no words can express the feeling

anonymous asked:

headcanons for how the guys react when they find a cute little list their s/o make in a journal or something about all the things they appreciate about them ♥

So because of my tattoo placement, I have to hold my arm really awkwardly over my keyboard so this’ll be a few weeks of fun and shoulder pain on this side hahahaha oh well…This is an adorable idea so I have to do it. It’s also mashing with another request of giving it to the boys as a gift!

When you hand a little, blue leather-bound journal over to Noctis, he’s a little confused, like, what is it and why are you giving it to him? Sit him down somewhere and get ready for him to become a stuttering mess as soon as he opens the cover and sees a little heart drawn around your scrawled handwriting that reads: to my prince. His jaw drops and his eyes light up, but he can’t find the words to express just what he’s feeling. Page by page, he flips through and reads all of the little things that you love about him: his eyes, his laugh, the way he holds you close early in the morning when he hasn’t woken yet, his compassion, the way he sings…And it goes on. There’s a reason that you love him for every day of the year, and on each page are little stickers. Some are fish, some are puppies, and then you’ve also doodled little figures of you two holding hands. Noctis is smiling ear to ear, cheeks are flushed, and his whole body feels warm and happy. Rather than express his thanks in words, he sets the book to the side and wraps his arms around you, pulling you against him in a tight embrace. Noctis considers himself imperfect, and yet you spent your time to make this to tell him that he is perfect. Every single part of him, body and mind, was worth the time and love. He was a prince with a doomed fate; how did he get this lucky?

The cover of the scrapbook is a pale shade of yellow, but not quite pastel, and it honestly makes you think of chocobos so it makes a perfect gift for Prompto. Inside, the little pictures sleeves are filled with some of the pictures that you’ve secretly taken with your own camera. There’s candids upon candids of Prompto, a few selfies, and even more shots of where you’ve traveled to. When you tell him you have something for him, he’s immediately a giddy mess. Surprise presents are the best! Of course, it makes him feel like he owes you something in return, and he’s rocking from one foot to the other until you hand him the scrapbook. Prompto stills, now cradling it in his hands carefully because these are the kinds of things that people put a lot of time and thought into, so he sets it onto the coffee table and sinks down to gaze at it, running his fingers across the cover. Frankly, he’s in disbelief that you took the time to do this, and he’s in even more disbelief when he opens the cover to find big, bubble letters saying you are my sunshine alongside a doodle of a smiling sun. The pages have all of your wonderful photos, but it also has stamps and postcards that your purchased in your journeys…And when you look over, he’s crying. You wrote that you love every inch of him; every freckle, every stretch mark, every little thing. You love his bad jokes, and you love it even more when he sings. Congrats, you made him cry, but it’s happy tears. He’s thankful someone like you loves him this much.

To make this a perfect gift, get one of those brown leather moleskines, the ones that are soft on the outside and feel as though they’ve spent all of their little journal lives out in the field. The cover feels worn and well-loved, and the pages smell delightful; it’s something Gladio will love. Fill the pages with stories from camping trips and adventures that you’ve had with him, and recount them in amazing detail with little dates by them. “July 15th, waterfall hike,” and then write something you love about him. There’s a lot to love about him, really. He’s dedicated, he’s loving towards his friends and his family, he’s selfless, and he’s such a big sweetheart. It isn’t often that these aspects of Gladio are complimented, so it’ll take him by surprise. Plop down into his lap one evening and replace the book he’s reading with the one you’ve made for him and watch as his eyebrows arch as if to ask what the heck you’re doing. The front cover falls open in such a familiar way, as if it had been bent like that many times before, and using a fountain pen, you had penned his name in huge, looping letters inside it. Beside his name is a little pressed Gladiolus flower, and just seeing it makes his lips soften into a smile. As he flips through the pages, he finds more and more pressed flowers and ferns from different locations, and they’re absolutely beautiful. It’s amazing, and he thinks you’re even more amazing for doing this. He can’t stop smiling, and he’ll hold you close as he reads through all of your shared stories. Inside, his heart is absolutely melting.

