no you look like poo

boopthesnekonthesnoot  asked:

Could you list all of the Snek Scout skills?

I can try!

Snek Scouts obtain merit badges in four different areas of discipline: Snakery, Braveness, Adventure, and Creativity. I don’t know all of them yet but here’s what I’ve been able to determine thus far:

Badges for Braveness include:
-Shakey Tail
-Anger Puff
-Cober Stance
-Very Danger Head Flatten
-Do Such a Bite 

Under the Adventure heading we have:
-Dig With Your Face
-Go Up
-Outdoors Adventure Time
-Dinner Hunt (Finding f/t prey that’s been dragged around the enclosure)
-Hide Really Good

Snakery skills for a Snek Scout are:
-Drink the Water
-Food Goes in the Mouth
-Maek a Screm (yawn really big)
-Squeeze Food
-Nap So it Looks Like You Are Dead

Creativity badges are earned for:
-Poo Art
-Home Redecoration
-Maek a Ghost-Snek (shed)

There are levels to most badges as well. A level one Poo Art badge might be earned for making a mess that trails across your enclosure, while a level two or even level three might be earned for pooing up the wall or tail-painting with poo.

If you’d like to propose additional Snek Scout skills worthy of merit badges, I’m all ears!

✰ * º ❛  new girl ‘kids’ (s1e21) sentence starters.  ❜

‘  you’re using birth control, right?  ’
‘  it’s just that he’s so athletic that birth control becomes like one of those plastic barbecue covers in a hurricane.  ’
‘  i didn’t wanna know that.  ’
‘  what is all the screaming about?  ’
‘  have you finally agreed to be in our third? because, you know, we’ve discussed this.  ’
‘  what? this is not the time!  ’
‘  i was the bomb diggity as a baby! i mean i was like break-dancing at eight months old.  ’
‘  get out! seriously?  ’
‘  he’s got too many d.u.i.’s to take himself, so i guess i got to take him.  ’
‘  they’re going to be here in a few minutes, so i need you to be on your best behavior.  ’
‘  no f-bombs, p-bombs. actually, no b through s bombs. no bombs.  ’
‘  please put on some pants.  ’
‘  everything you say sounds really creepy when you’re not wearing pants.  ’
‘  your hair looks nice.  ’
‘  mm, this coffee is smoldering.  ’
‘  so creepy.  ’
‘  i think he’s testing me. i think he’s seeing if i could be a mom.  ’
‘  put some some pants… or at least some really high socks.  ’
‘  i just wanted to make sure that there wasn’t some important piece of information that i totally missed.  ’
‘  actually, can you explain what you mean very clearly?  ’
‘  it’s been months of nonstop sex.  ’
‘  i’m not listening to you.  ’
‘  i’m just saying, look, do you think she wants something more than sex?   ’
‘  do you think she’s finally becoming a girl? cause i can’t handle that, man.  ’
‘  do you think i’ve become too dependent on a hot lava massage?  ’
‘  i’m gonna be there in just a second, okay?  ’
‘  i’m not going to sit here and bond with you about this, alright?  ’
‘  i gotta go babysit my boss.  ’
‘  i’m coming with a date.  ’
‘  she’s smart and mature and she knows about art and famous artists like banksy and the guy who did the obama poster and, you know, like, chalk outline guy.  ’
‘  that’s stupid.  ’
‘  your eyes are so brown. they look like poop.  ’
‘  be honest with me, do my eyes look like poo?  ’
‘  i’m just trying to give you an opportunity to lie to me. just trying to be polite.  ’
‘  actually, the ancient egyptians made pasta by flattening the dough with their feet.  cool, huh?  ’
‘  why do you have so many bras?  ’
‘  i just want you to know that, um, you can ask me anything.  ’
‘  are you in love with my dad?  ’
‘  do you two ever dry-lump?? ’
‘  is sexting cool?  ’
‘  have you done a 99?  ’
‘  have you ever given anyone plow chops?  ’
‘  how do you make love to a person animal-style?  ’
‘  do you wanna learn how to play bridge?  ’
‘  i’ve been doing some thinking and i think it’s time that i take you on a real date.  ’
‘  you’re asking me out on a date?  ’
‘  it’ll be our first real date! italy on ice is a celebration of all things italian, featuring ice dancing’s biggest and brightest italian stars.  ’
‘  i can’t go right now. it’s a really bad time, okay? i’m sorry, just take someone else.  ’
‘  i don’t think you should be rushing into these things.  ’
‘  i know, that sucked. i’m sorry.  ’
‘  just choose someone who makes you laugh.  ’
‘  oh my god, oh my god. i love them so, so, so much. they’re so hot.  ’
‘  i want to rub my face on his face!  ’
‘  just to be clear, i am dialing another woman to go see italy on ice right now.  ’
‘  this room can not take anymore hormones.  ’
‘  it’s almost too much juxtaposition for me. you know what i mean? it’s like right at the line of juxtaposition, but i think i’m gonna let it slide.  ’
