no-man's-job

Black Excellence

One thing I’ve noticed with 95% of the posts of “black excellence” it’s literally..

Report: “Man does his job”

Black tumblr: “whoo black excellence! That why we’re better that whitey!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾”

Or

Report: “Girl graduates high school”

Black tumblr: “whoo black excellence! That why we’re better that whitey!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾”


Maybe we should start a white excellence for when white people do the things they’re supposed to do…

I get sometimes people go above and beyond and that’s awesome! But for once! Let’s try and look past the colour of their skin?

sbomb16  asked:

Now, I don't mean to sound harsh, but I kinda hate Justin, like, A LOT. He is not nice, and I have a feeling once Tidbit runs out of money, which I'm sure he already has, Justin will look elsewhere for money, which will probably be Austin's bank account. :( (P.S.: Can I just say that I love seeing Austin in his business attire? So handsome! Pink is definitely his color.)

Justin is MEAN BIRD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wanted Justin to be an evil twin of Austin! Austin is the nice man with a job who plays everything way too safe, and his animal counter-part is a guy who takes a more dangerous route to get what he wants!

They probably have a lot of things in common too, like what kind of boys and girls they think are attractive, and what clothes and movies they like. But they way they live their life is totally opposite.

dustymorning  asked:

Stimmt, als Künstlerin hab' ich hin und wieder diese "Bring ich es später damit mal zu etwas?"-Gedanken. Es macht mir riesen Spaß, aber ich habe Angst, dass ich später man in irgendeinem Job lande, der mich 0 erfüllt und mir nur die Kreativität und Energie aussaugt.

ich denke wenn man seine zeit und seinen fokus auf kunst und die entwicklung in eine bessere auslebung legt, wird es funktionieren eine passende oder kompromissarme lösung für die finanzierung zu finden. leicht ist es auf keinen fall, aber sonst wäre es doch langweilig ;D

Headlines read: POKÉMON GO AWAY; POLICE ISSUE WARNING NOT TO POKÉMON AND DRIVE;  MAN QUITS JOB TO CATCH POKÉMON FOR TWO MONTHS

My mother sees this and shakes her head. My friends squabble about it. Internet comments read: you all need to get a life, aren’t you too old to play children’s games, wish millennials would hunt jobs instead of imaginary animals, I’m so ashamed of this generation

I’m so in awe of this generation and everything it has to carry. I am stunned by the way we persevere, by the way we find comfort and peace in such small packages. MAN QUITS JOB TO CATCH POKÉMON. Man indulges in nostalgia. Man leaves home, travels. Man pursues happiness, finds it in strange places.

Pokémon: Indigo League aired in 1999 on Kids’ WB. Picture: an alarm set, two pairs of tired eyes, TV trays and cereal, volume low because mom’s sleeping off her night shift at the bar, theme song lyrics printed out and sitting on the floor. I was eight. I never recall my father in these memories. He’d either already left or I’ve blocked out his face the same way my mom used family photos to cover up fist-sized holes in the walls.

Pokémon Silver and Gold were released in the US in 2001. Picture: anthrax, terror alerts, news footage looping, smoke and screaming, teachers crying in classrooms, the way fear can permeate an entire country and my small body the same way without ever having to name a reason out loud. I was ten. I was scared all the time, but I was also spending my weekends running around outside with my brother and the neighbor boy, throwing imaginary Poké Balls at squirrels.

It’s not that I didn’t know what was going on. It’s just that sometimes when things are loud or angry or hard, especially when you’re young, the best thing you can do is keep your head down.

2016: terrorism, police brutality, student loan debts, depression, anxiety, Brexit, the US political landscape. Pokémon Go begins rolling out its release around the world and there are days, at twenty-five, that I still need to keep my head down. I know there is immense privilege in being able to put the rest of the world on hold for a while, to step back from the things that hurt us; but I also know this brief respite is important. Whether it’s turning off the news for a few days or reading a book or taking a vacation or augmented reality as self care. It is hard to live full time in a world that always looks like it’s on fire. It sits so heavy on the chest. It is easy to look out at all this trauma and forget to look back at yourself.

