no you really really need someone's help

saturn ❖ jongin

You wanted to understand why that boy looked so disgusted by your presence and why he ran away so clearly from your body.



(gif not mine, cr to the owner)

fanfiction, high school love, jongin! ocd, fluff, smut (in future) | velvet

✎ He made love in the best way a man could, he did it as if making love was showing to her his true self. When he was making love he was different, he was messy, he didn’t check things twice, he was another person, his body was sinuous and not stiff, he was happy. When he made love to her he was free from his nightmares, from his mind. 

[Warning: If you’re not comfortable with the topic of OCD, please don’t read]


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anonymous asked:

The Paladins so gets gravely injured how do they react?

i kind of still need those flirting tips so if anyone has any pls send them

Lance

  • stressed, really really stressed
  • he’s like,,, a calm stressed though
  • like he’s matured a lot so i’m guessing he’d call for backup like asap
  • and then he’d try to stay with you and kill everyone who comes by while he waits for backup
  • he’s very focused but every once in awhile he looks back
  • silently praying to every god he’s ever known to help you
  • he would feel so relieved when someone comes
  • but he’s not done fighting yet like he’d make sure not a one person so much as touches you as the person carries you aboard

Keith

  • he’s so mad how could he let that happen?
  • that person is DEAD okay like he wipes the whole battlefield
  • and then he calls for help right away
  • there is no way that someone could make him lose you
  • he just can’t he’s lost too many ppl in his life
  • someone bETTER come now like he???? needs that help???

Shiro

  • seemingly the most calm
  • he tries to talk to you to keep you awake
  • also tries to stop your bleeding
  • he really needs that help you guys :)))))
  • also backup because he’s the one taking you to safety
  • he’ll stay with you the WHOLE time that you’re in the pod
  • he has to see you come out safe
  • you just have to because he refuses to have another wounded soldier
  • his heart is too weak for this :(((

Hunk

  • switching between freaking out & being serious
  • one second he’s like ‘hELP’ And the next he’s ‘i’ll take them to the ship’
  • but he’s very scared for you
  • he wants to get you to safety right away!!!
  • no one stops him he’s a man on a mission
  • he also gets very snappy
  • he doesn’t want to lose you
  • he refuses to think about it, not even an option in his mind.

Pidge 

  • literally freaking out here
  • tries to guard you, she can’t let another galra take you while you’re wounded
  • she wants help!!!!now!!!!!!
  • everyone on the intercom is getting an earful
  • you think she doesn’t know curse words???
    • hunk: traumatized, and he doesn’t even know half the words she’s using either good lord
  • really though she just needs someone to drop what their doing and take you to the pod like she’s over here freaking out 
    • because maybe that wound could get worse and you’re dead by the time you get to the pod and she doesn’t like to think about that
How to Tell Your Friend That You Need a Break From Supporting Them

When I worked at a mental health crisis centre, I couldn’t believe how many people came to us, not because of their own problems, but because they were so lost in a friend’s pain that they couldn’t take it anymore. I saw a lot of people who were so worn down from helping someone else that they couldn’t sleep, eat, socialize or focus at work or school. They were consumed with guilt every time they put down their phones, went to sleep, or dared to enjoy themselves and have a good time. All because they had no idea how to set boundaries. 

Helping your friends through a tough situation is a wonderful and noble thing to do, but it only works if you’re mentally in a place to do so. If you’re dealing with issues or mental illness of your own, you’re not always capable of being someone else’s shoulder to cry on 24/7. And that’s okay. Sometimes, you have to put yourself first. You can’t help someone else if you’re a mess yourself. You can’t save a drowning person with a sinking ship. 

Telling a friend that you’re overwhelmed and you need a break is one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do. Honesty is the best policy - don’t go radio silent on them, or avoid answering their messages. Be honest about how you’re feeling, and what you need from them. If you’re stuck on what to say and how to start the conversation, here are a few suggestions. Feel free to copy them exactly:

It’s really hard for me to admit this, but I’ve been feeling like I’m on the verge of a breakdown lately. I love you and I care about you, but I need to take some time to take care of myself for a while. 

I’m really concerned about you, but I honestly don’t know how to deal with this and I’m worried I’ll say the wrong thing. I really think that you should talk to a professional about this. 

This is hard for me to admit, but I have a lot going on in my life right now, and it’s getting to be too much for me. Would it be okay if we talked about lighter stuff for the next little while?

You deserve more support than I can give you. I think you need to tell a close family member or professional about what’s going on. 

It seems like every time we talk about this, things are worse for you. I’m worried that my advice isn’t helping you at all, and I think you should talk to someone more qualified than me. 

I’m really worried for your safety, and it breaks my heart, but I can’t keep you safe all by myself. Would it be okay if we told someone else what was going on? 

