no you don't ah well i do

Hannibal fic prompt: Will Graham is way too pretty
  • will graham: i’m a grouchy unsociable loner
  • jack crawford: you have 14 restraining orders against ex-girlfriends, ex-hairdressers, and ex-coworkers who randomly fell in love with you after seeing you once in the Quantico cafeteria
  • will graham: where i eat ALONE at a table by the window ALONE
  • beverly katz: people literally choke on their food around you because they forget how to breathe and chew at the same time
  • will graham: no one likes me or invites me to social events
  • beverly katz: you got invited to mark's retirement party just last week, you ruined three relationships just by walking around the room once, the only thing you told mark was 'sorry to see you go' and the poor old bastard offered to leave his wife of 25 years for you
  • will graham: i sweat like a pig
  • jimmy price: you don't sweat like a pig, you glisten like a sea-sprayed statue of antinous
  • will graham: my unironic lumberjack clothes fit me poorly
  • brian zeller: you made 'lumberjack slob' the leading fashion trend in the Washington metropolitan area.
  • will graham: my students applauded me once for shooting a suspect, it was inappropriate
  • beverly katz: wanna talk inappropriate, your students once gave you a five-minute standing ovation for drinking from a water bottle
  • will graham: alana rejected my awkward and fumbling advances
  • alana bloom: my self-esteem couldn't handle me not being the pretty one in the relationship
  • will graham: supermarket tabloids cast aspersions on my character
  • freddie lounds: how else am i going to justify devoting 8 pages to long-range photos of you playing with your dogs or wandering around your property in your underwear? btw calvin klein's people called, they're ready to offer you six figures to model those cute little boxer briefs you favor
  • will graham: help me jack i am so broken and vulnerable!..
  • jack crawford: sorry buddy, i'm going to have to talk with my back to you from now on, bella told me not to look at you ever again after i called out your name during our anniversary sex
  • will graham: WELL FINE SCREW ALL OF YOU I'LL JUST TALK TO THIS SHRINK I AM BEING FORCED TO SEE BECAUSE MY AIR OF MYSTERY, SELF-SACRIFICE, AND LOVE OF RESCUING ABANDONED ANIMALS ARE ALL SO OFF-PUTTING
  • dr. hannibal lecter: ...
  • dr. hannibal lecter: hello! i know we literally just met, but all i want to do for the rest of my life is cook you delicious meals and fill my mansion with drawings of your face and butt
  • will graham: ...
  • dr. hannibal lecter: sorry, i don't think i'm saying this right. my apologies, english is my fifth language.
  • will graham: ah ok
  • dr. hannibal lecter: what i meant to say was, i want to give you all my infinite money and also babies
  • will graham: fml
  • England: I wonder where Canada is- ah, it's his pet bear... what's your name again? Kumajirou, right? Do you happen to know where Canada is?
  • Kumajirou: who?
  • England: well, it's alright if you don't know, love~ Here, have a treat~ I'll be going now, so please make sure to tell Canada to call me once he's back home~
  • Kumajirou: ... that was weird... and this again?
  • Canada: hm? Kumajiji, was someone just here?
  • Kumajirou: oh, you're back home, food-giver. England wants you to call him- oh, and while you're at it, could you tell him to stop giving me Marmalade.
Actual things I have said while playing Heroes vs Villains on Star Wars Battlefront
  • As stormtrooper: "Ha ha ha, I can snipe you from here- OH NO I FORGOT YOU CAN DEFLECT MY SHOTS."
  • As rebel: "Don't you- don't you dare, no no no AAH VADER LEAVE ME ALONE!"
  • As Palpatine: "Ah. Shot in the back. Again. Who was it, was it Han? It was Han, wasn't it?"