Make sure it’s a surprise and be very secretive, or else Ignis will see this coming for miles and he’ll constantly insist that you don’t need to give him a gift.Too bad. One way or another, you make it work, and you fill a little red journal with gold-stitched edges with cute poems and the tabs off of tea bags; one from every time you’ve gone to a cafe with him and ordered tea. Each of the tabs has a little inspirational quote on it, and they’re wonderful to read on a bad day. Fill the remaining pages with everything you love about him; when he wakes in the morning with his hair a floppy mess, when he comes home from work late and still spends time doting on you, when he’s selfless enough to throw himself into danger for his friends. Make sure to stick in little recipes that you want to try to make for him, or even short little songs to play on the piano. When you tell him that you have a gift, he’ll immediately try to downplay it and say that you didn’t have to get him anything, but his eyes will sparkle upon hearing that you made it. As he flips through the pages and reads everything you’ve written for him, he’ll soften and lean against you, sighing contentedly. You did this for him, just a servant to the crown all his life, because you found his qualities to be likable- no, lovable. He appreciates nothing more than you in that moment, and he’ll find some way to show his gratitude whether it’s making cookies for you or just holding you and pressing soft kisses all over your cheeks.

Do You Believe in Soulmates? Part 5

Part 1    Part 2     Part 3     Part 4

Summary: Your brothers and you meet up after years of being apart. The case you are working looks more and more like a supernatural case. But when your brother’s figure out what you are dealing with you can’t help but feel scared.

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, and Smut (only a very tiny bit). The whole nine yards.

A/N: Hey guys, thanks for the patience and support. I apologize for taking so long to come out with this but I hope you guys enjoy this and I hope this makes your day a little brighter :) Plus thank you for the love and support that you have poured out over messages. I’m going through a very tough time right now and all your support has kept me afloat. There are no words to express how much I love and appreciate all of you. Thanks. I love you all! 

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Fandom: Criminal Minds, Supernatural Crossover

Please Like and reblog! <3

Originally posted by smol-bean-reid

“Hey, it’s me. How fast can you get to Danvers, Massachusetts?”

“Woah! Slow down bug. Let’s start with ‘Hi, Dean how are you? You tied up at the moment?’” you brother replied.

Rolling your eyes, an action that was almost second nature for you whenever you spoke to Dean, “Fine. Hi, Dean how are you? You tied up at the moment?” you state out robotically, not waiting for his response you continue to talk “Okay so listen my team is looking into a case that seems to be more up our alley than the FBI’s.” You heard some muffled talk in the background and pegged it as the moose joining the conversation. “Three girls all 16 years, whose mom’s died when they were 10 were found murdered over the past three days in, and this is what got my attention, Danvers, Massachusetts.”

Before you could explain further Dean interrupts you, “Okay maybe you geeks know what the significance of Danvers is but you mind sharing it with the rest of us who actually have a social life?“

You laughed at the frustrated sigh that erupted from Sam’s throat, you could almost picture the bitch face that he was throwing at Dean right now. “Danvers, Massachusetts was formerly known as Salem Village, where the witch trials took place,” you heard Sam explain.

“There’s more,” you continue explaining the rest of the case to your brothers. After you finished explaining your speculations that the mother’s had made a demon deal and now demons were coming for the daughters, there was a long pause.

Dean decided to break it and says, “Okay bug we’ll be there in about half an hour. We’re wrapping up a ghost in Newton, New Hampshire. Can’t wait to see you, kiddo.”

You smile and say, “Sammy make sure you’re there as reporters and use the credentials that I had Charlie make you. And Dean, she’s married with a kid so no flirting.”

Though he had no i­dea who you were talking about Dean still managed to say, “Aye, that just means I can’t touch. I can still look, and talk.”

Laughing at your brother’s stubbornness you shake your head and say, “She also has two guns and is a terribly good shot. So I wouldn’t if you want all your limbs intact. See you soon.”

