“Do you ever feel… I don’t know… Insecure?”
I don’t know why I decided to ask that question. Me and Steve have been sitting on the hood of his car talking the night away for what felt like hours. We’d go on and on about anything and everything, but somehow I think I just ruined this great night with a dumb question.
I look to my right to see Steve laying down on his back with his arms behind his head, staring up at the night sky. He seemed deep in thought, his brows were furrowed and he looked like he was having a debate in his head on how he should respond to my stupid question.
“Uh n-nevermind… Forget I said anything.” I stuttered. I felt my cheeks heat up in embarrassment and I began to play with the ends of my sleeves on my shirt.
“Well… Yeah.” He replied quietly.
I looked at him is surprise, I didn’t understand how he could feel insecure. To me he was perfect, I know that’s not how you’re supposed to feel towards your best friend but I couldn’t help it.
“Really?” I asked.
“Yeah. Especially when I’m workin’ at the DX with Soda and all the girls are constantly flockin’ round him…” He trailed off. “I ain’t got the good looks like Soda anyhow.”
I stayed silent, I didn’t like that he felt like that, hell I hated that he feels this way. I love Steve, I want him to be happy all the time. He deserves all the happiness in the world. Thing I hated most is that I love him more than he’ll ever love me.
“How bout you?” He asked. “You ever feel… insecure?”
I felt his eyes burning holes in the side of my skull, I stole quick glance at him and realized he had his head propped up on his left arm so he could look at me properly.
“Yes.” I whispered.
“Why?” He asked skeptically.
I simply shrugged, “I don’t know… I don’t really like the way I am if I’m being honest with you and myself.”
He was now fully sat up cross-legged, facing me, giving me his full attention. “What do you mean, Y/N?”
I sighed deeply, “I’m starting to really fucking hate myself, you know?”
Before he could even reply I continued. “ I don’t like the way I look, I don’t like the way I act, I don’t like the way I am… I don’t like myself. I hate myself.”
“Shut up.” Steve said.
I looked at him with wide eyes his response came off almost… angry.
“Just shut up.” He repeated. “I don’t like this.”
“Don’t like what?” I asked timidly.
“I don’t like it when you talk about yourself like this. You’re an amazing person. You’re smart, you’re funny…” Steve trailed off.
He looked down at his lap and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “You’re beautiful, Y/N.” He whispered.
My heart swelled at his words and I felt my eyes well up with tears. I got that warm fluttery feeling in my stomach, the one I usually get whenever Steve would throw his arm around me in a friendly manner or compliment me.
“Y/N, are you crying?” Steve asked softly.
I giggled, “Yeah…” I wiped a tear that fell down my cheek and sniffled.
“Why? Y/N please don’t cry.” Steve said and scooted closer to me so he could wrap me up in a tight embrace.
“I’m not crying because I’m sad, I’m just really happy. You made me feel better, that’s all.” I snuggled deeper into his chest, trying to savor the moment.
“Well good.” He said.
I don’t know where the sudden confidence came from, but I finally let the truth come out. The truth I’ve been hiding ever since I first met him when we were twelve.
“S-Steve… I gotta tell ya somethin’ but you promise you won’t get mad?”
“What is it?”
“I love you.”
“I know, I love ya too.” He replied casually.
I got a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, of course he’d never love me that way. But there was no going back now.
“Steve… I don’t think you know… I’m in love with you.”
He chuckled. “Like I said, yeah I know. I’m in love with you too, doll.”
I apologize to who ever took their time out of the day to read this piece of shit ;-; also sorry for any grammar, punctuation, or spelling errors this was written on my phone at 4 o'clock in the morning