‘  what it be girl? what you got going on, ma? it’s the freakin’ weekend.  ’
‘  did you just call me “girl”?  ’
‘  are you wearing something sexy?  ’
‘  oh, you got jeans on, baby, are they tight?  ’
‘  um, my jeans are a little loose. i buy them big.  ’
‘  oh, them jeans sound sexy.  ’
‘  everything alright? you wanna hang out more?  ’
‘  you taking care of that tushy for me?  ’
‘  i’m not doing, like, squats or anything. i’m trying to eat less donuts.  ’
‘  you still keeping it tight?  ’
‘  you’re an idiot.  ’
‘  this is a really good example of people who should not be making love.  ’
‘  you don’t understand. i love him so, so, so much.  ’
‘  he’s so hot, i’m gonna die!  ’
‘  he is way too old for you. i live with him. he’s dirty and weird.  ’
‘  it’s not well ventilated in there!  ’
‘  oh yeah, baby, a yard sale! oh, i feel so alive!  ’
‘  ah, i got a charley horse. oh, god.  ’
‘  i’m going to roll in his dirty clothes.  ’
‘  he came over and asked me out and i really can’t go on a date with him right now.  ’
‘  listen to me, alright! listen to me! alright, you little brat! you just need to be quiet!  ’
‘  you just need to be quiet because i need my friend to focus on me right now!  ’
‘  what are you doing? you know how much this means to me.  ’
‘  don’t let your dysfunction rub off on her.  ’
‘  i am going to be a terrible mother!  ’
‘  i’m going to be just like my mother.  ’
‘  you’re gonna be a great mom. you’re gonna be a fashionable mom.  ’
‘  if you do have sex, make sure you always use protection because, even if he says it’s tantric and you know better, you’re just gonna end up pregnant anyways!  ’
‘  what? are you pregnant?  ’
‘  we have to wait for the test results, but i’m late.  ’
‘  you got her pregnant?  ’
‘  okay, i’m not ready to be a godparent. don’t ask.  ’
‘  i’m not ready to be an uncle!  ’
‘  are you sure that you’re okay about this? cause i’m freaking out by the fact that you’re not freaking out.  ’
‘  i’m oddly calm about the whole thing.  ’
‘  maybe this isn’t exactly my five-year plan, but maybe this is fate. maybe i hit the jackpot. maybe this is the universe telling me that i’ll never find someone better than them.  ’
‘  your life’s like gossip girl… only everyone is old and poor.  ’
‘  you’re an amazing person and you’re going to do and be so many things in this life.  ’
‘  maybe you’ll be a mom, and maybe– maybe not. but i will support you no matter what.  ’
‘  congradulations! you’re dating a girl with basic table manners.  ’
‘  i’m so excited to be on this journey with you. i mean, your boobs are gonna be unbelievably enormous.  ’
‘  i hate her.  ’
‘  you don’t hate her. you don’t know her well enough to hate her.  ’
‘  you’re the skank with a skank face.  ’
‘  don’t make me chase you!  ’
‘  she doesn’t even know what netscape is… she thinks of ice cube as mainly an actor.  ’
‘  she fell in love with you for some unknown reason.  ’
‘  i might as well call you bridge to terabithia because you make children cry.  ’
‘  i will not apologize for my powerful sperm!  ’
‘  you, go stall her – try not to get her pregnant!  ’
‘  i know that you think you’re in love with me right now, but i promise you, you’re gonna find someone better.  ’
‘  i can be a bit of an anchor. i’ve been known to drag women down.  ’
‘  honestly, help me. i don’t know what to do.  ’
‘  i haven’t loved somebody the way you loved me in a very long time and i miss that feeling.  ’
‘  that feeling you have is good, it’s just misplaced. it’s better than being numb your whole life. you end up doing such weird things.  ’
‘  you know what? just stay in there. it’s not that great out here. stay in there as long as you can.  ’
‘  i can’t come out. i’m too embarrassed.  ’
‘  we are literally the most embarrassing people on the planet.  ’
‘  you don’t have to be embarrassed around us.  ’
‘  sometimes i talk louder to blind people.  ’
‘  i’ve peed in every pool i’ve been into. every single one.  ’
‘  i originally grew these bangs because i hate my forehead.  ’
‘  i still think it’s funny when a guy puts tennis balls under his shirt and pretends it’s boobs… they look like little boobs.  ’
‘  i do so many stupid things. you don’t even know.  ’
‘  there is a god! i’ve got my period! it’s so amazing!  ’
‘  welcome to our home. would you like a drink?  ’
‘  i’m kind of over you now.  ’
‘  bye! you’re a mess!  ’
‘  i’m not having kids until i’m 80.  ’
‘  now we can just go back to the way things were.  ’
‘  no more stupid mistakes, right?  ’
‘  i never knew that italy was so much more than pizza. it’s so much more!  ’
‘  the reenactment of pompeii really stays with you.  ’