What I mean to say is, I might not quit my job to roam the country and catch Pokémon, but when it comes to pursuing my own happiness, no matter the means, “I wanna be the very best…”
—  LIKE NO ONE EVER WAS by Trista Mateer
OMG! Sophie is taking time to figure out her life and the kids keep calling her "just because".

Mommy, I could’ve been the grifter!
Mommy, Nate is being an ass, as always!
Mommy, Hardison is being a pump meenie!
Mommy, the bad guys caught me, help!

Sophie holds this team together. And I’m starting to see that Eliot is her favorite child because he gives her the less trouble.

This team 😍

Batgirl by Joss Whedon
  • An unnecessary close up of Barbara Gordon's chest: I can't win this fight even with my genius and extensive combat efficiency by my dainty redheaded self, I need something stronger...I need Dick.
  • Chris Evans with a bad wig as Dick Grayson: Babs, don't worry your pretty little head. I know you're fully capable of handling stuff on your own and have countless times been the first to figure out the villains plan, but I'm just going to fight this battle for you anyway as it's a mans job and you've about done all the sexually charged close-up shots you can do
  • Barbara Gordon with a gratuitous shot of her backside for no apparent reason: I knew it. Dick is always dependable.
  • Tim Drake- watching from a distance: *Points out the sexual innuendo despite it not being remotely in character or appropriate for the circumstances*
  • Joss Whedon: This is it. Feminism.

anonymous asked:

As inspiration form what happened to Mitch, can you write something about Nurse getting hit in the face with a puck

first of all, this is the funniest fucking prompt i’ve ever gotten, so thank you. also, he so would, oh my god, poor nursey

(for those of you unaware, this is the referenced hit.)

Nursey’s used to getting hit on the ice. He’s a d-man, it’s basically his job to take hits and dole them out.

Getting hit by a person and getting hit by a puck, though, are two very, very different things.

First of all, you tend to realize when you’ve been hit by a person–it’s pretty hard to miss. Hockey players are pretty big; when they slam into you, you notice. But at least they’re only usually moving twenty miles an hour, tops.

Pucks, on the other hand, can fly around eighty miles an hour.

That’s fast.

Keep reading

ted bundy: omg i would never??? i’m a good man with a decent job working in law! and psychology! how DARE you even INSINUATE i committed these awful crimes. i didn’t do ANYTHING. i’m a LAW-ABIDING CITIZEN. hell, i’ll plead not guilty right now

the fbi: okay first of all, that’s not how this works, you’re not even in court, ted, jesus christ, we’re just arresting you—

ted bundy: as a LAW STUDENT, did i mention that before?? hm?? i study LAW it is illegal to arrest an INNOCENT man

the fbi: now, we have a LOT of evidence against you, mr. bundy

ted bundy: i fuckedd up, okay? oh my god don,‘ty ou r,,ealize  thh..a  tsome   peuople???? murdre???? to c;;op;;e????? i’m so sorry i said i was so sor  ry do we reaally need,, t..o talk abou the   DATH PENALTY??? i’m so soryr   i k..il.led  those3  8 girls but lik;e??;;?? i couldn’t help it,?????, it asn’t my f  ault??? porn corrupte,,d meu andi ’m dj;ust?? ? trying to copee??

anonymous asked:

I still can't believe that happened....

Honestly, I really meant it when I said this:

I have no idea what in the shitting hell is going on. 

ESPECIALLY yesterday. WHY did all these professionals ascending onto Louis’ property look like a play put on by aliens about how to Human™? 

Like, “Here I am, I’m the doctor man! With my doctor tool!” 

“I am in my lawyer suit with my lawyer papers because I’m a very important lawyering man.”