I’m sorry, but I can’t answer my text messages 24 hours per day. I really want to make sure that you always have someone to turn to if I’m not available. Are there some other people you would trust with this? I can help you tell them, if you’re not comfortable doing it by yourself. 

I hope these suggestions are helpful - best of luck to all of you, and make sure to put your own mental health first when you have to. 

Hey, sorry to be posting on the meme bot account for this, but this is the biggest audience I’ve got. I need help finding a new home for a lovely kittycat in or around Albuquerque, New Mexico.

A friend of mine has a cat with some problems who needs a new home. She’s a good cat– loves to watch birds out the window, will sit next to you and purr– but she has both bowel and neurological issues and she has trouble using the litterbox. She regularly poops and pees outside of it. She is also very shy and needs someone who will really put in the effort to earn her trust.

I posted a Twitter thread with more information. We’re happy to provide her vet records and any other information that would be helpful for taking care of her.

We’ve been looking into shelters and sanctuaries in and around New Mexico, but very few of them have room for more cats at all, let alone the resources to take in a cat with neurological issues. She really needs a dedicated human (or family of humans!) who can spend the time and effort helping her.

If you know anyone like that, can you please pass this info along to them? You can contact me here, email me (barrlr AT barrl DOT net), @ me on Twitter, etc. We’re able to travel about a day from Albuquerque– so that means we can get to West Texas and anywhere in the 4 corners states– but I worry that going further than that would be extremely stressful for her, so I don’t want to do that unless we literally have no other options.

Thanks!

Dating Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder

by Darian Rehder (someone who has BPD) 

Things to Understand: 

1.
Their moods change a lot. This is not your fault most of the time. They just feel a lot, and when they’re attached to someone it can make their feelings stronger. It doesn’t mean that they feel all those things about you all the time. 

2. They probably think you’re going to leave them about every day, sometimes more often. If they ask you if you still like them, it’s because they honestly don’t know if you still do. They need to hear it often.

3. If they get randomly angry in the middle of something that you don’t think needs that kind of response, it is usually because something has triggered them. Learn what triggers the person you’re with, so you can both work to prevent it. 

4. Because they feel intense emotions, they also feel love and happiness at large proportions. This is great, because it means they really appreciate their relationships! 

5. Their minds are often on the most emotionally simulating things in their lives, because emotions this strong are hard to ignore. This means you’re probably on their mind a lot. 

6. They do not want to hurt you, if they truly love you. Sometimes when they get angry or depressed or anxious they feel like they need to hurt you or run away or that they don’t love you. This isn’t true, and they often regret or don’t stand by their emotional breakdowns after awhile. Sometimes immediately. 

Things You Can Do:

1. Validate their emotions. Never call them too emotional, needy, dramatic, intense, etc. even if they call themselves that. 

2. Don’t make promises you can’t keep. Chances are, they really do hold onto your words. 

3. If you are uncomfortable or need a break from them, which is okay, explain it in a way that makes them sure you aren’t going to leave and that you still love them or care about them. 

4. Do something that makes them feel loved and cared for.

5. If they’re in the midst of some negative emotion, don’t say anything judgmental, don’t tell them what to do, and don’t fight with them. This would be a good time to say something reassuring and kind with no judgmental or controlling undertones. If this doesn’t work and it seems to be going in a loop, refer to number three or continue to tell them how important they are to you. 

6. Remember that there are truths to everyone. Your person might feel like something is very sad, and it may not affect you at all. It doesn’t mean either of you are wrong to feel that way. 

7. Spend lots of time with them! Spending time and using your actions is a good way to reassure someone of your love. 

8. Learn what they love and learn what really upsets them. It’s always good to know someone and work to avoid hurting them. They can do this for you too! 

9. Don’t take things to heart. I know this is hard, but when someone with BPD has a breakdown, they often say things that they don’t truly stand by in the end. When they apologize, they often mean it with their whole heart. 

10. NEVER ignore them, unless you absolutely have to. If you can’t talk or don’t want to talk, explain this to them instead of ignoring their messages. When you ignore them, they assume you are going to leave them or that something is wrong. 

Reasons Why Being with Someone Who Has BPD is NOT Bad

1. Their intense emotions are biological, in most cases. It’s the same thing as having less emotions. It is not a bad thing to feel deeply. 

2. They, most likely, love you with all their heart. BPD people have the biggest hearts and really will work to do nice things for you and make you feel loved. 

3. They are most likely loyal as hell, and will put a lot of time and energy into you. 

4. Like any mental illness, BPD is something people do not want to have. This fact will help you remember that they are not deliberately trying to hurt you in any way and really do wish they didn’t have BPD. This is why they ARE NOT ABUSIVE 

5. All relationships need work. Communicating and working together can actually strengthen the bond you two have. 

6. It can be helpful for someone with BPD to have a relationship so they can practice ways to manage their emotions and actions. Chances are, the longer you’re with them, the more comfortable they will be with you. 