His Childhood Sweetheart - Ashton Irwin Smut

Originally posted by suitelikechocolate


Word count - 7663 ish

Pairing - Y/N and Ashton

Smut?: YAS!!!


Keep reading


🙏  deuces, 2016~

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Sweet Surprise - Requested (Luke)

Anon asked: A fluffy imagine where you surprise Luke on tour after months of being apart. 

Hope it’s fluffy enough! 

Boo-Poo: I miss you xxx

You: Miss you too xxx

Boo-Poo: Miss you more!

You: Not possible!

Boo-Poo: Trust me I miss you more

You: Doubt it, you know you being this huge rock star and me being at home, alone L

Boo-Poo: Don’t be sad

You: Just because I miss you, can’t help it

Boo-Poo: Know the feeling babe. Skype tomorrow?

You: Yes please!!! J

Boo-Poo: Can’t wait!!! Love you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

You: Love you too xxxxxxxxxxxx

Boo-Poo: I sent you more L

You: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Boo-Poo: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


You: Morning!

Boo-Poo: Good sleep?

You: Yesss, dreamed about you

Boo-Poo: And you didn’t have a nightmare? :p

You: You’re an idiot!

Boo-Poo: But I’m your idiot ;)

You: Yes you are! What time is it?

Boo-Poo: 3a.m.

You: Go to sleep Luke!

Boo-Poo: I will, just needed to hear from you before I could. No Skype?

You: I can’t, I’m getting ready, late already. Sorry! L

Boo-Poo: Don’t worry about it

You: Was really looking forward to it, miss your face

Boo-Poo: Me too, can barely remember what you look like :p

You: Hey! :O

Boo-Poo: Jokes J

You: Better be! Sweet dreams!!! Love you xxxxx

Boo-Poo: Have a great day!! Love you xxxxxx


You: Had a super busy day, so tired! You okay?

