I mentioned to my mom about signing the boy up for the Big Brother program, I think it would be good for him having another male role model. He gets super attached to any guy I bring around, even if the boy doesn’t know we are dating. Like Manny, he thought we were only friends. So she tells me today that if I sign him up it’s basically telling my dad he’s not a good enough role model and I’d rather have a stranger around instead of him and it will hurt his feelings. No matter how I’d respond to that I’m fucked. Yes my dad is around and a role model to look up to, but d-bag isn’t around and the boy can’t have enough men to look up to. Not to sound like a bitch, but it’s not about my dad, it’s about what I think is best for my son.
seeing as every day is the same and it’s sucking the life out of me I’m not going to be sad anymore about not being able to wake up until the evening. yeah it’s annoying but I can’t do anything about it because I’m unwell and I still manage to get all of my work done and pass my exams and I work hard in the time that I’ve got and I can’t rewind time or get my tuition fees reimbursed so I’ll just keep doing my best with the cards I’ve been dealt because realistically that is all I can possibly humanly do
I miss something of you, but I don’t miss you as a whole. I struggle to find words that aren’t about loss and grief. I struggle to know how to work with our new connection, strangers who know too much about each other. It is still hard to know you are sad or angry, and there’s nothing I can do about it. I’ve sacrificed myself too long or you.
I like you, but this is far from love. I like curling in your warmth and finding a new space to create among your giant limbs, but I am aware that you are clearly of a younger age. You too have been a caregiver and those years have made you build a fortress around your heart.
I spend my waking hours negotiating my feelings.
I struggle to know how to act when in one moment I want to cry and in the next I want to laugh.
I am learning that too much time alone causes loneliness and too much time with others causes a sense of isolation.
I am finding that I want to retreat into myself while also be open to the unknown.
I am realizing how much I have changed as a person, how much I have grown up. How different I am from who I was.
I can’t post anything sims related today bc I have like 482938293 things to do, but I feel like posting so have a pic of me that I took while “studying”, and a random pic of some polaroids that are on my desk that I uploaded so my ugly face doesn’t take half of your screen
From what I’ve seen so far, most of tumblr has chosen the same face for sisRyder, and even the same hair cut (the longish bob) in a neon or white-ish color. (Also including giving them almost white colored eyes.) This makes me unhappy about the presets we’re given. Or maybe its bc the tumblr populace has a type? idek. I’m disappointed in both options.
Illustrations for my senior project Dreamfruit, in which I created a visual language on queer South Asian diasporic identities, stories, rituals, and experiences through clothing. This project was explored the queer brown body as a site of subversion, resistance, magic, and transformation. I presented Dreamfruit as a queer fashion show in which qtpoc models performed the shirts in front of the projections of these illustrations. These images were drawn from interviews I conducted over several months with various young lgbtq South Asian folks in the US.