7. They’re always there for you too! All people with BPD that I know, including myself, are very good at talking about issues and helping others with problems. If you want to talk, you can count on them to give you all of their effort to help. 

8. Imagine dating someone with no emotions. That’d be probably a lot harder! Appreciate the deepness of your person’s feelings. It can make life a lot easier! 

9. If they are in a relationship with you, it’s probably because they want to be with you. Keep this in mind when they start feeling negatively. 

10. It’s a relationship! That’s always fun. It will have challenges like all relationships, but remembering that you are with someone you love will always make it easier. 

-Darian 

Nightmare Prevention Masterpost

Here’s a masterpost to help prevent nightmares, how to interpret them and how to deal with them.

Prevention:  

Crystals: Agate, Amethyst, Angel Phantom Quartz, Black Tourmaline, Chrysoprase, Dream Quartz, Emerald, Fluorite, Lepidolite, Malachite, Smoky Quartz, any crystals that are black

Herbs: Anise, Ash, Bracken, Cayenne, Cedar, Flax, Garlic, *Hyacinth, *Kanna, Lady’s Slipper, Lemon Balm, *Mistletoe, *Morning Glory, Mullein, Mustard Seed, Purslane, Rosemary, Sage, Salt, Siberian Ginseng, *Skullcap, *Tobacco, Vervain, Wood Betony

*Herbs that can be or are toxic to ingest or burn, do research before handling these herbs

Incense: Cedar, Chamomile, Rosemary, Sage

Animals: Spiders (spiderwebs)

Metals: Silver

Simple Tips:

  • Make chamomile tea with moon water/gem elixir and drink before bed
  • Keep your bedding and pillows washed and clean
  • Cleanse your room before going to sleep
  • Take a bath or shower before bed to relax and cleanse yourself
  • Keep a bowl of salt near your bed
  • Sleep with crystals beneath your pillow or near your bed
  • Fill a bag or sachet with herbs to keep under your pillow or hang above your bed
  • Sleep with a stuffed animal or blanket that you feel comforted by
  • Try not to snack too close to bed time, indigestion can lead to nightmares
  • Stretch before bed
  • Do breathing exercises or meditate before bedtime
  • Crack your window slightly to bring in fresh air while you sleep
  • Avoid nicotine, alcohol or caffeine too close to bed
  • Listening to calming ambient sounds can help

Dealing with Nightmares

Nightmares can be very stressful and terrifying. Everyone has them and sometimes they are caused by your own subconscious thoughts and worries. 

  • Keep a notebook or dream journal with a pen near your bed. When you wake up from a nightmare, even if you are distressed, try to write down your emotions, thoughts and what you can remember about the nightmare down.
  • Come morning research the symbolism of the things that happened and appeared in your nightmare. Also consider what they may mean personally to you. Do you have any memories or experiences that relate to what happened in your dream?
  • Look it all over after you finished your research. What picture does it paint? Is something from your waking life affecting you? Stresses? Arguments? Relationship problems? If so perhaps it is time you try to resolve these problems.

After waking up from a nightmare you can still feel rather distressed. 

  • Take deep breaths, as scary and distressing as it is, it is still just a dream
  • Get some water
  • Stretch or walk around if you can, get the jitters and shakes out 
  • Cleanse your room if you can, spray some moon water about or bring in some salt, help remove the negativity you just felt
  • Read a book, it can help relax you again and make you feel sleepy, especially after such a stressful experience
  • After you wrote down what you remember from your nightmare, don’t dwell on it right now. You can worry about it later, for now find other things to do if you are not interested in going back to sleep
  • Listen to calming music or sounds
  • Watch calming images or videos if needed such as rain falling, ocean waves, changing clouds, looping gifs, etc
  • If someone is around and there to listen, you can talk it out with them. It can really help calm you
  • Drink some chamomile tea, it really helps
  • Wash your face
  • Cuddle, pet or speak with a pet
  • Hold your favorite stuffed animal or blanket for comfort
  • Make a crystal grid of calming stones and negativity removal stones 
  • If you do not plan on going back to sleep or if it is already morning, take a shower or bath
  • If you do not plan on going back to sleep, light some white and black candles to cleanse yourself and space of the negative energy brought by the nightmare. Do this with caution, make sure you are not too tired to do this. Fires are not fun or safe 

Calming Crystals: Amber, Amethyst, Astrophyllite, Blue Lace Agate, Calcite, Celestite, Danburite, Desert Rose, Dioptase, Dolomite, Dravite, Fire Agate, Fluorite, Galena, Goldstone, Hematite, Howlite, Infinite Stone, Magnesite, Milky Quartz, Pietersite, Rhodonite, Sodalite, Sugilite, Tiger’s Eye, Vauxite

