nobody care about me

anonymous asked:

what did it feel like to fall in love with your fiancé and propose to her? I'm in a long distance relationship and it hurts extra badly tonight, l just want him in my arms

falling in love with her was the easiest thing i ever experienced. i had just come out of a long, abusive relationship that kinda fucked me up and my view on relationships and i met this wonderful, soft, beautiful girl and she cared about me so much. she treated me like nobody else did before and it began to heal something that i didn’t really realise was broken for years. i can’t really remember when i fell in love with her because it went so fast and smooth. one day about a week after we met i caught myself walking down a street in shoreditch thinking about what it would be like to live with her and then what it would be like if she were my girlfriend. the thought was scary because relationships were scary and i wasn’t ready for that. all i cared about was being close to her, having her in my life in some way. so a few days later i found a place and we were grocery shopping and i asked her to move in with me while she was talking about pickles.
we lived together for months as best friends and i kept falling in love with her and when i realised that that was what was happening it wasn’t that scary anymore. i still wasn’t ready for a new relationship, i had to unlearn that relationship = abuse idea that had manifested in my head. but when i was ready for it she was there and she caught me.
falling in love with emily felt like something that had to happen. just like this is the way it’s supposed to be. inevitable.

proposing to her was the scariest and coolest thing i’ve ever done. i knew she’d say yes because we talked about it so many times and just like falling in love, spending the rest of our lives together is simply inevitable.
it was still terrifying. asking her sister to help me, freezing my ass off bc new years in canada, kneeling in the snow and crying because she said yes and actually agreed to have me. all the things i’m never gonna forget and that made me feel on top of the world. also the terror the next morning about facing her parents because i had never asked them if i could marry their daughter. that was probably the scariest part.

being so far away from her constantly has been a real test, it sucked major balls but in the end i feel like it can be proof to us that we can handle pretty much everything life throws at us. there is two real tests for young couples: living far apart and living together. we’ve already mastered both so what could go wrong?

this got really long. sorry if you wanted a short answer

3

ok BUT consider: au where yuuri and victor are 2 doctors and yurio has been their patient since he was a baby (well yuuri’s patient but the two are a package deal soo lmao) so they basically watch him grow up and act like his two dads and i know doctors usually wear white coats but drawing them in scrubs is much more fun

  • Me: I just want to smile.
  • Demons: CRY! CRY! CRY!
  • Me: I just want to be happy.
  • Demons: YOU'RE DEPRESSED! YOU'RE DEPRESSED! YOU'RE DEPRESSED!
  • Me: I want to breathe.
  • Demons: ANXIETY! ANXIETY! ANXIETY!
  • Me: I want to be loved.
  • Demons: BUT YOU HATE EVERYONE! YOU HATE EVERYONE!
  • Me: I don't want to give up.
  • Demons: DIE! DIE! DIE!
  • Me: They care about me.
  • Demons: NOBODY CARES! NOBODY CARES! NOBODY CARES!
  • Me: I want to go out with friends.
  • Demons: YOU WANT TO STAY IN BED! YOU WANT TO STAY IN BED!
  • Me: I can do this.
  • Demons: NO YOU CAN'T!!!!!