‘Dictatorship by the military is in no way good, however given the circumstances and as a matter of survival, a military coup was urgently needed in Turkey. Turkey, now under the rule of Erdagon, is going through a very rapid process of Islamisation.’
I (you may have noticed) post a significant amount of stuff about religion in general…and Christianity in particular. I just received a message asking if I’ve ever read The Bible.
A fair question.
Indeed, I have. Both my parents are ministers. I was dragged to church three times a week until I was 13. And, made to attend other meetings as well – Bible study, etc.
At that point, my parents gave me the option of continuing to attend church, or not. I chose “not.” (At that time, mostly so I could sleep-in on Sunday mornings.) There were some meetings I was made to attend until I was 17 or 18, and I was required to attend church for the first few weeks of Basic Training after I joined the United States Army.
As I got older, and learned more about the world, and about religion, I knew I’d made the right choice.
I believe anyone who has actually read The Bible completely – not just listened to or followed along with the abridged/abbreviated/edited parts most clergy deliver you on Sunday morning – would see the hypocrisy, hatred, and violence filling those pages. And, the hypocrisy of some people who claim to believe in the things in that book, but who use it to incite hatred and violence.
My parents are the smartest people I’ve ever met. And, they always encouraged education (something for which I will be forever grateful). But, they still cling to the belief that some magical, invisible being in the sky created heaven and Earth in six days, 6,000 years ago, and then left zero evidence of His/Her/Its existence.
Now, you can believe whatever you want to believe. If you need to believe in the Invisible Man to get through your day, fine. The Flying Spaghetti Monster? Great. Buddha? Vishnu? Allah? Zeus? More power to you.
But, too many people use their beliefs to force others to conform to their views. This is where my support for your beliefs ends. The First Amendment to the US Constitution guarantees us freedom of religion. That also means freedom from religion. It means you (not YOU in particular) don’t get to force your views on me because my Invisible Man is different from yours. Or, if I don’t have an Invisible Man.
“It is Allah Who has made for you the earth as a resting place, and the sky as a canopy, and has given you shape – and made your shapes beautiful -, and has provided for you Sustenance…” (Gafir 40:64)
‘There is nothing like Him, and He is the All-Hearer, the All-Seer’ (al-Shura 42:11).“
And it is in Allah that hope is never lost, and love is never dead. Whether you be on one side of the earth or the other; in the wetland or the dry; in the wealthy or the poor - whatever your situation calls for; health or money, companionship or love, protection or a solution.. there is infinite hope and love within Allah..
Salam aleykoum sister, I need your wise words because I lack confidence. People always praise me, tell me I'm pretty, or kind, so on...But I always focus on my bad sides, my temper, etc. I don't know how to start loving myself. I hurt people around me because I don't trust their words, or compliments. I've never asked God to help me through that and I feel like I should not complain, so idk if it's a good reason to ask God for help... Baraku Allah oufik 💕
Walaikom Assalam wa Rahmtullahi wa Barakatuhu,
Some Tips for Self Confidence/Self Love:
1. Stop saying bad things about yourself. Stop insulting yourself, calling yourself ugly, calling yourself dumb. You’re God’s creation, does God make mistakes? No. So to call yourself a failure, etc. is not good. There is nothing that comes from these comments, absolutely nothing good. It is not motivating, it sucks the life out of you. Work hard to stop saying bad things about you.
2. Stop saying bad things about others.If you do, same as above. Notice the beauty & good things in others always before the negative. It will help you see the beauty in yourself!
3. Say 3-5 positive remarks about yourself EVERY DAY. Start with traits you like, “I have nice teeth, my hair is soft, I am good at math”. Then after a while tackle traits you realllyyy dislike, “My stretch marks are a pretty color, my chubby tummy is really soft, the hair on my arms is really thick and that’s beautiful”. Even if you don’t realllyyyy believe it, just do it.
This also DOES NOT have to be physical. It could be, “Wow I am a great listener to my friends” or “I am patient and I cook really great eggs”
4. Do not compare yourself to others. She’s pretty, and so are you. “Another woman’s beauty is not the absence of your own” (someone said that on here but I don’t know who, so quotes are for them). You will never be anyone other than you. So invest in yourself now, with self love. There is no need to compare yourself to anyone other than yourself! :)
5. Forgive yourself for mistakes. We all make them. We all lose our temper. We all mess up! We are human, and Allah knows this. Allah just wants us to ask Him for forgiveness, and improve. Most times, in order to improve, we also need to forgive ourselves. Regret & thinking of our mistakes & flaws weighs us down. Learn from your mistakes, forgive yourself, and resolve to work harder to improve.
6. Celebrate all accomplishments, big or small. Be proud of yourself if you do well on an exam. Allow yourself to feel good if you do something cool, kind, smart, fun, whatever.
Read At-Tin and ponder it’s meaning
Allah took 3 beautiful oaths before saying that we (YOU!) have been created in the best of stature. You’re a product of Allah’s magnificence, don’t allow yourself to think otherwise
DO make dua for self-confidence. Rely on Allah at ALL times. Allah wants us to call out to Him, to ask him (beg him) for his mercy. So no, don’t EVER feel you cannot make dua to Allah for something. Ask Allah to allow you to see your beauty, your intelligence, your worth. Always always always ask Allah for help sister!
You’re not a burden. Anyone who makes you feel like a burden is in the wrong. You’re worth people’s time & consideration
Allah loves you
Allah wants you to come back to His deen and hear from you. Allah wants your dua. Allah wants you specifically to be the one who’s angel says “I saw her bowing down to you Allah”
There’s nothing wrong with you for feeling this way. Many girls have self-esteem issues, it’s an issue of society - you’re not inherently ‘wrong’
Your friends are not lying to you when they say you’re pretty. We never see our own beauty but others do, believe them.
Self-confidence is not arrogance
I ask Allah to bless you and all of our ummah, to recognize and value their worth, love themselves and appreciate their bodies, and stay steadfast on the deen of the Al-Mighty
If there is anything I can do to help you on your journey of ‘self-love’, please let me know habibti