Boo-Poo: I’m okay, just had my lunch. Try to relax tonight

You: Just going to eat dinner, take a hot bath and hit the hay extra early

Boo-Poo: You deserve it x

You: Thanks babe. How are the shows going?

Boo-Poo: Great, so much fun. Crowd last night was mental!

You: They’re mental everywhere you go ;)

Boo-Poo: True :p No but they were on another level. If you were there, you would have lost your ears, literally. They were so loud, but really nice though. But to be fair everywhere we do is amazing :D

You: You’re living the dream

Boo-Poo: There’s one thing missing

You: What’s that?

Boo-Poo: You

You: You’re too sweet

Boo-Poo: It’s the truth. Miss you

You: Miss you too. Can’t wait to see you, just a few more months. Will be there sooner than you think

Boo-Poo: Can’t be soon enough

You: I agree. What are the plans for today?

Boo-Poo: Quite chill, not much going on. Just sound-check and then the show. Maybe going out after, not sure yet

You: Have a fun day, rock out, give it your all. And if you go out, please don’t give that your all :p

Boo-Poo: I’ll be good 0:-)

You: I’ve heard that before ;)

Boo-Poo: I’m young, I make mistakes, let me live :p

You: haha live baby live. Dinner is ready

Boo-Poo: What did you make?

You: Lasagne, out of the freezer

Boo-Poo: When I’m home, I’ll cook for us whatever you want

You: That’s a promise you’ll realize! Love ya xxxx

Boo-Poo: Enjoy your meal! And for later, sweet dreams. Love you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

*later when you’re sleeping*

Boo-Poo: You’re up?

Boo-Poo: Are you ignoring me?

Boo-Poo: You’re sleeping, right?

Boo-Poo: There is this hot girl here that reminds me of you. Not interested in her, I habe you. I miss yu. I lobe you

Boo-Poo: (Y/N)! Im drunk! I love you!

Boo-Poo: I want you so much. Let us sext

Boo-Poo: Lol just pissed in the sink

Boo-Poo: Wyere going back to the hotel

Boo-Poo: Yoyre the sweetest candything in all off theuniverse <3

And that’s how it’s been going for months. You text every day, but it’s not the same. Calling is too expensive a lot of the times and skyping is so hard with the different time zones. You feel that the situation you’re in right now isn’t maintainable for much longer. You clearly miss each other so much, maybe too much. You miss seeing his face, looking into his bright blue viewers, hearing his voice, hearing him laughing, feeling his touch on your bare skin and breathing in his sent. You don’t know how much longer you can take it. You haven’t talked to Luke about it, because you’re worried what will be said when you open up that jar, but you’re sure he feels the same way as you.


“What’s this?” Luke walks of stage after rehearsal. He looks at the floor where he sees a path of smarties before his feet. He looks to the guys who shrug or have an ignorant look on their face. They follow the trail, it leads them to their dressing room. A note is hanging on the door. Luke takes is, his name is written in big, graceful letters on it. “Luke, go outside. There is a car waiting for you that will take you to your destination”, Luke reads out loud. He looks to the boys, searching for answers.

“What are you waiting for dude! It says what you need to do”, Michael says hastily.

“Do you guys know anything about this?”, they all shake their heads no.

“We’re as ignorant as you are”, Ashton speaks truthfully.

“Guys I’m getting in that car then. If something happens to me”

“You’re such a drama queen, just go”, Michael pushes Luke and he walks away to the car laughing. “Hi man, I was told to come. You’re driving me somewhere?” Luke asks the driver.

“Yes sir”, he starts the car and begins the ride.

“Can you tell me where we’re going?”

“No, sorry sir”

“Okay”, a bit defeated Luke sinks down in his seat, keeping quiet for the rest of the tour.

“We’re here sir”

Luke looks where they stopped. “But this is my hotel”

“Yes sir”

“What are we doing here?”

“I don’t know sir. I needed to bring you here. You should go to reception”

“Okay. Thanks man”, Luke gets out of the car and makes his way to the reception counter.