Cleansing Crystals: Amber, Ametrine, Aquamarine, Calcite, Chlorite, Fluorite, Gyrolite, Blue Tourmaline, Milky Quartz, Salt, Serpentine, Sunstone, and Turquoise

Calming Herbs: Basil, Chamomile, Hops, Lavender, Lemon Balm, Passion Flower, Rosemary, Siberian Ginseng, St. John’s Wort

Cleansing Herbs: Anise, Bay, Birch, Boodroot, Cedar, Chamomile, Fennel, Horseradish, Hyssop, Iris, Lavender, Lemon, Lemon Verbena, Mimosa, Parsley, Peppermint, Rosemary, Sage, Sagebrush, Shallot, Thyme, Tobacco, Turmeric, Vervain, Yucca

Research herbs to ensure they are safe before using them

Nightmare Prevention Spells:

*Spells that are not mine

When you’re a little depressed and nobody takes it seriously or wants to help you, it’s really tempting to feel like if only you were MORE depressed, THEN people would realize you were in actual pain and actually get off their asses and help you.

As someone who’s been there: Nope, sorry. Our society is woefully inadequate at giving actual help and support to people with any level of depression. Like, when they realize you’re stuck in a really deep pit they might lower you a rope to pull yourself up with, but the rope’s still ten feet short. When you let other people decide how much help you need, they’ll probably always underestimate it.

The sucky part about depression is that the best way to get good help for it is to demand it.  It’s to be, or have, a loud, active, pushy advocate for what you need. This disease is so deadly because right when you need to say, “That doesn’t sound like enough,” it pushes you to dully say, “Okay, I guess,” and stop bothering people.

hi I’m kelsey.

I’m in a really bad situation at the moment and it’s really hard for me to even write this, I’m not one to usually ask or even open up when help is needed but this is really urgent and apparently this is all I have left. 

So my mum was recently diagnosed with a disability called MS which is basically like brain damage and it affects the whole body, she had to leave her job because she’s in so much pain and she was on sick pay for a while which did help but now she’s not getting any money and even the government won’t give her money. 

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fake dating! zimbits

It was only by a stroke of luck that Jack happened to look at his phone just as he exits the lecture hall. The group chat was blowing up – the group chat was always blowing up these days – but the lack of all-caps or exclamation marks caught his attention right away.

Eric Bittle: Guys, I wouldn’t ask this of y’all if I really didn’t need this, but I have to ask a HUGE favor of one of you.

Shitty Knight: brah are you dying

Justin Oluransi: You can have my kidney, Bits.

Adam Birkholtz: u aren’t gonna save that for me just in CASE, JUSTIN?

Larissa Duan: shit, bitty, r u ok

Eric Bittle: Um, yeah, mostly, I just…..need someone to pretend to be my boyfriend.

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Guys My Age (1)

Pairing: Bucky X Reader

Words: 2554

Warnings: Lap dancing. ANGST.

Summary: You’re playing truth or dare with the Avengers when Nat asks you when the last time you got laid was  and Sam dares you to pick a song that perfectly grasps why you haven’t had sex in so long.

A/N: Thanks for the anon who recommended this song. I thank the heavens I found it because it’s so fucking relevant. I can’t seem to write smut without just a tinsy bit of a plot. But here you go.

Permanent tag list: @meganlane84

Part 2 Part 3

Originally posted by haidaspicciare

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anonymous asked:

Isn't there a really dodgy bit in Why Does He Do That? I read somewhere that it says a man who says he's being abused is the abuser in a relationship, which... no, male victims of domestic abuse exist too...

Yes.  I was actually going to post about this.

It’s not just a “dodgy bit”.  There are multiple points at which he says things that I didn’t care for.

The “male abuse victims are probably lying” thing is is the biggest flaw in the book, but the book is still absolutely vital, and people should still read and recommend it.  Full stop.  Because a thing is flawed does not mean it has no value and should not be circulated to those people that it could help.  If the book were less shockingly accurate and unflinching in its portrayal of abusive men, if it were less good in the ways that it is good, perhaps I would feel more hesitation.

I’ve read basically the whole thing so far (I’m about 20-30 pages from the end in the PDF), and here’s the deal.

He doesn’t say unilaterally that men lie about being abused.  He says that abusive men lie about being abused by women.  It’s a fine distinction, and not really much better, but I want to be clear that that is what he is saying.  Not that men lie about all abuse, but that they lie about being abused by women.  Abusive men, especially, will tell this lie to get the upper hand.

Based on what he has seen after dealing with a couple thousand men who abuse women, I do not doubt that this is true.

But he seems to think the number of abused men is smaller than the number of abusive men who are lying about being abused.  Even if that is true, abused men are not acceptable collateral damage.  It’s not okay to act like the issue isn’t important just because liars exist.