  • As Vader: "Well, time to go collect my terrible children. Look, there's one now. Come here, son!"
  • As Krennic: "VADER PLEASE DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR TERRIBLE CHILD!" (Is promptly rescued from Luke) "Oh thank goodness!"
  • As Han: "Oh. Nope. Ha, nuh-uh. That is Vader and we're not fighting him- OH NO HE'S FOLLOWING ME!"
  • As Leia: "Hey! Stop with the friendly fire! We're not even outside yet!"
  • As Luke: "I'm a Jedi, like my father before me. But let's hope that father before me isn't on the field because -- oh no, he's right there." (Gets defeated by Vader, who sternly declares "Your destiny lies with me!") "Fine. Fine then! Drag me back to the Empire, see if I care. But I'm gonna drag my heels the whole way!"
Incorrect HP Quotes (Ron and Draco)
  • Draco: My, my, my. Look what we have here. A blood-traitor.
  • Ron: Well, hello to you too, death-eater.
  • Draco: So what brings you to this part of the world? Are you sure you are not lost? Maybe, your weasel brain finally snapped.
  • Ron: Shut up, Malfoy! I am here for Hermione. I am so tired of getting her books from that god-awful place in Diagon Alley. I never seem to know what she likes.
  • Draco: Of course you don't, Weasley. I wouldn't expect you to.
  • Ron: What do you mean? Ah, nevermind. Why are you here? Isn't this place making you burst into flames or something?
  • Draco: Umm, nothing. Just passing through.
  • Ron: ...
  • Draco: ...
  • Ron: Wait a minute! You are here for Hermione too! Its her birthday tomorrow. This a muggle shop. Why else would you be here?
  • Draco: Umm... Penelope Clearwater?
  • Ron: Oh, come on!
  • Draco: Fine, you nosy prat! It is Granger. I want to get her something nice. I have been here quite a few times, already. Cool place.
  • Ron: What?
  • Draco: Granger showed me this shop. It has a really cool home decor section.
  • Ron: What?
  • Draco: I understand you are a bit slow, Weasley. This muggle stuff is too hard for you. Don't worry, I am sure I can assist you.
  • Ron: ...
  • Draco: ...
  • Ron: I'll get what you get, then.
  • Draco: Oh, that won't be necessary. I'd like to be unique. Besides, I am getting her a new bed. The one in her flat is uncomfortable and really creaks a lot.
  • Ron: How do you know?
  • Draco: (smirks) Well, I should. I sleep on it.
how the dragon boys think about the bracelet girls
  • Yuya: Yuzu? she's my best friend! she has been so supportive of me all throughout my life especially when my dad left. I don't know what I'd do without her. I would do just about anything to make her happy. ah! but don't tell her I said that!
  • Hugo: Rin? hehe well Rin is... she's a great friend! an awesome friend! the best friend a guy could ever ask for. I grew up all alone except for Rin and the only way I was able to survive was because we were always there supporting each other. I really... like her.
  • Ute: Ruri? Ruri is great. she's just... so great, you know? I uh... I feel like it would be kind of rude for me to talk too much about her when she's not here. but she's a great girl. I want to protect her and see her smile.
  • Joeri: who the fuck is Celery
Jaehee gets a call from jumin who's desperately looking for help
  • Jumin: Jaehee ohthankgoodness you picked up
  • Jaehee: Well, of course Mr. Han, it's my job. Also, you texted me and said it was an emergency, what is it?
  • Jumin: I-I'm shopping for MC and I don't know what to get
  • Jaehee: Excuse me, did I hear you right?
  • Jumin: I'm looking for a gift for MC I- please help
  • Jaehee: Oh um, MC and I discuss makeup a lot when we hang out, it seems to be her passion, so maybe if you got her a lip-
  • Jumin: Ah! I know what to do?
  • Jaehee: oh I didn't say what shade y-
  • Jumin: I'll buy her a Sephora location! She'll love it! Thank you jaehee
  • Jaehee: waitthatsnotwhati
  • *Jumin Han has ended the call*