As you hang up the phone you can’t help but smile like an idiot all the way to your seat, just the thought of being near your brother’s got you giddy. Though as soon as you came in the view of your co-workers you subdued the smile and tried to act as you did before the phone call. You take an empty seat away from the rest of the team and look at the case files to try to think up an action plan. “You okay?” a concerned male voice breaks through your thoughts, thinking that it was either Morgan or Reid you sigh looking up, only to be surprised at the concerned eyes of the team leader that met you. “Yeah Hotch I’m fine,” you lie, so badly in fact that even a kid could see through you. When Hotch doesn’t stop his eye contact with you, you sigh and start to explain, “Hotch I’ve handled a case like this before back when I went undercover.”

Before beginning at the FBI you had to make up a background story. You held degrees in not only Psychology but also Criminology and Sociology. When Dean went to hell, you promised him not to try and get him out. This proved to be incredibly difficult because every moment you were awake you wanted to get him out, so you decided to go back to school and dove nose straight into a heavy course load. By the time Dean made it out of hell and came back to you, you wanted to drop everything and go hunting but after a lot of forcing on Dean’s and Sam’s part, you stayed in school for the rest of the semester before enrolling into an online school. And after Sam went to the cage, you found it difficult to live the apple pie life that you promised him you would. So you did the same thing you did when Dean went away, you dove into school and came out with your third and fourth degree impressively in a year and a half. However in order to be in the FBI, you had to have some prior work with law enforcement and after some calls, many of the law enforcement officials that you’ve helped out in the past put together stories of you going undercover for the cases that you solved as a hunter. So to the rest of the team, you started off as a field agent, who went on several undercover ops for several police units even though you weren’t officially a cop. You excelled in your field in a matter of months and the director of the BAU himself ordered for your transfer to the team effective immediately.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Hotch asked after you paused.

“Hotch the only thing that I can tell you about these cases are that it blows your mind how much there is out there we don’t know about. And for cases like this, I have to be fully focused on the case, so if I seem cold for the next few weeks I apologize,” you finish.

Hotch stares at you for a couple of seconds, and you know that he’s trying to analyze you but he smiles reassuringly and says, “When we land I want you with Morgan and me, we’re gonna go straight to the police station. And (Y/N) I know you might be intimidated to tell me things, but as much as I am your team leader, I am also your friend.”       

“So you’ve never seen these girls around here before sheriff?”

“That’s right. Never seen any of ‘em until we found the bodies. Excuse boys but that’s the FBI,” you hear the sheriff finish up what seems to be an interview with the two men that you have been dying to see. Even though you had to be professional you couldn’t help the goofy grin the ghosted your face when you made eye contact with them.

Originally posted by out-in-the-open

“Agent Hotchner? I’m Sheriff Boldwin. Thank You for coming on such short notice,” the balding sheriff shook hands with your team leader.

“Of course Sheriff, these are Supervisory Special Agents, Derek Morgan and (Y/F/N Y/A/L/N),” Hotch introduced you two, and you shook hands with the sheriff.

“Agents, can we get a quote for the paper?” Dean walked over and said confidently to your team leader. Morgan and you tried your best not to snicker at the face Hotch was making if it was possible you were sure Hotch would have punched Dean right then and there.

“Sir, if you follow me I can get you your quote,” you interrupted before your boss could tell them off. Morgan smirked and whispered, “Try not to scare them too much.”

“I make no promises,” you playfully whisper back to him before walking to an empty office room. Once you make sure that there were no prying eyes looking into the office you launch yourself into the arms of your eldest brother.

“Hey bug, I missed you too you know,” Sam joked as you stayed in Dean’s arms for a bit longer than intended. You smile at jump into his arms next, letting out a squeal as the giant actually picks you up off the floor and spins you around. After the warm greetings, Dean gives you the address of the motel they were staying at and then tease you, “So Supervisory Special Agent can we get a quote for the paper?”

Rolling your eyes for what seemed to be the tenth time in a matter of minutes you shove him a little. “Did you guys find anything else? Any omens?” you ask. Sam opens his pocket book and starts to state off signs he found, “Well since you told us we could only go as reporters, we couldn’t look at any of the evidence but there is definitely a demon in this town. There’s been rumors of cattle mutilations, electrical storms, as well as abnormal weather six hours before the girls showed up dead.”