“I"m the coffee man doing my coffee job, standing out of the way, for that pap on the lawn!”

“I’M THE MOTHERFUCKIN DOGGG TELLIN Y'ALL TO GET YA NASTY ASSES AWAY FROM MY BOIIIIII”

I don’t really have any answers except that all of this is

It is so over the top and extra…I just really don’t even know what to say. It is a fact that the paparazzi are called for 90% of the shots you will ever see. The airport pap was called, presumably I feel, to capture them in their Tweedle Dumb and Dumber jumpsuits, which is fine because it’s clear that they are both under some sort of arrangement with Vetements. The return of what’s her face isn’t that surprising given that she was pictured with Gigi for official Tommy Hilfiger promo months ago and Zayn and Louis are still both, as far as I know, under Syco, so it would make sense that they roped their beards in together, and that they would use them for mutual promotion with TH. Maximum exposure required Zayn and Louis’ participation clearly. Louis recently followed Tommy Hilfiger on Twitter so it’s just like breadcrumb trail of stuntness that is right in front of everyone.  

There is so much overwhelming evidence to support that this was all planned. I don’t know about the hoodrats jumping them at LAX being real or fake, but I imagine that the “scuffle with the paps” was intentional, thus giving way to Dan fuckin W’s article about Louis’ mental stability and then the comment from the Desperado of Calabasas about him “not being himself”…this seems like a terribly drawn out and horrible season finale that everyone’s just tuning into out of fuckin obligation to the years they’ve invested in the show. 

It’s just…sad. It’s really sad for people who have bothered to look beyond the headlines, which are fabricated by yellow journalists and shitty PR people to build a narrative that is not true, and who know that this is the last thing that someone like Louis Tomlinson deserves. He deserves exactly none of this shit.

Not to continuously bring it up, and I wish I didn’t have to, but what I wrote about this subject over a year ago now is more relevant than ever. And that’s extremely depressing. If you haven’t read these, then hopefully you will and they can shed some insight into what I believe is actually happening behind the scenes. 

Is Louis Tomlinson A Victim of A Character Assassination Campaign?

Why Is It So Hard For People To Believe That Louis Tomlinson Has Actually Had A Baby?

Is Louis Tomlinson’s Bizarre Behaviour Actually Just Him Mocking Simon Cowell?

When I realized who/what the paparazzi truly are: *2007* Britney is going through her, well, emotional issues. She’s trying to put her two sons in her car and just go home. She’s surrounded by paps, she’s visibly upset and trembling and the kids are screaming.  She knows the paps will follow her.

*someone on the video* “You are abusing these people. You know that?”

*paparazzi guy* “It’s a job, man.”

*Me, watching* “So get a better fucking job, then.”

You'll Miss Me When I Go

Part 1:

Keith didn’t understand why he had to go to these stupid group counselling sessions. His brother wasn’t dead he would be back.
Since Shiro had disappeared after the ship sank everyone had said he was dead.
But Keith knew better. He knew he was fine and would come home as soon as he could.
The doctors said he just wasn’t coping with the loss well, that he was still in the stage of denial.
The therapist suggested that a group session could help him move on.
Move on was all they wanted him to do?
To give up on someone that could be back any day.
———————————–