anonymous asked:

I just wanted to say I admire your art with a passion and that you're just really lovely!! I don't know what we did to deserve your beautiful art and your amazing personality, but whatever it was I'm thankful we did. I hope you have an amazing day. Thank you for what you have done and what you will almost certainly continue to do!!

aww, that’s so sweet and kind of you??? thank you so much!!! I hope you have a wonderful day as well!! <:

So I just met this guy who totally looked like Grantaire in a sweet-shop in Scotland and after I stared a little I bought some fudge and told him I like his tattoo and then he told me about ten minutes about the meaning and everything and when I said i’m too thinking about having one myself he stopped for a moment, then said, ‘Ah well, just forget everything I said, do what the fuck you think looks beautiful and it will.’ And if that’s not a total Grantaire-thing I don’t even know.

Just finished part 2 of Jojos last night, and if you haven’t seen it, I can give you a rundown of most every fight in the series so far.

Jojo: Haha! You idiot! You fell into my trap!
Enemy: That is what YOU think! I knew you would set that trap so I actually turned it against you!
Sidekick: gasp!
Jojo: Oh yeah?! Well I KNEW you’d think I was setting this trap so I actually planned out ANOTHER trap alongside it!
Enemy: Ah, clever, but it is too bad I posess this ability that makes me impervious to your second trap.
Sidekick: Oh my god!!!! He’s too powerful! There’s no way Jojo can beat him!
Mentor: No. Jojo has this. I know Jojo and Jojo has one more thing up his sleeve.

Jojo: BOY HOWDY DO I!!

Enemy: SHIT.
The hansa has a conversation about Gwent
  • Cahir: Why is my card in the Nilfgaardian deck?
  • Geralt: CAHIR, DON'T YOU EVEN DARE TO START
  • Angoulême: At least you HAVE a gwent card
  • Regis: Well, I would had prefer to not appear at all installed of appearing TWICE
  • Milva: Shut up you all! What do you have to comply at? At least your cards have DECENT DESIGNS!
  • Dandelion: Come on guys, it's just a game we are talking about
  • Milva: Aww, of course! "Just" a game because *you* had been throw out like trash!
  • Dandelion: AH! You are just envious because you know I am the best card!
  • Geralt: Best card? Your ability is like the most useless of the whole game
  • Dandelion: Aw, HE spoke! YOUR card was already useless in the basic game, it become even more now that the rules are all fucked up!
  • *the conversation goes on with an indecipherable and chaotic chaos*:
Working On OC Backstories
  • Brain: OK, there's the summary of their personality, to be developed as they play, a few quirks, one of which is probably going to be a lot more important than anticipated...now, for the significant backstory death–
  • Me: Do we really need one of those?
  • Brain: What?
  • Me: We could...y'know, NOT have a significant death in the backstory. Lots of people don't have those.
  • Brain: I'm not sure I follow.
  • Me: What if this OC is just well adjusted and doesn't have anything depressing in their backstory?
  • Brain: Ah, so you're setting up for a FUTURE full of misfortune. Dark, but OK, you asked for it.
  • Me: Wait, NO–

anonymous asked:

Draco, seriously, don't you realize that Harry could have someone so much better than you? Just think of who you are and who he is... (Sorry ! Draco is actually my favorite character, I just want to see their reactions, ignore this if it makes you uncomfortable and sorry if it does !)

Draco: Ah… I believe we have our first hater.

Harry: *incredulously angry* Do you people genuinely have nothing else to do?

Draco: *lightly* It’s alright, I don’t care.

Harry: I care! ‘Think of who you are and who he is’? What the fuck?!

Draco: Well, an ex-Death Eater does make an odd life partner, I mean, for the Vanquisher of the Dark L–

Harry: I am not inclined to make light of this, Draco. There is literally nobody else who’d be ‘better’ for me. I can’t be without you, you know that right?

Draco: *cheekily* Obviously. I’m still here, aren’t I? *sighs when Harry doesn’t soften* Come here… you’re awfully cute when you’re all riled up.

Harry: I hate these fucking–

Draco: Would you be quiet and kiss me?

  • soo ho: so how is sun, i mean... his majesty, doing after returning home from the mission?
  • ah ro: well, he's doing better. han sung actually has been helping me take care of him. han sung, why don't you tell soo ho how sun woo is?
  • han sung: sure! sun woo is going to be okay. i make him a pb&j sandwich.
  • soo ho: and?
  • han sung: he said he didn't want it so i ate it. he still looked sad after i finished eating, so i made him another pb&j. he didn't want that one either so i ate that one too.
  • han sung: but anyways, sun woo wants to be alone for a little while and now we're all out of peanut butter.
Fake Chats #117
  • Namjoon: *humming*
  • Seokjin: what song is that?
  • Namjoon: *hums louder*
  • Seokjin: I heard you well enough. What is the song?
  • Namjoon: you don't know this song?
  • Seokjin: maybe it's your pitch? Try it with ahh's. *demonstrates*
  • Namjoon: so you do know your own song.
  • Seokjin: you're not singing. Ahh-ahh-ah!
  • Namjoon:
  • Seokjin: or with lyrics?
  • Namjoon:
  • Seokjin: never mind, I sound better singing anyway.
  • Namjoon: *hums Reflection*
  • Seokjin: I liked when you were humming my song better.
  • Emily: So I've been wondering for awhile. Why do you call Jack Morrison "Dad"?
  • Tracer: Umm. I don't know he kinda acts like that to everyone so we started calling him that.
  • Emily: I don't know Reinhardt seems more like a "dad" than he does.
  • Tracer: We call him "Grandpa". Ana is "Grandma" sometimes "Nana". Angela would be "Mom".
  • Emily: Ah...I see...
  • Tracer: What?
  • Emily: Nothing! Nothing.
  • Tracer: Is this odd?
  • Emily: Umm...Well the calling a co-worker mom just sounds...odd yes.
  • Tracer: It's out of respect really.
  • Emily: I guess but...
  • Tracer: ...Do you want me to call you mom?
  • Emily blushing: ...well-
  • Winston: Hi, happy to have you over for movie night and all but I don't think now is a great time to-
  • Sombra: No no. Please go on. You're making everyone uncomfortable. Especially Team Mom.
  • Mercy: Please don't call me Team Mom for awhile ok?
  • 76: OK I am suspending the use of familial codenames for now.
  • Tracer: ...kay.
  • Emily: Ok...But what is Lucio then?
  • Sombra: Baby Brother.
  • Lucio: NO ITS NOT! DO NOT MAKE THAT A THING!