Taking it all in you declared, “Okay well I’ll have to stay here and work the legal angle but once I get a chance to look at the crime scenes and evidence I’ll text you. Guys this demon took out three girls in three nights, there’s a high possibility that a girl is going to die tonight, and we have no idea why.”

“Okay I’ll do some more research,” Sam acknowledges the group.

“And I’ll do some canvassing,” Dean states, at you raised eyebrow he adds, “and keep the flirting to a minimum.” You laugh at this and bid them goodbye, exiting the room but before you could get far, Dean grabs your wrist pulling you closer to him and whispers, “Cas told us about your little soulmate. You know that you’re not allowed to date, right? You’re too young.”

You look up at you older brother, trying your best not to roll your eyes, you smirk saying, “Tell you what, you stop flirting with anything and everything with boobs, and I won’t go near him.” Satisfied at Dean’s conflicted face you walk back to the conference room where the team had started to set up. By this time the rest of the team was back, their raised eyebrows made you aware that they noticed the interaction between Dean and you. The interaction, plus the smirk that was on your face must have added up to you being interested in the handsome reporter to them, and the thought makes your smile falter. A little grossed out that your team now thinks you are attracted to your brother, you take your seat across from Reid and dive into the case files completely ignoring the silent questions being asked by each of them.

Reid came in with Rossi about ten minutes before you exited the office room with your brothers. He had a coffee in each hand, one for him black coffee with 4 packs of sugar, and another specially made for you. It was a silent pact made by you two that when you guys were working a case and one of you seemed to be a little bothered, the other would try everything to make them feel better. Spencer, of course, noticed that you were bothered by this case from the beginning. He also knew that you were as stubborn as it could get and wouldn’t talk or even acknowledge that there was a problem. You would over work yourself, be too invested and then go home feeling drained and crappy for weeks. 

However, what he didn’t understand is how you seemed bothered by the case yet on the jet after the briefing you were happy. You tried to mask it, but you were happy. Your eyes were sparkling, your cheeks were slightly rosy, and there was a ghost of a smile on your face for the rest of the ride. Though he loved to see you happy, he was a little perturbed that you were happy while they were in the middle of one of the goriest cases they’ve investigated so far. Reid had placed your coffee across from him and was searching for you when Morgan informed him that you were scaring off two cocky reporters. When you didn’t return for another 20 minutes Reid got worried and got up to come find you, but that was when you came out of the office room followed closely by two men who resembled greek gods. Spencer watched the interaction between you and the blond reporter, his heart twisted as he saw you smirking almost seductively at the reporter, leaning up to whisper something to him, your faces just inches apart from each other. He saw the conflicted look on the reporter’s face, guessing by the smirk on your face, he assumed that the reporter must have asked you out and you were playing hard to get. Reid was almost certain that that was what just happened. He had witnessed you turning down men like the reporter before, once he asked JJ why you did that she had smiled and explained either you were interested in someone else or you were playing hard to get. Reid considered the possibility that you were interested in someone else but quickly wrote it off.  One of the perks of being your best friend was that he knew all the men that you interacted with. Aside from the team, the only men you ever came into contact with were the mailman and the barista at the local coffee shop that you and Reid frequented. The mailman was 60, married with 2 kids and 4 grandkids, and the barista was engaged to his longtime girlfriend. He had considered that you might like one of the guys on the team but Morgan was too much of an older brother to you, Rossi treated you like his daughter and you were too scared of Hotch to have any sort of feeling other than respect for him. 

Thankfully Rossi spoke up, saving you from the awkward silence, revealing to the rest of the team what Reid and he found out at the crime scenes, “It looked like she put up one hell of a fight, and from the looks of it I think our unsub is an incredibly strong female. There is no way that any of these girls could have fought a man to this extreme.”

“Are you sure about that Rossi, footprints says the unsub is a size 10, that’s got to be one big woman,” you expressed your doubt.

