests to himself -even harder than in canon- that they’re just good luck charms. so what if he’s been looking up stories of soulmates that didn’t work out. and of purely platonic soulmates. and non-soulmate couples. and every conceivable type of non-traditional relationsh- OKAY, HE’LL ADMIT IT, HE’S GOT IT BAD.)

finally, we get to that scene in the restaurant, where viktor just about has an aneurism. because holy. fucking. shit. HIS SOULMATE HAD NO IDEA THAT THEY HAD ALREADY EXCHANGED WORDS. all of his efforts at being coy, at respecting yuuri’s not wanting to talk about their relationship; it’s all completely backfired. all he’s done is hurt yuuri all this time. he’s the worst soulmate ever, god, how can he ever look yuuri in the face again?!? 

meanwhile, yuuri.exe has crashed. he could have had this AGES ago. EVERYBODY IN THE ENTIRE SKATING COMMUNITY KNEW EXCEPT HIM. why did nobody ever mention- oh god, this explained so many weird comments! chris even has pictures of them posing with their words! (he is a dead man.)

yuuri goes on to win the gold at the grand prix, and he and viktor get married in the most disgustingly adorable ceremony the world has ever seen. the triplets gleefully inform the internet of the whole convoluted story. everyone lives happily ever after. 

The line of march

Defend Russia and Syria. Fight fascist Trump. Oppose CIA coup and Democrats’ anti-Russia witch hunt. Organize working people for self defense and revolution. Patiently explain.

Nobody ever said being a communist would be easy. But it’s essential that we be clear and stand strong in the midst of mass confusion and ruling class misdirection, even if we must stand alone for a little while.