He looked through the glass to the room. There was already four people inside, all sitting on chairs in a circle.
Keith took a deep breath and walked in.
Immediately four faces turned to look at him, one who he recognised as Hunk from college smiled at him.
The girl next to him gave him a nod not really seeming happy to be there, looks like they were in the same position.
The other woman smiled as well nudging the man with an orange moustache, as if to remind him of his job.
The man jumped to his feet and enthusiastically shock his hand “ah you must be Keith, lovely to meet you. Take a seat and we can do introductions. I’ll start, im Coran I lead these group sessions and I lost my wife a few years ago.”
He sat back down gesturing for Keith to do the same.
Begrudgingly he took the empty seat next to Hunk who frowned but didn’t say anything.
Coran pointed at the woman next to him indicating she should go next.
“Hello I’m Allura. I lost my farther many years ago and I am here to assist Coran and all of you in anyway I can.”
“My names Hunk, I’m here because my grandpa passed away a few months ago.”
Keith looked at the girl on the other side of Hunk waiting for her to introduce herself. She just crossed her arms and glared.
“The names Pidge and my dad and brother are alive! And are coming back!” She yelled standing up.
“Pidge please sit down.” Coran spoke softly but firmly and the girl did as he asked grumbling under her breath.
Suddenly Keith recognised her.
Her brother and dad had been on the same ship Shiro had been, she had been there the day Keith had said goodbye and wished him luck on his artic voyage.
He never even considered someone else may be going through the same stuff he was…
“The names Keith and I lost my brother.” He decided to leave out the part that he would be back considering the reaction Pidge had received. He made a mental note to talk to her later.
Coran nodded a kind smile a constant on his face. “Well it’s lovely to meet you all… though I was told we would have one more…”
As if on cue the door was flung open and a way too happy looking guy came bouncing in the room.
“Sorry sorry I’m late.” He held up a box of donuts as some kind of peace offering. “But I come baring gifts.” He laughed setting the box down on a empty chair.
“Ah yes Lance I wondered when you would get here.” Coran shook his head but didn’t seem at all mad at this. In fact looking at the obnoxious guy Coran had an expression of fondness on his face. “Take a seat and let’s get on with it.”
Lance stared at Keith for a moment before pouting with his hands on his hips.
“Oi Mullet your in my seat.”
Keith looked at him for a moment. This guy couldn’t be so full of himself that he would demand a stranger to move when there were plenty of empty seat.
“No way I was here first.” Keith snapped crossing his arms.
“Coran” Lance whined looking over his shoulder at the older man.
“Just Sit here Lance there is plenty of room.” Allura answered before Coran got a chance to do so.
“If you wanted me so bad why didn’t you say so.” Lance winked taking the seat, but he still looked pretty annoyed. “So we were up to me right for intros?” He asked Coran nodding in confirmation.
“Right then, I’m Lance remember the name” he joked “and im here to grieve for myself.”

——————————————-part 2: https://langsty-mc-langstface.tumblr.com/post/160637029010/youll-miss-me-when-i-go
Talk | Yoongi (M)

Originally posted by yoonseok

honestly this was uncalled for. idk why i made this. there could be a part 2 or fuller version. if enough ppl want one. but this is lowkey shitty.

Genre: Smut
Warnings: phone sex operater!yoongi. dirty talk. fingering.
Length: 879


It started as a joke. Honestly.

You both just needed some money. And phone sex was a pretty easy way to get it. It could pay about $600 in one week.

You quickly discovered that this was a bad idea.

-

Yoongi was lounging on the bed after logging in. You were both watching a movie on TV. Well, not really watching it. It was just to pass the time while you both waited for calls. You didn’t know how you were going to handle his next call.

See, Yoongi was disgustingly good at phone sex.

And that’s why this was a bad idea.

Your undying attraction to the man plus this godforsaken job. It did not equal a fun time to you. Often, you’d leave with soaked panties and have to get off by yourself in your bed.

When Yoongi’s phone went off you nearly jumped out of your skin. He hit the mute button on the TV and picked it up.

“Hello beautiful.”

His first words already started a fire in your body. It wasn’t even anything dirty it was simply his voice. His voice was so deep, a rumble you could feel in your core. You could get wet just from hearing him talk. It was the true effect he had on you.

“It’s so good to hear from you again.” He said, crossing his free arm over his chest. “What’s that baby?”

He went quiet for a beat, listening to her talk. He smirked, biting his lip. Was he holding in a laugh?

“You’re touching yourself? What a naughty girl. Did I say you were allowed to touch yourself?” He chuckled. “No, I don’t think I did.”

You could hear her voice mumbling over the phone but couldn’t make out what she was saying.