Rossi took your doubt into consideration with a mischevious smile he said, “Hey Morgan you’re a size 10 in shoes, right?” Morgan nods. “(Y/N), you’re about the size of these girls. Why don’t we go outside and see what kind of a fight Morgan and you could put up?” Rossi suggested playfully. As you scoff off the suggestion, Morgan puts on a smirk and said, "Nah, that won’t be fair, I would cream her.”

“Morgan, she was able to fight with a 6 ft. 240-pound man and hold her ground for 15 minutes. I think she would cream you,” Reid makes the first contribution to the conversation since you’ve all arrived in Massachusetts. He went back to examining the case files as fast as he made the comment. There was a piece of hair that fell onto his face, and it took all you got not to reach over and put it in its spot. You didn’t even notice until then but he had gotten you coffee, from the looks of it, it was the coffee Reid especially makes for you whenever he wanted to cheer you up. There was a note stuck to the side of it ‘Whatever is bothering you, I’m here,’ you smiled as you saw he tried his best to reach you. As you were filled with happiness to see that your best friend will always be there for you, you also start to feel a little guilty at the way you’ve been avoiding him. It wasn’t his fault that heaven decided that you two were meant to be, and you should know better if the heavenly bastards wanted something they would get it one way or another. 

As you were looking over at him he looked up and you send a silent thank you for the coffee and the support through your smile. He smiled as well and focused on the map trying to come with a geo- profile. While he was busy thinking he brought his lower lip in between his teeth, and you pressed your thighs together trying not to acknowledge the heat building up in between your legs. You couldn’t help the images that played in your mind as you watched him bite his lip and run his hand through the unruly mess he called his hair. You wondered what his lips tasted like, how his lips would feel against yours. How your bodies would feel pressed up against each other, how good it would feel to have him inside you. Damn it (Y/N)! It was as if you were falling more and more for him the more you looked at him. Morgan cleared his throat signaling that you were hopelessly longingly staring at the doctor. Again.

You turn your attention back to the team, as Hotch asks, “So other than the unsub being female, was there anything else that you guys found at the crime scenes?”

“Yeah,” Reid looked up from the files, “There was sulfur at the scene.”

Dammit! You thought.

“File says that there was sulfur at the other crime scenes too. Not really in a pattern but definitely significant. It’s part of her M.O,” JJ adds. Just as you were about to text your brothers about the demon theory being correct, you get a message, you read it and couldn’t stop the little gasp that escaped your mouth. 

Prince and Princess of Hell. Meet us at the motel ASAP.

Tags: @fandomsneverdie14 @holahellohialoha @baerrylll @chocok22 @eternal-queen @thatonechickarlene @sophiphillips @wolfie-at-the-disco @heavenlycevans @padfootserastartsnow @moriarty21 @cool-bluemoon @britneynicole28 @cliffordevious @kpkarlee @thebadassbitchqueen @cloudroomblog @bloodyrayofsunshine @aknerdchick @marvel-music-books @yogurtlover @quirkiest-turtle @lostxghirl @lovecke @barbamademedoit

Want to get tagged? Just aske me in the comments or shoot me a request!

Feeling alone because you feel like nobody understands you is the worst kind of loneliness, as if speaking a language only you know and no matter how much you try to explain, it comes out foreign to others. You grasp at each word you can to express yourself until you realize there’s no point. The words crumble and fade, washed away by tears, shed alone in the dark for nobody to see, and you wonder when things got so bad for you to fall apart like that.

An uncoloured, uncleaned WIP of Cenna Caraway short-hair version. That’s the fashion she sported before Golden Quiche.

Why am I doing this instead of the expression memes? Erh, I’ve been feeling a lot of strain on my shoulders from writing lately. And I couldn’t get much stamina to really push as much words as I can.

Then a post suggested that if I’m getting signs of burnout, I should just do something different to get the stamina rolling again.

Haven’t drawn Cenna on paper at all, so here she is. I’m going to ink it with chinese ink and brush.