He uses SOME qualifying language. I’m not going to go digging for it, but it’s along the line of “Male victims of domestic violence are really rare compared to the number of female victims.”  After that he kind of treats it like they either don’t exist, or the fact that they do is irrelevant in the face of the much more widespread problem of men who abuse women.  I won’t lie, that’s not good.

To be frank, he does not seem all that aware of social justice issues the way that all us gigantic queers on Tumblr are.  His awareness of LGBT issues is peripheral.  When he says “men” and “women”, he definitely means “cis men” and “cis women”.  And the book definitely reads like a book written by a cis dude to me.  But honestly, this is a book that only a cis dude could have written, because only a cis dude could have worked with other (cis) men the way he has, and it is precisely that experience that makes it so valuable.

The fact that he’s biased doesn’t mean he is talking out his ass the rest of the time.  He’s not.  At the time of publication (2002) he had worked with over two thousand abusive men whose targets were women.  He pioneered recovery programs for these men.  He was the first to really get down and work with them on a daily basis, both in group and personal therapy settings.  And that experience shows.

No.  He really really doesn’t understand abused men.

But he understands abusive men.  Specifically, he understands men who abuse women.

On the one hand, it’s given him an unprecedented level of insight into abusers’ mindsets, and that is so valuable.  

On the other, the graphic and awful examples he has seen of men who are lying to get themselves out of trouble or justify their behavior have definitely colored his views of male victims.  These men – men, I emphasize, referred to him by the legal system, meaning they were entirely confirmed abusers – WERE almost always lying about it.  I think he mentions two exceptions?  And yeah, that sounds like shit abusers fucking do.  I believe him.

Within his setting, within his sample, I believe he is 100% correct in his assessment – abusers are likely to be lying about having suffered partner violence.

That setting absolutely is not the rest of the world, and I think he loses sight of that, if he ever had sight of it to begin with.  That’s a terrible flaw.

Another flaw is that it gives very little face-time to same-sex relationship abuse.  It goes into it a little, and does it a little ham-handedly but not too badly, but mostly it gets ignored.

Rather than raise these issues at all and then doing it badly, I wish he had said “The issue of abuse in LGBT relationships, as well as the issue of women abusing men, is sadly beyond the scope of my experience, and therefore this book is not about those issues.”

There is nothing wrong with focusing on one aspect of the issue of intimate partner violence.  That he did so is not a bad thing.  The bad thing that he did is to treat the rest of it like a non-issue, when it isn’t, and that he said some things that encourage the reader to be generally suspicious of men who say that women have abused them.  Those are bad things.

Would I recommend it to a man who is being/was abused by a woman?  No no no.  Absolutely not.  Those dynamics are completely different, and the abuse is likely to look very different, and I feel like very little of it will be accessible to someone in that situation.  I think it would do more harm than good.

Would I recommend it to someone in a non-cishet relationship?  Maybe, but probably not, unless I had a little insight into the relationship and felt like it would be a good match.

Would I still recommend it to women, or to people who want a general understanding of the dynamics between abusive cis men and abused women?  YES.  YES A THOUSAND TIMES.

The book is not “good” in a morally/ideologically pure, okay?  It is flawed.  But for what it is, which is a book about men who abuse women, it is very good.   He is on the side of abused women, all the fucking way.  And that is still an astonishingly rare thing to find. 

It validates the experiences of women abused by men by showing different types of abusive behavior and different types of abuser.  He says at multiple points “If you’re wondering whether it’s abuse, then it probably is.”  And that is still such a radical, necessary, healthy and badly-needed thing to say.

I’m not going to defend the way he treats the issue of abused men, or abuse in LGBT relationships,  He barely deals with these issues at all, and when he does, it’s halfhearted at best and actively regressive at worst.  In that regard, it’s shitty.  If that is what you are needing, this book won’t give it to you.

I am going to defend it as an excellent starting place for women abused by men, or in toxic almost-abusive relationships with them.

I would prefer it not be flawed, and if it has to be flawed, I would prefer it come with a disclaimer, but I would rather it circulate flawed and without a disclaimer of any kind that fail to reach someone who really, really needs it.

We could be waiting a long time for a better, more inclusive book to come out.  There’s not time to wait.  This book is needed now.  TODAY.

That said, I am always glad to reblog helpful resources for abused men, or for people in non-cishet relationships, if you know of any.  I would love to know about comparable GOOD books for LGBT people, if you know any, or would love to know about GOOD books written for male victims of domestic violence.

Sensory Overload Tips

as someone who frequently gets sensory overloads, here’s some tips for helping a friend with sensory overload and some tips for coping with them yourself.

To Help:

1. Give the person space!
this might seem like the most obvious thing ever, but if someone’s having a meltdown they need space so they don’t accidentally hurt you while they’re having a hard time.