“Hi”, the girl behind the counter smiles to him. “I think I have something for you”, she gives him an envelope.

He takes it and takes out the note in side.

Dear Luke

We’ve been apart for a while now and it has been hard on both on us. Just know that I’m always thinking of you, that’s why I’ve arranged this surprise for you. How you like what’s waiting for you in your room.

Love (Y/N)

“Thank you”, he smiles to the girl. He takes the elevator to the fifth floor where his room is. When the doors open he sees another smarties trail that leads to his room. He opens the door, wandering what you have left for him in his room. Little did he expect of seeing you. You’re spread out on the bed, trying to recreate the sexy poses you always see in movies. “(Y/N)?” he’s dumbfounded. “What? You? Here?” he stammers.

“Surprise!” you smile bright, jumping of the bed.

“I can’t believe you’re here”

You wrap your arms round him and he does the same, pulling you close to him. “Do you like your surprise?” you look up at him.

“I love it”, you rest your head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat. Another thing you’ve missed so much. “How did you do this? How did you keep this a secret?”

“It was hard to not say anything, but the look on your face was worth it”

“Did the boys know?”

“Nah, only your tour-manager. Didn’t want to give the boys the pressure of keeping this a secret from you”

“You’re too sweet”

“I try”, you shrug.

“This is the best day ever”, he switches his arm position so his arms are tight round your waist and you lock your hands behind his neck. “I’ve missed you so damn much babe”, in his eyes you can read just how much.

“I missed you too”

“I’m never letting you go again”, his grips becomes tighter and firmer.

“I think you have to at one point”, you giggle.

“But not yet”, and then his lips lock with yours, for the first time in months you feel his warm, soft lips on yours again. Your lips move in sync, a familiar feeling of warmth, excitement and tingling  starts to build up in your body. The feeling that Luke’s lips always give you, that feeling that feeling you’ve missed so much.

“I love you (Y/N)”, he whispers on your lips.

“I love you too”, you whisper back.


Grrr tumblr app!


Clint had been watching over the whole of the living room from a distance. When Nat came up beside he asked, “You never had a problem with his age before… why now?”

Nat throws Clint a look that screamed ‘really?!’ but explains anyways, “Sure spiderman is helpful in a fight but that’s not why we wanted him here, and he’s too young to even know what love is, yet alone recognise he’s in the thick of it… That’s what I was talking about.”

Clint chuckles but nods in agreement. Then he sees the stunned shocked face on peter and chuckles a smidge louder, “I dunno I think wade’s got this.”

Natasha shrugs but the smirk on her face says that she knows something. She was glad Wade took her advice.

~ back at the table ~

Wade hadn’t said much more since those three little words back in the kitchen. Johnny kept throwing glares at him because he knew wade had done something. One look at Peter and it was obvious. He tried his best to hold the webslingers attention but peter was lost to the pancakes and whatever deadpool had done.

“So petey you gunna tell me what lover boy did?? Or should I just beat the crap outta him and ask questions later? You aren’t his boyfriend in this world so he should back off. Just let me know of he’s bothering you.”

Wade growls and tosses his butter knife right for Johnny’s head. He barely dodges it, despite it bein a dull butter knife the way wade threw it manages to knick Johnny’s cheek. “You should keep your nose out of this Storm. Or I’ll break that too pretty face of yours.”

“Oh don’t hate me cuz im beautiful wadey poo just because you look like a scaled monster.”

Wade cooling takes something from beneath the table. what happens next happens so fast if you had blinked you would have missed it. Wade had unloaded a clip right in Johnny’s direction. The first couple only missed because of Clint’s well timed projectiles.

“flame on” was shout but the fire never happened because widow had thrown one of her trademark stingers. Knocking the arrogant fantastic four member out. Then black widow was disabling and disarming wade. Once he had been freed of the gun he shakes of Nat and pouts off in the corner as the rest of the avengers pile into the dining room wondering what the hell just happened