I think… one of the interesting things about online messaging and texting is that sometimes, writing out your feelings to someone is actually so much easier than speaking them. Like, I cannot easily express myself through verbal words. I stutter, I panic, I say “nevermind” because I can’t bring myself to admit the words out loud. But with online messaging, I can blabber on the keyboard like a stream of consciousness, and I can express myself to my friends in a way that’s sometimes very hard for me to do irl

Which is why I’m so defensive about this whole belief that face to face communication is more real than online interactions. In a way, yeah, it is, because it’s more literally “real,” and im not at all gonna deny the value in irl relationships. But online communication has genuinely allowed me, a socially anxious person with a fear of opening up, to develop meaningful relationships with people, and you don’t understand how grateful I am for that

Now listen here you little shit one tiny kudos does not fully express the how I feel when I read a good fanfic and I am no where near being able to express in words the shear heartbreak or pure happiness that these authors can make me feel so let me send another fucking kudos

Sometimes you can never explain why you love someone, somehow the words are never enough to express it. Maybe it’s just the completeness you feel in your heart when they hold you, or maybe the smile on your face when they tell stupid jokes, or maybe the way your soul calms when they watch you. It’s just the way they make you feel. That is true. Don’t try to explain it. Just feel it.
—  k.m
7 Anger Management Tips

1. Think before you speak as you can’t take back your words.

2. Don’t say anything until you’re feeling calm. We often regret what we say when we are mad.

3. Be simple and clear when you express what bothered you. Don’t be disrespectful, rude or hyper-critical.

4. Choose to leave the room or to distract yourself when you feel your emotions are really being stirred.

5. Try, if you can, to get some exercise as that reduces stress, and changes physiology.

6. Think about the people you enjoy being with, as that will remind you that not everyone is bad.

7. Try to plan ahead so you have some strategies when your feel the anger rising, and you need to take control.

Now we are 1000 people in this family! , Really guys, I have no words to express what I feel, many thanks for being here with me, for supporting me in all my follies and desires of pain, I hope we can continue to grow as the beautiful family that we are, I love you very much and really , THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR EVERYTHING! (Tomorrow I will announce what I have prepared for the special 1000 X3)

edit: ahora resulta que somos 1020 ._. …. meh 1020 CHICOS!!!!! wuuuu


Dating Dean Winchester would include…

• calling him out on his bullshit

• hunting together

• angels and demons knowing not to piss you off

• being a badass couple

• food fights

• rough sex

• morning sex

• any kind of sex

• I feel like he would have a dominant kink

• is into hair pulling

• growing close to Sam

• cuddles late at night

• just holding each other when words can’t express your love

• sarcasm 24/7

• Demon!Dean being obsessed with you

• you’ve died a few times and Deans tried to sell his soul but Sam won’t let him

• Sam trying to convince you to eat healthy but gives up when he sees you and Dean in an eating competition

• dancing around early in the morning

• making him breakfast

• him opening up to you about everything going through this head

• Crowley grows to like you

• TBH you’ve sacrificed yourself for Dean at least once

• is the big spoon 100%

• laughs when you lip sync the words to his songs

• o shit someone get me a Dean Winchester pls

there needs to be a name

for that horrible, sickening discomfort that comes with talking about trauma aloud

it’s shame, but that word is not enough

it is not strong enough.

“shame” is within the range of normal emotions. this is…something else. this runs deeper. this is something that lives in the same primitive brain structures as fear – fear, most powerful of emotions – but has the developed frontal-lobe sophistication of a more complex feeling.

it’s more shame than i can express. it’s a very physical feeling. something inside me recoils. i hate that i have to confront this horrific feeling to talk about my trauma in therapy.

What is Appropriate Assertiveness?

An assertive person is someone who:

1. Values themselves and other people equally

2. Has the confidence to say both “yes” and “no” – without feeling that they have to defend their position

3. Is willing and able to stand up for themselves, and ensures they are treated with fairness and respect

4. Takes responsibility for their own needs

5. Takes responsibility for their words and their behaviour – and admits when they have failed, or have made a mistake

6. Expresses their true feelings in an honest way (while being respectful and considerate of others)

7. Can handle disagreements in an open, healthy way so problems are addressed (instead of being ignored or hidden.)

Dear Even… I can’t believe i’m doing this, ugh.