2. DO NOT hit, get physical with, smack, or tackle the person to the ground!!!
DO NOT DO THIS. a sensory overload and subsequent meltdown is NOT your chance to physically harm someone. slapping them or hitting them will not make them “snap out of it” and you’ll only make them have a worse time.

3. Try to get them to a place where the stimuli isn’t as bad
i know that oftentimes it’s hard to remove a person from a loud situation, especially if they’re at a dance or a club, but trying to get them somehwere quieter like a bathroom or a stairwell will help 100% more than just getting people to move away from them and leaving them in the area where they’re overloaded.

4. Quietly ask them if they need anything and try to get it if they do
PLEASE do not pester the person with questions, just ask them calmly if they need water or a stim toy or something.

5. Act like it’s not a big deal if other people ask what’s wrong
this one might not be the case for everyone, but i’m always so so thankful when my friends don’t make a scene when i’m overloaded. it’s embarrassing when people start to ask questions and if someone acts like it’s a big problem, that’s even worse.

6. Let the person stim in whatever way they want
even if the stims seem weird, their comfort is the most important thing in this moment. if they request stim toys or their personal items like their bag or phone, give it to them. they desperately need the stuff and now’s not the time to be preaching about how dependent we are on technology.

To deal with:

1. Try to recognize the signs as quickly as possible
is your heart racing? are you sweating for no apparent reason? feeling tightness in your chest or lightheadedness? it’s probably a good time to find a quiet spot or bust out a stim toy.

2. Don’t try to control your stimming/echolalia
trying to stop yourself from stimming really doesn’t help. i know you don’t want to cause a scene, but you need to get rid of the excess sensory input in order to calm down. if you really want to conceal your echolalia, hold your phone up to your face, everyone will assume you’re talking to someone.

3. Bring your stim toys/comforting objects with you!
i know my stim toys/comfort objects tend to be bigger, but just bringing a spinner, headphones, or a clicky pen or even hobby items like a knitting project can help. most other autistic people i know have stim bags that they keep on them, and that’s great for sensory overloads! bringing scented items helps me a whole lot, because smells tend to calm me down.

4. Grounding techniques
anything to remind you where you are/that you’re still real and in the present is helpful. rubbing your hands together (but not so much that they start to feel numb), touching something slightly warm/slightly cool, pressure stimming, or covering your ears can be very grounding.

5. Drink some water/eat some food afterwards
this one’s really important, you need to stay hydrated especially! i know it seems beaten into the ground, but some room temperature/cool water really helps me after because drinking is a grounding sensation to me. food might not be the best idea if you get queasy, but beverages are helpful.

6. Treat yourself after!
aside from getting yourself a pick-me-up in the form of food and a beverage, do something nice. eat that special food you love, do one of your favorite hobbies, play your favorite game an hour longer than usual. you deserve it.

afullgrownteenwizkid  asked:

Hey Thomas, I volunteer at Teen Line and tonight when I was there I was really excited to see that a bunch of the people I talked to heard of us from you! We get plenty of calls and texts but it's a pretty big deal for us when someone promos us. Thanks so much for that. I'm really glad I got to talk to the people who heard of us from you. :) ❤️

Oh my goodness!!!! That is absolutely wonderful!!!! It’s so great what you guys are doing there, thank you for helping so many who need it!!

My desires in a relationship have changed over time. I no longer want someone who promises to always love me and never leave me, I need someone who understands that life happens and sometimes things don’t work out. I don’t want someone who sugar coats things and never gets angry with me, I need someone to tell me how it really is and put me in my place. I need to be able to go five hours without talking to you and not feel lost or incomplete. I am complete without you. But with you, I want to be so much better. I want to be stronger with you. I want us to grow together and help each other grow individually. I don’t need you, but I really fucking want you. And this may not work out, but the fact that you understand all of this and this is how our relationship works, makes me think we’ve got a pretty good shot.

“You brought me back to life. Just let me be someone who deserves it.”

Was anyone else really torn up by this quote? It really gives you a look into the mind of this character, doesn’t it? I mean, Lars is at a point where he believes he does not  deserve to live.

Like, this isn’t even one of those storylines where Steven had to make some kind of massive sacrifice or something to make it happen. The process didn’t exactly hurt or inconvenience anyone in any way, and yet he still doesn’t think he deserves to live.

Guys, this little human needs help. :(

see, like, missy has been a very touchy character in this regen?

she snogs the doctor, and constantly rests her arm around him/on his shoulder (outside st paul’s, and once she’s free on the plane, to name a few times), and just holding on to him for dear life when he kisses her in the graveyard. she wraps her arm around osgood. in s9, she reaches into clara’s personal space to make her have the vortex manipulator, and she sits very closely to the doctor in the ship.

getting into people’s personal spaces is a very quick and effective way to make them very uncomfortable, and she uses this to her advantage to scare osgood, and her just being nearby people makes them nervous.

the scene in which she reaches for the doctor (and to me she looks like she’s reaching to fix his coat, like in s8 with the unit/cybermen in the square scene),  he steps back, and it shows she wants to be near him and touch him for her own comfort, not to make him uncomfortable. she instantly stops, and freezes and looks down and laces her fingers together, kinda shakily. she doesn’t continue her attempt, which is something the old her might have done - stepping forward and not allowing a rejection in the first place.