anonymous asked:

Wait how did we find out about master Raymond's descendants? Is this a novella thing? (I normally don't like reading novellas so I'm out of the loop)

Well it’s in part based on what Master Raymond tells Claire, immediately after he heals her in Dragonfly in Amber:

“Why do you call me madonna still?” I asked. My hands rested on the slight concavity of my stomach, gently as though not to disturb the shattering emptiness. “I’ve lost my child.”  

      He looked mildly surprised.  

      “Ah. I did not call you madonna because you were with child, my lady.”  

      “Why, then?” I didn’t really expect him to answer, but he did. Tired and drained as we both were, it was as though we were suspended together in a place where neither time nor consequence existed; there was room for nothing but truth between us.  

      He sighed.  

      “Everyone has a color about them,” he said simply. “All around them, like a cloud. Yours is blue, madonna. Like the Virgin’s cloak. Like my own.”

This alone implies that Claire is related to him somehow - and, of course, that he is a time traveler.

Which Diana Gabaldon has confirmed on her website:

Well, he’s a prehistoric time traveler. I think he came from somewhere about 400 BC or perhaps a bit earlier (not technically “prehistoric,” but they certainly weren’t using written records where he started out), and the 18th century is not his first stop.

He is–or was–a shaman, born with the ability to heal through empathy. He sees auras plainly; those with his power all have the blue light he has–born warriors, on the other hand, are red (so yes, “the red man” is iconic). He has a rather strong aversion to Vikings, owing to events that happened in his own time; hence his nervousness when he sees Jamie. He’s afraid of them, but he also realizes just what a strong life-force they have–that’s why he makes Claire invoke it (using the sexual and emotional link between her and Jamie) to heal her.

His descendants–a few of whom he meets now and then in his travels–have the blue light about them, too; in large degree or small, depending on their talents. So he knows Claire, when he sees her, as one of his great-great, etc. grand-daughters. And Gillian/Geillis is another–you notice she has Claire’s sense of plants, though she tends naturally to poison, rather than medicines.

We’ll see him again–though not in Jamie and Claire’s story, I don’t think. Master Raymond should get his own series of books, eventually.   So in fact, we’ll see Claire, Jamie, and Geillis again, then– but as secondary characters in Master Raymond’s story (you recall, Geillis mentions having met “one other” (time-traveler) in Voyager, but doesn’t tell Claire who it is).

Heaven knows just when we’ll get to that–in about ten years, at this rate–but we will get to it. <grin>

Clara x Jenny - Punk!AU

“Come on my impossible girl!”

“Right behind you, my unlikely gal.“

anonymous asked:

Hi Zoe, just wanted to say that I really appreciate the time and effort you put into making all this amazing free content for us to view. :) It's always a joy to see you post new stuff, but above all I hope you take care of yourself! Please don't overwork yourself and take breaks/postpone your updates when you need to because your health and well-being is most important!!! :) Sending lots of love here~ <3333

Ah don’t worry, I can balance it out because I choose to take this road and take it seriously this time. And make an update every week is a neccessary committment to get my brain used to do series. If I want to be a pro I need to do it, so I will be persistent. This is new to me so of course I feel stressed but other than that I’m fine. I opened Taspatic ad program and tips function just so I can be more conscious about the fans I have and try to be better.

I just make the post about my capacity to explain why I can’t update no hope no fear in some weeks because I don’t want you all to feel that I might drop the series :D No one force me anything, people on Tumblr are extremely kind to me hihi

Thank you for being my inspiration!

Originally posted by elitchu