I want to tell you a thousand things, so many, I might not have enough words to express them all (and I still have a shit ton of homework to do) so I’ll just stick to the basics.  

Thank you, would be a good place to start. Thank you for existing. Thank you because you’ve taught me how to live more, how to feel more. The moment you came into my life was the moment I started living in color, little by little you became an inspiration and it left me with all these emotions, too high to know what to do with them… Fuck. I’m not supposed to be this fucking emotional writing this damn letter. 

I’ve never felt so profoundly, so intensely. I had buried those feelings. I couldn’t afford to feel. Feeling was dangerous and confusing and I just couldn’t. Didn’t want to. But that fucking day, at the kose meeting, changed my life forever. You’ve showed me that it’s possible to love, to feel pain, to cry, and still be fucking happy. What? 

I am free, because I saw you being free. I love, because I saw you love. I feel, because I saw you feel. You showed me that even though we might stumble along the way, no matter how difficult our lives might be, there’s always a way. There’s always light at the end. 

Dear Even, thank you. Even though you are disgustingly beautiful, I’d say it goes beyond that pretty face of yours. You’re beautiful because of your smile, your voice, your loyalty, your compassion, your desperateness (you just ran with that idea, didn’t you?) Your patience makes you extraordinary.  

No matter what happens, I’m glad I met you. Thank you for allowing us to be a thing. For giving us a chance. 

Happy Birthday, baby.

Love, Isak.

P.S. If you show this to anyone, I will fucking murder you, Even. I’m not being cute. Love you!

Steps to Self-forgiveness

1. Take responsibility for what you said or did.

2. Think about how you were feeling at the time, or what was driving you to act in that way.

3. Related to this, try to identify the underlying need, or the motive behind the thing you now regret. (For example, respect from others, approval from others, wanting to feel good about yourself, wanting to pay another back, and so on.)

4. Express your regrets and attempt to make amends if your words or your actions have affected someone else.

5. Think of how you’ll change and will act differently, if the same situation occurs again. This is the real person that you truly want to be.

6. Write yourself a caring and empathic letter where you forgive yourself, and tell yourself you can move on.

7. Remember that your human – and we all have deep regrets; and we’re all on a journey – for there’s non-one who is perfect.

I have one last request for you, as you continue on your path of life: don’t fall in love with a writer. Please, don’t let them torment themselves at 2am thinking of how to describe the expression on your face at the first snow of the season. Whatever you do, don’t let them get distracted in the middle of the day because they’re trying to write up the perfect reply to your vague text. If you can ever control it, please don’t make them stay awake hours on end trying to hand-write you a letter to explain how they feel, when vocal words just aren’t enough. If at all possible, don’t tell them you love them, as they’ll think of a thousand and one ways to tell it back to you. I’m asking you this because it happened. To me. From you. And it sucked all the life out of me. Not in the sense that I didn’t write. But in the sense that all I did was write. Poems, stories, small journal entries. And it didn’t hit me until I heard your voice across that little coffee shop that my poem was about you. I realized you were the soft melody flowing through my head that I couldn’t get out, much like a favorite song. You were the glimmer of hope in the darkness of the night when my thoughts consumed me and I wrote until my hand hurt and my paper stained with tears. You were all of those, and so much more. So I ask that you please spare another writer’s heart, not to keep them from inspiration, but to keep them from hurting the way I did.
—  Excerpt from a book I will never write #1169 
Typical Traits of Mars in the Signs

What makes us tick? What gets us all fired up? What makes us angry, and how do we express that anger? What do we really desire, and how do we go about getting it? The sign position of Mars reveals much about our basic animal nature&#151;our aggressive instincts, our sexuality, and our drive.