“You can keep going sweetheart. I won’t punish you this time. But next time I will.” He reached up, running a hand through his hair. He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I’m touching myself right now. You’re so sexy when you’re worked up. You sound like you’re close already.”

You felt your panties get stickier. It was so sexy to hear him talk like that. Until he got this job, you never thought he’d have such a filthy mouth. You squeezed your thighs together, an action caught by Yoongi. He met your eyes and smirked.

“Yeah, put your fingers in your little cunt baby. Tell me how it feels.”

His hand was suddenly on your bare thigh, stroking the skin there. Your breath hitched in your throat. His hand gripped your thigh tight, forcing you to open your leg for him. Then, he cupped your heat through your shorts.

“Uh-huh baby, let me hear you make those noises. So sexy…” He whispered, his voice dropping even lower. “Tell me how you feel sweetheart.”

You whimpered softly as Yoongi’s fingers worked your clit through the fabric. The wet spot was soaking through, darkening your shorts. Yoongi chuckled, giving a light tap to your cunt to make you jump. His thumb hooked into the waistband of your shorts, tugging slightly. Because of the angle you were both in you had to slide them off yourself, taking your panties off with them.

Yoongi suddenly groaned at the sight of you bared for him. “Yeah baby, it feels so good. Only you can make me this hard.”

He patted his lap for you to get into, which you happily did. He leaned your back against his chest and immediately drew his hand to your heat. His fingers slid between your lips to find your clit. He gathered slickness that was leaking out of you to lubricate your nub so he could rub it in fast circles.

“So wet babygirl. Are you that wet for me?” He mumbled, adding a quiet kiss to your shoulder so the woman on the phone wouldn’t hear. You could hear her whimper something out as you nodded at him. He smirked. “Good girl.”

He slid his fingers into you, two at once. You clasped a hand over your mouth so you could let out a low cry. He groaned too. You could hear the girl whimpering on the phone to him. He was speeding up his fingers, circling your swollen clit with his thumb. Your hips jerked and your thighs trembled at the overwhelming feeling.

“You gonna cum?” He asked, watching as you nodded for him. The girl cried out a “yes” on the phone. You could feel how hard he was in his jeans, you were desperate for his cock at this point.

He sped up his fingers, curling them up to hit that spot inside you. Your whined increased behind your hand as you got closer. His thumb worked your clit faster. It was almost embarrassing how fast you were to cumming when he’s only just started.

“I know you’re there baby, cum for me.” Yoongi growled, his lips grazing your ear. “Give it to me.”

You squeezed your eyes shut tight and arched your back off of him as you came around his fingers. You could hear him mumbling praises in you ear. You were panting into your hand as you came down, gazing up at him.

He sighed softly.

“Now, would you like to extend your call?”


let me know if u guys want more of this one.

“I grew up in the suburbs. I used to think that I could write a prescription for a poor man: ‘Get a job, save your money, pull yourself up by the bootstraps.’ I don’t believe that anymore. I was ignorant to the experiences of poor people. I’d invite anyone to come and meet the people who live in this neighborhood. Right now we are surrounded by working poor people. These are the people who sell your tools at Sears, and fix your roofs, and take care of your parents, and mow your lawns, and serve your meals. They’re not getting a living wage. There’s no money left to save. There’s nothing left if they get sick. Nothing left if their car breaks down. And God forbid they make a mistake, because there’s nothing left to pay fines or fees. When you’re down here, the system will continue to kick dirt in your face. You can’t pull yourself up when there’s nothing to grab onto. We aren’t paying our brothers and sisters enough to live. We want them to serve us, but we aren’t serving them.”

3

So if you’ll recall the joke comic where Brownie Bun met her cheap knockoff Honey Bun (No Relation) and her ‘husband’ Pritchard you may be amazed to learn that there is now an actual Pritchard Dakimakura.


Good job Breakfast Man, I never actually believed you’d do this.