[gif from @the-clever-boy-in-the-funny-hat​]

12 recognizes, however, how much she needs that contact, but isn’t ready to give it. he’s not much of a hugging person, but he understands that she needs that from him, so he does what he can. her reaction to this, like she’s taking a breath, about to speak, is so fundamental. she knows he’s trying to help her too, but doesn’t know how to convey how much she needs it without embarrassing herself/acting ooc.

i feel that missy really needs that hug. she really, really needs it. even just from bill. she hasn’t really had physical contact with anyone in years, presumably, and that does things to a person whose character revolves a lot around it. she’s restraining herself so much.

please help :(

i wrote to this blog about fundraising for an abortion and i’m really hoping someone can help me out. my name is sam and i’m a trans guy living in california. i’ve only come out to myself as trans recently and am in a relationship with a really awesome guy who i was with before i realized i was trans. unfortunatrly, part of the reason i realized i’m trans is because i experience dysphoria. me and my boyfriend found out i’m about 13 weeks pregnant about a week ago (i’m really skinny and i haven’t gained much weight so i didn’t know until now). neither him or i are in a good financial position for this, and i can’t help but feel really uncomfortble thinking about what’s inside of me. i thought about adopting out, but whenever i think about being pregnant or giving birth, i just start freaking out. i really need this to be over as soon as possible.

i called a clinic near me and they said for how far along i am, it’ll be about $855. since i’m in cali, i don’t need a parent’s permission, and so far, i’ve mnaged to keep it a secret, which is for the best when it comes to my family. i hate asking for help like this, but i just cant see any other way i can afford this. i really hope someone here can help me.

i set up a paypal account just for this and any donations can be sent to paypal.me/samw2003. thank you so much, i’m really greatful for any help i can get.



Hi Sam. I’m so sorry to hear about the position you’re in, we can absolutely try to help you out. If anyone has a few dollars lying around, please consider donating to Sam. Big hugs to you, hang in there! We’ll help get you through this.
-V

Reminder that Keith loves Shiro more than anyone and the fact that he is shouldering the tremendous weight of his grief while still moving forward to lead is evidence of his incredibly strong will and dedication to the team. This is especially true now that we know the intensity of his emotions is due to his galra side and that it was Shiro who helped him learn how to cope. Which honestly sheds a whole new light on this:

Even struggling with his turmoil of emotions and galra nature, Keith still picks himself back up. He pilots Black despite hating the idea of replacing Shiro because he knows it’s what the team needs–knows it’s what Shiro would want. But he also really grieves Shiro, vows to never give up on him. And I really hope Shiro knows how loved he is, how Keith would give almost anything to have him back, how much Keith’s heart aches for him. Your friend desperately wants to see you. Shiro has someone who will never give up on him, and he deserves to know that. 

Skinny Love | Jungkook | PT. 1

Originally posted by sugutie

Summary: You and Jungkook have been friends for a long time, probably so long that you can even consider one another best friends. You can spot each other in any crowd just by the bond you share, and you communicate sometimes in your own language. But you weren’t content with being ‘just friends’. You wanted more, but what itched at you was the question of if he felt the same.

Potential Pairing: Jungkook x Reader (Female)

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Future Smut, Mature Content—cursing, drinking and obviously sex. College!AU

There will be four(?) parts to this. Enjoy part one and please don’t forget to vote and give me feedback. 

-Tee

Chapters: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04


S A T U R D A Y

You can recall the many times you had the opportunity to tell Jungkook how you felt. There was the time during the twelfth grade trip when you both were sitting next to one another on the bus ride home, he made a blanket for you with his sweater and told you to lean on his shoulder as he attempted to sing you to sleep. He looked like an angel that night, you were both close to the point where you could have whispered to him that you liked him and kissed him.

There was that time when you carried him home when he got wasted for the first time, which he never did again, and he was so out of it you could have confessed to him without actually confessing. He was so drunk that he wouldn’t even remember it the next day, it would save you the embarrassment but the sadness would still be hanging over you.

The memories of all the times he had asked you who you liked came back to you. You really could have pointed to him, looked him in the eye and said, “you. I like you Jungkook.” But life isn’t always like they say in the movies to make things speed up, things like this took time, even four years or so worth of it.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hi Sarah! Do you have any advice on freshman in uni, first time moving out of a house with my own bedroom and lots of privacy, to an apartment that I'm going to share with 5 other girls, and a bedroom I'm sharing with 1 girl and her dog?? I'm at a complete loss at what to bring and what to expect

10 Things To Think About When Moving In To A New Apartment With New Roommates, A List I Just Made Up And Is Not At All Inspired By The Horror Story of My Personal Experiences.