  • aggressive, impulsive, but  don’t live in the past, and are not given to holding grudges or feeling resentful
  • listen to their instincts, make fast decisions
  • irritated by indirectness


  • generally calm and easygoing people, but powerful tempers when they’re overly provoked 
  • value strength and stability, they are driven by security and an especial fondness for personal possessions
  • slow to arousal, but theirs is an earthy and powerful sensuality


  • scattered and unfocused, easily bored
  • angry words&#151;some of the most incisive and sarcastic ones&#151; can fly around with the more energetic natives,  draw on their sharp wit to win arguments
  • often express energy through musical instruments and the like&#151;even video games


  • the most passive-aggressive position, seem to resist change and to shy away from direct confrontations
  • at their best, they turn others on with a protective, almost therapeutic way about them
  • have defensive reactions and bursts of emotional agitation when feeling offended


  • vital position, passions run high, and so does desire 
  • enjoy the pleasures of risk-taking
  • act with authority and power, and their personal magnetism generally endows them with the ability to get what they want


  • have a knack for handling a wide variety of tasks at once, and a tendency to take on perhaps too much at the same time, which makes them doubt their abilities. it’s hard for them to deal with it and they might turn into complaining, over-critical nags
  • earthy and sometimes nervous sexuality, shy but open to experimentation 
  • perfectionists at the heart, though they will be the first to deny it


  • overly indecisive, they feel the need to weigh all of the alternatives before taking action
  • they always play innocent when they are challenged, and can generally charm the birds out of the trees to win your favour
  • never mean but aggression has to go somewhere, so this often results sneaky behaviour and subterfuge


  • challenge themselves to do the impossible keeping their cool and their equilibrium on the surface
  • attracted to taboos and feel a certain kind of pleasure resisting their fantasies. also a black-or-white philosophy of life
  • their sexual appeal is strong enough that they generally do get what they want


  • when they get angry, they feel like running not knowing how to deal with their aggression, this is where their restless and adventurous nature comes in
  • playful and fun-loving, they love friendly debates, although they can go to extremes, very passionate about what they believe in
  • need to feel like they have space, they’re the ones who will run away when things get too serious or dull


  • a little hard on themselves, and sometimes others, though their self-control is strong when it comes to expressing anger, drive, energy, and sexuality
  • detests waste of any kind, which makes them hard to let go of things 
  • self-indulgent by nature, disciplined, realistic, possesses the ability to plan for the future &#151;something that many other signs have difficulties doing


  • a rather original view of the world, the tried-and-true methods of getting things done are far too boring
  • proud of their willpower and independence they are quite difficult to settle down
  • their madness isn’t easy to discover. Creative about getting what they want, you won’t always know you’re being dominated


  • an unusually passive placement, they don’t appear like they are capable of harming a fly
  • need a creative outlet that allowing them to express their desires of the moment, their compassion &#151;and even their anger &#151;freely and imaginatively
  • prone to feelings of guilt about their anger, and difficulties with asserting themselves
New Canon Incoming

So for anyone new to fandom, here’s what’s going to happen: the new series will air, and a lot of really committed, vocal, prominent fans will hate it. 

They will loudly and frequently express their disappointment and anger. They will feel betrayed by the writers, the actors, the directors, and by every fan who doesn’t feel the same way. The words “out of character” will be batted around in relation to the new series. You will hear: “They did it all wrong! Don’t they know these characters at all?”

Disappointed fans will complain loudly for X amount of time, attempting to convince others that the new series had ruined everything that came before, after which they will flame out as hard and brilliantly as they can. It will feel like a big deal. It will feel like a big loss, like the fandom is bleeding out, like it’s shrinking. Like it’s not as good as it used to be.

Be not afraid. This happens every time there’s new canon.  Rest assured that it always happens, and it isn’t a special feature of any one fandom. Some people cannot handle more story, no matter how good or well-constructed that story is. If it isn’t what they were expecting, if the characters change and grow, some fans cannot and will not cope. And that’s okay! Follow your bliss, friend!

But so many more people will flood into the fandom. Fandoms double, or triple, or more in size when there’s new canon. There will be new artists, new writers, new meta thinkers. They will bring us new perspectives, and you will make new friends. Lots of them! 

Looking forward to new canon is also looking forward to a whole new fannish culture. Are you ready?