1) holy cannoli that is a lot of bodies to share a space with. Be aware that that is…a lot of bodies to share a space with, and you might have to carve out a cubicle in he library, or a practice room in the Music Building, or somewhere else where you can go to be alone. This is not a moral failing, just know that option is open to you.

2) be really really up front with what you need. Notice I did not say “exactly how you want your life to look”—I mean the things you absolutely cannot give up. For instance, if you know that Roommate B’s habit of listening to music without headphones in the kitchen will make you go insane axe-murderer on her, that’s something you need to talk about with Roommate B.

This is especially important if you’re crammed into a 8x10 space with someone. Clarifying with your Bedroommate that you need quiet after 10pm—or you’re not helping walk the dog—or you sometimes need time to yourself & it’s not a reflection on her—is something to talk about now rather than later, when you’re more likely to have an argument than a discussion.

3) Chances are, you will have to compromise on what you need anyway. Communication just makes it more likely to reach a genuine compromise, where everybody isn’t tearing their hair out or suppressing anger.

4) Have a chore wheel, or at least agree on a system for taking care of the mess. It’s the dorkiest thing in the entire world, but a chore wheel where you guys are explicit about when everybody needs to do their stuff, is the easiest way to head 50% of fights at the pass. If possible, spell out what each task means: “clean the bathroom” = “wiping down the shower, windexing the mirror, cleaning the toilet bowl, and sweeping the floor”

Someone is still not going to do their job and you’re going to have a repeat of the cold war over a stack of dishes in the sink. But at least if you can point to the chore wheel it’ll be resolved much more easily.

5) Be very clear on what each roommate is paying for. Are you guys going to share groceries? Split only basics like toilet paper, spices, milk and eggs? Is the stuff in common areas (dishes, pots, tables, books, tvs) communal? Do you owe anyone for using it?

6) I recommend a monthly roommate meeting. We used to have ours at 10pm on Sunday, because everyone was generally in the apartment then. We used the Roommate Meetings to pay bills (rent and utilities) but also to talk about any issues we felt pertinent.

And I only had 2 roommates. With 5, you probably definitely need a time to circle up and get shit in order.

7) There is never going to be enough counter space, table space, general-flat-surface space for all your junk. Never. I live alone with a kitchen island and tabletop cart and there isn’t. It’s some sort of law of the universe.

8) Be reasonable. You can hate how loud Roommate C’s friends are all you like, but she is entitled to have them over Friday night for board games. If she cleared it with you beforehand, Roommate D’s boyfriend can come stay for the week even if you’re sick of seeing his face over your oatmeal. Flexibility and understanding from you means you’ll get the same in return.

9) But also, be prepared to enforce your boundaries. If Roommate D’s boyfriend decides not to leave after a week, and actually looks like he might be de facto moving in, you’re well within your rights to approach D and your other roommates and talk to them about how that isn’t what you signed up for.

10) WHAT TO BRING (on top of the typical stuff that I imagine you’re already bringing, like a bed, sheets, towels, clothes, etc.)

  • Cleaning products. 
    • You will need them. Probably immediately after showing up when you realize the previous tenants didn’t do an A+ job.
  • 1 pot, 1 skillet, 1 pan, a knife and a wooden spoon 
    • (I don’t know if you’re planning on cooking much, but you can cook pretty much everything in the entire universe of food if you have these five things.)
  • Command strips. 
    • The best part of command strips is now not only can you hang that cool poster, but they come in hooks too. I hang practically everything from command hooks—all my cooking spoons, towels, necklaces, keys. The easiest way to organize stuff.
  • A couple rubbermaid or general storage boxes, of a size that will fit under your bed or in the back of your closet. 
    • You are 100% going to have stuff that you need, but not right now: your stash of winter clothes, extra pads or tampons (if necessary), spare cleaning products, the iron, shoes you really only wear with this one outfit, etc. Stick all that stuff in a box to keep the mess from sprawling everywhere.
  • Tape and scissors. 
    • Do not ask me why you (or your roommates) will end up needing tape and scissors, I don’t know. But you will.
  • At least 1 of your favorite things.
    • Look, it’s not always the first night, or even the second. But there’s going to be a night when you’re finished unpacking and the excitement of a new place has worn off, when you lay in bed and your heart finally realizes you aren’t home anymore. That you are in a strange place, and everything is going to be weird and different for a while until you settle into it. And you are going to feel an awful, niggling panic and misery rise up from the center of you like a cold tide.
    • And then, you’re really going to want your favorite book, or Nutella, or that comic you’ve been promising yourself, or whatever it is that won’t…really make anything better, but might make you feel better about it